New movie theaters have jungle gyms for kids
A movie theater chain is Southern California is hoping to make movie-going even more fun for families, by building an in-theater playground. Because what’s more relaxing than taking your kids to the movies? Taking your kids to the movies and letting them crawl all over a makeshift jungle gym in the dark while you wonder if they’re still alive — all while
completely ignoring the film your family of four just paid $60 to watch.
— Los Angeles Times (@latimes) March 7, 2017
Two new Southern California movie theaters that are opening next week will be debuting the jungle-gym-in-theater concept. The movie theater chain Cinepolis is hoping to lure families back to the multiplex with the new idea. “It’s really intended to make kids feel welcome and comfortable,” Cinepolis USA Chief Executive Adrian Mijares Elizondo told the LA Times. “The whole idea is to make it easier for parents to take their kids to the movies and let the kids have more fun.”
“Even in the greatest movies, kids get restless and bored,” box-office analyst Paul Dergarabedian told the LA Times. “You might actually get more parents to come and bring their kids.” The LA Times reports the theaters will open early so “kids can climb on the plastic hippos and alligators in the faux-turf, fenced-in play space, and explore the slides and obstacle course on the side aisle.”
Admittedly, we’re all always looking for new ways to have family outings we can all enjoy. The atmosphere is undoubtedly more relaxed than that of a regular movie theater, so this could be a great option for children who have a very hard time staying in place for over an hour. But is the thought of a giant dark room with a jungle gym and a bunch of kids running around making anyone else twitch? No? Just me? Okay.
Honey, is that our popcorn or does it belong to that kid who’s holding it with snot dripping from his nose? Where are our seats? Shit. Sally is in the bubble at the end of the slide and she’s trapped. Hold on a sec. I have to shimmy past 10 people in this row to help her out. Why the hell did we come here, again? Huh? I can’t hear you, it’s so loud!
We already have a dark place where our kids climb all over stuff and don’t pay attention to the movie we put on. It’s called a living room. And it’s a heck of a lot cheaper than this option.
You know what parents would pay extra for in a theater? Someone to watch their kids while they enjoyed an adult movie in a theater for once. I haven’t seen an Oscar movie in a theater like a regular human being in six years. You know, just like one of those staffed playrooms at the gym, but at a movie theater instead. You’re welcome whoever I just made rich.
Make it happen.