Dear Not Your Daughter’s Jeans

Mr. George Rudes
Chief Executive Officer
Not Your Daughter’s Jeans
9856 North Solo Street
Los Angeles, CA  90006

Dear Mr. Rudes,

I’ve been looking for new jeans because I recently lost 15 lbs. Starving and cranky, I came across an ad for your company, Not Your Daughter’s Jeans, which specializes in denim for women over 40.  I am 45 and admittedly lack any type of degree in psychology, marketing, or even women’s studies; however, I can tell you, without a doubt, that women do not want to be reminded that they cannot fit into their daughter’s jeans! Why do you have to rub it in?

·      We don’t want our daughters’ tiny boobs.

·      We don’t want our daughters’ scoliosis braces.

·      We don’t want our daughters’ creepy band directors.

·      We don’t want our daughters’ black liquid eyeliner.

·      We don’t want our daughters’ minimum wage job at Taco Town.

BUT…and I tell you this with authority, as I have an over-40, dimpled butt of my own, we want to wear our daughters’ jeans!  Or, at least we want people to think we are wearing our daughters’ jeans, not some crease-down-the-middle-waist-up-to-our-armpits-60%-Lycra-sh*t.   (Did I mention I was starving and cranky?)  In fact, if I was wearing Not Your Daughter’s Jeans and a friend asked, “Hey girl, what kind of jeans are you wearin’?”  I would not announce, “Well, let me tell you, they are Not My Daughter’s Jeans!”

At 45, I want jeans that scream:  “Yeah, bitch, I bought ‘em in the junior department and they fit fine.  F-I-N-E, fine!” I want jeans a man can unbutton with his mouth, not the Jaws of Life.  I want jeans that have room for a guy to put his hand in my back pocket.  Not itsy-bitsy-teeny-tiny-back pockets with room for just the sitter’s number and an Oil of Olay coupon. 

I don’t know how old you are, but here’s a news flash, Mr.Rudes:  Women over 40 still feel young and sexy. On Lucky Brand jeans, a tag is sewn into the fly that reads:  “Lucky You” – a perfect message for the unzipperer (yep, when I’m cranky, I make up words.)  Let me guess, the tag on Not Your Daughter’s Jeans says: “Dry clean only. Hang on pink satin padded hanger.  Cover in plastic and store at an average room temperature of 72 degrees.”

It’s an interesting detail that your company tucks a note into every pair of Not Your Daughter’s Jeans that boasts: “NYDJ cannot be held responsible for any positive consequence that may arise due to your fabulous appearance when wearing the Tummy Tuck jeans.  You can thank me later.” I think you’ve got a blue suede screw loose. What positive consequences could possibly occur when wearing mom jeans with so much Lycra they double as support hose? Hmmm…

·      Getting asked out by the retired guy who bags my groceries?

·      Having a Walgreen’s employee ask, “Can I help you find the incontinence section?”

·      Mistakenly being offered the senior citizen discount at the movie theater?

·      Wearing them for days since no one is interested in ripping them off me?

Mr. Jean Queen, I know it’s too late for you to rename your company, but did you consider Hot at Forty Jeans, MILF Jeans, or even Not Your Mom’s Jeans? I mean if you owned a company that specialized in denim for men over 40, would you name the jeans, My Fat Pants or Not Even Close to What I Used to Be? Or in order to showcase all that Lycra lift, would you have considered Rise and Shiners?

I didn’t think so.

Sincerely,

Liesl Testwuide

About the writer

@LieslTestwuide

Liesl, publisher of the website Hairpin Turns Ahead, uses humor and humility to write about navigating life’s twists, turns, and inevitable changes.  A divorced mom of three, she has come to accept that even though her white-picket-fence dream life blew up in her face, it was probably the best thing to have happened.  Follow Liesl on FacebookPinterest,and Twitter.

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martine 2 years ago

I think its a great way to advertise. Their point is that these jeans are for women who feel that their age IS sexy. They are proud to not be little girls. You are missing the point royally. Nothing worse then amateur comedians.

Mady Grace 2 years ago

Before sending such a blistering letter to the owner of the company, you should have tried a pair of the jeans. They are fantastic! I look and feel much slimmer than when I wear a pair of my old jeans. They are slimming, a good length, and most of all, they are so comfortable. Not Your Daughter Jeans means just that, and nothing else. I don’t perceive it as a slam at my sexuality or my ass; the jeans are for me, not my young daughter. You really need to try them. I have one pair, but eventually will own more. As I add more of these, I will toss the Gap jeans that show my crack every time I move. Comfort AND Style is where it’s at.

