Kim Kardashian: ‘I’m Definitely Scared For My Delivery’ – Scary Mommy

Kim Kardashian: ‘I’m Definitely Scared For My Delivery’

Image via Getty Images/ Mike Windle

Kim Kardashian is really becoming the voice of pregnancy truth. A few weeks ago she admitted she “hates” being pregnant. Last week she tweeted her actual weight gain. Now she’s coming forward to talk about her high-risk pregnancy, and how it’s making her terrified to deliver. Thank you, Kim. It’s always wonderful when someone with a huge platform is honest about their struggles. It makes a lot of women feel less alone.

Kim revealed in a post on her website that she struggled with preeclampsia during her first pregnancy. She had to be induced early because of it, then endured a very painful procedure after North’s birth. Her placenta had to be manually scraped from her uterine wall because it did not detach on its own. She describes it as “the most painful experience of [her] life.” They administered a second epidural for the pain but, she explains “we were racing against time, so I just had to deal.”

Because her placenta did not detach fully, Kim suffered through a landslide of medical procedures after North’s birth:

After all of that, I still had a piece of placenta attached inside of me and I had to have surgery to remove it. Then I had another surgery to remove the scar tissue. This was all preventing me from getting pregnant the second time around. I have amazing doctors that helped me through the entire process and I’m so grateful I was able to conceive again!

Because of all the issues with her first birth, her risk of having preeclampsia and placenta accreta again is elevated, which Kardashian admits is making her anxiety about delivery high. Who can blame her? Anyone who has experienced some trauma during labor can attest to the fact that the following pregnancy is not relaxing… at all.

There is a stigma attached to admitting you don’t love pregnancy. There’s also a lot of judgment that exists when you admit you are afraid to deliver again. The fears of pregnant women are often minimized by well-meaning family and friends. You and the baby got through it okay! You have the best doctors! There’s nothing to worry about! The months and weeks leading up to a birth that follows a traumatic one can be really awful.

My first pregnancy ended in an emergency c-section. My child’s heart stopped beating. I had to be rushed to an OR. I was terrified and convinced that my son was not going to be born alive. The surgery itself was quick, jarring, and violent: they were doing everything they could to get my son out as fast as possible. To say I was traumatized by that experience is an understatement. Yet when I finally wrote about the pain and terror I felt for months after my son was born, so many people brushed it off — many even calling me selfish for referring to my birth experience as “traumatic” since my child survived.

The weeks leading up to my second labor were anxiety-ridden. I was so afraid to go under the knife again after my previous experience and tried everything to be able to have a VBAC. I never went into labor, so on the advice of my midwife I had to schedule another c-section. I had a panic attack on the way to the hospital.

Pregnancy can be wonderful for some, but for others it is really terrifying. There shouldn’t be any shame in admitting that. Growing a human and coming to the realization that it has to exit your body somehow is not so easy for some of us. If you are dealing with anxiety about delivery, surround yourself with people who are sympathetic and kind. There’s nothing wrong with harboring some fear about such a momentous medical event.

“I have some days I get SO scared but then I speak to my doctor, Dr. Paul Crane, and he always calms me down,” says Kim. “My advice to anyone going through this or anything difficult during pregnancy is that all you can do is be hopeful, get the best information out there and just be prepared.”