The Myth of Losing The Baby Weight

302 Comments

women-weigh

I ran into an acquaintance the other day who had recently delivered a baby. She looked phenomenal, with no remnants whatsoever of the baby weight lingering around.

“How the hell do you look like that?” I asked, not even attempting to mask my utter annoyance.

“Oh, you know,” she explained. “Since I had a baby plus a toddler, I just spend all of my time running after them so the weight fell off. Plus, I just never seem to remember to eat!”

That was not the response I wanted to hear.

I’ve seen countless celebrities singing the same tune and it always makes me crazy. I have three kids and I have never once found myself running after them. Maybe I’ll dash over if I hear a loud thud followed by silence, but certainly not often enough to break a sweat. Sure, I’m with them constantly, but my normal pace is more like a saunter. My heart rate is steady and you could never call gently pushing a kid on a swing an aerobic workout.

And, how does one forget how to eat? Like, ever? The only time I ever came remotely close to not eating three square meals plus snacks daily was when I was working in an office for ten hours a day, in a cubical all alone. But, babies eat regularly. Kids are constantly asking for snacks and meals and treats. Never mind, that their plated constantly need to be “cleaned.” As a mother you are surrounded by food– how on earth is it forgettable?!

If you’re rocking a post-baby body and I ask how you got it, please give me a response like:

“I’m starving and miserable, but I really wanted to get in these freaking jeans again”

“Breastfeeding. It’s the best diet ever.”

“I work my ass off at the gym 24/7.”

“Genetics. You should see my mom.”

“Honestly, I have no idea how the hell it came off so fast.”

Or, even the dreaded, “I’m eating less and moving more.”

Those I can understand. I can’t relate to them, but I can live with them.

But, please don’t give me the running around and forgetting to eat bullshit.

I’ve been there. I know better.

Comments

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    • 4

      Scary Mommy says

      Watching them eat prevents me from eating too much off of their plates. If they haven’t mouthed it, picked at it, licked it etc., I’ll eat it. But, chances are, they’ve done at least one of those. Nasty little creatures.

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  1. 5

    Katie E. says

    So so true! I hate the celebrity post-baby pictures talking about how they lost all their weight within a week or so of having a baby. With the obvious assistance of a personal trainer, a chef, and maybe some type of surgery. I kept talking about how I had to lost my last 10 pounds of “baby weight” for 6 years after my second kid. It probably wasn’t baby weight anymore at that point. Then I lost most of it and got pregnant again. And I have to say – the third time it’s taken me months and months to lose the weight. I kept waiting for it to sort of melt off, but it didn’t work. I had to stop eating like I was still pregnant. But I didn’t want to wear maternity clothes for the rest of time, so I worked on it. I’m now back in my regular clothes, but still have a bit of weight to lose. My baby will be 9 months old next week, so it wasn’t exactly speedy.

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  2. 8

    Liz Gossom says

    I don’t eat when the kids eat bc I don’t want to eat cheese sticks and chicken nuggets for every freaking meal like they do. I want real food, like Doritos and sour cream, with a big spoonful of peanut butter to round it out.

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  3. 9

    Rachel {at} Mommy Needs a Vacation says

    I believe I saunter as well…there is no way I run after my kids. I sit in the backyard, on my ass, drinking wine while THEY run.

    I am a thin person & eat a lot but I am the 1st to tell you, I work HARD in the gym…A LOT. But only so I can drink wine at night! :-)

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      • 11

        Danielle says

        It took me a long time to go to the gym because I didn’t know what what I was doing, and I didn’t want to go tot a class for fear of embarrassing myself. I broke down and went to a kickboxing class and found out that I love them. I can people watch while I pretend to kick and punch the skinny B8tch in front of me!!!!

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  4. 12

    Julie McGuire says

    Actually, I do sort of get it. I had my second child when my oldest was only 14 months old. My meals consisted of her left-over cheerios or animal crackers and I was so flippin’ tired I didn’t have the energy to chew. However, now that they are teens, I find I’m eating their crap and the weight is creeping up. Love it when the metabolism slows down just as junk food finds its way into the house.
    Love your blog.

