Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
@scarymommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- The Disney Reveal - May 14, 2013
- Met My Match At Disney… - May 13, 2013
- Sunday’s Baltimore Sun - May 11, 2013
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I’m not sure how it happened. Probably the side effect of being a third child, dragged to older siblings’ after school activities with nothing to do. Or, maybe it was eating at restaurants that beg for good behavior when the stars aligned for anything but. Or, the fact that his sister has an iTouch and his brother loves the computer and he was left with zero electronics of his very own. Or, that I just can’t resist those eyes.
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Whatever the cause, we have a problem, and it’s gotten out of control: Evan seems to think my iPhone belongs to him…. and it doesn’t.
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It’s not just the fact that I’ve never liked to share my toys… his use of my iPhone is coming between our relationship. My phone’s and my relationship, I mean. There was the time he used the phone as a flotation device for his preschool characters resulting in a $200 replacement. Or the time when he deleted a dozen e-mails in my inbox that I’m pretty sure I never retrieved and looked like an asshole never responding to. Or when he threw an epic temper tantrum because I dared use it to text back and forth with a friend in the middle of a hurricane. My phone is filled with more stupid kids’ apps than grown up ones and this time, I’m serious. I’m taking back my phone.
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I’m not sure how I’m going to do this, exactly, and it’s not going to be pretty. I could go cold turkey and brace myself for days of tantrums until he gets over it, or I could gradually ween him off of his technology crack. I could try and be rational and explain to him why this has to be, or I could blame it on someone else (“The phone people made a new rule. They are for grown ups only now!”) Or, I could just delete all of the apps and play dumb. Maybe a combination of all of those.
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Times are changing, Evan. I adore you, but the phone is my toy, dammit. And I’m done sharing.
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Just don’t look at me with those eyes.
{ 77 comments… read them below or add one }
Delete all the games just in case he manages to sneak it out of your purse, password protect it and train him out of it.
Listen, we had to do it with pacifiers. That sucked. And those eyes were even bigger then.
Be strong girlfriend, you can do it.
Kiran
Kiran@Masalachica recently posted..The Show Doesn’t Always Have to Go On
The problem with password protect? I likely won’t remember it myself.
You are not alone… Thanks to mom brain I can’t remember a PW to save my life!
Turn the number pad upside down & spell something memorable … “07734″ on an upside down calculator spells “hello”. Check out 317707 sometime.
Lollie ~ The Fortuitous Housewife recently posted..Still Lost in the ADD Fog
Oh Jill, I feel your pain – this is why I call ‘em Kiddie iCrack.
Ditto Kiran’s app deletion plan. I’ve done it on several occasions. No warning, no notification – watching their stunned faces when they first discovered the mysterious demise of their precious apps was priceless! Sure, the first time was a bitch, but now I have a great weapon when the little monsters piss me off, monopolize mommy’s iToys or do something particularly evil.
In fact, it happened just last week after The Baron of Boredom absconded with my iPad, and while watching Ninjago videos and practicing his ninja moves knocked my iPad to the concrete basement floor, shattering the screen. Mama was pretty annoyed when she had to shell out $250 for a replacement! Bye-bye APPS!
Good luck. Be strong. You deserve your toys!
Lollie ~ The Fortuitous Housewife recently posted..Still Lost in the ADD Fog
You think that is bad, my 2 yr old is totally addicted to my ipad, except this will be the and LAST time that little devil will ever touch my ipad, see they last time she used it, she got pissed off at it, and head butted it so hard she cracked the screen. This isn’t the first time, this is the 3rd time I have had to replace the screen. I’m sick of this shit, this is my TOY not theirs, I want my ipad and my iphone back.
My friend implemented a “beans for screens” policy for her little guy that had the same issue. For good behavior, he earns “beans” (they used dried pinto beans) and they were put in a jar. Five beans = fifteen minutes of screen time. Seems to have worked!
Ohhhhh, I like that!
