The Five Stages of Parents’ Sex Life


There are people out there who claim their sex lives never changed after they had kids, and still others who say they started having sex more once their little ones were born.

I’m calling bullshit.

Now don’t get me wrong; I like a good roll between the sheets. But I’m hard pressed to believe anyone’s sex life remains unchanged or increases after kids enter the picture.

I just don’t see how that’s possible.

Unless you weren’t having much sex to begin with, of course. And if that’s the case, I am so very, very sorry…

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Then again, if you weren’t having much sex before you had kids, you probably aren’t bitter like the rest of us at the drastic decline in “relations” that parenthood brings. Maybe that’s the trick – set the bar really low from the get-go so you always come out on top (so to speak).

Anyway, let’s stop ragging on the prudes and get down to the topic at hand, shall we?

Having kids kills your sex life.

Alright, so I’m no expert when it comes to relationships or sex, but it would seem there are 5 distinct phases couples go through in the bedroom.

1. Dating. Oh, how I loved this stage. You remember what it was like – every time you saw each other, it was all you could do to keep your paws off each other. I believe I spent the first 6 months of my relationship with my husband with JBF hair. What’s that, you ask? What’s JBF hair? Think about it: “Just Been…”

2. Living Together. This starts out really exciting – since almost every date you have leading up to the moment you move in together ends with sex, you naturally assume you will now be having sex every day.Bah-hahahaha!

3. The Pulling Of The Goalie. Also known as the “we’re trying” phase, this is a magical, magical time because, almost as soon as you ditch the birth control, you are magically transported back to the Dating Phase. It is glorious. For about a month. But the longer it takes your husband to knock you up, the more sex starts to feel like a (mostly fun) science experiment.

4. We’re Pregnant! When you enter this stage of your relationship, you will be on cloud nine. But then morning sickness will kick in, and let me tell you – nothing gets a guy in the mood more than hearing his partner yak several times a day. The good news is, you start to feel better by your second trimester. The bad news is, a lot of men aren’t overly interested in doing the deed once your belly starts to grow. Something about poking the baby (men like to flatter themselves, don’t they?).

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5. We’re Never Having Sex Again Parents. Once you hit this phase, sex as you know it will never be the same again. Ever. You now have to schedule it around naps and bedtime, and when you do muster up the strength to do the deed, you have to pray like hell the baby doesn’t wake up . . . because the sound of crying or happy chattering is an instant mood killer.

Now, I’m sure there are more than just 5 phases in this whole cycle of love, but The Hubs and I aren’t there yet. My guess is that, once The Kid starts school a couple of years from now, this whole process will come full circle and The Hubs will start coming home for nooners again.

If I’m incorrect in this assumption, please do me a favor and keep that piece of information to yourself.

About the writer

Dani Ryan is a corporate slave turned stay-at-home-mom who has a knack for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. She tries to find the humor in motherhood on her blog, Cloudy, With a Chance of Wine, and is a proud contributing author to the hilarious book, I Just Want to Pee AloneYou can also find her on Twitter @chanceofwine and on Facebook


Cricket 7 months ago

Ok now I have to call bullshit. It’s a painful truth and rarely excepted but you get what you give so to speak. 10 to 1 your husband is willing to have sec any the moment of the day the children are physically present in front of you. So here’s my honest advice, and you may wanna take it when at the end I tell you how much I have sex and for how many years. First off the baby/kid may wake up? So what? Unless they have a virus they wait til you finish you may not always get a three hour sex marathon but a quick 20 minute isnt that long for them to set and wait in bed, worse comes to worse go get your kid in bed and go back and finish yes it may kill the mood but those can easily be gotten back. If you think it can’t then you are sexually repressed and I can’t help you. Your tired/crabby/angry/insane well bend over and take it, it takes absolutely no energy to get on all fours and let your husband get off. It will make him feel like a man and be more caring towards you. Your too dirty? Men are essentially cavemen if they are turned on they actually LIKE the stinky smells and if it still bothers you a joy washcloth no soap and your cats clean. Sometimes skip sex and get them a handy or bj and let them resiprocat for you but I usually reserve these for the rare occasions that nothing will get me in the mood. Because statistically sex is even more important to a mans well being yes women need it and some need it as much but there is more tied in to sex for men than women. Learn to embrace the “run into the bathroom and have a quickie” quickie. The door locks you can always tell your kid your helping the the other with somethjbg gross if you want to have sex and want to stop worrying about your husband not being attracted to you or other worries then fix it. I mean really would it really hurt to have sex after the kids have gone to bed at night yes you may lose a little a sleep but you gain a lot more I’ve been with my husband for 12 years and we have a 7 year old that’s extremely hyper and has health issues he’s ip all night and I’m usually fighting with his feeding pump while he’s running circles around me and we STILL have sex every chance we get we ALWAYS have sex once a day everyday and we try to throw in a handy and maybe a quickie or two and on the really bad days even if we both done want to we still have sex once because it keeps us closer

Chuck 7 months ago

They left off a few stages- stage 6 when kids are teens and gone a lot and you and your wife start hooking up again. Serious, we are there now and it’s better than any other phase we have been in. There were some dark years that made me question marriage and commitment but we stuck it out to be rewarded with a often empty home and lots of time to reconnect. it’s well worth the time and wait!

scrappymaggie 10 months ago

Just wait until the children are older and you enter the phase when you dare not have sex with them in the house – even asleep – because someone is bound to wake up and hear you or, worse yet, walk in on you and be traumatized forever.

alonika 11 months ago

I often say after having my children changed my sex life. I had a high sex drive before my 3 children and during 3rd trimester in pregnancy. After my 1st went from a few times a day to once a day so didn’t make much difference but since my last child who is coming up to one I can count my fingers. I’m worn out and never in the mood anymore. Fall asleep getting baby to sleep or she ends up in the bed so I get a better nights sleep. Any tips on how to get this strain off my relationship please advise x

Brenda 12 months ago

There’s a nice period of being spontaneous once kids are in preschool through about middle school, but once you have high schoolers with later bedtimes, then college students coming home bringing their friends, and now there’s older-younger siblings, sex once begins to become a hard-to-come-by commodity. One of the payoffs of having older children?? Weekend getaways without having to call a babysitter or begging your parents to watch the kids, and no “baby attachment” guilt.

april 12 months ago

What about the parents who love sex with their spouse?? I had a son already when we got married, and we got accidentally pregnant pretty quickly. But any time we get a few minutes to ourselves, the kids fall asleep (99% of the time in their own beds), or the kids stay with grandparents, we have crazy, passionate, kinky, and/or wild lovemaking. Maybe we are weird (we joke often that WE ARE, lol) but our seX life was great when we first got together, awesome when we were pregnant, and fantastic now. He is always ready and wanting, and usually I’m already waaay ahead of him. Are we that abnormal??????

