10 Reasons My Husband Is The Fun Parent


I say this with love (after two glasses of wine): My husband can be a real dunce when it comes treating my job as a Stay-At-Home-Mom with some R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Generally speaking, he is a kind and thoughtful man, which is why I love him. But sometimes, I truly want to smack him with my frying pan.

As a dad, he is the fun parent around here. When the kids want to skirt the house rules and get loud, fast, and filthy they go to dad for help. When they all want food, comfort, or to tattle on someone, they come running to me.

Without getting his man panties in a bunch, I offer up these ten annoying ways my husband makes me the less fun parent…

1. Saying, “Go ask mom.” Really? You can’t be the bad guy and say no to our child who is insisting that he take a bath with the dog? I love being the bad guy. Thanks for that.

2. Saying, “Oh, don’t listen to your mother!” This is probably my least favorite of all the annoying husband things you do. After nine hours alone with our brood, you waltz in after work and change the rules, thus undermining what passes for my authority around here.

3. Giving the children sugar after a lecture to mom about how crazy kids are on sugar. Does this mean that I get to start drinking as much wine as I want? Because if so, then this whole special treat business (after I said no) is going to be a lot more tolerable.

4. Getting the kids wound up before bed. There is nothing better than wrestling with an over tired four year-old who just spent 20 solid minutes running stark naked through the house because dad said it was OK.

5. Giving the kid a prize every time we go to the grocery store. If junior gets a new matchbox car every time we go out in public, then I should get a prize too. Let’s face it; this is more stressful for me than anyone else.  So I’m thinking chocolate, new shoes, and a day off.

6. Giving the kid an early release from mom’s timeout. When our little adventurer freaked out after I told him not to tie a spatula to the dog’s tail, so that he could train the dog to swat mosquitos, he got a timeout. You letting him out on early parole meant his little experiment was back on. Thanks.

7. Not consulting with mom when the kid asks for something insane. You said yes to finger painting the entire refrigerator, which was kind of OK. Except that you didn’t set limits (like I would have) and now the paint is everywhere. You know what isn’t everywhere? You. Cleaning this mess up.

8. Letting the kids skip brushing teeth in order to avoid a bedtime battle. Two words: tooth decay. Call me crazy, but I really think our kids ought to brush their darn teeth every night before bed. Especially since you have been known to let them inhale gobs of sugar.

9. Suddenly disappearing when the baby fills his diaper. Ah…yes. Baby poop. When the child fills his diaper,  you will be nowhere to be seen. You are like the amazing disappearing man. You must be off cleaning up that finger paint.

10. Always having commentary on how to do the mom job better. Your suggestions on how to make my job as a SAHM are super appreciated. Especially when you don’t follow the house rules. Like leaving your clothes and wet towel on the floor (THREE FEET FROM THE HAMPER!) every time you shower. Could I come to your work for a day and make some suggestions on how to improve your efficiency?

Related post: The Better Parent Contest

About the writer


Maine based writer Sarah Cottrell is the voice behind Housewife Plus at the Bangor Daily News and is a regular contributor to Scary Mommy. She is a co-author in several books including "I Still Just Want To Pee Alone" from the New York Times Bestselling series. Follow her fun on Facebook and Twitter.


Mirjana Aspen Sheridan-Pšeničnik 1 year ago

Uhm if ANY parent goes against the OTHER…. it’s time for COUPLES THERAPY. Especially when it comes to the list above.

Bryan Goldstein 1 year ago

Love how men are portrayed as bumbling fools that undermine everything. So sick of reading crap like this. Every relationship is different.

Jamie 1 year ago

My husband does some of these, especially #4 and 10…drives me crazy

sarsm 1 year ago

Wow! Your stress levels must be through the roof. In all honesty, this is not how it has to be. I would tell him to buck up or move out. (I’m now happily married to husband number two who is a fabulous dad and a wonderful supportive husband). Good luck!

M 1 year ago

Ugh! Yes! I just looove hearing,” um, I think jr needs a new diaper!” From across the house while I am cooking dinner, getting missy a drink and washing the dishes at the same time. Change it your damn self! D< of course we both know that won't happen. Ever. And yes please tell me everything I'm doing wrong and how you would do it better. Actually why don't you show me? No? Okay then STFU!! Okay. I'm done. Rant over. My husband ha his good qualities, I just can't remember them at the moment 😛

Sandra Wyatt 1 year ago

If my hubs did half if this it would be trouble! He is an ass but not that big of one!!

Joanna Sperry 1 year ago

Wow I feel like a lucky woman! That’s like having another child around!

Christine Gritmon 1 year ago

I can’t even imagine standing for any of this crap even once. What a shame that he has no interest in parenting together! After reading this I thanked my husband sincerely for knowing what teamwork is.

