Alison Lee
Latest posts by Alison Lee (see all)
- Not My Mother’s Daughter - March 27, 2013
- Never The Same Again - March 2, 2013
- What to Expect From Motherhood - December 6, 2012
A friend of mine had her first baby a month after my second was born. She’s since been saying on Facebook how different things are now that she’s a mother. How her back hurts. How it sucks to still carry 10 extra pounds.
And she asked, when will I feel myself again?
I told her, NEVER. You will never be the same again.
Your back will always be a little achy.
Your boobs will always be a little saggy.
Your stomach will always be a little poochy.
Your hips will always be a little wider.
Your hair, your skin, your bladder control – they will all never be what it was before, whether for better or worse.
You will never sleep the same again.
You might not get out of a nursing bra for a while.
You won’t be using the bathroom alone for a few years.
You might find yourself talking about poop a lot more than you expect.
You will never have crumb-less floors again.
You might not wear something that’s not stained for a couple of years.
You might not get your nails done or your hair cut as often as you did.
You probably won’t get all the laundry done, or the dishes washed, every single day.
Yes, all that.
But what I did not tell her, is this.
Your smile will always be wider.
Your laughter will always be more joyful.
Your eyes will always be brighter.
Your arms will always be full.
Your heart will always be walking out of your chest.
Your love will always be bigger.
So no, after you birth a child (or two, or three, or four and more), you will never be the same again.
{ 94 comments… read them below or add one }
Love this! SO true.
Adrienne recently posted..$100 Walmart GC & Listerine Prize Pack Giveaway!
Thank you, Adrienne!
Jill, as always, thank you for your generosity in sharing your space, giving us moms a voice. Love to you. xoxo
Alison recently posted..Yes, I’m Mom Blogging And Proud Of It
Beautifully put, Alison, and I mean both your post and the comment to Jill. I agree with every word in your post. A friend of mine put it this way – your heart literally expands with each child and that is what you describe here. Lovely!
Katia recently posted..101 Ways (OK, make it 6) to Incorporate the Word Poop into a Conversation
Oh, fine. Fine. You’re right!!
Stephanie recently posted..When it Comes to Your Children, Who Do You Trust?
:) Ooh, I need to go read you post about children and trust!
Alison recently posted..Yes, I’m Mom Blogging And Proud Of It
I don’t know if my smile is always a little bit wider – unless it’s because I’m manic due to lack of sleep and too much caffeine. But my heart walking out of my chest? Oh yes.
Thanks for sharing, Alison! And thanks for sharing the space, Jill!
Kristin recently posted..Nipples: they won’t actually poke your eye out, you know.
What’s that saying, if you don’t smile, you’ll cry? :)
Seriously, a post with the word nipples in it? Have. To. Read.
Apparently, a great – ahem – exposure tip is to put NIPPLES in a post. It’s about to become one of my most popular posts. So silly!
Kristin @kdwald recently posted..Nipples: they won’t actually poke your eye out, you know.
Beautifully written Alison! And all so true. Our children bring us the greatest gift in life and that’s love. Thanks for reminding me.
Thank you!
Aw, so true, so true! And you said it so well. “Smile will always be wider” is my favorite. Thanks for making me feel better about my aching back and poochy tummy on a Saturday night.
Mamarific recently posted..U2 War: Heart-Racing, Mind-Blowing, Life-Changing
I named my pooch Winnie – you? :)
Thanks for reading!
As the mother of a 6 month old, I’ve wondered this…and absolutely love and appreciate your response.
A Morning Grouch recently posted..An Open Valentine to Mr. Grouch
It makes my heart happy that a new Mama loved this post.
PERFECTION.
@LuckyMamaJ
Thank you so kindly, Jackie.
More well-put truths from Alison! I don’t even remember what a truly clean & organized house looks like anymore. But someday the kids will be grown and the mess all gone, and these early days will be the ones we long for.
Leslie recently posted..{Friday Five} # 8
Yes, plenty of time for an organized house!
Wise words and so true! Loved this beautiful post, Alison!
Jennifer recently posted..Ordinary: Five Minute Friday {1}
Thank you, Jennifer!
Alison recently posted..How To Kill Your Brand and Business With A Few Facebook Updates
As the first mom in my group of friends I expect to be having this conversation many many times over the next couple of years. It’s true, you never will be the same, but there are so many ways that you are better. You wrote the truth very well!
