Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
@scarymommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- The Disney Reveal - May 14, 2013
- Met My Match At Disney… - May 13, 2013
- Sunday’s Baltimore Sun - May 11, 2013
Melissa lives in the DC metro area with her four kids, two dogs and a very patient husband. She writes to keep herself sane. When not writing or arguing with teenagers, Melissa can be found on the back of her hubby’s Harley, trying to run away from it all, even if only for the afternoon. Melissa blogs about life at www.multitaskingmama.com.
Sometimes, I read blogs about the terrible two’s and chuckle. Not because I am laughing at the exhausted and desperate mom’s. I am not that mean. No, I laugh because those moms have no idea what they are in for in ten years. As the mom of four teenagers (19, 18, 15 and 13), I can pretty much guarantee that the terrible 2’s, potty-training woes, how to get your toddler to stop biting- yes, I dare say all of those issues pale in comparison to the terrible tween/teen years.
Allow me to do a little vocabulary comparison:
To the mom of a two year old, “no” usually initiates a throw-himself-on-the-floor-and-look-back-to-make-sure-mom-is-watching temper tantrum followed by a time-out, Super Nanny style. To moms with a fifteen year old, “no” initiates an “I-hate-you-I-have-the-strictest-parents-ever” door slamming, take away the cell phone and ground him for a month tantrum followed by the sullen, angry teen ‘tude with full on silent treatment until said grounding is over or they see the error of their ways and want to be all sweet and loving to see if they can get their cell phone back early.
To the mom of a two year old, “trash” means the broken Happy Meal toys that they don’t want to part with. To moms of a seventeen year old, “trash” refers to the highly questionable “just friends” they bring home to meet the parents. ‘Nuff said.
To the mom of a two year old, “let’s go bye-bye’s” means play dates and trips to Chick-fil-A so you can enjoy a peach milkshake in peace while your child plays in the play space. To the mom of tweens, getting in the car and keeping track of all of your child (ren)’s extra-curricular activities requires Google calendars synced to the smart phone and a GPS positioning system to make sure everyone is at the right place at the right time. Not to mention, a fuel budget that exceeds even the grocery bill.
How about meals? Feeding a two year old means catering to their favorites, cutting up their food so no one chokes on their hot dog and making sure the insert thingys are clean for their sippy cups. Feeding a teenage boy means cooking enough food to feed a small country while mentally preparing for what they will eat a half hour later when they are hungry…AGAIN.
No more holding mama’s hand to cross the street. No, teenagers are equipped with laminated cards that give them permission to operate three thousand pound moving vehicles. And, to make matters worse the law requires the parent be in the passenger seat so we can all go to heaven simultaneously.
In all seriousness, parenting teens is the hardest stage of parenting {at least for me} by far. My hubby jokes that God gave us the elementary years to enjoy our children before we woke up one morning and realize that they have been invaded by pubescent hormones and attitude and are no longer recognizable.
I don’t want to leave you with no hope, as that is not my inspirational style. So, I will conclude with the pro’s to having older children in hopes that you will forget the horror of the aforementioned behaviors.
No need for a babysitter. As long as you threaten your teens with certain death if they invite anyone over or beat up their younger sibling in your absence, you and the spouse can enjoy date night whenever you want. Frozen pizza for the kids, hibachi for the parents FTW.
Less housework. If you do this parenting thing right, you don’t ever have to do dishes again. We have a daily rotation and I can’t tell you the last time I had to dust, vacuum or wash dishes. The only laundry I do is mine and the hubby’s! Holla!
Comedic relief. Teens/tweens get themselves in to some pretty comical situations. And, what kind of mom would I be if I didn’t share those moments with my friends and laugh hysterically at my child’s expense? After this many years of parenting, you have owned the right to laugh. You should ask me about my oldest son and the leg shaving incident…no, really you should!
Redeemable moments. My kids are good kids. And every once in a while, the sweet 8 year old that I remember shines through the fog of puberty and I realize that, given another year or three, my kid turned teen-monster will be an adult that I will truly enjoy hanging out with.
Are you looking forward to the teen years?
{ 109 comments… read them below or add one }
not at all, with two girls, so many things worry me when they are teens!!!!!!
Skye Diaz | motherhood, etc. recently posted..dreams: shattered by motherhood?
I have a 7 year old and 9 year old daughter who I hoped I would navigate successfully through teendom. However, I am writing this to you from the great beyond. Because after reading your post I died from anxiety. And I left a note for my husband to send you my girls.
