01 · 24 · 2012

Mommy Gone Crazy

I ran into an acquaintance at school the other day. Barely slowing down our respective paces in the hallway, she quickly noted, “the book’s coming out soon — excited!?”

“Yes!” I’m sure she expected to hear. “I’m super excited,” as we each made our way towards the parking lot. Of course I would be excited about my upcoming book release. What else would I possibly be feeling? It was the equivalent of asking “how are you” and anticipating a “fine” in response. Practically obligatory.

Unfortunately for this acquaintance, I’m a bit of an over-sharer. And also, a bit of a mess.

“Excited? Um, I wouldn’t say that’s the word, exactly” I began, dropping my bag onto the ground.

“Actually,” I sighed, I’m totally freaking out.”

“I mean, what if the book doesn’t sell? I put so much of myself into it, what if people don’t relate? What if nobody wants to help spread the word? What if the critics tear it apart? What if my publisher is disappointed with the sales? What if I make a fool of myself when I’m promoting it? What if I get stage fright at a reading?”

I took a breath.

“I know, I know, it’s great to just have written a book and I should just appreciate that and enjoy the ride. Who cares if it doesn’t do well? I’ll survive, right? I know. But I can’t enjoy it. I don’t know why I can’t, but I can’t.”

I sighed and leaned against the wall for support.

“I am excited, I guess, but there are just so many other emotions, too. I’m just not used to this kind of pressure, you know? I’m not normally accountable like this and I don’t think it’s good for me. It’s scary. I mean—”

“Ah! Hold on a sec,” the acquaintance interrupted me as she fumbled for her completely silent phone.

“I think I heard this ring and it must be important. Oh, it is. Very important. Good luck!”

She bolted off without looking back, whispering to an imaginary friend about an imaginary emergency that took her away from a very real crazy person. I haven’t seen her since and I’m pretty sure she switched pre-schools just to avoid another potential run-in with me. Can’t say I blame her at all.

The moral of the story is: Don’t ask how I’m feeling about the book unless you really want to know the answer. And, you don’t. Trust me.

My mom, who is as anti-medication as one can possibly get, has begun practically ramming Xanax down my throat.

My agent gets frequent frantic 3AM e-mails from me as I lie awake at night, my mind racing with things which would never dawn on me at normal hours.

My husband is about ready to move into the unfinished, mouse-infested, pipe-exposed basement for the next three months just to not have to interact with me.

My friends have suddenly gone missing.

So, I’m turning to you, my dear readers. For my sanity, for my fingernails, for my marriage — hell, FOR THE CHILDREN — won’t you buy a book? (here) If you already have, or if you really want to make my day, will you consider sharing it with your friends?

I’m not too cool to admit that I am stalking the pre-sale numbers somewhat obsessively. Alright, completely obsessively. Basically, each book purchase is like a tiny sanity pill for me to pop. That makes the ten dollar purchase practically a medical deduction for you, and ensures a less crazy Jill for the three months to come.

I think it’s best for all of us. I’m much better at scary than crazy.

.

Because I am so crazy, I’ve come up with some goodies for you if you order the book… 

.

• If you pre-order the book before March 31, you are eligible for a hand-signed, limited edition bookplate and bookmark. (If you’ve already ordered the book, you’re eligible, too!) Just fill out this doc and expect your bookplate/bookmark in approximately eight weeks.

• If you pre-order ten books for your book club (or group of friends or whatever) before March 31, you’ll get a Scary Mommy Book Club Pack. Included in the pack: 10 bookmarks, recipe cards for the Scary Mommy signature cocktail and dessert, 10 signed bookplates, 10 copies of the Scary Mommy Manifesto, 5 Scary Mommy cupcake toppers, and The Scary Mommy Confessions game.

{E-mail your receipt or screen shot of your order confirmation to confessionsofascarymommy@gmail.com}

• If you pre-order 30 books before March 31, you’ll receive a Scary Mommy Party Pack. Use the pack for a kick ass baby shower, birthday party or girls night out. The party basket includes: The Scary Mommy Confessions game, 30 Scary Mommy cupcake toppers, 30 cupcake cups, recipe cards for the Scary Mommy signature cocktail and dessert, a Scary Mommy onsie, 30 signed bookplates, a shopping list of everything else you’ll need for the party, and a CD containing a downloadable invitation, door sign, place-cards and more. It’s the party I want to throw every single weekend and I think you’ll love it.

{E-mail your receipt or screen  shot of your order confirmation to confessionsofascarymommy@gmail.com}

{ 164 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Jenn January 24, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Haha, I plan on going to purchase a Sanity Pill. I mean your book. Good luck, I’m sure it’s going to be awesomely successful!
Jenn recently posted..I Bear Witness (an exercise in personification)

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2 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Oh, I hope. Thank you!!!

