Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
@scarymommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- The Disney Reveal - May 14, 2013
- Met My Match At Disney… - May 13, 2013
- Sunday’s Baltimore Sun - May 11, 2013
I love to see my children happy. I live to see them healthy, well-adjusted and enjoying themselves. I want them to develop life-long skills now, and I want them to always feel comfortable in their own skin.
I’m a mother, after all.
But here’s the problem: I despise organized sports. If there were a magic potion they could drink every morning that would give them all of the admittedly wonderful social and physical benefits of organized sports — rather than actually playing those sports — I’d give it to them in a heartbeat. And that is saying a lot, considering that getting my kids to swallow liquid medicine that comes in delicious flavors like cotton candy and grape is like a scene out of The Exorcist.
Now, we’re not a super active family. The kids aren’t involved in 500 activities during the week and our weekends aren’t solely spent shuttling the kids from sport to sport. But, they do each pick a couple of sports that interest them and we try them out for fit. Some fit the kids better than others, but most of them don’t fit me in the least. I’m finding this whole sport thing incredibly overrated.
The drama starts at home. I swear, getting my kids ready for their Saturday morning tennis lesson is the hardest I work all week. While the kids scream, “but, I don’t wanna go” and “can’t we just skip it,” I find myself running around the house looking for the rackets that I swore were in the hall closet just 7 days ago and the socks whose mates have mysteriously disappeared.
Once we arrive at tennis, the torture continues. First, there’s all of the other people who paid good money to play tennis, under the assumption that the rotten kids in the court next to them would not be hitting balls into their space every five minutes. We lob balls their way, and they lob looks of death our way.
Then, there is always an injury, and, usually, one of my kids is behind it. Let’s just say that Ben doesn’t have the greatest depth perception and is known to swing his racket a little wide. Wide, as in right at another kid’s face.
Baseball has been no better. Neither has soccer. Both sports require that I do even more laundry than I already do. Who the hell thought white was a wise choice for baseball pants, anyway?! I’m thinking about going on strike and just letting my kids wear the same, grass-stained uniforms to their games each week. Maybe we can make a game out of it, like “name that grass stain,” where the kids have to recollect the date and place of each stain.
That would require actually being in possession of their uniforms, though. My kids, unlike their team mates, aren’t even in their approved uniforms most of the time, because we’ve inevitably lost them weeks before. For most of last fall’s soccer season, my kids wore green shirts, because they were on the green team but I had NO idea where their uniforms went. Probably the same place as the missing socks. But, a tad more expensive to replace.
Plus, no offense to my charming children, but watching them clumsily run around and miss balls is far less fascinating than my iPhone or a rest. If it were up to them, my eyes would be glued on them the whole time. If it were up to me, I’d be napping in the car.
Dreaming of weekends that didn’t involve sports.
{ 79 comments… read them below or add one }
Okay seriously!!! I hear you… More days than not, I leave my house at 7 am… to arrive home at 8pm, …. Lessons… recitals… stage…. killing me …. dead
Kerry :) recently posted..Mirror Mirror … Yes Please!
But this is your own fault!!!
To all the Mothers who over schedule their children and complain about it, stop it!
That’s all….
None of my kids are doing sports right now. It’s like HEAVEN!
mom taxi julie recently posted..Scrapbooking Weekend
We’re going into our 4th year of little league baseball and it makes my stomach hurt. Our 12 going on 13 year old daughter wants to play middle school golf. That in itself doesn’t make my stomach hurt but thinking of trying to get everyone where they need to be….yeah. Not cool.
Seriously… you’re not alone. And what about all the fundraisers and pep rallies and competitions? For football and cheer, they have to not only have their game day uniforms, but they have to have matching practice attire, as well. Also, don’t forget the team moms that apparently only live to participate in youth sports and constantly make you feel guilty for not doing as much as they do. Then there are the games where you actually have to be responsible for snacks for the whole team. Oh, and the endless shirts, etc, to buy for parents and family members… It’s a total racket. It’s exhausting…
Amanda recently posted..Lost and found
I couldn’t agree more!! I get so tired of the endless schedule, cost, laundry..but most of all how some of the other moms make you feel bad if you don’t just LIVE for it!