The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful recently posted..Welcome To My Nightmare Vlog
I have just begun the journey (he is 13). I keep remembering what my Mom said “one day you went to bed a sweet little girl who liked me, and the next day you woke up a pain in the butt who had decided that I was the enemy”.
I can’t wait.
It is a war, honey, a war. I know, I know, it’s hard to believe for those of you still with cute little tots…but listen to those of us in the trenches and weapon up now. You have been warned.
Enjoyable post.
HerMelness Speaks recently posted..More From The Black Widow Chronicles: Supermarket Shopping, The Sixth Stage Of Grief!
” And, to make matters worse the law requires the parent be in the passenger seat so we can all go to heaven simultaneously.”
OMG I just had to shove my hand over my mouth so I wouldn’t wake my husband and 9yr old (he’s sick and decided to crawl in with us). LOLOL
This is why my husband is teaching our 16yo daughter to drive.
I LOVE and LOATHE having a teen. She is amazing, gifted, talented and so sure of herself, I wish I had been her in high school. Just half the confidence and I would have wound up far better.
BUT. Then there are weeks like last week when she announces to us, on our 19th anniversary, that she has broken up with her BF of 2 1/2 yrs. OY the drama and tears (from both of us). And then she does it again, climbing out of her black hole, clawing and scratching and learning from this to be a better version of who she was.
I have a rough time with infants and toddlers. And as many times as my daughter makes me want to pull my hair out (especially when we “cycle together”–men be afraid!) there are so many beautiful moments where I have to admit that I love having a teen daughter.
Headacheslayer recently posted..Support the Sophie Lancanster Foundation
Love and loathe..that is a great way to put it!
Melissa recently posted..Living Faith, Dead Faith
Pefect! I am dealing with the second batch of teens…but Praise God I have 3 adult children (NONE in prison!!!) so I know there is light at the end of the tunnel…plus this place is so crowded most move out as soon as they are 18 LOL
Cate8 recently posted..Cheaper by the Dozen
Parents worry so much about setting their kids up for life in so many ways. I think sober, not in prison nor living with you is as much as you really need to accomplish to win at parenting. The rest is up to them.
Oh no! I am totally worried about it now. I mean, I sort of knew all of these things would happen, but that sounds like pure craziness! : (
Good luck.
Life with Kaishon recently posted..Photographer Interviews {an excuse}
Well said! I’m there, too. 15 year old girl, 11 year old boy and my husband’s 23 year old son who lives here because he’s finished with college and can’t find a job. It’s a roller coaster-that’s for sure.
I have two daughters, only 18 months apart. I figure that when they’ve turn into fully grown teenager spawn I’ll be able to write a soap opera based on my experiences, sell it to the highest bidder and reel in the Euro’s or Dollars by the million…
Tinne from T and T recently posted..Ode to Cheese!
My favorite part is : “Feeding a teenage boy means cooking enough food to feed a small country while mentally preparing for what they will eat a half hour later when they are hungry…AGAIN”
Yes. I have 3 sons and according to them there is “nothing good to eat” in the house. Ever. My grocer added an in-ground pool with my monetary donations.
Once upon a time, I was the awesomest mommy in the universe. Now Sarah is 15. And I am suddenly totally the meanest, most embarrassing mother in the world, and my clothes are so old-lady, and I need to take lessons on how to wear make-up, and I’m a slave-driver, and, Mommy, can I have $20?
lauren scheuer recently posted..Lil’White Goes Shopping
I did leave out the part about constantly asking for money from the tree in the backyard, didn’t I? ;)
Melissa recently posted..Living Faith, Dead Faith
Tell us about the leg shaving incident! My girls are 10 and 8 and the boy is 2 (today!). I am half anticipating, half dreading teendom. Cause tween is, um…interesting.
Arnebya recently posted..Wordful Wednesday: There’s a Bra For That
Parenting the kids who are in teen is a really difficult task sometime. And I am going through that situation but after reading this article I have learnt few of the things before I give order to my teens.
I love it. I do not know if I a ready for three teenage girls. Holy moly!
Seriously Sassy Mama recently posted..Pumpkin Spice Latte
“And, to make matters worse the law requires the parent be in the passenger seat so we can all go to heaven simultaneously.”
This, seriously, was my favorite part of the article. Also, I’m thankful that I will never have kids :)
My twin boys are 5 my daughter is 3, and I seriously dread 10 years from now when they hit the teens together. I will keep my troublesome threes, and Kinder homework PLEASE! no obe is getting a drivers license in this house til 30! Lol! ;)
“And, to make matters worse the law requires the parent be in the passenger seat so we can all go to heaven simultaneously.”
