As a parent, I lie all the time. They are white lies, naturally, and friendly lies, like lies about Santa and about how much candy I eat during the day. I use lies to motivate. And I lie a lot about food to try to get my kids to try new things.
Dinner is frequently a struggle in our house that often results in Mel and I caving in and serving mac and cheese. Some of my lies are desperate. Some are lame. Some are over the top. I’ve told my children a lot of lies to get them to try new things. Sometimes they work, but often they don’t.
The thing is, though, dinner is so frustrating with young children that a 20% success rate sounds pretty good. Here are a few of the lies I’ve told. I will let you decide if they were successful.
1. Princesses eat broccoli all the time. It’s what makes their hair so silky soft.
2. It’ll make you taller. Then you will be able to reach the monkey bars.
3. Me: Want to know what happened to your older sister who wouldn’t eat her peas?
Kid: I don’t have an older sister.
4. All Pokémon trainers eat bean burritos. I know. I used to be one.
5. I eat a pound of Brussels sprouts a day to keep me strong.
6. I was chatting with Queen Elsa on the phone. She said she loves Hawaiian pizza. It warms her heart.
7. Mom’s casserole is the best thing I’ve ever eaten.
8. It’ll put hair on your chest.
9. There are laws in this state against refusing to eat your mother’s enchiladas. I just don’t want you to go to jail. I want the best for you.
10. This baked chicken tastes a lot like boogers, and I know you love the taste of boogers.
11. Eat that broccoli if you want to impress your buddies with deadly farts.
12. No. It’s a candy casserole. It’s full of candy. Try it. You’ll see.
13. Have you ever tried oatmeal cake? It looks just like oatmeal, but it’s actually cake. God bless America.
14. Fairy godmothers only visit kids who eat apples. I don’t make the rules.
15. Steve from Minecraft told me to tell you that he loves baked ham.
16. I know it looks like rice, but it’s mac and cheese. Trust me.
17. Those aren’t green beans. They are magic wands. They will give you power over your brother. It’ll be worth it.
18. Have I ever lied to you?
I have told other lies. No doubt about it. I’m pretty sure you have too (or at least I hope you have). What are some of the lies you’ve told? Put them in the comment section. No judgment here.