2014-THANKSgiving

Dear Not Your Daughter’s Jeans

52 Comments

NYDJ_Splash_videos

 

Mr. George Rudes
Chief Executive Officer
Not Your Daughter’s Jeans
9856 North Solo Street
Los Angeles, CA  90006

 

Dear Mr. Rudes,

 

I’ve been looking for new jeans because I recently lost 15 lbs. Starving and cranky, I came across an ad for your company, Not Your Daughter’s Jeans, which specializes in denim for women over 40.  I am 45 and admittedly lack any type of degree in psychology, marketing, or even women’s studies; however, I can tell you, without a doubt, that women do not want to be reminded that they cannot fit into their daughter’s jeans! Why do you have to rub it in?

 

·      We don’t want our daughters’ tiny boobs.

·      We don’t want our daughters’ scoliosis braces.

·      We don’t want our daughters’ creepy band directors.

·      We don’t want our daughters’ black liquid eyeliner.

·      We don’t want our daughters’ minimum wage job at Taco Town.

 

BUT…and I tell you this with authority, as I have an over-40, dimpled butt of my own, we want to wear our daughters’ jeans!  Or, at least we want people to think we are wearing our daughters’ jeans, not some crease-down-the-middle-waist-up-to-our-armpits-60%-Lycra-sh*t.   (Did I mention I was starving and cranky?)  In fact, if I was wearing Not Your Daughter’s Jeans and a friend asked, “Hey girl, what kind of jeans are you wearin’?”  I would not announce, “Well, let me tell you, they are Not My Daughter’s Jeans!”

 

At 45, I want jeans that scream:  “Yeah, bitch, I bought ‘em in the junior department and they fit fine.  F-I-N-E, fine!” I want jeans a man can unbutton with his mouth, not the Jaws of Life.  I want jeans that have room for a guy to put his hand in my back pocket.  Not itsy-bitsy-teeny-tiny-back pockets with room for just the sitter’s number and an Oil of Olay coupon.

                                                            

I don’t know how old you are, but here’s a news flash, Mr.Rudes:  Women over 40 still feel young and sexy. On Lucky Brand jeans, a tag is sewn into the fly that reads:  “Lucky You” – a perfect message for the unzipperer (yep, when I’m cranky, I make up words.)  Let me guess, the tag on Not Your Daughter’s Jeans says: “Dry clean only. Hang on pink satin padded hanger.  Cover in plastic and store at an average room temperature of 72 degrees.”

 

It’s an interesting detail that your company tucks a note into every pair of Not Your Daughter’s Jeans that boasts: “NYDJ cannot be held responsible for any positive consequence that may arise due to your fabulous appearance when wearing the Tummy Tuck jeans.  You can thank me later.” I think you’ve got a blue suede screw loose. What positive consequences could possibly occur when wearing mom jeans with so much Lycra they double as support hose? Hmmm…

 

·      Getting asked out by the retired guy who bags my groceries?

·      Having a Walgreen’s employee ask, “Can I help you find the incontinence section?”

·      Mistakenly being offered the senior citizen discount at the movie theater?

·      Wearing them for days since no one is interested in ripping them off me?

 

Mr. Jean Queen, I know it’s too late for you to rename your company, but did you consider Hot at Forty Jeans, MILF Jeans, or even Not Your Mom’s Jeans? I mean if you owned a company that specialized in denim for men over 40, would you name the jeans, My Fat Pants or Not Even Close to What I Used to Be? Or in order to showcase all that Lycra lift, would you have considered Rise and Shiners?

 

I didn’t think so.

 

Sincerely,

Liesl Testwuide

Comments

The Scary Mommy Community is built on support. If your comment doesn't add to the conversation in a positive or constructive way, please rethink submitting it. Basically? Don't be a dick, please.

  1. 9

    CClint says

    Ok, laugh all you want but I got these the other day and feel cute in them!
    http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/nydj-megan-faux-leather-trim-stretch-skinny-jeans-regular-petite/3502671?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=4861&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-1_14_A

    As the first-time mom of a 13 month old, I’m struggling to get back into regular jeans, and the stretch on these, plus the cute leather accents, made me feel good. And I’m way younger than 40 btw!

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    • 11

      Martine says

      Why? Its saying that we don’t want to wear teenybopper fashions. It has very little to do with sizing. In fact if you look at daughters these days, they are really not all that thin. And if no one has blown the cue whistle, high rise jeans have been back in fashion for five years.

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  2. 12

    Kristi says

    Oh my gosh, I had to go look… I hate to make him feel bad, but those are BAD looking jeans! The crotch is baggy, or saggy or smiley, or whatever you want to call it – it doesnt fit! They are short, no waist and I can understand why no daughter (or mom) would claim them. That’s just a shame, I think your letter hit the nail on the head….

