Resolutions

64 Comments

This year, instead of making New Year’s resolutions I’m bound to break within 48 hours like eating less, swearing less or spending less time on the computer, I’ve decided to make a couple of resolutions that I might actually be able to keep.

No.

That I WILL ACTUALLY KEEP.

First, I resolve to expect less from myself.

2012 was the most exciting year of my life, but it was also the hardest. Instead of enjoying the milestones and achievements, I spent months comparing myself to people who were reaching bigger milestones and achieving more. Nothing I did was ever good enough because I was too busy trying to top myself.

This year, I’m aiming lower. I don’t have to write the most successful book or have the biggest tour or get the most reviews. What I do have to do? Chill out. Enjoy it. Lighten the hell up. Where the book is concerned, but everywhere else as well.

I also want to master the fine art of saying “no”.

No, I can’t rearrange my schedule to help out at school at the last minute. No, I don’t have time to chair that board that I really do care about. No, I can’t arrange for a babysitter just to schedule a call when it’s convenient for someone else.

If something simply doesn’t work for me, for whatever reason, I resolve to say no without apologizing 500 times times and then caving and doing it anyway.

No. I can do that.

Just, no.

Go easier on myself and know my limits. Shouldn’t be all that hard.

Plus, drink more water, of course.

I’ve got to allow some room for failure.

Comments

  1. 1

    Symanntha Renn says

    Those sound like great Resolutions Jill! I am going easy on myself this year too. My only Resolution is to read 3 classic books before the end of next year.

  2. 4

    Elaine says

    Your 2012 was pretty awesome. And I was so glad I got to hug you this year! :-) Here’s to a water-logged 2013 full of “No”s!!!

    Mwah!

  3. 5

    Super Sarah says

    LOVE NO. I used to work with a little autistic girl who learned the “I want,” sentence structure (e.g. “I want cracker,” or “I want outside,” or whatever) and eventually learned “no.” So, you see where this is going, she just said, “I want NO.” And often I do, too. Not “I want no,” so sorry, I’m such a jerk, etc. Just “I want no.” The end.

  4. 8

    Andrea says

    I’m with you. I just posted a few resolutions, too )…but I forgot to add drink more water. I’m perpetually thirsty. Good luck in 2013!

  5. 9

    Stefanie says

    Yes on No.

    And I can SO relate to this…”Instead of enjoying the milestones and achievements, I spent months comparing myself to people who were reaching bigger milestones and achieving more. Nothing I did was ever good enough because I was too busy trying to top myself.” I resolve to enjoy my successes, not compare them! Also, I need to see your face.

  6. 13

    Dora Groothousen says

    HOORAY! 2012 Introduce pinterest to many of us and has put the pressure on us even more to be these “Perfect Stepford Wives/Moms”. I love the neat things I find on Pinterest but not going to ALLOW others to make me feel bad because my kids party wasnt as snazzy as theirs. Hence why a few weeks ago she did not have a party for her 2nd birthday. We went to Chuck E Cheese just the 3 of us and had a ball. Besides we are going to Disney in March. Would rather spend all of that money there on family time VS a party with a TON of adults and barely any kids.

  7. 14

    Christine says

    Thanks for your post – setting boundaries is totally where I’m at for 2013 – and if people can’t seem to deal with the “no” they will indeed get a “hell no” complete with hand on hip because I just don’t have time for it. I can relate to so much of what you post – I’m a mom and a physician – I work with the mentally ill and when my work doesn’t exhaust me, my child and crazy ass dog do. My husband is a good man – thank God and helps me the best way he knows how. They are worth every second and what I love about your inspiring blog is that despite all the bitching and moaning that comes along with being a mom – its still quite clear that you still feel its the best job ever. I couldn’t agree more. Sigh… back to work.

  8. 15

    anymommy says

    Yes to more no and more water. I need more of those in my life. Also, I aspire to accomplish even half of what you’ve achieved since I “met” you and started to read your brilliant, sparkly stuff. The idea that you wouldn’t think it’s enough is amazing to me. But I get it, I’m terribly hard on myself as well.

  9. 18

    BloggerFather says

    Good luck on the water thing. I got myself a CamelBak last year, and water is no longer an impossible task. I also need to stop looking at myself through other people too.

  10. 19

    Emily says

    That’s a great resolution. Us moms get so caught up in trying to make everyone else happy around us and totally forgetting about our own happiness. I’m just reading your book and its very inspiring. You’re a down to earth true mother. Enjoy 2013! :D

  11. 20

    Lynnette says

    Hi, I had the “just say no” resolution for 2012 and it had to be the hardest one I have ever kept! Including giving up smoking! at times it felt I was letting everyone down, the guilt was the worst, but I can honestly say it is worth it! Now I can prioritise my time with my family coming first, and those I say yes to know that I really want to and best of all I am not so stressed and can enjoy my life so much more! So here’s to a happy No year :)

  12. 22

    Jenna H. says

    2012 was my year of saying no and let me tell you, it feels great! I was less stressed and more able to handle the twists and turns of everyday life.
    Here’s to another year of saying no and sticking our ground!

  13. 25

    Arnebya says

    Water is so good for you, Jill. You must try harder. Choose something easier to forego/fail at like Chipotle or chips or cookies. But drinking water shouldn’t be on your potential failure list (as I reach for a Pepsi and realize the last time I had water other than that contained in my lemonade was…um…never mind.)

    • 26

      Scary Mommy says

      I’m so, so, so bad about water. Days can literally pass and I’ll notice I have had none. I’m trying. But I hate it.

  14. 27

    Alison says

    Saying no is good.
    I learned to do that last year and felt like shit each time.
    But it got easier, and now, no falls off my tongue as easily as the F word.
    You won’t regret it.

  15. 29

    TheHeadacheslayer says

    Awesome Jill, just awesome!!

    And just remember–even “if” your new book isn’t the greatest for some newspaper reviewer hack–you have your family IRL and your whole Scary Mommy family here who will think it’s the best book since…..your last one ;)

    That no thing is awesome too ;) BUT I hope and pray I get to meet you on a book tour! I’m going to be more “with it” and try to connect with more friends this year–the people whom I love and adore, and are as important to me as blood family. So….make sure one of those book tours is in FL. Please :D (And if not maybe we shall have to Skype. On your terms of course)

    Love you!!

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