Katie recently posted..A Walk in the Park
When I had my 2nd, for some reason, I was surrounded by first-time mothers, which prompted this post. :) And thank you!
Inspirational!! Totally true – I have 5 kids!!
Thank you Renee! And hats off to you – 5 kids? Wow. :)
As one who now has Grands and one whose memories of times past are cloudy , hold on tight to your children for in the blink of an eye they will be giving you what I so enjoy now Granchildren
Time does fly! Especially when they’re itty bitty like mine are now.
Alison recently posted..Yes, I’m Mom Blogging And Proud Of It
This is Lovely!!
Thank you Meggan!
And you will cry at those sappy things that you used to laugh at moms for crying over. Like this post. “Sniff Sniff.
Oh, yes, definitely. The Johnson & Johnson ad for the Olympics? I was sobbing.
Just gotta say it is true of adopting a baby not just birthing one!!
Joanne, yes, definitely. When you’re a parent, you’re a parent, no matter how your children came to you.
Speak for yourself lady, my hips and boobs are as they ever were.
Okay then, good for you :)
Alison recently posted..How To Kill Your Brand and Business With A Few Facebook Updates
So so lovely and true, especially the heart part.
Grown and Flown recently posted..College Admission and Toxic Questions
Thank you, ladies.
That’s right, my cuticles are as wide as my hips, but you are so right I wouldn’t change it for anything!
Hee! You’re a funny lady :)
All very true, especially the laughing (although I would add crying and shouting). I have never laughed as hard as I do at my children’s antics but I’ve never sobbed so hard from tiredness or shouted as loud from frustration. I guess the two-hours’ sleep magnifies every emotion! :)
Amanda Martin recently posted..Lazy Day and Lego: 2013 365 Challenge #61
Lack of sleep really makes everything a little louder/ more colorful!
Well put!!! It’s almost hard to recall how self centered my life was until my first child blessed me with her presence at 38, how busy I THOUGHT I was!! I wouldn’t trade a single pound, stretch mark, long night, winy day, or a minute of privacy and only wish I was able to start sooner. (I’m on my second and last at 42). As the mother of a cancer survivor ( yes she had cancer at 10 months old) The joys of motherhood always outweigh every single suck ass moment that may come your way temporarily. The first laugh, hug, kiss, “I love you” from your toddler…….all of those “mommy imperfections” fade into the background.
Love your story, Diane!
Beautiful, my dear friend. Where did my boobs go?
tracy@sellabitmum recently posted..Eight
Thank you, sweetie. Hee! Love you and your (non) boobs.
NO NO NO and after 7 years of fertility doctors the best days of my LIFE WHERE The ones when My three kids were born!!! 37 years later and I have all these problems except the cleaning ones and Laundry but it was well worth it. Now I spend it with my GRANDKIDS!!!
Children are blessings and joys, despite all the hardships, yes?
All the things we lose when we become a parent can’t, don’t, won’t ever compare to all that is gained (even though, yes, sometimes the gain is the inability to remember virtually anything, but still.)
Arnebya recently posted..Sometimes
That’d come with age anyway, yes? The forgetting? :)
AMEN
An the only crafting u will get to do is helping your little one achieve theirs. But their joy at doing it can honestly fill the gap
Beautiful Alison. You said it exactly as it is.
And those are only a few of the benefits of being a parent.
Allen@Funny Baby Videos recently posted..By: funnybabyvids
Absolutely, there is so much more!
So true. Nothing goes back to the way it was pre-kids.
Mercy recently posted..Life Lessons Can Be Found Anywhere
Beautiful! I don’t know why some women think you can pop out a baby from a body that resembles a retractable roof and suddenly go right back to normal. Things have to shift and sag…but what a great reason to have it all go to hell.
I love the analogy, Annie!
It’s something one cannot understand until they experience it. No amount of “having a child changes everything” warnings will sink in until it happens to you.
just JENNIFER recently posted..Weekend Why
Yes, absolutely!
Future moms need to hear this!!
Lady Jennie recently posted..Gougères Are Just Cheese Puffs
They probably won’t believe the part about going to the bathroom alone though :)
Absolutely love this! Every part of it is so true. I still have dishes in my sink from the past few days lol, but I’m happier and more fulfilled than I could ever be. I feel complete! :)
Natasha recently posted..Day 29 – Slept in Late, Too Late
That’s more important than an empty sink!
True, true, TRUE!
