20 Reasons I Prefer Online Moms Groups Over IRL Moms – Scary Mommy

20 Reasons I Prefer Online Moms Groups Over IRL Moms

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Social media has completely changed the “mom society.” For a multitude of reasons, online social networking has taken over. To be perfectly honest with you, I prefer it that way. Let’s face it: I’m impatient, and I’d rather do my socializing from the comfort of my own home with quick access to the block button.

Why? Here are the 20 reasons I prefer online moms groups to IRL moms:

1. Friendship

Moms groups give you a sense of camaraderie. No matter what you post, someone, somewhere, has been through it and can offer advice, or at the very least, empathize with your situation.

2. No Pants Required

This one doesn’t even need an explanation.

3. Perfect Moms

You don’t have to clean your house and put on the “perfect mom” show, handing out healthy snacks to perfect snowflakes who never misbehave. Your house can look like a bomb went off and the kids are eating fish crackers off the floor and no one will ever know.

4. No Playdates

You know the ones I’m talking about—where they stay just a little bit too long, the fights over the loudest toy fire truck are a little too intense, and you don’t have to deal with the possibility of not liking their kid. Hush. You know it happens.

5. You Can’t Block IRL

Facebook has this trusty little feature called the block button. Someone annoys you? Block! Someone’s a few fries short of a happy meal? Block!

6. Fashion Challenged

They don’t care what you’re wearing. Same pair of yoga pants four days in a row? Who cares! Your hair is in a knot on the top of your head because you haven’t slept in a week? Meh! Did I already mention the “no pants required” part? The only way they will even know is if you post a selfie in the daily selfie thread. Even then, grab an old one taken days before when you actually managed to shower, and it can be our little secret.

7. Not So Awkward

Disagreements are less awkward. If you had a huge argument with a mom online, you can simply ignore all her comments. You’re not forced to run into her in line at your local Tim Hortons and either awkwardly make small talk, or even more awkwardly, ignore each other’s existence.

8. Embrace the Lazy

You don’t have to leave your bed. You don’t have to spend the two hours it takes to get yourself presentable, the kids presentable, diaper bags packed, cleaning the inevitable poopy diaper just as you’re about to walk out the door, and you don’t have to remember where little Johnny’s left shoe is.

9. No Pants

This is a big one, so important that I feel the need to mention it three separate times.

10. Socialize at Your Convenience

No one will care if you don’t respond immediately because little Sally took the jar of peanut butter and tried to paint your cupboard. You can walk away from a conversation without the repercussion of it being considered rude. You don’t have to constantly deal with the interruption of “Mom. Mom. Mommy. Mama. Mom. Mommy. Mommy!” while you’re on the phone.

11. Potty Humor

No where else is it acceptable to socialize while you’re on the toilet. ‘Nuff said.

12. No Bra!

One of the best parts of a long day is coming home and removing the over-the-shoulder boulder holder. Getting your daily dose of adult conversation online never requires you to wear this contraption.

13. Any Day, Anytime

It’s 3 a.m. and someone is always up. Most mom groups accept members worldwide. So when it’s 3 a.m. and you can’t sleep, there is always someone to talk to.

14. Judgment

You know what I mean: the up-and-down looks and smirks from the group of moms huddled in the corner of the coffee shop. You know they’re totally judging you for the small chocolate pudding stain your child smeared on your shoulder, probably assuming it’s poo.

15. Silent Tantrums

You don’t have to explain your kid’s behavior. Little Johnny slept for a grand total of two and a half minutes last night and has been a basket case of grumpy all day? No one but you will know, unless you vent to your group.

16. The Group Hug

Sometimes, life happens in a bad way. I have seen multiple mommy groups come together for an individual and their family, offering incredible resources of love, kindness, and support.

17. Well…

I’m an asshole. Not a huge one. But I’m outspoken, confident, and not afraid of confrontation. In person, that can come across as just a tiny bit asshole-ish. Online, possibly a bit of a keyboard warrior. But who doesn’t like a good warrior?

18. Anxiety

It’s hard to meet new people. As a mom, it’s even harder than I could have imagined. Not only do you need to find another mom with common interests, sometimes different parenting styles come in to play. Let’s be honest here: Online you’re not sitting there anxiously worrying if everyone likes you, or if they’re judging your slightly too short haircut because the hair dresser didn’t listen to you, or if they’re questioning the fact that you use time-out as a disciplinary action. There’s way too much pressure in person to be that “perfect mom” that none of us ever are.

19. Learning New Things

Educate yourself. As I mentioned before, most online moms groups are globally accessed. This means you will be exposed to a multitude of various cultures and ways of parenting. You will repeatedly question your own opinions, possibly re-evaluating what you previously thought. You will become a better person because of this.

20. The Drama Is Manageable

We’re all moms. A lot of us don’t get a whole lot of sleep. Or enough hot coffee. Or enough sleep. Have I mentioned sleep yet? You get a large group of us together, and there is bound to be a differing of opinions. Sometimes we can all adult properly and look past those differences. But, on occasion, WWIII breaks out in the Mommy Group. The best part is that you can stand by your opinion, you can fight for your opinion, and you don’t have to back down from a disagreement for fear of it impacting your “real life.” It can be entertaining, and it’s an excellent way to break up the monotonous days of cleaning up, tears, feeding the kids…just another day in the life of a mom.

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