    Liesl Testwuide 2 years ago

    I’m sure they are great, but this is a humor column. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Down Side Up Mommy 2 years ago

you are brilliant

Tom Schmit 2 years ago

Truly the best website I have read in a long time. Love your sense of humor. Adding this link to website for more to read

    Liesl Testwuide 2 years ago

    I think I love you Tom Schmit wherever you are!

Leanne 2 years ago

Just LOVE not your daughters jeans: I have a large waist. large hips
and tall skinny legs and no butt – these fit me AWESOME !! I’M IN LOVE. Have bought ALL kinds from cheap to expensive and legs look HUGE — These are the best ! thanks
NOT MY MOTHERS JEANS lol

Elizabeth Petersen 2 years ago

Apple Bottom does just that.

Dumb {Squared} 2 years ago

Dear Liesl,

I’m buying you a drink one day. I’ll be the one wearing the jeans that gives me a wicked muffin top and flattens my ass like a pancake.

Cheers!
Me

Iggy 2 years ago

I love NYDJ. They come in slim fit, low rise, etc.

I am 50, a size 4 and like how these jeans make me appear. I look good. I look “hot” but I don’t look 18. See I am comfortable with my age and don’t want to look like I’m trying too hard (ie wearing clothing fit for my daughter).

Perhaps the writer should consider growing up? I hate buying jeans with a six inch rise, hitting any woman over the age of 13 in a bad spot. I like jeans that make me look great. She doesn’t like this brand? Try cheepho. Com and see what they have for you honey….

Perhaps you’ll feel 13 again. I embrace my age and my beauty and don’t need to denigrate others, or brands, to make me feel good.

    Em 2 years ago

    This is *exactly* what I was thinking, but couldn’t find a way to word it without sounding insulting. I have absolutely NO desire to wear low rise/skinny/boot cut/flare/etc. “kid” jeans. I’m a 37 year old woman with three children. When I go out, I dress comfortably, and my clothes are always neat, clean, and not stained. I’m welllllllll past the point in my life when I’m trying to look “hot” for other people, or give myself an ego boost. I’m perfectly comfortable with my body (as is my husband, wink wink) and I don’t feel the need to try to relive my youth by dressing like a teenage girl. I don’t think many women understand that even though you may have a nice rear end, perky boobs, etc., you *do* still have the face/wrinkles/crows feet/etc. of a middle aged woman, and it’s blatantly obvious (and kind of sad) that you can’t act or dress appropriately for your age.

      dawnm 2 years ago

      Actually I was probably insulting, but there is nothing more “yucky” than a gal past 30 trying to look 13. I guess that the writer and I have different goals. See I want to look attractive, I do care, and I do look good, but I don’t want to attractive the bus boy at Applebees. I want to attract a successful man, my husband :) and if I was single I’d hope to attract a man who would be comfortable dating a secure and mature woman who has opinions and ideas of her own, not a barbie doll in her daughters jeans.

        Liesl Testwuide 2 years ago

        Ladies, it’s just a humor column. It doesn’t mean I have degenerate life goals, merely a sense of humor.

Kate 2 years ago

Maybe they were trying to copy Oldsmobile when they said this is not your father’s Oldsmobile? Such a bad name I can’t bring myself to ever wear them, even if they were the best jeans ever. If they paid an agency for that campaign they should ask for their money back.

Ganzii 2 years ago

Target is the only place I can find jeans that fit me well, look good, and don’t cost a fortune. They’re like, $30 regularly and often on sale. Target has this whole “fit” system worked out with their Mossimo jeans – different rises, and “straight” or “curvy” fits, available in all sizes and combinations. They even have short and tall sizes there, which I NEED because I’m 5’8″ and regular jeans are too short on me. I know exactly what size and “fit” I need from there, so I can grab jeans without even trying them on and know they’ll fit!

Vicky 2 years ago

Can’t there be something between “My Crack And Muffin Top Are Showing Jeans” and “Not My Daughter’s Jeans”? How about “I’ve Had 2 Kids But Workout Daily And This Is As Good As It Gets Jeans”?
Vicky

    Liesl Testwuide 2 years ago

    I’d buy those jeans!

Marta 2 years ago

Love. I’d definitely buy a pair of MILF jeans. My one request is that while they don’t need to go my belly button, I don’t want a bikini wax to wear jeans.