Probably a bad solution, but I recently got an upgrade and now my old phone is my toddler’s phone. Of course, she still wants my phone, because it’s mine.
Seriously, I’m trying to remember how to entertain my kids w/o the phone…lol
tracy@sellabitmum recently posted..A Hunger Games Halloween
Oh the meltdowns! My son says at least a dozen times a day “ky use your sone for Lego Dino’ or something to that effect. And he gets pissed when I actually need it. Like to make a phone call. Sometimes it’s the only way to get the kid to shut up: here, angry birds, be gone with you.
I’m due for my iphone 5 upgrade in 46 days(not that I’m counting). When I get my new toy, my darling boy is getting my old 4 with the broke ass screen(he broke) It won’t have phone service but he’ll still have his stupid alphabet apps that he’s hooked to like crack. I’m OVER prying MY phone out of his sticky little hands so that I can answer a work email. DONE!
Good luck. I too, thought this would be a perfect solution. My 2 year old has totally fucked my iPhone 4 up. I have to talk on speaker phone, the camaras broke, it never rings and only vibrates when I don’t care to talk to the person calling. I ordered my iPhone 5 two weeks ago. I’m still waiting on my salvation to come in the mail. I checked the website today and it says my precious phone is backordered. 14-21 more days, possibly more. 21 more days without a proper phone/fake texting machine. I’m not sure we can make it. I’m losing patience and I think the evil spawn is cutting another tooth…
My son broke my first smartphone.
So we gave him an iPad. #badmom
Alison recently posted..THE Big News
LOL. Suckers!
Oh I feel this pain and refuse to admit its been caused by my laziness! Right now I am two finger typing on my iPad because my computer has a virus and the children killed my back up!
SoberJulie recently posted..Happy Halloween! w/Linky
Even though you can’t see his eyes in this pic (just his lashes) you can tell he has “those eyes”. Stay strong. In the voice of Rob Schneider’s character in Waterboy “You can do iiiiit!!”
They get me every time, dammit.
Our solution is to buy my 8yo son an iPod. Not the right solution, I know. But everyone is happy and I get to delete Stick Stunt Biker, Fruit Ninja, 5 different Angry Birds, Cut the Rope, Temple Run and Where’s My Perry. Although, a few of those may stay…..
OMG, I can’t stand stick stunt biker, fruit ninja is ok, but that biker one totally pisses me off, I make the kids either leave the room, or turn the volume all the way down.
I know this may be “bad parenting”,but get a kurio or nabi2(not the original nabi). Especially great for people who have more than 1 kid b/c they can have their thing and you can have yours.And on the Kurio you can set time limits and it shuts off when the time is up… They’re linked to the android store and look just as good as kindle fire. Very awesome!
Perhaps he needs a Leapster explorer? I’m not sure how old he is… I am pretty sure it’s kind of like the iphone. I know you can download apps for it and I think it’s a touch screen.
I have a Smartphone but I don’t really have any cool kid friendly apps on it other than the wallpaper that came with it that you can touch and it responds. So I guess I’m fortunate that it hasn’t fallen into the wrong hands, just into the toilet.
And yes, I can’t resist my four year olds’ eyes either… I’m thinking they’re a secret weapon.
The Sadder But Wiser Girl recently posted..The Job Search: How It’s Kind of Like Dating
He has a Leapster, but suddenly it’s not cool enough. Because it’s not mine.
You could just get him an iPod touch and put the kid apps on that. It will cost you but to me it beats losing my phone or having to listen to the temper tantrums.
Right on! I’m going to follow suit. This phone is mine!
Old School/New School Mom recently posted..Grateful
Good luck! This is such an issue for soooo many parents these days. Personally… if it was in the budget I would replace it with a new electronic for him. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I didn’t want to share my phone with my toddler.
My sister upgraded her phone and let her son have the old one with all his learning apps already installed, though a few weeks later he threw her new iPad at her and cracked the screen because she told him he couldn’t touch it. (0.o) he’s 2 otherwise there would be serious consequences.