Loud and clear, sister. I told my daughter that if she whined about softball practice one more time, she was off the team. I don’t bust ass getting everyone to where they supposedly want to be to listen to that crap. And I know this sounds selfish but I really am glad that the son has opted out of rec sports entirely for the most part. Only going in ONE direction at a time! Argh!
Rebeccah recently posted..Summertime Quilt
I am so with you! But my husband is already talking about putting monkey man in sports. The kid is 2. I am not a happy camper. I am gonna hafta swallow this crap …. like always. Someone hold me.
imperfectmomma recently posted..it’s cause i’m a ninja
My girls play basketball and softball. I have pawned off going to the two hour practice on their friends mom. She is more then happy to sit and watch 7 to 9 year old drop and miss softballs. :)
Love that my kid isn’t interested in sports (neither was I at her age). She does art (I did music). When she asks to get involved, we’ll let her. Until then, our weekends and evenings are free. :)
Tara recently posted..Aidan’s First Spring
I have no words of advice, just commiseration. I haven’t spent much time with organized sports, as my now 11 yo daughter has never wanted to play any. She does dance, however. A lot. For lyrical, she has to wear this little pads on her feet that cost $25 a pair. Every Wed, I am filled with anxiety that we won’t be able to find one and I’ll have to waste money on yet another pair. I did send her to dance once barefoot just to see if she’d take more care of them. I didn’t work.
a Book for My Daughter recently posted..Update: In Defense of My Children
I have to disagree. My parents never forced us into sports or any other activity for that matter. But supported us in anything we wanted to do. I tried them all and gained tons of self esteem from sports and made lots of friends. My “sport” carried me through high school and I earned a college scholarship because of it. I thank my parents every day for the support .
I think some of it has gotten out of hand in the last 5 years but if I didn’t have my sport, I wouldn’t have gotten a college education.
Tracey recently posted..Lets talk about running
I agree My 2 sons My oldest is the more sport involved but hes 10 and his selfesteem in through the roof! I am glad cause you get those kids who dont believe they can do anything right! My youngest hes 8 and He has done things from dancing to sports and it’s hit and miss but never do i get tired of watching them gives me much pride to watch something they can strive and excell in! :)
Triple Ugh! The worst part about “organized sports” (in my opinion) is that they are NOT organized at all! Seriously, I do not think these coaches know what a calendar is or how to use one! Beyond frustrating!
I know exactly what you mean! I take my 6 year old son who has ADHD to baseball and all of the other parents with their 1.2 perfect children and feel like I’m being looked down on the whole time. I’m bored out of my mind when I’m not stressing out about how to be in multiple places at the same time with my 4 kids. To top it off, the boy who already gets in trouble for not sitting still at school all day in Kindergarten gets I’m trouble for rolling around in the grass when he’s bored in the outfield. He’s 6. This isn’t the big leagues. It’s supposed to be fun. Part of me really hopes he loses interest….. Bad Mommy.
Jennifer I have a son who is almost 9 who has ADHD(combined type). His psychiatrist told us to encourage non-team sports for him. She mentioned TaeKwonDo and that was a lifesaver us. The kids are always moving and since everyone moves forward at their own pace there is no pressure to perform. Also, there is no competition and a great sense of accomplishment.
Chris
Chris recently posted..Christmas Memories
We will probably do karate soon. He has begged to play baseball for 2 years. He loves it even though he’s not the norm. I was relieved when my older daughter quit softball years ago. We’ll see what happens.
Oh, Lord I’ve heard my sister sing that same song when my 2 nieces were all up into soccer.
I went with her a couple of Saturday mornings and I think I cursed more there than I did in Friday afternoon traffic.
In my mind, of course.
Now, one does piano and the other…does nothing. Which is totally ok with me.
Carrie recently posted..Boobs and hair ain’t the only things big in Texas.
