The Multiple Personalities of a Tween Girl

The Multiple Personalities of a Tween Girl

I have a tween. A girl – the most savage of all tweenkind. My goal is to survive. Not win, just survive. When she turned 11 I thought, “I will be able to handle this. She’s only ONE little girl.” Now that she’s on the brink of 12, I realize she is not only one little girl. She is actually 7 multiple personalities ranging in age from 3 to 40…

1. The BFF Age: 35–40
This woman goes with me to get manicures, chats over lattes at Starbucks (always my treat), and goes out of her way to listen to my problems and help in any way possible. The BFF doesn’t come around very often but when she does you can hear the angels singing from above.

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2. The Sweetheart Age: 6
This is the sweetest, dearest little girl you will ever meet. She loves to snuggle and give kisses. She will climb up on the couch next to you on any given night just to tell you how much she loves you. She comes around even less than the BFF.

3. The Devil’s Twin Age: Unknown
This evil twin usually lurks around my house during late afternoon hours. She looks exactly like the BFF or the Sweetheart but when you speak to her burning acid shoots out of her mouth and does not stop until you flee the room, screaming profanities. Occasionally she rears her ugly head early in the morning so beware.

4. The Einstein/Miss Independent Age: 1120
This girl knows everything and can do everything herself. Everything. The easiest way to identify her is by her language. She only speaks two words, “I know.”

5. The Mature One Age: 1822
This is a young woman who knows how to handle herself. She tackles every chore with maturity. She does things without being asked. She engages in conversation with adults in a way that makes you consider admitting you are her parent. Unfortunately, she does not come around very often.

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6. The Baby Age: 35
Often confused with the Drama Queen, this child believes every single, itty, bitty, teeny, weeny injury is a near-death experience. She once asked to go to the emergency room because she bent her hair.

7. The Drama Queen Age: 1020
This girl is very similar to the Baby. However, she does not need to be injured to believe the world is ending. She only needs to be breathing. No clean jeans to wear? End of world. Can’t find her hairbrush? End of world. It’s Tuesday and she wants it to be Wednesday? End of world. Please note, the Drama Queen can instantly transform into the Devil’s Twin without any warning or notice.

That is everybody living in my daughter’s body. At least for today. I will be sure to let you know if anyone new moves in when she reaches the ripe old age of 12.

Lord help me.

Related post: 5 Tips For Raising a Tweenaged Daughter

About the writer

Abi blogs about all things creative, her DIY addiction, and random other bits of family life. Laugh along with her at


Lisa 2 months ago

I think this is great to observe and identify the personalities that come along, but it’s even better to understand where this comes from and talk to your girl about it so she understands what she is made of and what happens to her at each age. I call out bonkers behaviour every time. It also helps her to see when her friends are having emotional outbursts and phases and they can forgive each other etc. I think the key is to talk more than just tolerate. It’s a great time to teach your daughter what women are made of and the emotional complexities and hormones they will have to manage. Some day soon I will finish my program on Emotional Intelligence for youth. Wouldn’t it be great if our kids learned more about their emotions in schools?

Amanda 2 months ago

I think you left out the toddler if she doesn’t get her way the temper tantrums start and it may take hours to calm the beast.

Letetia 2 months ago

truestory Then at at 13 all of those personalities start to fade away and they will retaliate…often culminating in 1 big battle of power with the dominant parent. This is when one must not retreat but shock and awe with every piece of power that is your God given right as a parent…and when the dust settles…you should have the best of the personalities remain. At least that is what happened with the first one… still trying to survive this second one.

Spirit of Frank Fathers 2 months ago

It is clear that hormones are active in the bodies of these little girls, my daughter of 8 is already starting to bloom and needs to be reminded repeatedly that she needs to do something she already knows.

Seems to me that one day, I’ll have to deal with a similar situation with her mother once menopause visits our house.

Pretty much the same but much more complicated dramas

Pray for us Fathers and Husbands. Is there a support group for us… LOL Just kidding… At least there is always the door, for a quick escape to a place that’s quiet.

Jen 2 months ago


Mama 3 months ago

We also have the dad eater – No matter what dad says he is met with contempt and hostility, and sometimes disgust, to the point where dad is too afraid to even say hello! ‘

Also the ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) personality – No matter what you tell her to do she has a fit and will scream and slam doors and and tell you how unfair you are.

And One more – The poor me, life is so unfair personality – When no guidance you offer is accepted because (even though you have 20+ years more experience in exactly this situation) have no idea what she is going through. And regardless of listening to her complaints for the past half an hour, or hearing the same gripe for the past week “You just dont listen to me” gets used an awful lot when you cant fix her problem. (which usually involves money or a bit of actual hard work on her behalf)

As much as I try to enjoy her. sometimes it is just so hard. I will keep on my path though, support her, guide her, listen to her, be there for her when she needs me. And just keep trying. Its just another life stage, like the terrible twos. Its not forever. Just a kid finding herself in a confusing world.