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3 Tracy January 24, 2012 at 1:07 pm

I can see no reason why your book wouldn’t do well! And I’m an expert*.
But totally get how you would feel so anxious about it. I freak out and start sweating when I have to talk to a cashier about not wanting a credit card for their store, so, you know…

Wishing you the very best of luck with pre-sales and beyond!

*in my own domain – which I am master of.
Tracy recently posted..Our little Tom Sawyer

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4 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:41 pm

I am choosing to ignore the last part of that comment. You ARE an expert, dammit.

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5 Jennifer January 24, 2012 at 1:11 pm

*breath* you will be aWeSome!
btw, totally loved this scene, I do that to my acquaintances all the time. My philosophy is they opened the conversation…they must deal with the too much information that is about to come their way!! fake cell phone call…Ha what a whimp!

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6 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Seriously. She could have at least feigned a heart attack or something.

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7 Alexis January 24, 2012 at 1:12 pm

well, at least you have an excuse! I over share every day at pick up- to everyone! teachers, other moms, and postal workers all get the full details of my life. And I don’t have a book coming out.

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8 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Well, I happen to have a book coming out, but I always do overshare.

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9 Jamie January 24, 2012 at 1:12 pm

It’s going to be a best seller, I know it. And I’ll tell my friends. Even though I liked you as my secret. :)

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10 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:44 pm

No! No secrets here!

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11 Vinobaby January 24, 2012 at 1:13 pm

It’s too early to stalk the pre-sale numbers. I’m not gonna bother to tell you to relax (like that’s gonna happen). Drink some wine. Sneak a zanax. Savor this time like a newborn with colic.

I vote the book is going to do GREAT and will be the Mother’s Day gift to get & give. (And I’ve read it, so I am allowed to talk.) I loved it. And I’m buying some as gifts for everyone. Well, not for my MIL. She’d toss it down at the first ‘fuck.’ She’s a mutant who doesn’t understand how to laugh anyway.

It’s all going to be okay. And until then, there’s wine. Cheers to you.
Vinobaby recently posted..Nike Ads & New Atitude

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12 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Wine and Xanax are a magical combination.

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13 Lin January 24, 2012 at 1:15 pm

It’s perfectly normal to be this freaked out about it. Not that I’m saying I’ve been there, because I’ve never written a book but whatever. Also, I haven’t bought it yet, but I plan on it :)
Lin recently posted..Ten On Tuesday

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14 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Now that’s you’ve written that out, you HAVE to. :)

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15 Arnebya January 24, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Tequila solves everything, you know. Up at 3 a.m.? Have a friendly chat with Mr. Cuervo. Talking too much to people who didn’t know what they’d bargained for? Jose to the rescue (you should get a flask). Pre-sale number page won’t reload after you just looked at it 10 seconds ago? Jose loves you. He understands. But then, you’ll be crazy and drunk and scary is so much better.

I think it will be just what mothers need, especially new mothers to know the TRUTH about what we all experience. My multiple orders will say so.
Arnebya recently posted..Writer’s Workshop: No Butt Marks

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16 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:49 pm

You’re awesome. :)

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17 Helene January 24, 2012 at 1:21 pm

I’d be reacting the same exact way if it’s any consolation. Totally understandable.

But no worries….you have a HUGE fan base and you are so relatable. I have a feeling many many women will be giving this book to their friends as a Mother’s Day gift (b/c most of our husbands suck at giving good gifts).

Congratulations!!
Helene recently posted..A day in the life of a 4-year old…

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18 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:49 pm

I hope so— that’s why we timed it that way. Fingers crossed.

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19 Mom January 24, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Clogging all my social networking as we speak with your book!

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20 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:50 pm

You are SUCH a social media maven.

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21 jenna mccarthy January 24, 2012 at 1:31 pm

OF COURSE it’s normal to be a total freak-show right now. Sort of how you were (okay I was) when you had your (my) first kid. (Me to hospital nurse: “Wait a minute, you’re letting me take this thing home? ALREADY? She’s like 26 hours old and I actually know less than nothing about taking care of a newborn…”) This is your first baby and you’re thrusting her out into the world and GODDAMN IT the world better be nice to her. And it probably will be, but that doesn’t really matter. Because you’re going to keep having baby-books and you’ll learn something BRILLIANT AND INSPIRED from every last birthing experience and even if someone said to you later “you can go back in time and un-do this” you’ll say NO FUCKING THANK YOU. I pinkie-promise you. :) Keep calm and carry on (and have a margarita sooner than later).