Leap pad, leapster, tablet, ipod, ipad, gameboy, 15 year old laptop… ‘eh whatever works. Sounds like everyone else has their electronic fix, so he needs his too. :)
Heather Roberts recently posted..Sweeps: Enter to win a $2500 Amazon Gift Card
Mine think my phone is theirs too. I keep swearing they won’t use it again and then something happens and I need a moment’s peace so I give in.
Shell recently posted..Things They Can’t Say: The Mommyhood
That’s easy, give ds your iPhone (airplane mode of course) and upgrade your phone to the new….voila lol. My phone now has NO kids games, no movies, and they are not allowed to play with it!
See, mine will happily entertain himself with the camera and the results are cute. Maybe his own really is the solution.
Hahahhaaa!
See, I don’t have a smart phone. I know.. *GASP*
I don’t.
However, the kid’s father does and so he’s inundated with various games and whatnot. I don’t mind loading a few games on my kindle, but yeah…. still mine.
You have fun with the weaning. *grin*
Nintedo DS for Christmas!
I just have a boring, dumb phone, so no problem there! But all hell breaks lose if my almost 2 yr old sees my Kindle Fire! He thinks it is his and it drives me crazy…so I have stopped using it in front of him. Problem solved. At least the apps are educational, right?!? :)
I have the same problem! I put a password on my phone and am VERY stingy now about when I hand it over. I wish there was a way to lock everything except one page that has all the game apps or something. Maybe you can look into that for us :)
aimee @ smilingmama recently posted..Making a new friend
There are a bunch of apps out there that provide a safe place to put all the kid’s apps. Most of them are add-free and if you get a good one, you can lock it so they can’t exit the program without a code so they aren’t able to play with anything else.
Mine ask for my phone as soon as walk in the door after work, sometimes even before I walk inside. No hugs or kisses, just want the phone. Then they get mad if I say no and throw a fit. Told them yesterday they’re cut off for a week. We’ll see how long I can stick to that.
My kid has 4 old smart phones from grandparents, me, my husband, etc. She still wants our smartphones. She can even unlock them and find her own games and she’s only 2 1/2. I just hope that with all this early technology she can help me with this stuff when I’m old :)
I don’t have a touch screen, my 3yo can’t figure out the blackberry trackball…
However, as soon as we walk into Nanas house he is rummaging through her school bag for her iPad. She wants to buy him his own.
They have those kid-type tablets. Think he would go for one of those? Or a Kindle DX or something?
Stephanie recently posted..Trick or Treat: A Night of Firsts
Probably. And he does have a birthday coming up…
LOL I took back my phone. I have 2 kids ages 9 & 11, & 9 grandkids all under 8.
I deleted every kid game off of my phone. I was sick and tired of never being able to find my phone. I was tired of my photo album being full of 1000 pictures of blurry Dora the Explorer etc. Also, one 5 year old grandson took pictures of himself peeing…Yeah, I could go to jail for that picture!!
I’m tired of toddlers throwing a fit when I won’t just hand over MY phone.
Make him go cold turkey. It’s better in the long run. :-)
I have a few the kids took that I could totally go to jail for, too. Yikes.
Just the other day, I found like 10 pics of my 2 yr old butt naked and spread eagle, I was like holy shit, and I immediately deleted them, along with the other 526 photos they had taken that day.
Wow, now I’m really glad I don’t do smartphones–I refuse to pay for a data plan when I’m already paying for internet in the house.
But I have to say, anyone who gives a piece of fragile technology to a 2 year deserves a cracked screen. Would you give a 2 year old your favorite antique doll with a ceramic head to play with. No.
I’m not anti-tech, not for a kid old enough to be gentle. I got an ipad this year and I’m fine letting my 5 year old (and 13 year old) share it with me. It’s a toy. An expensive toy, but I only need it occasionally for work when I take notes on it at meetings.
I’m thinking about getting my 6 yr old a refurbished iPod touch for Xmas. For this reason. Get your sticky ass fingers off my phone!