Sasha 1 year ago

YES, it’s so much better after they are all in school, even though we both work full-time. Even though we are in our 40’s now, we have MUCH more energy for sex now that they are older. It’s HOT! :)

Danielle A 1 year ago

I skipped from 1 to 4. Currently on 5.

Lady-me 1 year ago

Oh don’t you worry! It comes back alright! And it has little to do with school. We homeschool and are having a great old time. There were years of deficit and what you describe above. The thing that changed it for us was our kids growing out of the bodily-needs exhaustion phase when parents (particularly the one at home, if applicable) are just dog tired at night! Our “baby” is now 3 and it’s so much better. All the best to you!

Mary 1 year ago

This list is pretty right on for us! Unfortunately, sometimes “fun time” is few and far between. I feel that my 2 year old daughter does have a lot to do with our exhaustion and lack of alone time together but also our jobs right now are tough. We work opposite schedules so we don’t need to pay for child care which is nice financially but definitely takes a toll on our love life. This is definitely something we are working to change but sometimes parenthood and work can take it out of you. We just keep telling ourselves, this is just temporary! :)

Colene 1 year ago

Unfortunately, what follows “young kid” sex is – “he’s on heart meds & can’t get an erection”. I’ll leave it to your imagination what THAT’S like. Especially if he’s one of the few who get a trip to the ER after a 4-hour episode when the hydraulics won’t “go down”.

lesmom 1 year ago

When my daughter was 10 she walked in on my partner and I and we have never lived that down, we now live in an apartment and share a wall….needless to say we have to make absolutely sure she is asleep before we do the deed or we will hear about it for the next week. And a lock is a must for sure! She is 16 now but still doesn’t get what a shut door means lol

JK 1 year ago

Yeah, most days I don’t even get to eat more than one meal…I’m pretty sure that if I actually had extra time I would spend it eating or sleeping

Marie 1 year ago

It gets better! I have 4, ages 9 down to 3 months. Our sex life really took a hit after the first and again after the 2nd baby. #2 was almost 4 when #3 was born so we enjoyed a period of actually sleeping enough and we really started embracing the opportunity every single chance we had–even if we were very tired–because we knew it might not come up again for a while. We kept up the habit after babies 3 & now 4. The result: an active if irregular (sometimes four or five nights in a row and then weeks before we have sex again) and very satisfying marital relationship.

It doesn’t hurt that Grandpa wants the kids to spend the night every few weeks either! 😉

Aliya 1 year ago

Reading what you wrote just made me feel a whole lot better about my close to non existent sex life post baby 1. Thank you, atleast I’m not alone 😉

Randy 2 years ago

My wife and I went through what you describe here. Now our kids are 9 and 5. It has taken some focus on it, but our sex life is now at an all time high. She had what I called an always no, except for Saturday morning, and it took something to get her to stop that. I think it helps that we are now shooting blanks, because she was always worried about getting pregnant. The truth is that being open to sex means being open to intimacy, and that’s like exercise: if you get out of shape, it does take effort to get that form back.

tbone 2 years ago

Wow my post was so long I forgot Sophies name. Almost the same as josie right. ..

tbone 2 years ago

Sophie. Hearing that . I’m happy for u guys but sooo jealous. Our kids are 3,5,7,9. I had a vasectomy. At some point as sex frequency dwindled I got into porn and lied to my wife about it for years. I finally came clean to her but then told her she should have sex with me so I didn’t look at porn ( douchbag thing to do or say I was completely selfish and didn’t think of my wife at all) I went to counseling to learn to not be such a douchbag. So not only is she tired from 4 kids but now she doesn’t trust me. We still have sex once or twice a week but I want it everyday and she tells me I wouldn’t get shot down as much if I tried for it when she wasn’t tired or the kids weren’t in our biz. I could have better timing. My problem is the”the ideal” when the kids aren’t bothering, and she’s not tired, and I don’t have a sore throat, and she feels connected cuz we’ve spent time together and it’s romantic time not just watching TV time, and we’ve had time for the 3 T’s beforehand (talk time and touch) well that ideal time is pretty much a fantasy i feel at this stage of our lives but that’s what she wants……oh and we were virgins when we got married. My wife enjoyed sex as much as me for the longest. … now not so much. I’m late 30 ‘ s and she is 30. Hoping for a goodb stage 6 or 7 I really do love her.’s good to read everyone’s comments and see other/similar struggles. Still way way jealous of josie. 😉

    Sharon Chaves 1 year ago

    See I feel for you totally. I really think if your into your partner you can forgo the tired, headache and three t things sometimes… I feel your pain my fiance and I had tons of sex even with both of us each having one child each when we met. Even when I was pregnant at least once a day. Now im lucky if I get it once a week. I look at porn and stuff cuz mostly hes tired. Ugh so frustrating. I hope your wife comes around for you!

sophie 2 years ago

Me and my hubby have sex 2-4 times a night, this is OUR time and we use and abuse it, your sex life doesn’t HAVE to change, we just decided its fun and we love it and its important to us so we make time for eachother

JD 2 years ago

Okay so..maybe it’s just me, but I have a VERY active kiddo. She is always into something and moving and talking and running around and wanting to do stuff with me (she’s 12 mo). And that’s cool. I am by no means a Super Mommy, we don’t really “craft” b/c she still just wants everything in her mouth and a short attention span (probably inherited mommy’s ADHD). I am absolutely pooped by the end of the day when she goes to bed. Hubby goes to work at 6am (and one lucky thing is Baby is a VERY good sleeper – 12 hrs a night) and gets home around 3:30, but when he gets home I am still going a mile a minute with the little one and he just plops on the PC. Once she finally goes to bed at 8 I am done for! I am too tired to move and too mentally tired to want to listen to anyone else’s demands…seriously. Like I don’t want to hear about what anyone else wants lol

Does it get better? Are there other mom’s out there where time isn’t as much an issue as energy??

FYI date nights are…non-existent. Weekends are time for him to veg and are basically the same for me as..every week day…

His parents take her sometimes, but not too often as they both still work FT and Grandma’s weekends are usually full of over-due work (yay public school systems overworking their staff).

Kristi 2 years ago

I would definitely say that the frequency has changed, but I think the quality has actually gotten better. We have been together for so long now that there is none of that “I’m embarrassed of this” stuff going on and sneaking off to the bedroom while the kids are eating dinner is really kind of exciting. Besides, my kids go to bed at 8pm. That leaves several hours for other things. It’s not that difficult to have sex with kids around, you just have to get really creative, and push aside all the exhaustion.

