The Valentine’s Day Cards You Should Be Sending

Having trouble finding the perfect Valentine’s Day cards for your young child’s class? Ones that say exactly what you want to say to his or her precious classmates? I thought you might be. I’m here to help…

About the writer


What started as an innocent on-line baby book to chronicle Jill Smokler’s stay-at-home days with her children, quickly transformed into a vibrant community of parents, brought together by a common theme: Parenting doesn’t have to be perfect. Welcome to Scary Mommy!


Meredith 4 years ago

Fantastic work! Hallmark should snatch you up immediately.

Nuts about food 4 years ago

Spot on! You were writing about my daughter’s class right?

Kisha 4 years ago

These are wonderful, I can’t stop laughing.
Too bad that my kids pre-school asked for parents not to send valentines. These would be perfect!

Cassie 4 years ago

I love the last one! If my son comes home sick from daycare again, he will be put into a giant bubble with a hand santitizer dispenser strapped to his hip. Great cards!!

Not Supermom 4 years ago

Sending these in the children’s backpacks to pass out at school would be wrong, right?

Particularly if I sign them “XOXO, Your PTA President?”

Jess 4 years ago

Now that is talent, these are hilarious.

Brenna @ Almost All The Truth 4 years ago

Is it wrong that I want to send some of these to some adults I know? Anonymously of course, or should I say “from a secret admirer?”

Liz @ PeaceLoveGuac 4 years ago

These are hilarious!

Ronda 4 years ago

Ha ha! Those are awesome! After doing a little volunteer work in my son’s class there HAS to be one that says: “I’ll whisper sweet nothings in your ear just as soon as you remove that chunk of a carrot.” I’m telling ya. That kid could have used a Qtip or 10. barf!
Love this blog by the way…new reader in the group.

Kate Coveny Hood 4 years ago

Start producing these immediately! Brilliant.

Amanda 4 years ago

You mean there’s a time when boys stop picking their noses and eating it?? Woot woot!

    Not Supermom 4 years ago

    Please notify The Husband of this.

Karen 4 years ago

Love them all! They are absolutely perfect! Ha ha… Thanks for the laugh :)

Alison@Mama Wants This 4 years ago

Haha, LOVE these cards!

tori 4 years ago

Nothing sweeter than asking your valentine to get a lice check! Hilarious!

Jadzia@Toddlerisms 4 years ago

I LOVE these. I think I saw the real live version of “you’re much less gross than any other boy in the class” take place today outside my son’s school. There was an adorable little girl trying REALLY hard to get his attention, and I saw her tugging on her dad’s sleeve to point him out. And then when we were walking home the dad drove past us beeping, and the little girl was waving madly! The Boy told me that she likes him but doesn’t “hand” him. But that he wants to hold hands with her.

Oy. They are 5.

    Scary Mommy 4 years ago

    Oy is right. My five year old still wants to marry me. I’ll take it.

C @ Kid Things 4 years ago

If only every kid would wash their hands after pooping. It would be like Valentine’s day every day.

    Scary Mommy 4 years ago

    It would be freaking Christmas every day. Can you even imagine?!

Marinka 4 years ago


Carrie 4 years ago

Funny how there’s not much difference between grade school and the workplace.

Apparently, it’s true. Some things never change.

    Scary Mommy 4 years ago

    I was *just* thinking that. Frightening.

Tiffany Barry 4 years ago

Do you think their parents will mind if I actually send these? 😛

They seem more appropriate than some of the overpriced crap they’re peddling at Walmart… and hilarious!

Seriously Sassy Mama 4 years ago

Those are awesome!

Kerrie McLoughlin 4 years ago

Me again! Just wanted to say two things: (1) Forget my homeschool group; I started one called Heathen Homeschoolers instead and (2) We are those lazy people who buy the horrible-for-you Fun Dip packets and pass those out instead of making or buying normal valentines. Maybe I should put that in the Confessional .. :-)

    Scary Mommy 4 years ago

    THAT is a homeschooling group I could get on board with!

      Kerrie McLoughlin 4 years ago

      SM, you would be welcome in our group! It’s all-inclusive … atheists getting along with Christians and so on. We can talk about presidential candidates and pot and gay marriage and not throw down! If someone gets dramatic or can’t be cool, I can just kick ’em out (except I have issues with that since I got kicked out of a group … so I’m being a big ole baby about keeping one drama queen).

        Not Supermom 4 years ago

        Can someone please pass me the sign-up sheet?

mmsped 4 years ago

These are fantastic. I’d love to send these with my little boy to Pre-K on Tuesday! Unfortunatly, he already picked out Cars valentines. lol

Johanna 4 years ago

Seriously! Where did you find those??

They are perfection!

    Scary Mommy 4 years ago

    I made them. So much more fun than buying. :)

Pattie Crider 4 years ago

To bad parents are not invited to my daughter’s kindergarten VDay party. Then again, these might get me banned! LOL

Kerrie McLoughlin 4 years ago

Oh, man, I wish I had some of these to pass out at the homeschool party I got banned from coming to. I could crash it and pass out amazing valentines to the adults, like “Thanks for kicking me out of your group, kiss my ass!” or “If I am ever as uptight as you, please shoot me!”

    Scary Mommy 4 years ago

    You got banned from a homeschooling party? That’s got to be a good story. :)

      Not Supermom 4 years ago

      I’m waiting…

      No really. I’m waiting to hear this one.

      ::puts chin on hands, bats eyes::

        Melissa 1 year ago

        My daughter who is 7, almost 8, totally does that Supermom!!!!

Susan 4 years ago

I’ll probably print these out and use them. I’m terrified of getting lice. Great, now I’m going to itch my head all day.

    Scary Mommy 4 years ago

    My head has been itching since I got a notice from school earlier this week. We all had it a few years ago and it was worse than I ever even imagined.

Mia 4 years ago

Ha! Perfect.

Chantelle 4 years ago

I like the contagious ones. one thing i miss about homeschooling is the kids not bringing cooties home constantly.

    Scary Mommy 4 years ago

    That’s the only reason homeschooling has ever appealed to me at all.

Sweety Darlin 4 years ago

Be my Valentine! Right after I get confirmation of any genetic abnormalities in your family that may result in unattractive offspring. Also I need to get an IQ test to make some mathematical evaluation of your long term earning potential.

Thanks for your understanding.

    Scary Mommy 4 years ago

    And, who says romance is dead?!

MJ 4 years ago

Oh totally passing these out on Tuesday.

Faye Carlisle 4 years ago

Funny! I like the lice card particularly.

micki 4 years ago

I SO wish our kids went to preschool together!!!

Arnebya 4 years ago

Oh, that last one — that’s it (also, the one about washing hands after pooping). Wait, ALL of them are keepers, dammit!


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