Tonya 3 months ago

OMG you just described my 10 1/2 yr old to a TEE!! Lord help us all!!

Shannon 3 months ago

I think the teens and tweens are crazy. I saw at least 3 of the personalities when I asked my daughter to do the dishes. The sweet angel saw the dishes and did them without asking, that was in the morning. By the afternoon, she had dishes of her own in the sink. When I asked her to wash them, her head spun around and she began to speak in a demonic tongue. By the end of the night, she was so flustered from washing the two dishes she had, she began to tell me that I wasn’t fair and that I didn’t appreciate her. I work 40+ hours a week. I buy the food, dishes, utensils, soap, and dish clothes. I often restrain choking the life out of her because I have a good friend in the cabinet named Chianti, who keeps me sane. I tell her, after one of many of her outburst, that she should be lucky. There were many times that I thought of doing a WWF wrestling move on her. Appreciate that!

neil 5 months ago


Elizabeth 6 months ago

The photo of the little girl posted with the article looks exactly like my youngest granddaughter who is 7. That being said, this article pretty much sums up my oldest granddaughter who is eleven and will turn twelve in December. Occasionally my husband and I watch all three of our granddaughters (ages 7, 8 and 11) for three or four days at a time while our daughter and her husband are away on a short vacation. The eleven-year-old has momentarily behaved in such a way that I almost had to call in an exorcist! Just kidding, but close! She’s a smart girl, pretty and a good student, but God help us at times as we patiently wait for her to grow up and out of these difficult growing-up years.

janet 7 months ago

I second the suggestion to add the crazy wackadoodle who has all the energy of the world bursting out at any given moment.

Sonia 7 months ago

Perfect!! Nothing else to say

Jeanine 7 months ago

I loved this article. Perfect description of a tween.

Annoyed 7 months ago

Honestly, people if you have nothing nice to say don’t waste your precious time. Putting people down for posting something they think might help is just bullying. Grow up! I am sure this article will help more than it will hurt. If your going to pass judgement on something look at yourself for the comments you are going to leave. If putting people down makes you feel better I would really not want to see how your kids are behind your back.

Karen 7 months ago

Sounds like poor parenting to me! I have two tweens and a teen and I assure you that talking back and “devil twin” behavior only lasts a matter of minutes because it is dealt with quickly and effectively! But if writing an article about your poor parenting choices makes you feel better, more power to you!

Claudia 7 months ago

Sounds exactly like my little girl, except she’s only 7!!! Can’t wait to find out what she’ll be like at 11!

Layla 7 months ago

that was worth the read. Stephen King meets Tina Fey. I have a tween boy, but the struggle is real here as well!

Christy 7 months ago

I have twin 11 year old girls. Your personality profiles are very accurate. There is also at least 1 more personality at my house, sort of an Einstein/drama queen hybrid that only comes out when your sister is talking. About anything. Absolutely anything she says is a cause for sniping, arguing or refuting. I hope I make it to 18!

Rebecca 8 months ago

Glad to know I’m not the only one going through this lol, you perfectly described my 12 year old

Stephanie 12 months ago

after I laughed, I had my 11yr old read this. She said she definitely recognized the Einstein personality as well as the personality the comes out right after school. She did want to know where the Crazy Wackadoodle personality is. It’s true these girls can get very very silly.

Prontip 12 months ago

Tween? Sister it doesn’t end there. My oldest is 16 and it seems like an additional personality shows up every year.

Naomi 12 months ago

I have 3 girls… triplets… And I know I’m in for it. They are 5 and there is already so much drama!

Holly 12 months ago

Thank you so much for this article, I thought mine was just trying to drive everyone in the house crazy!!!! Needed to know other moms were dealing with this “stage” too!

Lani 12 months ago

LMAO! I can totally relate! (I am also the mom of a 12 year old.) I can maybe add a few personalities as well!

Your Momma 12 months ago

Hmm. Lattes for a twelve year old. Just can’t begin to imagine why her personality changes. Go figure.

Tracy 12 months ago

I was just asking my husband if he thought all 12 year olds were like my daughter. Apparently yes! God help us.

Annie 12 months ago

I used to say that I wish they had something similar to the temperature tape that you could put on their forehead, only it would tell me what age she was at that particular moment! Single mom with two redheaded females 15 months apart. They are now both in college – I survived!

Cathy Sheridan 12 months ago

this is great information about the difficulties of growing up. You don’t know where you belong, who you are or what your interests are. I think the best lesson learned is to never stop loving your daughter! Be there for them and never make them feel like their opinion doesn’t count. Also, each of us know that some day they will have a daughter as well. Empower them!!!


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