You Know You’re the Mom in the Office When…

mom-office

It doesn’t matter how hard you try and separate your work life from your family life, like the inevitable movement of the tides, the two keep flowing right back into one another. When I set back off to work last year with every intention of being super career woman, I failed to take into account the influence the months and years of full-time motherhood have had on my persona. You can take the mom out of the house, but you can’t take the mom out of the mommy. Here’s a list of some of the more humorous reminders that you are indeed the mom in the office:

1. You pull out some random scrap paper to make notes in a meeting and then realize it’s the chicken pox and lice warning from your kid’s school. “What’s that you’re writing on? OH GOD! Does anyone else feel itchy?!?!”

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2. You use a pen with a wild-haired troll as the eraser, not because you’re being ironic, but because it is the only functioning pen in your work bag. (Personally, I’ve been known to use crayons, scented markers and #2 pencils. Can someone please explain why my kids beg for the troll pen and then only use my black bic?)

3. You sometimes accidentally refer to your department as your kids.

4. You find yourself using your best toddler crisis management skills to calm down an angry coworker. “Sshhh, why don’t we go and sit down over here and have a little snack. Do you feel better now? That’s a good boy!”

5. In the heat of the moment, you go through 15 names trying to come up with the one for the person you’re yelling to…including the names of your own kids, pets and a few cartoon characters. “Billy, Sandy, Dora, Peter Rabbit, aw hell, whatever your name is, you forgot to bring your notebook!” (Oh wait, maybe it isn’t an accident that you refer to your department as your kids.)

6. You’re secretly thankful when your co-workers stayed out partying the night before and are now all hungover because you were sick of being the only one in the office with bags under your eyes. (Our kids will all start sleeping someday, right? RIGHT?!?!? Aw, damn.)

7. You stay in the office past 5pm because it is the only place you can get some peace and quiet. (I’d like to take this moment to thank my own daycare for staying open until 6pm.)

8. And on that same note, you actually look forward to Mondays because it means you get to go somewhere you can finally get some peace and quiet.

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9. When everyone else is talking about what they watched on TV the night before, you are the only one who says “Nick Jr.”

10. When the management need a project done with no notice, no budget and little oversight, you are the first one they pick. (Because really, after juggling two kids, two schools, fourteen after-school activities, a house and a spouse, what’s a little work project?)

Hmmm, maybe being the mom in the office isn’t so bad after all.

About the writer

Lynn Morrison is a smart-ass American raising two prim princesses with her obnoxiously skinny Italian husband in Oxford, England. If you’ve ever hidden pizza boxes at the bottom of the trash or worn maternity pants when not pregnant, chances are you’ll like her blog The Nomad Mom Diary. You can also find Lynn over on FacebookTwitterBLUNTmomsHuffington Post and in the awesome new book I Just Want to Be Alone.

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Estina 11 months ago

I struggle with being at work and worrying about my kids and rushing to get home, to being at home and worrying about work and rushing out the sorr to get back to work to check on whatever project kept me up all night worrying! There is no contentment for a working mom. You always feel like you should be focused on the other. And both carry guilt.

Jillian Wilkins 2 years ago

Hahaha Thanh Ngo… #7 and #10 are totally you! So glad you are on our team!

Lej Bat 2 years ago

Love #4

Dana Saccente 2 years ago

# 7 and 8!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nareen Beales 2 years ago

Is using #4 on your husband also allowed?

Yas Reid 2 years ago

6,7,8,and 9 … All me!

Tara Smith 2 years ago

Number 6!!

Aimee 2 years ago

When anyone is sick or hurt, they come to my desk, because they know I have aspirin/tylenol/motrin, decongestant, tums, tissues, band-aids, neosporin, hand-cream, cortizone cream, nail clippers, emery board, floss. A mending kit, lint roller, feminine products. I’m like the school nurse of the office. (Good thing I coupon!) I actually love being the “hero” for people who need stuff!

Cathie Young 2 years ago

Number 7, as long as I can drag it out

Tammy Duquette 2 years ago

I’m so guilty of many of these!

Holly Anne Balish 2 years ago

Nope, number 7. All the time.

Trudy Jones 2 years ago

….and a wee nap over the keyboard on a Monday morning

Victoria Baker 2 years ago

Everyone feels better after a snack right?!

Linda Hollander 2 years ago

#11 licking your thumb so you can clean off that stuff on your coworker’s face. I accidentally do this too often.