GREAT! But this part was my favorite, I really had to work hard not to snort my coffee. :D
Oh Em Gee!!!! I love this post like you do not even know! You put all of it so elegantly!!! I am forever saying to my friends who only have young kids that I would give anything for my kids to be little ones again cuz they are soo much easier, so much less stress and o ya they don’t talk lmao! I am posting this blog to every social network I belong to for all my gf’s to read so they can see what I am talking about! I love how you said we have the right to laugh! Heck yes we have! I am all about sharing my kids funny things! Just the other day I cam across a video from a couple yrs back of my daughter who loves herself in every sense of what that entails videoing herself and saying hi it’s me, I love myself, I’m really so cool and blah blah blah, omg I was lmao so hard, she saw I posted it and her response was this is not acceptable and said naw its good lol! Anyways Thx so so very much for posting this!
Jenny recently posted..jen7677: RT @SheQuotesNow: "Don’t let anyone judge you by your vulnerability as a woman. Be brave enough to be exposed." ~ @CoachingChoice #quote …
Well, not to poo-poo on your parade of sympathy, but I have a 13 year old AND a 2 year old. So…. yeah….
*bowing down* that would be the hardest combination!
Melissa recently posted..Living Faith, Dead Faith
Thanks Melissa. I needed a shot of sympathy. Now I feel better. Actually, raising a 13 year old girl and a 2 year old girl, is not all that different. There are lots of temper tantrums, tears one minute then laughter the next. They both test their boundaries with me, make me laugh, make me cry and both of them keep stealing my necklaces! ;-)
ahhh! Me too!!! happy happy joy joy……
I’ve seen glimpses of teenage behavior in my 6 yo daughter. I am definitely terrified. Slamming doors, I hate you mommy. Well, maybe on the flipside I can prepare, that’s what I tell myself anyways.
OneHonestMom recently posted..Why honesty?
I have a new teen and a sort of tween, both girls and they are thus far – a pleasure … let me remain in my happy place for as long as i can .. do not burst the bubble just yet!
HOORAY for you being here! HOORAY!
You just scared the bejesus out of me. But whatever- HOORAY!
XO
Galit Breen recently posted..A Modern Love Story
Sons are 14&15 daughter is 8. I’m living that life and its the most terrifying thing I’ve ever done. Thank God I’m not the only one :)
I love this one! I am a mother to a 13 (14 next month) year old and a 21 month old. I get to enjoy the teen years right along with the terrible two’s! What joy! My oldest is a really good kid – I have been spoiled – but his teen years are definitely starting to shine through… from that glare when you ask him who he’s talking to on the phone to the complete silence when you ask him just about any question… I miss the days of him coming home from school with so much to talk about! At least I have the toddler to look forward to all of this again (including another round of the teen years!)
My kids are 17 and 20. The elementary school years were the golden years. Heavy sigh. The hormonal swings will eventually subside (theirs and mine!) and peace will be restored in about another 5 years or so.
Carpool Goddess recently posted..FB friends, I want create a "Welcome page". But this goddess doesn’t have a clue…
Well, I WAS looking forward to the teen years. Actually, maybe not. My daughter is a lot like me, personality-wise, and I wasn’t the best teenager. Oh geez, off to play with my kids while they’re still only crying about wanting a sucker before lunch.
angela recently posted..Read, Sigh, Repeat
Excellent post. “so we can all go to heaven simultaneously”. I totally LOLed. We are parents to a (super, wonderful, responsible) 13-year old boy, and a (very independent, sassy, stubborn) 6- year old girl. Kid1 has friends who think our house is a great place to hang out, mainly because of the food. The only people who eat more than teenage boys are college-aged Asian girls (I speak from experience). Right now, fuel and grocery bills are tied.
The only thing I pray for is everyone in this house can handle the current and upcoming changes and experiences with some measure of grace. This is a Very Big Prayer, because age hasn’t created blinders for me. I *remember* being a teen, know all of my husband’s stories, and, oh, God help us all.
Despite the challenges, I do not miss the toddler years and the high degree of mommy-dependence. They now take care of their own bathroom business, I get to take naps (!), and it’s very interesting to watch who our children are becoming.
Tell me about it. My Boys are 23,31 & 15! ugh. My girls are 3-1/2 and 2. I will take the girls temper tantrums any day!! and my boys were good as toddlers, my 15 year old is satan!