Oh this Christmas I went totally techie. My 14 yr old got her own laptop, 2 ipod touches (brand new refurbs from ebay) for my 13 and 10 yr old sons, and 2 HKC, 1 pink and 1 purple tablets (from walmart $99.00 each) for my 8 and 6 yr old girls. The 5, 3, and 2 yr olds are just gonna have, are going to have to share or be really nice to me and maybe I’ll let them use my iphone.
I just got a new iphone, and I resolve I will not let my kids get their grimy hands on it. We can do this, right?!?!
Mamarific recently posted..The Notorious Wild Boy Grew Up, and I Think He Took Me With Him
YES!!!! (I think)
I started letting mine play with it under those same conditions. I told myself it would be “just this one time.” Now it is every time we go somewhere, and the worst part is that they fight over it. My plan? Put all the kiddie apps on David’s phone and then they can play with his.
Jennifer recently posted..Around the Clock
I like the way you think.
Haha, that’s totally what I did: got a Blackberry (great for texting, lousy for apps) and neither kid ever wants to touch my phone. Hubby has an iPhone, it practically belongs to the kids, has, oh, I dunno, 16 pages of kids apps on it?
Totally go for one that the kids won’t actually want, it’s so much easier!
My 8yo twins have figured out the password to my iPhone. And they never forget it. They may forget to bring their lunch bags home. They may forget to flush the toilet.
But they never forget my iPhone password. I know, because I sometimes do. And then they tell me what it is.
Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) recently posted..Halloween Fun at Huff Po
That’s hilarious. And would totally happen here.
Our son has hijacked our iPhones AND our iPad but there are benefits. He showed me how to keep the caps on when texting by hitting the arrow key twice. And he’s 4.
Kim at Not My Mom’s Blog recently posted..In search of a new preschool
I swear, Evan knows how to navigate the phone better than I do. Totally scary.
My toddler could not care less for my phone. It has zero games in it. Besides, mommy is an android developer and has a kindle fire, a nook, nexus 7 tablet and I think, four more smartphones just laying here and there. Oh, did I mentioned the iphone I own to cross reference applications?
And when I was pregnant I really wanted to keep my future kid away from the tv. Well, I did that alright, who cares about the TV when there is smartphone treasure island in the house?
If it is of any use to you, I have linked the smartphone time to the meals (after meal) to minimize exposure.
Good luck with getting that phone back lady! Don’t even have to see the eyes, he had me at the lashes!
Get him to wear dark sunglasses all the time. Then those eyes won’t tempt you.
Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes recently posted..Wordfull wednesday: Happy Halloween!
When I had my first book published, my parents bought me an iPad as a congratulatory present. My kids, despite my “rules” to the contrary (and probably due to my weak willpower) put more games on it and used it more than I did. My youngest is getting an iTouch in about a week (after saving up for it). I am counting the days until I can delete every one of her games!
I’m anxious to hear how you reclaim your phone, because that might teach me how I can reclaim my computer!
Lynn Kellan recently posted..Don’t yell this on a college campus.
Stay strong! I am sure in a couple of years he will have convinced you to get him on of his own…..
I don’t have this problem because I taught the kids that dad’s phone is strictly for business and reminded them that they can always use mom’s phone ‘cuz she doesn’t really need hers for much.
Hee hee, worked out pretty well for me. ;)
Jack recently posted..Blogging Every Day Is Easy- The Class Of ’69 Speaks
Too funny. I charge a renting fee for my boys to have my phone, but they’re ten!
Tracy Larson recently posted..It’s Never Too Early or Too Late to Follow Your Dreams
This is a problem in my home too. It all started when I started using it as a means to keep my kids quiet and entertained, especially at restaurants. Now it has turned into one big fight-fest over who is taking too long and whose turn it is next, etc. I wish I had the financial means to buy a tablet for each kid like some parents do. But come to think of it, even then, mine would find a way to argue over whose was shinier or something.