Belinda Heys 2 years ago

Number 10 all the way!:)

Meagan Bateman 2 years ago

I ❤️ it! Also, #11 you’re the first to notice when someone’s missed a button/snap/zipper, forgot a belt loop or their shoe is untied & you have to mentally cue yourself not to reach out & correct it, GAH!

Shay Ope-James 2 years ago

Number 10 is me and it’s because moms are the only one who can get it done #superpowers

Vicky Willenberg 2 years ago

I work from home but often tell my kids I’m working when I’m just playing on Facebook. They think I’m a really depicted employee when really I’m just a crappy mom;) Suckers!!!

Ali Kuhl 2 years ago

#12 You left a daycare statement in a conference room cause it fell off being taped to your lap top as a reminder.

Ali Kuhl 2 years ago

7 & 10. Lol

MyLove M. Barnett 2 years ago

#11 – When you take files in for review/signatures, and while you wait, you stand there hugging the file folder to your chest as you gently sway back and forth as if you’re rocking a baby back to sleep…

Tenisha Ashley Lebeau 2 years ago

Literally only pen in our house!!! Lol

Alissa Gabriel 2 years ago

7 and 8 are true for every mom I know.

Meredith 2 years ago

I love it! Now I really just want to start leaving my house to go to work so I can be awesome like this!

Bonnie Schwerin 2 years ago

#10, all the way.

Jana Delfino 2 years ago

I confess to #10….

Nicolle Monoxelos 2 years ago

#5 holy crap we went through this with my yiayia we thought she was nuts my gam same thing then my mom we were all like why cant the get out names well 2 kids a dog and hubby later im offically there who the hell are they again?

Birdie Bird 2 years ago

#7 and #9 sums it up for me.

Michelle Maxson 2 years ago

All true.

Clank Diesil 2 years ago

<3 your blog. Makes me feel better about my day :)

Monica Duran 2 years ago

OMGosh! #7, 8 & 10!!! lol

Julie Katz 2 years ago

i do #5 all the time

Lynn Morrison 2 years ago

I am sooo happy that you guys liked my post. Your community is amazing and so super supportive. Congrats on being one of the last nice places on the internet. Love you – The Nomad Mom Diary

Josie Abshier 2 years ago

Aww I wish I loved my job as much as the author. I’m the one counting down the minutes until I can go get and hug my babies. I work to feed us but dropping them of every day is still hard 4 years later. Maybe I need a different job.

    Lynn @NomadMomDiary 2 years ago

    I definitely think you need a different job. I love my girls but I also love my job and get a lot of fulfillment out of it. That helps when I am having a rough day or feeling guilty because I’m not with them all day long anymore. Crossing my fingers that you will find a better solution!

Foxy Wine Pocket 2 years ago

I remember all of this from my years of working in the office. So hilarious and true. I used to look forward to business trips; I treated them like vacations. And my co-workers would always come to me to fix things because I had the “MacGyver purse.”

    Lynn @NomadMomDiary 2 years ago

    MacGuyver purse! I love it. I had to bum some sudafed off a coworker recently and I felt like a giant failure. Thanks for helping me identify exactly why. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN MY PURSE ALREADY!

Mary Widdicks 2 years ago

Absolutely hilarious…and I don’t even work in an office.

Jennifer Harrison O’Neil 2 years ago

#9! (except it wouldn’t work here anymore. Much Jr becomes NickMom at 7pm)

Mary Beth Hall Bernheisel 2 years ago

When someone complains odd a stomachache and you ask if they need to poop

Marleen Waldron 2 years ago

#7 saddens me. As a parent minimizing time spent at daycare is a priority. Kids deserve time at home with their parents- no matter how late daycare is open.

Miranda Schaab 2 years ago

Amen to #7 (and 8). :-)

Shari Hecker Sanders 2 years ago

#3, #7 and #10!

Leslie Richardson 2 years ago

Yes 7 &8!

Ami Chris Hull 2 years ago

Oh how I miss the office…

SarahG | Semi-urban Mom 2 years ago

Ha! True… Also:
– I have to resist the urge to ask everyone if they’ve gone pee before heading into a long meeting.
– Due to getting-out-the-door-crazies, I’m generally not sure if my work clothes are 100% clean and pressed until I actually get to work. They generally aren’t 100% clean and pressed but, meh.
– I’ve given up trying to look presentable and have settled on ‘acceptable’.
– You listen wistfully to co-workers about their weekend plans, knowing yours will involve kids’ birthday parties and getting to bed by 10 pm (if you’re lucky).

