Motherhood: The Big Fat F You


I lost it this morning.  Really lost it.

After the kids were all dressed for school, breakfast eaten, teeth brushed, backpacks packed, I turned on the TV.  I have a rule that the kids can only watch certain channels.  There is so much crap on TV – shows geared towards teens and preteens, shows that showcase kids calling other people “idiot” and “stupid” and generally behaving obnoxiously – and in all seriousness, I have a hard enough time keeping my kids under control without exposing them to those kinds of influences and role models.  So the rule is, Mom sets the channel, and you don’t change it without permission.  Annabelle never, ever, ever sticks to this rule.  The moment I walk out of the room, she’s got the remote in her hand, channel-surfing, looking for some obnoxious show featuring smart-ass teenagers.  It happened this morning.  Within thirty seconds of my turning the TV on to Nick Jr. – really for Finn – Annabelle is changing the channel.  “Leave the TV alone, Annabelle,” I said.  I left the room.  A few minutes later, on my way to the kitchen, I saw her there, remote in hand, channel surfing again.  And I lost it.

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Screaming and yelling ensued.  Swearing.  “I’VE TOLD YOU A THOUSAND TIMES TO LEAVE THE TV ALONE!!” I shouted.  “GO TO YOUR ROOM!  GO SIT IN YOUR ROOM UNTIL IT’S TIME TO LEAVE FOR SCHOOL.  NOW!!!”  She just stood there staring at me, not moving a muscle.  “GO!!”  I yelled.  All the kids froze in their tracks while I chased – literally chased – Annabelle into her room.  She beat me by a half a second and locked the door against me.  Locked the door!  “I’m going to kill her!”  I muttered.  “MOM!  Are you really going to kill Annabelle?  Did you really just say that?!”  Daisy shrieked.  “OPEN THIS GODDAMN DOOR!”  I yelled.  Annabelle unlocked the door.  “Don’t you ever lock the door against me again!  Do you hear me?!” I yelled at her.

Michael’s trying to calm me.  “Leave me alone!”  I yelled at him.  “I do EVERYTHING for you people – including YOU! – and you all treat me like shit!  Every last one of you!”

I know.  All this over an eight-year old changing the channel on the TV.  But really, of course it’s not just about that.  That was just the straw that broke the camel’s back this morning.  It was my eight-year old changing the channel after I told her not to – again.  It was dealing with Finn tantruming his way through breakfast – again.  It was Joey throwing a dramatic tantrum and copping a major attitude last night when I said no, he could not have an Instagram account (he’s ten, for crying out loud!).  It’s the bickering and tattling all the time.  It’s the “I want, I want, I want” all the time, and the lack of willingness to do much of anything I ask.  Ask somebody to set the table for dinner?  Tell them to clean up their room?  Oh myGOD!  You would think I’m asking them to pull their own fingernails out!  It’s my husband being gone so much of the time and me feeling utterly alone, like I’m dealing with all of this single handedly.

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I’m not excusing my losing it this morning.  I’m ashamed.  I wish I held it together better, I really, really do.  And lest I start to sound like my own mother who seemed to believe that her kids were responsible for her happiness/unhappiness but she, the adult, was not responsible for theirs, let me just say that I know kids are kids, they don’t actually mean anything personal by their behavior – I know that, I really do.

Sometimes motherhood just feels like a big, fat Fuck You, though.  This is why people say that motherhood is a hard job.  Not because it’s especially intellectually challenging or physically demanding – I mean it is those things, but there are certainly other pursuits that require for far more intellectual and/or physical output than motherhood.  Not because it requires a great deal of bravery – of course, it does call for that, too, but certainly not as much as being a soldier or a police officer, for instance.  No, it’s not those things.  It’s because it’s so fucking emotionally taxing.  It’s because it’s so incredibly thankless so much of the time.  It’s because I feel like I’ve sacrificed so much of myself for them, and they don’t appreciate it.  It’s because I do and do and do for them, constantly, and it often seems like all I get in return is complaining that it’s not enough – or just outright ignored.  I’m not looking for accolades or awards or fanfare.  I’m not even looking for “thank you.”  It would just be nice to get a little cooperation.  A little respect for the rules – rules which aren’t onerous or unreasonable for crap’s sake!

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And, you know, it’s hard to admit these things.  Everyone wants to talk about how great motherhood is, how fulfilling it is.  Sometimes it is.  And often, it’s not.  I’m not even sure why I’m writing about it this morning – opening myself up to criticism and judgment, exposing the flaws in the pretty picture.  I don’t want to feel alone, I guess.

After I got back from dropping the kids off at school this morning, I discovered that Annabelle had left her lunch at home.  Who do you think packed the baby and Finn back into the truck to drive her lunch to school?

Because that’s what moms do.

Related post: To the Unwashed Masses of Mothers

About the writer

In addition to Scary Mommy, Lisa's writing has appeared on Mamalode, Mamapedia, and Literary Mama.  She is raising seven kids with her husband in Southern California, and blogs at Life As I Know It.

From Around the Web


Teresa B. 17 hours ago

I have to agree with Kelly. I do sympathize with the author for getting to her wits end and feeling like you are surrounded by a bunch of vampires that take, take, take. But I strongly disagree with the author’s statement “Because that’s what moms do.” No—mom’s teach responsibility. And you not going to teach them responsibility by running yourself doing things for them they need to learn to remember. A kid who knows his mom will drop what she’s doing to bring his soccer uniform to school isn’t going to worry about it. Why should he?

kelly reagen 1 day ago

When I read at the end that she took her daughter’s forgotten lunch to the school, it made perfect sense that her kids do not appreciate what she does for them. Just like most of us do not appreciate the sun or the fact that we can walk. Why? Because it’s there every day. Only when we get sick for a week do we appreciate how great it feels to be healthy. Human nature.
If you’ve told your kid “a thousand times” to not do something and they are still doing it, there’s a problem. It shouldn’t reach the breaking point.

Ebony 3 weeks ago

This just popped up in my Facebook memories from someone sharing bit with me a year ago. I applauded this then and again today. Motherhood is draining at best. We love our children and sacrifice so much for their well-being and often times its as if you are doing things to ruin their lives. I was recently told by my 16 year old that I just like making things difficult. As if I have nothing better to do. Bless you Lisa. I hope this past year has shown you many bright moments and a little cooperation.

Gina 3 weeks ago

If anyone criticizes you for this then they either do not have kids or are lying to themselves. I so appreciate the honesty, it makes me feel less crazy to know that there are others who think the way I do. Thanks so much for the bravery!

MommaBear 3 weeks ago

Okay so I know this article is like a million years old, and clearly that photo is a staged stock photo. And I am by no means an advocate for spanking. But every time this shows up off to the side of an article I’m reading, I just want to fucking smack this little boy upside his head!!!

Exactly 1 month ago

Right there with you–beautiful job articulating that! Wish more moms were this honest.

Jackie 1 month ago

This totally sums up how it’s been here. Every single word! Good to know it’s “normal” and I’m far from alone in it!

Hillary 1 month ago

I know how you feel. Too well! Then I started reading about Conscious Discipline, and it’s been a game-changer. Now I only scream and chase the kids once or twice a week. :)

Evelyn 4 months ago

This is the most relatable thing I’ve read today! And that’s that my son is 1 year 1/2, seriously so much respect to you moms with more than one kid.

Mary 4 months ago

Mine would be dead….and naked….and hungry.

Ashley 4 months ago

You hit the nail right on the head! Motherhood is DAMN HARD! Sometimes I wonder how I’m not in a straight jacket in the looney bin because I feel like I’m going crazy I’ve never been so eager for bedtime! Especially during the summer when I have to instigate nap time in order to recover my zapped energy n sanity I think a trip to the looney bin would be a welcomed vacation actually:D kuddos to you you’re a brave wonderful woman we all vent we need to or I believe we’d all spontaneously combust from anxiety and the stress motherhood so happily provides!

DaniK 4 months ago

Oh hell!! Let me start by saying my two boys are 23 and 20, and my three stepsons are 22, 19, and 14. Yes, 5 boys…and me…the only girl. So to say I completely understand the meltdown is an understatement. Your words brought back so many memories of feeling used and abused without so much as a “thanks”. However, I will tell you now…now is when the thanks begin. I never expected it to be as good as this! I have 5 absolutely awesome sons (along with some equally awesome daughters in law/girlfriends which means I’m finally not the only girl!)! In fact, now I’m so grateful for all the awesomeness that sometimes I feel like I haven’t done anything to deserve this. But, your words brought it back. The thank yous come…just a little later and sometimes much better than you could have imagined. Keep having the occasional meltdown though…it keeps everyone on their toes! 😉

Brittany 4 months ago

I totally get you. Thank you for this! I’m glad I’m not alone either.

Mathile 4 months ago

Please moms/dads, don’t beat yourselves up over a meltdown and/or swearing at your kids. I distinctly remember the day my dad told me that I was “acting like a little spoiled bitch”. I was 8 and I WAS acting like a little spoiled bitch. I crawled into the back of the blazer and cried. I didn’t cry because of what he called me, I cried because he was right and I felt terrible for what I had done to make him say those things. I had a whole new respect for how my actions affected my relationships with people. It may not have been the best way to teach a lesson but it was one that I have never forgotten.

Shelby 4 months ago

I don’t typically follow blogs. I find that I have little time to do so. But I have to say…this one is worth making time for. Seeing so many moms that share the same ups and downs that I do is encouraging. I have exploded at my kids many times. I always feel guilty afterward. I should have been more patient, I should have remembered that I knew what I was getting into and I should be more understanding. The fact is, we are all human and we all have bad days…and let’s face it, exhaustion does not help. lol. I just wanted to say a sincere Thank You to all of the moms out there that remind me I am not alone with all of the crap that comes with being a mom.

Alyssa 4 months ago

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. And when I’ve told the kids to do something for the 10th time in 10 minutes because they’ve gotten off track–also for the 10th time in 10 minutes–and start getting testy, hubby tells me to calm down. Because that helps (said no one seriously, ever). Kids need to know you’re a person, and that you get frustrated when you’re ignored, and that damn it, if rules aren’t FOLLOWED, shit will hit the fan. Otherwise they walk on you and don’t even realize it’s wrong.

Maggie Razzi 4 months ago

Maggie Razzi here, Mother of one beautifully talented and one of the finest young man I’ve ever been blessed to know, never mind had the privilege to raise! And yet , as the young adult, but theoretically still a child, my only child, my son.
And yes, I was a straight up single parent. And yes, how bout some kudos for that.. hard as hell as it was( looking back..phew)! I didn’t know anything else. I have had my grrrr moments, butt taps, and self screaming bouts! And I had that ” kid”, who was given the diagnoses of having a “problematic , oppositional defiant behavior disorder”lol! And, today I do just that..laugh out loud! Because of all the nonstepford children in the world, entitled or poor like we were but he had no idea since I devoted my entire life day to day in the art of making my”blessed one” happy, and the king of the castle! And, man till today that Prince can push it…push it good. And I have had times where I had lost it! Dag! He was a treat! Lmbo! And if I did spank his beded butt..he would laugh at me, with little squinty eyes, that said ” gaw head! Ill get u bitch! And I was just stilted every time.. And, I could’ve beaten him to pieces but of course THANK goodness for those few psychology courses I managed to get in, yes, BEFORE the birth of the second coming of the beautifully disguised SATAN CHILD ;)!
Looking back in retrospect..going back 20yrs..I remember every single time, I freaked out on my precious little person, and I have no recollection of the crime he had committed to deserve my wrath of momentary lapse of Sanity :( .
That’s one thing…I don’t remember what he did!
I do however remember every single time , I was NOT in control of my own behavior and out of control temper tantrums.
And my today consits of one very important person in my life..every one else is gone, moved on, etc..or even passed away! Yet, Shane… my son lives independently with his dedicated partner the very pretty, and unfortunately whininy Tori. Shane is on disability, I didn’t mention that he was a very sick child since birth. Although, mentally gifted and a talented musician , he is not so gifted with anxiety and panic disorders, as well as his very unfortunate physical ailments .
I said a lot. But, in a nutshell. Don’t hurt your kids. As I have mentioned, I don’t even remember what he had done, when I was in the process of losing my mind, probably for many reasons, and probably not 100+ because of whatever he was doing..that was probably just another straw added to the back of my real frustration, mad at myself for not having anyone else for whom I could yell” Hey, can you take care of your Son”! Because, it was just me! And , it is not easy going at “it” alone… But I promise you…it’s GOD DAMN worth it !
On my life, I swear to you.. most of us..hopefully have a built-in knowledge of what’s right and what’s wrong! And, smack his little ass , if you are calm enough to realize that your not trying to hurt ’em, and u possibly have to smile on the inside ;), and if you are so upset that beating their ass feels good, and your especially angry for the disrespect your receiving from your babies…GO SIT THE FUCK DOWN ON YOUR OWN BED! And calm down for a few minutes..then proceed with out the threat of murdering the child. PLEASE
And one more thing that I picked up from those few books I actually did have the opportunity to get through before my calling..To mothering a very sick little person…
And that rule is Don’t make idle threats, to your kids, because they are listening to every thing you say..And they trust your word, until you break it! And that includes threats! And I am hoping that when you, ( and I yell OUT.. ” I’m going to kill you”)!!, and I hope that you are not actually going to kill anyone…they are too :-) ,
But once, you show that your threats are idle..especially the one in which we are going to kill them, shows that your threats are not actually going to happen…good luck with the rest of the rules! If you say..touch that TV again, and you won’t be allowed to even watch TV for____amount of time! Do it! Keep that threat, who knows might be rid of the kid and her remote control disobedience problem quicker and less nose bleeds with your high blood pressure..than a screaming bought, a temper tantrum, headache and guilty conscious . Just do what you say…see if she likes the fact that the rules are real, and have a real consequence if broken!
Maggie Razzi/ Facebook
Comments welcome :-)
The Happy Mom

MizzyK 4 months ago

Motherhood: the big, fat fuck you. I could have written that headline! 3 boys, 8, 10, 12. I love them but the also suck the life out of me. I have also had these freak out moments. It’s not about the umpteenth booger wiped on the wall, the pee that doesn’t make into the toilet bowl, the negative-Nelly bickering amongst them, the not listening the first time. Or the second. The telling one to go get ready for bed only to see him 10 minutes later goofing around because he got distracted and hasn’t even glanced at a toothbrush. The lack of being able to find [insert any object here] because they didn’t put it back where it was supposed to go. Things like this making us late and causing an ugly scramble. The marked up walls, BB gun hole in the window. I could go on and on and on…it’s not one of these little things. It’s ALL of these things because they pile up. Before you have a chance to deal with one thing, 7 more things happen (or DON’T happen). I’ve relaxed a lot over the years but it’s a constant state of stress. Did I mention I love them? I do. I sometimes get glimpses of them turning into good humans. That helps. I just really, really relate to this post.

Alicia 4 months ago

Yes, I totally loose it like this sometimes too! You’re SO right that lots of little disrespectful actions and comments and ignoring mom do add up. Bravo for bravely admitting it, and thank you!

Carrie 4 months ago

The best thing I ever did was go back to work full time. I actually enjoy spending time with my kids now and I have so much more patience than I did before. Staying at home with them was much harder than working.

julie 4 months ago

Cynthia, I have four, one on the spectrum, and am also a broke ass SAHM. That being said, go see your doctor. Never going out or having an adult conversation is not healthy. Neither is self medicating and spending all day in a bed. Not coming after you at all, just look into getting some help, and getting out of your house. Take the kids to the library, most have some sort of a summer program, go for walks, with and without your kids, something. And hang in there, it will get better, you might just have to help it along.

Storm 4 months ago

LOL! We took our daughter door off when she went through the ‘slamming phase’ too BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It’s back on now, but she had to earn it back with good behavior 😉

Storm 4 months ago

Well said! I lost my temper at times with my daughter too, and we went though those rough patches that turn parenting into a baptism of fire! Now I have a (nearly) 16 yr old that willingly tidies her room (it only took 16 years 😉 ) and is loving and respectful (most of the time) and has a grip on where she’s heading. She’s healthy, has a great, eclectic bunch of friends and knows how to say ‘No’ . I couldn’t be prouder of her if I tried. And you know what? I’m pretty damn proud of myself and all the other Mums who got to this point intact (more or less) Good bloody job!

Barbara 4 months ago

My fifth and last just turned 14. I’ve been dealing with exactly this from my kids for 29 years. I have found that flipping off my kids as they storm out of the room and go in search a a better mother to be enormously satisfying. They have no clue as to what I’ve just done, and I feel like I had the last word. Everybody wins.

Mamaboo 4 months ago

Great post!
I know I’M probably opening myself up for criticism now, but this, this is exactly why I don’t want to have any more kids (I have one).
Everyone tries to convince me to have more, and I admire those that can handle large families, but I know I couldn’t handle it, and I don’t want to. I feel like I lose patience with my one enough as it is.
People tend to romanticise having kids, and there are many insanely wonderful moments, but it can also be unfathomably stressful.

Jackie Oliva 5 months ago

Yep!! I think we’ve all been there!

Jackie –

Lynn 5 months ago

I’ve been raising my step daughter since age 4 – now 15 – along with my two sons from a previous marriage (ages 18 and 21 now). Whew! It’s been a long road but we are in the home stretch. My career has been centered around teaching parenting and helping families AND I am human and have lost it a few times – no damage done but emotion and words flying – yes. Being step mom is a tough gig because you get all the responsibility and little credit. The poor step kids often is manipulated and guilted by her bio mom for loving me but I’m here to give you ladies hope. There is light at the end of the tunnel! It’ll all feel worth it in the end!

Jana 5 months ago

You are so on point. It’s about respect isn’t it? Sometimes I dispise what Motherhood has done to me…stressing, yelling, losing it all too often (at least inside) and feeling like a shrew instead of the sexy fun chick I used to be. I love my kids and wouldn’t change it but damn, it is an FU much of the time.

Thanks so much for this post. You are a soul sister.

Korin 5 months ago

Totally agree! Totally thankless job and yet I love my monsters!

kim 5 months ago

I’m sure you know by now that there are some really mean people in this world. I hope you feel great about yourself most of the time. Autism sucks and thankfully, you seem to be able to handle it. No matter who our children are, giving them a life surrounded with love and support makes them better able to handle the world. And, I do not believe any parent who denies occasional, regretful behavior. Whether it is yelling, cursing, be impatient, too strict, too lenient, whatever…we all could behave better than we do, sometimes. However, I do not think disciplining your children in public counts as bad behavior. Different kids need different tactics and strangers have no idea where you’ve been or what you’re dealing with. Keep being mom to those kids and get a break when you can. You’re a hero.

Heather 5 months ago

I’m with ya girl! No criticism coming from me. I bow down to your courage to be honest. A mother of four boys – I’ve said no baseball, soccer, football, wrestling, running in the house at least 500 times per day. They act as if it’s the first time they have ever heard such things. And no one seems to even hear me until the fourth time in ten minutes I have to say it (scream it). Lost my shit recently after I spent a great deal of time packing up crap for the 6 of us to be away for the weekend. Had the boys showered and ready. During the five minutes it took me to load the truck, two of the four boys managed to be soaked in mud from playing by the barn (after being told not to), one had unpacked a football from a bag and was tossing it in the house, and the fourth had clogged a toilet with a turd the size of Texas! Talk about losing it! I went bat shit crazy!!!!

Miranda 5 months ago

I love reading stuff like this because I feel like I’m not a monster or failure… Lots of people lose their shit, they just don’t talk about it publicly. Yesterday, I had a meltdown over DD2 refusing to eat. I screamed, I slammed a door repeatedly, I cried for like 30 minutes. I felt like such a shit mom. I couldn’t imagine my “mommy friends” or perfect Pinterest mommies having an adult tantrum. But maybe some of them do.

Holly Diaz 5 months ago

There is no mom that can say she hasn’t lost it at some point. I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one to have these moments. There are days when I’m driving home from work and want to keep going because I know that the second I walk in the door, the hardest job begins. I love my kids, wouldn’t trade being a mom for anything, but I deserve some gratitude!

TDM 5 months ago


Seanmom 5 months ago

And here’s what else it is. It’s realizing, when your first baby casts his first vote, that for the time being, yours means nothing–and it’s your fault, because you raised him. And it’s realizing that you gave everything you had every day of your life for two decades for people who don’t appreciate any of it–even though you know (because when you’ve been sick you’ve seen them “try”) that if you stopped doing a thousand things a day to keep them going, none of it would get done. And it’s trying to teach a 13-year old boy, or a 17-year old boy, to do the things he’ll need to do when you can’t do them for him–and finally giving in and doing it yourself just this one time, because if someone doesn’t do it you’ll lose your mind.
And it’s being asked what you did all day and not having an answer anyone cares to hear, because it’s all the things that sound so small and meaningless–but result in them being able to walk through the living room or make a snack or find the remote control or not eat crackers and slim jims for dinner. What did I do today? What did I do? Everything and nothing. Everything you needed, and nothing you can see, because it’s the not-seeing that you want.
And it’s knowing that “is it worth it?” is an unaskable question. Of course it is. It just is. You can’t explain why. You can’t defend yourself. It’s “Can God make a rock too big for Him to lift?” It’s foolishness incarnate, because the truth is, without all the F-U moments, there wouldn’t be the amazing, unpredictable, life-changing, breath-catching moments of graduations and weddings and report cards and anniversaries and dinners where everyone is there and consciously present. Because you would only be you-alone in the world, and terminal at the end of your life–no motherhood, no mark, no legacy. Just the same millions of moments with different kinds of frustration–and no one to share them with.

srr 5 months ago

Wow! You just described my life perfectly! I always feel like I’m the worst mother in the world. Nice to know I’m not alone.

Steph 5 months ago

Wow I can totally relate!

Stephie Frinee 5 months ago

I find Motherhood to be Life Fullfilung!!
Yet I quickly learned it can make u loose your mind in a second… Maybe that is why I kept it at ONE!!
My daughter is Truly the Best Human Being I have ever met!!! Plus Lucky me She is even My Best Friend!!!… Still with all this said I don’t think that a day goes by with me telling her in a chanting way
“I am loosing my Patience!!”…
In conclusion I admire and Respect All Moms out There!!, especially the Ones that have more than One!!

Shannon 5 months ago

i sincerely love the honesty of your blog. Yes this is an f*ing hard job. Painful at times. And at times I have no grace whatsoever and totally lose my shit. But then by the grace of God, I get it back because I have to for my kids. Thank you to you for making me feel like not so much of a freaking freak.

Sasha 5 months ago

I hear you! It drove me to the brink as well…and then I paused and realized, I don’t have to do everything. We sat down and make a list of chores that these kids came up on their own. And there were consequences. They want to play electronics in the morning, well, they have to get up on their own, get dressed, brush their teeth, make their bed and make sure clothes are not on the floor but in the hamper. They do that, they can play on their tablets before breakfast. Leave your bookbag at home, suffer without it for one day and they will never forget it again. Its tough. We want to do everything for them and what happens is they think that’s how the world works. This is how kids become young adults who feel entitled. On the flip side, they LOVE feeling responsible for something. “Mommy, I set the table”, “mom, i walked the dog”, ” mom, i tidied up my room”. Yes, they want rewards for that but thats fine. It’s helping me. And in return I’m not a lunatic yelling at them all the time. Perhaps setting up some expectations will help them and you treat each other better. It’s not a perfect plan by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s worth a try. REALLY.

Yvonne 5 months ago

I admire your bravery, and honesty, and openness, because you have helped me to know and understand that I am not the only one who has really lost it with her child(dren) to the severety in which you have described.

I have lost it with my young son in ways for which I am ashamed, and disappointed in myself, and sad — to my core. In those moments of errupting, all-consuming anger and/or rage, I have become and acted like someone that I, initially, did not recognise, and that I, unfortunately and sadly, recognize now.

Mothering this child has definitely shown how flawed and sinful I am. I had never been pushed to my parenting capability limits before he, my third child, came into my life. And I have such great sorrow that my handful of moments of rage towards him have irreversally damaged our parent-child relationship. I wish God would help both my son and me, and heal and improve our relationship with each other.

I am so thankful that I am not the only mother who has lost it that badly with his/her child. Thank you again, for sharing even the most difficult-to-share details. It means so much to my broken spirit and heart.

Heather 5 months ago

All I want to say is THANK YOU!!!

Nicholle 5 months ago

Its called go the fuck to sleep. Its on you tube an Samuel L. Jackson reads it soooo funny. There’s also book called toddlers are assholes. Humor helps.

Christen 5 months ago

Oh goodness! I always think, I want to start a blog that’s REAL LIFE. Like the everyday shit you ACTUALLY go through. Not all rainbows and flowers and Pinterest, and Pinterest rainbows and flowers. And here you are! I’ve found you! Thank you so much scary mommy!

Shauna 5 months ago

I felt like I was reading my own thoughts. I praise you!!!

Mishala 5 months ago

That’s because redemption isn’t necessary. Nobody here is in a place to judge her. She’s sharing her thoughts and experience of an event that happened in her home. To assume she did so for a redeeming from people she doesn’t even know is possibly the most egotistical thing I’ve ever read.

Mishala 5 months ago

We’ve all been there are one point or another. It happens. I think sometimes kids need to see that their parents are only human, and they have feelings, too. I rarely feel guilty when I lose it. In all honesty, if I’ve gotten to that point, my family knows they have it coming. It’s not often, but I can tell you, it beats trying to keep it bottled in.

Sez Me 5 months ago

Bahaha, I love this part:

‘You got nothing but unicorns and rainbows in your social toolkit and life will punch you in the face, hard, and then steal your unicorn and shit on your rainbow’

So true. So true it hurts. Along with the rest of your comments about how people learn to manage their emotions, I might add! 😉

Kristin 5 months ago

She doesn’t need to redeem herself to us. She is simply sharing a scenerio that happened in her life and her experience. We can either relate or not but it isn’t meant for us to judge her or anyone else. None of us handle every situation the way other people might or think we should. Emotions are tricky and being a mommy does not mean your emotions suddenly dissappear or are always in check. I think it was very brave to post this because too many people (mommies) are worried about looking perfect or being up to a certain standard that they don’t share the hard stuff and look for support. Also kudos to the moms who are Uber patient because they are out there but I personally am not one and although I wish I was never will be. Let’s be nice and supportive whether you can relate or not.

Kristin 5 months ago

Yes…I felt like you were writing the words from my own head! I used to feel so guilty and like I had to be a failure of a mother to feel this but I’m not. None of us are. There are going to be times when we blow…I mean come on it seems highly inevitable…I don’t have the patience of a saint or even a molecule of it to be honest. Thank u for sharing this because as bad as it sounds and as much as my heart breaks for you because I have this scenerio more than I want to recount, it is nice to know I’m not the only one. 😉

Katrina 5 months ago

Thank you so much for writing this! I don’t felt like such a lunatic now! I lost it this morning with my 10 year old daughter and 13 year old son. They are the biggest slobs in the world and their stuff was strewn all over the downstairs of the house. And we won’t even talk about their bedrooms. I have asked them 100 times not to leave their things all over the place and to pick up after their selves….it’s general pop not their own personal space. I got the eye roll, the long exhale and moan and that was it. I lost my shit.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who feels this way.

cathy 5 months ago

I just love you. This post blew me away. I felt like I was reading my daily thoughts. Our job as mothers is fucking hard and I praise you for your courage and honesty. Hugs!

Kayla Elder 5 months ago

Thank you, so many blogs I read… Are moms posting about how absolutely perfect they are. Its really nice to see that I’m not the only mom who has her breakdowns and regrets them. Its a really mind racking job, I struggle with doctor appointments, grocery store tantrums, and most of all why do “I have to put my toys in my you box” or have a clean room.

