Starbucks’ new Unicorn Frappuccinos are ruining this barista’s life
Moms, we have bad news. According to a very upset Starbucks barista, we have to stop ordering the coffee chain’s insanely popular limited-time menu item, the Unicorn Frappuccino. Even if you’re standing in line right now about to hand over your $5 in exchange for a cup full of rainbow sparkles and 80 grams of carbs, hear him out.
The dude is definitely on the edge.
Fox 25 reports that Braden Burson is a Starbucks barista from Monument, Colorado and he’s got beef with the Unicorn Frappuccino. Like, it’s kind of unsettling how worked up he is over making a sugary beverage, but once we listened to his litany of complaints, we started to understand where he was coming from.
The video was initially shared on Twitter but has since been deleted and is now racking up views on YouTube and Facebook. Whether people agree with him or not, Braden has clearly struck a chord.
He starts off explaining that the weeks of social media hype behind the glittery beverage means that when it came out a few days ago, customers went berserk. He shouts, “Well today it came, and please don’t get it!” The beleaguered barista goes on to plead his case. “I have never made so many Frappuccinos in my entire life! My hands are completely sticky! I have unicorn crap all in my hair, on my nose.”
“I have never been so stressed out in my entire life. It has been insane!”
First of all, from an older woman to a very young man, if this is the most stressful thing you’ve ever been through, you have a great life, bro.
With that bit of snark out of the way, we do feel for the kid. Baristas have hard jobs as it is with some customers being rude and thankless, day in and day out. Making complicated drinks for fussy people has to be annoying. Even more so when the drink has several steps, as the super colorful and complex-looking Unicorn appears to.
He ends his rant begging for customers to have mercy on their baristas. “For the love of god and everything that is good, don’t get the Unicorn Frappuccino!”
Luckily for Braden, the magical drink is only available through this Sunday. Hang in there, pal. We’ll try not to order too many more this weekend.