You don’t need a magic potion, all you need is a yard or a park nearby, some neighbor kids, or to allow them to have their friends over to your house. The benefits of free play over those of organized sports happens to be one of the reasons why I limit my daughter to only one “team” sport a year if any, and why I’ve encouraged individual lessons in such things as, golf, swimming, and horseback riding. I could go into many of the reasons I have for doing this from how I want her to be independent to how I see a link between adulthood obesity rates and team youth sports, (what happens after graduation when children aren’t part of a team anymore), By allowing her friends to come over as often as they’d like I have the house all the kids want to play at. This allows me to know who my daughter is with and it allows them to try to work out their issues on their own with less rules and adult involvement. If you’d like the opinion of a well educated expert on the effects of organized sports you might be interested in checking out Peter Gray’s blog, Freedom to Learn, at psychologytoday.com. I highly recommend the entire blog, but the posts titled “Some Lessons Taught by Informal Sports, Not Taught by Formal Sports” and “The Morally Questionable Lessons of Formal Sports” relate closest to what you’re talking about.
I think it depends on the child, I have one who LOVES sports and loves all practices and games related to his sports and I have one who doesn’t want to really do any sports but kind of wishes he were out there with his brother sometimes so the one who loves it I sign up for whatever he asks to do and the one who doesn’t I sign up just for spring soccer because its all about fun and they all get to play and he actually likes it, runs around with a big grin on his face the whole time! The rest of the year I leave him alone, sports are not his thing and that’s fine by me.
People who sign their kids up and force their kids to do some sort of sport all year because they think they should are just wasting their time and money, unless its a passion nothing will come of it in the long run anyway.
I’m so glad my M&Ms (7 months & 21 months) are too young for organized anything yet. I dread the days of youth sports & have vowed that they won’t participate in anything “organized” until they reach middle school age. I would much rather they run around outside with friends, chase the dogs/cats/cows/pigs & come home exhausted & dirty as the last light of summer fades at 10pm.
If they don’t want to go and don’t enjoy themselves, why do you make them do it? Maybe they’d enjoy something other than sports–maybe an art class at the local community park rec center, or something nature related/inspired? I’ve never understood parents who sign their kids up for activities they don’t want to do. (And I am NOT bashing you, I promise!!) It’s especially true for those who make their kids play multiple sports or have two or three extracirricular activities going at the same time. Why? I know soccer, tennis, karate, etc. is great exercise and all, but isn’t that what the back yard and neighbor’s yards are for??
If the problem starts at home – then find a sport or activity they actually enjoy. Don’t force them to play tennis if gymnastics is more their thing. I’m the president of our local little league (baseball), and you can certainly tell the kids who want to be there vs the ones that don’t. Sports or any activity should be fun – not punishment. And I can definitely tell you my kids’ uniforms are NOT always clean…after all, they insist on sliding into every base so why bother if there is more than one game in the week? Forcing them to keep up with their own uniform and equipment teaches responsibility. After losing his 2nd glove, my 8-yr old had to turn over all the money he’d been saving for a new Beyblade toy to put toward a replacement glove. I’ve also told him if he loses this one, we switch to a new sport that doesn’t require equipment… What I hate about kids’ sports are the parents who complain about everything but are unwilling to help out…. those and the ones who forget it’s just a game… and it’s a kids’ game at that.
We’ve never been the organized sport family and I’m sure it’ll continue that way. My middle girl does play soccer now, but they practice at the end of the school day when she’d normally be in after care anyway. Their games are during the afternoon (sorry I’ll miss them, but I dispatch grandparents so at least there’s a presence. Also, grandparents LOVE that shit (or have become so good at faking like they love it that it doesn’t even matter)). My older girl just joined Girls on the Run. I think all they do is run around Capitol Hill. Um, OK then. As long as I don’t have to buy a uniform or show up to watch you run, we’re good.
Arnebya recently posted..Mirror Mirror. I’m Looking, But I Don’t Know Who I See.
l can totally relate! Three of my girls play soccer. I can’t even tell you how many times they have worn dirty uniforms to their games. Not to mention the mismatched socks. It drives my hubby crazy that our kids never have the matching socks to the uniform. Not crazy enough to hunt the socks down and wash them though. :) Me, I could care less. As far as I’m concerned it’s a success we get them to all of their games, 10 months out of the year!!!