Meg in Motion 5 months ago

I feel so bad every time I snap at my kids for repeatedly doing the same thing over and over or how my son will look over his shoulder at me and see if I see he’s about to do something he knows he’s not supposed to. I will pick the kids up after I’ve lost it and love on them and tell them I love you and I’m sorry for handling it that way but this is wrong. Being a mom is so hard and not for the light hearted. Thank you so much for posting this and helping me feel a little less guilty.

yiyi 5 months ago

LOL well said!

yiyi 5 months ago

I agree with you, and I also feel the same way and also lose it with my kids because there are no breaks or lunches for mothers. I have an 8 year old girl and 3 year old twin boys, and have said enough? My twins suck the life out of me everyday, I love all my children and I have learned that you will never be perfect at anything and thats ok. I am a stay at home mom for the past year since moving to a new city. My children all go to school until 2:00pm and I am completing my degree online and doing my chores during those hours. This is my break from them but it makes me feel human like I am worth something and not just a maid and a nanny. My head is spinning constantly as my boys are always finding new ways to drive me crazy, they need constant supervision. Now that I have vented I want to say that my husband does help when he comes home from work. But unfortunately when he gets home Im already burned out and frustrated, and so I have an attitude and I have noticed it and I hate it. As a mother of twins I can understand you fully. I have learned to let go and let God and he has kept me strong and sane! Blessing and prayers your way.

BB 5 months ago

Just think of this…One day you will be sitting in your quiet, peaceful, clean house and one of your kids will call you, they’ll be complaining about the things their kids are doing that is driving them crazy. Then they will apologize for doing those things to you.
Then you hang up the phone in your peaceful, quiet, clean house, grab your glass of wine and laugh your ass off at the delicious paybacks your kids are getting.

I’m in that phase of life right now and it. is. AWESOME!

Sara 6 months ago

I lose it every day several times somedays and I tell myself never again every night but its like my brain is constantly near boiling point especialy in the mornings. Is that normal?

Megan 6 months ago

Disclaimer: I only have one kid, and I have 50/50 split custody, so I’m kind of a cheater in the sense that I only have my little barnacle half of the time, so I get a break. It’s a tough break, because I miss her when she’s gone, but it’s still a break. I do, however get to deal with the shittiness of co-parenting my kid with another family (who, thankfully are pretty good parents) so maybe that evens the score.

Thank you for this post.

I freak the fuck out on a regular basis. Here’s what my (extensive) therapy has taught me. As long as it’s not abusive, losing control in front of your kids is good for them, not the opposite, as long as they see you regain control. It teaches them that it’s human to get frustrated, and watching you simmer down teaches them them the skills they need to control their own emotions. Our kids learn by emulating us; if you’re never exposed to conflict and it’s resolution, as a child, what the fuck do you do when your outside of the “perfect” parent’s bubble? You got nothing but unicorns and rainbows in your social toolkit and life will punch you in the face, hard, and then steal your unicorn and shit on your rainbow.

Freaking out once in a while doesn’t make you a bad parent. It makes you a human being. And teaching your kids that it’s okay to be a human being seems like a pretty good idea to me.

Meccala 6 months ago

As I lay here reading this, I think to myself “the kids will be up in about an hour for school. Then the bullshit begins.” Every.Single.Day.
They never act this way for my husband. Nope. They save the real good shit for mom.
Don’t beat yourself up. You’re not the only one.

Tesha 6 months ago

Yes. Thank you, girlfriend. Being a mom is fucking hard. Motherhood is beautiful and wonderful and the greatest gift I’ve ever been given. It gives me happiness and purpose and it gives me a life worth living.. While simultaneously being the hardest, most life sucking, thankless, tiring thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. It’s terribly emotionally draining and I feel like some days I need to be dragged off to the funny farm. But the worst thing to me is when moms act like they have perfect lives that never suck ass or drive them to drink on a week night. I LOVE my kids so much, I would die for them. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy to be their mom every day. Thank you for sharing and making me feel better.

Tia 6 months ago

Oh, my gosh. I’m planning on being a mom soon. What am I getting into? I can’t even imagine one minute of this scenario.

estoyaqui 6 months ago

growing up, I’d think in Spanish “Vete pa’l carajo.” F## you, go to he@#? Ceelo Green’s anthem “Fuck You!” Cleaned up to: Forget you. Nothing is new under the sun. Three kids. in my sixties now: no grandkids, My sons are too self-involved to have kids, my daughter can’t get pregnant. Yes, I have a sense of humor. My ex-husband tried his hardest to kill my joy, and then he punched me in the nose after 36 years of marriage. This article definitely has it right. In spite of how many times I’ve been told: “fu# you” I’m still here, still have a sense of humor.

Amy 6 months ago

Oh, boy, I can relate. With 2 teen girls and 2 toddler girls, I have had my share of meltdowns. Let’s just say that slamming on the breaks while driving really does get bickering girls to stop and pay attention!

krystle 6 months ago

You are definitely not alone!!!! I had one of those meltdowns today!!!! My fiance won’t help so I also feel like I deal with everything on my own!!!! And venting is a very therapeutic!!!!

Anne 6 months ago

I’m also a child free 48 year old & agree 100% with what you wrote.

Ashley 6 months ago

This made me laugh and cry because I CRAVE to read articles like this. CRAVE IT!!!! I lose my shit way too often and struggle with the shame bc I just don’t see anyone else really lose it. Thank you for your honesty, seriously. Also, my mom is has Borderline Personality Disorder so I can relate to you right down to your description of your mom seemingly believing that her kids were responsible for her happiness/unhappiness. That adds a whole other dynamic to motherhood too when that’s your default to fight against.

So thank you. I’m loving your blog. It’s just what I need to read right now!

Anne 6 months ago

I don’t understand why people have kids & then act surprised that it’s a nightmare. I’ve been reading & listening to women saying things you’ll see on Scary Mommy for years & years. Why doesn’t anyone pay attention to the experiences of others? Not being a bitch, just so curious!

Jessica 6 months ago

Yes. A thousand times yes. Thank you so much for writing this so my husband and I can see that we are not alone.

Cristy 6 months ago

I have lost my shit so many times over the years with my kids… Sometimes it all just takes its toll and you can’t control it any more. When I do, I try to go do something fun and special with the particular one I lost it with. It doesn’t excuse it or make up for it, but it gives us a chance to talk it through calmly and make peace.

Heather 6 months ago

I remember my mum’s exhaustion and angry outbursts when I was a teenager and how it would make me secretly despise her. Only now that I am a mother myself do I understand her. I wish I could show her my gratitude for her love and good intentions, no matter what mistakes she made also. I am also so tired right now, with my 4 year old yelling at me a lot and my one and a half year old crying/ yelling/ wanting. I have put so much of myself into mothering that I feel I might have protected myself a bit better had I managed to combine motherhood with work ( which I really didn’t want at the time but will start doing soon). I am pleased to share and read I am not alone with finding it so hard at times to stay calm and collected but also strongly feel I (we) need to move forward and away from frazzled mum outbursts as I believe they are doing damage to all.

Teresa 6 months ago

OMG!! I so understand! I’m a grandmother now, my kids are 30 and 24 and I still feel this way sometimes!

Katie 6 months ago

THANK YOU for writing this. Being a mom is not all sunshine and giggles…sometimes I just want to say F you to everything.

Cheryl 6 months ago

Thank you for validating my feelings! I lost it this morning. If they would just listen & do what I tell them the first time…..

Javene 6 months ago

Thank you. Simply,thank you. Thank you for saying how I feel, but to afraid to say it out loud. I have 5 kids and lose my shit on a daily.

DaNina 6 months ago

Wow this so hit home with me. Except I have some health issues and only two kids 15 and almost 13 and I’m 32…. My husband thinks my job of being a mother is not a job and the kids shouldn’t have chores and I need a Real job. So to add insult to injury my kids now think this as well. Did I mention that he makes more money than most couples who work in corporate America. It’s like nothing is ever good enough then when you snap or your sick no help. I wish I could find two full time jobs and let him do my job. It wouldn’t last a week…. Hell.. probably not even 2 days….

Tiffany 6 months ago

Im with you a thousand and one percent. I had a huge meltdown on Monday and everything that went wrong did. You’re not alone. Motherhood is so fucking hard…

Maria 6 months ago

Omg I had a similar morning and i felt like a shitty mom! I cursed at my 8 year old and actually pulled over to take a breather because i lost it. Her attitude this morning was just shitty and it wasnt that she ignored me that was just theblast in a atring of things that pusbed me over the edge and i must have looked like a maniac. So thank you for sharing. It feels good to know im not alone.

Lisa 6 months ago

It is good to hear so many moms who don’t pretend to be perfect, that are human and have weak moments. I have one son, who is great, but also can be stubborn and demanding. I’ve faced health problems in the last couple years and it makes it hard to not feel unappreciated when getting little help or cooperation around the house, from either him or his dad. Those moments of sweetness, when the kiddo asks if I’m ok or just sits next to me with his head on my shoulder are the moments that keep me going. But, more often than not it’s endless requests, eye rolling, and general argument with the rules and authority that make it tough not to flip out on a semi regular basis. Thanks for sharing and letting me know my feelings are normal.

Lotusblossom5 6 months ago

Jee. Sus. Nailed it entirely.

Lauralee 6 months ago

Oh my gosh yes!! With the addition of my fiance’s children, overnight I went from a SAHM of two kiddos to five. I am now responsible for a 6 year old, 4 year old, 3 year old twins & a 2 year old. Some days are awesome, amazing, so fulfilling. Other days I LOSE MY MIND because 5 kids are chaos & don’t listen to anything- especially my 6 year old future stepdaughter who is already throwing me the “you’re not my mom” attitude. So yes, once in awhile….. I flip out. But, like every other mom in the world, I take & deep breath & vow to try harder tomorrow.

Tori 6 months ago

Ive had my share of these days n I’ve taken the door b4 too lol

Dawn 6 months ago

I couldn’t have said it better myself… You put into words my exact feelings… My life is more complex it seems though with 2 handicapped children (both teenagers) and a new born… My teenagers are what you explain 10-fold. Its perplexing to me why I would want to try it again with the newborn – maybe misery likes company – I don’t know. Good for you for having a blog – I wish I could do the same – however, the criticism would only make my life worse… But glad I know now I am not the only person who feels like we get a “BIG FAT FUCK YOU” at the end of the day.

Beth 7 months ago

How did you get into my head!?!?!?!?

Niko 7 months ago

Angie, I was going to say the same thing! I have 2 boys and I don’t know how I haven’t been institutionalized yet…I love them more than anything but at the same time they make me absolutely insane! I don’t know how anyone can deal with more than 2…God Bless! Lately, I feel like all I do is yell at them because all they do is fight! It’s total chaos! But hey, who said it was gonna be easy lol

Kathy 7 months ago

I’m currently on strike at home for this exact feeling of being unappreciated. I’m so glad I read this today because I’m beginning to think I’m truly losing my mind. I’m breaking out in hives from it!

Jordan 7 months ago

I feel like this too. When the 5yr old and sometimes my husband start treating me like a maid. And I’ve lost it a couple times too. Motherhood is great and it also sucks balls. There’s nothing else quite like it.

Kim 7 months ago

I don’t aspire to be a perfect mother. But I do aspire to at least be the kind of mother who can lose her shit over a tv remote and then work her way rationally through it like you do instead of just….staying mad and making their kids think they are no longer loved because they behaved badly, like my mother used to do to me. Your way is about 1000x better. Keep on keepin on :)

Pauline 7 months ago

This article totally pins it! So many times, over our parenting journey (19YO & 16YO sons, 13YO daughter), I’ve submitted to an outburst, and DH just doesn’t understand why. Usually the trigger is superbly minute, but the impact is overly enormous. All the feelings of being under-appreciated, failing at being an authority figure (especially during the teenage years), being ignored time and again, come together in the form of a nuclear meltdown. But you know what? All it takes is another “Mum~”, “Mummy” or smile from them to transform me back into their T-shirt-picking, room-cleaning, problem-solving mother.

Sam 7 months ago

And you are so right they dnt appreciate the things we do.. they only expect more.. its like im a maid instead of a mother .. I really thought it was suppose to be sunshine and rainbows.. no one tells you the truth abt it.. especially those damn magazines.. do you know its been roughly 4 yrs since ive had a shower by myself or got to go to the bathroom by myself.. unless I run and lock the door then good god who can concentrate for the screamin to get in and beatin on the door.. my husband has abused me for abt as many yrs(13)as we have been married.. so my kids (mainly son) tried tht one.. rude awakenin for his lil ass.. ive been tryin to divorce him for abt 5 yrs now.. maybe a lil longger.. hes always comin and goin and when he is around he will say things like you need to make your kids mind(MY KIDS).. really wtf.. I mean he was there too.. But point bein you know what.. its okay for us mothers to have episodes too.. why shouldn’t we.. and I agree.. yeah girls are lil bitches..i dnt think girls were bein “singled” out.. hell a woman has it made in the world.. its called the power of pussy.. true story..lmao.. especially in groups lil girls are almost unbearable.. house full of boys aint got shit on my girls.. my 4 yr old girl is tougher than any boy you’ve ever seem in your life and tinsy for her age.. and causes more fights in our house than you can image.. fuck the books.. scream and cuss if you need cuz ive found the whole bein calm and nice .. well sometime just don’t help JACK SHIT!!

Sam 7 months ago

I have 3 girls..18mnths..3yrs…and 4yrs.. and bless his heart a 9yr old son.. I also have a piece of shit husband of 13yrs that I go to bed every night prayin gets hit by a fuckin truck and drug down the road miles b4 dyin.. hum sorry abt that.. in a nutshell im a single mom of 4.. so I know all abt snappin.. me and my kids battle abt how mean I am at times.. I have to remind them the reason I am yelling in the 1st place is cuz they didn’t listen.. you know I would have never made a single outburst to my mom.. or called her out of her name.. at least not to her face that is.. or guess what..smack.. right in the not sayin beat them but maybe if we did a lil more like my mom did me growin up.. thennn maybe we might get a lil more respect.. JUST SAYIN>>LOL

Deb 7 months ago

AMEN! That whole blog was me in a nut shell…

Maren 7 months ago

I feel like this many of times!! I commend you for speaking out and making those of us that feel the same, feel not so alone.

Jason 7 months ago

Uh… Fascism can be a drain for the dictator, too, yes. BTW: How many little people are living in this shoe?

Liz 7 months ago

OMG, yes! We have an only that wasn’t meant to be an only and I am sick of him hitting me, teasing me and all that crap he should be doing to someone else! I feel bad telling him Mom just can’t play right now, again and again, we live in the country…it’s exhausting. No one ever told me how much onlies think of themselves as the other adult in the house not the kid.

Sarah 7 months ago

I came across this and it was me yesterday to a tee. I’m a mom of 5, 3 girls and 2 boys and I want to murderize at least one a day. Head up ladies… It can only get better, right? lol

Melissa 7 months ago

My twins are only three and I feel the exact same way. Motherhood is the hardest job a person can ever have. Nothing in the world can prepare us for the life that follows after having a child. I went from being a laid back quiet, go with the flow type person to a bag of nerves who flies off the handle at the thought of a tantrum so……… whatever. I’m still a human being not a robot.

Cheri 7 months ago

i finished reading this and had to scroll back up to see if I had written this myself during a sleep deprived fog. You are not alone. I’ve been home with my kids and daycare kids for 20 years now, and with the proliferation of stories online of perfect families with perfect parents and perfect kids, I have sometimes felt the need to hide the fact that I am prone to chasing my children down the hall myself. Thank you for letting me know I am not alone out here!

Terry 7 months ago

Yes, Yes and again I say Yes!!! Finally someone said it out loud! I’m raising 3 grandkids, alone, most thankless, exhausting thing I’ve ever done in my life! I’m just grateful for those small happy moments that remind me why I do this!

Stephanie 8 months ago

Thank you for this Scary Mommy. I had one of these moments yesterday with my oldest (I have two now… a 9 wk old & my 4 1/2 yo). I felt so ashamed… but I also felt everything you wrote in this article, too! It was the straw that broke the camel’s back – but it builds constantly with him arguing ALL. the. freaking. time! LOL

Good thing I know we have a great relationship and we made up quick & today is a new day. Motherhood is difficult! More difficult than any of us would like to admit to.

granniedawn 8 months ago

brings to mind my parents — neither one swore in front of us, and we were not allowed to say “hate”, such a strong word my dad used to say.

but one day as we three kids were arguing, as we did most days, my mom lost it. She threw the 5000 piece puzzle we had been working on against the wall, said the f word, and drove off in her station wagon (gotta love it!) We kids spent about 4 hours wondering if she was ever coming back. She did, was going thru chemo at the time and trying to quit smoking, So horrible to remember how bad we were to her, but taught us to never take anything for granted.

my dad, on the other hand, who once took me to task because he thought I stuck my tongue out at his friends (I was being brave and sticking it out at him lol), when I got the honor of golfing with him in his late seventies, apparently was known as the foulest mouth on the course! first time I ever experienced his disapproval and heard him swear!

I am laughing as I think about all this, and so appreciate that you guys are all able to express yourselves in whatever way — in the end it all comes down to who was there. You moms are all so special, never worry about losing it lol — your children will just remember the love <3

Stacey 8 months ago

I just subscribed to your site this morning, on a friends suggestion, and already you’ve made me feel better! Misery loves company I guess. Day after day I feel like this and yesterday I finally had had enough and snapped. After my three year old told me to leave the house, which he does 15 times a day when he’s pissed, I told him I was leaving and never coming back! Not proud of that one, very low point. Of course today he’s moved on and hasn’t brought it up but I keep dwelling on it and basically torturing myself over it, but I’m a firm believer in “this too shall pass”. Thanks again for being so honest about motherhood!

Wendy Boice 8 months ago

THANK YOU! I so feel the same way at times! You go!

Jessica 8 months ago

Thank you for having the courage to share this. I have felt this exact way and had almost the exact reactions and feelings. Unfortunately too often we can’t share this piece of motherhood because everyone judges you for not saying it is the most rewarding wonderful job you could ever have, every single moment of it should be treasured. And these things are true at times, but some times it is just so damn hard and thankless. So Thank you for being a mom and all you do and thank you for putting it out there because it is how so many of us feel sometimes.

karen 8 months ago

I have a friend that threw a computer out of the window of his house… the shoes ….. not that bad.

karen 8 months ago

Oh boy , this post hits home in such a perfect way today !!!! losing my sanity bit by bit every day !!!!

Paula Byrne 8 months ago

I don’t think the aim was to discriminate against fathers, I believe she was given an account of her morning as a Mother . I have not doubt your thoughts and experience would be welcome as a father , stay at home or working.

Kara Cirese 8 months ago

HILARIOUS!!!! So happy to have found this site and found that I am in VERY GOOD company:)!!!
After one of my (well earned) rants on the way to drop off my then 2 and 5 yr old boys,
my 2 yr old asked innocently “Mommy need medicine?”


Amanda 8 months ago

Thank you so much. I feel like I get the up yours all the time. I have felt like I’m at my whits end. I not only have to be mom and wife but I have the same job as my husband just I get to work a 12 hrs shift At Night and I get to do all the house work. Sorry I need to unload.

reader 8 months ago

It’s good that you verbalize your appreciation to her.
In my experience it makes a huge difference.

reader 8 months ago

I believe that parents, male, female, or else, are able to learn how to raise children.
However, you may have failed to notice that in most cases, the most unrewarding chores are taken care of, most of the time, by the mothers. That in most families, the primary caregiver is the mother. That a father is getting much more praise than a mother for doing what is simply parenting, but is not painted as work for mothers because it’s described as natural to the latter. That most often the man is seen as “helping” while the woman is seen as the one in charge, not only of the children but of the huge load of mundane chores that come with them. That there is an opposition between the social image of a SAHD, seen as a free and enlightened mind, open to innovation and brave, and that of a SAHM.
The whole society is discriminating against mothers.

Robin 8 months ago

OMG! I LOVE this. I’m sorry you have to go through this SOMETIMES, BUT NOW I’M GLAD to see I’m not the only one. I always feel SUCH guilt when I have these days. Thankfully they’re few and far in between and thankfully my kids understand, or at least I THINK they do, or they pretend to or whatever. I just know – THANK YOU! Most people are too afraid to say the REAL way they’ve acted on a sporadic basis, because you know, all the nay sayers out there who always seem to do it better AND JUST LOVE to tell those of us who have lost it ONCE in a while, HOW to do it BETTER (and BTW, when I get one of those, I challenge them to come to MY HOUSE AND TRY DOING IT the “positive way” without them losing their cool). I officially love your website and consider it one of THE BEST now. It just feels good to be able to see people who vent in a true manner instead of those who are just pretending that everything is hunky dory when they know damn well, it’s not. I can’t wait to go through and read some more of your posts. You are probably the closest person I’ve seen as REAL in a long time, like I said, MOST just want to sugar coat their lives and act like everything is smiles with kitties and flowers all the time. hahaha… I wish. Oh, and I have three kids, one being 22 (and in her 3rd year of pre-med :) and then a 15 year old and a 10 year old. My 15 year old is the one stressing me right now! HE WANTS TO KNOW WHY he can’t spend the night with his girlfriend?!!!!! Am I lame for thinking that HE SHOULDN’T BE SPENDING THE NIGHT WITH HER at his age? He acts as though he’s 20, not 15, AND HE JUST turned 15 back in November.

Carissa 8 months ago

I confess that this is me on a daily basis. I yell until my voice hurts the same as if I had just come back from a 3 hour long concert. This depression and anxiety is turning me into a freaking monster. It’s killing me!

Jamie 8 months ago

By the way…..did you happen to read the two comments above yours? Sounded like they were singing the praises of their men. I agree with Dawn……LAME COMMENT

Jamie 8 months ago

I think she was talking about her own experience. I didn’t feel there was anything derogatory against men. You spoke negatively about your girls mother. She was telling her own story. if you don’t like it then don’t read it. Simple as that.

Jamie 8 months ago

Yes Selena! I don’t understand this singling out of girls as being less desirable to raise than boys. No wonder it’s harder for women to make their way in this world. The discrimination is starting at home. Each child is an individual. What is with this classification….boys are easy, girls are bitches….for real??????

Jamie 8 months ago

Wow Lorraine! I totally agree with everything in the post. Motherhood is hard and you feel like you’re losing your mind but that is pretty harsh to single out your girls & call them names.

amberleah 8 months ago

Oh wow…amazing…I am not the only one?

Amy 8 months ago

This is great! I have 3, wonderful, beautiful, smart, funny daughters, that put me over the edge….a lot! lol Thanks for the wonderful read…prayers to you! Hang in there <3

momIL 8 months ago

Um, yes — so much this. Thank you for sharing so I know that I’m not alone for having these moments (or, who I am kidding, sometimes days).

Would love to know what other’s spouses responses are to these occasions. I get “You need anger management therapy” and “Maybe you should get a job out of the house”.

Lorena 8 months ago

Mind fuck is right I don’t know how I’m going to manage with my three year old and now and newborn!

Caloryn 8 months ago

You are not alone! Yesterday I made up a sing songy version of “Fuck you, fucking bullshit!” We do what we have to, & we stay sane. Hope you have a better day today!

Parker 8 months ago

wow, that is so mean!! I could never have done that as the shoes were clearly special to her if even only for a day.

Parker 8 months ago

I think quite the opposite. Religion is a private matter, and unless you want to introduce every religion into their education then religion has no place in a public classroom. There are just not enough hours in the day as there are 1000s of them. Discrimination has zero to do with this very important law. However, I am not opposed to offering class or injecting a lesson into their education which teaches the history of religion and how it has influenced the world in almost every aspect of human existence noting both negative and positive outcomes. I actually think it is an important part of our education and that we shouldn’t just ignore it because we are uncomfortable with its history and/or exposing our children to all of these religions because we are scared they might choose to have a different set of beliefs based on this education whether switching religions or ditching it altogether. It is important that children make that decision for themselves because although it is family matter, it is so personal and should not be pushed onto anyone without giving them all of the facts first. This religious conflict we have in the U.S. is just getting so old. We have a Constitution which says very clearly the intention of the writers was to completely separate church and state so that we could be a truly free country. It is in black and white and has absolutely zero grey area. It is one of the most important foundations we have, and people are misinformed from birth about this by the majority of the US Christian families are giving their children false information about our history. We were not founded upon any religion whatsoever. I think it is terrible to tell them otherwise. I felt hoodwinked when I started to ask my own questions about religion, its history, its history in relation to the foundation of the U.S., and I felt quite angry at my parents for just down right lying to me and in turn causing me to look down on others who were not the same religion. Anyway, I can appreciate a personal relationship with whatever God someone wants to identify with, but I will never be ok with recognizing any single religion in our schools as it would inevitably lead to misinformation, favoritism among the religion based on the majority of the school’s religious outlook. All the while isolating the other children. It cannot happen. My dad, my grandfather, and my great grandfather were all ministers and tried to overturn that law which I found out later in life. I was mortified, and I feel bad daily for those people who are pushed into a corner because they are not the dominant religion or because they picked the “wrong” version of whatever religion, etc. Kids have enough to worry about.