    Sandy 2 years ago

    Lmao! Your comment SaraG had me dying of laughter because I can relate 100%!!
    Not to mention going to work gives you some privacy in the bathroom-no one barges in on you.

    Lynn @ Nomad Mom Diary 2 years ago

    omg, the clean clothing. I wanted to go there but had to stop myself because it is too depressing. I secretly cheer when one of my coworkers spills something because for once, I won’t be the only messy person in the office.

Celia Mendoza 2 years ago

this is a perfect description with whati deal with 99.999 of the time

Maura Brady 2 years ago

#7 and 8 definitely. Regarding #9, If I’m privy to another conversation on Scandal or Game of Thrones that I can’t contribute to due to lack of time to view awesome shows like these I think I’ll scream!

Linda 2 years ago

When I pull open my cabinet drawer and there’s a case of 5 hour energy on top!

Jill Grabowski 2 years ago

#10 Makes me super happy! :)

Amanda Hood 2 years ago

7 & 8…my daycare is 6:30 pm lol

Carolyn Rose 2 years ago

#5, I’ve called my kids by our pet’s names and called clients by kids names. It’s pretty normal. :)

Kerry 2 years ago

When I get home after work it takes about 5 minutes to wish I could go back

“This is why we can’t have nice things!” Is said at work as well as home :/

Sarah 2 years ago

Something in your bag hits the “on” button on your breastpump while riding on the elevator at work.

Camille 2 years ago

My daughter gets so mad at me because her name is Kelty, and so, so, so, many times she gets called Kara who is my cousin who is 2 tears younger than me. Forget immediate family members I go for extended ones to. Lol

Rose Geiger Rose 2 years ago

I can relate to #7

Mary Nguyen 2 years ago

Lol I love Mondays now!

Dianne 2 years ago

You are the only one who knows exactly what will take ink, food, soda or any other disaster out of your co-workers’ new or favorite shirt.

Meg 2 years ago

I used to poke fun at my Dad because he could never get my sister’s and my name correct. Now I can’t seem to get anyone’s name right.

Grace Ditro 2 years ago

Love the ‘going to work for peace & quiet’!! lol! We work with psychiatric patients. It can be extremely taxing on my coworkers ..after running a household for a husband & 2 kids it’s a piece of cake for me!! Bring it on! Haha!!

Brianne De Leon 2 years ago

I like #4! Talking a toddler down from a tantrum is definitely crisis management!

Donna 2 years ago

You refer to the restroom as the “potty”.

Andi Graham 2 years ago

They should’ve added finding pacifiers and bottles in your pockets or pocketbook while at work.

I use to arrive at work in the morning feeling like I’d ran a marathon, I’d go straight to my office and hug my desk (MY desk…nobody else’s!!!) and I’d sit there and stare at the wall in silence as long as I could til I had to start doing something. I loved work then.

Lisa Capano Wehrle 2 years ago

#7 is totally true!

Astra Groskaufmanis 2 years ago

Someone I know told her assistant once to go get something, ‘quick, quick, like a bunny!’ She has never lived it down :)

Kelly Collins 2 years ago

Hahaha #6 & #9, only mine is wrestling 😉

Amanda Henning 2 years ago

#9!!!

Deborah Fredell 2 years ago

I’ll add, when you need to use the restroom, you announce it “I’m going potty”. If the department are your kids, they are going to wonder where you’re at. HAHAHA!

Heather Pantera Stevens 2 years ago

2, 4, 5, & 9…

Bulletproof Mom 2 years ago

Ha! I work from home and still do this all the time. My office looks like a children’s jungle gym. Love it :)

Jess P 2 years ago

Love this! I really puts me at ease knowing ppl can relate :) Especially love the throwing out 15 names before you actually get the one you want! My siblings and I were all ‘J’ names growing up, and my father was notorious for going through all of us before saying ‘whoever you are, you better get over here!’

Mindy Rao 2 years ago

When you’re a teacher and a mom, there is no peace and quiet time. Except planning time, which I cherish.

D 2 years ago

The part about looking forward to go to the office on Monday for peace and quiet is so true. I find work so much more relaxing after having a baby. I sometimes just sit at my desk with the ear buds in without any music so that a) no one talks to me and b) I can enjoy the silence.

Lynn @ Nomad Mom Diary 2 years ago

I’m so excited that the post is live. This is one of the first times I’m talking about what it is like being the mom in the office. I really hope you guys like it!

    Christine Burke 2 years ago

    I don’t work in an actual office but I can attest to looking forward to the door slam on Monday mornings at 730 am! Quiet and peace so I can write!

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