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  5. 14

    mom taxi julie says

    Before I got pregnant with my middle child I had went on weight watchers and lost about 50 pounds. Then I got pregnant and threw up for 9 months. The kid weighed 9 1/2 pounds so I came out of it weighing less than I went in. Talk about awesome! (Well except for the throwing up part).

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      • 16

        shama-mama says

        I weighed the same the day b4 i got pregnant and the day b4 i gave birth! i was a skinny, teeny tiny lil girl after my pregnancy :) My third pregnany changed all that…i have a closet full of clothes that i drool over everyday. I can even fit onto hubbys pants now :(

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  6. 17

    Seriously Sassy Mama says

    I love this post. Love it! I had a two year old with a baby, and I ate all the time. Then I had two under 4 when the third arrived. Breastfeeding did not help me at all. I was 100 pounds when I started having kids, and now after, it is like a big German grandma came out in the form of my ass. The only thing that has helped me to get back into shape is exercise and cutting calories.

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  7. 18

    KalleyC says

    I’ve lost weight after my daughter was born, and people kept asking me how I did it. I did it through hard work, calorie restricting and breastfeeding. But when I tell people that they give me a look like I have 3 heads.

    I don’t think the weight will just fall off because you forget to eat. I know that when I don’t eat enough, my mind goes through a “there ain’t no ice cream in the house!” phase.

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  8. 20

    Rach Corrin says

    I BF and gave up my car. Walked EVERYWHERE. Nearest shop to our house is 2 miles. Back to normal weight pretty quick. It’s the belly sag I can’t shift, despite sit ups… any ideas? Lol

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  9. 23

    Amy ~ Eat. Live. Laugh. Shop. says

    Agreed! I wish people were just honest about it. I work my ass off — literally. That’s how the baby weight came off. If someone told me she “forgot to eat” I think I would subscribe her in the pie/cookie/cake of the week club!

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    • 25

      Leigh Ann says

      A friend of mine gave that excuse of forgetting to eat or justnot having time to eat. She had 1 baby a couple months older than my TWO babies. Yeah, I didn’t buy that crap. If I have time to eat, so do you. We all knew she just wasn’t eating.

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  10. 26

    Jack@TheJackB says

    As a PSA to the men who read this, when someone says how do you get rid of the babyweight never respond by saying “divorce.” For some odd reason women never find that to be funny.

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  11. 27

    Rebecca says

    I am completely guilty of forgetting to eat.

    It’s not so much that I forget, I get distracted/busy. Next thing I know I’m giving the kids lunch and all I’ve had is coffee. I don’t eat what my kids eat and I NEVER clean their plates.

    It’s 3:24 pm and I’ve eaten nothing yet today. But somehow I’ve the time to comment here. Go figure.

    BUT

    I still haven’t lost all my baby weight.

    That, friends, is bullshit.

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  12. 30

    Karin says

    “thud followed by a silence” pretty much sums up my parenting philosophy too. I lost all the weight through extended BF, weigh the same as I did before, but have the dreaded muffintop that is apparently here to stay. Not done having kids yet so I pretty much just ignore it.

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  13. 34

    Letty says

    WOW.. in doing the exact thing and still as big as I was when I gave birth two freakin years ago. I’m constantly running after my now toddler sweating bullets cuz the kid can’t play with out me and I always forget to eat and of I do eat is bcause I’m at work. But alas no weight has come off. Grrrrrr and I even breastfeed and pumped and no dice. Double grrrrrr

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  14. 39

    Team Suzanne says

    Per your request, I’d like to tell you: “Honestly, I have no idea how the hell it came off so fast.”

    But, in truth–I suspect it’s because I don’t eat. It’s 4:45 and I’ve eaten one cup of Greek yogurt. I’m 5’4″ and weigh under a buck ten. And, I also do yoga to keep Celexa off the grocery list.

    At other times, though, I eat nachos like someone trying to win a contest. Probably because I’m starved. But it doesn’t affect my weight. There’s clearly some bullshit in play with the weight thing. Diet and exercise are only part of the story.

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  15. 43

    nellie says

    I totally agree! I didn’t lose the baby weight by running after anything but a constant bag of doritos :) losing the weight took such hard work, hard hard hard work. But at least I know how to prepare for next time :)

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