Expert tells us we only need to wash our bras after “several” wears
Ladies, if there is one thing we all can agree on it’s that bras suck. The only thing worse than wearing a bra is washing these persnickety undergarments. All it takes is one spin cycle and that lacy booby trap that cost you an entire paycheck looks like your grandma’s ratty doily with twisted metal wire poking out the side.
Like I said, bras fucking suck and caring for them is even worse.
Well, it’s time to put up your feet and pop some bubbly, ladies, because USA Today reported that the experts have let us off the hook (wink, wink) when it comes to caring for these devil-conspired contraptions. According to Lexie Sachs, senior product analyst in the Textiles Lab at the Good Housekeeping Institute, bras should be washed after they’ve been worn — you ready for it? — several times.
Never mind the fact that “several times” is vague AF, or that this doesn’t exactly make our chores easier, per se, because we aren’t washing our bras that often anyway, but it sure is nice to have a little less guilt about our realistic (i.e. subpar) laundry skills.
Let’s be honest, most of us have been following the “several times” rule since forever. Not because someone told us it was okay, but because we’re busy AF, bras suck, and washing them is a giant pain in the ass that none of us has time to deal with. Never mind that we’re delirious with euphoria when we unhook our bra and unleash our buxom beauties from their unforgiving shackles that we forget to put it in the laundry.
So, no, we didn’t need this news, but it sure is nice not to be dumped on with another housekeeping rule to remind us of the ways we’re failing in the domesticity department. I can assure you that, contrary to the advice of the “experts,” I am not cleaning my floors daily, dusting the blinds monthly, or vacuuming the mattresses ever. Then again, I also thought you could flush a tampon down the toilet. Just goes to show what I know. Needless to say, I am not washing my bras after every wear. I’m on more of an every-five-or-six-days (or was it six weeks?) schedule.
If there is one thing that unites us women, it’s our love-hate relationship with bras. We love that they pick up our pancake tits from resting in our navel, smooth out our razor-sharp nips, and give our boobies the perkiness of a 20-year-old aerobics instructor when we feel like a crabby 80-year-old who lost at bingo…again.
But there is so much to hate about them too. We hate that they stab us in our ribs with metal knives masquerading as underwire. We hate that they give us under-boob sweat. We hate that they cost more than our preschooler’s tuition. And we really hate laundering them.
So while this information might not be news, it sure is nice not to have one more thing to feel guilty about. Thank you, Jesus in a Mobi wrap, for someone having a little common sense about this. Of course, what’s a little guilt-free news without some mansplaining involved? Dr. Jamin Brahmbhatt also told USA Today, “If you’re wearing something that sees tons of sweat, like from the armpits, then wash daily.” Because duh. Look, we’re busy AF and hate laundry, but we’re not gross.
Despite Sach’s laissez faire approach to brassiere laundering frequently, she does suggest washing bras in a mesh bag to minimize wear and tear and laying them flat to dry.
But that might be pushing it.