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22 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Oh, bless you. I DEFINITELY learned a shitload this round. Hopefully I’ll be able to put it to use someday!

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23 Jen January 24, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Jill,

Your book is going to be amazing because you are amazing. If it’s anything like this site, people will fall all over themselves to buy it. I know that I can’t wait to read it.
Jen recently posted..It’s Called Discipline… Use it!

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24 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:52 pm

I can’t wait FOR you to. :)

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25 rubyxtiara January 24, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Hi, Jill!

Your blog is hysterical, and your posts really cheer me up and help me to see the humor in motherhood. I will definitely be downloading your book onto my Kindle!!!

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26 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:52 pm

YAY!!! Thanks!!!

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27 Seriously Sassy Mama January 24, 2012 at 1:47 pm

I think you are flippin hilarious, and your book comes out two days before my birthday. It is going to be a gift to me by me! I cannot wait to read it!
Seriously Sassy Mama recently posted..Random 365…#19

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28 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Those are the best kinds of gifts!

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29 Kim January 24, 2012 at 1:48 pm

I am dying to read it!!!!

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30 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Oh, I hope it’s worth it. :)

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31 Tragic Sandwich January 24, 2012 at 1:54 pm

I don’t know, your feelings make perfect sense to me. And I have just pre-purchased the Kindle edition, which I am realizing means that if I ever meet you in person, means you will only be able to autograph my iPod Touch. That seems impractical.

But I couldn’t resist because (a) I love your blog, and (b) your book comes out 10 days before Baguette turns two.
Tragic Sandwich recently posted..Ham and Beans

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32 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:57 pm

What? You don’t want my handwriting all over your electronics? What’s wrong with you?

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33 Megan January 24, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Its hard to put so much work into something and have to wait to see if anyone cares about your work enough. We are all so proud of you, and I would take freaked out emails any day.
Megan recently posted..Yellow and Grey

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34 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Noted. :) And, THANK YOU!

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35 Pam January 24, 2012 at 2:05 pm

I would feel the same way! I bought 3. :)

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36 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:57 pm

thank you, thank you, thank you!!

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37 OHmommy January 24, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Awww….. Jill. Any moral person would be having similar questions. You are human. I wished I lived closer cause I would love to convince you that everything will be more than awesome. I’m w/in a 1/2 day drive of you so if you have a grand anything, please send me an invite. I could use some time away from my own chaos and would love to support a friend. In the meantime, I’m off to buy a couple of books.

xx
Pauline
OHmommy recently posted..What modifications can achieve!

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38 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Oh, I wish you lived closer, too. And, I will definitely keep you posted!! Would LOVE to see you!

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39 OHmommy January 24, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Spell check changed NORMAL to MORAL. Grrr… I hate my phone.
OHmommy recently posted..What modifications can achieve!

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40 kysmommy January 24, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Jill we all love you. To death. Or to hell and back, whichever comes first. We are all buying your book because you are simply A- mazing. Not to mention if any of the other SMs are like me, your book has been shoved down the unsuspecting throats of other mommies :-)

You are incredible, and if you ever go completely sane, well you’ll make us all look all the more crazy!!!!! We believe in you, and we KNOW your book will be incredible and you’ll end up on Live! With Kelly one day!!!

You go Momma!!!!!

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41 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Can I hire you to give me a pep talk every morning? That was awesome.

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42 Jennifer January 24, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Mine has already been purchased. My Nook is just waiting for it to download.
Jennifer recently posted..No More “Followers”, #SOSubscribers

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43 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:59 pm

YAY!!

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44 Mia January 24, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Done! It’s going to do great– I just know it!!!

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45 Colleen January 24, 2012 at 4:14 pm

I am due to have my first baby in March. I have found myself waking up in the middle of the night with questions like “What if my baby is missing parts? Or comes out with 7 extra fingers? What if he is a little asshole? What if I forget him somewhere?..”

I am sure that you would tell me this is entirely normal and that everyone has irrational concerns. How could I NOT think these things? Well, I would say the same to you about your newest edition.

You have not only had three kids, but you are now having a fourth, in literary form. It is inspirational.

Once I found out I was pregnant, I started poking around the internet for honest words from other moms. Your voice is the most genuine and reassuring one I have found.

I have pre-ordered your book. When it arrives, I will have just had my little guy. I know that reading your book will bring me comfort and laughter. I can’t wait!

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46 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 6:00 pm

That is so nice to hear, thank you. And, the baby WILL be an asshole, but you’ll love him anyway.