Mimi 2 years ago

We are further along than some of the other posts I have seen. Oldest is away at college and youngest is 15. Anytime we are in our room with the door closed, she assumes we are having sex (8/10 times she is right). This is the best stage for us so far. We occasionally have the house to ourselves and can have sex wherever we want!! It’s been like stage #1, but better! The only downside is we have to know exactly when they are coming home. We nearly got caught once when our oldest came home early!

sammie 2 years ago

“You now have to schedule it around naps and bedtime, and when you do muster up the strength to do the deed, you have to pray like hell the baby doesn’t wake up . . . because the sound of crying or happy chattering is an instant mood killer.”

Ummm, this is my life!! You nailed it. (No pun intended.) 😉

Tiffany 2 years ago

Um, no. We don’t have as much sex as when we were “dating” but that’s because we’re not laying around stoned all the time when sex is an hourly or hour-long activity. Still, there is no way relationship would be sustained without fairly frequent down and dirty time. Seriously, I could not handle motherhood without that. I’m really not sure how women (or men) can stay in a long term relationship/marriage involving children without having lots of sex. Some days it’s the only time to feel like yourself.

curleedst 2 years ago

Well you aren’t far off. I have 2 children 11 and 6 and hubster tried to breastfeed with them! EEWWW! Those are for the baby! He now complains but seriously I am a full- time mom, pulling a 6 figure salary plus bonus, running a blog and doing the other duties as a mother. Sorry I’m not ready and waiting when you are. A woman is hustling over here. LOL.

Jackson 2 years ago

I may be one of the few guys posting on here, but Stage 4 as described above is a real turn off for guys. Once any act goes from spontaneous to mandatory (or required) the joy vacates. I have been fortunate to have a good relationship with my wife, but once the decision to add a child to our relationship began, the joy and fun of sex quickly went down hill. The surprising thing is that she remembers those moments very vividly and has fond memories of them.

I might also say, that children are a real affair pusher for some men. If I am being truthful here, having a once attractive woman who was sexy and wears thongs turn into a overweight, barfing, moody companion whose breasts now hang down and whose stomach has stretch marks across it is a real libido killer for many guys. That combined with the constant grinding pressure of caring for an infant that has no off switch means sex is suddenly pushed way down the priority list. For most guys, it is not the end of days and they simply hang with it until a few years pass. But unfortunately, there are all too many who simply say, “screw this” and go get laid with someone who still wears thongs and does have the energy to go for a four hour sweat inducing romp.

    Kristi 2 years ago

    Haha 4 hours!? Even before I was an “overweight, barfing, moody companion with stretch marks and saggy boobs” I never once met a man who cared enough to make it last longer than 5 minutes. Also any man who would look for someone else because your appearance has suffered after you gave him children is a giant douche and you don’t need him anyways.

      Ben 2 years ago

      It’s easy to brush off Jackson’s comments as nonsense. It’s easy to say, “I gave him children, he has to love me no matter what”. This is not the case. It is a relationship and you cannot simply abandon it because you feel you’ve got your man “hooked”.

      I agree that It is a big douche move to look for other women, but let’s be honest about this; it is a big temptation for many men who don’t get any sex or attention at home while the baby takes over. Yes, the baby has taken over BOTH of your lives, but you have to remember that you still have a life together. You have to make your lives work for each other, together.

      Talk things through, be honest about your feelings, tell each other your desires or lack thereof. My wife and I have two boys under 2, and we are in the “no sex” phase. I feel incredibly neglected, but my wife says she feels like if she never had sex again she’d be fine with that. We have talked over these feelings and it has made us closer. We know things will change. My wife wants things to change. We cuddle, we take the time to kiss and caress each other, and we wait. It is extremely frustrating for me, but that frustration is kept from becoming resentment through open dialogue. Anyway, that’s my perspective.

Jasbir @jasbeeray 2 years ago

I thoroughly enjoyed reading #4, about men kidding themselves! Wish I had read this so I would have used that line.

MommaLynnea 2 years ago

so here is the deal… I am currently in stage 6.. and it took a long time to get here. But yes… THERE IS A STAGE 6. I was 40 when I had my kid… and he is my only so I was pretty focused on him, running a business and a household. WE have gone through a ton of crap.. and we got super distant from each other.. friends with absolutely NO benefits. About a month ago we had a come to Jesus talk.. we were both tired of where it was. And we started to date again. And we closed out bedroom door again. About 5 days in… the dogs were whining to go out in the morning.. I got up to pee and came back to bed naked.. snuggled up to the hubby and said.. walk the damn dogs and come back to bed. Fastest walk those dogs ever had.. lol..

And since then.. it is better than in the beginning.. Yea… I am over 50.. and if someone had told me it would be better now.. I’d have laughed.. but it is fantastic! And we keep dating and touching and holding hands and kissing.. and yea.. probably grossing out our kid.. but so what… he needs to see how people in love treat each other.. and yea.. he almost caught us the other morning when he opened the door a crack to let one of the dogs in to our room.. hee hee

Amy 3 years ago

I’m 32, my hubs and I both work full time and we have a 2 and 5 year old. We have sex at least 3-5 times a week, sometimes several times a day on the weekends. Our kids go to bed @ 8pm since they were about 3 months old and sleep till about 6 or 7am, they have never slept in our bed and for the most part when we put them in their room for either play or sleep, they know better than to come out without permission. This is what works for our home. Everyone is different, but IMO, sex isn’t something that should be pushed to the back burner, it’s an important, vital part of a relationship and should be treated as such. Let the dishes in the sink, let the laundry pile up, skip soccer practice or dance class, whatever, but MAKE time to be intimate with your spouse.

Lakota 3 years ago

Scared to death! 5 months pregnant and worried my love life with my husband is doomed once the baby is born. I never wanted kids, ever…

    Tiffany 2 years ago

    Nope, nope, nope, it can absolutely continue. We resumed sex life three weeks after my c-section (but I fully get that that can take longer with vaginal birth or surgery complications). Communication is key (of course), especially since there will be new things you are uncomfortable with for a while, such as your boobs, and it’s much better to say that rather than enduring discomfort and being turned off. There can be a lot of fun in “sneaking around” when baby or kids is sleeping or doing crafts or watching Netflix or whatever you can distract them with to get yours, and as long as you keep on telling each other when it’s true and when it’s not how hot you feel about one another “the act” will happen. Good luck on your expanding family and don’t lose heart from the naysayers. Sex is a very important part of a romantic relationship and one that shouldn’t be sacrificed.

