The Top 10 Things Moms Do At Target


10. Circle the lot 4 times looking for a better parking spot.
Feel misplaced sense of pride when finding a spot 2 spaces closer than the one you spied when you arrived 12 minutes ago.

9. Upon entrance, make a beeline directly to the in-store Starbucks. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Instead, *spend* $200 buying a tall latte for yourself and a milk box and bag of Cheddar Bunnies for the kidlette.

8. Head to clothing section. Consider a cute peplum top in slimming black, while kid complains in cart about how long it’s taking to get to the toy section. Put peplum top into cart and hope it achieves its purpose in your wardrobe: to stylishly camouflage belly flab.

7. Set latte down in cart while contemplating new workout gear that will be worn for sitting on the couch. Sigh when kid spills latte with leg. Search for paper towels to no avail. ‘Mop’ up latte with Old Navy receipt found in handbag.

6. Arrive at toy section. Child wants 3 new Hot Wheels trucks. Enter into lengthy in-aisle discussion with child about how they need to appreciate the things they have and enjoy what they already own. Revel in glory from respected glances via other Hot Wheels Aisle Moms clearly struggling with same issue. Settle on one new truck for child, feel accomplished and await Good Mom Award or sash of some stripe.

5. Feel very frugal buying dog food on sale, even though it’s only $.15 cheaper than normal. Put another bag into cart. Contemplate emailing TLC to be featured on Extreme Couponers because obviously this is talent, people.

4. Find food section. Add the following: fruit chews, potato chips, Cheez-its, granola bars, peanut butter, frozen waffles, giant bag of mandarin oranges. Every. Time.

3. Browse housewares section for no apparent reason. Realize you really need an owl candle. And a citrus scented home fragrance diffuser. And that white lacquered tray.

2. Look at contents of cart. Experience momentary guilt about home décor purchases. Remove peplum shirt and set next to stackable crates. Consider buying a stackable crate.

1. Check out at the register. Feel simultaneously proud and horrified that you’re spending $148. Realize your kid is still holding the Hot Wheels truck. Make that $152.


The Scary Mommy Community is built on support. If your comment doesn't add to the conversation in a positive or constructive way, please rethink submitting it. Basically? Don't be a dick, please.

  1. 1

    rose says

    hahaha, so me, except i wouldnt spend $150 without the help of coupons, sale, clearence, and guilt. The latte was spot on, i always wish i hadnt got the tall one…feel like this was written about me. Thanks for the laugh!

    Show Replies
    • 3

      Dynamom says

      Hah! I know. When my son was a toddler I used to refer to Costco as ‘the book store’ because he always got to choose a book and he was always happy to come. Ohhh the things we dooooo…

      Show Replies
      • 4

        nancycccslp says

        Just remember the old saying; “The first kid, you take to Gymboree, Kindermusic and TumbleTots. The second kid, you take to Gymboree. The third kid, you take to food shopping.”

        Show Replies
  2. 5

    Mary says

    LOL! Nice…
    I must be the only person on the planet who doesn’t shop at Target.
    Of course, I hate shopping in general, with or without kids… Not sure that even lets me qualify as a girl…

    This was spot-on though. Shopping with one child… When #2 came along, it was a totally different story. lol It was like #1s inner demons were unleashed…
    AHA that’s where my walmart addiction started- it was those 2am forays that did it! It was the only time I could get away without kids.

    HA this blog is like therapy. Pretty sure I just had a breakthrough.

    Show Replies
  3. 6

    bubba says

    This is so us! We go to Target on Sunday mornings for FUN during the winter months with our little rugrats and this is totally what happens EVERY Sunday!

    Show Replies
  4. 7

    LisaL says

    Lol very funny. Not so true for myself though. I don’t drink Starbucks and don’t bother w/ the clothes. I do circle around the baby sections a few times looking for that one clearance item that I must’ve certainly missed before. We don’t buy food from Target, and don’t have to worry about the toy section yet since our kid is still a toddler :P We still always manage to spend at least $50 though. not sure how the heck that always happens o_O

    Show Replies
  5. 19

    Sabrina Fish says

    I have done most of these in the past, but now I avoid superstores. I spend so much less at a dedicated grocer. Super Target is my checkbook’s enemy.

    Show Replies
  6. 21

    Laurie says

    I work at Target so I get an additional 10% off. Yay! That, and I rarely have to go with my daughter. Like I need help putting MORE stuff in my cart! Oh, and thanks for those $148 purchases. I’m pretty sure it’s why I still have a job :)

    Show Replies
  7. 22 says

    Lovely and oh so true. I’m a big Target fan-Walmart with a makeover twice removed. Great post. And love your logo my the way. You don’t even need the words and you’d know what it means.
    newbie blogger and Target shopper (who admittedly visits Walmart now and again)

    Show Replies
  8. 24

    SCB says

    I earn my stay at home status by trimming the bills, so when i go to Target I spend most of the time wishing I’d opted for Walmart or Aldi instead because it’s a rare day when Target has the best deal on anything, although it’s prettier. I think the kids have eaten at a store snack bar maybe four times in their lives, and they are in middle school now. I don’t drink coffee, so no temptation from Starbucks. I’m so mean we hand them a water bottle when they say they’re thirsty, and it’s from our car, not a store. I spent a lot more money at Target when I worked full time, but I was no happier then than now, because pinching pennies is still about a million times more entertaining than weekly Monday meetings and semi-annual conferences.

    Show Replies
    • 25

      Amberiella says

      You can actually get a lot of good deals at Target if you use Cartwheel and the mobile coupons, and you can apply both the Cartwheel deals and mobile coupons to the same items. They regularly have deals like $10 off of $50 worth of food, $15 off of UP&UP products, $10 gift card on toilet paper, etc. I highly recommend it.

      Show Replies
  9. 28

    Cindy Blankenship says

    After #10 I go straight to the end cap clearance shelves and then leave unless i am looking for something in particular. The clothes selection is so limited it has always been a waste of time for me.

    Show Replies

Load More Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>