10 Things Never To Say To Someone Carrying Twins

116 Comments

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Being pregnant with twins is a fantastic thing. You get two babies to love, two babies to squeeze, and pants that kind of fit when everything’s over. My twins have been a great gift to our household. They’re adorable, smart, and only try to burn the house down once a week. It used to be a daily thing, but me and the husband put our collective foot down and insisted that fires are not only dangerous, but that our curtains look like old dishtowels already, so could they please stop?

At any rate, while our house looks a little like where garage sale items go to die, my pregnancy with the twins was beautiful. The only thing that always got me was the things people tended to say to me, in an effort to make things extremely awkward.

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Here, I’ve compiled some of my absolute favorites:

1. “Are you having twins?”

2. “I was talking to Bob in accounting. You know Bob? Well, we agreed you’re having twins because no one could be that big.”

3. “Do they have the same father?”

4. “The company elevator’s out. Did you ride it this morning?

5. “I can tell you’re having trouble finding things that fit. Is that a tent from Bass Pro Shop?”

6. “Here’s a bag of Skittles. You’re probably hungry all the time.”

7. “My sister had twins. She died of sleep deprivation. We really miss her.”

8. “I just know I couldn’t afford it, but I’m sure you guys will be fine. I saw Ramen went on sale again.”

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9. “My mom had twins. She cries at really awkward times.”

10. “I’m a twin. This is how my mom always tells my birth story…. ”

Of course, the safest thing to say to a pregnant woman is absolutely nothing. Unless you have chocolate. Chocolate absolves a multitude of sins.

And afterwards, don’t try to touch the belly. That’s a great way to lose a hand.

Comments

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  1. 1

    My Half Assed Life says

    So it’s kind of like the awkward of a woman pregnant with one – times ten?

    I had actually hoped to have twins – my grandfather was a twin and I thought it would be pretty nice to only go through diapers and potty training once. Plus – two kids interested in the same things at the same time seemed a lot easier for things like amusement parks and vacations. It didn’t happen though. Maybe for my cousin who is expecting this year.

    I hated when people felt the need to fondle my belly. Absolutely freaking hated it.

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    • 2

      zinkemom says

      I have 8 year old twins. I am able now to look back and think about how easy I had it compared to my friends that have kids 2-3 years apart. Diapers only lasted 3 years. Terrible two’s only lasted 2 years. I didn’t have to hoard baby clothes, toys, and furniture for the next kid. As soon as we were done with stuff I was able to sell or donate it and move onto the next stage.

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    • 3

      Brandy says

      That’s funny…two kids interested in the same things at the same time. My boys are 16 months old and they try on a daily basis to kill each other. When they aren’t going at it, they are trying to annoy the hell out of their big sister. I can’t imagine them ever on the same page…EVER! It sounds like a wonderful dream place that I can only imagine…where everyone gets along and we spend a peaceful vacation as a family. One can dream…

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    • 4

      Jessica Cobb (@DomesticPirate) says

      I’d hoped for twins with my first and second pregnancies, was terrified of having them my third, and now that we’re on our fourth (and last) I wish I could have had the experience. C’est la vie.

      And the belly fondle is never okay. Especially if it’s accompanied by a fervent religious prayer…

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    • 5

      Paige Kellerman says

      The belly fondle is, indeed, a dangerous area to tread. Most people I met while pregnant still have most of their fingers though. So you could say I was lenient.

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  2. 7

    Cynthia says

    Both of the times I has twins I always heard, “you look like you swallowed a beach ball!” That didn’t help! The fun comments during pregnancy only got worse after the babies were born. Some people just don’t think.

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      • 9

        zinkemom says

        My twins are boy/girl and look nothing alike. Even after the kids point out to people that they have the same birthday and Sis is two minutes older than Brother people still ask “Are they twins?” DUH

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        • 10

          Brandy says

          I have the boys, age 16 months and their sister, age 29 months. We have a triple stroller and I always get “are they triplets?” Ummm…she is a foot taller than the boys! What the hell do you think? Duh!

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          • 11

            Amanda says

            My girls are two years apart, and I STILL get the, “Are they twins?” question! If the youngest’s twin had survived, I’m sure I’d be getting the exact same question.

            To be fair, she’s rather tall for a four-year-old, but there’s still a half a foot difference in their height.

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          • 12

            tara says

            I have a 5yo 4yo and 3yo boys and I get asked if they are triplets … All.the.friggin.time. hello ppl stop and think about that for just one second pls.

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    • 14

      Paige Kellerman says

      I only got the beach ball comment one or two times. This was one or two times too many, Cynthia. Besides, who eats beach balls anymore? It’s so passe’.

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  3. 18

    Stacy says

    I never had twins but was at the boardwalk when 7mo preg with #2 and a grandmother who was there with her 4 grandchildren and either her daughter or DIL asked me if I was having twins. When I said no she looked shocked and said “are you sure”?

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  4. 27

    Sarah says

    I have 5 month old twin girls and it really only got bad for me when I was near the end of my “twin pregnancy” but far off from my actual due date. People would ask and I’d have to tell them, then they’d look at my quizzically and then I’d have to explain I was having twins.

    I also find it worse now that they’re here. Everyone stares in wonder at them and tells me it must be such a blessing. Yeah, I’d think that too except that when one is being fed and the other is screaming I want to rip my hair out.

    The other day someone actually asked me if they were the same age. I just wonder about people sometimes…

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    • 28

      Paige Kellerman says

      Oh, girl, the five month stage was truly difficult. They can’t really sit up, feed themselves, or sing show tunes to keep you entertained.

      I used to cry when they were crying because I could only feed one at a time. We made a really adorable pack of people crying at each other.

      Buy a lot of beer, push through it, and keep your head up. They get bigger, start doing things for themselves, and telling you what they think …scratch that last one. Be thankful they can’t talk yet. You’re doing a great job. Hang in there…:)

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  5. 29

    Kelly @ In the Mom Light Blog says

    I love you Paige. I didn’t have twins, but apparently was unreasonably fat because I got asked it all the time. One woman insisted that I must be eating too much because I was way too big. FML…

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    • 30

      Andrea says

      I’m 37 weeks now, and I get asked all the time too, with the raised eyebrow and followup, “You’re sure about that?”, and then the “Wow, you’re huge”. Really?!? PFO! No belly molesters, thankfully, ’cause someone would be losing a hand.

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      • 31

        Paige Kellerman says

        You know, Andrea, I’d never believe people would have it in them to just come right out and say, “You’re huge.” But, verbal diarrhea is a real thing. And, unfortunately, some people chronic cases.

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