Hey, Kids: Life Isn’t Fair

kids-poutingImage via Shutterstock

You know how, about 17 times a day, you say, “It’s not fair!”?  Well, guess what – you’re right. It’s not fair. Whoever gave you the idea that life is fair? Life isn’t fair. You’re not always going to get your way, and things are not always going to be equal. Period.

Life is hard. You are going to face some bad stuff  and people are going to disappoint you. You are going to disappoint and hurt people!   You’re going to get your heart broken – probably a few times. You’re going to lose people you love. There will be times when you will feel utterly lost. There will be times when you might even wonder how you’re going to get through the day, or the next hour. Life is going to chuck some ugly stuff at you that I can’t even guess at. It happens to all of us.

So, what are you going to do about it? Go ahead and cry and shake your fists. Lie down on the floor and kick and scream if you want to. But don’t stay down there for too long. Self-pity has its place; don’t let it rule you, though. Letting yourself be consumed by sorrow and self-pity will turn you into a bitter person who nobody wants to be around. Is that what you want?  To be someone who people steer clear of?

Don’t use “It’s hard!” as an excuse; you’re not excused from doing the hard stuff in life. Facing the hard stuff will make you a better, stronger you. People who avoid the hard stuff – they don’t grow; they stagnate and shrink on the inside.

Be brave. Know that whatever is happening right now isn’t permanent. Wherever you are right now, whatever you’re dealing with, whatever feelings you’re having – it will all change. A week from now, a month from now, a year from now – there’s no telling. But it will change.

Be hopeful.

Find the humor in things. You can’t go wrong with humor.

Be strong.

Be resilient.

Nobody really leads a charmed life, even if it seems as though some people do. Everyone has scars that they hide, pain and struggles that you don’t know about. Be kind. Look for the good in people – just like you want people to see the good in you.

Be humble. You’re no better than anyone else.

Be a good citizen of the world. Be the kind of friend you’d like to have.

Life is hard, and it’s not fair, but life is also beautiful and wondrous. There is so much joy and happiness to be found, but you have to go find it. You have to make your own happiness – don’t expect it to come to you; don’t wait around for someone or something to bring it to you. You go and find your happiness.

When you’re gone, what will live on is how people remember you. How do you want to be remembered?  Live like that – like the person you want to be remembered as.

This isn’t a dress rehearsal, kids.

Related Post: 50 Things That Are Unfair To My Children


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  1. Nuru says

    Funny a co-worker and I were having the “it’s not fair” conversation. She has 8-10 year old girls that come to play with her kid all summer and she put a moratorium on “it’s not fair” If you say it you go home-period!
    My question is when did parents stop telling their kids to suck it up? I was the youngest in my whole family, so I probably said “it’s not fair” with every other breath as a kid and “life isn’t fair” was usually the response. when I was older I was also told why my brother, cousins, or neighbors got to do things that I was excluded from-it wasn’t age appropriate because we were not equals!!

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  2. Christen says

    I love this. I fully believe it and have been taught that my whole life and now as a mother I am teaching this to my son. No way will he grow up one of these entitled little brats who thinks the world owes him something. You reap what you sow.

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  3. says

    When faced with the ” it’s not fair ” whine in my house I sing ” you can’t always get what you want ” as loud and as annoyingly as I can . . It used to really piss my kids off… Now they sing it to each other … And one of my smartass kids sang it to me when I explained the new chore chart ..

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