Sara 3 years ago

I completely disagree maybe because my child slept in her own room since the day she was born but mine and my husband’s sex life never slowed down when the baby was born. He even asked the doc if it was OK to have sex while pregnant and that was pretty amazing as well. Of course our daughter is four now but there was no scheduling of sex or lack of it. It was constant and alot of it. Just saying maybe it was just us.

Maegan 3 years ago

See I think of it this way my husband and I are opportunist. Since the day we met everday we try to hit it ever time we get a chance. Been married for 7 years and have three kids 6,4,2. We are very active he is almost 30 I’m late 20s as well. Some weeks we get 8x others 3x but we are always up for getting it in no matter if its a nooner, midnight whatever. He’s in the army and I know that tom is never promised so we live everyday to its fullest we always have and I love that we are that kind of couple because we know too many that are nothing like that. Just remember if you both want it bad enough you’ll find the time you can sleep when your dead. Also our kids are never allowed to sleep in our bed they come in the mornings to snuggle but our room is our personal space and we have always agreed on that.

Cory Mann 3 years ago

Stage 6 is when they’re old enough to wake up, go get a bowl of cereal, & read a book or watch TV on their own. “Let mom & dad ‘sleep in’ on weekend mornings, kids!”. Stage 7 is when they know what’s really going on when you say “honey, let’s go take a ‘nap'”, and they’re disgusted enough to stay way far away.

We are thankfully entering the latter (kids aged 11 & 8).

lessuhlee 3 years ago

Great article! But I gonna warn ya, as a mother of 3 teenagers, you do get a “dating phase” back when the kids get in school….but it gets worse again when they are teenagers. teenagers have horrible waking/sleeping hours, which makes it hard to find time for “couple time”, you can’t bank on them going to sleep at a certain hour. And then, teenagers know exactly what sex is, so even if you do close the door and try to do it, they know what you’re doing, and will yell things like “ew gross mom and dad!!!! I know what you’re doing” hahahaha I’m looking forward to the empty nest now!

    Brenda 12 months ago

    Me, too!! We can’t believe how much they put a crimp in our love life! Miss the good ol’ days of when they were younger, but really looking forward to when they’re out (well, kinda). Enjoying weekend outings until then.

mary 3 years ago

I will never forget when my son was just old enough to jump in his little jumperoo contraption. Picture him at the foot of our wooden sleigh bed. For some reason we are doing it doggy styly facing him. He thought we were playing peek a boo and was smiling ear to ear. Thankfully he was to young to remember anything but now we keep all kids (even the 2 month old) out of the bedroom for the deed. With 5 ages 5 and under it can be interesting, but keeping it playful outside of the bedroom adds some fun build up for when the time is right. :)

    jamie-leigh 2 years ago

    ummmm, wow that is so disturbing that you could continue to jusy look at your child while having sex, i would never have sex with my babies in the room. so disturbing.

Stacy Harris 3 years ago

You forgot the phase… I am locking the door so the kids can’t get in and I can get 2 minutes of action… which eventually turns into… this is too damn distracting since the kids are knocking on the door to the are you sure you can’t take less than 2 minutes since the kids learned how to unlock the door.
Entertaining post – Sex after kids…. bahahahahahaha!!!

    Dani Ryan 3 years ago

    I’m glad you liked it!

Meg 3 years ago

My husband and I bounced right back to stage 1 after DS10 was born, but stayed in stage 5 after DS3. I’m 15 wks pg with #3 and the last time we had relations was… oh about 15 wks ago. I think I could quite happily go the rest of my life without it, but that could be the 24 hour nausea talking.

Denae @ New Mom Adventure 3 years ago

After my first was born we went back to stage one. Frequency definitely increased. I think it was the hormones. We were very active while pregnant too. After my second was born, everything went down hill. The stress of two plus exhaustion – mood killer. I see both sides of the coin.

Shannon 3 years ago

I’m a big fan of the next stage…sex after divorce. You know what you want, he knows how to do it, AND he has a vasectomy. And you can be loud as shit when the kids are at their dad’s house.

Stephanie 3 years ago

Oh it’s so sad because it’s so true. The transition from JBF hair to Mom hair is a frustrating one, BUT I’m holding out hope that we all will once again partake in afternoon delight much like during the dating phase. And if not, there’s an app for that?

Hana 3 years ago

Reading this while in the waiting room at my obgyn for my 6 week postpartum appointment for baby #3. Sex certainly does change after having kids. Today I could careless if I ever did it again. I’m sure I’ll feel differently as soon as I get a full night’s sleep. Oh life, you are just soooo funny aren’t you!

    Dani Ryan 3 years ago

    I promise you it gets better! I made the fatal mistake of having my first Brazilian wax before my 6-week OBGYN check-up. It wasn’t pretty. I hope you got the thumbs up to get between the sheets again!

Shoshana 3 years ago

I think we more or less followed stages 1-5. Now we are comfortably in Stage 6, which is taking it when you can, and getting what you can whenever you can. Sometimes all we are up for is snuggling, sometimes it is a quickie, and sometimes it is a long evening of pleasure. Just make sure to close the door.

We have also learned that if we show affection outside the bedroom, we are more in the mood later when time and circumstance allows for more intimate activities. We make sure to hug and kiss alot – we may embarass our children (ages 5 and 9) but they get to see that love does not happen just in the bedroom. There are days we spend all day teasing eachother and working up an appetite, so that by the time we are alone, we feel like we have been having fore play all day. There are times I think what we have now is better than our pre-kids sex. We appreciate it more, we know eachother’s bodies more and we care more about making each encounter mean something, or at least mean whatever we want it to at that time – sometimes just a quickie, sometime a passionate encounter.

Not that we don’t miss the days of sexual freedom we had before, but now, at least we know we can’t get pregnant – I definately recommend a vesectomy if you know you are done having babies. Those days of doing it whereever and when ever will come back, but the tradeoff of having my children, who love us (and love spending time with us, not just spending time alone in their room with their toys) is worth a little less sex for a few years. All too soon, they will be off to their own lives.

    Maegan 3 years ago

    Sounds just like my husband and I!! This is what love is about!! The friendship side of love!! Well done!

ElleBeMe 3 years ago

Stage 6:

You stop giving a shit about when the kids are asleep and away. They’re older 4-7 and know enough boundaries and rules of what not to do. So you and your husband start sneaking away to “Talk” upstairs in your room, doors locked for 20 minutes or so. Why? Because late at night we like to sleep, and with a SPED kid babysitters and times away just don’t exist. All is starting to roll again in happyland until your husband’s testosterone drops and you hit your sex peak as a woman in your mid-late 30’s. Then you’ll be begging for it and he just cannot because of hormonal issues. So it’s battery-operated city baby!

