On Moving…and Moving On

47 Comments

baby-steps

We’re selling our home and moving. I know what you’re thinking. You’re totally jealous, because packing up a house you’ve lived in for six years, and while three kids are living in it, sounds like your idea of a good time.

I can assure you—it’s a mixed bag.

“The goal is to make it look like the prospective buyers’ home, not yours,” a realtor matter-of-factly advises.

I get the carpets cleaned. I scrub the dirt off the walls. The nail polish streaks, the grimy handprints, the errant crayon markings—it all (thankfully) comes off.

I straighten the closets, donate furniture, toss applesauce and breakfast bars long past their prime, gather and organize dozens of stray coins (husband’s), Lego pieces (kids’), and travel-sized moisturizers (mine). I tuck away the baby clothes and sleep sacks my kids have outgrown and we no longer need, until…

I unearth memories.

I find an old picture my husband took of me hours before he proposed. My eyes are cast downward as I stare intently at a VHS (!) case in a video rental store (remember those?), deep in thought over what to watch that night (oh our twenties!), flat-stomached (remember that?) and content. I look at it for a long minute. For some reason, I leave it out on my dresser.

I put away picture frames holding images of the boys—some showing those sweet, plump-cheeked baby faces I can hardly remember, others the playful smirks of a toddler.

I hide the kids’ favorite bedtime stories in drawers, pack up the “daily sheets” chronicling their years at day care—I’ve saved every one. I put the water table out by the curb on trash day, wistfully recalling the fun the boys had playing with it. This winter’s cold made it crack right down the middle.

I purge my closet and get rid of the skinny jeans. It’s liberating. I finally trash my law school outlines, but I keep that naively optimistic college paper on The Social Contract. Tucked away under the bed, of course.

I part with the rocking chair my mother had when I was a baby. After all, one arm is broken. It’s time.

I tidy and scrub and clean and conceal.

I try to make it seem like we never lived here. But we did.

This is the carpet on which my sons did “tummy time,” learned to crawl, and then walk. These are the hallways we paced to soothe our newborns to sleep. That’s the roof deck we ran to when my feisty firstborn would only settle in the fresh summer evening air. There’s the front stoop I sat on to pass the lonely, lovely days of my maternity leaves.

See that scratch on the back of the kids’ bedroom door? That’s from when my son kicked it so hard during a tantrum that he knocked it right into the bookcase. See those marks on the bottom of the kitchen cabinets? They’re from when my boys rode their bikes along the length of our first floor to blow off steam before bed or during the long, endless winter days when we couldn’t get outside.

See this staircase? That’s where I lay when I was in labor for the first time. From that top step, we counted and measured the intensity of those sweet, early contractions—the ones that started it all.

That front door? We walked through it with each of our babies as we brought them home from the hospital four blocks away. That rocking chair in the corner? I nursed all three of my sons there while “Baby Mine” played softly in the background.

Now we move on. It’ll be good for us, I know. A new state, new schools, new jobs, new friends, a new chapter. It’s good to have a fresh start sometimes.

But oh how I’ll miss these playgrounds! These familiar streets. The way my kids know the way from home to school by heart. How we can hardly make it to the corner without passing a friend or neighbor—how those have become one and the same.

But as I’ve cleaned and purged, I’ve learned. It’s not about these four walls. It’s not the house that makes it a home. What we’ve created here—this family, these memories—they’re coming with us. It’s not about the things, or even the places. It all makes you who you are. And you take that with you wherever you go.

We’ll do our best to make this house look like someone else’s home. For now, though? It’s ours. And in some way, it always will be.

Comments

The Scary Mommy Community is built on support. If your comment doesn't add to the conversation in a positive or constructive way, please rethink submitting it. Basically? Don't be a dick, please.

  1. 1

    chill says

    That was lovely — thank you for this!! I am in the process of both moving my family (to another country!) *and* cleaning out my mom’s house as she tries to recover from a stroke. Oh, the memories and what a struggle it is not to want to keep everything! Boy, I’m a mess these days, and I wish people would be more understanding when I’m not as excited as they are about moving to another country. Sigh… :’-)

    Show Replies
  2. 6

    says

    I’ll be going through this in July. We’ve lived in our little 800 sq foot apartment since my son was 14 months old (he just turned 7). Now that we are a family of four, we are going to have to expand. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to drive down our street without getting a little nostalgic.

    Show Replies
  3. 8

    says

    I found it very, very difficult to leave our first home. It was too small, it was falling apart in some spots, it was far away from family and needed work. But it was where my first two babies were born, it was our NEST, as crooked and lumpy as it was. I cried big crocodile tears when we left, despite the fact that our new home was (and is) worlds better.

    Show Replies
  4. 9

    Monica says

    We are right there. Packing up a house with 3 kids, getting ready for a new adventure- but sometimes getting swept up in the memories of all that has happened here in 10 years. This is where our family story started, the backyard where we played, the nursery turned pre-teen room. The stairs they learned to climb & fall on. It’s hard to be motivated some days because the unknown is so scary. But I still plug away- purging & boxing & packing. Thank you for the reassurance that somewhere else will be home too.

    Show Replies
  5. 10

    says

    My oldest daughter was 8 when we moved our family of 6 into a much needed bigger home. Two years later she still gets wistful and sad and says she misses our old home and all the fun memories we made there. I always remind her that the memories are in her heart, not in that house. And we just need time to make new memories in our new house. She’s getting there. :)

    Show Replies
  6. 13

    says

    As someone who gets to pack up the family and move every 3 years to a new state (or country) I can tell you it is a great way to get rid of the obnoxious, loud toys you hate (but the kids seem to love). “Darn it, that the movers must have lost that toy!”

    Show Replies
  7. 14

    says

    We are getting our house ready to sell and even though we’ve outgrown it, I know I will miss it! We’ve lived here 13 years and it’s the only home my 3 kids have ever know. 😢 Every box we move to storage is a trip down memory lane.

    Show Replies
  8. 19

    says

    Tears! We are currently moving from our house of 8 years. We’ve had some of the worst memories here, but also the best. It’s so hard to say goodbye to the place where I brought my boys into the world…

    Show Replies
  9. 20

    says

    My oldest was 3 when I moved from my first home back into the childhood home I grew up in. It was exciting to customize the house to my taste after growing up there. Now we are moving and I have 2 more kids (13yrs later). It’s going to be quite the experience!

    Show Replies

Load More Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>