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47 lynn @ Maven of Savin' January 24, 2012 at 4:23 pm

JILLLL!!!! RELAX!!!! You will do great no matter what. YOU ROCK and will be successful – so stop being so hard on yourself. BREATH, relax and enjoy. Not everyone gets published, so be PROUD!
lynn @ Maven of Savin’ recently posted..FREE Schick Hydro Razor – maybe??

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48 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 6:00 pm

OK, OK, OK. Deep breath.

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49 Lauren January 24, 2012 at 4:31 pm

I pre ordered and posted it on FB. you’ll do fine!

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50 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 6:01 pm

Thank you SO much!

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51 Jillian January 24, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Soooo… my plan is this, and I hope other mums will follow suit. I plan to order several copies. As much as I think these would be cool for mums day, I will really enjoy handing these puppies over to the soon to be’s at baby showers. Mwahahaha!

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52 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Best plan EVER.

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53 Pauline January 24, 2012 at 4:41 pm

So…how do you feel about your upcoming book release? And yes, I really want to know. Congrats, rooting for you, and can’t wait to read the book.

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54 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 6:08 pm

After reading these? Better. :)

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55 Motherhood on the Rocks January 24, 2012 at 4:44 pm

I’m looking forward to reading it!

And I’m sure it will do great!
Motherhood on the Rocks recently posted..I OWE MY MOTHER AN APOLOGY

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56 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Thanks! Hope you like it!!!

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57 Kim at Let Me Start By Saying January 24, 2012 at 4:45 pm

It. Will. Sell.
Trust me. Now listen to your mom and take a Xanax.
Kim at Let Me Start By Saying recently posted..9 Reasons It’s Hard to be a Fashionista Mom

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58 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Oh, I’ve been listening. As usual, she was right.

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59 Kim at Let Me Start By Saying January 25, 2012 at 6:13 pm

I’m pretty excited for you. I genuinely believe you’ll do well with this. Really.
Kim at Let Me Start By Saying recently posted..9 Reasons It’s Hard to be a Fashionista Mom

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60 Julia's Child / Sarah January 24, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Oh my God! You’ve turned into me. But I’m at T-7 days until launch, and therefore will regain my sanity before you do. I’ll mail you my extra Xanax.

Love,
S.P.
Julia’s Child / Sarah recently posted..Can Crunchy Laugh at Itself? Yes, Yes It Can

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61 Scary Mommy January 24, 2012 at 9:27 pm

7 days? I am so jealous. Please let me know in a few weeks that you’ve survived. GOOD LUCK!!!!

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62 Zee January 24, 2012 at 5:06 pm

My birthday is in April. I have it on pre-order with Amazon. You’ll do just fine x

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63 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 12:40 pm

YAY! Thanks so much. :)

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64 Leigh Ann January 24, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Getting a book deal is a HUGE accomplishment, and getting it done is even more huge! You’re gonna rock it, I know.
Leigh Ann recently posted..On the separation issue

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65 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 12:42 pm

I hope so. I just wish I were more of an enjoy the ride type person.

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66 Nikki January 24, 2012 at 5:44 pm

I feel fucking crazy and I’ve only fantasized about writing a book. Just pre-ordered a book. It better be good… Lol jk I’m sure it’s amazing. I love your blog. I love how you make my day just a little bit easier to handle after I read a post from you. My husband thanks you too.

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67 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 12:42 pm

That’s such a nice thing to say, thanks!!

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68 Natalie Jenkins January 24, 2012 at 6:05 pm

I discovered you just a couple of months ago but I will tell you this. I love you! I have told every mother I know about you and even some who aren’t mothers who think I’m crazy. I can’t wait to read your book and I assure you it is gonna be awesome! I’m so glad I found some other mother out in the world that feels as nuts as I do some days. All the “normal” moms on here are inspiring! Can’t wait to get my hands on that book :)

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69 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 12:44 pm

THANK YOU!!!!!

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70 Elizabeth January 24, 2012 at 6:18 pm

I preordered your book when you first posted about it. I am sure it will be great and I will want to gift copies to my friends. Deep breathes :-)

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71 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Oh, I hope you like it. Thanks so much!!

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72 Jana@AnAttitudeAdjustment January 24, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Well, I love you Scary Mommy, and for you, anything!
Jana@AnAttitudeAdjustment recently posted..The Good in January

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73 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 1:09 pm

MWAH!!

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74 Priscilla- the wheelchair mommy January 24, 2012 at 6:34 pm

You rock what you do. I have no doubts your going to Rock this. You are coming to Austin for a reading, right?
Priscilla- the wheelchair mommy recently posted..Coming home

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75 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 1:10 pm

I’m trying to convince them to send me all over and they’re hesitant. We’re going to start with the east coast and see how it goes. Plus, look a pre-sales and see where people are buying. So… I hope!!