I always complain about the so small town I live in but when I think about raising children in a city these days I have much to be thankfull for.
my 15 year old is also my most difficult to handle. And girl, how did you get such an age range? hats off to you!
Melissa recently posted..You have been warned
ummm..vodka? LOL :)
Mine are 22, 19 and 16 and I totally agree with you.
The driving in the car is my worst…I feel like we give them a weapon to use every time they drive. And I, too, have good kids but the teen years are so challenging. In every way. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel with the 22 year old but still have a ways to go with the rest.
Thanks for writing this…and for all of you with little ones, it’s too late now…just hang on, it’s a bumpy ride!
I am terrified of the teen years. I have 3 boys (8, 7, and 5) who I am not looking forward to feeding while they are in their teen years. Sometimes they already eat a lot. My thought is, if they eat this much now, I’m going to have to purchase a whole grocery store every week while they are teenagers!
I also have 2 daughters (2 yrs and 3 months). My 2 year old is really emotional and sensitive… It’s going to make her teen years *very* interesting!!! My 3 month old is very laid back, for now. We’ll see what happens as she grows older!!
Well, you’ve got my curiosity piqued…please tell us about the leg shaving incident!!
His older sister convinced him that girls do not like “hairy” boys…so one day this summer when he took a particularly long shower I wondered what he was up to. The boy shaved his daggone legs. We called him Michael Phelps for weeks ;) His girlfriend wouldn’t kiss him till it grew back…oh.my.word, it was funny!
Melissa recently posted..You have been warned
Oh boy! I hear you!
I have 5 teenagers in the house right now and you are SOOOO right. Toddler years have NOTHING on the teen years.
Nothing.
I often wonder what happened to my sweet children…
debi9kids recently posted..Little Devil Caught in the Act!
Debi..you are one of the parents I most admire in this world. I don’t know how you do it!
Melissa recently posted..You have been warned
Thanks Melissa!
Hint: LOTS of coffee during the day and a glass of wine at night to celebrate not losing my mind at night :)
debi9kids recently posted..Little Devil Caught in the Act!
heehee… that was redundant. (you know, at night, at night. haha! Clearly, I need more coffee.)
debi9kids recently posted..Little Devil Caught in the Act!
Couldnt be more right!
Mom of 19 mth old twin boys, 12 yr Boy and 16 yr girl! I am all of the place!
My mother always threaten me as child and said some day I would have children that are just like me. She was right and I actually feel bad for the way I was as a teen! Pay back time is here and I get to do it 2 more times with the twins in 11 yrs… Ya me!!! LOL
I have an 18 year old and a 12 year old both boys and have told them both that I really do not like them since they have turned into teenagers…before I had kids I used to say I wish I could adopt them when they were 18, now I wish I could adopt them out when they turned 13 and get them back when they become adults.
I threaten to give mine away on a regular basis ;)
Melissa recently posted..You have been warned
I’ll take sweet pea!!!
This is spot on! I have two 15-year-olds and two 5-year-olds and I agree, the little kid stuff is the easy part! And the sullen boy act? Are you hiding in my house watching us right now? Seriously…
Twinisms recently posted..Smart Kids
Found you on twitter…I am so impressed with your blog and could not stop from laughing! I guess you could say I have the “best” of both worlds! Two teenage daughters (19 and 16) and three crazy, busy boys (4,3, and 2). I am new to Twitter, it is soooo confusing! I still don’t really understand it, but I am learning; after all that’s how I found you! I can’t wait to read more you have to say! Take care!! Will definitely be following!
I agree the teen years are stressful, but the absolute worst is parenting young adult/college age kids. So much is at stake (like a very expensive college education everyone is going into debt for) and so much is out of your hands, completely. My message to you, enjoy your teens!! It gets HARDER.
I have two boys, one is now 21 and the other firecracker is almost 18. I work with teens everyday. I just love them. I love their energy, enthusiasm and love seeing them grow into adults and move away from needing and wanting anything to do with me. Yes, they eat tons of food, they are messy and full of drama, mostly brought on by dating. I take the attitude, I just don’t care. If they choose not to speak to me I don’t care. If they have no clean clothes because they are on their bedroom floor, I don’t care. If they have no “special” shampoo left because I am not a mind reader, IDK. If they hate what I made for dinner, IDK. I don’t allow their drama to become my drama. I listen to them, set down the rules and probably nag more than I should. It always hurt me too when their hearts were broken, I absolutely hate the driving lessons but they don’t know it (still go one more kid to get through this) and I have cringed more than once over some scantily dressed girl but kept it to myself. All in all, I have enjoyed my boys at every age even though they don’t want to hold my hand and sometimes want nothing to do with me at all except for money. I try things like asking go out to lunch of dinner or clothes shopping to get some face time. My youngest has become a clothes horse so that works. I’ll take what I can get and accept that what I once had with them is changing and we both can be adults now. Go boldly into the teen years, toddler moms.