Shannon recently posted..Easter Egg Hunts
I’m in agreement with Jennifer- if they don’t want to do it, don’t force it. Find something outside the box that they want to do – my younger son is taking fencing lessons- over the summer, swimming. That’s about all. He doesn’t participate in ANY team sports, he is profoundly gifted with ADHD, and it just doesn’t work, so we don’t inflict the pain on him, or ourselves.
My older son is very athletic, BMX racing is his life- as the other posters are saying, it really depends on the child, but all sports are elective/ voluntary, and should never be a chore or a shouting match.
Baguette is too young for organized sports, so we haven’t dealt with this from the parental side yet. I have no idea how I’ll feel when we get there.
As a kid, though, I know that my parents had us involved in multiple activities at any given time, including but not limited to Scouting, sports (soccer and basketball for my brother, softball for me), ballet (me, not my brother), and music. My mom wanted us to get a wide range of experiences, so she didn’t mind if we quit something–but we did have to finish whatever was paid for. You couldn’t quit mid-season, for example. But if you’d completed a season of something or made it through the recital and still didn’t like it, you could stop.
I think that’s going to be my approach. But I have no idea what I’ll do if she complains about something that she insists she wants to do.
Tragic Sandwich recently posted..New To Us
My 2 boys (7 & 10) are in little league baseball. The season is fairly short (3-4 months, depending on tournament success), and the boys get all the benefits of team sports – for 3-4 months out of the year. My youngest has spent an hour a week at gymnastics since he was 3, loving every minute of it. My oldest has experimented some, doing dance, aikido, and now fencing – all about 1-2 hours a week.
Athletics of some sort are necessary, given how much the schools have cut back on PE. But sanity of the family is just as important – which is why I refuse to overschedule our family. Gymnastics, fencing, scouts – they all stop for baseball season.
I guess I’m odd chick out…. I enjoy it! The truth is I enjoy having that hour of sitting, even if it is on a hard bleacher & my bum is going numb. I just sit there, sleeping with my eyes wide open and a grin on my face… just sitting! lol
I treated myself over the winter… I mean I enrolled my kids in an indoor Sports PE class; they just happen to have a really cool lounge, AC and wi-fi… It was awful, but I managed :)
Amy recently posted..Busted
I love free wi-fi…that was the biggest perk of my youngest’s hockey practices & games. I sat in the warm concession area with my iPad every Monday & Wednesday. The other two kids were at home and I had peace & quiet.
New Lisa recently posted..What’s In Your Backpack?
Do you live near me?! The last two years my girls have been going to figure skating once a week (the season lasts for over five months). Last year and this year, the first two months I would freeze my butt off on the bleachers watching them (arena totally unheated). The last three months I sit in the warm lobby with my laptop and wi-fi. Of course, the girls love skating and refuse to give it up. I gave my oldest daughter the choice of two activities next year and of course, she chose the two that are most expensive and take up the most time (skating and dance). Younger daughter can only choose one. She chose skating. They are also in Girl Scouts but that only meets once a month.
i agree, and the soccer moms are enough to make me vomit… I know this sounds rotten but I was glad my kids gave up interest in sports and never excelled so I didn’t have all the traveling teams and whinging parents who think their kid is the next Pele, A Rod or Tom Brady.
Vodka Logic recently posted..Concert Recap
I grew up playing sports and like them. Seems like my kids are liking them, too. BUT I do NOT like the psycho parents who think their kids are God’s gift to athletics/that my kid brings the team down/that we all need fancy embroidered hats with our kids # on them/that we need a half-time snack AND an end of game snack/that their kids are God’s gift to athletics/that we should all have bumper stickers with our kids’ # on them/that we should practice more than once a week/that their kids are God’s gift to athletics.
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My young kids are all 5 and under and while we do want them to have the experience of youth sports, we have already decided they can play one sport a year. There will not be soccer AND baseball AND basketball and, and, and…
Just one and just one season. For example now there is little league but it doesn’t stop there. There is also fall ball. I think it gets too out of hand with kids playing sports all year long.
Deb recently posted..Where is Leo? He is in Michigan!
My daughter plays softball and basketball. I can only assume she’s fine cause I’m too busy on the sidelines comparing myself to all the adorable, pulled-together looking moms chatting like old college roommates to pay any attention to what my daughter is doing/not doing on the field/court. A nap in the car is a genius solution! Thanks!
