10 Things You’ll Miss About Pregnancy – Scary Mommy

10 Things You’ll Miss About Pregnancy

Vasileios Economou / iStock

I’m really happy to have my pregnancies behind me—I’m not gonna lie. My second pregnancy felt like it was never going to end. But now that I am not a hugely uncomfortable pregnant woman and there is not impending birth to worry about, I’m starting to remember all the pregnancy perks that are actually pretty awesome.

If you are in the thick of a pregnancy and getting more tired and huge by the day, try to remember some of the great stuff that’s happening for you right now. You’ll miss it when it’s over.

1. Strangers are actually nice to you.

We all know the world isn’t a nice place—well, Brooklyn isn’t, anyway. There are people who passed me in the street for seven years who never returned a smile until I was pregnant. It’s like they’re not really smiling at you—they’re smiling at your womb.

2. Your hair is probably amazing.

A weird thing happens when you are pregnant: Your hair doesn’t fall out. Mine was full, shiny, and glorious, and I didn’t have to hear my husband’s incessant complaining about my hair in the shower drain. He’s one of those passive-aggressive types who takes the clump and sticks it on the shower wall to illustrate my misdeed. That wasn’t happening for months! Our relationship was so much better. It’s happening again.

3. No one cares if you forget things or are generally stupid.

Everyone seems to agree that pregnant women are allowed to be totally clueless. Pregnancy brain is real, and people know it. That parasite growing inside of you is eating your brain, and you always have a perfect excuse for forgetting stuff. Pro tip: Once the baby is born, pregnancy brain turns into baby brain. You never have to remember anything again—rejoice!

4. Your huge belly makes your butt look smaller.

Apart from my giant, protruding belly, I always felt more well-proportioned during my pregnancies. Go figure.

5. No one minds when you burst into tears. In fact, they expect it.

Everything will make you cry, but no one cares because they expect it. Thank you pregnancy rom-coms. You can burst into tears at any moment, and people will act like it’s the most normal thing in the world.  I once burst into tears when I asked my husband to bring me home a bagel with butter, and he brought a Lender’s bagel with margarine. We lived in New York at the time so a Lender’s bagel was truly inexcusable, and margarine is not butter, you idiot. Waahhhhh!

6. People are always trying to give you food.

OK, this should have been No. 1. Everyone always wants you to eat and is shoving food in your face. It’s awesome. The world should always be like this. Italian grandmothers are on to something. Eat! Eat! 

7. You have glamour-length nails.

I have the nail beds of a 9-year-old. This is a quality that is more pronounced because I am never able to grow my nails. I don’t bite them or anything; they’re just not that strong, and I’m clumsy. Pregnancy hormones make your nails long and strong. It’s pretty impressive.

8. The world finally understands the importance of naps.

Naps are a wonderful thing. Everyone agrees except the toddler you’re about to have. When you are not working, eating, or merely existing, no one will give you grief for sleeping constantly. Man, it’s nice.

9. You can be a total bitch and people will let it go.

You can be a raging bitch and people just let it roll off their backs. It’s awesome.

10. Everyone is always offering you a seat.

You’ll finally understand what chivalry is like. It only lasts for nine months, so soak it up.