I love your attitude. I hope I can mirror this attitude and learn not to take everything so personally when my “baby” becomes a teen in *gulp* 6 more years!
A tough skin is a necessity and yes, my boys have been enjoyable in each stage {and challenging}.
Melissa recently posted..You have been warned
I literally choked on my lunch on the driving part!!! This article is terrifying since my daughter is only 8. Still I’m glad you can find the humor in it. It gives me hope :-)
MelissaThinks recently posted..The Horror and the Hope
It goes by so fast. My kids are now in elementary school, and I’m enjoying this age. The teen years are coming & I’m scared!
Asianmommy recently posted..Angry Birds Celebrate the Moon Festival
My oldest is 11 and I’m already getting a taste of what it’s like to have a teen. We’ve been going through all the tween issues but I can see how this is just getting harder. I have three girls so please send some prayers my way – getting them all through their teen years might just be my downfall.
Carolyn (temysmom) recently posted..Win $100 with Mompact – TODAY ONLY 9/15
3 girls? Bless your heart!
I have three boys and 1 girl and I would not trade that for the other way around…definitely sending prayers your way :)
Oh boy, I have a one year old and an 11 year old – I think I’ll be dealing with temper tantrums of both kinds in the not-too-far-future!
Christi recently posted..WordFULL Wednesday: Eco Week
This made me laugh out loud a few times! I try and remind myself when I’m arguing with my 8 year old … again … that it is only going to get worse and at least I know where they are at all times. Posts like this are a good reminder that there are parts to every stage that we can loathe and treasure. Thanks!
Kim recently posted..Vintage Pin Necklace in Dark Antique Brass and Hunter Green
LOVE this. I am so there with you right now, like it or not. Thank god for the humor and the free babysitting.
Nancy Davis Kho recently posted..It’s A Head Scratcher
I laughed so hard reading this. I have six teens, aged 19, 18, 16 and 14 (x 3), and a 5yr old. One of the 14yr olds has AS and the 5yr old is awaiting assessment for the same. Our house is always noisy, rarely tidy, but it’s never dull!
My oldest is 9, but I think she is already acting like a teen.
Oh, and I want to know about the shaving incident!
haha! THIS is exactly what scares me about parenting. I know the 2 year old drama queen I have now is nothing compared to what she’ll be like in 10 years. And I know this because I can still sort of remember being 12 and I’m sure my mother made a deal with God to have my daughter turn out just like me. ::shudder::
Krista recently posted..because it matters! (on giving back to your community)
I am still stuck in the toddlers years with a 1, 4, and 5 year old. As the oldest gets older I enjoy him more and more. Less of the exhausted, sucking away all my energy and more enjoyment.
I think that each stage of parenting must be hard, it just changes how it challenges you. I think I’ll enjoy the adult challenges more….but I am working my ass off right now to hopefully make those kids turn into the ones that are mostly good and able to make good choices, and own up to it when they don’t.
The problems definitely scare me more for older kids versus younger so I am not looking foward to that aspect.
I like to think there is a sort of golden period between 5 and 12 when they are still young and yours, but you aren’t wiping their bottom and carrying them screaming from restaurants. Can you please tell me that this is true or I might not survive with my 1 and 4 year old. :)
Thanks for a great post!
I found that the younger years were physically exhausting while these years are more of an emotional/mental drain. And, I can partially tell you that it gets better from 5 to 10ish (not 12 :)
Melissa recently posted..You have been warned
Hilarious! I have two girls, ages 13 and 9. This was so scary true…what I wouldn’t give for those toddler years when I could just put them in their cribs crying, turn off the baby monitor and go have a glass of wine on the back deck. Now I need a baby monitor just so I can be sure there is no inappropriate behavior going on in the other room. Sigh. Thanks for the laugh!
