Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
What started as an innocent on-line baby book to chronicle Jill's stay-at-home days with her children, (Lily, Ben, and Evan) quickly transformed into a vibrant community of parents, brought together by a common theme: Parenting doesn’t have to be perfect. Learn more here.
@scarymommy
NYT bestselling author of Confessions of a Scary Mommy and Motherhood Comes Naturally (And Other Vicious Lies). Fond of curse words, sarcasm and Diet Coke.
@jaimeparker So happy to hear that - thank you!!! - 4 hours ago
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- The Disney Reveal - May 14, 2013
- Met My Match At Disney… - May 13, 2013
- Sunday’s Baltimore Sun - May 11, 2013
Having trouble finding the perfect Valentine’s Day cards for your young child’s class? Ones that say exactly what you want to say to his or her precious classmates? I thought you might be. I’m here to help…
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{You can download them and more on my Facebook page}
{ 46 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh, that last one — that’s it (also, the one about washing hands after pooping). Wait, ALL of them are keepers, dammit!
Arnebya recently posted..Writer’s Workshop: Beware, Robbers! We Have Bats and Knives and Lots of Vinyl
I SO wish our kids went to preschool together!!!
Funny! I like the lice card particularly.
Faye Carlisle recently posted..Is shared parental leave a good thing?
Oh totally passing these out on Tuesday.
Be my Valentine! Right after I get confirmation of any genetic abnormalities in your family that may result in unattractive offspring. Also I need to get an IQ test to make some mathematical evaluation of your long term earning potential.
Thanks for your understanding.
Sweety Darlin recently posted.."Jesus is a Pimpin’ Zombie"
And, who says romance is dead?!
I like the contagious ones. one thing i miss about homeschooling is the kids not bringing cooties home constantly.
That’s the only reason homeschooling has ever appealed to me at all.
Ha! Perfect.
I’ll probably print these out and use them. I’m terrified of getting lice. Great, now I’m going to itch my head all day.
Susan recently posted..For When I’m Loaded…
My head has been itching since I got a notice from school earlier this week. We all had it a few years ago and it was worse than I ever even imagined.
Oh, man, I wish I had some of these to pass out at the homeschool party I got banned from coming to. I could crash it and pass out amazing valentines to the adults, like “Thanks for kicking me out of your group, kiss my ass!” or “If I am ever as uptight as you, please shoot me!”
Kerrie McLoughlin recently posted..I Hate Women Sometimes
You got banned from a homeschooling party? That’s got to be a good story. :)
I’m waiting…
No really. I’m waiting to hear this one.
::puts chin on hands, bats eyes::
To bad parents are not invited to my daughter’s kindergarten VDay party. Then again, these might get me banned! LOL
Pattie Crider recently posted..Protected: Reviews
Seriously! Where did you find those??
They are perfection!
Johanna recently posted..Ten Things I Know at Ten.
I made them. So much more fun than buying. :)
These are fantastic. I’d love to send these with my little boy to Pre-K on Tuesday! Unfortunatly, he already picked out Cars valentines. lol
Me again! Just wanted to say two things: (1) Forget my homeschool group; I started one called Heathen Homeschoolers instead and (2) We are those lazy people who buy the horrible-for-you Fun Dip packets and pass those out instead of making or buying normal valentines. Maybe I should put that in the Confessional .. :-)
Kerrie McLoughlin recently posted..I Hate Women Sometimes
THAT is a homeschooling group I could get on board with!
SM, you would be welcome in our group! It’s all-inclusive … atheists getting along with Christians and so on. We can talk about presidential candidates and pot and gay marriage and not throw down! If someone gets dramatic or can’t be cool, I can just kick ‘em out (except I have issues with that since I got kicked out of a group … so I’m being a big ole baby about keeping one drama queen).
Kerrie McLoughlin recently posted..I Hate Women Sometimes
Can someone please pass me the sign-up sheet?
Those are awesome!
Seriously Sassy Mama recently posted..Friday Bullets
Do you think their parents will mind if I actually send these? :P
They seem more appropriate than some of the overpriced crap they’re peddling at Walmart… and hilarious!
Tiffany Barry recently posted..It’s The Little Things
Funny how there’s not much difference between grade school and the workplace.
Apparently, it’s true. Some things never change.
Carrie recently posted..Dance? Oh, I’ll dance. Just not before 10:00 am.
I was *just* thinking that. Frightening.
Perfect.
Marinka recently posted..Moms. So Many Moms. A Million of Them.
If only every kid would wash their hands after pooping. It would be like Valentine’s day every day.
C @ Kid Things recently posted..An Imperfect Real World Story
It would be freaking Christmas every day. Can you even imagine?!
I LOVE these. I think I saw the real live version of “you’re much less gross than any other boy in the class” take place today outside my son’s school. There was an adorable little girl trying REALLY hard to get his attention, and I saw her tugging on her dad’s sleeve to point him out. And then when we were walking home the dad drove past us beeping, and the little girl was waving madly! The Boy told me that she likes him but doesn’t “hand” him. But that he wants to hold hands with her.
Oy. They are 5.
Jadzia@Toddlerisms recently posted..Paging Gracie Allen
Oy is right. My five year old still wants to marry me. I’ll take it.
Nothing sweeter than asking your valentine to get a lice check! Hilarious!
tori recently posted..Celi Mosley: This Bloggy Wedding Has A Need For Swede.
Haha, LOVE these cards!
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Love, Life and Loss
Love them all! They are absolutely perfect! Ha ha… Thanks for the laugh :)
Karen recently posted..Valentine’s Day Wreath
You mean there’s a time when boys stop picking their noses and eating it?? Woot woot!
Amanda recently posted..Boys and Bike Riding and Picture Tolerance
Please notify The Husband of this.
Start producing these immediately! Brilliant.
Ha ha! Those are awesome! After doing a little volunteer work in my son’s class there HAS to be one that says: “I’ll whisper sweet nothings in your ear just as soon as you remove that chunk of a carrot.” I’m telling ya. That kid could have used a Qtip or 10. barf!
Love this blog by the way…new reader in the group.
These are hilarious!
Liz @ PeaceLoveGuac recently posted..Underwriters
Is it wrong that I want to send some of these to some adults I know? Anonymously of course, or should I say “from a secret admirer?”
Brenna @ Almost All The Truth recently posted..Pollution: some interesting facts about our contaminated world.
Now that is talent, these are hilarious.
Jess recently posted..Things I Love.
Sending these in the children’s backpacks to pass out at school would be wrong, right?
Particularly if I sign them “XOXO, Your PTA President?”
I love the last one! If my son comes home sick from daycare again, he will be put into a giant bubble with a hand santitizer dispenser strapped to his hip. Great cards!!
Cassie recently posted..Open-Mouthed Kisses
These are wonderful, I can’t stop laughing.
Too bad that my kids pre-school asked for parents not to send valentines. These would be perfect!
Kisha recently posted..Dinner (Now!): Vegetarian Fried Rice
Spot on! You were writing about my daughter’s class right?
Nuts about food recently posted..Tomato chickpea soup with roasted cumin
Fantastic work! Hallmark should snatch you up immediately.
Meredith recently posted..Getting my money’s worth.