Talia 3 years ago

When I was pregnant, I got SO turned on so easy. I was always jumping his bones. Those pregnancy hormones turned me into a perv! I understand that lot of people’s sex lives change when they have kids, but ours never did. We didn’t even make it two weeks post partum before we had to roll in the sheets for chrissakes! That’s just us though. The guy is my soul mate and we’ve always had a ridiculously strong sexual connection.

We’ve been married ten years, together twelve, and we still paw each other and sneak off to get busy every change we get. I also credit our privacy to the fact that we were firm from the beginning that our son would NEVER sleep in our bed. He’s eight now and has only slept in our bed maybe 5 times in eight years and only when he was sick. For bad dreams, we’d cuddle and comfort and then walk him back to his bed. So we’ve never had the misfortune of having to break him of sleeping with us. I was also lucky that for the first four years of his life we lived in Japan on a military base and we had a babysitter every weekends, so we’d get to go out and relax and then go home and get busy. When we moved back to the states we had to get more creative since we didn’t have the extra income to have a sitter all the time. There were lots of trysts in the car, the woods, the shower, the four wheeler etc. We got creative. Having a second to yourself when your kids are small is damn near impossible, but we made it happen. I suppose we’re just two extremely sexual beings…

    Talia 3 years ago

    Excuse me that should be the FIRST EIGHTEEN MONTHS of his life not four that we lived in Japan.

    Talia 3 years ago

    Excuse me that should be the FIRST EIGHTEEN MONTHS of his life not four

      Dani Ryan 3 years ago

      Our daughter was a very bad sleeper for the first 11 months, and at one point my husband suggested bringing her into our bed to help me get some sleep. I was adamant we not do that. SOOOOO glad I stuck to it! 😉

    L 2 years ago

    Non-mother here, and honestly curious, where are your kids during the little creative sessions that you mention like the car or the woods? I assume they’re around, or sneaking wouldn’t be necessary, but them presumably you’re leaving alone kids who are too young to be told to stay put on their own for enough time for you to go upstairs. And now they’re on their own, no idea where mommy or daddy are. I’m just wondering what situation could necessitate or make convenient secret sex in the woods.

      Talia 2 years ago

      My son is almost nine now, and usually too oblivious with his nose stuck in a book or the x-box or up the driveway visiting his uncle and grandmother or playing outside to notice if mom and dad are in the shower together or if we have taken the four wheeler or truck out to the woods on our 30 acres for fifteen minutes. You learn to make time, and we’ve never helicopter parented him. When he was little, we’d leave him with family on the weekend once in a while or he’d hang out with his cousins/aunts/uncles (Who ALSO live on the land.) or wait until he was in bed and then sneak out to the car or take a quick drive around the pasture. We live in the country, where we don’t feel we have to supervise his play or hover over him every second, so trust me, we had plenty of opportunities and still do.

      I find it offensive that you assume that because we are able to carve out those moments that we must neglect our child. From the age of four this kid could be trusted to be alone in the living room for thirty minutes or so, again, nose stuck in a book or the x-box. When he was younger than that, we’d just sneak away while he was in bed to backyard or wherever else. When you have a child, yes, they are your priority, but your marriage or relationship should be on equal footing in the same priority.

        Kay 2 years ago

        You shouldn’t be offended, I live in the city so my first thought was similar, there is no way the car would work ha ha, and too little to leave alone in the house, best we can do is turn on a fav movie of theirs and then run upstairs to the bedroom =)

Stephanie 3 years ago

“The Pulling of the Goalie” HA! Love that!

Kendra 3 years ago

I’m happy to say, after 4 kids and soon 11 yrs of marriage, we have more “fun” together than ever!!! Of course we skipped the moving in together and were both virgins when we got married…I realize that is “old fashioned” and rare these days…but we feel so blessed!!’

So you’re calling bull-shit, doesn’t apply to everyone with kids, thankfully:)

    Dani Ryan 3 years ago

    Good for you, Kendra! 😉

Anna @ My Life and Kids 3 years ago

What is this S-E-X you’re talking about???

Alicia 3 years ago

You gotta love when the newborn ends up in your room next to the bed in her swing and then even better than that…your toddlers bed is in your room because there’s monsters in his room and ends up in your bed at any time of the nite. So romance slowly slips out your door…

exhaustomom 3 years ago

How about the quickie in the closet,bathroom, garage,(The wherever the kids are not phase) which occurs between the time they cannot be left alone for a moment and they can ONLY be left alone for a moment. Our code for this was “Doing laundry”, as in “Where were you for the last 5 minutes?” “We were doing laundry”

    Alicia 3 years ago

    The “quickie” is always wrecked by the kids pounding on the door trying to break in. So no matter how quick we try to be the kids always seem to wreck the mood. School can’t come fast enough :)

      exhaustomom 3 years ago

      True very true!

Melanie 3 years ago

Oh man, sex just gets put on the back burner because I’m physically and mentally drained by days end. -__-Plus my bf gets so paranoid we’ll produce another baby XD Well, I guess that’s what can happen when you have sex! At least that’s what people keep telling me(lol). Age is starting to creep up on us making for some energy drops. Having a roommate slump around our house kinda kills extra time too. I’d love to have a nice romp in our front room like old times, but I’m sure that sight might blind the poor boy XD

Anna@Green Talk 3 years ago

I have four and can tell you this is all true. So by the time they start leaving the house and you think you are free, menopause sets in. The good thing about menopause is you can’t get pregnant anymore but you lose your desire. No one warns you about this. Menopause sucks.

So ladies try and have date night as much as you can.

Mercy 3 years ago

Yes, all of this is true. I laughed at the last one, because that was me – praying the kids would stay asleep when hubby decided to jump me middle of the night.
Now the kids are older, but with hubby’s work hours, and my tiredness, it doesn’t happen very often. Most of the time I don’t feel like it.

buffy 3 years ago

I think one of the key things here is having a husband who just won’t give up. If it was up to me, our sex life would have ended a long time ago. But, 4 kids later, he just won’t let me turn him down too many nights in a row. I’d like to think it’s because I still turn him on, but I think he’s just really horny and gets tired of taking care of it himself after a few days.

    Dani Ryan 3 years ago


MILF Runner 3 years ago

Getting clinical, a lot of moms end up exhausted. Not simply “oh, I’m exhausted” exhausted but truly medically EXHAUSTED. This affects libido. So on top of all the mood killers, you’re probably dealing with less frequent moods. Lack of sex sucks. We have a lot of kids. We went for a long time with very little sex. I was truly medically EXHAUSTED. Now, I’m fixed 😀 In our case, it has come full circle.

