Listen Honey, You're Not 20 Anymore. No More Contact Sports For You.

Listen Honey, You’re Not 20 Anymore. No More Contact Sports For You.

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Dear Husband,

I’m so sorry. You made quite the run as an athlete without any major injuries, or at least any that required surgery. Getting old is the worst. It’s going to be rough having to rehab and not be able to life an active life for the time being.

But I’m more sorry for me.

You see, we have three kids (the oldest being 4) and a two-story house. Neither of those things are changing when you get surgery this week. While you are drugged up and watching Netflix, I’ll be managing the kids.

Recovery is going to look a bit different from what it would be if you had done this before we had children. I probably would have taken some time off work, given you a bell to ring if you needed something, rented movies, cooked for you, and written encouraging notes on Post-its stuck all over the house. Instead, you will need to set your own alarms for when you need to take pain meds. I’ll put a case of water and snacks on your nightstand, and I’ll see you around 7:30 p.m. — best of luck. See, I didn’t drop out of nursing school solely because of anatomy and physiology. I also discovered that compassion isn’t my strong suit.

Also, if you by any chance have a secret wife I don’t know about, now is the time to come forward. I’ll grant you complete amnesty because I could really use her help the next couple of weeks.

Next, we need to discuss your athletic endeavors moving forward. This injury took place while playing adult league flag football. There were a few problems with this: 1) You never played football growing up, 2) we live in Texas where football is life and everybody who played in high school was bound for the NFL until some coach didn’t see their true potential, and 3) you were playing with 20-year olds.

Whoever says 30 is the new 20 is not talking about playing sports. Thirty don’t play.

There are lots of ways to get exercise. We are surrounded by running trails, we belong to a gym, and we have three small children you can chase. In the future, if you could stay in shape by doing things that involve running in a straight line, that would be fantastic. You can run races, do triathlons, or even the MS 150! However, if it involves cutting, 20-somethings, or keeping score, the answer is a firm no.

We will get through this. But as a small request, if someone asks you what they can do, please let them know they can bring dinner, take a child or two or three, or give you a ride to work.

Love Always,

Your Wife