Mom’s post about feeling invisible after kids is way too relatable
There is no way to prepare for motherhood. Sure, you can read some parenting books, register for all the items you think you need, and baby-proof your house, but there are some things you simply can’t prepare for. They’re things that no one else can prepare you for, either.
“Soon after my son was born I felt like I became invisible,” begins a post written by Anastasia Aligiannis. Anastasia is a mom, who like many of us, started to feel invisible after her children were born.
Soon after my son was born I felt like I became invisible.
One day I started wearing 1 earring. Now anyone that knows…
“One day I started wearing one earring,” she begins her post. “Now anyone that knows me would also know this isn’t something I would usually do, turns out that it took seven months for anyone to notice I was only wearing one earring.”
It may seem like a little thing, but is it? My mother, who called me religiously, year after year at 1 a.m. the morning of my birthday (it’s the time I was born), forgot for the first time the year my son was born. And these kinds of things happen to mothers all the time. No one means any harm — but we immediately begin to take a backseat to our children.
“Seven months worth of social interactions, and no one ever looked me square in the face and noticed,” Anastasia writes. “It sort of cemented to me that as mum of then two children under two who was always out and about, who ‘just stayed at home’ or ‘didn’t work’ I had just about become invisible; not just to society (who may not notice or be curious why just one earring), but to my family, to my friends and really maybe if I am truly honest even to myself.”
Motherhood is all-consuming. Between the constant hamster wheel of just trying to get everything done, and our completely new roles, it’s easy to lose ourselves. And god forbid we point it out or complain about it — then we’re “martyrs,” right?
“Often my phone conversations (when and if I managed to have them) with family and friends would be ‘how are the children? How is the husband?’ with our conversation then taking its natural flow of where it was going. Very rarely did anyone ask how I was,” she writes. “When I think about it now my guess would be everyone probably just figured if the people it was my responsibility to care for were okay, then I must be.”
Raise your hand if you’ve been there.
It’s okay to want to be noticed again. It’s okay to be a woman, apart from your role as mother. This post is so important, because it reminds us how easily our needs and very existence can slip into the background.
“We have to let the thread that unites us as mothers be strong enough to be the rope that catches us when we are falling. So, this post is to say that if today you are feeling overwhelmed, invisible or like you don’t matter, you really do.
“You are so important, and are probably the cog that keeps everything running smoothly.”
Yes, moms. You are valuable. Let these wise words from a fellow mother remind you of that. You’re not invisible. You’re here — and you matter, too.