Never The Same Again

94 Comments

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A friend of mine had her first baby a month after my second was born. She’s since been saying on Facebook how different things are now that she’s a mother. How her back hurts. How it sucks to still carry 10 extra pounds.

 

And she asked, when will I feel myself again?

 

I told her, NEVER. You will never be the same again.

 

Your back will always be a little achy.

 

Your boobs will always be a little saggy.

 

Your stomach will always be a little poochy.

 

Your hips will always be a little wider.

 

Your hair, your skin, your bladder control – they will all never be what it was before, whether for better or worse.

 

You will never sleep the same again.

 

You might not get out of a nursing bra for a while.

 

You won’t be using the bathroom alone for a few years.

 

You might find yourself talking about poop a lot more than you expect.

 

You will never have crumb-less floors again.

 

You might not wear something that’s not stained for a couple of years.

 

You might not get your nails done or your hair cut as often as you did.

 

You probably won’t get all the laundry done, or the dishes washed, every single day.

 

Yes, all that.

 

But what I did not tell her, is this.

 

Your smile will always be wider.

 

Your laughter will always be more joyful.

 

Your eyes will always be brighter.

 

Your arms will always be full.

 

Your heart will always be walking out of your chest.

 

Your love will always be bigger.

 

So no, after you birth a child (or two, or three, or four and more), you will never be the same again.

Comments

  1. 3

    Alison says

    Jill, as always, thank you for your generosity in sharing your space, giving us moms a voice. Love to you. xoxo

    • 4

      Katia says

      Beautifully put, Alison, and I mean both your post and the comment to Jill. I agree with every word in your post. A friend of mine put it this way – your heart literally expands with each child and that is what you describe here. Lovely!

  2. 7

    Kristin says

    I don’t know if my smile is always a little bit wider – unless it’s because I’m manic due to lack of sleep and too much caffeine. But my heart walking out of my chest? Oh yes.

    Thanks for sharing, Alison! And thanks for sharing the space, Jill!

    • 8

      Alison says

      What’s that saying, if you don’t smile, you’ll cry? :)
      Seriously, a post with the word nipples in it? Have. To. Read.

      • 9

        Kristin @kdwald says

        Apparently, a great – ahem – exposure tip is to put NIPPLES in a post. It’s about to become one of my most popular posts. So silly!

  3. 10

    Mamaintheburbs says

    Beautifully written Alison! And all so true. Our children bring us the greatest gift in life and that’s love. Thanks for reminding me.

  4. 12

    Mamarific says

    Aw, so true, so true! And you said it so well. “Smile will always be wider” is my favorite. Thanks for making me feel better about my aching back and poochy tummy on a Saturday night.

  5. 14

    A Morning Grouch says

    As the mother of a 6 month old, I’ve wondered this…and absolutely love and appreciate your response.

  6. 18

    Leslie says

    More well-put truths from Alison! I don’t even remember what a truly clean & organized house looks like anymore. But someday the kids will be grown and the mess all gone, and these early days will be the ones we long for.

  7. 22

    Katie says

    As the first mom in my group of friends I expect to be having this conversation many many times over the next couple of years. It’s true, you never will be the same, but there are so many ways that you are better. You wrote the truth very well!

    • 23

      Alison says

      When I had my 2nd, for some reason, I was surrounded by first-time mothers, which prompted this post. :) And thank you!

  8. 26

    Libby says

    As one who now has Grands and one whose memories of times past are cloudy , hold on tight to your children for in the blink of an eye they will be giving you what I so enjoy now Granchildren

  9. 30

    Gab says

    And you will cry at those sappy things that you used to laugh at moms for crying over. Like this post. “Sniff Sniff.

    • 33

      Alison says

      Joanne, yes, definitely. When you’re a parent, you’re a parent, no matter how your children came to you.

  10. 38

    Poppy says

    That’s right, my cuticles are as wide as my hips, but you are so right I wouldn’t change it for anything!

  11. 40

    Amanda Martin says

    All very true, especially the laughing (although I would add crying and shouting). I have never laughed as hard as I do at my children’s antics but I’ve never sobbed so hard from tiredness or shouted as loud from frustration. I guess the two-hours’ sleep magnifies every emotion! :)

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