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  3. 15

    Lynnea Perry Bennett says

    Love it.. but seriously.. jeans not my favorite piece of clothing to wear.. why do companies not make jeans for those of us who are bootylicious…

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  4. 16

    MommaLynnea says

    as I said.. make some damn jeans for a woman who has a nice ass for Gods sake.. if they fit my ass they gap in the waist.. fit the waist their is no way to move in them. I have been curvy my whole life.. even when I was a size 6 I had an ass.. My ass is what got me my husband and he would NOT like it if I lost my ass. Honestly I wouldn’t either.. but jeans are not my friends

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      • 18

        Kim says

        I have the totally opposite issue. No butt, no padding.. just a straight line (it doesn’t help that I’m a whoppin 5 ft tall either). Maybe I should shop for you since I can only seem to find jeans that I can seriously put a couch cushion or two into the rear and carry a twelve-pack in the hips.. but they fit my waist. We won’t get into the length thing. Lord…. I know it’s been said before, but they really, REALLY need to use more realistic women to come up with their patterns. Anyone as small in waist and rear as I am that actually has legs as long as these jeans… well, picture Twiggy, but much taller!

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  5. 19

    MILF Runner says

    HAHAHAHAH! I am so down with this!!!! Every time I put on my Lucky Jeans, that little “lucky you” makes me smile and say “Damn straight, mutherfucker.”

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  6. 21

    Frankie Lawson says

    I own 4 pairs of NYDJ pants, and 3 pairs of their capri pants. They’re super comfortable, and they fit me without needing to be hemmed (which at 5’2″ is saying something). No one has ever asked me what brand they were. One person did ask where I got them, and I said, “Nordstrom.” She said she asked because they fit me really well. Try a pair on, you might surprise yourself. And don’t judge a jean by its tag. Your butt and legs can’t read.

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  7. 22

    Jeanelle says

    So I HAD to look these up, following links posted by previous commenters (I also make up words, just not only when I’m cranky) and then straight to the horse’s mouth at NYDJ’s website. I can say that some of the pictures are more flattering than others for sure … on second party sites. The NYDJ site, however, features models who are miniscule to the point that one would certainly wonder WHY she would look for these jeans in the first place. But I digress. My real point here is that NYDJ states that all of their jeans “sit just above the natural waistline.” …. Excuse me? For jeans to “sit just above the natural waistline,” they’d have to sit just below the boobs. Which, lets face it, SCREAMS mom jeans. Furthermore, from the pictures on the same site, this simply IS NOT the case. Which leads me to my point: Do these people even know what a “natural waistline” is??? I refuse to trust a company which makes clothing and seems to not even know the correct terminology to use to describe said clothing. Check it out for yourselves and someone PLEASE show me the error in my logic!
    http://www.nydj.com/NYDJ-fit.html
    I think we’re all on the prowl for that perfect pair of jeans. We all have a different body, and no one jean will work for all of us. Which is why I think it’s poor business sense at the very least for this company to create jeans in a variety of styles that ALL fit the same from waist to thigh. I would think this would narrow one’s market segment so significantly that one could not possibly hope to avoid bankruptcy. But then I guess that’s why these jeans are $100+….. and I don’t know about the rest of you, but THIS mommy would much rather sport her yoga pants FOR.EV.ER than drop that kind of cash on ONE pair of jeans, even if they do take my ass from WayLow to JLo status.
    Now, I’m not one to bitch without offering solutions. That said, who’s been to a Levi’s store lately? Personally, I think Levi’s Curve ID is BRILLIANT!!!! Check it out for yourselves!! Hopefully you’ll find it as amazingly awesome as I do, and you’ll learn to love your jeans again too! (And PS: These jeans will run you $40-$50, which, in my opinion, is fairly reasonable to begin with, but if you happen to have a Levi’s Outlet nearby, you can catch them on sale from $15-$25 like I did!!) Happy shopping!!!
    http://us.levi.com/quiz/index.jsp

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    • 23

      Jeanelle says

      So, correction on my part: I discovered these jeans IN an Outlet store, where the retail price is $40-$50 NOT on sale. The jeans you’ll find to shop on the site ARE admittedly more expensive than that, but still none over $100, and even some on sale through the site directly. Again; attempting to be helpful and hoping I’m successful! ;)

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  8. 24

    Virginia Llorca says

    I saw this maybe fifteen year old girl at the mall wearing jeans with the rear pockets placed way low on the backside to push up her already too perky little ass. It hardly seems fair. Oh, well. I had my day in the sun with my perky ass way back then.

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