Nicole 3 years ago

Sadly, so true…after 4 kids…(sigh)

Melissa 3 years ago

As much as I want sex (when the mood actually strikes) I’m usually too effing tired at the end of the day to be sexy or for an energetic romp in the sack. DS is 3 so maybe in a couple more years things with change.

Jocelyn 3 years ago

Im sorry but in all honesty, our relationship wasn’t like this at all. I married a man 10 years older than me with three teenagers we have full custody. We didn’t do the whole honeymoon dating phase. We started out friends having crazy wild sex all the time and 4 years later we are still friends having hot sex with each other. We had sex the whole way thru my pregnancy, we couldnt get enough of each other. i had a planned csection and we started having sex again 4 days after the baby was born at my request. Our baby is 8 months old now. We make time fo each other but we are still spontaneous. We are lucky, and we realize this. We don’t take it for granted. We are each other’s best friend. We are a great match. I am a career woman and my husband is a pro athlete, but our lives didn’t really change after the baby. We just function on a little less sleep sometimes.

    Mercy 3 years ago

    Sex 4 days after a C-section? Not smart. I had 3 and couldn’t even consider sex for 2 or 3 months afterwards. It was that painful. How did you not damage your incision that was obviously not healed?

      Jocelyn 3 years ago

      The last few weeks of my pregnancy I wanted sex so badly, but the baby had dropped, blocking my g-spot! we could still have sex and we did, but he had to finish me in other ways. I was dying to have an internal orgasm again. I can tell you it was totally my decision, my husband was prepared to wait, I had to talk him into it. Let me just say that we arent wild animals. My husband is a very gentle harlequin-romance novel style lover. Low and slow missionary style! Thats our favorite way. Although my water broke causing my surgery to be moved up a day, I had a planned c-section. My doc used a laser and I heal very fast. I don’t scar very much. He sent me home just 18 hrs after the surgery because of how well i was coming along. A week later I felt like I hadn’t even had surgery. I didn’t have all that lochia stuff either. I had stopped bleeding right after the doc sent me home. I was body building up until I got pregnant, and I wanted a c-section, so I think my mindset had a lot to do with how well and how fast I recovered. I had the best birth experience ever and I can’t wait to do it again!

Jessica 3 years ago

Wow, I feel so sorry for the moms on here!

sex should NOT be a thing of the past once kids are in the picture. I still get it at least ONCE a day, if not more. My son sleeps all night long, and he has play dates which makes it that much easier for me and my boyfriend to have our alone time..

I used to think that sex would be a thing of the past, but hell, I also thought I would never have any children either! Get back under those sheets moms!

Denise 3 years ago

Actually my hubby thinks pregnant women are super sexy. #6 kicks in after the baby starts to sleep through the night and your schedule starts to normalize. You don’t have to wait all the way for school.

Rochelle 3 years ago

I think that this is so not true. I am 36 and My hubby and I have 6 children. and still find the time to be intimate at least 4 times a week. baby wakes up but when they go back to sleep….. its a good time. first thing in the morning when the kids are yet to get up…. its a good time. there are locks on doors and they will be just fine while you are “getting dressed if they should happen to wake up. my husband had no problem with my baby belly and even now that we are done having kids he is still Fine with the aftermath of having 6 kids in 10 years.

    Katie 3 years ago

    There is a first thing in the morning before the kids are up? My baby has basically put my alarm clock out of a job.

      Jenelle 3 years ago

      Ha! Totally. I’m not even sure if we have a working alarm clock in the house. I’d have to be allowed to sleep past 5am to care.

        Dani Ryan 3 years ago

        You’re a lucky woman, Rochelle!

Andie 3 years ago

Sadly, this rings a bell. Guys don’t understand why they don’t get it, after children. They think we are bionic women who can do it all. Good for those who can, but my body can only take so much. The kids are in school (3rd grade and preschool), but my husband works insane hours (literally ALL day). The weekend is my vacation time away from the kids (well, sort of) and his time to relax or spend time with the remote. I don’t blame him, but there’s never a good time for the deed with our two little ones. Our older child is a night owl, and it’s like pulling teeth to get our toddler in bed at a decent hour. By the time the charade is complete, this mama is ready to crash. See where I am going with this? NO time = NO nookie. Hell, if we didn’t have the kids and he worked a M-F 9-5 job, we would still be having dating sex. Life happens. We’re working on it, though…slowly.

Britanie 3 years ago

Ashley, you have one child. That one child is 13 months old and probably can’t get out of the crib yet. Wait. (Plus I’m really jealous that she sleeps so much! That’s awesome!)

    Ashley 3 years ago

    She’s a very unique child, i had a very very high risk pregnancy, and an even worse case of colic with her (first 5 months were…not cool) but now she wants little to do with us- and she sleeps in her big girl bed behind her baby gate- then she moves and plays in her own room. She doesn’t -want- to play with us, she wants to play in her castle and with the kitty. lol. We lucked out big time, but being a military family, given every moment is precious, we do -make- a way to be together.

      L 2 years ago

      Were you and hubby banging 8+ times a week during the colic time?

Karen 3 years ago

Glad to hear it’s not just me I was starting to get a complex …lol this is too funny!

    Dani Ryan 3 years ago


Jenny 3 years ago

I was just interviewing a man for a book I’m ghostwriting, and I needed him to detail for me the events leading up to an important incident in the book. He very shyly said that he wasn’t sure his wife would appreciate him saying so but that they’d made love on the morning of said day. This happened the year after their youngest kiddo left for college, and I had trouble focusing for the rest of the interview because I kept thinking (a) he said “made love” and (b) he had wake-up sex when he was well past my age. There apparently is hope!

    Dani Ryan 3 years ago

    “Made love”?! Oh my!!!!

Karin 3 years ago

Stage 6 is elusive – especially if you have kids that are spread out in age range (not planned). We have 5 boys – from 22 to 6. Our 11 yr old walked in on us while we were in a compromising position in the middle of the night. (Hopefully he was sleepwalking.) He whips open our bedroom door and says “Hi guys! What’s up?!” A sense of humor at this point is critical. And so is the lock.

    Dani Ryan 3 years ago

    OMG, that’s hysterical. Although probably not for you…

Nicole(Whole Strides) 3 years ago

I guess I’m lucky I have a pragmatic husband. And one who worked early in the morning when I was pregnant. He didn’t bear witness to my morning sickness(which was puking in the morning and nausea through the afternoon) and the pregnant belly wasn’t a turn off to him. Perhaps he saw it as a sign of his virility?
But, yes, once your kids are school age, things do get easier. We took advantage of them both being in school. But now, we’re homeschooling, and they’re here at the house all.the.time. We’re back to having to be creative, and staying up extra late.
It could be worse, right?