This is so true, love it. Life is never the same after having a child or more than one child. The happiness out weights anything else. If you want your tummy to be flat again do some exercises and practice holding in those tummy muscles.
Life is much fuller ones you have children and you can get more sleep once they leave home. Don’t worry about losing sleep, because the years go by quickly.
Indeed, days are long, years are short.
Alison recently posted..Yes, I’m Mom Blogging And Proud Of It
Oh my yes to it all. Its all true!
Looking back on nursing as long as I did while working and taking online classes. I think it was nuts. But so worth it.
My heart is so full each and every day, no matter how my house looks and how stinky I smell.
Thanks Alison :)
Alma recently posted..The Making of a King
Your children are very lucky to have you as their mother, Alma!
Alison recently posted..10 Things I Will Never, Ever Do
Love this post, love seeing you here! Way to go, girlfriend! xo
Galit Breen recently posted..Thirty Seven, and Two
Thank you sweetheart!!
Alison recently posted..10 Things I Will Never, Ever Do
This is so true and wonderfully said. I think sometimes too much focus is put on the negative changes to life that kids bring and it is really nice that the positive changes are listed. Thank you for making me smile and bringing some warmth to my heart as I sit up way too early to get my kids to school.
Melly, so glad you liked the post. Have a good day!
Alison recently posted..10 Things I Will Never, Ever Do
Why did you not tell her the good stuff?!
I agree, though, no matter what frustrations my 2 bring me, they make me smile and laugh every day. It’s a cliche but I don’t think anything truly prepares you for parenthood – it’s definitely a “you have to be there” thing.
Madeleine recently posted..Sunday gingerbread (this time with ginger)
I was saving the good stuff for the blog post :)
Kidding. I did tell her some. Later. Promise.
Alison recently posted..10 Things I Will Never, Ever Do
Love this post! My kids are a little older (12 & 8) but I still have some of the every day frustrations that come along with having kids…but I can’t imagine what my life would be like without them in it.
Stacey recently posted..The Ring
Thanks Stacey!
Alison recently posted..10 Things I Will Never, Ever Do
And you will learn to type one handed while nursing your baby and reaching out to other mama’s in hopes of feeling not quite so alone in the joyous chaos of your new life.
themeanmama recently posted..Cheaper by the Dozen aka I Heart Costco
Yes! Aren’t we moms awesome?
Alison recently posted..10 Things I Will Never, Ever Do
Oh, my gosh, Alison! This is getting “scary”! You are everywhere! Whenever I take some time out of my day of dealing with a crazy toddler and doing my own writing work to read something on my own, there you are, saying something intelligent and funny on some relevant topic!
And I completely agree… For some reason, I had this preconception about motherhood that I would “get my life back” after a certain amount of time. First, everyone said it would be six weeks. (“Oh, the first six weeks are the hardest!”) Then it was three months, then six months, then a year. My son will be two at the end of April, and I’m still waiting for it to get “easy.”
Jessica Smock recently posted..Friday Extra Credit For March 1, 2013: The CEO edition
Jessica, it doesn’t really get easier, as things are always changing when the children go from age to age. However, you DO get better at this motherhood thing. :)
Every word rings true. But it’s all totally worth it. :)
Tonya recently posted..Yes, I Blog. Yes, It’s A Real Job
It’s totally worth it!
So sweet.
everything is a trade off, isn’t it?
It is, and the best part is? We still win.
Alison! This is perfection!
Thank you, Katie!
This is perfect, Alison!
Thank you Nina!
Alison recently posted..How To Kill Your Brand and Business With A Few Facebook Updates
Thay was beautiful and much needed. Thank you!
I just had my first child, an awesome, healthy, light-of-my-world baby boy. It is an overwhelming, stressful, and wonderful adjustment to my life. Thanks for the positive reminder.
Congratulations! Enjoy the first year, it’s magical and it goes by far too quickly.
Alison recently posted..How To Kill Your Brand and Business With A Few Facebook Updates
Perfect. Just perfect.
Tammy recently posted..Fiction Friday Part 9: The Pickup
Much love to you, thank you Tammy!
Alison recently posted..How To Kill Your Brand and Business With A Few Facebook Updates
I love this and it is so very true! (And I so wish I could blame the stained shirt on just my kids!!!)
Alexa recently posted..Premonition or Self Fulfilling Prophecy?
Hah! I know, right?
Alison recently posted..How To Kill Your Brand and Business With A Few Facebook Updates