2014-THANKSgiving

Required Reading

37 Comments

I read an article yesterday about a new cover for the Anne of Green Gables series. As someone who gobbled up the books as a tween and still watches the PBS version religiously when it airs at telethon time, I was horrified. It’s Anne, for crying out loud! Red-haired, spunky, messy, tomboy Anne!

required-readingWhat is the world coming to?

Sex sells. We know this, as unfortunate as it may be, but the fact of the matter is that Anne of Green Gables is infinitely superior to the other vampire smut that tweens and teens are gobbling up these days. So, maybe, just maybe, the publishers of this edition are actually on to something.

Imagine a twelve year old picking up that book thinking that he or she is going to be reading about some hot dutch blond teenager and her racy escapades. While busy thumbing through to find the juicy scenes, they might — gasp! — actually begin to like the story. And read it. A real piece of literature, and not one forced upon them! Stranger things have happened, you know. (Like horribly written soft-core porn topping best seller’s lists.)

So, I’m thinking some other transformations to required reading might be in order…

The Catcher in the Rye, Smutified

Little Women, Smutified

Romeo and Juliet, Smutified

A Separate Peace, Smutified

The Crucible, Smutified

Not such a bad idea, huh?

OK, never mind. It totally is.

Comments

The Scary Mommy Community is built on support. If your comment doesn't add to the conversation in a positive or constructive way, please rethink submitting it. Basically? Don't be a dick, please.

  1. 1

    Debbie says

    Where have all our little Tomboys gone? I toldly agree with this. Why mess up a good think. As they say, “You can’t tell a book by its cover.” it is like advertising a toy on TV and you know it really isn’t going to work like they say it does and most likely is going to fall apart the first time the kid plays with it. Thanks for sharing this info
    Debbie

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  2. 2

    susan says

    I saw in the bookstore about a year ago “if you like twilight, you’ll love…” And under this sign were repackaged Jane Austen books…dark covers with buxom ladies. Initially I was upset (I’m an Austenite) but then I figured if one girl was coverted from Jacob/Edward to Darcy, it was worth it.

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  3. 4

    Stephanie says

    I love the idea. I think this would get a lot of teenagers reading, as a 25 year old (me) who has custody of my 16 year old who doesn’t read. . . this actually might help!

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  4. 5

    Kristin says

    I couldn’t believe what I saw when I clicked on that link. And I have connections in publishing who are baffled as well. WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?

    What would they come up with for Little House in the Big Woods? Sheesh.

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  5. 9

    Talia says

    The Anne cover would be okay if the girl had red hair and and was posed a little less provocatively. I must admit I LOVE the Romeo and Juliet cover. That one is actually right on the money considering the passion and chemistry the two protagonists have throughout the play/book. The rest of them however, made me giggle!

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  6. 11

    Chantelle says

    I love it lol. I’ve always been a book worm but I suspect the “The Catcher in the Rye” and “A Separate Peace” covers would convert many of my “I only wanna watch the movie” friends hahahahaha

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  7. 12

    kc @ genxfinance says

    Yes, sex sells and that is the reason why all of those crappy-movies-that-ruined-the-book make such a huge money. (although, there are some movies that gave the book some justice.) ;)

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  8. 13

    Kiran says

    That IS hysterical. You know what? Nothing IS sacred. Do you know what the cover for “The Bell Jar” by very vocal feminist Sylvia Plath? It looks like really bad chick-lit gone terribly wrong.

    And no, it’s not a joke. I kept thinking it was.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/9854783/Sylvia-Plaths-The-Bell-Jars-new-cover-is-just-perfect-no-chick-lit-in-sight.html

    Nothing’s sacred. Winnie the Pooh isn’t going to be wearing any pants next!

    Oh. Shit.
    Kiran

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  9. 18

    Andrea says

    I’ve noticed the trend to sell the ‘sex’ at a younger and younger age. Have you ever been in Justice? I shudder and I refuse to let my kid go in there. Anne of Green Gables is a wonderful story, one I loved as a child. It’s sad when the only way to get kids to read is to slap a sex symbol on the front.

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  10. 19

    Jane says

    My mum used to teach illiterate high school kids to read. These where troubled kids, labeled as a problem that no one else had time for. But they listened to her and her no nonsense, tough love style and she had a pretty good success rate. Her rule was always – learning to read comes first – what they read comes second.

    She would let the kids read anything – and I mean anything – comic books, their learners permit manual, playboy magazine – whatever it took to get them to park their butt in a chair and learn the basics of reading. Maybe some of them went on to learn to love reading and maybe some of them just leaned to read well enough to get a job. Either way she helped those kids – who cares about a bit of smut, swearing or bad cliched tween crap.

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  11. 20

    mamabear says

    Wow. It might work though…I first read the Catcher in the Rye when I was a teen because it was on my school’s ‘banned books’ list. I love it still and have since gone on to read many of the other classics. Sometimes all teenagers need is for something to feel bad or forbidden to get into it.

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  12. 21

    My Half Assed Life says

    I really loved Anne of Green Gables when I was a child. Part of me wants to say don’t mess with it, but if it gets one pre-teen to read anything other than twilight isn’t it a good thing?

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  13. 23

    Jenny Isenman AKA Jenny From the Blog says

    Dying over the Crucible!!! I love how slutified all the dolls have gotten. Hello, my daughter’s Bratz dolls came with a Brazilian waxing kit and a diaphragm. (No,they didn’t, but they should’ve)

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