Becca Cordes 1 year ago

My husband doesn’t do any of these. … Very good about being a team when it comes to parenting. .. But he is still the fun one :)

Chelsey Renee Stokes 1 year ago

9 and 10..always.

Joseph Harris 1 year ago

Bad parenting on the father’s part. Plain and simple.

Jennifer Mcinerney 1 year ago

#4 lol…..happens daily

Nicole Ticknor 1 year ago

Number 4 is big around here and 9!

chill 1 year ago

#1 and #10. Fortunately, we mostly are both strict(ish), but there are times when I am tired of making decisions, so I tell them to ask their dad. Why is his answer always, “Ask mommy”??

My husband doesn’t always have an opinion on what I do, which is also annoying because it seems very random to me when he does. Occasionally, he’ll get involved in whatever I’m doing, and I end up thinking or saying, “Yes, I already thought of that.” or “That makes no sense at all, mostly because you don’t know how life works at home” Yes, we could talk about things like normal people, but unfortunately he thinks that discussing means I’m arguing with him or saying that his opinion has no validity. Yes, I’ve tried wording things nicely, but it never works. I end up saying, “okay” and then doing things however I think is best.
What really grates on my nerves is when he talks to me like one of his employees… “You need to develop a plan and a timeline to get this issue done. I’ll follow-up with you on this late” Whatever happened to, “How can we solve this problem together, honey?” as we hug?

Michele Schwab 1 year ago

OMG my husband is not perfect at least he knows we are on the same team!

Lani Mays 1 year ago


Sabrina Sabserab Lange 1 year ago

Wow for once I´m glad to be a single parent :-p

Heid 1 year ago

OMG!!! Do you have super powers to watch my house?! This is so my husband too a T! It drives me absolutely crazy and makes me want to hit him with my frying pan, repeatedly!!

Michelle Blood 1 year ago

Number 4 but only number 4. My husband and I are a team more often than not.

Stacy Grooms 1 year ago

My husband is semi-number 9 (he is more reluctant to change one, but he will), but luckily he is ok with the other stuff. Oh, trust me he’s not perfect (neither am I), but we are usually on the same page. And that undermining crap only happened once. I told him if he wanted to be solely in charge then I was going to go walk around the mall or something away from home lol.

We decided before timeouts even started that the only one who lets the kids out of timeout is the one who put them in. Occasionally the other will have to release, but we ask if they want us to, and tell the kid/s “Dad/Mom said timeout is over”.

He only tells them to ask me when he has just walked into the house or woke up and he has no idea what is allowed at this particular moment.

Danielle Kinahan Christie 1 year ago

Very thankful my husband doesn’t do any of these…except for maybe winding the kids up before bed. But he definitely sticks up for me as a mom and a wife and helps me out tremendously. Our boys love him! He’s the best dad. I think all dad’s wind their kids up!

Kay Elliott 1 year ago

Yikes. I would say every single one of those things is inexcusable.

Kathy Godwin 1 year ago

#2 and #10! And I have an 18 year old!

Nicolle Martin 1 year ago

The hamper avoider drives me INSANE. Now my 6 year old is putting his clothes next to the hamper!

Victoria Bryce 1 year ago

Omg… #4 and #10…. drive me NUTS!!!!!

Sara Petrick 1 year ago

My hubby is the fun parent, and that’s part of what I love about him! But he’s also a responsible father and husband. He has no problem changing diapers, cleaning messes, etc. He’s awesome!

Leah Cochenet Noel 1 year ago

Where’s “disappears when homework needs to be done or downgrades the importance of homework”? Or “plays on the iPad all day Saturday while I get meals ready and clean up.” Those are two I wish were different around my house.

Melissa Morrissey Cortale 1 year ago

My husband doesn’t do any of these except the last. It drives me crazy but I know, at heart, this just shows how much he cares, and pays attention, and tries to help take care of this family he loves so much. Men try to “fix” your “problems” because they love you and the kids.

Nuru 1 year ago

The only one I suffer is #4 winding him up before bed time, he’s getting better but I still have have to remind him.

Angie Shadduck 1 year ago

My husband does #1 and #5… When he tells the kids to ask me- I tell them its up to their father. I refuse to answer. #5 is the reason that I rarely let my husband shop… he comes back with tons of crap for the kids that breaks nearly instantly and a ton of junk food (I have a strict diet because of allergies and try to limit the stuff that I can’t have for weak will power!!). It is MUCH better if I shop!

Caitlin Barnes 1 year ago

Number 10!!!!!!

Tanya Khubchandani Vatsa 1 year ago

OMG! My son is 5.5 months and some of these are already true!! Specially the disappearing man, and somehow I’m already the bad guy! I hear about how I need to make him a healthy eaten and then I get ‘when can he eat chocolate’ !!

Danny 1 year ago

Wow. It sounds like your husband married a bitch. I am impressed he comes home after work.

