Pinterest, I hate you. Again.


Today, I stumbled upon an experiment for homemade lava lamps on Pinterest, bookmarking it for later use. I made the mistake of leaving the window open, and when Ben was looking over my shoulder this afternoon, he spotted it. Ohhhh, cool. Can we make those today? Ben asked. Sure, my love. We can.

I took out the measuring cups and the vegetable oil and a glass jar before realizing that we were out of food coloring. Ben’s face fell. When Daddy gets home, I’ll get you food coloring, I promised. Don’t worry.

When Jeff got home, I held up my end of the bargain. We have a Whole Foods five minutes away and I called to make sure they had food coloring before heading over. They did. Phew.

I arrived at the store to discover that Whole Food indeed carries food coloring, and that it is priced at TWENTY DOLLARS. I lost five minutes of my life standing in the aisle debating whether it was worth the extra fifteen bucks to save the time and energy it would take to drive to the Giant 15 minutes away or if I should just suck it up and return home with the damn bottles. My little boy’s face appeared in my head and the next thing I knew, I was waiting in line.

Whole Foods, Seriously???

The clerk asked how I was this evening. I smiled and grumbled that I was fine other than the fact that I was about to spend twenty dollars on freaking food coloring. She laughed and asked why didn’t just go to Giant where they sell it for a few dollars. You’re right, I responded. I thanked her and left empty handed.

Drove 15 minutes to Giant. Found the food coloring. Waited in line. Read about Drew Barrymore’s new baby. Grabbed some gum. Discovered once I went to pay that I’d left Whole Foods a little more empty handed than I realized and had no way to actually pay for the four dollar food coloring I was so thrilled to see.

Left Giant to drive back to Whole Foods to retrieve my wallet, which I prayed was where I left it. Fortunately, it was. Along with the twenty dollar food coloring which I promptly purchased, rolling my eyes at myself the whole time and vowing to never again pin science experiments for the kids.

Arrived home to eager Ben waiting to conduct the great lava lamp experiment of 2012. Added the oil, the salt, the water and the food coloring to the glass jar and, together, we waited for the magic to happen. And we waited. And we waited some more. “Isn’t it supposed to do something?” Yeah, Ben, it was. Sorry, my love.

I blame the all natural, no preservative, plant based food coloring.

Pinterest, we’re done.

(Once again.)


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  1. Stephanie says

    Oh NO! I thought the food coloring for $20 was bad enough. Glad you found your wallet, though. I “lost” my debit card two weeks ago, and I was sweating from every pore in my body until I found it. Good choice. No more science experiments.

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  2. Heidi Bryan says

    I have to admit that I have yet to really get into Pinterest because I don’t need yet another reason to feel like an incompetent mother :) I did refer one of my patients to Pinterest the other night. I am a labor and delivery nurse. She wanted to know if our hospital provided the service of turning her placenta into capsules after her delivery. I told her “Nope, but I bet you can find something on Pinterest. I hear they have all kinds of do it yourself projects.”

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  3. Nicole DeZarn says

    Mix mineral oil and colored water in a 20 oz bottle with a little hot glue in the lid. It’s physics, move it around and the shit wiggles, you can’t fuck it up (or I would have, I promise.) If you get all froggy throw some glitter in that bad boy and you can wear the crafty crown. I like to consider myself crafty and I home school one of my minions so I have to do science but, whenever possible, I like to do it as half ass as possible and still come out looking cool. BOOM! Thanks for but another giggle, Jill! XO

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  4. Amanda says

    I’ve tried to do a couple of experiments from Pinterest with my boys, but they just roll their eyes and tell me they did that particular experiment years earlier at school. They’re seven years old and in second grade. I’m not quite sure what high school is going to bring.

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  5. Carla says

    If you came across my child in a dark alley after he’s eaten something with artificial food dyes, you’d punch me in the face and throw $20 at me and tell me to buy the damn natural food dyes. You do know that Europe requires food manufacturers to label any food with artificial food dyes as hazardous to children? As a result, Europe gets natural food coloring and in the US we get crude oil based food dyes in our food. It’s all very interesting how our food is treated in the US. Anyway, your natural plant based food dyes aren’t going to react the same as crude oil based dyes in your lava lamp. Sorry.

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