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76 mamaBee January 24, 2012 at 6:56 pm

I just got my galley copy that I won thru facebook, and have only read the first two chapters, but I’ve already got a list of people who I want to buy this book for. Its amazing. I’m trying not to laugh and cry simultaneously through the whole thing but so far that’s not possible!! It will sell. I will buy more! Going to leave a review on amazon once I’m finished with the book.
Much love! ~ Bee

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77 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 1:10 pm

I am SO happy to hear that. My heart was beating so fast as I sent those all off.

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78 Alison@Mama Wants This January 24, 2012 at 6:57 pm

You will totally be okay. I know, that sounds pretty empty right now, but your readers? Are crazy about you, they’ll come through with the book purchase!
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Guest Star: Tonya of Letters For Lucas

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79 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 1:11 pm

I do have the best people on earth here, somehow. :)

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80 a Book for My Daughter January 24, 2012 at 8:46 pm

I have friends that don’t even read blogs or follow bloggers, and they read yours. You are brilliant—and your book will be, too. Don’t doubt yourself—PLUS your insanely engaged network of followers will be promoting the shit out of it! I can’t wait to read it!
a Book for My Daughter recently posted..Confronting a Bully

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81 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 1:12 pm

I hope, I hope, I hope!!!!

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82 Megan January 24, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Dude! Relax! We will absolutely support you in this, you KNOW THIS! I’ve just pre-ordered the Kindle version. It will be delivered to my Kindle on April 3rd. YAY!

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83 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 1:12 pm

I told you, I’ve lost my mind. :) And, yay– thanks for ordering!!!!

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84 Meredith January 24, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Already pre-ordered from Amazon. I am so wishing good things for you!!
Meredith recently posted..6 Things that make my eye twitch.

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85 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 1:13 pm

THANK YOU!!!

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86 Galit Breen January 24, 2012 at 10:21 pm

You? Are going to kick total and complete butt here.

{For sure}
Galit Breen recently posted..Once Upon A Time

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87 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 1:13 pm

I do like to kick butt. But, I prefer to say ass. ;)

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88 heather January 24, 2012 at 10:26 pm

i’m sorry you got blown off! that sucks. i hate it when people do that to me. i try not to do it to other people. i generally will stop what i’m doing, and say ” i have 10 minutes before i have to do X thing, but i really want to talk to you. then i’ll be free at Xtime, tomorrow.” and i do make that time. and i talk. or listen. it’s probably because you are reaching so far above what that person can relate to that they don’t know how to respond, or just have their own personal shit going on.
luckily for you—you are so talented that you didn’t just create followers, you created your own support group. you know we would like the opportunity to help you, the same way you have helped us, right? because……i’ll tell ya right now, if i had not found ScaryMommy.com i would be in a small room wearing something orange and filthy faking insanity to get a better plea deal.

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89 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 1:14 pm

It was my fault! And, I am so glad the site saved you from a padded cell. Although, the privacy does sound kind of nice.

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90 Nic Trick Steinbach January 25, 2012 at 12:03 am

Does it help if the pre-order is in another country? Maybe count a double? I’ve got cha in Germany!
Nic Trick Steinbach recently posted..Dancing Queens

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91 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 1:17 pm

It’s worth a shot!

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92 Esmeralda January 25, 2012 at 12:36 am

i cant wait to get the book….im gonna have to work it in my Micro, A&P 2, Hot Zone(book report) but i will read this!! Is a mommy must :) I’m sure everything will be fine…good luck!! im excited for this book :)

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93 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 1:19 pm

thanks!!!!

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94 Practical Parenting January 25, 2012 at 1:15 am

I could give you the obligatory “you will do great!” (which you will), but I’m a therapist…so I get it. You won’t sleep for three months and you will stalk the numbers…possibly forever. But at the end of the day? You put so much of yourself into it. You worked hard. And you accomplished a huge goal. And when he real promotional madness starts? You will pour a glass and toast a job well done. Just survive, Jill. All you have to do is survive ;)
Practical Parenting recently posted..6 Steps for Building Self-Esteem

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95 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Oh, you are SO my kind of therapist. Yes… survival, that’s where it’s at.

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96 Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes January 25, 2012 at 2:25 am

Normally I don’t pre-order, but for you I’ll make an exception. Just so you can get some sleep. And also because I’m sure it will be sold out the minute it hits the stores.
Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes recently posted..Croque Monsieur with sardines inspired by Jeroen Meus

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97 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:17 pm

You know what’s funny, after all of my craziness, I have never pre-ordered a book, myself. Thank you for making me the exception!