Debbie – Wrinkled Mommy recently posted..Dinner Time – Illustrated
GOOD LUCK! I’m always trying to pry my phone from my kids. That’s a part of the reason I got the lifeproof case. If my two year old drops it (on the floor or water) it will be okay. However, this does make them believe that all phones are indestructible… which is perhaps a bad lesson to teach!
Marta recently posted..My Family Will Vote No
LOL. I literally JUST posted about my toddler usurping my iphone, and then come over here and read your post. It’s an epidemic!
shate98 recently posted..November 5, 2012 ~ Why I bought an iphone
There needs to be a self-detonate app. That’ll teach ‘em.
Erin I’m Gonna Kill Him recently posted..The Stripper
For a long time I managed to convince my kids that only daddy’s phone could play games. Then one day I got desperate while waiting at the pediatricians office. I downloaded an app, now mommy’s phone is fair game too. As is the iPad, which is seems that no adult is allowed to touch until after bedtime. I’d reclaim the devices for adult-kind, but then I’d need to find another way to amuse the kids.
Observacious recently posted..List 17: A Toddler’s Guide to Co-Sleeping
I thought loading cartoons to my iPad was okay. Now it’s his and I had to buy myself a new one. New mom obviously.
Ohhh yeah. So there. We have every thing ever made by LeapFrog, plus an iPod Touch, and an old iPhone, both loaded with kids apps. (I know, you don’t need to tell me. Excess.) And yet NONE of these are quite as much fun as Mommy’s phone or Daddy’s iPad! We’ve had to implement a ban on ‘electronics’ during the week. Friday afternoons my son (5) comes running out of daycare saying “We get to have electronics tonight!!” — at least it’s down to just battling on the weekends.
Also… SO GLAD we locked down the iPad, as my son came to me one day asking me to put in the password. “Why?” “Um, no reason…” Turns out he was trying to buy $900 worth of ‘gems’ in some game. Seriously.
Sarah recently posted..An Open Letter to Coaches / Teachers / Adult Mentors…
Do it like a bandaid. Tear it away all at once, haha! When our kids look at us with those sweet little eyes it is hard not to give them whatever they want. I hope my kids don’t read this!
On second thought maybe tear it away on little bit at a time, that’s how I take off my bandaids. Yeah, that would be kinder.
omg i can so relate to this. and it is def the 3rd child syndrome. i did the same thing just to have a few minutes of peace in the car, the grocery store, while talking on the phone, well, anytime i guess. my adorable third child threw two of my phones into fountains…oh so fun. i finally had to hijack my phone back, but he’s ten now, and he still takes my phone from time to time so he and his brother can face time while they play Minecraft together! it never ends. thank you scary mommy for another post that made me laugh. you are the best!
Hahaha I actually posted on sm about this a few months back to make sure I wasn’t jut being an ass not wanting my kids to play with mine. SO thought I should share but I felt that “it’s MINE!” And I didn’t want to share. Maybe get him an iPod touch and he can get all those games on there.
Seems you have forgotten who the parent is. It’s simple, mobile phones are too dangerous for children especially young ones. They should not be able to use them. Even when there not talking to someone they put out bad radiation. Increasing the risk of cancers. As parents you should Just say No. Get them something they can use that’s kid friendly.
I have managed to set fairly strict rules regarding when my 2 use my iphone and have stuck to them so far…mainly it’s allowed when we are travelling on the bus or streetcar. I fear the 7ish hour ‘plane journey I have coming up though with just 1 phone. Refereeing the turn-taking on a 20 minute bus journey is one thing, doing the same over hours does not seem like it will be fun.
Madeleine recently posted..Why I think Christmas in November is fine
Madeleine maybe you could buy a small MP3 player to put some music on for the journey. Perhaps having a few hours of music would help bridge the gap between turns with the phone. Depending on how old your kids are…
I think I might try to avoid the ‘phone altogether on the flight, actually and concentrate on colouring books and reading stories and things.
Madeleine recently posted..Why I think Christmas in November is fine