Mama and the City 2 years ago

*sobbing*
I want to at least fit in my own 16-year-old pair of jeans. And, if my little one is lucky and fit in those when getting older, hell yes I would also want to fit in hers too.

*end of sobbing*

Lisbeth Thom 2 years ago

Loved your funny letter, Liesl Testwuide.

Jennifer 2 years ago

I had to see these jeans. NYDJ….Not gonna buy it. If and that’s a big IF considering I have two boys seriously into sports which equals no money for mom to splurge on jeans…IF I’m going to pay that much for a pair of jeans, the damn things 1) need to look like jeans and not stretch pants from the 80s and 2)better cover my ankles.
I wonder who buys those things and who they think they are fooling? NYDJ ’cause your daughter wouldn’t be caught dead in anything that looks like that…

Anita @ Losing Austin 2 years ago

YES!

I have been complaining lately about wearing only ‘mom jeans’ and wanting to find some that make me feel hot, and yet still maybe help suck in a bit- a good combo- but most importantly, makes this almost 40 year old feel like she hasn’t been shoved to the back!

anna whiston-donaldson 2 years ago

Oh my! Thanks for the laugh today. Already dreading jeans season…

Hallie Sawyer (@Hallie_Sawyer) 2 years ago

Why don’t they just pay moms to write their marketing material? Or better yet, ask moms what they want before they design a product just for us?!

Thank you, Liesl, for speaking for all mothers who would weep with joy if they could fit in their daughters’ jeans.

This post was hysterical! (Also, congrats on the weight loss, Liesl!)

Hillary 2 years ago

Rise and Shiners? Best line ever! Thanks for the laugh.

Nifer Staley 2 years ago

I went jeans shopping a few months ago and was overwhelmed with waist gaps, over stretchy material that doesn't hide anything, and the bejazzled back pockets that made my ass look like a lumpy disco ball. I came home with 3 new pairs of yoga pants and a DQ Blizzard. NYMJ are nacho friend.

Cindy Simonson 2 years ago

Awesome perspective and have to say this is EPIC, my friend. Also one with no daughters, but hey…still over 40 & need jeans to wear!

jhanis 2 years ago

Hilarious! Where do I sign the petition?!

Virginia Llorca 2 years ago

I saw this maybe fifteen year old girl at the mall wearing jeans with the rear pockets placed way low on the backside to push up her already too perky little ass. It hardly seems fair. Oh, well. I had my day in the sun with my perky ass way back then.

Jeanelle 2 years ago

So I HAD to look these up, following links posted by previous commenters (I also make up words, just not only when I’m cranky) and then straight to the horse’s mouth at NYDJ’s website. I can say that some of the pictures are more flattering than others for sure … on second party sites. The NYDJ site, however, features models who are miniscule to the point that one would certainly wonder WHY she would look for these jeans in the first place. But I digress. My real point here is that NYDJ states that all of their jeans “sit just above the natural waistline.” …. Excuse me? For jeans to “sit just above the natural waistline,” they’d have to sit just below the boobs. Which, lets face it, SCREAMS mom jeans. Furthermore, from the pictures on the same site, this simply IS NOT the case. Which leads me to my point: Do these people even know what a “natural waistline” is??? I refuse to trust a company which makes clothing and seems to not even know the correct terminology to use to describe said clothing. Check it out for yourselves and someone PLEASE show me the error in my logic!
http://www.nydj.com/NYDJ-fit.html
I think we’re all on the prowl for that perfect pair of jeans. We all have a different body, and no one jean will work for all of us. Which is why I think it’s poor business sense at the very least for this company to create jeans in a variety of styles that ALL fit the same from waist to thigh. I would think this would narrow one’s market segment so significantly that one could not possibly hope to avoid bankruptcy. But then I guess that’s why these jeans are $100+….. and I don’t know about the rest of you, but THIS mommy would much rather sport her yoga pants FOR.EV.ER than drop that kind of cash on ONE pair of jeans, even if they do take my ass from WayLow to JLo status.
Now, I’m not one to bitch without offering solutions. That said, who’s been to a Levi’s store lately? Personally, I think Levi’s Curve ID is BRILLIANT!!!! Check it out for yourselves!! Hopefully you’ll find it as amazingly awesome as I do, and you’ll learn to love your jeans again too! (And PS: These jeans will run you $40-$50, which, in my opinion, is fairly reasonable to begin with, but if you happen to have a Levi’s Outlet nearby, you can catch them on sale from $15-$25 like I did!!) Happy shopping!!!
http://us.levi.com/quiz/index.jsp