Mary (ateachablemom) recently posted An Ava Hug
Mary recently posted..An Ava Hug
Pull them out until they are interested.
They can socialize with kids in the neighborhood.
I’m with you, I detest organized sports for kids.
m.
Mark recently posted.."She’s Got Legs"
My kids have not gotten involved in organized sports as of yet and I’m pretty OK with it, I must admit.
Just Jennifer recently posted..Oh, the Guilt! Part 2
You’re making me very glad that my son’s soccer league has the kids wear black shorts. So much better than baseball’s white pants.
My husband and I switch off taking him to practice, because sitting around waiting for it to be done is boring. Fortunately, my son loves soccer, so it’s not hard to get him there. My oldest daughter hated it, so she only had to finish the season she signed up for. I don’t make my kids participate in activities they don’t like a second time, but especially when you’re on a team, there’s a commitment there which I consider a valuable lesson. She has since picked other activities she enjoys, and fortunately most don’t involve any significant extra effort on my part, since they’re just after school activities, and we’re within 5 minutes walk of the school.
Stephanie recently posted..6 Ways to Manage Your Work at Home Day
I was thinking of enrolling my two year old daughter in dance class. Your post made me realize what a crazy notion this is. Thanks for saving me, Jill.
Mommy Mind Trip recently posted..The Most Interesting Dad in the World
Just wait til the RECITALS. EEEEEK!
I actually like all of the little league sports my boys do, but that may be because I miss at least half of their games and practices due to my work schedule. My husband never misses a single one and loves every minute of it. I hate doing the extra laundry though. For my boys 12 basketball games last season, I washed their uniforms a grand total of three times. If anyone could tell the difference and cared, I would have let off with a whole slew of curse words at them! My boys absolutely refuse to draw a single picture though and I am thrilled that I’m not having to constantly ‘recycle’ their artwork!
Amanda recently posted..A Look At The Thoughts Running Through A Boy’s Head While Playing Sports
Ooh, I think “name that grass stain” could catch on. You could write the name and date with a bleach pen across the older/nearby stain.
Alissa recently posted..Baby, There’s A New Blog In Town
After being a travel widow schlepping 2 to gymnastics while they did not want to go and having to stay during it and watch the 3 younger kids and try to keep them from being totally annoying to the parents sitting there on their freaking computers and phones, I told him we could SAVE $100 per month and MY SANITY and THEIR sanity if we just let them skip it. Now I only sign them up for shit they ASK to do, BEG to do :-) BTW, I suck at all sports so I’m very supportive of my kids not doing them. Then there’s kid #5, who is a 2-year-old basketball pro already. Dangit.
The driving to and fro and the basic torture DOES suck…..until they find that magic sport (or activity) that they absolutely love! Then? Then, even if you don’t care for it (football) you become THAT mom.
Ask me how I know.
Gigi recently posted..And THAT is how I found myself creating a tutorial about indoor fountains.
I love to watch my children do something that is fun for them. Are they the best at whatever sport they are playing? No. Are they having a blast? Yes. Do they see me and Dad watching whenever they look up? Heck yes! They know that we love them and support them…we are always there. We are not checking phones, reading books, and boo hooing about how it isn’t fun. If your kids don’t want to be in a sport, then don’t do it. I’m always saddened by the disinterest a lot of parents seem to have when it comes to their kids.
I go to all my kids games but bring a book. I’m not disinterested in my kids, I’m disinterested in all the highly intense parents sitting around me. I read my book and watch my kids when they are at bat. I am with my children 24/7 except when they are in school. I’m involved and interested in everything, but I’m not going to get sucked into the vortex of the parents near me trying to relive their childhoods. And, I may be reading, but at least I am there.
New Lisa recently posted..What’s In Your Backpack?
I’m your biggest fan, Lisa. You said it perfectly.
I just ignore the highly intense parents..without a book. I’m with my kids 24/7 literally. I homeschool them. If you want to read a book, fine. I choose not to. If I’m supporting my kids, then it’s 100%. I’m there to watch them and cheer them on…practice and games.
