17 Easy Steps To Treat Yourself On National Bubble Bath Day – Scary Mommy


17 Easy Steps To Treat Yourself On National Bubble Bath Day

me time mom

shaunl / iStock

January 8 is National Bubble Bath Day! This is how moms across the country will be celebrating this very important holiday with a little “me time”:

Step 1: Announce to everyone in your home to leave you alone because you’re taking a bubble bath right now to celebrate.

Step 2: Spend 10 minutes pulling every plastic toy out of the bathtub.

Step 3: Notice that some of these toys are full of moldy water, bring them down to the kitchen, and put them by the sink to disinfect.

Step 4: Go back upstairs to find a kid pooping in the bathroom where the now-empty tub resides and evacuate, because OMG what the hell did that poor child eat?! 

Step 5: Get asked 1,200 questions by your toddler.

Step 6: Decide to throw in a load of laundry while the bathroom airs out.

Step 7: Go upstairs to the bathroom, look for bubble bath while spraying Febreze in bathroom. Don’t find it.

Step 8: Rummage around your room, hoping to find some dusty bottle of bubble bath your husband got you many Valentine’s Days ago.

Step 9: Go back into the bathroom and realize your son never flushed. Flush and light a candle (or 12).

Step 10: Open window.

Step 11: Smell smoke, run downstairs to see your tween burning a Pop-Tart in the toaster.


Step 12: Cook new Pop-Tart, forbid children from cooking, leaving the house, or doing anything dangerous for at least the next 30 minutes.

Step 13: Go into the bathroom, grab the bubble gum no tears kid’s foaming soap and use it to make bubbles, because dammit, you will take a bath today.

Step 14: Answer 75 more questions from the toddler who followed you upstairs.

Step 15: Banish all offspring from bathroom, strip down, get in tub.

Step 16: Get out 90 seconds later because doing the laundry used up most of the hot water and now you hear the kids fighting in the kitchen.

Step 17: Mark your calendar for January 8 next year, because oh, you have big plans to celebrate next time. Damn right you do!

Scary Mommy is now on Snapchat Discover

17 Easy Steps To Treat Yourself On National Bubble Bath Day

Snap or Click to join us!