10 Reasons My Husband Is The Fun Parent

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Annoying-Things-Husbands-Do

I say this with love (after two glasses of wine): My husband can be a real dunce when it comes treating my job as a Stay-At-Home-Mom with some R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Generally speaking, he is a kind and thoughtful man, which is why I love him. But sometimes, I truly want to smack him with my frying pan.

As a dad, he is the fun parent around here. When the kids want to skirt the house rules and get loud, fast, and filthy they go to dad for help. When they all want food, comfort, or to tattle on someone, they come running to me.

Without getting his man panties in a bunch, I offer up these ten annoying ways my husband makes me the less fun parent…

1. Saying, “Go ask mom.” Really? You can’t be the bad guy and say no to our child who is insisting that he take a bath with the dog? I love being the bad guy. Thanks for that.

2. Saying, “Oh, don’t listen to your mother!” This is probably my least favorite of all the annoying husband things you do. After nine hours alone with our brood, you waltz in after work and change the rules, thus undermining what passes for my authority around here.

3. Giving the children sugar after a lecture to mom about how crazy kids are on sugar. Does this mean that I get to start drinking as much wine as I want? Because if so, then this whole special treat business (after I said no) is going to be a lot more tolerable.

4. Getting the kids wound up before bed. There is nothing better than wrestling with an over tired four year-old who just spent 20 solid minutes running stark naked through the house because dad said it was OK.

5. Giving the kid a prize every time we go to the grocery store. If junior gets a new matchbox car every time we go out in public, then I should get a prize too. Let’s face it; this is more stressful for me than anyone else.  So I’m thinking chocolate, new shoes, and a day off.

6. Giving the kid an early release from mom’s timeout. When our little adventurer freaked out after I told him not to tie a spatula to the dog’s tail, so that he could train the dog to swat mosquitos, he got a timeout. You letting him out on early parole meant his little experiment was back on. Thanks.

7. Not consulting with mom when the kid asks for something insane. You said yes to finger painting the entire refrigerator, which was kind of OK. Except that you didn’t set limits (like I would have) and now the paint is everywhere. You know what isn’t everywhere? You. Cleaning this mess up.

8. Letting the kids skip brushing teeth in order to avoid a bedtime battle. Two words: tooth decay. Call me crazy, but I really think our kids ought to brush their darn teeth every night before bed. Especially since you have been known to let them inhale gobs of sugar.

9. Suddenly disappearing when the baby fills his diaper. Ah…yes. Baby poop. When the child fills his diaper,  you will be nowhere to be seen. You are like the amazing disappearing man. You must be off cleaning up that finger paint.

10. Always having commentary on how to do the mom job better. Your suggestions on how to make my job as a SAHM are super appreciated. Especially when you don’t follow the house rules. Like leaving your clothes and wet towel on the floor (THREE FEET FROM THE HAMPER!) every time you shower. Could I come to your work for a day and make some suggestions on how to improve your efficiency?

Related post: The Better Parent Contest

Comments

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  1. 1

    Love says

    Holy shit! I don’t remember having a pen name, I must have written this in my sleep. Seriously, EVERY FUCKING THING.
    Must.highlight.all.the.words.
    Especially number 10.
    I think we should get together for a drink.

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  2. 2

    MereinAlaska says

    I’m sorry, but your husband kind of sounds like an asshat. If we parents can’t stay united in the little things, what are you going to do when you say no to an alcohol-laden-no-parents-around-sexytime-high school post-game party and he is offering to drive? It’s time to sit down and come up with some family rules!!

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  3. 11

    Karen says

    Um, yeah….no. None of this, and I mean none of this would fly in my house. Ain’t gonna happen and honestly, my husband just wouldn’t do these things to me. Since I am a sahm and he travels, he defers to my authority and checks with me about the rules.

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