Ack, ack, ack. By the time my kids are old enough to get into organized sports, I’ll be in my 40′s. Can I use my old age as an excuse to not shuttle them around, do a million loads of laundry and deal with the inevitable whining?
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Rocking This Motherhood Gig
Ooh, I’m stealing that one. I’ll be 41 this summer and my 2-year-old is gearing up into this stuff while my other 4 kids had no interest in sports. Nah, they won’t take the old age excuse and will just throw B12 vitamins at me.
I am going to be 43 and I am one of the coaches. I love getting out there with the kids and playing. It is awesome and I am sincere when I say that.
Jack@TheJackB recently posted..Writing Is Not The Hardest Part Of Blogging
My situation is slightly role reversed in that my kids love every sport in the world – they just don’t want me on the sidelines. You see, I am the parent who none of the other parents want to sit near since I can’t stop screaming and cheering no matter how hard I try. As a compromise I have taken to watching games from the car where I can scream my head off and not embarrass my children.
Jessica @FoundtheMarbles recently posted..Kids and Common Sense
I’m already grappling with the issue or organized sports and my kid is only two! My biggest beef with it is that it’s too adult-controlled. Until they reach middle school or so, kids really would benefit more from kid-controlled games, where they get to make up their own rules, play with the equipment however they want and build social skills naturally.
Sadly we don’t have too many neighborhoods set up these days where kids can just go over to the neighbor’s house and grab some friends to play ball, so I can see why joining a league is the next best thing. My son seems to like watching kids play baseball so I’m not sure how I’ll deal with it once he’s “of age.”
Sleeping Mom recently posted..Why forcing kids to say sorry may not be a good idea
Exactly! I grew up in a neighborhood of SAHMs and kids my own age. We were always outside from dawn till dusk or at each other’s houses. Now there are very few children in the last two neighborhoods we’ve lived in and I have always been the only SAHM for blocks. Even if there are kids around they are in daycare all day and not around to play with my kids.
The only way for my kids to play with other kids outside of school is organized activities and day long playdates (because they get pulled out of daycare for the whole day in order to play at our house)
That’s what I love about this blog … we are all so freaking different and it’s okay. I think you all rock.
My son has been playing soccer now for seven years and I love it. It has been outstanding and something that has really helped him.
But I am really thrilled with what I see from my daughter. She plays soccer and basketball and it is great to see what it does for her confidence and self-esteem.
Yes at times it can be boring or feel like a shlep but it really does good things for them. Learning how to be part of a team and work with people you might not like helps in so many different ways.
And there is nothing better for the kids than watching dear old dad tell that obnoxious father to shut the fuck up or he is going to rip off his head and…well you get the rest.
Sometimes I forget that having a deeper voice makes it hard to whisper. The kids are wonderful in sports, but the parents, well some of them suck.
P.S. Your kids are young so if you are lucky you have another 15 years of this. ;)
Jack@TheJackB recently posted..Writing Is Not The Hardest Part Of Blogging
I can barely bring myself to watch professionals play sports, why would I want to watch my poor kids? I know its important to be athletic, and being on the team is good. I know that I was genuinely disappointed when my parents wouldn’t let be go out for the volleyball team, it conflicted with math team, and so went any hopes of high school popularity with it.
Anyway, my kids are still a bit young, and playing out in the yard, or playground with the additional swim lesson is plenty for now. I’m going to try to forestall organized sports for as long as possible. We live in Buffalo, or shall I say Ontario East, meaning that for both girls and boys hockey is the sport of choice. Someone told me it was kinda like the Israeli Army, its going to be at least 2 years in hockey before they go to college. I can smell the pads from here.
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That is so funny! My kids are the exact opposite. They signed themselves up for sports in school and they make sure I know when they need to be there. I’m glad because I am not active at all!
Christina Rodriguez | The Diva’s Home recently posted..New Project for Diva by Design
White pants are my nemesis??? My son is in baseball and no matter how many times I bleach them nothing works. I had to just go buy another pair. And the injuries are true. My son was hit in the hand today.