Lindsey D’Lugos 1 year ago

#4 All the time!!!

Hannah Fabiani 1 year ago

Wow I’m sorry for this author she makes me realize what a wonderful husband I have.

Nicolle Holmes-Gulick 1 year ago

Wow. My husband is way too intelligent to behave this way. He is my partner and respects me. Sounds like maybe she needs to have a talk with him about respecting her as a mother and wife.

Mike 1 year ago

So I’ve read through some of these comments and there’s some of you acting like this woman’s husband is some raging piece of shit. I honestly seen a lot of myself in this article and I’m proud of that. When I come home I want to play with my kids. I only get maybe 2 hours with them before they’re getting baths and in bed. So when I come home, yeah her rules go out the window. However I back her up on the important shit. I discipline, and I’m sure the author’s husband does too, when it’s warranted. I’m not gonna go to work 10 hours a day, and then come home and be authoritarian dickhead. And you need a balance of lax and rigid. So one doesn’t become more prevalent than the other. I mean they ARE kids. And me and my wife have a wonderful marriage, and me and my kids have an amazing relationship.

    Sarah Cottrell 1 year ago

    Exactly. Thanks for reading and commenting, Mike!

Michelle Walker 1 year ago

This is why I’m single w a 5 yr old son. No amount of talking, reasoning, anything would get him on the same page. So much happier now.

Holly Rogerson Ehrman 1 year ago

My husband does most of these , but not all of the time. VERY confusing for the kids. His rules change all of the time

DW 1 year ago

So your husband undermines you in a passive aggressive way? Not necessarily normal. We may disagree later about how to discipline, but provide a united front at the time. After the kids go to bed we can discuss it like the adult partners that we are.

Greta Reddig Stoner 1 year ago

They call me “officer no fun”!! :)

Nicole Miller Eagan 1 year ago

My husband only does #4. I wouldn’t put up with him doing most of these, and he knows it! Any husband that would do this is a jerk.

Marsha Manaois 1 year ago

just #4 and # 9..^ ^

Shana Cantrell Klinefelter 1 year ago

My husband does #4 occasionally but he knows better than to do any of the others!

Steph Johnson 1 year ago

Reason for my divorce!

Mel Rutherford 1 year ago

This is why heterosexuality is perilous.

Lawry 1 year ago

OK when did you spy at my house?!?!?

Jessika Mason 1 year ago

My husband does every last one of these, but I’m too outspoken to let him get away with it! He gets the riot act read to him when he pulls this crap.

Sarah Parkhurst 1 year ago

I’m a very lucky wife, my husband is NONE of these xx

Trish Hammons 1 year ago

What is it about #4!?! Why do they not get calm a kid down before bed, not wind them up? Aaaaccckk!

Hannah Shinness Mackie 1 year ago

None. This is not my experience. At all. And if it was, I would probably talk to my husband instead of blogging about it.

Lynn V Mc 1 year ago

Its a freakin epidemic, apparently!

Becca Phillips 1 year ago

1, 2, 4 and 5 but 4 is the absolute worst! I’m talking quietly, moving serenely to help her off to dream land and he goes in after and tickles get until she screams. Thanks a lot, she’ll be up ten times the next hour.

Tara Simon 1 year ago

(I’m also noticing how many “exes” acted like this… Things that make you go hmmmm…)

Melanie Klaus Wilmoth 1 year ago

And god know what’s going on when my son is at his house

Tara Simon 1 year ago

I truly hope that she’s exaggerating for the sake of the entertainment aspect of the article, because otherwise yeah, this guy comes off as a real douchenozzle!

Melanie Klaus Wilmoth 1 year ago

My ex husband did every single one of these

Allison Diehl 1 year ago


Shannon Whaley 1 year ago

Ah yes, the dirty diaper. When my (now ex) husband and I were dating, he was proud of his sense of smell. Well, evidentially poop was his kryptonite because he could not smell a dirty diaper 2 inches from his nose

Dot Whited McCumsey 1 year ago

#10 makes me mentally count the knives in the kitchen.

Danielle ‘Kiene’ Weis 1 year ago

Luckily my husband does not do anything on this list! He is very good about helping and on the same page with rules!

Megan Poirier 1 year ago

Number 5 and number 8!!!!

Daniel N Kimberly Dills 1 year ago

Glad my husband is nothing like this!

Jasmine Walker 1 year ago

Number 4!!!!

Amy Snipes Jennings 1 year ago

My husband learned to stop doing #4 real quick once we had two and he became mostly responsible for the older one’s bedtime routine. It wasn’t so much fun when he was the one that had to try and calm him down!

Jeanne Lussem Brock 1 year ago

Get it :(

Andrea Austin 1 year ago

The only one my husband does is #4, and I don’t even mind. He only gets home a half hour before bed time, and wants to play with the kids :) I have a pretty good husband!