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98 Lynn from For Love or Funny January 25, 2012 at 6:22 am

Your book is going to do great, Jill!! I promise!
Lynn from For Love or Funny recently posted..I’m not a sex addict. Or a nudist.

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99 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:19 pm

I want that in blood.

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100 Headacheslayer January 25, 2012 at 7:45 am

Breathe.

If I say it’s good, it’s good, right? I mean I AM THE SLAYER. lol

Seriously I think you’re going to be a huge hit–so don’t forget us little mommies ;)
Headacheslayer recently posted..Welcome to The Crafty Angel!

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101 Headacheslayer January 25, 2012 at 7:46 am

Ack hit send too soon…

I will be buying this for my sister for her birthday (It’s not until July but I’ll buy it asap, ok?)

LOVE YOU!!! xoxo
Headacheslayer recently posted..Welcome to The Crafty Angel!

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102 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:20 pm

You were one of the first to have it in your hands– I could never forget that!!!

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103 Headacheslayer January 25, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Squee for me :)))) And every day I see my Scary Mommy candy, take one and think “Thanks Jill!”

You’re going to rock. You know, I think this is like the super duper version of your first child’s first birthday. You are SO WOUND UP that you miss all the fun and joy and then wonder what happened.

So slow down, enjoy this amazing time, revel in it, soak up every drop of joy you deserve. You are doing something that many people only dream of doing.

Brava, my dear. YOU are an inspiration.
Headacheslayer recently posted..Welcome to The Crafty Angel!

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104 Denise January 25, 2012 at 8:40 am

Jill — You may already be “acquainted” through the blog world; if not, you should “meet” thebloggess.com. She’s as hysterical and neurotic as the rest of us, and is also releasing a book in March or April. Take comfort, the rest of your Scary Mommy friends are nuts, too (meaning, I would totally be frantic at 3 a.m., and driving everyone I know to the brink!)! =) xoxo

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105 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Oh, yes, I know her. She’s hysterical. Not so much as her numbers kick mine, though. (Told you: me = CRAZY.) :)

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106 Kisha January 25, 2012 at 8:52 am

You are excited… You just show it a little differently!
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107 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:25 pm

That’s true. :)

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108 humanmama January 25, 2012 at 9:23 am

WHAA? Listen, it’s natural to feel nervous, but is it gonna help anyone to worry so much? Nope. How about this: who CARES if it doesn’t sell? I’ll buy it. Your fans will buy it. And if no one else does…just think, “I PUBLISHED A BOOK.” There are about 10,000 readers on here who’d like to do the same, whether it sells or not. Deep breaths. And good luck for real.
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109 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:26 pm

THAT is what I need to remember. I should print out your comment and paste it on my mirror.

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110 Vanessa Jubis January 25, 2012 at 9:59 am

Hi Jill!

I’d be the same way! ‘Worry wart’ is listed in fine print of my Mommy’clause’.
Ok, so I shared this post on my FB page ;)

Scary Mommy’s new book will BE fabulous. Nothing less ;)

Vanessa
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111 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:28 pm

THANK YOU!!!!

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112 Megan (Best of Fates) January 25, 2012 at 10:03 am

I pre-ordered when it first made your header, so I’ve bought my requisite pill! And you shouldn’t be so worried – you know you’re fabulous, your book is going to be a wonderful success.

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113 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:28 pm

There was that one day a few weeks ago where I wasn’t a wreck. Must have been yours!

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114 Marie January 25, 2012 at 10:22 am

Judging from the comments, you’ll have plenty of sales. 99% of things we worry about never happen, so take a deep breath and have a nap. Naps are the best.

You’ll have to excuse me, I’m off to pre-order your book.

MM
Marie recently posted..He Knows, She Knows

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115 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Naps really are magical. I should start carving out some time for those.

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116 Alex January 25, 2012 at 10:58 am

Overshareers of the world UNITE!

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117 Johanna January 25, 2012 at 12:34 pm

You’ll be fine!! People will buy it because they love you AND you’ve worked very hard to develop the built-in audience that got you the book deal in the first place.

That being said, I understand how none of it seems like enough and I’m not pre-ordering unless you guarantee me an autographed copy :) Then, I will happily pre-order!
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118 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:31 pm

I guarantee you an autographed copy. We’ll work out the logistics later!!

