The Best Motherhood E-Cards

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You're making it difficult for me to be the parent I always imagined I would be.1329088301856_3978618

Oh, it's the weekend! Oh...oh. (sob)

Motherhood: When changing from plaid flannel pj pants into black yoga pants qualifies as "getting dressed"

I am your mother. Your argument is invalid.

Home is where you can say anything you want because nobody listens to you anyway.

If you would just listen and do something the first time I asked, Mommy wouldn't have to lose her shit.

Let's drive Mom bat-shit crazy. That way, she'll let us watch TV just to get a moment's peace.

All these moms are on Pinterest making their own soap and reindeer-shaped treats and I'm all like "I took a shower and kept the kids alive."

You know you're a mom when going shopping at Target by yourself feels like a vacation and going on a family vacation feels like work.

No, this isn't an inconvenient time. It always sounds like my kids are killing a cat in my house.

Someday, when you clean all the toilets you can stay up late and eat the secret ice cream, too.

First child eats dirt parent calls doctor. Second child eats dirt parent cleans out mouth. Third child eats dirt parent wonders if she really needs to feed him lunch.

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