Never The Same Again


A friend of mine had her first baby a month after my second was born. She’s since been saying on Facebook how different things are now that she’s a mother. How her back hurts. How it sucks to still carry ten extra pounds.

And she asked, when will I feel myself again?

I told her, NEVER. You will never be the same again.

Your back will always be a little achy.

Your boobs will always be a little saggy.

Your stomach will always be a little poochy.

Your hips will always be a little wider.

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Your hair, your skin, your bladder control – they will all never be what it was before, whether for better or worse.

You will never sleep the same again.

You might not get out of a nursing bra for a while.

You won’t be using the bathroom alone for a few years.

You might find yourself talking about poop a lot more than you expect.

You will never have crumb-less floors again.

You might not wear something that’s not stained for a couple of years.

You might not get your nails done or your hair cut as often as you did.

You probably won’t get all the laundry done, or the dishes washed, every single day.

Yes, all that.

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But what I did not tell her, is this.

Your smile will always be wider.

Your laughter will always be more joyful.

Your eyes will always be brighter.

Your arms will always be full.

Your heart will always be walking out of your chest.

Your love will always be bigger.

So no, after you birth a child (or two, or three, or four and more), you will never be the same again.

But it’s ok, because you won’t want to be.

About the writer


Alison Lee is a former PR and marketing professional turned work-at-home mother. After a 10-year career in various PR agencies, and of the world’s biggest sports brands, Alison traded in product launches and world travel, for sippy cups, diapers, and breastfeeding. Alison shares stories of motherhood on her blog, Writing, Wishing, and her writing has been featured on Everyday Family, Mamalode,, and The Huffington Post. She is one of 35 essayists in the anthology, My Other Ex: Women’s True Stories of Leaving and Losing Friends. In 2012, she founded Little Love Media, a social media consultancy specializing in blog book tours, and because she doesn’t sleep, is an editor at BonBon Break, an online magazine. Alison lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia with her husband and four children (two boys and boy/ girl twins). You can find Alison on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, and Google+.


Angela Di Donato Duffy 1 year ago

No truer statements.

Sonia Kamboh 1 year ago

100%! So glad that our babies are at the same stages so I have a fabulous friend on this journey.

Dara Lamel Alweiss 1 year ago


Kara Lee Taylor 1 year ago

Love this so much and so true! All worth it.

Joe Medler 1 year ago

Great piece and though it’s for moms, the larger point resonates with me as well. While her friend is just starting this journey I hope it’s one she comes to see as possessing all the tools she’ll need for placing that earlier version of herself in context and embracing her new self with all it’s new meanings and joys..

Rachael Colon 1 year ago

Nah, the weight can be lost, you’ll get back in your old clothes, priorities have shifted though and reading books to little ones will be more important than folding clothes, going for walks more important than dusting. It’s just a change, not the end of your identity. It adds to your days. :)

Jessica Parker Zdinak 1 year ago

Well this made me bawl crying on this New Years Day! Thanks for this one :)

Chardelle Renee Jackson 1 year ago

Yes, but your floor CAN be crumbless. Just makes sure you have dogs. Haha. Anytime we go anywhere else to eat I look at the floor and am so thankful of my clean up crew at home.

Andrea Browne 1 year ago

And basically…you never stop worrying…

Jess Ica 1 year ago

It’s worth it all though

Amber Lundell 1 year ago


Jaymie 1 year ago

Ok, I’m totally with you for the first half of the post. The second half…ehhhh. I get some great smiles out of my daughter, but my smile might be wider because I’ve gone a bit crazy. My laughter is sometimes verging on hysteria. My eyes aren’t always brighter, at least not until I’ve had some caffeine. And sometimes I DO want to be the same as I was before I had my daughter. I have and occasionally still do mourn for some of my pre-baby self/life. But while I miss some of the pre-baby me, but I wouldn’t trade my crazy toddler to have that back again.

Candace Chang Fong 1 year ago

✋ ||raising my hand in agreement||

Araceli Nino 1 year ago

Aww so cute!

Candace Lee Bartel 1 year ago


Lynds Derham 1 year ago

Butter in the freezer :)

Chelsea Balmer 1 year ago

Amy Fraser, reminds me of the wonderful note you sent me when I was still in ‘survival mode’ :)

Amy Chastain 1 year ago


Sarah Lubcke Faridi 1 year ago


    Nav Dosanjh-Gill 1 year ago

    I can’t wait for it all!

Lori Ann 1 year ago

I wouldn’t want my life any other way. I’m head over heels for my boy!!

Renee Haney King 1 year ago

It’s all true!! Life has forever changed! For the better!!!!

Jacki Duncan Riley 1 year ago

You will do crazy things (like put formula in the coffee pot instead of coffee grounds) but you will laugh at your sleep deprived self once you are rested :)

    Nicole Lynn 1 year ago

    or put the milk on the shelf and the noodles in the fridge

Kara Aloisio Mikhail 1 year ago

You will never feel like your old self ever again, but you will become your new self, and you learn to love it!

Samantha Donadio-DeCristofaro 1 year ago

Love it! Great article.

Tonya Richards-Hudson 1 year ago

Love love love this!!!! The most stressful, demanding, and rewarding job all at the same time! #lovebeingamom #priceless

Kat Costa 1 year ago

The days and nights are a tad rougher..I look like a hot mess but my children are happy,healthy and most importantly loved :)

Rachael Ladisic 1 year ago

That literally made me tear up!!! Thanks Sonya Houston :)

Katie Zampier 1 year ago

Spot on!

Alyssa Marie 1 year ago

Perfect ❤

Rachel Goose Ihme 1 year ago

Smile wider from delirium brought on by lack of sleep…

Summer Rudolph 1 year ago

Love this. Perfect.

Melanie Smith Twiddy 1 year ago

This is amazing. Yes yes yes to all of this.


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