    Jeanelle 2 years ago

    So, correction on my part: I discovered these jeans IN an Outlet store, where the retail price is $40-$50 NOT on sale. The jeans you’ll find to shop on the site ARE admittedly more expensive than that, but still none over $100, and even some on sale through the site directly. Again; attempting to be helpful and hoping I’m successful! 😉

Frankie Lawson 2 years ago

I own 4 pairs of NYDJ pants, and 3 pairs of their capri pants. They’re super comfortable, and they fit me without needing to be hemmed (which at 5’2″ is saying something). No one has ever asked me what brand they were. One person did ask where I got them, and I said, “Nordstrom.” She said she asked because they fit me really well. Try a pair on, you might surprise yourself. And don’t judge a jean by its tag. Your butt and legs can’t read.

tracy 2 years ago

Okay – this post needs pictures! 😉 Hilarious!

MILF Runner 2 years ago

HAHAHAHAH! I am so down with this!!!! Every time I put on my Lucky Jeans, that little “lucky you” makes me smile and say “Damn straight, mutherfucker.”

MommaLynnea 2 years ago

as I said.. make some damn jeans for a woman who has a nice ass for Gods sake.. if they fit my ass they gap in the waist.. fit the waist their is no way to move in them. I have been curvy my whole life.. even when I was a size 6 I had an ass.. My ass is what got me my husband and he would NOT like it if I lost my ass. Honestly I wouldn’t either.. but jeans are not my friends

    Charity 2 years ago

    I feel your pain. Same problem here. I don’t own any jeans. But I love the way they look on other people!

      Kim 2 years ago

      I have the totally opposite issue. No butt, no padding.. just a straight line (it doesn’t help that I’m a whoppin 5 ft tall either). Maybe I should shop for you since I can only seem to find jeans that I can seriously put a couch cushion or two into the rear and carry a twelve-pack in the hips.. but they fit my waist. We won’t get into the length thing. Lord…. I know it’s been said before, but they really, REALLY need to use more realistic women to come up with their patterns. Anyone as small in waist and rear as I am that actually has legs as long as these jeans… well, picture Twiggy, but much taller!

Lynnea Perry Bennett 2 years ago

Love it.. but seriously.. jeans not my favorite piece of clothing to wear.. why do companies not make jeans for those of us who are bootylicious…

Eleanor Todd 2 years ago

AMAZING. THIS IS EPICCCC. Love it!

Kristi 2 years ago

Oh my gosh, I had to go look… I hate to make him feel bad, but those are BAD looking jeans! The crotch is baggy, or saggy or smiley, or whatever you want to call it – it doesnt fit! They are short, no waist and I can understand why no daughter (or mom) would claim them. That’s just a shame, I think your letter hit the nail on the head….

CClint 2 years ago

But, agreed, the name is horrid.

    Martine 2 years ago

    Why? Its saying that we don’t want to wear teenybopper fashions. It has very little to do with sizing. In fact if you look at daughters these days, they are really not all that thin. And if no one has blown the cue whistle, high rise jeans have been back in fashion for five years.

CClint 2 years ago

Ok, laugh all you want but I got these the other day and feel cute in them!
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/nydj-megan-faux-leather-trim-stretch-skinny-jeans-regular-petite/3502671?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=4861&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-1_14_A

As the first-time mom of a 13 month old, I’m struggling to get back into regular jeans, and the stretch on these, plus the cute leather accents, made me feel good. And I’m way younger than 40 btw!

R 2 years ago

OMG those jeans are awful!!! Not only that, they seem about 2 inches too short on the models! I’m a 34 year old mom and I would not be caught dead in those!

Lauren (Don’t Lick the Trash Can) 2 years ago

Loved this! Very funny!

Lesa Fields 2 years ago

True fact … Booty up… Wranglers … They make your ass look and feel great !

Debbie 2 years ago

Omg. I just looked up their site. Besides the awful name, the jeans look awful!
You, by the way, I’m sure look wonderful, and your post was hilarious!

Bec 2 years ago

Loved this!

Pam 2 years ago

Worst name for jeans EVER. This post was epic!

Shelly 2 years ago

OMG, hysterical!!!!!

    Martine 2 years ago

    I know! Is there anything out there that middle aged women WON’T complain about?

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