Parker 8 months ago

the problem is society sets such high, unrealistic, or just plain dumb standards on how children should be raised. I feel a lot of the rules I hear about here, there and wherever are sometimes only created for selfish reasons by the parent. They want to appear to be doing everything “right” or come across as a “great” mom for her monitoring or sheltering skills. Some like the attention, and some do it to fit-in with the other “supermoms” which both can be labeled as selfish. You have to do what works for your family no matter how it might look to the outside world. It is none of their business and like I said before, causes unnecessary strain and conflict in the home when some of those things just don’t matter or have no just cause for being implemented in the first place (just a bunch of anecdotal or false reports of there success). If you strip down a lot of the things that cause problems in the family, especially with young teens, is that they are being prevented from being who they are, doing what makes them happy (obviously while still maintaining self control, self respect and respect of others), being given rules without any explanation as to why and/or being reprimanded for inquiring about the why and expecting honest answers not canned responses learned by the parent from outside influences, etc. They should be implemented if an when there is a need such as if a change in behavior with negative outcomes ensues, and the only thing that my have changed was their current interests, people they hang with, media outlets, video games, etc. If they show no signs of really harming themselves or the affecting their futures in a negative way, or conflicting with the outside world in a way that causes real issues, then what is the point of some of the crazy rules I hear from certain people (a lot of which have no reasoning whatsoever except societal or familial pressures or wanting to appear to know exactly what is best for them at all times when in fact sometimes they actually can determine some of those things themselves or need to learn on their own why certain rules are in place). You have to fail sometimes to learn, an a constant shelter isn’t going to help that in the long run. We want to protect our children, and also prevent chaos in the home because there is more than one personality that resides in the home and we all have live together, and we want to shelter them from the ugliness of the world, but it is getting out of hand in my opinion and we are sending our children out into the world with no protection or self preservation tools bc we shelter them so much, or we implement rules that in the long run just make no difference really and damage/ruin our relationships with them and send them into the world feeling jaded or untrusting none of which are good outcomes. We end up doing the opposite even though at the time they may have been well-intentioned. We have to pick our battles, and I guarantee people will see a change in their children and their relationships with them. I am not perfect, nor do I have all the answers, but I have seen this too many times and it can damage these kids long term or negatively impact their perception of reality, We have to be parents, but we also have to gain/earn their trust so they will understand why we do and say some of things we do and say without harboring resentment, isolating, or causing unnecessary disconnects and pain in the family. That women who sold her son’s x-box, I mean wow, he will never forget it, and while you might mend over time, he will always remember it and it will also stir a negative emotion inside of him whether she knows it or not. Unless that kid was really deserving of that, and it would take a lot for me to do that to my child, then I would consider that a perfect example of what not to do. I feel so bad for him. My parenting style is very different than what I have witnessed, but it seems to be working for us. My children are well-behaved, inquisitive, curious, knowledge-seeking, fun little people who I am always proud to show off to the world without any fear of tantrums or disrespect to adults, and yes, they both watch t.v, (and have their own), play video games, surf the net, etc., but they also love to read, love to learn and explore this unknown world they live in, and are not showing any signs that my decision to parent this way is harming them in anyway. They are my best friends in the world, and they still respect that I am also their mother. None of this is to say we don’t have our moments because we absolutely do, but I feel a connection with them I never felt with my parents. That is trust, openness, loyalty, respect, friendship, I could go on and on, and I am so grateful for it. They are even allowed to say one swear word a year on their birthday (it was sort of an inside joke at first, but now it is tradition), and they sometimes opt out or give their swear away to one of us which is really funny (you have to be there). Point being, they make the right decisions a lot of the time all on their own, and I feel if more people would allow their child this sort of learning freedom (again within reason) they will surprise you because they always know more than we think. I realize every child is different, every home/family is different, and so different strokes for different folks is very true. My grandfather said something that has stuck with me and that is to look at trust like a grading system. He starts me out with an A or 100, and it is up to me to keep it, but as soon as the trust is broken or the behavior inappropriate or bad, I lose that A and getting back is much harder than keeping it an A from the beginning. I try to approach my kids that way as much as possible. Anyway, that’s just my humble opinion…

Parker 8 months ago

I understand completely what you are going through. It is a vicious cycle of highs and lows every single day. What’s worse, I swore I would never do or say some of things that come flying out of my mouth or “overreact” to certain things the way my parents did (a lot o that stemmed from them being on the crazy side of Christianity…no offense, but they were nutty, irrational in their thinking and perception of the things was naïve, butI am not dogging Christianity as a whole). As soon as I hear myself, I stop dead in my tracks and get a sick feeling that I am completely failing my challenge not to be that parent, and sometimes the lightbulb goes off and I think ohhh that’s why they did what they did (not often though). For the most part though, I feel like I am doing a good job of being completely opposite to how my parents did things, but from time to time it just slips. Anyway, one thing I have learned, mostly the hard way, and as cliché as it sounds, “you have to pick your battles” or you will be a miserable person and possibly ruin your relationships (sometimes it is hard to pick them though). I am still learning how to do that, but it an almost instant change in morale in our household was so much better when I implemented that way of thinking. That gets me to my original thoughts about the blog post. You want your kids to stay away from “bad tv” yet your behavior, from what I gathered from the tone of your post, contradicts the very reasons you want to shelter them (not saying your tone is wrong bc it sounds just like me, but how do you think you learned how to cope…through real-life experience or even…drumroll…television/media outlets). I swear I am not dogging you as we all have our own ways of doing things, and different things work for different people, yada yada, but I am definitely much more relaxed when it comes to sheltering my children from the inevitable outside world. In my opinion, and my opinion is based on real-life observations (coming from a strict religious upbringing and being surrounded by other children in the same type of environment), that it does more harm than good in the long run. I encourage my children to ask questions about what they witness on tv, the internet, outside world, etc., and I always try to be as honest as possible and provide anecdotal reasons for my answers or opinions about things so that they don’t end up feeling completely lost when they reach certain ages and experiences. Sometimes reality is a tough pill to swallow, but I feel it is important to arm them with tools necessary to deal with those things, and again, feel comfortable being open and honest about their questions and curiosities. Within reason of course. I just don’t see how filtering their television to such an extreme will be beneficial to them in the long run, and as you have seen, it causes, in my opinion, an unnecessary conflict in the home which of course will domino into other negative issues. There are things that parents are uncomfortable talking to their kids about, or vice versa, and those snotty teenagers on the t.v,, believe it or not, might end up being one of those tools I mentioned before as they will have at least some insight on how to deal with it. I may not always like the content or the message of show/movie, but if you notice, there are very few channels on television that fit into a lifestyle of sheltering/filtering the real world. I realize some of it is unrealistic or nonsense, but a lot of it can and is helpful to them whether we understand the whys of that is or not (controversial opinion I am sure). There is a reason for this and it is because you can’t change reality. Hiding from it only hinders their self-preservation education and path to autonomy. I hope you don’t take offense, but I do hope you re-evaluate those types of rules because the helicopter-style parenting can be detrimental to a child as well as the family dynamics and relationship building between you an your child especially when they don’t understand why these rules are place and causes confusion and sometimes even isolation from other children that have not been sheltered this way. They can learn it from tv/media, they can learn from their half-informed/8 year old friends who may or may not relay the info correctly, from you of course, or a combination of real life, media and their support network. I choose the latter. Either way it is going to happen, they will have to know eventually about anything and everything and even how or why another person behaves in such a way (the snotty teenagers you mentioned) and could be an eye opener for them on how not to act bc they also witness the consequences from those behaviors at the same time (god-willing). …but that is just my humble opinion. There is no manual and all of us our different so to each his own I guess.

Sandy 9 months ago

Having grown daughter (30 & 26) and now a granny, this is a fun trip down memory lane. In the long run, only the good things are well remembered; and the bad things as hilarious.

Jennifer @ Donnie Darko Girl 9 months ago

I can SO relate to this article. I feel the worst when I lose my shit in front of my dad, and he’s just sitting there stunned. As if he and Mom didn’t have those moments when me and my sister were growing up! Now that he’s grandpa, he’s super chill. I don’t want to wait until I’m in my 50’s to find some peace, you know?

Reading through most of the comments on this post, it makes me feel so good to see everyone supporting each other. That’s so rare to see so much positivism and no one trying to bash each other. So awesome!

Doobee 9 months ago

You are so spot on. What I hate most about motherhood is that I feel like I spent my entire 20s and early thirties learning how to control my yelling/temper and really love just living in the moment. Mothering a high needs child smashed all that shit I did to fucking bits. You can hate your day to day life dealing with toddler shit and whining and spaz attacks because her barbie looked at her the wrong way, but it is when parenting pushes me 100 percent past my boundaries of self respect that the resentment really sets in. Like, despair mixed with anguish mixed with anger….and you just have to paint that smiley face back on and get on with it. Now days when I hear about crack moms or those that just ‘check out’ and give up, I know that it was not their original idea, parenting targets every single chink in your armour and blows up every flaw x 10000000 times. So in summary…kids will probably lead you to distrust and possibly hate large chunks of who you are and why you made the choices you did. Go for it, but if you get a tough gig like I did, prepare to have to get to know, and like, yourself…ALL OVER AGAIN EXACTLY AS YOU DID WHEN YOU WERE A HORMONAL TEENAGER BUT WITH ZERO TIME TO YOURSELF AND TO RECOVER.

Flat-out-tired 9 months ago

I really needed to read this, right now, this morning, after having a colossal meltdown. I have 3 girls, 13, 9, and 8 months. Yes, I know, wtf was I thinking spreading them out like that?? 33 years, 33 years is how long I would have been actively raising girls by the time Em is 18. – not counting any time they may spend as adults bouncing back. I am not even 33 years old yet!!!! I admit I lose my temper. And often. I get so tired of saying the same damn things over and over and over again. Like some insane broken record. Clean up your mess, do you have clean school clothes for tomorrow? No? Wash some! Put your clean clothes in the drawer not on the floor, wash your hair, comb your hair, brush your teeth, and forget about making beds or anything that isn’t necessary for survival. The 9 year old is the biggest problem child. Hell, the baby is better behaved than her. I love this child and she is literally a mini version of me, but she makes me BONKERS! I can’t get her to cooperate for more than a day in a row. She is inconsiderate of everyone around her, cares less about her appearance so I am constantly having to make sure she is clean, has her glasses, hearing aids, backpack, head attached to her body. And when I have asked her politely and nicely 4 times and on the 5th I lose my head, she looks at me like I am the most hateful mother ever, and I feel like exactly that. I don’t ever want to lose my temper and yell. I only want to show all of my children love and affection and teach them. I dunno what I am doing most of the time. I love them all the same, but the older two are constantly bickering and arguing over the younger stealing her clothes, because she didn’t wash hers as directed. I know there are going to be people out there saying, “Why don’t you wash her laundry, yourself?” Well, because 1 I work full time financially supporting this family on my income alone, and I really don’t have time to take care of her responsibility, and 2 I don’t want her to grow up and be incapable of caring for herself. – Rant over.

Wendi 9 months ago

I have a one-year old, so I haven’t reached this stage yet. But I do have lots of nieces and nephews and an 18-year old sister who was born when I was in middle school. I spent most of my high school years screaming at her and, in some ways, I think it definitely prepared me for what’s to come. Yes, you’ve opened yourself up to criticism, but really you just opened up a door for millions of mothers to peek in and say, with great relief, “You too?” Thanks for sharing. You’re a good mama.

April Winder 9 months ago

You are not alone! I feel the EXACT same way! Much of the time I feel this way about my husband as well. You’s think I’m asking for the impossible and sometimes it feels impossible to me! Just two nights ago, the same thing happened. My husband decided to start lecturing our daughter (again) on how “when he was younger…he did all these chores around the house” Ugh! I got fed up with it and let him have it! If he wants his kids to do more then maybe he should lead by example and show them the way instead of just expecting them to be like him. Who do you think taught him how to do all that stuff? I know he didn’t just figure it out by himself! He had to have seen someone (Mother, brother, etc) do it. Anyway, rant done. Just know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I hear you loud and clear. There should be no shame in it. We do a lot as parents and sometimes we just lose it. It’s ok. Let your kids know you love them, you made a mistake and you’re sorry. They will learn from that admittance. That’s how you lead by example. No one is perfect. Keep the posts coming! I enjoyed this. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone.

Amber 9 months ago

Thank you for saying out loud what we as moms go thru. Being a mom is hard. We lose our shit once in a while. No one admits it though. But it’s the truth and if you don’t lose your shit once or twice- well then I guess I am a bad mom in your eyes!

Heather 9 months ago


chris aka monkey 9 months ago

i remember saying to my daughter pre her having kids “motherhood isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be” and her getting steaming mad, she now has 2 boys 11 months apart they are 1 and 2 and those words came out of her mouth recently i laughed and laughed and the truth be told her kids aren’t that bad xx

Keith Whitmore 9 months ago


It’s not just mothers. You would be surprised how many grandfathers & grandmothers do the same. My wife & I raised our granddaughter until she turned 13. Then she went to live with her mother in our other house which we own and only 3 houses away. But only after I built a room for the granddaughter in the cellar of that home. She lived with us for almost 12 years. We did it all, just lile you said. But, a lot of it fell on my shoulders as my wife worked & I was already retired. So I took her to & from school, to the doctors, to band you know the taxi routeen. I was the one who got her out of diapers the day I was changing her on the floor & managed to blow out my kneecap at the same time. I told her, that’s it! No more diapers!! And, t after doing a lot of screaming, groaning & tearing up as i pushed my kneecap back in place. As it was that diaper change was the hair of the camel. I hurt my knees plenty of times at work, but it was that day & that time for it to finally go out of place. And, not long after that happened I retired.

Nicole 9 months ago

I am so thankful for you sharing this,ths is the story of my life, it relates to me in every way possible, I’m so glad to see I’m not alone and these stories really help me see that

Melissa 9 months ago

Thank you.
You just described every day in my house and my feelings during those anything-but-rare moments.
You most certainly are not alone.

Burnsyboo 9 months ago

Thank you thank you and thank you for articulating what most either deny or will not acknowledge when it comes to motherhood. Learning to embrace my truth and acknowledge that it is what it is! Some days I am able to hold it together while other days it is safer for EVERYONE in my house to RUN! SARY MOMMY is awesome site, keep the articles coming!

Selena 9 months ago

unfortunately, sometimes the girl just joins in the burping, farting, etc 😉 WE have a blended family of 7. 4 boys, 3 girls. The boys whine and cry, the girls burp and fart… the girls cry and get frumpy, the boys get attitudey… its all a matter of same shit, different kid 😉 My boys are wonderful, my girls are fantastic. And sometimes I just want a massage, a nap, and a vacation, for 1 😉

Ashley 9 months ago

i so feel this way. I’m a sahm and my husband always treats me inferior because I don’t have a job. Even tho I do everything at home, I do it all for the kids. Don’t get me wronghe loves me and he always tries to please me in whatever way I want. But some days I feel like he has it better off he comes home from work almost everyday at 9 so I’m the one always dealing with my 4 year old and my 4 month old. So this morning the baby starts whining for milk , we are asleep and he tells me babe get him I need the rest. Like what I don’t need the damn rest! I felt and feel so damn upset. I’m tired of feeling unappreciated just because I’m not the one making the money. What about everything I do at home, everything I do for the kids! It’s that just pointless? I hate that.. Ugh thanks for a little laugh and for making me feel less alone in this mommy world..

Chrystal Smith 9 months ago

Love this page. It speaks the truth, no one needs to sugar coat it %100 of the time. I LOVE my kids but they know how to push buttons. I know too that I will miss and long for these days, BUT still sucks to deal with the bs on days when youv just had enough.

Nazley 9 months ago

Found myself relate to this article 100%. I feel the same way. You give and give and give…and whats left over?
Love this piece.

Tonya 9 months ago

Thank you for making me feel normal! I now know I am not alone! Being a mother is not all roses as some like to pretend it is! Chin up momma and thanks for sharing! You have made us all feel better and let us know we are not alone!!

Kristen Reidy Fillie 9 months ago

Sing it, Sistah.

Shalon Goodwin Bull 9 months ago

Love this!

Gianina Presutti Findley 9 months ago

Omg. This. I so needed this today. Took the words right out of my mouth.

Nicole Marie Winborn 9 months ago

My 11 year old was being a drama queen yesterday when I took her cell phone… I must’ve blacked out and apparently said bish if you roll your eyes one more gd time I’m going to flush your iPhone down the toilet.. Heaven help me. Lol and yes i said bish. At least I controlled that , just not the gd.

Stephanie Mitrano 9 months ago

You are not alone. And thank you for showing me that I’m not, either. Stay strong, this too shall pass!

Lynn 9 months ago

thank you a million times! This is how I feel so much of the time. It feels amazing to not be alone in this . My husband travels more than he’s home and it is exhausting being “on” 24/7 for everyone . Your tank gets empty and it’s hard to refill when you’re all alone. Thank you for this

Claire Prescott 9 months ago

Love this…

Kirby Dufour 9 months ago

Any mother that claimes she’s never “lost it” is full of crap! Lol

Sarah Parkhurst 9 months ago

THANK GOD for this post!

lyssa 9 months ago

I feel the exact same way and have felt like a terrible mother because most of the time i dont see the wonderful side of being a stay at home mom. I have felt like it was just me. That i wasnt fit to be a mom. Thank you so much for saying what ive been feeling and letting me know that i am not alone

Hillary 9 months ago

Because we live in a society taught by progressives that say you can have your cake and eat it, too. Plus, there’s always taxpayer-funded entitlements in the form of emotionless guilt-free abortions, or welfare.

Hillary 9 months ago

So, then, why don’t people use birth control?

Deanne Bormann Schwarz 9 months ago

Thank you for the truth in parenting.

Carrie Baker 9 months ago

His scares me a bit can’t lie. It’s also what I thought it might be like in the future..

ThatGuy 9 months ago

If you don’t want that responsibility then don’t have sex. Plain and simple. This reminds me of what it would be like to hear someone in the military complaining about enrolling….oh but wait, they knew the danger so THEY HAVE NO RIGHT to complain. Quit batching and maybe next time keep the legs shut.

Hanging in 9 months ago

WELL SAID. I struggle everyday with my 9 and 10 yr (10 yr old has autism and oppositional defiance) Some days I just want to let them do whatever they want so there is no fight. But then I lose and they become ill mannered children. Which is never good as they grow up

Elly 9 months ago

I AM NOT ALONE IN THE WORLD! Yes I did shout that, yes I feel the same and I could NOT feel more of a big fat fucking failure as a mother right now. Thank you for making me feel normal again xxx

Alicia Capozzi 9 months ago

Aww. I only feel like that 5 days a week. The other days the 3 of them are at their dad’s.

Sara Keefer 9 months ago

I can totally relate to this one!

Angela 9 months ago

been there….done that….hang in there and know this-you are not alone!

Kirsten Sperlik Battaglia 9 months ago

Sing it sister! Cooperation is what I would love too! Sometimes I feel like my life is a game of Survivor and currently the kids are outwitting, outlasting and outplaying me. Also, this is why women need to stop cutting each other down and start supporting each other. Motherhood is not perfect let’s stop trying to pretend it is!

Jamie Williams Hailey 9 months ago

Nothing but truth.

Candice Auger 9 months ago

I feel like this often as well and while I love my son with every fiber of me there are times when it’s so hard. I love that this post is so truthful and honest and not sugar coated with false parenthood :)

Steph McManus 9 months ago

From going from a 60hr work week to stay at home mum I find it bloody hard and very taxing. Motherhood in general is hard but I must say biting you tongue and not been able to detach from your kids like you can with other people kids makes it harder cause it has more weight and more responsibility. Well done for putting it out there!!! And as you can see you are not alone :-)

Becky Winch 9 months ago

No judgement from ME!! You are right! Motherhood is an exhausting job…..mentally, physically, emotionally……we all have those days (thankfully few and far between) when you JUST have no more to give and a rant ensues from something as small as an 8 yr old who refuses to listen. My children are now 20, 16 and 13. It doesn’t get easier. But you WILL miss these days of chaos and I promise you when they have their own lives and they only want you around to feed them, you will long for the days when their world revolves around YOU! I miss it everyday! Cherish them while they are babies.

Jennifer Dornback 9 months ago

Preach it!!!

Erica Newborn 9 months ago
Laura Clark 9 months ago

“Emotionally taxing.” I LOVE that. So bloody true. That is EXACTLY why being a parent is such hard work – it’s so exhausting to have your emotions stretched and flipped and toyed with constantly. Thanks for this post x

Sascha Wagner 9 months ago

I seriously love this.

Kimberly Lopez 9 months ago

It’s no cake walk… that’s for damn sure

Angela Hawley 9 months ago

Save it for some thing pretty big because its drastic. You can take away “stuff” all day long. But the door… That really was effective . She was then ‘forced ‘ sort of by necessity to interact with her family in a less hostile manner. And if she thinks it sucked for her… It was no picnic for mom either!!

Mary Sullivan 9 months ago

If I could like this 1,000 times I would

Karen 9 months ago

8 is young for that behavior, but OMG I was totally that little brat when I was 13. Slamming doors, screaming, arguing. Arguing like nobody’s business until I got my way. (I went on to an extremely successful career in sales….LOL)
My mother told me she hoped I had a daughter just like myself. When I was pregnant I made her swear to reverse that curse, I could not have dealt with a tween like the one I was….

Jessica 9 months ago

I had such a horrible day. Thank you for this.

Haley Conner 9 months ago

Because working a 12 hr ER shift is less stressful than being a single parent…Yes!!

Dawn Becker 9 months ago

This makes me feel human. Thank god someone else out there has yelled what I have yelled and felt whay I have felt! Lol….. Thank goodness I found your page!

Anna Scott 9 months ago

I love this post I’ve been feeling that alot lately

Season 9 months ago

Absolutely! And then when you finally let a little bit of the frustration slip, it gets blamed on pms and you get told to chill. Haa!

Lace 9 months ago

God bless you. I’ve been losing my freaking mind wondering why all the other moms are pretending this shit doesn’t happen! Why are we not helping each other out by first being honest? This is so me! It IS fulfilling at times, but most of the time it’s so damn hard!!!!! But mostly hard because I condemn myself for being the only mother in the world who must feel this way! So thank you, thank you!!!

Melissa Chris Childers 9 months ago

Well said!

Rebecca Hensley Shelton 9 months ago

OMG that is so me everyday! I feel your pain!

E.G. 9 months ago

Why is “losing your shit” as a parent so terrible? Of course, if this type of chaotic parenting is a regular, every day thing then that is definitely not going to get you very far. But if an isolated blow up is enough to have your kids take notice and instills just a bit of fear in them, then I support that. In the end, it is definitely not about having your kids fear you but much more about having them respect your rules.

I respected my parents growing up, but much of that respect was rooted in the fact that I knew if i screwed up, there would be consequences. So, in turn, that fear of having a favorite toy taken away, being grounded or, in some instances, receiving a good old-fashioned yelling or spanking kept me from acting out too much.

There is nothing to feel ashamed about regarding a rare aggressive reaction after you’ve been pushed too far. The true shame should be felt if this is how you react to your children every day, since that will do way more harm than good.

Sue Jones 9 months ago

I’ve only got 2 kids, but let me tell you that this is EXACTLY how I’ve been feeling. Thanks for posting!

Janet Scheller 9 months ago

This feels like it was written just for me!

Krystyn Leigh 9 months ago

I’ve taken off the door too, in the middle of the night.
The one that pushes me over the edge is being outright ignored. That’s when I lose it with “YOU OBVIOUSLY CAN’T HEAR ME SO I HAVE TO SCREAM!!!”

Melanie Manning Gil 9 months ago

This story seriously hits home with me, it’s like you are living my life. Thank you for freely expressing what I feel and experience on a daily basis.

Meg Davis 9 months ago

I told my kids and husband today that I was resigning

Haley MacDonald 9 months ago

My mom was like this on a DAILY basis (mostly) with myself and the other kids, but that was all. The screaming, yelling, impatience and “losing control”. To this day she still has the “We owe her, I helped raise you attitude. The difference is this mother can see the silver lining and blessings of children even on a really bad day. My mother had never been able to with her mental illness. Its not fun. At thirty I still have a tiny expectation that one day she resemble a normal mother but I’m disappointed every time. Do I expect something similar when my 3 girls are older? Yup absolutely, I’M HUMAN, however that being said this post truly just how muchI will going to not repeat the same mistakes my mother made, I’ll make my own but hopefully not so many my children will continue to resent me as an adult. Obviously I’m still working on my issues with her and trying to set healthy boundaries.

Stephanie Israelstam 9 months ago

Wow, I feel like I wrote this myself. Thanks for making me feel better about being a human being.

Brooke 9 months ago

ahhhh!!!! So my life!!! You are not alone!! I am there everyday with my 3 kiddos! I feel like all I did a yell or it’s the only way to get my point across. Thank you for your honesty and keepin it real!

Kathryn Hodges 9 months ago

My kid is 4 mo so not quite there yet but I feel u I don’t need awards or bonuses etc I just want a little bit of gratitude

Luci Johnson Craig Grubbs 9 months ago

I think it is extra hard when I forget the last incident and foolishly take them in public again. I am “that mother” freaking out on my 7 y.o. for running off as the 3 y.o. decides to to bolt in the middle of a packed trampoline play yard. Piece o’cake.

Melissa Repsa Stardy 9 months ago

You are not alone….

Jennifer Parker Pantalone 9 months ago

Bahahahaha!! Exactly!!!

Michelle Grover 9 months ago

This resonates so well with me! Words could have come from my own mouth!

Laurie McKenzie 9 months ago

Love this.

Crystal Askvig 9 months ago

This was the first post id ever read on SM. I’ve been addicted ever since!!

Sarah Cedar 9 months ago

By far my favorite of the year. I just read it out to my family again (omitting the swear words of course) and nobody even listened. Seriously people.Right now I’m trying to get my kids to get all their shit out of the living room. It’s just not happening. Probably gonna snap soon and go scary mommy on them.

Kelly Mitch Norton 9 months ago

Some of you treat your kids like slaves and possessions: “Its MY kid, MY door, MY house”.
Just remember whose going to decide your nursing home someday.

Elaine McEnroy 9 months ago

Usually when we have the courage to share our “worst” weaknesses with others – it creates more of a oneness than aloneness! Everyone reading it has a sigh of relief – “phew it isn’t just me!” then you having braved the fear guilt and judgement – get to sigh with relief that your not alone! Great deal!
Isn’t it strange tho – how I can be full of compassion and understanding for you – but would continue to beat myself up and feel guilty for days when it’s me!
Ok – we mess up – but what do we tell our kids when they mess up – hey its ok to get it wrong – your just learning – your trying!
So mamas let’s practice some patience and tolerance and compassion with ourselves!
Yay!! Mamas – we are so not alone!!! Xxx

Misty Jenkins 9 months ago

Spot on, I myself raged out yesterday over arguments ensued by the Wii U, 3 kids, often at my eldest who doesnt always deserve it but she is the oldest and should know better, and often also has my attitude lol….drives me crazy, but I love them all none the less their behavior is all my own doing so obviously changes need to happen, and soon before I throw away everything in my house lmao….dishes, laundry, toys, and especially video games….yikes!!

Julie Davidson 9 months ago

Horrible photo. Very inappropriate. Unfollowing.

Catrina Lopez 9 months ago

No, it’s HER door, in HER house, where she raises HER child…

Baith Khan 9 months ago

Jeez how many kids does this woman have?

Sharon Moore 9 months ago

But 7 kids. Damn

Andrea 9 months ago

Thank you! I needed to read this. I really feel like there’s something wrong with me when I read any article that says “we all lose it on our children from time to time…” Really? That infrequently huh? Every fuckin’ day in my world man! I suppose one should operationally define “lose it”. I don’t drop too many curse words all the time…but voices raised, threats (of consequences not bodily harm of course…I do have some restraint) and bribes is all I have in my parenting tool bag. I think every parent needs a prescription for Xanax. Ok. That is all. Thanks again for the soul nurturing validation.

Eve Cotterill Iliff 9 months ago

So true!

Angela Hawley 9 months ago

I have REMOVED the door , as in dad takes it off and you EARN it back … Because a 14 year old needs to learn ( yep, even the hard way) in the real world ( of work and life) door slamming in the face is not now , nor is ever gonna be acceptable. And it’s my house , it’s my door. Lol

Heather Hart Davis 9 months ago

You aren’t alone. Sometimes I feel like the worlds worst mother.

Becky Durkee 9 months ago

1000x yes!

Debbie Boothe 9 months ago

Sounds about right

Brandi Banning 9 months ago

2 words. Winter break.

Aimee Jackson 9 months ago

Not alone on this one!!

Rochelle Maxfield 9 months ago

Crying as I read this as I can soooooooooo relate. I have 4 kids and this is an almost everyday thing. Thank you for sharing as I don’t feel so alone in this journey of parenthood

Cyndi 9 months ago

Thank you Thank you!! For sharing my dirty little secret:p I yell at my kids and swear too. I am not proud of it. I do feel under appreciated and it’s a breath of fresh air to know other families are going through it too. So here’s to another bump in the road that too shall pass (really fast I hope)!

Erin Anderson Murray 9 months ago

My 2-year-old had me completely unwound a few weeks ago. I’m talking screaming, crying, door slamming…and that was just me. No one is alone in this feeling! Kids aren’t perfect. Motherhood isn’t perfect. And damn it, sometimes it all downright sucks. But it’s worth it…sometimes.

Jessie Dodson 9 months ago

This. I’ve totally been there. A lot. 3 kids 5 and under makes me question my sanity regularly.

Sandra Heaton 9 months ago

Oh how I can completely relate to this! I read this to my husband and asked him if it sounded familiar. His response was “Very!”
I got to this “over the edge” point two weeks ago with my 11yr old. I even told him that I give up and sat in my room long enough to decide that I needed to get myself out of the house to calm myself down. Thankfully my husband was home so I was able to get out for a couple of hours. I eventually came home and talked with my son and I’m hoping we came to an understanding.
It’s sooo comforting to know that I’m not the only one that is pushed over the edge like that.

Jill Savage 9 months ago

Absolutely… Don’t be ashamed !! Just when I thought mine were gone…I’m raising someone else’s too now. I have to SNAP every so often or go insane!

Jackie Page Scrivner 9 months ago

I love this!

Aimie Dempsey 9 months ago

I have totally been there. Some days, Mommy just loses it. And my kids know….When Mommy loses it and cries because of the lack of appreciation or help, they do the right thing. We’re all there whether we admit it or not. Some days, the straw brings us down.
Thank you for bringing this to the forefront, this and all your other blogs. :)
It reminds me that I’m not alone.
So thank you, for being a Mom, just like so many of us.