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119 Aimee @ Ain't Yo Mama's Blog January 25, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Woohoo! Ordered! I’m so excited for you Jill. It’s going to be a huge success, for sure. Now you need to start thinking about who will play you in the movie, right?!? :)

Mazel!
-Aimee
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120 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 5:32 pm

My life is WAY too boring to be a movie! (But, I think Drew Barrymore could do it. Not that I’ve thought about it or anything.) :)

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121 Nancy Davis Kho January 25, 2012 at 2:18 pm

I’m glad you sent this – the book’s been in my shopping cart on Amazon and I was waiting to add something else for my kid’s school project – we’ll do it tonight, and hopefully your shoulders will unhinge by at least one millimeter.
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122 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Oh, they did– it was totally you. THANKS!!

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123 ModParent January 27, 2012 at 11:57 pm

haha

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124 Kelly Sheridan January 25, 2012 at 4:08 pm

I pre-ordered 4 you silly woman. They’ll make great mother’s day gifts. Now stop worrying and smile, godammit! Cause you make me smile every day!

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125 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 6:10 pm

You’re the best– thank you!!!

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126 Kristin January 25, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Have you seen how many people read your blog? I don’t think you need to worry in the least about your book sales! But…I will order my copy! Keep popping the Xanax…it can’t hurt!

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127 Scary Mommy January 25, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Yes, but reading a blog for free is different than buying a book– it’s a lot to ask… But, thank you!!!

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128 Corine Ingrassia (@ComplicatedMama) January 25, 2012 at 9:09 pm

You know you have my support and sale! :)

Your book is going to do AMAZING- stop freaking out crazy lady!

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129 Scary Mommy January 26, 2012 at 1:54 am

I do know that. xox (about the support that is!)

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130 Steph January 26, 2012 at 12:13 am

just ordered your book. it is the least I could do after all the free entertainment you have given me!

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131 Scary Mommy January 26, 2012 at 1:54 am

thank you, thank you!!!!!

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132 Alexandra January 26, 2012 at 12:29 am

I am ordering it.

And I plan on bringing it with me to BlogHer 12 for you to sign, so I want you to be ready.

xo

Practice writing this:

To the most beautiful, intelligent, charming woman that I met in the whole year of 2011. Love, Scary Mommy
Alexandra recently posted..The Way I Escape

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133 Scary Mommy January 26, 2012 at 1:53 am

I will absolutely write that and it will not be a lie. You know I adore you. And, thank you.

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134 Alexandra January 26, 2012 at 12:30 am

P.S.

Just checking…are you alright?

Reality check here, because you DO see you have over 31,000 PEOPLE WHO LIKE YOU ON FACEBOOK, RIGHT?
Alexandra recently posted..The Way I Escape

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135 Scary Mommy January 26, 2012 at 1:54 am

LOL. Yes, but what if they are all imaginary?? Told you. Insane.

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136 Liz January 26, 2012 at 10:31 am

You are number 13 in the Motherhood books! (And two of those are the Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy) You’re beating Tori Spelling!!

As a former Baltimorean and fellow mom, I will TOTALLY be buying this book.

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137 Susie January 26, 2012 at 12:13 pm

How could people not buy this book?!?!? You’re a proven commodity given your national TV coverage (Thanksgiving anyone?) and your work with Target – that’s just since I started following you last year!!! I will be buying one for myself, my sister (who could use a dose of mommy-ality!), and even on for my 62 year old father!

Throw in a few Valium w/ your Xanax and it will be all good :-)

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138 Scary Mommy January 27, 2012 at 6:58 pm

I hope you’re right— and THANK YOU!!!

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139 Sabrina January 26, 2012 at 2:54 pm

You remind me so much of my friend, Angela. We are new writers both finishing our first novels and while I try not to think about those things I just cannot change, she is biting her nails to the quick and obsessing over little details.

Thanks for the smile. You are allowed to be crazy. I would encourage you to find a way to enjoy the experience though. Remember when you were writing the first book and hoping it would be published? You are there now. Isn’t that fabulous?!!

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140 Scary Mommy January 27, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Yes, it is. 10% of the time. :)

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141 Colleen McNeal January 26, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Are you serious? I am a fifty one year old mom/stepmom of four and believe me I have seen it all. You leave me laughing my ass off constantly. Can’t wait for the book. Well done.

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142 Shirley January 26, 2012 at 4:07 pm

I love your site, and yesterday I pre-ordered my book for my Kindle cannot wait. Also posted a link on facebook
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143 Scary Mommy January 27, 2012 at 6:59 pm

YAY! Thanks a ton!

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144 Jay January 26, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Planning on ordering it right now! Breathe, everything will be okay :)

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145 Jack@TheJackB January 26, 2012 at 10:21 pm

Scary and crazy are always a winning combination- the book will be fine and so will you.
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146 NoDramaMama January 27, 2012 at 9:02 am

I will totally buy your book! Chill out. People love you.
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147 Sarah C January 27, 2012 at 9:51 am

First, as a rule, people shouldn’t ask how you (or I) are doing at all unless they truly care about the response. There’s this guy at work that always asks how I am as he just keeps on walking. He NEVER really gives a shit what my answer is or how I am actually doing. It’s so rude. Just say “hi” then, if you really don;t care.

