To My Dearest Momma Friend – Scary Mommy

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To My Dearest Momma Friend

friendship in motherhood

Izabela Habur / iStock

To My Dearest Momma Friend,

We met during our first pregnancies, only months apart, glowing with hope and expectations and naïve as can be as to what lay ahead of us. We traded pleasantries and chitchat about the typical pregnancy topics and wished each other luck. Then, weeks later, we ran into each other at the grocery store and on a whim we traded cell phone numbers. Little did I know that five years and five kids between us would make you one of my dearest friends.

When I became a mom, my friend circle got smaller. It was hard to carry on friendships when my world had been flipped upside down and turned inside out. Being a new mom was a shockingly isolating experience, and I badly needed mom friends to connect with. Making new friends at that point in my life was no easy matter, but you were right there with me. I didn’t have to explain myself because you had the same exact dazed expression on your face—stuck somewhere between joy, shock, tears and complete insanity.

Those playdates in the park with our new babies were often the thing that helped me get through the day. We talked about cracked bleeding nipples, sleepless nights, and feeling like strangers in our own bodies. We gushed about how amazing our babies were because, of course, only a genius could roll over at just 6 months old. Before we knew it, our kids went from blobs of poop and spit-up to busy toddlers.

As our children have grown and parenting has become more challenging, you have helped me laugh off the bad days and shared the joy of the good ones. You listen to me brag on and on about all the fabulous things my kids are doing, and then when I call them “little shits” you don’t go all sanctimommy on me, because you know they rightfully earned the title. You are one of the few people happily willing to carry on a conversation interjected with pulling apart fighting children, toddler screams, and preschooler questions. We forget what we are talking about half the time, but that’s why I am glad you are always only a phone call away.

Do you remember that time I called you from inside the bathroom completely defeated because my child was having a full-on kick-the-door tantrum? Or that time when I just didn’t have it in me to get through dinner, bath and bedtime, and you fed and bathed my kids while I lay on your living room floor? And the time we planned girls’ night out, and I tried to bail on you because I was a frazzled, tired mess, but you dragged me out anyway because you knew I needed it? Thank you! You have been my saving grace more times than I care to admit.

You have been so many things to me: the single string that is holding together my sanity, my marriage therapist, my exercise and diet partner, my babysitter. You never judge me for the disastrous state of my house, and I don’t need to put on a bra when you come over. You would hold my child’s throw up in your hands without a second thought. I trust you with my children’s lives. That is what I call true friendship. You are my sister from another mother, soul mate, sister-wife, mother-in-arms, and I don’t know how I would survive this crazy thing called motherhood without you.

Love,
Your Barely Sane, Ever So Thankful Momma Friend