Becky Whitton 9 months ago

I so feel u on this one today. My son woke up at 4freaking30 this morning. I was so mad & screamed & yelled at him. He’s only one & a half, he can’t tell time. I was just so mad it was so early. I felt like the worst mom in the world & told him i was sry so many times. Its good to know I’m not the only one was loses it with my child over something so small sometimes. I really needed to read this today. Thank u hun

Gina Nicklow 9 months ago

I needed this tonight , thank you!! ❤️❤️

Ayesha Herb 9 months ago

Well it’s nice to hear someone say the words that are in my head. Thank you for posting it because it makes the rest of us feel we are not alone. I think so many parents can relate.

Jennifer Mourikis 9 months ago

I can’t raise my fist high enough, nor shout “YESSSSS!” loud enough…it’s not just me!!

lisa 9 months ago

it seems like I am there every day of my life

Maggie Lou 9 months ago

You just described my day today! Definitely not alone!

Bry D 9 months ago

Holy crap, this is so me. I have an epic meltdown at least once a week. I have 3 girls, and my oldest pushes my buttons CONSTANTLY. Some days I just pray for a little appreciation as a Mom. I don’t want a medal, but a please and thank you would be wonderful. Glad I’m not the only Mom out there who can relate.

Yolie 9 months ago

THIS IS THE SINGLE GREATEST THING I’VE READ IN A WHILE! I had one of these moments yesterday….. goodness how much I appreciate hearing I’m not alone in this. THANK YOU

Angie Shoemaker 9 months ago

Boy do I identify with this right now!

Ellie Humphris 9 months ago

Am a serving police officer and quite honestly would rather be at work dealing with the other side of humanity than the (sometimes) shit I put up with at home!
I think being a parent is the hardest job in the world! (And yes, the most rewarding, fun, exciting adventure too!)

January Woodard 9 months ago

I’m telling ya. Cheers.

Rebekah Blackwood-Maynard 9 months ago

So it’s not just me!!! Lol.

Kym Snider 9 months ago

I definitely can relate! I just lost it on mine about a half hour ago because bedtime routine took over an hour tonight because they all wanted to completely ignore me and do as they please!

Mandi McCauley 9 months ago

I swear it was like you were just inside my head….nicely written.

Julianne Elizabeth 9 months ago

Today a similar scenario played out. I told my husband in hushed words that I’m done, I can’t do this. Sometimes these amazing creatures that I created just send me over the edge. The edge of sanity, wanting to run away, like a movie star in a convertible driving off into the dusty sunset. I want to say fuck it I quit.
My daughters almost 10 and I know it’s going to get worse before better. But I also know that the emense love and joy these nuggets of crazy bring me will ALWAYS out weigh the craziness. I hold tight to the idea that we will all pull through…

Katy Basten 9 months ago

This is honest and heartfelt and genuine. Thanks for putting into words how I fee most days.

Carrie Berg-Cook 9 months ago

All the time. All the time.

Melanie Saffell 9 months ago

Sadly, my. 8 year old read the headline and said “yeah it is”… Not encouraging.

Kaori Brahna 9 months ago

You are most definitely NOT alone. Been right there with you.

April Soldano 9 months ago

LOL So on the money!!

Aimee Agderian 9 months ago

Yes yes yes!!!!!

Jessica Martinez 9 months ago

It’s funny cause it’s true! It’s so good to know there are other moms out there feeling the same way.

Julie Rohner 9 months ago


Elizabeth Errante 9 months ago

Yes! I feel like this quite often. ..too often:(

Tammy Shiflett Tallent 9 months ago

Definitely touches a nerve.. We have all been there. I’m there quite often (and lose it quite often!) Thanks for putting it into words…

Melissa Shipe 9 months ago

Brilliantly said…

Marsena 9 months ago

I completely understand where you’re coming from. I’m a mom of 5 kids and their ages are from 16 – 2 years old. I swear I really don’t know which age is worse. It just feels like everything you ask of them always ends up turning into war.

Frances 9 months ago

Omggggggg this is so me with my girls. Respect and appreciation is a big problem I face daily in my home, not to mention the back talking ughhughhhh they just can’t stand not getting the last word in. It’s like they love to make me Bat Shit Crazy and yell at them lol KIDS are definitely giving us a run for our money and a Big Fat Fuck you. Now I know why some animals eat their young hahaha

Ann 10 months ago

And while your raising the kids mostly by yourself your husband is going to work eyeballing the secretary and will eventually cheat on you because your too tired to have sex

mary 10 months ago

The “idea” of the family meetings and getting the husband “on board” are extremely excellent “ideas.” I wish everyone “did” that concerning the family.

Also, having each family member express their “views and ideas” is great too!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and views on this most important subject/topic !!!!

Wendy 10 months ago

I have 2, raised 11 more boys at various times. Other peoples kids. Why? Because they couldn’t fucking handle it. Parenting sucks, a lot. But someone has to be the glue. Good for my you for not holding back how you feel. I have been there and will again, I’m sure. Being a mom is the most thankless job a person can have. Keep your chin up. Enjoy the hell out of them. Secretly have a calendar that keeps track of each kids Senior graduation and college start dates. Do what you have to so you can get through each day.

Kay 10 months ago

I’ve just had one of those moments! And trust me its not the first time! Sometimes I think to myself can I really do this for 15 more years? I hear other moms talk about how sad they will be when their kids are grown and off on their own. How quiet and clean their house will be. And I’m thinking “omg I can’t wait” theh of course when everything settles down I feel so bad about it.

Gina 10 months ago

I’m sure you have a camera in my house and this is spookily about me. Weird. Don’t worry, I fuck up regularly, it’s what you do the rest of the time that matters.

kerry 10 months ago

Thank you SO much for being so brutally frank. Thank you for reminding me I’m not the only mum who occasionally loses her shit and scares the living daylights out of her child. I love these articles.

Lara 10 months ago

Wow, thank you for saying what you’re all thinking!

Tiffany Johnson 10 months ago

THANK YOU!! Thank you so much for writing how it really is sometimes, a lot of times for me! Parenting is really hard and I am constantly feeling the “Fuck you”!!

Shawn 10 months ago

Yes kids test the boundaries and yes it is healthy for them to do so, but kids also need the security of knowing what boundaries are there for and that those boundaries will be enforced. She was right in sending her daughter to her room, there are many things out there that younger children should not be exposed to, things that can emotionally traumatize them, desensitize them from other’s needs or values. Just because it is alright for one child does not make it alright for all. Maybe we should just let them run out into the roads without teaching them to look both ways, so what if they get hit by a car, they’ll learn then won’t they? Get a grip, kids need rules and boundaries as well as they need to learn consequences before worst comes to worst. Lucky child you were.

Shawn 10 months ago

Amen and pass the tequila. I gave birth to 3 boys, fostered 4 more. The fact that the last one is 16 and has survived this long is a testament to the fact that the others drove me over the bend and I just don’t have the energy, emotional or physical, to take him out. Don’t get me wrong, I’d do it all again, every freaking step, I just don’t know why…. I am completely convinced that I passed crazy 2 decades ago and I am coming around the bend for a second trip.

Jessica 10 months ago

Ive been there and I can relate 100% to what she’s getting at! I’ve lost it on my kids too and maybe went off too much or too long, but we tend to build up our frustrations with our kids until we just can’t anymore. Doesn’t mean we’re not good parents, but we’re also not perfect.

Holli Fedewa 10 months ago

I had the worst day today. I can not even believe it. I usually appear quite put together I would say. Not today. I reached out to my friend and she suggested I read your blog. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for putting it out there and being so honest. This is bullshit sometimes and it is nice to see somewhat call it what it is. I big fat job of bullshit. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a Mommy, I love my kids and my bullshit of a husband (I say sarcastically). You make me laugh and you literally just took all of my “Mother” guilt away for the day…so for that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. And…I think I love you! It was a really bad day.,

Amber 10 months ago

Perhaps you should look for a scarydaddy website if you’re not interested in articles geared towards moms. Its a blog, they can write about whatever they want to!

amber 10 months ago

You took the words right out of my mouth, insert my children’s names and you got it. Thankyou so much for sharing like you did. It feels good to relate with someone on the parts of ourselves that we really don’t want anyone seeing or hearing hope you have an awesome day!!

Jodie 10 months ago

I am so happy to know I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE! I love my kids with everything that I am, but gees- I totally go through the same thing. They are amazing and incredible…. my hubs is awesome, but Oh My Gosh….. just ask them to do ANYTHING and it is like pulling teeth. Luckily, I do have a husband who is on top of things, we are a pretty good team…. but there are those days.
No judgement!! Thank you for sharing.

Dawn 10 months ago

That is seriously a lame comment. This is a friggan blog.. it CAN be all of those things. Who are you to tell someone else what to write about? Sounds like daddy needs a nap.

Mel 10 months ago

I have two sons. 11 and 15. My 11 yo has autism and I find myself arguing/defending myself more with my 15 yo about how I’m parenting my 11 yo. So as I’m trying to calm the melt-downs of my younger son, my older son will make comments like, “You’re not being strict enough with him. So that’s how you parent?” I have to admit, I lose my shit sometimes and then feel horrible. I always thought that he was just challenging me because I’m a single mom and he’s in that awkward place in life where he thinks he’s an adult. But I guess everyone has those thankless moments.
Thanks for the article and helping us all remember we’re not alone in this.

Kimberly 10 months ago

Just discovered you this morning when my sis shared your Taylor Swift parody. Thank you so much for telling it like it is. Everyday I think to myself, “Am I the only one screaming at my kids?” All these other moms seem so full of sunshine. So nice to know that I am not alone. No criticism out of this mommy. :)

Tamra 10 months ago

Girls and puberty? I have a 10 year old daughter and a 12 year old Autistic son going thru puberty. Its a serious bitch! Poor kid doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. We are all just barely hanging in there.

L. Wie 10 months ago

1. Self-care :: take care of your self. These posts that I’ve read where people can’t even get out of bed, are taking pills, nobody cares, you’re consumed by guilt etc. etc. are very concerning to me and I hope and pray that you dear people PLEASE GET HELP. Please look up mental health services in your community NOW. You deserve it!! You deserve it. You do.

If you’re more in the bell curve, and these blow-ups happen more frequently than you’d like, it’s not too late. It never is too late. So being a mom isn’t working out like we thought it would. Hell yeah, it’s tough. But here’s the thing: we can’t give our kids what we ourselves do not have. For most of us, that’s discipline. (For the record, I’m not talking about the kind of discipline that 70s Dad somewhere above mentioned – mercy me, no.) I’m talking about the ability to maintain self-restraint in our words and actions in spite of our environmental conditions. We have to model that for our kids. It. Is. Daily. Work. It’s harder than training for a marathon (I’m assuming here – ha!). The only way you can choose between snapping and taking a deep breath to calm down is practice. Daily practice. Daily time for your self spent relaxing and unwinding. Not zoning out (with electronics). Just 5 minutes breathing and relaxing your muscles. 1 minute.

Why? “The example we set for our kids – how we react when things don’t go our way – is much, much more important than the rules we set for them.” – Leo Babauta

2. Unplug. :: Kids don’t need to watch TV before school. It’s obviously not working out as a sanity-saver as much as it is a powder keg, so just unplug it. Problem solved. And IMHO, kids should be working for time to enjoy their electronics. It’s a privilege, not a right. You want it, you work for it. One minute = one minute. Yeah, I said it!

3. Forgive. Forgive your parents. Forgive your kids. Forgive yourself. Daily. Shit happens. Apologize for your shit and move on. Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. Sometimes it’s easier to forgive others (in much the same way that it’s easier to judge others), which is exactly why we should do the hard work to forgive ourselves. It’s the path to peace.

4. Get moving. Seriously, I’m one to talk. I struggle with dragging my a$$ out to run, but it really is the best stress buster. No excuses! I’ve got a million and they’re all worthless. Endorphins, baby! Kids bickering? Make them run the block. They’ll pack it up fast.

5. I’m not saying all of this because I know it all. I have 2 kids who I have yelled at in a fit (or two or five or ahem) of frustration & anger because they ONCE AGAIN were not doing what I had asked them to – then I saw the looks on their scared little faces and I literally fell onto my knees crying and telling them I’m sorry and that I was having a hard time working with my feelings. (Lesson: when I lose it, it’s about ME.) Raging at our kids leaves scars. Several people have attested to that. I just knew that I had to do better by my kids. I had to start holding the line with patience, build my own fortitude, be the discipline I wished to see in them. I’m not there yet, but having a vision of the kind of mother I want to be and working to bring it to life daily IS the point. For me. My mom never raised her voice very loud and yet she was still tough and loving. I have no idea what happened with me that I became OK with yelling.

I wish all of you all the best! Here’s hoping that the big fat fuck you can be transformed into the big fat “I love you, Mom. Thanks for everything.” And seriously, if you are having more than a hard time, please seek help. It’s out there and I’m rooting for you. You deserve it.

Jess 10 months ago

I really needed to see this today! Sometimes nothing helps more than to know I’m not the only one. I feel so unappreciated most days that reading your words really made me feel less alone in this stay at home mom world. Thanks!!

April 10 months ago

“If your comment doesn’t add to the conversation in a positive or constructive way, please rethink submitting it.”

Translation: If you don’t agree with the article, your comment will be deleted even if it wasn’t a nasty comment. Got it.

Ina 10 months ago

Omg!!!!! I would swear you were describing me.and my household. Im glad its not just me having meltdowns and trying to be a perfectionist…thanks for posting this!!

Jensee 10 months ago

I’ve been sitting here staring at the screen trying to come up with a better word than hypocrite (and pick my jaw up off the floor). You’re worried about them seeing smart aleck teenagers, but you yell, scream and curse in their presence? Not just in their presence, but you actually swear AT them?

So what exactly are you sheltering them from? You are the bad influence. You are the rotten role model. For heaven’s sake, let them watch the teens on TV. It’ll be a step up from the show they’re watching.

Jennifer 10 months ago

Do we live in the same house with the same little shits who are constantly whining, complaining, disobeying and destroying the house? Oh yeah, they ask me to buy something for them 100 times a day. I plead with them to earn it, at least pick up your toys and listen to me. Nope, that’s asking too much. I lose it and go off yelling and swearing. Then tears and “Mommy you’re scaring me” comes into play. Of course I’m full of regret and apologies essentially undermining the fact that they weren’t behaving the way they should. SMH!

Joe 10 months ago

i wonder if moms aren’t fighting what seems like a losing battle trying to raise the kids they hoped for and truly believed they would have when it came their turn to assume the title of mom.
As a man peering into this matronly world I can only think that it’s the reality of motherhood that is so drastically changed from the days of Leave it to Beaver, those days and times long gone by where about proper etticate and manners. There was a children where seen and not heard culture. Adults where authority figures not best buddies. Food was something that was on the table at a specific time of it wasn’t eaten then too bad, your hunger would be a very strong reminder to be sure to be there next time the table was set. I really don’t recall mom asking what I would would prefer see set before me. Don’t like what’s in front of you, hey maybe the next meal will be more to your liking. One thing that figured into what I’m saying is people of that generation remembered all too well what it was not to have as much as you wanted on the table, my mom talked of putting bacon grease on bread for a treat, getting an orange for Christmas because an uncle dropped off a bag of them to her family for Christmas. It was that or nothing. There were fifteen little mouths at the table, it was called a depression, they said mame, and sir. They had responsibilities from the time they could walk and talk, a household that size required everyone pulled their weight. No one ever talked of being bored, there just wasn’t time. They had fun, sledding and skiing, on borrowed or hand me down items.
If someone Got out of line pops had a big leather belt, and a size nine shoe. Guess what no one from social services showed up to question discininary practices, because once was enough usually to get the point firmly implanted for quite sometime.
Well you get the idea, normal then is far roved from the environment kids are raised in today. Yes, that age had its issues but what mothers taught their daughters about raising kids and disiplining, teaching personal responsibility, work ethic, and caring for others rights and concerns were values seldom at the top of the list seen in today’s world.
Moms never had a ladies night out, a trip to Vagas, don’t think so. They had their issues, discussed over the back yard clothes line, or a quick shot of coffee at the kitchen table. Moms day wasn’t easy but she felt it was worthwhile, who and what and how her kids behaved mattered. Families weren’t to be embarrassed.
So maybe there is no way to get back there unless as my dad used to say, what this country needs is another Great Depression because we knew who we where and really appreciated some very basic blessings and remembered who the were provided by.

Jane 10 months ago

I am so grateful for this article. I’ve been solo parenting for 5 months while my husband has been working out of state, and am so tired. It helps to know that I am not alone.

Janet 11 months ago

wow, this nailed it on the head. so much of this post was an exact representation of my daily struggle. thanks for posting this a reminding I’m not alone either

Laura 11 months ago

Thank you for posting. Seriously there are nights I cry myself to sleep because after working 9 hours commuting 2 and my husband leaving to work night shift because daycare is not affordable and having two children literally a year and 2 weeks apart I find myself loosing it. Seem’s like most people don’t understand and are constantly saying how I should be grateful. Well I’m grateful for my kids but sometimes its just so emotionally taxing you need someone to say what you said outloud to remind us mom’s its okay to have those days.

Maryann 11 months ago

You are quite a talented writer but your continual use of the “F” word in or at the end of each article is crude and unnecessary. Many young mothers follow you religiously. Is a foul-mouthed professional woman really the role model you want to be. Your messages are strong and clear. You don’t need the smut to make your point. It is not cute, edgy, or contemporary–merely cheap and annoying.

invisible 11 months ago

I find myself regularly saying things along the lines of “get your rude little ass upstairs now!” or ” are you fucking kidding me with this shit?!” Et etc

Loudly…angrily. ..I swear at my eight year old son way too much.
I hate myself for it and feel like the worst mother.

Im so right there with you sister

This is a fucking minefield of emotions

Melissa 11 months ago

i couldn’t have said it better. How about anticipating a need every once in a great while???? its like every day of their lives is the first day of their lives! you would think after 12 and 13 years they would know that showering and teeth brushing is an ordinary occurrence that they could do every once in a great while without my harassing them..maybe put a dish in the sink, maybe pick up a piece of clothing off of the floor..n

theguiltymomm 11 months ago

This is an amazing article and hit the mark perfectly. I love hearing the honesty from moms. I just recently started my own blog because I feel like these types of articles need to be shared with other moms. Having mommy guilt can just torment you as a mom. I figure instead of hiding the mommy guilt we should talk about it in a comfortable judgement free place. parts of this article seemed like you took the words right out of my mouth like:

“It’s because it’s so fucking emotionally taxing. It’s because it’s so incredibly thankless so much of the time. It’s because I feel like I’ve sacrificed so much of myself for them, and they don’t appreciate it. It’s because I do and do and do for them, constantly, and it often seems like all I get in return is complaining that it’s not enough – or just outright ignored. I’m not looking for accolades or awards or fanfare. I’m not even looking for “thank you.” It would just be nice to get a little cooperation.”

Great article. Will forward to looking at your blog

Jill 11 months ago

i applaud you for being so honest when so very many feel the same way but are too embarrassed or ashamed to admit! Thank you

Donna 11 months ago

Thank you for sharing. I am the mom of two girls, 16 and 12.5. I feel the exact same way you do. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone. Motherhood isn’t easy at all. As I am writing this, I have asked and told my 12.5 year old numerous times to clean up her mess in the living room. Has she? Nope, not one iota.

Alysia 11 months ago

Thank you for writing this with swear words and all. THANK YOU! It helps to know I am not the only one to lose it on the kids occasionally and makes me feel like maybe I’m not really a horrible mom because of it.

AYO 11 months ago

Had a morning like this today. Not proud of my behavior. Also not proud that I have to lose my shit for my family to notice that I need help. Guess what husband, I am 8 1/2 mos pregnant and I can’t reach the fucking floor. You explaining to me that she is 2.5 and will pull things out and put them on the floor doesn’t help. Just clean that shit up! You can reach the floor! And it isn’t like you’ve washed any baby clothes, done any laundry, gotten pumps sterilized or bottles or car seats installed by the fucking Chp. If you aren’t going to pitch in, at least make sure the shit I’ve done doesn’t get undone!

Mike 11 months ago

ur a fukcin btch lol u gt pwned

audrey 11 months ago

Amen Sister!!!!!!! Preach preach preach!!!! Thank you for this!!!!! I needed it today!!!!

Samantha Walker 11 months ago

You aren’t alone. I completely understand. I have 4 kids and a husband that works out of town all week. So I get it. I lost it the other day and still feel bad. I just said the othrr day that parenting is like blowing glass. Too much pressure and heat and the glass cracks. But not enough heat and pressure and it still cracks. Balance is key and also the most difficult. Being mothers doesn’t make us super heros ( I vote that it be changed and we all get capes). We are only human and like glass blowing it is sometimes the mistakes and flaws that make us a masterpiece.

Kelly 11 months ago

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! It is so nice to see and hear that I am not the only one who loses her ever loving mind. I have a 15 year old who has emotional problems thanks to her pos father, and an 11 girl and a 9 year old son whose father comes and goes. Yet he wants to put me down for how I lose it from time to time. Hello! It’s nice to know I am not alone in the not perfect Mommy role that everyone says we should be. Thank you for letting me know I am normal.

Chell 11 months ago

Thank you! Made me feel a lot better reading this, to know that I am not alone in my sometimes days of ranting and raving about the injustices of motherhood and parenting and jerk kids.

Josie Emmons 11 months ago

Jeez, you can see by the number of comments you have touched a raw never. Yes Yes and YES. It’s all true.

Ana Ng 11 months ago

uh, why was the remote control within their reach?

April 11 months ago

Thank you! This is how my weeks have been goimg lately with 3 children, 11, 4, &1 and my husband gone for 7 weeks. I love them but I would love the coopperation! Thanks for letting me know Im not alone!

Leslie 11 months ago


Mackenzie 11 months ago

Thank you for writing this!!!!
Mom of twins

hira 11 months ago

Thankyou for that. Knowing that everyone goes through the same thing is slightly comforting. The mommy explosion is usually over something small but is due to tolerating a tonne of shit all day. The highs and lows are very taxing. By the time my 4 r old enough to leave ill be too old and too drained to enjoy wat time ill hav left. Sobering to be honest.

Cindy 11 months ago

i have the same problem. My 10 year old son ignores me or cops an attitude With me often. I think it’s ok to go off now and then and let them know you’re human too. Moms always do for everyone without much thanks. Not that we want it but we don’t want ingratitude either. I remind him what I do for him and what he does in return. He usually gets it. And my husband is gone a lot and seems to be able to sleep or sit on the toilet for an hour whenever he feels like it. No guilt. No one bothers him. It’s hard being a mom. Not that I’d trade it for anything. I love my rotten boys. They just need reminding sometimes. If you just do and do and never say anything, then they just expect you to do everything always.

cippi 11 months ago

Your post (and this blog in general) seems to be discriminating against fathers. This doesn’t just happen to women. I am a divorced father of two girls. They try my patience every day but the joys far outweigh the grief. And my ex and I speak about issues and I can promise you that she struggles with lack of patience more than I do. This should be a “parenthood” blog post, not just a motherhood one. I am sure there are many men who go through similar experiences.

Aletha 11 months ago

Well said momma, truthfully we all as moms do this, trust me my husband works out of town and I’m now back to working full time i get off at two so I got plenty of time to do my motherly duties , but my four year old here lately has had such major tantrum breakdown fits over really nothing, a mom we all lose it too!

Nicola 11 months ago

Yes. EXACTLY! I often feel like NOT giving, NOT helping and NOT putting myself out for my kids if they cannot respond with basic courtesy.

Tania 11 months ago

Thank you so much for your story . I have lost it as well yelling that I’m going to run away to my husband and daughter. Then driving to work I feel guilty and have brought my daughter mcdonalds for lunch at school. Thank you for sharing your story. I do nt feel like a crazy anymore
.and I don’t feel alone. This was awesome.

Elaina 11 months ago

motherhood is like working for a boss who is never quite happy with the work you do.

rox 11 months ago

i am old now and my children (5) are grown and gone. I didn’t have time to read all your comments but I have a few suggestions you can accept or reject as you see fit – but they might make your life easier. Maybe others made them too

first natural consequences – cannot leave the channel alone? – no tv – really it is optional. Their other choice is everyone to sit in silence. Anytime channel is changed – say NOTHING – tv goes off and remote goes in mom’s pocket – remind them no talking allowed – walk away. be consistent – and they will get with the program – you might need to sit with them the first few times. If they still don’t get it remove the tv entirely.

bickering – all action stops until bickering stops – driving to store? – bickering starts – say NOTHING – pull of the road – get out LARGE book left in the car for this purpose – wait – explain first time – we can proceed when bickering stops (or……) Wait…… it will stop – they have less tolerance for boredom than you do.

consider negotiations: on daughter would ask (expect) me to do things for her all the time (drive her places – get her things) – all take no give – if I asked for anything it was the biggest deal (like cleaning her room) – so I explained it worked both ways – to get something she needed to participate. Driven to the friend’s house ? must fold towels put them away – started when she was about 9 and she learned she had to do more than receive – at 32 she is the most giving person I know.

It is essential that you don’t let the pressure build up til you lose your cool like that but it is a learning opportunity too – explain that is what happens when people get really frustrated and don’t express it for a long time. helps them understand their own anger and deal with it

on the locked door – it will happen again now she knows she can get your goat like that – remove the lock. She needs to get who is in charge – now or adolescence is going to be tough

I don’t believe in spanking or yelling (although I did yell a few times too) but firm rules applied consistently with no exceptions worked for me.

good luck with those kids

Ingrid 11 months ago

Yes, I remember the dreadful years with my teenage daughter, when we hated each other. But they do grow up (too fast) and can even become your best friends.
You have not experienced “emotionally taxing” until you lose that child and grieve for them the rest of your life.

Dawn 11 months ago

I have a 13 and 10 year old and let me tell you how much i love the hormones LOL NOT!! I think if we can just get through the teenage years and see what amazing girls we have produced will be well worth the fights and losing of our shit to get us though. My girls are much better than I was at their ages sooo… I think I must of did something kind of right anyways. Thank you for letting me know that i am not alone and my kids are generally normal hahahaha. Waiting patiently for adult years.

Tina 11 months ago

amen sista!! Mother’s curse on ALL of my children! Lol

Amanda 11 months ago

every mother out there can agree with you on this, I bet every single one has lost it at some point, even the ones who appear to have it all together. Knowing this doesn’t necessarily help though. I often think about the times my own mum lost it at me though, I know I was a spoilt brat who took her for granted… The beauty of it all is that man do I appreciate her now!!!! I know how much she gave up & how frustrated she must’ve been because I’m going through it now! I live in the knowledge that when my kids are grown with kids of their own, they’ll finally appreciate everything I did for them…. In the meantime, I may have aged 15 years in the short 6 that my boys have been around, but they are happy & healthy,

Shannon 11 months ago

That is exactly how I feel…a ‘thanks Mum’ every now and then would be great.

Kimmy 11 months ago

God bless us moms. I can tell u that my 3 sons are 20-22-25. And there are still times I want to rip my hair out . But know this , it gets a little easier and seriously can we ever imagine our lives without these PITA’s.

Carol 11 months ago

So… do we all have to agree with you 100% to “not be a dick” or can we (I) add some constructive and productive things that may help? (or may not.. lol).

Joann Dickenson 11 months ago

Amen sista!!! Brava ,well said!

M 11 months ago

Jennifer – your post about throwing out the shoes – I’m so sorry to laugh but I did laugh right out loud. Thank you for this. I thought I was the only one. I once pitched an mp3 player out the car window because I couldn’t handle one more millisecond of whining about it.

Alethea 11 months ago

I just want to say Thank you! As I was reading this, I swear it felt like I wrote it. Often times I find myself just throwing in the towel because I am so tired of fighting with my kids. I have 4 boys and a 1 year old girl and each one of my boys gives me a huge run for my money almost daily. The past year and a half has been the worst. They used to have such good manners, do their chores, homework was not a problem…now everything is a struggle for all of us. I have found its okay to lose it on occassion. Nothing is ever perfect, no one is perfect and being a mom is super hard!

