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An Absolutely Unofficial Guide To Your Vivid Marriage & Parenting Dreams

Your partner got kidnapped? Here’s what your brain might be trying to tell you.

Written by Allison Kenien
Ariela Basson/Scary Mommy; Getty Images

If you've been having weird, vivid dreams about your marriage or kids, you're not alone. In fact, it's totally normal. But what does it mean when you're drifting off to sleep and suddenly your spouse is being kidnapped or your child is getting lost at the mall? According to experts, your brain may be trying to sound an alarm about real-life issues.

"Dreams are the doorway to our intuition," says Meera Mohan, coach and therapy facilitator at Gilded Aura Healing. "Often we have more troubled or vivid dreams when we are ignoring what our subconscious wants us to pay attention to."

No need to lay in bed wondering what the heck your brain is trying to say, though. We've done the work for you! We asked dream experts to unpack the meaning behind the wacky dreams that pop up most frequently for moms. Here's what they had to say.

The Dream: Eek! You can't find your spouse! You've looked everywhere, but you just can't find that dude.

The Meaning: Schedule one-on-one time because it's time to get reconnected. This dream could mean you miss your spouse or feel insecure in your relationship. Perhaps work, kids, or other obligations are cutting into your time together. Plan weekly date nights, be intentional about daily chats or start up a new hobby together.

The Dream: You and your spouse are, *ahem,* knocking boots, shaking the sheets, taking a roll in the hay, doing the no-pants dance, makin' bacon. You get the idea.

The Meaning: If you're having sex dreams about your partner, you get a virtual high-five. "Sex is the height of intimacy any two people can experience," says Mohan. "It's likely you feel this closeness and have a strong bond in your waking life."

Before you celebrate, it's worth noting that this dream could also mean you aren't satisfied with your current intimacy level and wish for a deeper connection. Let's hope you have the "strong bond" situation instead, OK?

The Dream: He's kneeling before you with a ring, you're the superstar bride in a gorgeous wedding, and then you're jetting off to an exotic honeymoon.

The Meaning: Gosh, if only we could have this dream every night! Our dream experts generally agree that it's a good one to have. It shows deep commitment and the desire for a long life together.

Before you pat yourself on the back, though, double-check that you are actually happy with your current relationship. "It could reflect a longing to recapture the excitement and promise of your early relationship days," says Niloufar Esmaeilpour, founder of Lotus Therapy & Counselling Centre.

The Dream: Darn it — someone's being a dirty cheater!

The Meaning: There's good news and bad news. The good news is that this dream is not so much about sex and adultery. The bad news is that it may indicate feelings of doubt, insecurity, and fear. It might be time to work on communication with your spouse.

The Dream: You're having a raging argument with your spouse or child.

The Meaning: Are you holding back on telling the truth? Do you feel comfortable expressing your feelings? A dream about an argument can mean you have unresolved issues to work out with your loved one. Reflect on unresolved conflicts and work on addressing problems more openly.

The Dream: Your child or spouse is being taken away. Maybe your husband is being kidnapped by his boss at work, or your child is leaving to be with a mom who you think is way cooler than you.

The Meaning: This dream shows fear of losing your loved ones, and it could reveal some of your own insecurities. These feelings might be hanging around due to broken relationships, past incidents that left you feeling abandoned, or a lack of control over your loved ones. Take a close look at your relationships and why you have insecurities so you can heal.

The Dream: Your child is running into the street, then they are sticking beads up their nose, and then they start eating glue. Bottom line? Your kiddo is in danger.

The Meaning: For moms, our default mode is worrying about protecting our kids. Sometimes, that stress creeps into our dreams. "These dreams can happen if you're afraid of losing your child," says Carlie Gasia, a Certified Sleep Science Coach at Sleepopolis. "You anticipate danger and dream of this to try to predict what you fear."

The Dream: Oh, no! Your kid is missing at the grocery store. Or maybe you were busy and skipped school pickup time. Either way, you're dreaming about losing or forgetting your precious child.

The Meaning: Being a mom is hard. Every day brims with responsibility. Do you have too much on your plate? This dream shows concern over whether you're capable of caring for your loved ones. Try taking a close look at your obligations and find ways to focus more on your family.

The Dream: You're not being a good mom. Maybe your child is crying, and you can't comfort them. Or they're falling off the bed, but you can't reach them. Perhaps your child has a headache, and you can't find the Tylenol. Ultimately, you're having dreams about not fulfilling your mom duties.

The Meaning: Do you feel super anxious about being a good mom? It's understandable because kids need a lot of help, and we want the best for them! This dream may be telling you to overcome your self-doubt and ditch that pesky mom guilt.

These dreams may also point to unresolved childhood wounds. If that's the case, your subconscious might be nudging you to find ways to heal.

The Dream: There's a bun in the oven! No, you're not cooking. You're expecting a baby in your dream, even though you are not remotely close to being preggers in your waking life.

The Meaning: Lucky you! Your creativity is flowing, and your mind is primed for fresh ideas. You're thrilled to develop your identity and embrace changes. Think through the exciting projects, events, and desires currently fueling you. It might be time to embrace something new!