Emily @ My Pajama Days recently posted..Nine Inch Nails, Floppy Disks and Cute Boys
oooh, I like that baby monitor idea ;)
Melissa recently posted..You have been warned
Well I’ve lived through those trying two’s/tween/teen of 3 beautiful daughters w/rooms so deep in clothes on the floor that at first you’re always screaming to clean up & then after a couple years just decide to close the door & don’t look at it anymore. Then they’d want to have someone over…over my dead body with that room looking like that! But I must say…my daughters are all still beautiful now young ladies & 2 of the 3 w/families of their own. All those years of fighting all kinds of attitude paid off…I’m blessed w/6 grandkids so far. There is a sweet reward…they come with confessions that I wasn’t really as bad as they thought…in fact, I was right about a lot of things & they should have listened more growing up. But I know they did listen somewhat or they wouldn’t have turned out so GREAT! So keep your chin up & believe…cuz yes Susie there is a Santa Claus!
I have an almost 16 yr old, a 12 yr old, a 9 yr old (all girls) and then I did the unthinkable in some people’s eyes and I started over again! And now I have a 19 month old son…. who is 100% different than his sisters in more ways that I can count.
Please send wine.
thank you.
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oh, yes! Boys are a different breed…enjoy :)
I had a “do-over” also-lol- my boys are 23,21 &15 . MY girls are 3-1/2 and 2. I have the opposit trouble, my boys were NEVER this… wow, thats all I got,LOL . They are wearing me down, I think Im in trouble., I often wonder if maybe its just my age and Im simply very very tired-lol :)
Ah, the craziness. Some days all you want to do is hug them, other days you want to slap them! I never brought a guy home when dating as a teen. I think the only person I ever introduced to my parents was my now husband. My dad told me later that they were “relieved” cause they were starting to “worry!” Now I know what is really going on if my kids never bring anyone home. If my parents only knew!
Mysanityblog recently posted..HPV- I Have it, Do You?
I have an almost tween (she’s 9 1/2) who has already perfected the eye roll. Yesterday I caught her in my closet ‘just seeing if some of this stuff might fit me’ Fortunately she’s not interested in boys yet (fingers crossed) so that we’ll have a little more American Girl doll play before we cross into the land of ipods.
Johanna recently posted..A Missoni (for Target) Moment
Nail on the head, my friend. I quake in fear everytime my daughter gets up in the morning, wondering if it will be Dr. Jekyll (that is the norm), or Mr. Hyde (aka, I want something). I feel like a taxi driver/punching bag, (mentally not physically). If something goes wrong in their little world, you know who is going to pay the price. At least 2 year olds finally go to sleep each day. Teens only are able to sleep in the morning, which means you never have any peace. (Unless they are angry, and giving you the silent treatment). I hope I live long enough to see all of my children have teens of their own.
I wish they sent high schoolers to school later…it is a fight to get my boys up at 5:45 every morning!
Melissa recently posted..You have been warned
I’m sure that parenting a teenager is a huge challenge- I’m sure raising 4 teenagers is even more challenging. But if there is one thing I have learned as both a parent and a teacher, is that you cannot compare the challenges and difficulties that we all face. This piece feels a bit like you’re saying “my life is harder than yours”… I think the “one-upping” that mom’s do, is negative, hurtful and creates an environment of competitiveness. Who’s kids are worse, who’s are smarter, who’s go to the potty first, who’s get on the honour roll, etc… We all have good times, we all have bad times, and some ‘stages’ are longer and more difficult. I just wish we could all be more supportive, and stop trying to outdo each other…
Definitely not my intention, Susan. Just a tongue-in-cheek post about the stage of parenting I am in. I completely agree that true competitiveness between parents serves no constructive purpose.
The world needs everyone to lighten up, enjoy life and find the humor. Poking fun at the daily adventures of parenthood gives us something we can all chuckle over. Competitive? no I didn’t read that into your post. It is daily life with teenagers.
Good job, Melissa.
I do agree that the world needs to “lighten up” as Shari so aptly posted. I also don’t doubt that Melissa’s intentions were to provide an humorous commentary on life with teenagers – which most of it was. I was taken aback by the “No, I laugh because those moms have no idea what they are in for in ten years.” To me, this feels competitive and feels a bit dismissive of all the mom’s who are struggling with toddlers or young children. If you have young children, chances are that only a few short years ago, you didn’t have children and your life was dramatically different. And to many moms and dads, coping with this change alone, is a struggle. I don’t think we can say fairly that someone else has it better or worse then the other. Its that old cliche “Walk a mile in their shoes..”
No disrespect Melissa, it is a great article and I totally get what you were going for, but I wanted to share my 2 cents.
Now imagine raising your teenagers in a place where there is no legal drinking age. Well, actually there is, but nobody enforces it, which is basically the same as not having one.