Holly at 300 Pounds Down recently posted..Revisiting some goals
I have absolutely NO coordination. My mom lovingly refers to me as her “little ballerina.” So if my daughter is anything like me, I’m guessing I won’t have to deal with after school sports much – or I’ll be washing more than grass stains out of her uniforms. Definitely one or the other.
Motherhood on the Rocks recently posted..YOU DID WHAT?! SHARE YOUR MOTHERHOOD MISHAPS
I hate organized sports, too. I get the value of them- but only in theory. In reality- they are just a pain in the ass.
Shell recently posted..Monsters and Bedtime Battles
I think it depends on the sport. When my daughter was doing conventional sports (softball, soccer) by the end of the season we were both fried, stressed out, and sick of it.
Then she started roller derby. She loves it and is good at it, I love it, and it’s fun hanging out with the other parents. I very rarely need to prod her to go to practices, which was CONSTANT when she was in softball.
Melonie recently posted..C is for Chest Hair
Hang in there! I finally got to the point that I didn’t have to do all that. They changed to things that have two-three concerts a year, and the school does all the teaching!
Here’s to making your own life easier!
Sweety Darlin recently posted..I declare this to be Dysfunctional Week!
Those days are coming! Maybe it’s because I was one of those kids who said, “Can’t we just skip it today?” over and over, and my parents said, “No!” over and over I have a feeling I’m going to be one of those parents who love having a kiddo in sports. I was a swimmer (which is a year-round sport) for 13 year. I don’t remember weekends w/o swim meets. I find myself getting bored on the weekends, wishing my little guy was old enough to be involved in something. Maybe I will change my mind when the time comes and the alarm clock goes off on a Saturday….
Cassie recently posted..A Week with My Baby
At least your pants are white and you can bleach them. Ours are gray. Who came up with that color?
Too funny! My daughter is such a pain in the ass when we have to get ready for ballet on Saturday mornings… actually, she’s a pain in the ass every morning! HA!
meagan recently posted..sanity renewal
So very true. The older they get, the worse the scene gets but at least they will be vested, hopefully, in the sport(s) they continue as teenagers. However, if they pitch a fit and don’t want to go, just sit down and have another cup of coffee. Life’s too short to fight with the kids about going to tennis/soccer/baseball/irish dancing/karate etc.
Today’s children’s sports are ridiculous. The parents, the coaches and all the practices….Why do children have to chose one sport? Basketball all year, softball all year…it’s truly sad. When I was in high school, I did different sports throughout the year. I was a pretty good athlete. I don’t shove sports down my kids throat. I do expect them to do well in school. I tell them that education is something that nobody can take that away from them. It’s something that they’ll have for the rest of their lives. If they choose to do a sport, they’re asked to do their best. If they start fine, if they don’t fine. Sports shouldn’t rule lives. Everyone forgets that sports are an extra curricular activity. If you need to miss a practice, miss it. If you need to miss a game because you’re travelling to visit relatives, miss it. I think that if people would remember family first, then sanity the world might be a better place……
OMG!!! See now I thought I was the only mom in the planet who absolutley dreads “organized” sports. By the way there is nothing organized about it, I don’t appreciate having to drop whatever I’m doing in the middle (12pm) of MY Saturday to go watch a bunch of kids who really don’t want to be there anyways. I have 2 teen boys who are in track and football during the week. The last thing I want to do is worry about uniforms, shoes, and the extra laundry on the weekend…
I love those folding, umbrella-type lawn chairs, meant to carry with you for watching sports. I spent many an hour in one of those comfy things, reading a book under a big hat while the boys slammed back and forth playing youth football. I took a few naps curled up in those chairs, as well. Some of the best sleep I’ve ever had.
Now it’s the grandboy playing football for the parish, bless ‘im. He’s got his parents and his opposite-side grandpa, a coach, to run the show. I might even go watch a few games now, by choice. But I’ll still bring my hammocky chair.