Emma Wilkinson 1 year ago

#4 is the only one mine does and it drives me crazy.

Melissa Dyck 1 year ago

#10….ohhhh number 10

Julie Guilbert Smith 1 year ago

Only #4. Any others would result in my foot up his ass.

Adair Olson 1 year ago

This reads more like “10 Ways One Spouse Undermines the Other Spouse’s Parenting.” I get this is supposed to be fun and all, but wow: how confusing for kids if one spouse has one set of rules while the other has another.

Heather Lubs 1 year ago

Mine is guilty #5 & #8!!! Both irritate the heck out if me!

Melissa Colella 1 year ago

Thank goodness my husband is nothing like this. We work as a team. We’re thinking of the future when both girls are teenagers at the same time trying to play us against each other. We high five like nerds and go great parenting when we accomplish something ie handling our two year olds epic melt down in Wal-Mart or a poop explosion. We’re nerds lol

Stephanie Horton 1 year ago

My hubby is the opposite as well, except 10 lol

Jessica Attinger Mirarchi 1 year ago


Christine Ripsky 1 year ago

Yeah. #4 for sure. But thankfully that’s all!

MelissaBail Ey 1 year ago

The husband needs to learn how to back her up a little better but honestly she should lighten up a bit too. They need to meet in the middle. I hope this couple’s marriage survives.

Randi Cloud 1 year ago

The hamper thing is an issue at my house and so is the winding up before bed!

Jena LePla 1 year ago

My husband only does the “wound kids up before bedtime.” Other than that, we are a team!

Katie Edmunds Monk 1 year ago

This made me laugh so hard!!

Lisa Wallenhorst Anderson 1 year ago

#4 – I know he’s just looking for a fun opportunity to play with the kids and bedtime is the only chance after he works all day — and it’s definitely not every night — but just let them get to bed already!

Angela Frans Hubber 1 year ago

I always wanted to be a mom. Now I realize I would rather be a dad.

Dawn Tremblay Cullinan 1 year ago

All the damn time

Amber Nicole 1 year ago

My husband is the total opposite of this husband. Lol

Sarah 1 year ago

Have you considered discussing these issues or concerns with him? Maybe come up with strategies to improve these issues. For example, instead of saying “go ask mom” he could say “Your mom and I will need to discuss this first.” Then he can relay the response back to them instead of always making you the bad guy everytime. Just a thought. We need to remember men aren’t mind readers and we shouldn’t expect them to be.

rachel 1 year ago

I was the lax parent, with my husband being the bad guy. even though i was the SAHM. we hated to see him coming- he was such a party pooper. i realize rules help keep order, whatever that looks like to you, and i had my fair share. no touching, no screaming, no drawing on the walls, no bloodletting and certainly no playing in the road. everything else was open to negotiation. i will say, i tried to always back him no matter how stupid i thought his rules were, and they were stupid. being on the same page as parents is paramount. i’m still pretty sure he hasn’t the vaguest IDEA of what he’s doing though, 22 years later, and i know it all. yeah…i’m gonna go with that.

Samantha Eldridge 1 year ago

Haha so true!

Tara Smith 1 year ago

Thank God my husband is nothing like this! He has changed as many or even more diapers than I have!

Karen 1 year ago

Um, yeah….no. None of this, and I mean none of this would fly in my house. Ain’t gonna happen and honestly, my husband just wouldn’t do these things to me. Since I am a sahm and he travels, he defers to my authority and checks with me about the rules.

Rachel Williams 1 year ago

While mine is too young for most of these, “do you want a toy?” is uttered every store trip.

Jenn Galbraith 1 year ago

My ex (son’s father) is guilty of #5. Breaking that one was hard, or still is hard lol.

Debbie Patterson 1 year ago

Wow. Your husband is kind of an ass.

Britteny Cassel 1 year ago

I can honestly say my husband doesn’t do any of these!!!

(Don’t get me wrong, he’s not perfect, but he hasn’t done any of these items on the list! LOL)

Jenn Galbraith 1 year ago

Mine is fun and the disciplinarian. He’s fair. :)

Rachel 1 year ago

Wow. Pretty dick moves.

Jade Miller 1 year ago


MereinAlaska 1 year ago

I’m sorry, but your husband kind of sounds like an asshat. If we parents can’t stay united in the little things, what are you going to do when you say no to an alcohol-laden-no-parents-around-sexytime-high school post-game party and he is offering to drive? It’s time to sit down and come up with some family rules!!

    Ashley 1 year ago

    I agree. My husband doesn’t do a lot, but he’s not THAT bad. Your husband sounds kinda immature.

Love 1 year ago

Holy shit! I don’t remember having a pen name, I must have written this in my sleep. Seriously, EVERY FUCKING THING.
Especially number 10.
I think we should get together for a drink.


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