Parents of Twitter are “naming” their kids after the things responsible for getting them here
We tried for five years to have my first child. FIVE. Not all pregnancies happen so easy, but then… some of them do. My second was what I guess you’d call an “oops” baby. If we named her after the reason she’s here, her name would be “The Pullout Method.”
Bunmi Laditan, the woman behind the wildly popular “Honest Toddler” has had a metamorphosis of sorts, and renamed her Twitter account “Honest Toddler’s Mom.” It’s even better than before. It’s equal parts hilarity, social justice, and just downright badassery. Recently she tweeted about just what our kids would be called if we named them after the reasons they’re here — and the thread is Twitter gold.
If we named kids after the reason we had them it’d be like, “Hey Marital Problems stop hitting Broken Condom I’m trying to put Hennessy down for a nap.”
— Honest Toddler’s Mom (@HonestToddler) November 22, 2017
“If we named kids after the reason we had them it’d be like, “Hey Marital Problems stop hitting Broken Condom I’m trying to put Hennessy down for a nap.”
So. Much. Truth. Here.
The parents of Twitter chimed in, and the responses are hilarious.
How many Netflix and Chill's would be born by 2020 I wonder 🤔— Chanty (@CodeName_Petty) November 22, 2017
Mine would be named "taco truck fight" and "mommy's birthday mimosas"— Dominique Matti (@mominiquematti) November 22, 2017
That’s it, Faulty Military Birth Control...if you can’t respect Gotta Give The Oldest A Sibling’s toys you can’t play with them anymore.— Brianna Turner (@BriannaTurner32) November 22, 2017
A Second Will Keep the First Occupied would play with Let's Be Parents Cause It'll Be Fun!— Sarah Davies (@francesthoughts) November 22, 2017
Honestly these names are so much better than the originals, aren’t they?
Mine would be ... "Clock is Ticking" and "Rhythm Method"— Michele Matthews (@msmatt1017) November 22, 2017
Oh yes. My second’s middle name is Rhythm Method.
"hey, DesperateForaBaby, keep WowThatWasEasierThanIThought away from Surpriseat43"— Alexandra Rosas (@GDRPempress) November 22, 2017
Yup. Familiar with these kids.
"Happy First Anniversary, let Efficacy of the Pill is Reduced by the Use of Antibiotics have a turn on the Xbox."— Good Dog, Blue. 🆒 (@sasimmons) November 22, 2017
😂😂😂😂 Hey, Too Much Tequila, I need you to babysit The Doctor Said I Would Never Get Pregnant Again while I go to the liquor store.— Jess (@Big_Neffy) November 22, 2017
Hey, Overnight Getaway and New Year’s Eve, what do u want for breakfast?— Timohthy Jay (@TimothyJ44) November 22, 2017
I have Avoiding Writing Dissertation, I’m Bored Being A SAHM, Trying For A Girl, and I Can’t Believe I’m Stuck In Texas.— Beth (@BethwithBabies) November 22, 2017
We could read these all day. Well done.