    Dani Ryan 3 years ago

    That’s it! We’re enrolling her in daycare tomorrow!

    (Kidding. Kind of.)

Mama and the City 3 years ago

1. Correct
2. Correct
3. Correct
4. Correct
5. Correct — and for the love of God, strength. There’s barely energy left with one toddler, I can’t imagine a bigger family. No no no. Sobbing.

    Dani Ryan 3 years ago

    We only have one too. How do the other people cope?!

      Lisa 3 years ago

      I’ve often wondered how the heck people GET more than one kid, seeing as you actually have to find time to do the deed in order to end up with more than one. Hmmm????

        Mercy 3 years ago

        We ended up with 3 very close in age. When the first 2 were babies it was often quickies even if the kids were in the room. We figured they were occupied with their toys and even if they stole a peak they would have no idea what was going on. :) But that had to stop by the time the eldest was 3 ’cause he got curious then.
        Now it’s either at night or on rare occasion we put a video on for them and lock the door. And more than twice a month is a lot. :)

Rachel 3 years ago

Totally have to agree! I’m there although my daughter is 4 and my son is 9. We live in a 1 story 2 bedroom house. We HAVE to wait til the chitlins go to bed or when they are gone.

    Dani Ryan 3 years ago

    We live in a condo. I get you, sista!

lisa-mart 3 years ago

having kids changes your life.. u become frustrated and get mad at your partner more!!!!

Cadence 3 years ago

Luckily, as babies, my kids slept really well. A tad awkward in the first year when the kids slept in the same room! Haha. Mommy confessional. But I do have to agree with the locked door thing…

Ashley 3 years ago

I call horse shit, lol. I am a 25 year old mother of a 13 month old and my husband is of similar age and Active duty AF. Guess what? We have sex 8 times a week, sometimes multiple times a day. 😉 Honest to god truth. Autumn goes off the play, flips us the bird while she’s off doing her business and we go off and do ours. She sleeps 14 hours a night, affording more rolls 😉 Sorry if you all have clingy as hell kids. True, the first few months were intense on the mommy scale, but Autumn just loves to play pretend and has never been one to cling.

    lauren 3 years ago

    Awww…there really is nothing like a cocky mommy…..pun intended.

      Ashley 3 years ago

      Hey man, carpe connubium. 😉

    therobynnest 3 years ago

    You are 25.

      Ashley 3 years ago

      Well, the article was about babies killing sex lives, not age wasn’t it? Autumn is in fact a baby >> My husband works 14 hour shifts, so we get the time together when we can. I suppose having that kind of fire lit under ones arse will motivate things. Especially with the looming threats of deployments.

      Annette 3 years ago

      Exactly. Wait until your 30s, my naive little friend.

        Britanie 3 years ago

        Well I’m 23 and I kind of wish I was Ashley but, with two under two and a husband who works 45 hours a week and goes to school full time, it really doesn’t matter how young I am.

          T 3 years ago

          Noobs. As a veteran mom in a long term relationship with a teenagers and an older woman I find your lack of resourcefulness and creativity depressing. My man and I are both in the military. Our sex life is still great. If your guy doesn’t want to bonk you for being a human being such as being preggers and vomiting then maybe you shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place. The reason most sex lives die is not because of children, it’s because people let themselves go and they aren’t adventurous. People take things for granted until they are gone or don’t have them anymore. I wanted to back Ashley up because she makes some very valid points.

          Britanie 3 years ago

          I would imagine that having teenagers is very different than having a two year old and a six month old. I don’t suppose you are still nursing the teens? I didn’t say anything to discredit Ashley. So I don’t see why you needed to be so mean. I know I’m a “noob”. I think having only been a mother 2 years is pretty much the definition of “noob”. I’m sure things will improve. My husband and I still love each other very much and we do find ways to make it work whenever possible.

    Beth 3 years ago

    I call horse shit.

      Katie 3 years ago

      My money is on Ashley being a guy whose wife is pregnant, and he posted this in desperate hopes that someone, anyone will respond to this post confirming they actually have his fantasy post-baby sex life, because the truth is too sad to face.

      Or maybe there really are people who get this lucky, but you’d think they’d have the good graces not to rub it in.

        lauren 7 months ago

        I also am calling bullshit. As a mom whose husband works 12 hours a day, on third shift with a 16 month old, my sex life has died. The military couple who have immaculate sex lives, good for you. But a news flash. I’m 22. I’ve lost 25 pounds from what I weighed before I got pregnant, I’ve got great hair, wear makeup daily. Pretty sure it’s not because I let myself go. Before I got pregnant we had sex twice a day at least. But with us being alone in the house at night my daughter and I sleep in the bed together so she is close to me. Between the house work, cooking 2+ times a day, taking care of my daughter and my husband working its to hectic to even have time. I don’t leave her alone ever because who knows what could happen when your not there. I don’t care how much confidence you have, or that you have a baby Einstein. It’s not worth chancing just so you can “get off”. I’m just hoping it gets better. I miss sex!

    Lindsay 3 years ago

    Bless your heart! It’s so nice that you’re able too leave your 13 month old while you and your DH have coitus. Unfortunately some of us with “clingy as hell” children like playing with them. If your sex life is as phenomenal as you say, then there’s no need to be snippy. Otherwise, me thinks thou doth protest too much :)

    Dani Ryan 3 years ago

    You are a lucky woman, Ashley. 😉

    Dani Ryan 3 years ago

    You are a lucky woman, Ashley!

    Bianca (WellYesYouMay) 3 years ago

    Be careful there, Ashley. Being that full-of-yourself will displease the mommy gods, and your next kid might have colic.

    Danielle 3 years ago

    How can you leave your child alone while she is awake?! I guess your child is not yet learning to walk and is an extremely sedentary baby with no inclination to move and no curiousity. Otherwise leaving her alone even for a minute long quickie will mean she has pulled some furniture down on herself or found some small object you didn’t notice and chokes on it, or she tries to walk and falls and busts her head. All of which my extremely active daughter would do in a heartbeat. Now she is also climbing everywhere and will probably end up nose diving off the kitchen table if we left her unattended. And after the baby stage, ie toddler stage, playpens don’t work. They just climb out of them and their cribs.