As for your book, it is totally normal to be this crazy over something you have poured your heart and soul into! Have no fear, you are (and are going to be) hugely successful! I am proud to know you even the small bit that I do, and tell every mom I know about your site and your book. In fact, I’ll post it on my FB wall if it helps alleviate some stress and generate a few more book sales for you!

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148 abnormalmommy January 27, 2012 at 11:40 am

Success is stressful, but so is everything else in life that is worth doing/having. So many of us moms relate to on a daily basis, you shouldn’t worry about that! Good luck…….and be excited!
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149 Tracy January 27, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Hey Jill,
Congrats! Just preordered. So proud of you. You’re hysterical – keep up the funniness. :)

Can’t wait to read it!

Tracy

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150 SoberJulie January 27, 2012 at 8:03 pm

Shut up sister, I’d be lying awake watching Maury Povich train wreck reruns counting the days!!!
You can ramble at me anytime, I’ll make popcorn and enjoy your torment.
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151 Hatton January 27, 2012 at 8:26 pm

My husband likes to tell me not to freak out about the “what ifs” … which I do all of the time. Just like no one likes to RSVP to a party until the day before, don’t judge the success of your book by pre-sales :) I can’t wait to read it!!!

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152 Regina January 28, 2012 at 7:29 am

I can totally relate to how you are feeling sister. I just submitted my first article to be published and am waiting for the response to see if they accept it. I worried all day yesterday it wasn’t good enough.

So I realized they will either like me or not. I’m still cool enough to be me. We’ll buy the book, breathe easy sister.

I don’t want you snorting Xanax.
xo
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153 Scary Mommy January 29, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Wait… you can SNORT Xanax?!?!? ;)

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154 Regina January 29, 2012 at 9:28 pm

I have no idea, but it wouldn’t surprise me if people did.
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155 Maria @amotherworld January 28, 2012 at 9:00 am

You will do fabulous!
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156 MomEinstein January 28, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Just pre-ordered for my kindle! I wish it were coming out sooner – I thought it was in Feb for some reason and now I’m bummed to wait until April. Super excited to read it! (The real kind of excited, not the excitement you’re dealing with the release right now.)
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157 Julie McGuire January 28, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Deep labor breaths! Which brings up a question… Is it more painful to give birth to a child or a book?

Pre-ordering your book now! Wish it was published sooner so I could read during spring break! Congrats on your success! You will do amazingly well!

Julie
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158 Carrie January 28, 2012 at 8:30 pm

I hate when I do that shit. And I hear myself oversharing and I say to myself (WHILE I’m talking to the bug-eyed, petrified listener) (cause I can multi-talk like that), “SHUT YOUR FACE FOOL! THEY DON’T CARE!”

But this ain’t about me. It’s about your book that will change the world.

I just know it will. Yes, it will.
Carrie recently posted..Please don’t think you can be a better me. You can’t. Hell, I can’t.

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159 Carrie January 28, 2012 at 9:01 pm

I just pimped you out on my Amazon widget on my blog. So, you’ll be showing up all day there.

It’ll be showing up sooner or later.

(I’ve never pimped before. This is kinda cool.)
Carrie recently posted..Please don’t think you can be a better me. You can’t. Hell, I can’t.

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160 Scary Mommy January 29, 2012 at 8:04 pm

Oh, I love your confidence in me. Thank you. :)

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161 Bella January 29, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Awww. Don’t be nervous! If I love your blog, I’m sure I’ll adore your book! Unfortunately, I can’t buy it right now because I have a 500 dollar heat bill. But rest assured Jill, if it wouldn’t mean freezing for the rest of the winter, I would buy it and love it. Hell, I love it now and I haven’t even read it.
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162 Elaine January 31, 2012 at 2:55 pm

I gotta get some copies for my girlfriends. They are gonna LOVE it!! :-)
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163 Autherine@BoysRising February 2, 2012 at 12:12 am

I will buy one for all my mommy friends. I will tweet/FB/ your book release and write a review on Amazon. I am sure that it will be awesome! No need to panic. Thanks for the laughs.
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164 NICOLE MARTEL February 6, 2012 at 11:18 am

Well I just ordered my copy :) I think it will be great… I love reading your blog post and it’s nice to know I’m not alone… with some of my thoughts and feelings about being a mommy and wife :)

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