Been there, done that. You know what you are talking about; but one day soon they will be off to college, the house will be quiet, you can do anything you want, but you will miss them dearly. Shortly after that they become amazing adults and yes and bring home wonderful friends. You will love them all. Then they find the one, get married…and wait for this…present you with the most amazing grandchildren you have ever known. Your children with accuse you of “spoiling” them, but the truth is they will always be angels when at your house. Why? Perhaps because we have are older, wiser, know nothing lasts and understand unconditional love. Or it could be we are not the harried, stressed, overworked mom. We are the best grandmothers in the world!!
ahh, yes. My eyes fill up with tears thinking about next month when my 18 year old leaves for basic training! Thank you for reminding us that there is light at the end of the teenage tunnel!
Melissa recently posted..You have been warned
I’m a mother of 2 beautiful daughters: 17 & 12. When they’re sullen & moody, it’s tempting to re-evaluate why I entered into parenthood in the first place, especially as a single parent who does the majority of the parental heavy-lifting. That’s when the mood magically shifts – the 17 yr-old will give me an unexpected hug (while very loving in nature, she’s never been a particularly “cuddly” kid) or the 12 yr-old will show me a school project she got an A on (while an incredibly bright child, she struggles with a learning disability). The Teen Years are a mine field of emotions, but are totally worth all the blood, sweat and TEARS you both put into them. My oldest will graduate from high school next June with a fantastic sense of herself and how she wants to move into the phase of her life – I wish I had the same sense of self-awareness at the same age. After all the eye-rolling, the looks of contempt, the proclamations of you’re-TOTALLING-ruining-my-life, you’ll (hopefully) find yourself towards the end of the child-rearing road with this beautiful young lady ready to take on the world!
I love my teenagers! I think parenting them as they get older is easier, my husband and I have the opposite joke. God made us live through the elementary years to get to the fun stuff. Just being able to have a conversation witht them that doesn’t involve the latest videogame or cartoon characters, itself us worth it. I currently have a 17, 14, 13 and a 9 year old. I am living in both worlds right now and I will take dealing with the older boys over the younger ones everyday of the week.
No, I’m not looking forward to the teen years. I am LIVING them.
I also chuckle when I read about those who are just going through infancy/toddlerhood/school-agers……only because I’ve been there and I can remember their angst.
Gigi recently posted..An update on Man-Child (and a PSA; seriously)
I was just thinking the other day, I wonder if I should go ahead and clue my blog readers in on the fact that parenting does NOT get easier when they become teens. Not at all. The need for wine increases dramatically.
dysfunctional mom recently posted..Blog Blessings
I’m only looking forward to it for the chore reason. Okay and the no babysitter reason. I’m trying to see the bright side. Thanks for sharing that part too!! We have a few years to prepare. (or think we’re prepared…)
So, what’s the shaving incident??? ;P
Elaine recently posted..Sometimes life hands you apples…
Your blog is spot on….I have an 18 and 20 year old (boys) and 5 year old girl. I’m sure she will be different than the boys in her tweens.
Ok…shaving incident?
~P.
Pattie recently posted..Bleeding Green
Oh gawd, my little sister is 23 and still gets treated like that!
Anthony from CharismaticKid recently posted..Punishment and Removing Privileges: Am I Withdrawing Love from My Child?
My kids are just 3 and 5 but I am already dreading the teenage years because I vividly remember how bad it was between my parents and me. Your post made me realize that there will still be some good stuff mixed in with all the attitude and drama. No more dishes sounds a little bit like heaven to me :)
I have a teen and a tween so I can relate. Someone once told me that teens have to be watched like toddlers and I agree. When they are teens the mistakes they can make can be life altering. I think all parents breathe a sigh of relief when their kid turns 18 and when they graduate from high school. If they are on the right path, everything is gravy from there. If they are not on the right path, they are grown ups and have to deal with it.
Michelle Saunderson recently posted..Finally….He’s a Social Butterfly!!!
Haha, so this is what I have to look forward to! I love the way you write it though, despite all the craziness, it sounds like fun – and certainly there is a lot more to write about! I have 5 kiddies, 2 are now “tweens” and I am getting a foretaste – dramatic slamming of doors and emotional huffy meltdowns over the tiniest of vague issues, usuaaly involving friendships…. followed by lots of debriefing and my attempts to impart bite-sized bits of wisdom while I still have a voice in their lives. I’m enjoying the fact that they still think I’m cool, although each day, I wonder whether I am enjoying my last “cool moment”…
FennyPenny recently posted..Born to live, but not in this world…
The teen years are the best argument for birth control that I know of! ;0)
LOVE IT!! Although I need to work on that rotation thing, I’m doing all the work around here!
mom taxi julie recently posted..More Baby Shower Planning
Spot on. Only I bow down to you, because you are doing it with FOUR of them!!! I have just one and that’s plenty of teenage hormones and attitude for me :) (Though I admit, he’s a great kid and I wouldn’t trade him for the world)
Ally recently posted..Who’s First?