      Ashley 3 years ago

      LOL You must have some very…interesting children. Autumn’s room is child proofed. Her toys, a toddler bed, and her blow up castle. “furniture” isn’t an issue. We have boundaries, Autumn isn’t a foolish or fool hardy child, and has learned the rules. she doesn’t even go in the kitchen without being in my arms, she asks to get up in my arms where the carpet meets the tile. Save your judgment for someone else, idiocy isn’t needed here. nor is pompous foolishness.

        Danielle 3 years ago

        Idiocy and pompous foolishness?! If you have another child you will probably realize that your first was exceptional. Because most very small children ARE foolish and foolhardy. It’s a feature of developing brains that they don’t understand consequences. Or maybe your daughter just hasn’t started that stage of testing her boundries yet. As someone said she is only 13 months. Lots of time for things to change. And one thing is for sure. With children just when you think you’ve finally gotten into the rythym of things. They switch it on you. No judgement.

          Ashley 3 years ago

          A.who said she was awake? I stated the hours she sleeps.
          B. Where in the nine hells do you leave your kid? Mine’s in a baby safe room, and while it not be always and forever we are fortunate to be together so often, this simply goes to discount the fact that children kill sex lives. -__- Age kills sex lives, fine, but that’s not what this post is about. Age decreases hormones, so that is a no brainer. Brand new babies? OK I get that, but some kids are independent. Autumn rather play in her castle than with me, or harassing the dog. But being afforded a few hours with my husband to kiss or snuggle or copulate? I hardly think that is placing my child in mortal risk, and anyone who thinks so aught to go face palm and walk away.

          Danielle 3 years ago

          Well you just completely misunderstood everything I tried to say and instead got very defensive… again. But you have not discounted the theory that having children disrupts sex life. Instead you have shown there is always an exception to every rule. I am actually happy your sex life hasn’t been adversely affected. Enjoy it because it is good for the whole family’s happiness and well being.

          Synth 2 years ago

          A) You said she was awake (at times): “Autumn goes off the play, flips us the bird while she’s off doing her business and we go off and do ours.” Sounds to me like she’s awake at times while you’re off bangin’ away.

          B) “But being afforded a few hours with my husband to kiss or snuggle or copulate? I hardly think that is placing my child in mortal risk, and anyone who thinks so aught to go face palm and walk away.” Agreed, if you were solely walking away from a SLEEPING 13-month old, confined in a crib/PnP/whathaveyou where she can’t get out and explore. As stated before, one that’s awake, no matter how childproofed the room, will eventually find a way to endanger, injure, or mutilate itself or the dog. And leaving a 13-month old alone with a dog? Well, that’s a whole other ball of wax. A dog’s demeanor can change in an instant, no matter how docile, especially if pain is involved. I’m lucky – my dog allows my 15-month old DD to climb on, tug, smack, and poke her without reacting, but I still wouldn’t leave them together out of my sight. Most incidents of dogs biting children aren’t because the dog was bad, but more often it’s because the parent wasn’t being vigilant.

          Any way you look at it, I’m pretty certain this is just trolling to be a troll.

        CMJ 3 years ago

        You shouldn’t put your name and daughters name out there on a blog talking about how much sex you have. Maybe you should be a bit more discreet. Glad you are enjoying a healthy sex life.

        nicole 1 year ago

        methinks ashley is a troll

Vicki 3 years ago

Nooners? Seriously? More like noners….

    Dani Ryan 3 years ago


My Half Assed Life 3 years ago

I never made it past 5 with my ex husband, but I can tell you if you have a relationship after a long stretch of singledom, you should always lock your door, even if your kids are actually almost adults who should know to knock.

    Dani Ryan 3 years ago

    We’ll be buying a lock this weekend…

    Debbie 1 year ago

    Ahhh they knock, they just don’t wait for us to say, ” come in.” Which is why they get the worst view in the world. The two of us frantically trying to hide the naked parts.

      Debbie 1 year ago

      By the way, I forgot to say that the boys back away quickly, tripping over their gigantic muddy shoes. The girls just stand there waiting for us to find clothes, or a sheet, a towel, a couple of times a pillow.

therobynnest 3 years ago

The secret to getting your sex life back after babies is to have him get a vasectomy.

    Summer 3 years ago

    We skipped the vasectomy part and now have baby #5 on the way!!! We won’t be skipping that step again!

    Annette 3 years ago

    Amen, sister! Nothing like being able to do the deed with reckless abandon, ovulation-be-damned!

      Dani Ryan 3 years ago

      BAHAHAHA!!! I imagine that helps!

    Christine 7 months ago

    Oh how I’ve tried. My husband is usually a pretty agreeable guy but he’s stuck on “ain’t nobody cutting my nuts”

Lisa Gonzalez 3 years ago

I missed the step between moving in and getting pregnant. oops.

    Dani Ryan 3 years ago


    Jess g 1 year ago

    me too sister!! lol

    Cait 12 months ago

    Same! lmao.

sara 3 years ago

So funny and true!!!

    Dani Ryan 3 years ago

    I’m glad I made you laugh!

JD Bailey @ Honest Mom 3 years ago

“Something about poking the baby (men like to flatter themselves, don’t they?)”


From what I understand, Stage 6 is when kids are in school and generally not home that much. And then the magic slowly starts to creep back in.

At least, I hope that’s true.


    Dani Ryan 3 years ago

    Fingers crossed, my friend!

    Jennifer 1 year ago

    Wait but what about working parents? My husband and I both work, so the whole “nooner” thing won’t work for us. Depressing!

      Becca 12 months ago

      We both work too. He works 6 am-2:30 pm while I am home with the boys, one of whom goes to Kindergarten afternoons and the other is home all day. He comes home, we say how the day was, I work in a Doctor’s office from 3:30-9pm. Except Friday when I work 2-6 pm.

      We usually don’t end up “doing it” because we both technically work double shifts, and his is so much earlier then mine, and he goes to sleep almost as soon as his head hits the pillow.

      Showers are still sometimes the best time/way. Turn a show on for them, and pray they get along for about 30 minutes, and no one has to pee.

Meredith 3 years ago

Ack! All this is sadly too, too true! And I’m with you, if it’s anything but nooners in the next phase, I don’t want to know.

    Dani Ryan 3 years ago

    Fingers crossed we get to go back to the Dating Phase when the kids are in school full time!

    Veronique 2 years ago

    Things for us were fine until my son hit the teenage years and began roaming the house until all odd hours. My husband and I used to have sex at lunch. I remember one time after my son got his driver’s license he brought some friends home for lunch and well…it was pretty funny. He gave us a very lost look as we came downstairs and said, ‘Where were you guys?’

      Pauline 9 months ago

      Tell me about teenagers! Ack! We sent them messages just before we start, asking them what time they’ll be back, any reply apart from “OTW – on the way” is our cue to start.


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