Michele 11 months ago

I was exhausted every day from getting up at 6:00 am, get ready for work, get the kids to school, go to work, get the kids from day care, come home and make dinner. That did not include all of the other errands that needed done for being home room mother, buying clothes, bills, laundry, dishes, cleaning house and enrolling the kids in school and school programs and etc. The list always went on. Whewwwww!!! Motherhood goes on to adulthood by advising your children about their lives and grandkids. Our role as a mother never ends and seems unappreciated, but when my children did get older, they told me they were sorry for how they treated me at times. Kids know that they are wrong, but their stubbornness and age prevent them from acknowledging that fact. We, as adults, are told that we need to understand kids and become patient with them. No! We are only human and you have a right to blow up. Sometimes they actually listen when you do. Some of my friends children never come to that realization that you deserve respect. One day they will come to you and admit their faults and validate your feelings. Until then, blow all you want because respect ends up always being on the list of a mother’s duties.

Leah 11 months ago

Saw this posted by a friend of mine with a two year old.. I do not have any kids, although I find myself daydreaming about it. I think what she wrote was honest to the bone.. Social media allows mothers to post their best moments. Glorifying motherhood.. And no doubt it makes me feel like I’m missing out :( but I know it’s not all rainbows and sunshine, so I’m tickled to finally read something so raw and human. I still want to be a mother someday, regardless of the sacrifices.. I think also, for all the mothers out there- it took me moving away from my parents to really understand how blessed I am. That sounds horrible, but it’s true.. I appreciate them now, more than ever. Try taking your kids to volunteer at a shelter? Let them physically see how so many other people live in poverty & don’t have the little luxuries some of us are blessed with. A nice, warm bath.. So many people will never experience something like that.. The smell of fresh cookies in the oven.. A visit from Santa.. Not everyone is lucky enough to have those “little” things- I think it’s important to find a way to teach children about gratitude

Robert 11 months ago

My initial reaction would be, “wow, I can’t believe I am reading this!”. But note how I said “would be”…

After the first time of watching the kids while my wife left on a weekend trip to a retreat, I was pulling out my hair trying to control the kids, asking them to eat what I made, telling them to stop fighting, to pick up their mess, to stop crying, to PLEASE listen to me… You get the picture.

My wife became a Godess, a warrior and appreciated more than ever before when I became Mr. Mom for a weekend.

I salute ALL of you!!!

Kim 11 months ago

Thank YOU!!! I am normal – this just happened this morning in my house!!!!

Elizabeth 11 months ago

oh holy hell I have been there too many times to count. It’s like at 8 they forget to turn their ears on in the morning! My husband always asks me why I’m talking loud to the kids. I guess I feel if I’m almost screaming they will listen! Now at my first child being 10, my voice level is stuck at way too many decimals higher than normal! And for the husband who works so much to pay our bills, he looks at me after I have made a pile of three trash bags and asked him to take them to the dumpster…and says you want me to take ALL of that?! Are your fucking serious? Did you really just ask that stupid question?! So I pick all three bags up at once and March them down the stairs to the trash. I get back upstairs and he says… Well I was going to take it. Bull shit! And then I’m what he calls… Why do you always have to be so bitchy? Really..again another stupid question that will in turn make me bitchy! However then I feel bitchy because I just yelled at my ten year old for changing the channel and said horrible things that would not have been on the channel I didn’t want her to watch to see a bad example. But I was a worse example…her own mother. How I wish I could like you hold it together sometimes and be perfect. But like you I can’t. The being said I’m a great mommy and love being a great mommy! Sometimes being a mommy is a hard hard job! You’re not alone!

jesse 11 months ago

i know i am not a mother nor will ever be one but i am a son. i am now 21 years old and yes i do remember those terrifying time when we pushed mom to far but now that me and my siblings are older we realize how terrible we were to her, how many things she did without us knowing.It may seem like it will be an eternity but the respect will be shown (retroactively) to a good mom and from the sounds of your post you are a great mom. PS teach your kids how to give a good neck massage you’ll absolutely love it

Melissa 11 months ago

Oh My God!!! This is exactly my life!!!! I absolutely love this! I was completely cracking up the entire time I was reading!! You just made my morning!! So glad I’m not the only psycho who feels like this!!!!! 😀

Kristin 11 months ago

I really needed to read your article this morning. Thank you for bringing a small shred of sanity back to me. I’m not alone.

aloneaswell 11 months ago

OMG! If I don’t feel the same way you did all the dang time! You are human! We get frustrated just like everyone else, but because we are mom’s we aren’t supposed to show it. I call B.S. on that! Just because you had a breakdown doesn’t mean you are a bad parent. It means that you are tired of dealing with the same crap day in and day out. So kudos to you for sharing your story and making us other moms who have done this feel not so alone!

Stephanie Kennedy 11 months ago

I just stumbled across this blog this morning and let me tell you ladies it so refreshing to hear other mothers actually admit that being a mom although rewarding can suck and i am not the only one who flips out! I call parenting a love hate relationship not towards the children but the job in being a mother. It seems one minute the kids can be so darn cute and you can have so much time and other moments your like OMG what the hell is going on nothing is going right no one is listening or doing anything good behavioral wise. And im sure most of you do the same thing we flip out the kids go to bed you think oh man that was so horrible i am such a bad mom i could have handled that better that was so rude blah blah blah. Then the children wake up and again no one is listening no one is getting ready for school they are fighting with each other and once again you will be late and my favorite since they provide breakfast at my daughters before school care it is somehow my fault my child missed breakfast (granite i have breakfast bars on hand in the car when i know where running late) I turn to her and say um excuse me maybe if you would have done what i asked you when i asked it you could have had pancakes vs a cereal bar. I talk with other parents and so far what i have learned is it doesn’t matter the age of your child once one problem you have struggled with your child is defeated their is just a new one to fit the new age to take its place…….. Like the author i do not want a medal but it would be nice if kids could be a little more appreciative if how selfless we are when it comes to them.

Pat 11 months ago

I work with other peoples problem child in a residential setting. I get all of that and more from other peoples kids. Sadly we are not allowed to have a freak out..thank God for wine when we get

George the Dragonslayer 11 months ago

Well this will certainly be food for my own maturity and availability when my wife and I start having children…..

JLL 11 months ago

Love your brutal honesty. Awesome to know we’re all doing the best we can, but we fall short a lot, and yet we get back in the truck and drive that lunch to school! 😉

amber 11 months ago

I raised my two little sisters and now my daughter, we still live with my mom and sisters and recently i had a break down, i just started screaming and crying asking “why can you help me more?” they all started crying (including my little one) i felt bad and apologized and my little one kept saying she was sorry. Broke my heart but sometimes you just feel like the world is crashing around you and none of them care.

It has gotten better since then and my little one asks if im ok and i make sure to tell her i am and that i love her.

melissa 11 months ago

I have 2 girls 8 and 4. the 4 year old is a RED HEAD. That should explain it all. I lose it some of the time. And when I lose it, I lose it. I am trying to not lose it as often because I don’t want my girls to grow up and do the same thing when they have kids. There are times though that they make me crazy. The fighting, the telling on each other, the whining, the not wanting to pick up. It is mostly the 4 year old but at times the 8 year old can be a big tattle tale. The 4 year old is really my pain in the butt. I hate to say it but since so many people are confessing, there are times I wish I had just stuck to having one child. Does that make me a bad person? I am not sure. When it is just me and the 8 year old we have so much fun. We always have. She has always been easy. I tell her that she tricked us into having a second child because everything about her was easy. I can only hop and pray that my 4 year old will one day mellow out and start to give me a break.

alyssa 11 months ago

glad i wasnt the only one this morning .. how many times can you say “please put your shoes on” nicely and calm … i walk into the living room after brushing my teeth and still sitting on the floor w book in his hand with NO shoes on !!
I understand exactly where you are coming from. Being a single mother.. it can be extremely testy .. i use the “mommy is going to take a time out” usually … !!!!

Huskers 11 months ago

Trust me you are not alone. My husband is gone a lot and I have meltdowns like this a lot, not more than the good moments.
Getting some cooperation would help. My children do barely anything and when I ask them to put their laundry away that I washed and folded they throw a fit. There is so much to go off about when you do finally blow up and you do feel bad but why? Should you?
You are right, I have screamed and yelled, dropped them off at school and then turned right back around to take something to them at school because that is what mom does.
Hang in there you are not alone.

Donna 11 months ago

I could have written this article! I am so glad I am not the only one! I love my kids so much, but sometimes I feel like I am going insane! LOL!!

Caitlin 11 months ago

I have a 2 year old and a 9 month old. And yes while I’m relatively new to the mommy world, I already know I have a long, long road ahead of me. My 2 year old is the biggest drama queen ever. She already rolls her eyes at me and says “okay! Im coming! “. She is a total daddy’s girl and if daddy is around mommy doesn’t exist. Well about a week ago we were at an after church luncheon and she was flipping the hell out because she didn’t want to sit in the high chair. She wanted to sit with her “daaaaaaadddddddyyyyy”. She threw her plate in the Floor and screamed her head off. My mom kept telling me to give her cake to make her stop and I refused. We live within walking distance to our church so I threw my plate away snatched her up and hooded it home. I lost my shit yelling at her. I of course felt so bad after but It all boiled over. A mix of trying to potty train her and raising her sister too. And on top of it she never wants me. Only her daddy. It all came out at once. I said stuff I fully regret.

Lesley 11 months ago

Amen. Sometimes I feel like all I do is yell some days. All. Day. I look back on my day, wonder how I could have changed it… Nothing I could have done would have changed it. Sometimes, our kids are just little (I want to say assholes, but I think I’ll get hate comments, so I’ll say…) tyrants. I don’t feel so lonely anymore. The kids may not hear us, but we hear you! Vent away, sister!

sunshine43 11 months ago

this is amazing. i so appreciate your blog and i feel like this every day. it is so nice to hear that there are other mamas going through the same thing. thank you. thank you.

joe 11 months ago

Learn how to spank your kids, and you won’t have to repeat what you say! You are the reason they don’t listen to you. If there is no cost for making mistakes, they will be your nightmare, of your making!

Deanna 11 months ago

Thanks for reminding me that I am not a beast and just a Mom :)

Sam 11 months ago

I am so glad you posted this! I thought I was the only one that felt this way! Everything you said is so true!

Diana 11 months ago

Amen. Amen. Amen. Can I get a fucking amen? I am fond of telling my husband that if he treated me like the kids treat me, we’d be divorced in a heartbeat. Now he just started at me blankly because he doesn’t listen to a word I say either but still. These kids are tiny, abusive, drunk acting assholes when they’re bad and their favorite punching bag is me. And I love them! I still go to bed at night thankful I have them! What the hell is wrong with me??? Wait. Living with kids is like living in the 50 Shades of Grey red room of pain…without the orgasms. Someone get me a fucking tie, I’m going to tie myself to the bed and hope someone else makes dinner tonight.

Cat 11 months ago

Get rid of the tv.

Laura 11 months ago


In any other “job” this kind of treatment would be grounds for a lawsuit. Moms kick so much ass…we deserve more than one friggin’ holiday.

Hang in there! You’re definitely not alone.

Jen 11 months ago

You are definitely not alone! I had a very similar meltdown on Sunday with my two teenagers (13 and 15)!! It doesn’t make it any easier, but hearing that someone else is having a similar experience and reacting the same way does make me feel less crazy. Thank you for your honesty. In a world where social media only shows the happy snapshots of life and not the difficult days, it’s nice to read your blog and not feel alone.

Meg 11 months ago

Nobody’s perfect, momma. Maybe it wasn’t the best way to handle it, but we ALL get caught up in our emotions sometimes (including Mr. Perfect who commented above, whether he wants to admit it or not), and that doesn’t make us bad people or parents. Don’t beat yourself up.

Ian 11 months ago

Ummm …. if you don’t want your child changing the channels, why does that child have the remote control?

ltracey 11 months ago

My Mother is a Saint!!! She raised 12 girls and 3 boys !!! YES 15 children !! I don’t ever remember her “losing it” but she did have a mean wooden spoon!!!

Kristin 11 months ago

You’re not alone, Lisa! Thank you for making me feel like I’m not alone today and for having the courage to write this :-)

Deana 11 months ago

I have said those exact same words at least one hundred times. In regards to not being respected or appreciated for all I do. And the help? Never there, but they are always in need of something. I am raising 6 kids. Ages 15 down to almost 2. The older one’s do not necessarily help out. I love being a mother and the hugs you get as a mom when the kids are little mostly… utterly the best thing in the world. You can yell at them and they still give you love 10 minutes later. But the whining, crying, bickering, etc as they get older! As I talk to more moms I am learning more and more we are all battling the same war. I always think my sisters and I were better than this. But I’m sure my mother would say different. Enjoy the good days, do your best. You were given these children by God. You are raising them the best you can,may your reward be life in God’s kingdom where you can relax and enjoy those you loved so much here on earth. I hate the bumpy road we are on, pray for patience every day, and savor those good moments we have. Hang in there because one day you get to watch their children, your grandchildren, you will enjoy them and you get to send them home at the end of the day.

Melissa 11 months ago

Joe, the point is it wasn’t about the show–it was just the final straw. We do so much and feel like little things should be a given from our kids. They aren’t and it is frustrating. The important thiing about this is that feeling this way is not abnormal–we just have to work on our reactions. It can absolutely knock you down as a parent–at least that is what it does to me. I overreact, feel guilty, swear to myself it won’t happen again–however, my plan isn’t always my kids’ plan–and so the circle goes. It’s all just part of the game.

Melissa 11 months ago

Thank you for writing this article/post. I feel like this so often–you have made me feel so “not alone” in feeling like the “bad parent” for having these exact same feelings. Very brave in saying how it is–parenting isn’t all sunshine, roses, and fulfillment–it is sometimes the big FXXX You–you are exactly right. We just need to learn how to handle it better–if you figure that one out, please blog. Thanks so much again–

Janet 11 months ago

“Annabelle never, ever, ever sticks to this rule. The moment I walk out of the room, she’s got the remote in her hand, channel-surfing, looking for some obnoxious show featuring smart-ass teenagers.” – then why let them watch tv before school at all? if you know your rules are never stuck to – change the rules.

Nadia 11 months ago

I’m not a mother, I’m 38 and one of those super organized and responsible types but I’m also playful and fun. I always thought I’d have kids, but as I get older I realise how difficult it can be and wonder if I’ve got it in me to do the tantrums and refereeing and the rest. I know there are so many lovely things that come from being a parent, though reading this makes me wonder if it’s what I really want. I love kids. I’m intrigued by life and creation. I think I’d be a great mum and I’m still thinking that it may not be my bag. Maybe if the right guy came along I’d think differently. Hmmm.

Ann Folsom 11 months ago

Its a hard lesson for both parent and child to learn where boundaries are. I didn’t get a parenting manual when my kids were born. I have to figure it out along the way. I can happily say that they have taught me more lessons than I have probably taught them. The most memorable lesson was where to set boundaries. I can’t even remember what the offense was the day I blew it with my daughter. But I blew it. I screamed and yelled at my daughter making her scared of me in that moment. Sound similar? Finally, sending her to her room. And, proceeded to scream and yell all the way back to mine. After several minutes, it hit me. I had crossed a boundary that I wouldn’t want anyone to EVER cross with me. So, why would I want my daughter to let anyone cross it with her? After I calmed down and realized that this was a learning lesson for myself as much as her, I went to my daughter’s room. I wiped away the tears I had caused and I held her in my arms and asked her to forgive me. Truly forgive me. I then told her if mommy ever did it again she needed to tell me to take a time out. It is what I asked her to do when she crossed my boundaries. I did not want to raise my daughter to accept that anyone could every cross this relationship boundary…including her mother. I can’t say that I didn’t lose it again with her, but I can say I know the moment that it all stopped. My daughter looked at me and told me I needed a time out. It broke me out of the rant I was in and brought me back to the here and now. This 8 year old, skinny little girl stood up to her mother who was yelling and screaming at her and said, “Mommy. I think you need a time out.” I was speechless.. Now that takes courage! I never lost it again. Oh, we definitely had our moments, our arguments, our posturing on subjects, but all of my children and I learned that there are relationship boundaries that no one crosses…including mothers.

Sheena 11 months ago

Amen…..thanks for sharing…u are human too and god knows with the negativity around me at times by people who are closest to u and supposed to support or encourage u but they have no clue because they are not there with u thru these things so instead they say shit like u gotta do something when that us what most of your life is that u are trying to help them grow into something and not monsters. Yep motherhood needs time outs too for us to be sane….god knows i have lost it too and then my son says u don’t like u and u are not mu big big friend….

Erin 11 months ago

No one wants to feel alone, and feeling alone is my biggest complaint. Most moms I know paint the fairy tale pic of the cherub children and loving spouse. Im the mean one who makes her child sweep the floor for complaints about my cooking or washes mouths out with soap for bad mouthing me. And still I get up daily at dawn while the rest of my house sleeps to get them ready first. before another long day of work. Chin up momma and remember that at least in my house its important that kids understand moms human too and when I lose my shit I apologize for it.

Sonia 11 months ago

Honestly, we have all been there at least once! I know from being a single mother it’s hard. Every mom needs to reassured that sometimes we do need mental breaks and told we are doing the right thing. I think everything you said was true.

Brenda 11 months ago

OMG!! I thought I was the only one who felt like that; I even have my husband home to help me!! My kids are getting older and as they do, they grow more and more disrespectful. They know the rules. They know what is expected of them and yet, they always seem to test me. You definitely aren’t alone and I don’t feel like you did anything wrong. I think you did exactly what many of us have done. I think you’ve voiced what many of us have felt time and time again. Although they drive us crazy sometimes, parenthood is still very rewarding. Although frustrating at times, we will still always do absolutely anything for our kids. Great post!!

Rebecca Jallings 11 months ago

I never lost my temper with my kids until we were in family therapy and the therapist told me it’s a good to let your kids know what happens if they push too hard. We all want to know where those limits are with the people we love. He was right. I went home and within a couple days, big surprise, one of my four kids did something that did just that. Instead of swallowing it, I allowed myself to lose it, just like you did. It was so liberating, and worth the look on my kid’s face–absolute shock and then fear. At that moment, everyone in the house, including my husband, understood that I had a line past which they weren’t going to want to push me. An important moment for all of us.

Jennifer Slay 11 months ago

Thank you so much. Truly, thank you for being brave enough to put this out there. I have had many a day like you described and it helps to not feel so alone – lol.

Maureen 11 months ago

Somebody really needs Supernanny.

Andrea Jorgensen 11 months ago

Seriously. Seriously…mine, too!!

Andrea Jorgensen 11 months ago

Thank you! Thank you!! Thank you!!! For putting into words what my mommy brain couldn’t spit out. As a mom of six under 12, with a deployed husband, I am CONSTANTLY losing my shit. Acting like a complete and total psycho…because not one of my children was teasing another and knocked over a small cup of some liquid (or some other teeny, tiny “straw”). I could go on forever…and ever, but I won’t. I just needed to tell you how grateful I am for you writing this. While I’m still not proud for the mom I am, some days, I take solace knowing I’m not alone and someone knows exactly how I feel.

Lauri 11 months ago

Do you have a hidden microphone in my home? You’ve just written, in scary clear detail, the story of my life. You are not alone.

Tyler Adams 11 months ago

Honestly, I read many articles and never reply. But from a son’s perspective, thank you very much for posting this. Not only did you make many other mothers feel less alone in their struggles, but you really made me understand everything my mother has been saying for so long. Your words literally sounded like they were coming out of my mother’s mouth. I have heard all of this for years and I always tried to help around the house but, I never realized it shouldn’t be “helping” it should be just doing my part in cohabitating in a house that I do not pay for! I don’t think many kids understand this, and I think it does take some maturity, so I wouldn’t expect a 9-10 year old to understand. But no matter how stupid or horrible this makes me sound, you helped me hear it from someone else and It just reminds me to have so much respect for what my mother does and cherish her as a person and not just as my mother.

Kelly 11 months ago

Pretty sure you just described my life, every day. Glad I’m not alone! It’s good to read and help me to realize that I’m human too, even on the days when I’m overwhelmed and feeling utterly alone. Thank you for sharing:)

Sheri 11 months ago

My oldest is 25. The last two, well, I need to go through infertility hell to have them. I should be happy and all that stuff all the time. Um, no. You are sooooo right about this. Really. Thanks for saying it out loud.

DDC 11 months ago

Give the TV away, or at least, keep the remote where only you can access it. No TV in the morning, EVER.
After reminding the child to put the lunch in the backpack (repeat and report), reasonably for the age, DO NOT TAKE IT TO SCHOOL. The kid won’t die cuz she missed lunch. (I tell the school office to NOT give her a school lunch; mine preferred school lunches and would ‘forget’ hers on the favorites days). Throw the lunch in the fridge for an after school snack.
Now for the fun part, create a chart for how to earn TV time. Clean your room (define what that means). You earn a 1/2 hour show. Fold kitchen towels and put them away…earn your choice of privilege.
I am truly sorry when my kids do not make their goals and I understand that they have to do better next time. And when they earn their goals, wooo hooo! Enjoy your rewards.
My 6th grader wants a phone. So she’s learning to do house laundry…sheets, towels, tee shirts, jeans. She earns $$$ per load and can pay her phone bill. No complaints from her! And when she doesn’t make it, her phone gets shut off for non-payment and she has to pay to get it going again. That happened ONCE and NEVER AGAIN. She’s says they’re mean!

Aiyshen 11 months ago

We’ve all been there and sadly will have more of this. It is wonderful to know that it is a shared experience for so many. I am so grateful to know I’m not alone. I too have chased, yelled and exploded at my kids. But unlike how I was raised I also think they understand that I am a person first. That means that respect is critical. They have seen me at my best and my not so best and I hope in the long run I raise healthy realistic adults who don’t see their parents at perfect or unapproachable.

Sarah 11 months ago

Hi, I don’t mean this in a judgmental way at all, but if it were me, I would so not stand for that behavior. There would be no TV for three days if my kid changed the channel when I expressly told her not to. And if she did it again, no TV for a week, and so on. Yes, the other kids suffer because of the actions of one, but then the kids would pressure each other to behave. I guess I’m a lot more strict, but I would never stand for the kind of disrespectful behavior detailed above. I understand that the point of the blog is that being a parent sometimes (often) sucks, and I totally agree with this, but I argue that if your kids are pushing you to your breaking point, you are letting them push you way too much. How can you take the best care of your kids if you are taking care of yourself (by demanding respect, obedience, participation, etc. etc.). Just my perspective.

Kristen H 11 months ago

I just want to say a big THANK YOU. I am so glad to know i am not alone feeling this way. Not all the time but most. When i read your story all i couldthink about was this sounds just like my house, my kids, and my life. We do the best we can do and thats all we can do. But a majority of the time its never good enough. I got you sista. And please never stop ” keeping it real” in your stories so the rest of us dont feel like we are the only ones that feel the same way you do. BRAVO BRAVO!!!!

Krista 11 months ago

yep… you put in print what is in my mind. sending you a fist bump cause we are on the same page. It sucks some times and to think that I tried and waited and tried and waited so long for these children. lol

DANIEL DOUD 11 months ago


Anastesia 11 months ago

Sounds just like me last night. You are not alone! It sucks the life right of u

Rachelle 11 months ago

This made me cry. Because it’s so true. We all hit those moments that we just lose it. I’ve had a few recently. My nine year old is testing the waters on her newfound desire for independence and she is driving me bonkers. Ugh!!!

And you are not alone. Not at all.

Kimberly 11 months ago

Im not going to judge you because I think that we have all been there. I have 4 kids now all teenagers and they are so disrespectful. I remember if I would have done that to my mom and dad I would have been punished. I wish we could go back to those days because no one talked back or they got smacked. Keep your head up it only gets worse sorry but true.

Jackie 11 months ago

I can totally relate being a mom of 4 and grandmother of 2 which all live under my roof w their significant others. Sometimes we just explode. Happens to the best of us. Be happy in knowing u r not alone!

Bill G 11 months ago

Kudos to all you parents who endure so much and who refrain from hitting your kids whenever humanly possible. Losing your shit is one thing, but wailing on these infuriating but defenseless and clueless people is a whole other enchilada.
One anecdote I read a while ago: a woman puts her toddler down to get the keys to her car, and in 3 seconds, realizes he’s headed for the street, which has a large truck coming towards him. She is stricken with panic and dashes after the little boy, snatching him up inches before his feet reach the road. She holds him tightly and then instantly bursts into tears. The boy – who’s too young to understand warnings about avoiding traffic or to comprehend the spanking many parents would have given him at that moment – comprehends every ounce of the powerful emotions his mother is expressing, and in seconds, he too bursts into tears.
So what does this emotionally brilliant act of mothering teach me? That, when it’s possible, it’s always best to express (even your most negative and intense) emotions in ways that promote bonding with your children rather than resentment. That boy, to the extent that he is able, will remember that moment by the road as one of extraordinary love and connection with his mom.

Rosa King 11 months ago

I absolutely love this post and you. Thank you for writing this!

jewelsoftime 11 months ago

Lorraine, Sounds like Naomi is the one being judgmental. Hang in there! I raised three girls who are now 39, 34, and 21. Had their share of ups and downs but they all turned out great and are my best friends. It does get better.

the MOM 11 months ago

THANK YOU!!!! I was beginning to feel like I was alone in this world, I love my children more than life itself and my husband is pretty darn amazing but I find myself having these moments a lot!!! My family is comprised of my two kiddos and my two step-kiddos and it seems like nothing I say means anything to them, none of the rules apply. My husband doesn’t get it, he tries to support me but he more often than not undermines me especially with his kids, being a mom is a tight rope act and there is never a trampoline under you when you fall. Thank you for making me feel human!!!!

Mark 11 months ago

This is a great post. I can say I have moments like this as well. My only problem with your post….I am a Dad going through the same thing. I am not a single dad (although it certainly feels like it many times). I work at home. And yes, I WORK at home. I have a full time job that I do out of my house. My wife is a wonderful elementary school teacher which means that she gets to deal with 20 some odd little people everyday. Then spend all her time after school answering crappy emails from parents or inputting testing data or attending some professional development. So, she comes home, exhausted, distant, pissy, short tempered.

I am with you. I want, I want, I want. That seems to be the extent of everyone’s vocabulary. Its the 100 little things that happen in a day that take you away from what you are doing that breaks you down. The phone calls. The knocks on the door. Everything. Then, they come home from school. Snacks, homework, chores (good luck getting them to do it!) and its off to activities. Halloween isn’t a night anymore. Its a friggin week of stupid events, parties and fundraisers! And you better take the kids or you’re a bad parent. Sports…check. Doctors appointments, orthodontists…check.

It all adds up. These are the things we do for our families without a thank you. In fact, god forbid you sit down to spend a few minutes doing something you enjoy and I hear screeching from somewhere in the house. And I’m off again.

Thanks for posting this. At least I know i am not alone and some horrible father.

Noemi Gaylon 11 months ago

I have been through every single thing, with 5 kids! The consolation does come when they reach the age and they turn around to say ” you were right all along, thank you mama”

Elena 11 months ago

Thank you for this. Especially the part about your Mom. That hit close to home. This is a tough job and you really put my thoughts into words. I guess I expected to really love motherhood. And sometimes I do. Sometimes I look at their little faces and I’m truly amazed at how beautiful they are. But then sometime, most of the time, I miss my old life. I miss what my marriage used to be. And I miss the girl I used to be. Right now they’re 3 months old and 22 months old… I know this is difficult stage. So I really appreciate reading about other Moms who feel what I’m feeling. I’ve really come to peace with a lot of my issues, just from knowing I’m not alone.

Michelle 11 months ago

I actually just had this meltdown this morning…after I tripped on a pair of shoes in front of the closet…AGAIN!!! Not tough rules to follow! If I’m not following them around, telling them to follow the household rules, they don’t get followed! UGH!

JessiBerry 11 months ago

And the night before, when you’re husband tells you you’re time isn’t valuable because tour not paid, and he doesn’t care how you feel? It’s a big fat ‘fuck you for sure. Today is a day for me. A crappy one at that too… But you’re right. Just need to look forward to those rewarding moments….