Have you been a fly on the wall at my house? You just explained every day of my life, aside from the rare day when we can talk for hours. That is usually the day that I don’t mention ALL of the things that aren’t being done, a day off from life, if you will. As a single mother, in the process of working towards my doctorate, while being everything to everyone, my one and only, beautiful, smart daughter fills all the unfilled roles in the family from time to time. Sometimes she tries to be my husband. Sometimes she tries to be my equal and other times she seems to have multiple personalities, lol. My mother likes to say that since she has no siblings, I have to fill that role and fight with her. In the end, the true test of her love, cause their have been moments when I did wonder if she loved me or even liked me, was when she went away this summer for the first time and checked in with me a few times each day to tell me of some new adventure. She does love me and inspite of what she knows about me. I am blessed.
oops…hate grammatical errors…I meant to say (there).
I’m not the parent of a teen yet, but I know that it is not too far off. I’m looking forward to having a teen around the house to help out. In fact, we’re already working that way. A little at a time, right?
I am not so naive to believe that I won’t have my share of problems, but I hope that I will be prepared to deal with them as they arrive.
Thank for sharing!
My oldest son just had a birthday. That means that I am officially a parent of 3, count them, THREE TEENS. Two girls ages 16 and 14, and 13 year-old boy. And just to make it interesting and to keep me from strangling my teens, I have a 7 year-old too. He makes me remember what it was like to have a child who is loving, affectionate, and sweet. My teen girls are especially challenging. I thought daycare was expensive. Teens are worse. I am still trying to get them on a dishwashing rotation and it doesn’t always work. Unless there is 1) a school dance, 2) a football game, or 3) some other social event that I can hold over them to get them to clean up the house. Once in a while I do see the glimpses of who they will be and I try to hold on to those moments.
Lol I Loved it!! So true!!
SCORE ! Lol that was awesome. Mine are 2, 9, 10, 11, and 12. Someone pass the vodka…
Love recently posted..Astrology
Okay, okay. I will stop griping about my two year old. *watches him helplessly as he performs aforementioned temper tantrum*
Nellie recently posted..Sometimes when you feel you can’t…just don’t!
Ugh, i have a 13yr old boy…with serious attitiude! I am a single parent and he is driving me mad………won’t DO anything around flat (no amount of bribing, cajoling, or anything else) won’t get up for school (no amount of bribing, cajoling, or anything else here either) “I’m Tired” he says!!!!!) HAH!!!! I lay awake for hours at night dreading the mornings and get up at 7am “just in case” he decides he will get up!!! I am soooo tired of being tired i’m bordering on complete lunacy!!! Any suggestions? (bearing in mind hes nearly 6 foot high and weighs 10 stone, pulling him out by his toenails and dragging him to school in his pyjamas is not an option)
I wish I could go back to the terrible twos. I have an 18 year old daughter that has a 5 month old daughter, a 19 year old daughter with a 2 year old and a 13 year old son. My 19 and her daughter live with me, I babysit while she works and I babysit while she is home(still lazy) my 18 year hates me, this week any way and moved out with her boyfriend a few weeks ago. I got a call from my sons school as he got into his first fist fight and won.The boy he finally stood up too was a bully that has been picking on him for years. We have been through more drama, accidents, celebration and misery in the teen years than in all the other years. I never thought that I would be a grandmother to not only one but two irresistible little girls. Though through all the choas is love and I would not change it for the world.
OMG this is so spot on! I have 16 1/2 and 12 year old daughters, and I have said it to many people with younger kids that the teenage years are by far the hardest! And I halso have a 4 1/2 year old daughter, so I live both scenarios simultaneously!
My ex-husband has a 13 year old girl (ours), and a 2 year old and newborn with his 23 year old new wife…..ahhhh! Sweet Karma! LMAO after reading this post!
I am the parent to a pre-teen, 12 year old and can totally relate to your posts! I started my blog to try to stay sane with all the psychotic, head-spinning mood swings and all the yelling, door slamming, sister-hitting actions seen daily in my household. Check out the blog and please comment to allow me to see that my child is no different than other teens out there. teensaretoughtoparent.blogspot.com