Yes, yes, yes! I felt the mommy guilt lift as I read this. As a mom of 3 girls (6, 8, and 10) I struggle daily with these decisions…is it enough? is it too much? My oldest is content doing dance, only, and no sports, after attempts at soccer and flag football. I don’t want to make her do any extracirricular she won’t like anyway … but I felt “guilty” because her peers are all in competitive sports and the pressure from other parents that we should be doing this, too. My 2 youngest do dance, gymnastics, and piano…happily. Our weekends and most evenings are free for family dinners, free play with friends, and stress-free homework sessions.
although my screen name may decieve, im the one who plays roller derby. that being said, my 8 year old wants to play and join everything… including (noncontact) jr. roller derby. i have to say no to her for the derby which is hard (“you play so why cant i?”) because i know what kinds of injuries can come from it. although its an amazing sport with a lot of benefits, it can also be an expensive one with all the different skates and skate parts, pads, helmet, mouthguard. i would be happy if she wanted to do something like basketball!! potential doctor bills would be a lot less!!
Amanda…..and every other mother, girl, or woman – out there……
DON’T compare yourself to other mothers constantly….you are making YOURSELVES sick by doing this..! And Amanda, take responsibility for your very own feelings – no other mother “makes you feel guilty.” Ridiculous and whiny……grow up!
My 11 year old has been involved in dance since she was 3. Along with piano lessons and Summer swim team, youth group among other things that pop up… however i feel guilty that my 8 year old daughter is only doing half of the activities if that! I just get so worn out, i feel i can’t sqeeze another thing in. I am married to wonderful man & father that works the late shift… So i am basically a single mom in the evenings. I know i just need to let the guilt go, but it is hard at times when my little one wants to sign up other activities!
As a completely non-athletic mother to a completely non-athletic child, I couldn’t possibly agree more. For awhile my husband was hell bent on getting her into a team sport (he IS athletic), the kid and I just kept shutting him down. I really don’t get forcing your child to do things in which they have no interest because “everyone else does it”.
That said, I hate our jocktocracy culture anyway, so I really don’t get moms who tout playing team sports as vastly superior over traditional “girl” activities. I’m also not big into overscheduling your child, anyway.
We did ballet for 5 years when she was younger, for as long as she enjoyed it (she sucked). Eventually SHE even realized it wasn’t for her (plus the schedule no longer worked) and quit. We also tried weekly martial arts class, which she ditched when her dyslexia caused a lot of left/right confusion and instructor embarassment. I’m glad we tried both though.
During this time, my daughter DID discover (on her own, with no formal instruction until she entered an art focused magnet middle school) she was a gifted visual artist. She also realized what she liked best about ballet was being on stage (and transferred that to acting). Luckily for us, all her interests are met in school these days.
Buyt I still hate organized sports for kids.
after years of sitting behind the goal avoiding all parents at all costs, hsb finally said go over there and make friends. We’ll be sitting next to these people for the next 10 years of our lives. I went over, introduced myself, and proceeded to blog and tweet about their every move! Best thing I ever did!!!!
kathykate recently posted..Secrets of the Traveling Va-Jay-Jay
Carpool. I have it down to a fine art. I’m the mom of two boys who love sports. We are primarily a year-round swim family but also have lacrosse, soccer and CCD in there. Swimming and lacrosse are our carpool sports. That means that half the time is all my attendance requires at most, depending on the size of our carpool. For lacrosse I walk the track that surrounds their practise. For swimming I volunteer during the meets to make the time fly.
My kids don’t need me for validation. The sports should help them find that in themselves. They only need me for chauffeuring and a few dollars for the concession stand:)
My wife loves sleeping in on Saturdays as our kids 14 and 17 are not sport oriented, my 17 year old is stong and coordinated, but as my dad pit it “does have the fire in the belly”.
The only thing that gets me is other parents comment:”So which sport is you son/daughter in? The implication is if they are not, your family is one big looooser!
How about “it is none of your frickin business and I really do not apprecaite your imlication and beside I work all week, on Saturday the last thing I want to do is drive 5 hours to watch a fricking soccer match and get home at 6pm…I have a life too that does always have to involve “little Johnny”…
But then that would be in poor taste and now I really am the looser, so I get my coffee at you name the hangout and walk back home in my lovely Almaden valley feeling not so ccol…Dam it!
Try junior roller derby! I swear, my daughter hasn’t worn matching elbow pads/wrist guards for more than a week since she started three years ago! At least with derby, it’s kinda cool to mismatch. :)