Brittney 11 months ago

Thank you! I needed to read/hear that today. I have been feeling the exact same way and I have basically talked myself into getting the 123 magic parenting lol hoping this helps. I am a mother to 4 girls 4 months to 7 years and I just can’t take all the testing and fighting and emotional dramatic fits because she couldn’t kiss the baby. Thank you again for posting such honesty!

Holeen Sunderland 11 months ago

TEARS ran down my face reading your heart!
I do feel this and try not to be bothered by the attitude I receive by protecting serving and raising my children. It is all the other things that add up and the breaking point usually is a small thing, the worstand best part is they will remember all of it. Mom remember when you lost it. Mom remember when you took us to Magic Mountain. Mothers can only do what we can do.

Lisa, a.k.a. The Bold Soul 11 months ago

I suspect that, as long as “losing your shit” isn’t something that happens often, maybe that’s the ONLY way to get their attention and to get through to them that they’ve crossed the line, those darling little takers. They know darn well they are pushing you to your limits sometimes, and they will push and push until someone pushes back. Maybe it’s a good lesson for them to learn: that they can’t ignore other people (especially their parents) and ignore the rules, and they can’t constantly demand and take without giving something back. In the real world, other people won’t put up with that crap from them – so why should their parents?

Kk 11 months ago

I just said the exact same thing!

Kk 11 months ago

I can’t believe you are worrying about TV shows that use the words “idiots” and “stupid” when you told your daughter to “Open her GD door” I mean really??? I totally understand the concept of “losing it” but not to the extremes of cussing out my children. WOW is all I can say!

Nancy 11 months ago

I hope she apologized to her family and modeled humbleness.

laura baker 11 months ago

I so get it I have a 10month old who is not that bad but her stepsister drives me nuts I get that in the mean monster who is with her daddy but when I tell u to do something I expect you to do it not run to ur daddy and tell on me and get us into a fight I get she is not my kid and I thank god for that because I would like it more to be a friend to her then a mom because omg some of the stuff she dose my mom would have killed me for but when ur in my house I have every right to tell u what to do and what time to be in the house and if ur not then ur going to get into trouble. And I love my sisters girl she is so sweet but when I was helping raise her she was really good all u had to do was point a finger and she was all cry and y can’t all kids be like this. And sweetheart I have the up most respect to u for telling them who is boss and letting them know its not ok to do what every u want

Misty 11 months ago

You are NOT alone… I have acted like a crazy maniac on more occasions than I care to admit! I say my kids can make me angrier and just about anyone, but one second later they can make me happier than anyone else can!!!!

Stephanie 11 months ago

THANK YOU for this!! I feel like a demented, pea soup spewing mom when I lose it( the really bad ones) . So glad that I am not the only one.
I am also a stepmom and holy geez can that be tough!!
I try so hard , but there is only so much, especially in the mornings, or near holidays/birthdays, a human can take. The I wants, attitude, ungrateful ness, lack of motivation when asked to be helpful…………….. Argh!
Thanks again!!!!

Catey 11 months ago

Those will be the priceless pics to put in the wedding video (I have mine hidden).

Tiffany 11 months ago

Thank you….. I am a mom of 3, two boys 8 and 4, and an 8 year old girl. I can’t even begin to tell you how I felt like this was my life I was reading. You made my day….mommy power!

tara 11 months ago

Yup. Lost it last night. Hubs got stuck late at businews lunch for new job. He was previously home so bif adjustments for all. I was home with 2 & 3 year old boys. Did day care pick up with cool new healthy snacks, watched 30 min of Halloween special, played stickers, made dinner, drew on eyeliner mustaches before bath, picked out post bath tattoos…we were rocking it. But then they had to actually remove clothing for bath. Instead they wanted to run around naked and slam doors in my face…into separate rooms. One had big poop. Ok, no big deal… then the 2 year old though bath was meant to be wave pool…when I let the water out when he wouldn’t stop, they wanted daddy. when I started cleaning them I was washing off the mustache. When the big one was clean and i asked the little one to stand up, I was told no as they laid in the tub giggling. When i took the big one out to actually reach the little one, he freaked out because I took him out of the tub. When the little one refused to stand up and I screamed, he started crying. I felt like a monster…then once they had pj’s on and teeth were brushed they were all happy again like nothing ever happened. My throat was more sore than it had been from my cold and I was sad I had to scream. My 3 year old told me “you make me sad when you yell.” Well kiddo, you make me sad when you don’t listen. I’m trying to bathe you, not cut your fingers off…

Jim Spagnola 11 months ago

As a single dad of three boys aged 12, 8, and 6, I have said exactly the same thing to myself. Everyone loses it to some extent at some point. Totally normal

dana 11 months ago

O wow…I am so not alone..after reading this it can sum up some mornings around here too. I applaud you for putting it out there cause that’s how it goes sometimes. I hope your day got I take a five to refuel to clean my 10 yo girl’s rooms.ugh just a little respect would be nice.amen loved this.

Jennifer 11 months ago

Love this! Just had a PMS (psychotic meltdown symptom) over the weekend. This is just what I needed. I salute you for being so honest about motherhood.

Joyce 11 months ago

This story resonates with every mother there ever was who ever cared about their children. You feel this way because you care and care and care so hard that it’s exhausting! It takes a toll on you! You do everything in the best interest of your children and they think that you are just being mean… You do it because you care SO MUCH for their well being down to every detail (such as what they war on tv) and they think that you’re some horrible monster for it… I feel for you. I haven’t read through all of the comments on here, but I hope there are not any negative ones. Like I said, EVERY mother can relate to this and it doesn’t make you any more horrible for typing it out and putting it here…

Anyway, I’m so sick of the motherhood articles written by women who pretend to have it all together. Thanks for being real for the sake of all us other mother’s sanity.

Brandi 11 months ago

You are so not alone, that is our day just about every day…the not listening and not being helpful or even kind and I on occasion “loose” it too. I do not understand kids these days, if I ever acted the way my kids do my mom would not have put up with it. I did grow up in the spanking is ok era but was never spanked so I can not say it was that, I just do not get it. But you are so not alone and I so needed this today, because it was not a pretty morning here either! Thanks for exposing yourself, because as you can see from all the comments, none of us are alone, though we feel like it!

Mansplainer of Doom 11 months ago

Back up the train. Literally no one on here has said “Jesus, this isn’t ok. You’re gonna have trouble if you don’t get this business under control.”

First off, guilt is a useless emotion, and you should all stop indulging in it right now. You do your best, sometimes you screw up. It happens.

That said, “Motherhood is a job” is a constant refrain on here. If you had indulged yourself in this sort of uncontrolled outburst at a job, you would expect to be out on your ass. At a minimum, your coworkers would all think you were crazy. You would expect that…but somehow, your family doesn’t deserve the courtesy, respect, and self control you would give a job?

My mom was a screeching, raging maniac and you know what? …25 years later, it’s abundantly clear that she’s been in dire need of professional help my whole life. She got put on a SSRI; she SHOULD have been on one decades ago.

I wouldn’t be so quick to just dismiss this incident with some “You go, girl” Oprah platitudes. You also REALLY are not going to like the lessons this sort of thing is teaching your kids. That boy in particular is going to stand his ground on you when you chase him after puberty, and you are going to be in for some real shocks if you keep doing what you’ve been doing.

Staci 11 months ago

I have 4 girls and 1 boy. Hello one way ticket to the asylum. Who’s coming with me?!?!

Sara p 11 months ago

You won’t let your kids watch ” obnoxious teenage ” tv shows but you have no problem cussing & yelling at them . Lol okay then .

Jane Metzger 11 months ago

Someday your children will feel the same way about their children and remember your meltdowns and understand your frustration.

Paige 11 months ago

Oh thank GOD! So I’m not the only mom in the world who has epic meltdowns? I honestly thought I was. I cry to my husband quite often that our kids are going to hate me as they grow up because I’ve lost it so many times…and for those exact reasons. I feel so much better after reading this. Thank you for having the balls to post it.

Heat c 11 months ago

We dont have any TV on before school. Maybe that would help your day. But I get it. I have 4 kids been there!

Smartypants 11 months ago

Good grief. My cats and dog have never caused me to meltdown. They only bring me joy and appreciate everything I do for them, which only involves feeding them, a walk, a pat on the head … kids are not worth this shit. Childfree, whoo!

Angela 11 months ago

Thank you! I had one of these days lay week and have felt miserable. Kind of was thinking I’m the only one that’s even lost it. Glad to know I’m not alone.

Katie 11 months ago

Thank you for this. Sounds like typical day. Nice to know I am not alone. Sometimes, I feel like a huge failure. Other times I enjoy the rewarding moments.

Selena 11 months ago

AMEN. So nice to hear that other people are JUST LIKE ME. I totally HATE motherhood lots of the time. All I want is to have them do what I ask ONCE. That’s it. sigh.
You are soooooo not alone. I feel like a SCARY mommy more than I ever thought possible.
Love and hugs to you!

Jimmy 11 months ago

Yes, we all snap. Does it make it right? Absolutely not. That is why there are feelings of guilt. It is when your conscience says to you, “YOU are wrong!” The most important thing is that we recognise our own faults, and make an effort to correct them. We should apologise, just like the kids do, and give them a big hug and reassurance that we love them more than anything in the world.

Father of a very spirited 7 year old, and Autistic 6 year old.

Amanda 11 months ago

Omg I am right there with you. I know we as mothers are not perfect and we don’t get much time to relax or even gather our thoughts and I feel like I have melt downs with both of my kids ever other day. I am so glad I am not a lone.

BIGMAMA 11 months ago

I’m glad to read all these comments. Good to know I’m not the only mom that has had w melt dwn or two.
Keep up the good work fellow mothers.

jp 11 months ago

Get rid of your tvs. All of them.

Justin 11 months ago

Well, I’m a guy, and I read this and many of the comments below. And you know what, I completely agree with the above. The scariest thing I’ve ever done is scare the living shit out of my kids (Two boys) and i’ve seen my wife, that WONDERFUL and AWESOME person that she is, look at me like I’ve got two heads for a minute, then agree. The she does it, much like was described above, and I look at her like she has two heads, then I agree. Well, we agree about 90% of the time. But if your kids get to do ANYTHING they want, and are given ANYTHING they want, then we are raising a bunch of ill mannered, spoiled, and bratty kids, that will become arrogant, “me, me, me”, adults. I refuse to do that, so, I discipline my kids, if they need it, make them EARN what they get (no child labor, just like the lady above, chores, homework, good grades, etc.) and then I just pray. Bottom line, being a parent can be a complete and total pain in the ass at times, then there are other times that it is the best job in the entire world. I applaud all the mothers out there, because you keep it together.

I’m a deployed sailor and my wife is taking care of both boys until I get back, by herself. To say she is a saint would be an understatement. I’m recommending this site to her, as it may help her keep her sanity!!! Thanks for posting.

Kathy 11 months ago

I loved this, oh my I’m not alone! I remember posting something similar on a mommy blog years ago and got hammered and shamed by perfectionist mommy’s and felt sooooo guilty! A few years later I asked a close friend, who I thought was just so perfect as a mom, I hemmed and hawed and said gee not sure how to put this but have you ever? Hmmm as I continued to struggle, so she said what have a psycho mom moment, I said exactly!!!! She said all the time!!! I never felt alone again……crazy how much we do for truly so little appreciation, sad…….but nonetheless I adore being a mom!

Ree2 11 months ago

Yes, yes thank you for saying what I’m sure every mother has felt!!! We are people to and deserve to be treated as such especially from our family. I’m sure my kids will never forget my “losing it moments”. Moms Rock

Jack 11 months ago

You are doing fine! We have all been there…you are not alone!

Dawn 11 months ago

I know its going to set your teeth on edge to hear this because its not what you need right now, but, ohhhh, is it going to get worse…

I’ll spare you the gory details. Suffice to say, my mother used to say “Fix a picture in your minds of them at their most adorable, and keep it there.” When asked why, she’d say, “Because its what will keep you from KILLING them when they’re teenagers!”

If I’d only known how right she was *sigh*.

Laura 11 months ago

Thank you for being brave enough to write and share this. I have felt this way before and motherhood can be so hard. I try so hard not to yell after hearing my almost 3 year old respond to me by yelling. We’ve all been there whether we admit it or not.

Amanda Welch 11 months ago

I FEEL YOU on sooooooo many levels! At this very moment I am praying to everything holy in the universe that my boys go to bed in the next 5 minutes! I require SPACE… I’ve had little to none lately & that pure SUCKS! I have had more than a fair shares of “lose it’s” lately folowed by a gigantic FUCK YOU to Motherhood this week. YOU R NOT ALONE!!! Keep on keep’n on… it’s all we can do!

Joanna 11 months ago

No judgement here! Been there done that!!!

Samantha 11 months ago

Thank you for finally being the one to say it!!! I explode on my adhd 8 and 10 yr old. It’s the little things and the bickering. And then having to deal with why the ex husband is sooo much better because mom sets the rules. It’s nice to know I’m not going out of my mind.. or at least not alone

Denise 11 months ago

I am so thankful for blogs like this. I have 3 boys and this is how I feel daily. Funny how this is exactly what I’ve been thinking of this week. Motherhood is such a thankless, job . From the kids, to the dads. I work full time and and then I come home and take care of the kids and the husband. Still waiting to figure out who takes care of me. I have these meltdowns no less than twice a month, and I feel like such a horrible parent. I’m so happy that I am not the only one experiencing these feelings.

Shane 11 months ago

I needed this article after the last week! I am not alone! Thank god!!!

Amanda 11 months ago

You are not alone, and I am so very thankful someone had the courage to tell this story so that I didn’t feel so alone on this. Thank you for being able to put into words exactly how I feel <3

mama knows 11 months ago

I know exactly what u r going thru. I have 5 children 4 girls 1 boy ranging from 16 to 6. My husband works construction so I never know when he will be home. So the feeling is mutual. I break down even after making suppers I have to try as and hide in my room just for quietness to read

Jen 11 months ago

Done it. It works. My eldest lost his door for a year. I feel no remorse.

Cathy 11 months ago

Wow, I could have written this! I get frustrated and angry, and sometimes downright lose it, too. And I always wonder why motherhood is so hard? But you hit the nail on the head! I’ve given up everything for my kids–my career, my independence, my freedom, and I don’t mind– I would do anything for my family, they all know that. Trouble is, they take advantage of that and expect it without appreciation or respect and that what is making us Moms lose it. We just want the respect we deserve from our kids and our husbands. Thanks for being brave enough to write this.

Genevieve 11 months ago

If you find those pills, you have to share.

Crystal 11 months ago

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Someone has finally said it out loud. I am the mother of 4, 3 of which are step kids (I’m raising 2 of 3, along with my son) & at times I just want to pull my hair out. It’s even harder when you have put every ounce of yourself into them to turn around & be told “your not my mother!” Or have them be told something similar to that effect by “other parties” Seriously!? Really??? I put blood, sweat, & tears in each of my children & love & care for them as I do my own. I don’t know what hurts worse being a mom or being a step mom let alone the one that’s raising them. Talk about getting no credit. Thank you for blogging about this. It’s shows me I’m not the only one who has had these experiences.

Layla 11 months ago

THANK YOU!!! I almost came to tears reading this. Not b/c it was sad but b/c it was validating. It is so nice to know someone else can relate.

Genevieve 11 months ago

Wow, did you hit the nail on the head! Thank you for putting it into words.

Shelly 11 months ago

I totally feel for you. When I was in my young 20s my Mother told me ” it only gets worse”. She was right, although there are moments when being a Mom is very rewarding, there always seems to be those times when your kids, even as adults, take you for granted because thats your job as a Mom. Sometimes it does suck.

Neise 11 months ago

I so agree, im a single parent and it helps to vent; it helps you to stay sane. Your not alone :)

Joe 11 months ago

I have two kids…one boy, one girl….they are perfect….every dad:)….

Cassandra 11 months ago

This is how I feel most days, two boys 6 and 4, and to think I want a third (well somedays I do). I think as mothers we have so much space in us to hold a certain amount in and then BOOM! It goes off. I wish I could figure out what these other mothers who seem so sweet all the time do it. Pharmaceutical companies need to come up with a happy Mommy pill. Sign me up. :)

Jolie 11 months ago

Thank you for posting this. This has also happened to me and I have had these same thoughts. I actually teared up reading this, as it is good to know I’m not alone.

AmBaer 11 months ago

I like my boys to think there is a just a little crazy and scary here – helps keep them in line.

Crystal 11 months ago

I totally agree and pisses me off even more so when the mother talking crap is NOT even taking on that responsibilty herself. Now those mothers or so-called mothers do not deserve that title especially if they are everything but that.

Krista E. 11 months ago

No judgement here. I feel your pain. My children are older (20, 17 & 15) and I’m sorry to say, but it’s only going to get worse. :(

Crystal 11 months ago

I too have blown up like that at my kids. But damn, finding myself having to repeat the same crap everyday is so damn old and pretty much seems pointless. Ugh, yes being a mother is very, very hard. Your whole is put on hold because you have to do everything for them. Appreciating anything around is far fetched. However, my kids do get the sit down and the meaningful and heartfelt talk about everything and why i say what i do to them. They do hear what i say and things mellow out for a bit. But, it always repeats. Ahhh the lovely life of a mother lol. In the end i have to remind myself that i love this and i wouldn’t change it for the world. ❤️

Kat 11 months ago

My breakdown last night happened at storytime. One boy wanted to sit on my right side, but the other boy was already there. I thought, “What am I Jesus with the fighting disciples?” Then I just started to cry. They were shocked and scared. After they went to bed, I confessed to my husband, “I think I hate them more than I enjoy them. What are we doing wrong? Were we that terrible?” It’s not just emotionally taxing, it’s relentless. I never know if I’m going to sleep. I never know if I’ll get to shower. I never know if I’ll end up in the ER that night because the middle child dropped the bunk bed rail on the older child’s head. So, thank you for your honesty, because I really needed to hear it today.

Tales of a Housewife 11 months ago

Yes! It sucks your soul. It’s a thankless job. Negotiating, back talking, picking battles.. Why can’t you just do what I said.
I make sure they brush their teeth, I fight when they didn’t eat enough, I fight for them to shut off the iPad and join us for a movie.
I do not get to have fun. I drive them all over the place, I make sure they have everything they need. While I’m busy cooking or folding their clothes, Daddy gets to be the fun one. And I have to hear, how come you don’t do anything with me? ARE YOU SERIOUS? Who drove you to the mall and clothes shopped with you, helped you pick out a backpack, who helped you find all your school supplies and took you out to dinner and paid for everything!!? Who hung up all the new clothes, put your name on all the school stuff?
Who makes sure you eat, read, take a bath, brush your teeth, keeps your room clean, drives you to friends houses and practices and birthday parties!?! ME ME ME!!
And yet there’s hardly ever recognition or a thank you. Just more, oh and by the way I need, you have to get me and I have to haves.
And every night we go to bed with guilt. Did I really have to scream? Could I have handled that a different way? Did I have to fold clothes right then? Should I have just played that wii game….
Glad I’m not alone

Salwa 11 months ago

Love this blog post. I know of some moms online and offline who act as if they have a perfect house, perfect kids and you look at your self and feel like such a failure.

Thanks for sharing

Tina grande 11 months ago

Sometimes I just don’t like the lol, my little ones 7 and 8 make me crazy and I find myself saying, wow I must be a bad mom because at the moment when I’m heated and want to choke their little necks don’t like them and my 16 yr old doesn’t help… then it passes we have a nightly dance party in the living room and I go back to loving them so much it hurts….being a mom certainly is not an easy job and I feel your pain… loose it once in awhile, it is what make you human and a good mother xoxo

Shannon 11 months ago

You are not alone, and you are an awesome mom! :-)

adriana 11 months ago

Is it bad that im happy that im not the only one? Thank you for sharing

Maggie 11 months ago

i know this seems hard to believe, but what I’m about to say is very true. I raised two very mischievous boys that are barely 2 years apart and a daughter who is 5 years younger than they are. The boys are adults now and my daughter is 14 (Lord help me!! LOL) I’ve spanked them in the middle of Walmart on a busy Saturday morning once when they knocked the basket full of groceries over. I’ve screamed, hollered and locked myself in my bedroom and cried. All those times were doubt…but now, my adult and teen children hug my neck and tell me they love me. I’ve heard my oldest who now has children of his own tell me he now understands what he put me through and how hard it must’ve been as a single mom. My now grown children have made all those hard times worth it. So, moms who are having a difficult time, keep your chins up. It does get better. Keep disciplining them and show them how strong, confident parents raise productive adults. Your children will thank you for it.

Vanessa 11 months ago

THANK YOU!!!! I just had to have the same conversation with my 7 year old about her tooth she just lost that I had 2 weeks ago!!!! I informed my kids that I don’t make these rules or tell them what is right/wrong to hear my voice I do it from experience!!!! I told them I’m tired of having the same conversations day in day out all the while KNOWING that I’ll just have to do the same thing tomorrow!!!! I greatly appreciate you writing this!

Veronica 11 months ago

I have four boys and one daughter with special needs. I try my best not to let myself get like this but it happens. My boys are messy and gross with the burping and farting. My daughter needs constant care what with feeds because she has a stomach feeding tube. I’m ALWAYS tired. I wake up sleepy. I love being a mom and have dedicated my life to being one but it is a very thankless job. It sometimes feels almost like a bad relationship would. You do everything to make the person happy and you never seem to get them happy or grateful for your efforts. Plus, back when my first couple of boys were younger I always had this belief that it would be OK after they turned 18. Like I thought they would be safe….my worry was over because they were adults. This has been the biggest lie I have ever told myself. I worry more because they are making adult mistakes…..the ones you can’t take back sometimes. The ones that can completely change your life for the worst. Being a mom is scary and hard but when my kids do manage to say I love you mom….it makes it all worth it for me. I’m like a dog happy to be thrown a bone every once in a blue moon.

Cid 11 months ago

It does get better. When my second son called me to say thanks I about passed out. His second year in college he told me he appreciated the fact that I wad the mean mom. He said that, at least he knew how to run a vacuum, clean a toilet, and cook food… unlike most of the other students. He figured it was because their parents never made them do anything around the house. I refer back to that moment when my two teenage boys are trying my patience and stand firm in doing the right thing and teaching them some responsibility, respect, and discipline.

Vickie 11 months ago

Wow! Kudos to you for telling it like it is. The truth is it’s all bs surrounded by the text book version of motherhood. 4 kids later and that’s tossed in the trash. Totally feel your pain and the lunch being forgotten? I would have done he same thing and have so many many times after losing it too. It’s just what we do, period. Thanks for sharing.

Nicole 11 months ago

I needed to read this today. I was feeling so guilty for losing it on my little one last night and my big one this morning. I had a sobering thought today. What if I saw someone else treating my kids the way I do when the send me flailing over the edge? I would not stand for it. In fact, I’d probably do my best to beat their ass. So WHY ON EARTH do I get to treat them that way? Ouch. Still stings… Anyway, thank you again.

Tamara 11 months ago

I’m a step-parent to 3 (& I have 2 of my own)… his come every other weekend (mine are with us full time). But yes, the step-mother role is a hard one… we aren’t their mother, but we are a parent figure and our house has rules…. it’s hard… walking that fine line…. and I’m still learning to navigate. It’s hard on us because we care… even when we feel like we are the only ones who (as I say) “give a shit”. Good luck :)

Tamara 11 months ago

I have 2 of my own children (8 & 10 yr old girls) & my hubby has 3 (11 yr old boy and 13 & 14 year old girls)….. When all 7 of us are together I swear… if I didn’t constantly tell everyone what to do, where to to go… this house would be one big stinking trash heap…. They must love when I’m freaking out… cause all they have to do is do the simple things that I’ve asked of them (pick up after themselves)… and I would be a happy girl….. some day…… one day… they will all cooperate… until then I feel better knowing that I am not the only mother who flips the freak out on everyone over a pair of dirty socks in the middle of the hallway (when the laundry shoot is 2 feet away & I’ve told them a thousand and one times where they go)….

Cailie Paterson 11 months ago

Last I checked nobody gave mean owners manual for these kids, keep on keeping on girl! We’re all just doing the best we can…let’s hope they put us in nice nursing homes at least! Lol

Kristin 11 months ago

thank you for letting me know I am not the only one who loses their cool from time to time! I have said those same exact words more then once!

Donna 11 months ago

Omg!!! This is me! Thank you so much for showing me I’m not alone and more importantly that I’m not a BAD mommy, but a NORMAL mommy.

Chele 11 months ago

I just want to thank you for writing this and posting it. I am a stay at home mom with two toddlers and a third on the way. There are so many days where I feel that loneliness and unapprciation. I have definitely had my fair share of meltdowns almost exactly like this one. It was so relieving to read something real and not all kittens and butterflies about motherhood. So thank you!!

P.Bubblegum 11 months ago

NO! You are most definitely not alone. I feel exactly the same ways you have said here. I found what helped me deal with the stress, to a certain extent, is joining my local roller derby league. Oh, the sweet, sweet hitting. But that’s me.

kendra 11 months ago

Exactly this. Its even better, a crystal clear fuck you, If you will…. when one of your 5 year old twins has learned to flip you off. Dual fingers, simultaneously. With an evil smirk. I told him we would be going to the Dr so he van remove the offending appendages.

Nova C. 12 months ago

Thanks for sharing. I’m a relatively new mom with only one 2 year old but I feel so often like I’m alone in feeling like this. I haven’t ever blown up (yet) but have felt like screaming SO MANY TIMES! Thanks SO much for sharing.

Marlena 12 months ago

With tears in my eyes all I can say is I feel your pain….some days it sucks! Others it is great. My mom bought a book for me called “New Kid By Friday” it is a great parenting book. It helps bring me back down to calm and controlled and find a solution to these problems. They methods used really work as long as you’re consistent which is u ssually where I struggle. But I just keep trying. :-) everyone losses it once and a while. After all we are jy st human.

Crystal Roberts 12 months ago

It’s as if you wrote my life. I love my children very much however there are days I wanna cry. Been there..

P-dub 12 months ago

Thank you …. just ….. thank you.

I’m now raising a grandchild and – like the first time around – as a single mom.

I just don’t want to be a mom any more. I just don’t.

So – thanks for saying the things I want to scream to the world. I am grateful for my close, loving, and understanding women-friends who understand that going through it the first time wasn’t fun. As an encore performance it’s agony.

Amy 12 months ago

I have 3 angels of my own and can’t tell you how many times I’ve exploded over stupid things. My oldest has Down syndrome, my middle (and my only girl) has I’m 18 and I can do what I want syndrome and my little one has I’m only 9 and get lost in the shuffle syndrome. The oldest, most definitely the easiest regardless of IEP meetings and Transition issues.

I’ve been told a million times over the past few months how much I’m going to miss fighting with my daughter when she leaves for college. I just don’t think it’s going to happen. She is the stress inducer in the house. I literally cringe when I know she’s going to be home for a few hours without an activity or date to rush off to. I mourn for my sweet baby girl who wanted to stay home from school to help mommy when I brought her little brother home from the hospital but this creature she has turned into? I won’t miss one little bit.

Don’t get me wrong, I love this girl with all my heart. She is going to be a strong, beautiful and amazingly empathetic woman some day. For the time being though, I’m counting the days until graduation far more eagerly than she is.

Vanessa 12 months ago

Yes, just yes! Thank you for writing this. I’ve had numerous explosions like this and quite honestly so has every other mom. You go sister!

autumn 12 months ago

Amen! I thought I was the only one who lost it (other than my mother who ALWAYS yelled and criticized us, and still does). I know how much I disliked being yelled at as a child… however, I wasn’t all that unruly. My children are usually not mean… but if you tell my daughter,who is 8, don’t eat the last apple, she will eat it. If she ask for a drink at the store… and I am paying for the basics with change… she is relentless! She has many helpful qualities, a very generous heart… but the ability to make my eye twitch! Thanks for sharing!

