A man on the internet tells moms everywhere we don’t “need epidurals”
Another day, another man taking to the internet to mansplain. This time, some dude decided to dictate to women everywhere the proper way to handle something he won’t ever actually experience: childbirth.
Writer Nicole Cliffe often does the Lord’s work by outing asshole dudes on Reddit and elsewhere for their awful takes on relationships, parenting, and life in general. If you don’t follow her on Twitter, you’re doing yourself a disservice. Her most recent (and deserving) target: a man who took it upon himself to let all women know we don’t need epidurals.
Yeah. Uh-huh. See for yourself.
This guy. pic.twitter.com/WIAV25opXD
— Nicole Cliffe (@Nicole_Cliffe) January 9, 2018
Regarding epidurals: “Women don’t need them at all. Never have. Since we only started using them in modern medicine.” OMG, dude. Just because you’ve been a spectator alongside two births does not in any way mean you have license to tell other women how to handle the pain of childbirth.
In that vein, how about we just eliminate protective cups from all male-dominated sports? Just let those crown jewels fly free, vulnerable to all manner of injury/line drives/hockey pucks/knee jerks. Men don’t NEED them at all — but what do I know, I’m just a woman who has never had testicles.
The replies to Cliffe’s tweet are, as you’d expect, comedy gold.
I'd like to break both of his legs and then tell him that he doesn't need pain medication because they didn't have it in olden times.— Chelsea M. Cameron (@chel_c_cam) January 9, 2018
Lol I love these guys, there are a lot of them out there & they should start a fraternity— STFU, Parents (@STFUParents) January 9, 2018
Having given birth both with and without an epidural, I can safely say I want to peel the skin off this man's dick with a spiralizer and feed it to him.— Donna Dickens (@MildlyAmused) January 10, 2018
I hope someday he gets to take a 9-lb dump over the course of 18 hours while someone holds his hand. I know that would still be better than labor/childbirth since I’ve given birth twice, but it would be a good intro.— 🦃Michelle Martin (@mmdeininger1) January 9, 2018
That's why I don't shake hands anymore. Reminds me too much exactly of what giving birth feels like— Riane Konc (@theillustrious) January 9, 2018
This guy should get a colonoscopy without anesthesia.— Cindy Wolff (@cindalawolff) January 9, 2018
Ha! But seriously, who is this dude to say what women need or don’t need in the throes of pain? Shaming anyone for how they handle serious physical pain is just a shitty thing to do, but shaming laboring mothers? When you’re a man who doesn’t know what childbirth feels like? GTFOH with that trash.
I was only four centimeters into a breathtakingly painful back labor when my doctor offered me an epidural (I wasn’t about to let him break my water without one). I was hesitant at first, until he looked me in the eye and bluntly told me, “There are no prizes in heaven for forcing yourself to endure pain.” Less than 15 minutes later, the anesthesiologist was injecting me with a line to The Good Stuff and it was smooth sailing until my three-hour push time. No regrets, 13/10 would repeat.
The “modern medicine” barb in that guy’s rant is a nice touch, too. I presume this man refuses all antibiotics and pain medications in lieu of leeches and ground thistle paste akin to the medicine of Ye Olden Times.
Most of his previous posts are about scoring weed, which seems mildly ironic.— Nicole Cliffe (@Nicole_Cliffe) January 9, 2018
Yep, that sounds about right.