Eleanour 12 months ago

Two things I have done that may be helpful to you here. I have taken doors off bedrooms. Kids aren’t allowed to slam them, or to lock them. They will work pretty hard to earn that door back (and home depot sells door handles without locks). And I have gone on strike. No laundry, dishes, school lunches, meals, grocery shopping. You have only listed one age here. 8. My kids were 4 and 7 when i did that. They can do some of these things on their own, and your willingness to step back in is linked to their behavior, and mostly to their starting to help around the house.

Good luck – elementary aged kids are at their most trainable stage. You’ve got this.

Jodie 12 months ago

This. Just. Yes. I had a meltdown a couple months ago. I felt so terrible. No mother ever talks about them, I really thought I screwed up. Glad to know I’m not the only one. Thank you, really.

Kara 12 months ago

Good to hear that other moms go through what I do with my kids!

dcole0105 12 months ago

what you said is soooo true…. i went off last night on my 7yr old…. the talking back sends me over the edge as well as the eye rolling, huffing and puffing, but, but, but mom….. the I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING… ugh. sometimes as parents you feel like you are not going to make it… my husband works crazy hours so a lot of times its just the 2 of us. so i also often feel like i have to battle this all by myself. its really hard. best of luck to all the parents out there…

Steph 12 months ago

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, AND THANK YOU!!!!! Thank you for being brave enough to say out loud what most of us NEVER would out of fear of judgement. I read this and it sounded so much like so many days of my life and I felt every emotion right there with you as I read it. I even shed a few tears of relief thinking of how I had said, done or wanted to do or say, everything you had. I always kept a large portion of this kind of stuff “hidden” and always felt so alone, thanks to you, AT LAST, the truth, I am so not! This made my whole morning, as mine was pretty much close to yours up until now.

L. Morningstar 12 months ago

Take the remote *away*.
Why does your 8 year old have a lock on her door?

Zookeeper 12 months ago

you are ABSOLUTELY not alone!!!! I think this happens to me on a daily basis! In fact I know it does. Every day I wake up and say to myself today WILL be different, I will keep it together, I will not yell at them! 30 minutes later…..I’m yelling :( my 12 year old son with adhd, my 9 year old son with extreme perfection issues, and my “oh do innocent” 7 year old son push me over the edge every day. And all this while hubby is out of town every week from Monday to Friday!!!

carol 12 months ago

I’m right there with you
last few days haven’t wanted to get out of bed
I’m overwhelmed and extremely unhappy
I feel so alone in this world
I have 3 girls who are wearing me down day by day ad a husband that I cant talk to

Jeni Welsh 12 months ago

Anyone who says they don’t have these days is either a liar or not a parent. I find these days happen more and more the older the kids get. I’m always the bad guy, making and enforcing the rules and the routine. I’m not super strict, but they need boundaries. We all do. Who gets thanks for setting boundaries? I don’t even want thanks, I just want less push back.

Veronika 12 months ago

Yes! A million times yes! Thank you, thanks you, thanks you. Some days I feel like I am the only mother who just looses her shit sometimes. I love my kids with all my heart, but you definitely hit the nail on the head. This is an emotionally taxing, exhausting job.

Diana 12 months ago

It is the hardest thing we will do, and being responsible to raise the human race will never be an easy job. I have to commend all Moms who try to do the best job they can. I raised two daughters alone in life and they have grown into amazing women in the world. And it didn’t happen without losing it from time to time on my part. I too was raised by a strong woman who was very strict and my siblings and I turned out to be good respectful people . It is stern Mom that gets the job done right not the pushover who uses the parenting path of least resistance. You ladies are not alone!!!

Teegan 12 months ago

1. You are doing a great job of trying your best. Congrats on not spanking or giving up!
2. Uninstall the locking door handles. They never help and kids don’t need that kind of privacy. Also, giving the 14 year old hard to shop for kid a locking door handle for their birthday is an easy present.
3. Take the remote batteries with you. They stay in my bra. It also keeps the TV off stupid adult shows while the kids are around! Terminator is on TV? Okay, hubby, get the kids in another room while I “find” the batteries.

MommySS85 12 months ago

Oh yes, my two have this strange nothing that they will get what they want by saying ‘get me this’ or ‘go do that’…I stop in what I’m doing, give them a blank stare, and say, “what?? I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you–I only hear “may-I-please-do-this” and “can-you-get-me-that,” so TRY AGAIN! Lol

Veronica 12 months ago

I know the feeling well. After raising my 3 sons, I started all over again by raising 2 of my grandchildren since they was teeny tiny in diapers. I have seriously gone on strike. My grandmother gave me the idea. She, herself, went on strike, made a sign, and sat in a lawn chair in the front yard. When they don’t have a meal made, favorite clothes washed, lunch or snack to take to school, they eventually come around.

MommySS85 12 months ago

I agree! When I lose my temper in front of our 7 & 5 year old, I don’t cuss, but things come out like “you know better, it’s no longer an accident, it’s laziness!” and “if I have to tell either of you to eat your food, sit down, or lower your voice for the 10th time ib the last 15 minutes, Mommy’s going to flip out!!” I always feel like a terrible mother afterwards, but I’m learning not to beat myself up too much…I hug them, kiss them, tell them I Love You, and apologize for losing my temper, but in the same breath tell them “Mommy’s not perfect, and we will all get a temper every now and then. Don’t hit anyone when you’re angry, and don’t make any holes in the wall, and go on.”

Mandy 12 months ago

Thank you thank you thank you! My husband is gone coaching football all the time. I’m at home with the 4 boys. It’s just nice to know others feel the same. I swear this zoo just tunes me out. The 21month old is going to go to school swearing…lol! It’s amazing that they are angels for everybody else. Guess we are doing something right! I’ve got a lot to work on! You keep me going girl! God bless! Gosh I love my turkey boys!
Mandy and the Beautiful Zoo

Kaylee Odell 12 months ago

My son is only two and one huge stubborn hard headed child. But im thankful for the most part he is an awesome kid. My dilemma is as he progresses in age his temper will worsen, however I’ve became a bit harsh on him. When he falls I say get back up. When he wants to be carried I tell him you have two feet carry yourself. While some people would drop their jaw and say hes only two my response is yes but do you want a hand fed asshole dating your daughter?.. if I cripple my child into thinking woman are here to look after you hand and foot he will not be a gentleman.
Im trying to build a backbone for my child, he is more than capable of handling the word no.I really enjoy reading mommy blogs because shit is real no new mother needs sugar coating. It is hard and demanding and a giant smack in your face at times.

Patty 12 months ago

Thank you very much for writing this article. I needed to know that I was alone. Having 2 teenagers in the house, a traveling husband and working full time, I go through the same issues and emotions frequently. After reading this article, I feel relieved. Thanks

Sarah 12 months ago

The exact same thing happened to me on Sunday evening. Thanks for posting. Glad I am not the only one. I wouldn’t change being a stay at home mom for anything, but it is challenging!

Lisa, North Carplina 12 months ago

God, yes. I feel you. Our solution after realizing they would NEVER choose to obey rules regarding the remote and any screens was to LOCK THEM IN A SAFE. Every day and night. It is a pain. But we have now set them up to succeed. So much negativity in our home has disappeared since we did this. But it’s the hardest job in the world. No doubt.

jason 12 months ago

Sounds like your husband needs to step up his game. You make it sound like you are a one man show. It’s parenthood, not motherhood. If your husband was worth a damn, you would have less trouble with kids and emotions. Motherhood is for single moms and they should be the only ones ever aloud to complain like you. In my parenthood, I too lose my shit, but my wife picks me back up and vice versa.

James 12 months ago

My other half is the calm one and I know she’s trying to help but she sends me articles written by perfect mums with perfect daughters calm as a lobotomised inmate. Obviously never had to raise a pair of feisty Celt boys. My eldest son is my mini-me – Emotional, fragile, hot-headed, loving and kind but quick to anger and very sharp. This means the mornig school run can be a total minefield, bed time a good time for tranq-darts. You’re not alone and thank you for admitting you lose it, I thought it was just me.

Mark 12 months ago

It’s all about building in strategies, persistence and giving (learning) kids their own responsibility in things in and around the house. Don’t only tell them that they have to do stuff, also explain why… I set boundries and within those boundries they’re free to do what they want and make their own choices. This learns them what consequences their choices have and, step by step, makes them aware that the can influence their lives themselves… And step by step I can wider the borders…

Robin 12 months ago

You’re not alone. My feelings put aptly into words. Thank you for sharing.

Nette 12 months ago

Ok – let me just say I saw the words “Scary Mommy” and I was hooked. I read this article and thought: This is what my husband never understands!!! I always knew I’m not alone and I’m glad to see other people lose their shit too…I feel lightly more normal than usual now. THANKS :)

Calley Haws 12 months ago

Wow. It was like reading my own journal practically. All I could think is, “mine aren’t even that old yet. Dear Lord help me in a few years.” My kids do things note and then that remind me what amazing little loveable creatures they are. But why does it feel like one of the loneliest jobs in the world when surrounded by people? Why does it feel like we are doing it all on our own? LOVED the article. Fabulous!

Nichole 12 months ago

I think we were twins separated at birth! It’s so refreshing to read about “real life” and not some fake-#ss Mom trying to be mother of the year. Please keep writing! You are an inspiration!

Amy 12 months ago

Amen sister. I feel ya.

K. Kennedy 12 months ago

I think I love you. You just summed up my whole life in one post. I lose it more than I like to admit, but goodness, is it too much to ask for a little gratitude, a little understanding? You are definitely not alone.

Elise 12 months ago

Hmmmm…just the other day I told my BFF that it would be more fulfilling to talk to a wall since no one in my house seemed to every respond to my requests. Yep, I’ve gone all Mommy Dearest on them a time or two also (minus the wire hanger). I have two daughters – both early teens and I’m telling you, it won’t be the last time I lose my shit all over the place. One mom can only take so much!

Chris 12 months ago

Yes! My thoughts exactly! Too many people complain and want sympathy for being a parent. I have a crazy eight year old kid, but I manage just fine without “losing it” and swearing and screaming… Yeesh!

Chris 12 months ago

Fatherhood is just as bad, but we aren’t allowed to “lose” it. You made the choice to have kids. Be adult enough to handle it, and intelligent enough to get your kids to do as you ask without screaming, threatening, and/or cussing. Next time take the remote with you. Our just unplug the tv if they disobey. Parenthood is all about cunning and outsmarting. Sorry for the harsh truth, but I think you need to hear it.

Bree 12 months ago

THANK YOU!!!! You took the words out of my mouth, the thoughts out of my head, and the exact feelings out of my heart. I felt like I was reading something I WROTE!!!! THANK YOU for making me not feel all alone. Thank you!!!!!! Bree(Mom to FOUR beautiful crazy boys!!)

WolfWillow 12 months ago

LMAO!!! … and you were apologizing for saying this!! :) Thanks much, and keep being a great mom :)

bryn 12 months ago

Whew! I thought I was the only one that felt this way. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

Angie 12 months ago

Many a time I have admitted to my partner that a big F U to motherhood is the totality of it !!!
I have 6 sons , and it has taken me 12 long years to finally realise that amongst all the shit that this mothering puts me through it Is actually ok to take a Mummy timeout !!!

Ali 12 months ago

Lol I turned my oldest’s doorknob around the first time she tried to lock me out.

Cindy 12 months ago

You are awesome for sharing this! I have flipped out on my kids many times and I feel ashamed afterwards too… But there is only so much you can take! Hang in there momma! You are not alone!

mommyof3 12 months ago

No judgment here momma I think every mom has been there I know I can say I have, I sympathize truly I do stay strong and hold your ground :)

Stacey 12 months ago

So why do we feel (or are made to feel) guilty when we lose our shit on our kids? Who are the moms that appear to have all of their shit together and how do I get some of that? I work over 40+ hours a week, provide entertainment, sports, basic needs and still get a big fat eff you from my kids on a regular basis. My stress reliever is hanging out with my friends with a coffee in hand shooting the breeze or watching a favorite show together ober a glass of wine…but not without a guilt trip. Thanks for making me feel like I’m not alone.

Jenny 12 months ago

You rock! You can only take so much.

susan 12 months ago

Probably but step dad wives can be pretty weird too…lol

vince 12 months ago

I am a single dad. The title of the article might be better off as: “Parenting: The big fat….”

Motherhood and Fatherhood, they aren’t so different if both parents are involved and active…

susan 12 months ago

I have no children but I have seen my sister go through the same crap. Honestly I don’t know how you mothers do are my heros! If you could look at it in a humorous didn’t want the kids to see bad language and violence on TV ? Sometimes you gotta laugh and I don’t think you should be ashamed at are human like every other mother out there..we all have our limits.

Ann 12 months ago

Oh God, yes! And if you say you haven’t been in these shoes, at least once (once a month with 3 teenagers in the house :-) , then you are lying to yourself. And yet, there are all these adults walking around, who survived their mothers rath … just saying…
Hugs and support!

Andrea 12 months ago

Such a great honest piece of writing. Thank you!

Megan 12 months ago

I lost it tonight. Absolutely went off on my husband because I can’t seem to get through to the kids so why keep up the cycle of yelling and asking and reminding them? I’m not a maid a servant or your slave….. Yet that is exactly how I feel every day. Mt husband who bust he back every day for our family is nonexistent once he walks in the door at night and frankly I am tired of stomping around trying to get SOMEONE to realize that I could us a little help, be causing asking them to help doesn’t work. So I went off on my hubby. I yelled he yelled and I left. Because honestly If I had stayed I would have said some nasty things that weren’t true and he wasn’t even listening to what I was REALLY SAYING. It’s a daily struggle to make it until bedtime. But I love them so I continue on.

Heather 12 months ago

I totally agree with this to the fullest!!!! Glad to know I am not the only one.

willa 12 months ago

This is my everyday feeling with a 4yo boy and a brand new baby. My 4yo knows no tv during the schoolweek but everyday nauseatingly over and over – can i watch tv? Can I watch tv? Can I watch tv? Or descending into a wail or full blown tantrum I WANT TO WATCH TEEEE VEEEEE……. Why can’t everyone, husband included, just co-operate? Dead on with the husband being away so much! You are brave to be mothering 7 kids!!!!!

Kelly 12 months ago

This was so refreshing. I have been parenting for over 20 years and get very tired of the picture perfect moms out there. I know this is often a “show” but I find myself giving a mental eye roll. Life is messy. Parenting is messy. I am still winging it! And I still have “fuck you” days!!

Connie Freckleton 12 months ago

oh, honey! I know exactly how you feel! You can’t be a parent without going on the guilt wagon several times a week! I had preemie twins with mild cerebral palsy when my son was 3 years and 8 months. Stress? Oh, yeah. My poor son took a back seat to the cute little twins, and did everything to get noticed. He became a great liar and manipulator. I told him I hated him twice when he was just little. What a shitty mom! My one daughter bit until she was 12. Seriously. I had a “nervous breakdown” or something similar when they were 12 and 9. (i had a realization that I’d been molested as a kid.). I barely functioned for about a year and a half. I was a yelling machine! Guess what? They are 28 and 24, and have forgiven me! Better yet, they are wonderful, honest, productive people-all just really healthy loving people! I thank God and my wonderful husband for loving me through some really atrocious behavior on my part. Don’t have any idea how I made it, but I did. My husband and I also helped raise our granddaughters for 2 years. Our son trusted me with his kids! My son has sole custody of his girls and even adopted his ex-wife’s daughter whom he didn’t father! Did he turn out great? YES!! My kids are such a blessing. Youwill be just fine. They will be just fine. Just one thing: don’t be afraid to take away the TV from your kids if they don’t respect your TV rules. They have to learn consequences. Hugs to you!

Paula 12 months ago

Why would you have locks on a door that a child can use from the inside.

Jenn 12 months ago

I hear ya. I have 3 girls and not a day goes by when I don’t wanna give at least one up for adoption lol. Girls are bitches.

Nina 12 months ago

I had a similar meltdown last night. I had taken away my daughter’s Nintendo DS (cue end-of-the-world theme song here) and put it in the trash because she had treated it LIKE trash for the umpteenth time and left it out on the floor and I stepped on it (think stepping on Leggos). Apparently she had gone outside to take it OUT of the trash and hid it in her room. Found it last night and blew a gasket, smashing the shit out of it on the tile floor in the hallway.

Thankless job indeed. There are the precious moments, and those moments I document in my journal because they are getting fewer as she gets older. I was feeling like a complete failure until I read this and now I feel less alone. Thank you.

Yvonne 12 months ago

Sweetie hang in there…someday you’ll have grandkids and as your kicked back drinking your coffee and watching your children go through it with their kids, that’s when having children really pays off.

Jenny 12 months ago

You hit the nail on the head! I love the raw truthfulness of this article! Now I don’t feel so alone.

Yvonne 12 months ago

Hang in there lady’s…someday you’ll have grandkid’s. lol

Kandi Law 12 months ago

Thank you more than I can say! Lately I have felt like a terrible parent, I just want to look my kids dead in the eye sometimes and ask ” Who fucking cares? I don’t” but of course I do care! Which is why I have been raising 4 kids, 19, 16, 13, and 12 years old! I may not be perfect, but I luv those crazy buggers!

Emily 12 months ago

Thanks for sharing and making me feel like I’m NOT alone !! I totally agree with the NOT needing or wanting a THANK YOU just the simple do as i say please without any fuss would be great!!

Kaci 12 months ago

Really I thought I was reading a description of teaching. This is what teaching is like only multiplied by 20 or 30. So next time anyone feels like giving your kid’s teacher hell, take that into consideration. Because on top of all this, teachers don’t have the same love for your kids that you have, so it’s harder to want to show grace.

Anna Parker 12 months ago

i feel ya sista! I actually ran away from home because I was so angry, unappreciated and had enough. After screaming at the child and hubby I got in my car and drove 2.5 hours to my mother in law and cried for two days and spent time getting advise and compliments on what a great mom and person I am. Went home and now when I start to get at the end of my rope my child asks me if Im going go run away again and starts crying! Try it sometime it will make a believer out of them!

adriana 12 months ago

I lose it at least once a year.

Laura 12 months ago

You are not alone in this at all. Well said. Well said. Cooperation would definitely make everything a million times better. Thanks for this post

Marcy Shortuse 12 months ago

This. Yes. This. Thank you.
And to all the people out there who have one negative thing to say … Bless your hearts.

Treecy 12 months ago

Thank you for sharing. I cried when I read it out of pure relief that I am not the only mom who has done this. I’m surrounded by competitive women who would never admit their truth. I love you for this.

Tammie FOley 12 months ago

Oh get off the cross already. Being a mom isn’t up there with martyrdom, no more than being a lawyer or a doctor or a lunch lady or a social worker.

This woman sounds like she wants a freaking medal for being absolutely average.

Tammie FOley 12 months ago

I suggest the author get the hell over it. Kids are shits. If you’re not intelligent enough to know that going in, you probably shouldn’t have kids. Hell, even kids know kids are shits, did you suddenly forget that at some point????

Kids dont act that way to be irritating, they act that way because their brains are developing, they don’t have the ability to make the ‘right’ choices.

This mom needs to get over herself. Being a mother is no better (or worse) than any other profession a woman chooses, if you want to be held up on a pedestal for following biology, you’re in the wrong era.

Tammie FOley 12 months ago

I suggest the author GTF over it. Kids are shits. If this is a surprise, then you shouldn’t have kids. They don’t behave this way to be irritating, they do it because their brains aren

Kelly 12 months ago

You are doing a great job. My husband is in the military and gone 50 percent of the time so I hear ya! If you want to solve a plethora of your problems, homeschool! The kids learn most of their negative attitudes/language/disrespect from being at school. There’s no rushing around in the mornings, no waking babies from naps to pick kids up, no hurrying through the evenings to finish homework and make it to bed in time. Life is just slower and more relaxed. Best wishes!

jen 12 months ago

Everything u said is so true…many mom put a fake mask on as how wonderful everything seems. I am glad to have someone who is opening up to the truth of motherhood. I literally cried reading your blog. Thanks for writing

Michele Grzywacz 12 months ago

And this is exactly how mother’s do their job….over and over and over, the same thing day after day. It is only the mothers that think it is too hard, or too taxing or takes too much of their time that give up instructing, directing, teaching, repeating punishing, hugging that fail. Your child only becomes a responsible adult if you are a role model and demand that he/she follow the rules when their natural instinct is to run amok like wild animals. I see so many children whose parents have given up, or worse, make a rule and immediately let the child break it with no consequences. Those children are the misbehaved, obnoxious unlucky ones, Yours are the lucky ones!

mommy of 3 12 months ago

I have had these exact moments, including the locked door and I had the same human reaction. They are wonderful kids and I am grateful to be raising them but sometimes I wish I could say something once, or even twice, and be listened to. I only hope that they store the important lessons somewhere that they will access later when it’s really important because they surely aren’t using them now

Alison 12 months ago

Try being a step mom. Even more thankless. You do so much and the mom who is lazy and barely provides for her kid get all the credit. Ugh.

Noelle 12 months ago

Never feel bad for putting the truth out there for the rest of us. Thank you for an honest reflection of what most of our homes are like every day!

Veronica 12 months ago

I can relate!!! I have three boys of my own and two foster siblings (a boy and a girl). I have come to believe that you have to have those melt downs in order to keep your sanity as well has keeping the order around the house. My children (including the foster children) are all grown now and moved out (for the moment) but I still have to have the melt down now and again because no matter how old they get when they are together they can still bicker, argue and whine and tattle! I think the best part now is that I can sit back and watch my grand-kids do the same things to them and when they have a melt down I just say “Now you know why I use to have melt downs!”
So don’t feel alone because you aren’t. I think every mom has been where you are at least once or twice.

JoAnna 12 months ago

Thank god its not just me!! Lol. I know that there are other mom’s out there struggling with the basics too, but it’s so nice to have proof. I lose to tight grip on self control every once and a while (my kids may say often) but it happens. A person can only be pushed so far. We all just want to raise well mannered, respectful, caring, compassionate human beings. Is that too much to ask!? But I realized it’s most important they are like that when it really school, at functions..etc. Cause it’s not happening at the grocery store.

Thank you for making me feel a little less like the evil mom today : )

Carissa 12 months ago

Amen! And Amen! And did I say Amen!? This is my life on the daily, at one point taking that “don’t you dare lock that door on me!” thing to a whole new level. (I got out the screw driver and removed the damn doorknob…and didn’t give it back for a year). We’ve all been there and because most of us haven’t run away kicking and screaming (yet), we will be there again…in our pajamas, at school with our kid’s lunch in hand because they left the house without it. Again.

Annie 12 months ago

It sounds like you’re not coping very well and need some more support at home to manage. Your children were being naughty but your reaction was inappropriate and you run the risk of damaging your relationship with them long term. You clearly need more help. I don’t think it’s right to just vent, just because a lot of people feel stressed, doesn’t mean what is happening is right. I’m not saying you’re a bad person but you need to consider that your actions/reaction was more out of line than your children’s.

mackie 12 months ago

Oh yes. Been there, yelled, chased and done that. I have gone back and apologized to my son for losing it. Love the robot analogy. BIG SIGH. Try to keep calm and mother on.

Crystal 12 months ago

Well I feel the same mine r 19 17 16 but if ur making sure they rnt watch trash on TV all the swearing is worse I’m not downing u at all I have and still do it but after words I’m like I just talked worse then they did I wish there was a magic pill to make them listed and respect my decisions I am the mom that’s y is the answer they get when I get the but why good luck hope it gets better for u

Elizabeth 12 months ago

First of all, let me say I think anyone can lose it every now and then. That just makes you human. It’s not easy raising one kid, let alone a few.

But something you said stood out to me: you said you weren’t sure why you were writing about this and that it would surely open the door for criticism. This struck me because I believe the best writers do just that: open themselves up to public ridicule to present material that those not wagging the fingers can really relate to.

I really enjoyed reading this because it was honest and familiar. It was something I could relate to, something someone else may not have shared for fear of how they’d look.

Heather 12 months ago

Thank you for writing this. This is so true and you’re right, we don’t like to talk about it. I lost it last week. It’s is so hard to stay composed. I know I shouldn’t, but I feel used, hated. I don’t think my children really feel that way, but when you’re so exhausted and giving your all to everyone, sometimes you lose it.

Esdras Santana 12 months ago

You are not in the least bit alone! The other morning I just slammed the bedroom door, jumped into bed, pulled the covers over my head and had a good cry. I just felt so unappreciated by my husband and children. Thank you for sharing a struggle that all moms have.

Tiffany 12 months ago

I’m always amused by new parents who think they are getting the hard part of parenting out of the way when their kids are babies. No, give me a screaming 2 month old over a cranky, rebellious tween, or a near-adult who thinks she should have total freedom while mom still pays her insurance and phone bill. At least babies are usually happy once you meet their needs.

Motherhood is a big fat fuck you, made worse by the expectation that having kids turns you into this glowing, spiritual, fulfilled creature who has control over your family and life. Looking at my Facebook feed I wonder if my friends just all have superchildren, if they just haven’t hit the rough patches yet, or if they’re lying liars who lie about their parenting lives. (I do notice the glowing seems to wear off around the time kids go to school. Someone should do a study.)

Peggy 12 months ago

You should’ve heard my meltdown today on the way to school. My daughter (I have a 9 y/o and a set of 6 y/o twins and she is one of the twins) decides she’s not going to wear a sweater on this 50* morning. So she gets in the van, and then her (twin) brother gets in a little later. She starts yelling because he opened the door and kicks him out (literally) and closes the door. All because she doesn’t want to be cold. I lost it. Seriously. But I’m not ashamed of it. I’m not perfect; no one can be chill all the time. If they are, they’re medicated.

Jennifer 12 months ago

Yes. It hurts to feel like the people I love most in this world don’t appreciate the things I do for them. A little cooperation would go so far to know that I’m appreciated for more than my ability to wash underwear and find things.

tonya 12 months ago

amen ! i think sometimes, about someone hearing my way-too-often rants about my kids treating me like an appliance or a piece of furniture. i must sound like a lunatic LOL but at least we’re not alone :) thanks for being real !

cjm82 12 months ago

I needed this! I have a husband who decided he needed a girlfriend and left, a teething 4 1/2 mo and a 6 yr old who is trying to get away with murder bc he knows his daddy won’t be coming home and punishing him.
I worry about being a bad mom and yelling at him when he tries to see what he can get away with and your post made me feel better. I’m not a bad mom, we all go through this. Thank you!

Lisa 12 months ago

How many kids do you have Chris? Oh, none?! That’s what I thought.

Lisa 12 months ago

Hey Nick, why are you on this page in the first place? Looking to start trouble, I’m guessing. You obviously have zero clue what you’re talking about since you aren’t a parent. You sound like a self-righteous turd. Go spread your condescending venom somewhere else, “kid”.

Amy Green 12 months ago

Basically we are the same person! It was like reading my exact experience and thoughts/feelings from a different person… Freaky. And for me I cancelled birthdays and Christmas! Your completely right. You don’t want accolades or nominated for mother of the year you just want someone respect and just do as their told so you do t end up in a mental ward. Thank you for voicing your definitely not alone (as I write this yelling at my kids for fighting…)

Lisa 12 months ago

Been there, done that, with more then a few F bombs thrown in to let them know I was serious. This is seriously the HARDEST job I’ve ever done, and I think its so hard because I want to get it right, whatever right is….been doing it for 17 years and 3 months, somethings get better, but some really don’t, l just looking forward to the day I can go to there house and leave all the lights on and not replace the toilet paper and leave my dishes in there sink…..I’m sure I wont do any of that, but a mom can dream can’t she…

Lisa 12 months ago

Omg, totally needed to see this today- I’m RIGHT there with you girl. I too, feel like the only shithead yelling, threatening mother sometimes. So thank you, for reassuring us all that there are others out there who go through this too. I think it’s as hard as it is because we truly care and don’t want to make any mistakes. And then we just snap. Like, really snap. And it’s scary as heck for everyone. I’m gonna say an extra prayer for us all tonight. 😉

Cherilynn 12 months ago

I only have 2 also, Angie and I too would be committed if I had another – boy or girl!

Don’t beat yourself up too much, please. It is completely understandable to lose your mind once in a while

Kate 12 months ago

I don’t know how you crawled into my head and pulled out my thoughts, but you did. I love my kids all the time but I absolutely dislike them some of the time. Because they can be ungrateful assholes. Your honesty is so refreshing – thank you for being real.

Kelli 12 months ago

Thank you so much for sharing your story!! I feel exactly the same way at times. Today I had “straw that broke the camel’s back” moment. I felt ashamed for over reacting & know I should have handled the situation better. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.

Susan Beeco 12 months ago

I removed my son’s entire door. Left it of for a week.
I have heard a few moms say (lie) ” I have NEVER screamed at my kids”. You are either a totally tuned out parent or a big fat lying bitch!

VermontGal 12 months ago

To some extent, I *do* think it’s healthy to have kids have a sense that Mom can be a terrifying force of Nature if pushed too far. Enough is sometimes ENOUGH!

And you have to forgive yourself for being overwhelmed and isolated, too. Mothers are really supposed to have a tribe, or a village, or an extended family compound to do the very hard work of raising children and do the other stuff too. Of course we’ll go crazy sometimes.

May I also make another suggestion? If the 8 year old can’t keep to your TV choices, simply turn it off for the day. No argument, no discussion. Click.

Also, I have the rule, “The show rating must match that of the youngest person conscious in the house.” So if that means the 8 year old can’t watch her Y7 show, (say, Spongebob) well tough turnips. The 16 year old also can’t watch the Hobbit, and you can’t watch The Walking Dead either is asleep either.

Stephanie 12 months ago

I love you so much right now!

NATASHA G. 12 months ago

I say to hell with it, sometimes it’s good to let them little jokers know the truth. Mommy is human and she has her limits too. I rarely lose my shit with my son because he’s all in all one of the best kids I’ve ever come across, some of it is my excellent child rearing&the rest is he was just born that way! I’m serious about this but nevertheless, when I do spazz, he totally responds. He’s remorseful&empathatic towards me because he knows for my Ma to act like that, I screwed up. Lose it every now&then, you’re allowed.

Jacqui 12 months ago

I’m hearing ya. I lose it at least once a day every day of the week. The reason…. my 16 y.o. You think 10 is bad? I have one of those too and a 13 y.o. But I am struggling to get through one day of no arguing with him, his attitude stinks and the sneering monster he’s turned into is turning me into mumzilla!

Melissa 12 months ago

I’m glad I’m not the only one who has lost it and had these exact same feelings!

Jessica Aldridge 12 months ago

Yes Yes Yes!!! I’m reading this while locked away in my bathroom. Yeah, they’re banging on the door and fighting, but I don’t have to let them in! Thank you for sharing!

MeToo 12 months ago

All I can say is holy shit, you are not alone. Thank you. Thank. You.

M&M’s Mommy 12 months ago

I commend you for opening yourself up like this and screw those people who criticize you. I can totally, absolutely, positively relate to this post. It feels as if I wrote it myself! This was me this past weekend. I lost my shit several times. And I gave my five year old the lecture of being unappreciated, being disrespected, and how I work hard to give him all of the nice things he has. I even went as far as saying something my parents used to tell my brother and I – “there thousands of kids all over that don’t have what you have and you should be grateful”. He looked up at me with his tearful eyes and just stared at me as if I just grew an extra head. He’s five for Pete ‘s sake! He doesn’t care and understand for that matter. He just wants his Damn cheerios and cartoons one. I’m tell him all the “I’M JUST ONE PERSON” and now he’s to the point of like “Yeah, yeah, your just one person but I just want some candy” who acres that my little 16 month brother is crying in between your legs because you wouldn’t let him place with the glass cleaner. Who cares that daddy wants some booty and won’t stop dry humping your leg. Who cares that you are the only one in this house that does everything! I just want me candy! And I get the part about the loneliness too. My husband works night shifts so he sleeps during the day and works all night. On the weekends, I’m on my own with both kids. Plus 3 nights out of the week I’m on my own then too. It does get lonely. And I’m exhausted and sometimes I just feel like my husband’s hole. I don’t want to do it. I can’t let my mind wander to just popping one out real quick. Sorry, but that doesn’t turn me on. I read an article recently about spoiling your husband, not with material things, but with love an affection. While I do agree and sometimes he is neglected, but what about me. I work 40 hours a week, I run my household, I am the everything to my boys and husband. Who’s going to spoil me? Being a mom is one of the most hardest jobs out and I know I’m not perfect. But when I do lose my shit, I lock myself in the bathroom for a few minutes, get it together, and apologize to my babies. Why? Because mommies are the everything’s and while I do want my kids to know I’m not perfect, but that doesn’t mean I can’t own up to my mistakes and try harder. And the best thing about it, is they still love you unconditionally and my oldest will say it’s ok mommy with a pat on the back and an I love you and that is enough for me, sometimes. But then we are right back at it “how many times do I have to tell you to stop sitting on your brother’s head!”.

Gabriel 12 months ago

It’s not just moms who lose their shit, dads do too. I’m living proof of that and I feel terrible when I erupt and make my son cry because I scared him but I can only say something so often and hear no before I snap.

Karin Quinn 12 months ago

You read my mind. This is my life most days. It is so emotionally taxing to continue doing and doing and feel so unappreciated. Before my divorce earlier this year, it was even worse because there was one more person in the house that I felt as acting the same way. Sometimes I think I am a horrible mom because I just lose it. There is that straw that breaks the camels back and I don’t want my kids growing up and remembering that mom always yelled and was in a bad mood. So stressful. Just hope there are enough good times to outweigh the emotional outbursts I have days like you did today. Thanks for writing this.

MDeBord 12 months ago

Story. Of. My. Life.

Jamie 12 months ago

Oh yeah, been there done that like 1000s times. The only difference is the hubby is around but basically the worst offender out of all 6 of them (five kids and him). It’s almost to the point sometimes that screaming is the only way anyone in my house get’s mom means “NOW”, not tomorrow or next week. Sigh, being the only responsible party with a full time job, full time school, five kids and a house literally falling apart around me (toilet broke, washer broke, lawnmower broke, vacuum broke, floor in the bathroom is too uneven to put a new toilet in, and the electrician who is re-wiring the house (because that broke too), saw a couple roaches (ewwwww, thanks neighbors who just tented their house next to us… guess where their critters went), and reported it to our landlord who is now expecting a couple $1000 invoice from us from an exterminator, like yesterday. Meanwhile the kids are still eating all over the damn house, so is hubby, no one is listening, and mom is on the verge of a mental collapse. Just same ol same ol over here… motherhood rocks! Or maybe sometimes, I’d just rather eat rocks.

Carol 12 months ago

Well said sister. You are far from alone

maggie 12 months ago

Moms are human and can lose their temper just like anyone else. Learning to forgive yourself and ask for forgiveness is a lesson we can all work on. Hang in there.

Tab 12 months ago

I feel the same way every. single. day! I’m a single mom of 4 boys, ages 16, 15, 9,and 7. Anytime I give them chores to do or ask them to do something, it turns into an episode of CSI. “Whose sock is this? Who dropped this on the floor? Who had this plate? Who peed on the seat?” I just want to run away and never come back. Lbvvs. I know that kids by nature are selfish. But you’d think at some point they’d just do the job and stfu!

Lisa 12 months ago

I had the same exact moment 9 months ago when my 11 year old daughter pushed my every last button, her father and I have never been able to co parent it is his way or no way, he spoils her rotten where I try to show her self respect and morals. To her dad is her hero due to all the gifts he showers her with while I work two jobs . Her father has turned my daughter against me and on Feb 23 this year (my birthday) I couldn’t take any more of my daughters insults towards me. I pulled my car over and screamed at the top of my lungs to give me her phone (new I phone courtesy of dad) I told her to stop acting like ( something I regret deeply) but just felt so hurt and betrayed – come to find out she recorded me and dad called cps for the 5th time ( all have come back unfounded) ran to the courts to get a restraining order and temp custody ( which they grant to the party that files) it has been 8 months and I haven’t seen or spoke with my daughter the court system is in no hurry to reunite us I have no history of abuse with her it’s a simple case of dad manipulation so I understand completely when enough is enough

beth 12 months ago

thank you for your openness and honesty. It is such a comfort to know I’m not alone in the universe. For a moment I thought you had been peeking in on my life. The scripts of your morning and too many of mine are almost identical. Stay strong. you are doing great. We all are.

Rhonda 12 months ago

I lost my mind so many times over the 27 yrs in took to raise my 4 kids. Motherhood is so incredibly complicated to begin with and when the Littles are at that “age” it is so so so hard to maintain composure. You are in the company of millions of women all of us with our heads in our hands asking for sanity and serenity and I imagine forgiveness. Chin up though, these days pass and the children grow into people who melt your heart and have children of their own, and they get to experience “I lost my mind today” from your perspective.

rebecca 12 months ago

PLEASE. The only mommies i feel bad for are the ones too broke or busy to blog about these trivial upsets. THIS IS MOTHERHOOD. suck it up.

Becca Andrews 12 months ago

Thank you for sharing the feeling that every mom feels sometimes! Motherhood is the hardest! Just take a deep breathe and remember to thank your mother for dealing with you lol good luck and don’t beat yourself up, you are not alone

Cristina 12 months ago

A thousand times YES. My 4yo did the run to his room and lock the door like a week ago when I lost my mind over his smart ass attitude. I shouldn’t lose it, I know. It’s just a huge relief to read things like this to show I am not alone and my kids aren’t unusual. I never EVER allow TV in the morning. It is a shit show already, without the TV distracting them.

Silvia 12 months ago

For a moment there I asked myself when the heck I’d written this article. We are not alone, we just don’t have time (or energy) to notice…..

Casey 12 months ago

why not just hide the remote or take it with you? I’m not judging. I’m just offering a possible solution. I could never raise 7 kids so hats off to you for all that you do unappreciated.

Lilly 12 months ago

OMG, that is me at least once a week and I only have 2 girls. I take the remote with me sometimes, I tried hiding it and forgot where I’d put it. I shout and then feel so guilty.

frazzledmama 12 months ago

I have two little kids whom I love


they also sometimes drive me nuts.

steph 12 months ago

Thank u for not making me feel like I’m utterly alone in this. There are days I drive to work in tears because I can’t believe I was SO angry over things that seem so trivial a half hour after it happens. But ur right, it’s not about what happened it’s about how many times it happens and everyone’s disregard for ALL the things we do….in silencertain

Sarah 12 months ago

Oh my God! Literally everything you said was exactly how I feel! And I’ve only got two kids. Actually I have one daughter..and a stepson who Does Not Listen or Respect Me At ALL… I love them both to the ends of the Earth, but damn… some days you just lose it. I think it’s better to discipline them than to just let them do whatever. They may not like me at that moment, but when they get older they will know how to act.

Deirdre1122 12 months ago

Yes, yes a thousand times over! My wife and I have those same battles with our 3 kids–and the television battle is one I have every, single, morning with the 10-year-old. Lately getting daily and weekly chores done has been a nightmare. These kids (15, 10, and 7) have had chores their whole lives, but every day act as if we’ve thrown some new horrible requirement at them. Wtf??? Solidarity, sister!

CrazyMommie 12 months ago

You are NOT alone. I think every mother goes through this at least once a week. There was a point during my husband’s recent 5 week out of town training that I called my mom EVERYDAY crying because I felt totally incompetent as a parent… and this is coming from someone who no more than 1 year previously was a single parent of 2 kids for 7 year! It became obvious how much I had come to depend on my husband to help me keep the kids in line. I was a wreck! Lol. With that said, no judgement here. I learned screaming doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom…. it means you’re human and the kids need to understand that. If no one else is, you are freaking entitled to a tantrum every now and then. And let the kids see it… my oldest son has seen enough of “crazy mommy” to know not to cross me much anymore. At this point, I don’t care if he’s listening out of fear or love as long as the room gets clean. Lol… they know you love them regardless of the melt down.

Samantha 12 months ago

you’re soooo not alone in this one. For me though my husband IS home and I still feel alone and a piece of meat all at the same time. The only thing I ever feel appreciated for is sex….. :/

colleen 12 months ago

If that’s how you speak to your kids – then kids on TV using the word “idiot” is really the least of your problems. Wait till you get the call from school about them cussing. Just saying.

Charity 12 months ago

Anyone who criticizes this is not a mother, delusional, or lying (or a combo). THIS is exactly what I go through every day. Thank you for voicing it and making the rest of us feel like we’re not alone!

Laura 12 months ago

You are not alone! Anyone who judges you harshly is FULL OF IT.

Laura 12 months ago

You are NOT alone and if anyone says anything negative they are bullshitting!

Tracy 12 months ago

I feel like that EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE! I try to make it all work and it just doesn’t. My husband is, bless his heart, the biggest slob on this freaking planet! Yesterday, I cleaned out his work van so I wouldn’t be the trash lady rolling up into church or grocery store (since my car is still broken down after how many MONTHS?!).. Today, can he look for the drawings for the current project? Why of course not, how ridiculous to think it! He calls me shouting that I must have thrown away the drawings or something, the drawings are at home and his project is over 100 miles away!!! Except they were under the passenger seat. My 11 year old daughter doesn’t understand WHY she can’t wear make up! Then I have my infant son…so sweet! He loves his Mommy! But when I need a beak, my husband says, “I don’t understand why you’re complaining, you chose this…yo want to be a stay at home mom. Shoot me!!! So, being a mom and. Wife a the big f you’s!

Karla 12 months ago

Amen sister!!! I have a six year old that thinks she is 16 a 2 year old who thinks she is the boss and a 3 month old sometimes it’s very overwhelming and the bomb explodes but even when we have that moment we still have our moment they need to know that too nobody is perfect!

Patti 12 months ago

Holy crap! This was me yesterday – but as I was actually trying to get them ready for CHURCH is when I had my meltdown. I have been feeling guilty ever since but at the same time knowing that me being sick (with virus they brought home) on top of of it all – I probably deserved the tantrum and them being yelled at once in a blue moon might actually be good for them. (At least that is what my guilty conscience is telling myself). Sadly I feel better knowing it is not just me. Thank you!

April C. 12 months ago

I never comment on blogs and this is the first one of yours I have ever read, but this absolutely is me. Same. Exact. Thing. My husband too is gone a lot for work for long stretches of time. He is currently booked for work straight through til Thanksgiving and in my state the month of November means little to no school for the whole month. I’m having anxiety already. Moms aren’t perfect and people should stop expecting us to be. It is exactly as you described it. It is emotionally exhausting all the freaking time. I despise these moms that act like their kids are perfect, they never have a bad moment, and life is one big party all the time because their kids are so cute. Mine aren’t. They are horrible, they act out, they disobey and sometimes I’m just trying to make it til bed time. We just spent thousands of dollars on a Disney vacation for my 4 year old to hate just about every minute. If anyone was in Fantasy Land last Saturday at 8pm you would have seen me screaming at the whole crew. Good times!!!

Inger 12 months ago

This . 100%. My hubby travels half the time, leaving me with 5 kids ranging from 2-11, one of them autistic and 2 ADHD. I have keep my windows closed some days because I don’t want the neighbors to hear me screaming at them when they have pushed all of my buttons for the absolute last time. We are human, and can only take so much…

crystal 12 months ago

I have been there so many times and I only have 1!!! I know kids are smart and they find their way around things but maybe take the remote with you when you leave the living room. Just one suggestion to one issue. I know, there are a lot more.

S 12 months ago

I’m printing this out and hanging it on my fridge (blacking out certain words). Let’s see who in my uncooperative family bothers to read it.

Ashley 12 months ago

How brave you are indeed! But I think unless you have a stepford child – we’ve all felt this way. We’ve lost our identities as mamas and had new ones created. But I know personally , I have moments where I just want to be able to go anywhere without leaving in tears. And it seems so easy for the children to just – for once- do what I say. Just once. I’m going on almost 10 years of being a mother and have cried to the point I had plastic surgery on my eye lids 2 years ago b/c of what has happened over the years of crying. I cry when I get frustrated … therefore had eye lids falling over my lashes from years of waking with swollen lids from crying myself to sleep.

Thank you for your honesty. in the end we do all ‘get it’. and love our babies. but the frustration felt when you can’t get a win (or respect) can bring you to your knees. thank you for being so real.

Heather 12 months ago

Thank you 100000 times for writing this and putting into words my thoughts EXACTLY!!

Tonya 12 months ago

All real mothers have had these moments. My favorite thing to tell mom’s to be is that having children is the best and worse thing you could do to yourself.

Trina 12 months ago

i have so been there, and will again I’m sure. Thank you for your honesty and such a well written piece.

jessica316 12 months ago

It doesn’t matter if you are a step mom or a mom really step mom’s have it just as hard as biological mom’s some times it’s even harder to get respect. I have 4 boys and I lose it on the regular, but after repeating the same thing 15 times in less the 20 mind you tend to flip you lid.. At the end of the day I still give my lovins say sweet dreams an do it all over again the next day..

Rachel 12 months ago

THANK YOU FOR sharing this, and letting me/us know that we’re not alone. A million times yes. It’s so hard so much of the time, and sometimes the only time I feel like i love my kid is when she is sleeping, and isn’t incessantly calling my name, and saying, I want…..I need.

Natalie 12 months ago

I get a hearty FU all the time..I feel the same way you do…LOVE NOT feel guilty…:)

Meg 12 months ago

Yes! I agree with all of this 1000%. This motherhood thing is tough and I too have had my share of flip outs on my children and am never proud of it, but I can only take so much. Keep doing what you’re doing, one day they’ll appreciate us…. Right???

Ashley 12 months ago

This. Right. Here. x100

Tatsuyuri 12 months ago

Over 1,000 times yes. This describes every evening, morning, weekend – just yes. I haven’t read through all the comments because I’m at work and don’t have the time but Jesus H. Christ, I feel like the only time ANYONE listens is when I pitch a big flaming fit. I have four (14, 12, 9, and 5) 3 boys, 1 girl and:
1) I would have 3 more boys before another girl. OMFG – breakdowns galore that I absolutely can’t relate to so feel horribly inadequate or potentially born as the wrong gender cuz, for real, this shit didn’t happen to me.
2) That being said – wtf boys? Really? No you may not actually beat each other with the wooden swords, yes you have to wash your hands after you pee whether you touched it or not, and no, the underside of your bed is not synonymous to ‘hamper’.
I love the cuddles and moments of sanity – but those are few and far between so, usually, I’m running like a lunatic until I get to work and then there is slightly less lunacy and then it starts all over again when I get home. *HEADDESK*
And then they wonder why the fridge has 3 bottles of wine in it at all times.

Kelli 12 months ago

Screw any negative feedback or judgement! Been there often, and it is so wonderful to hear other moms lose it, face the feelings of WTF, and feel the emotional drain too. Thank you!

Kira 12 months ago

Amen to this. I get so flipping irritated when moms pretend that everything is rainbows and unicorns all the time. I just want to tell them to shut the f*ck up. You’ve just said what we’ve all felt. I myself have a defiant 8 year old and sometimes I swear he does stuff just to see how far he has to push before Mom goes bat shit crazy and totally loses it. Glad I’m not the only one who feels this way! Let’s face it…kids can be little a-holes sometimes, am I right?

Jessica Smith 12 months ago

We have 7 ranging from 17-3 and this blog is spot on for us. We also have special needs tossed into the mix just to make things interesting. I’m glad we are finally to the place where we can speak about these issues because it is NORMAL. Being a mother is a tireless, thankless job that can only be summed up as the big “Fuck You”. At least we can find comfort in knowing it is not just you lol.

Gina 12 months ago

Thank you. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t have these feelings and I am the only one. Reading this makes me feel less alone in that aspect. I give you the fuck yeah fist pump high in the air and a hug. Xoxoxo

Cassandra 12 months ago

Thank you for being brave enough to post this. I know exactly how you feel. I was so afraid I was the only one. You are awesome. *awkward stranger hug* Thank you

Vicki P. 12 months ago

Like you and many others, I feel so much better knowing I’m not alone. I only have one child and can barely keep it together most of the time.

Dollie 12 months ago

I’ve done this a few more times than I’d like to admit. You are not alone. We have ALL do be it

Stephanie 12 months ago

You hit the hammer right on the nail! We are human, we lose our shit sometimes. Despite all we know, we make mistakes and I think in a way it shows the kids that that includes parents too (for as much as we never want them to know that). I do have one question though…why not take the remote with you while you’re finishing whatever you need to do before you leave? Set the channel and keep the remote in your hand/pocket/leave it somewhere where she can’t find it (I’m a fan of the dresser drawer).
I’m sure that only opens the door for another child’s tantrum about something else, but it may solve the above problem :)

Mama2my9 12 months ago

OMGH!!!You are a fly on the wall at my house! This. Is. EXACTLY. The .Kind. Of. Crap. I deal with every single day! I love my hubby and kiddos; don’t get me wrong, but my, oh, my, if you would just put the toilet seat down or put your dishes in the dishwasher after a meal, or put your shoes on the shoe rack in the garage, you would be spared my incessant screaming and hollering at you!!!! SMH!! Thank you THANK YOU for sharing what we are all thinking but rarely have the guts to say out loud!!!

Sarah 12 months ago

Thank you. I’ve had the shitiest evening which resulted in me losing my shit at my two children and I’ve been bawling over it for hours since they’ve gone to bed. Pregnancy hormones have kicked in and I feel guilty as hell! Glad that I’m not alone. It really helps.

Jan 12 months ago

I’m amazed we all don’t lose it more often. You are not alone.

Heidi 12 months ago

Best. Post. Ever!!

Patricia 12 months ago

Try being a teacher in a room with 25 or more darlings. When you lose it you can still keep your job. We have to hold it in until our 20 minute lunch when we can vent to our peers. Or risk a reprimand for addressing the behavior in class. Can’t hurt the self esteem of the darlings.

KD 12 months ago

Crazy thing about stumbling across this post, My MOM (60+) posted it on her fb page! She has several adult step kids, my sister (40) is not on fb, and me (43). How am I supposed to take this? And the hugely ironic thing about this post, is you can apply all of it to the various stages of dealing with aging parents and eventual caregiving just the same as you can relate to it as a mom. I didn’t think I was gonna survive as a mom when I got to the college application process of our son’s senior year in high school. Even though we got a hold of this parenting book like 20 years late in the game, our son is still alive and wonderful and I might get through empty nesting without strangleing my aging mom after reading this life saver parenting book, Danny Silk’s “Loving Your Kids on Purpose.” Bold & Honest regarding Taking Respons-ibility for Choices at Any Age. Grace for us all ‘eh?!

Susan 12 months ago

The worst part (other than going through it at the time) is the feeling like crap & being on the defensive because of the judgment being spewed on you :(

Dana G 12 months ago

You are clearly not alone in this sentiment. I have two boys, 9 and 10, and a husband who travels for work. Once every couple of months, I lose my shit too. I don’t see my meltdown as a negative thing; I see it as providing my sons with valuable life skills for when they have wives who become mothers. It’s my duty.

Mark 12 months ago

Okay, I have a few problems with this post……first, where does this woman get off thinking that only mothers have this problem? Fathers do too….that is those of us who actually stuck around to raise our kids. The other thing that I would point out is that the notes on the article say that she is raising 7 kids….well, whose fault is it when you have sensory overload from being pulled in all those different directions? You couldn’t have told your husband NO after #2 or 3? finally, I personally hate when women use their husbands as weapons against their kids (wait until your father hears about this!) So now we not only have to deal with your ranting about how hard being a mother is but now we are the bad guy in the discipline scenario? Not in my house you wouldn’t! You can either suck it up, do your job or move the hell out!

Stefanie 12 months ago

I feel this way more often than not. I feel like all I do is repeat myself, yell, and cry. Motherhood can be great but other times I think, “What the hell did I do?”.
I have 3 girls ages 9, 7, and 6, I go to school, and work full-time. I feel like when things get out of control, I am the one on responsible for the house being a wreck. I would love to come home to a clean house.

Amanda 12 months ago

The mom that wrote this is a fucking bitch, so yea this story get a big Fuck you!

Stephanie 12 months ago

I love it!!!! Hahaha! How wonderfully refreshing. I can be uber scary mommy too. Ok whatever, I’ll pay the therapy bill later on…

Jennifer 12 months ago

Why limit your kids television when they see that behavior up close and personal? And then you complain about the meltdowns each one of your kids had when you set the example. Yes motherhood is hard but you’re the grown up here. Act like it.

Shaunna 12 months ago

Omg I totally feel like this! I have 4 kids, 3 step children ranging from ages 5-9 and a 4 month old daughter and a fiancé (prob the biggest child of them all). I never feel appreciated, and apparently I don’t have a hard job at all according to some. I never get any help except occasionally from the 9 year old. After a days work, my man comes home and sloths himself onto the couch and I’m supposed to take care of everyone. To have the house clean, cook and what unpack our house (cause we just moved) and (wait, here’s the kicker) rub my man down cause he’s sore….after getting everyone in bed….lmfao ya sure honey right on that…sometimes I just feel so alone so it helps that others feel the way I do… Thanks for this :)

JD 1 year ago

Totally agree. After night after night of kids turning up their noses and pushing plates away uneaten, one night I quietly and unceremoniously quit. 9pm rolls around: “what’s for dinner?” Whatever you decide to cook kids. Meltdown. But f$ck if they didn’t mow down the next night.

Crystal Maren-Fontaine 1 year ago

When your 8 year old changed the Tv channel for the first time when you told her the rule was mom pickes the channel, what did you do? Did you just change it back and repeat yourself? If so, there is your problem. There has to be a concaquence for not listening. 8 is a lil old for time out but you can give an extra chore, write offs, say they can’t watch tv before school the next day, take something they like (for a day or 20 min or an hour) (tv video games etc..).
I have to tell you I have been there! And continue to be there randomly when I forget that I need to stop talking and start doing. (Happens more often than I care to admit) I have been to the point where I flipped out about something my oldest was doing and have yelled something very close to what you did about how tierd I have to repeat myself! And I have felt the guilt afterwards, and told my husband “I have to get it together, if I had gave him the usual concaquence (chore box, random chores that take less than 5 min he draws from) when he started talking back on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, then I would not be yelling at him on Friday because he would have done it on Monday and after he was corrected for it I would have taken a break from the talking back before he did it again (in most cases they will always try to do it again, but not nearly as much).”
It’s amazing what consistent structure can do for your children and your peace of mind! If I am repeating myself over and over it’s because I never gave a realistic consequence the after my boys did something I have already told them not to. It’s amazing what a 3-4 min chore can do to remind a child not to do something! (Sweep the entry way, wipe down dinning room table, clean bathroom sink…)
It’s hard to stay on it when ya got a million things going on, but it does work! :) I can defanantly tell a diffrence when I slack on my game and when I’m on point!

Helen 1 year ago

Ladies, meltdowns are a part of the job :) and they are good for ya, holding it in when the volcano is about to erupt is just not good for your soul!
I’m mom to two grown boys, who are now strong, healthy ,handsome hardworking young men. Both mid 20’s. Both out on their own. I raised them from 8& 9 yrs old onwards alone after their dad and I split and he took the deadbeat dad route.
And! They love their mamma!
And believe me, when the day comes and you look back on their childhoods…the meltdowns just don’t count anymore. The door slamming, mouthy, disrespectful obnoxious monsters who were our children have grown up. And now the memories are 99% good ones. The way they used to smell when I pulled clean jammies over their wet freshly wash hair. The proud faces when they’d win/pass/triumph over whatever, and the first person they told was me.
I don’t remember the meltdowns, I don’t remember the frustrated tears on my face when I thought I just couldn’t handle the crap anymore.
Take pride in what you are doing, it’s hard, but the pay off is magnificent. Most of you are thinking yeah right, I’ve got a long way to go…but that’s not what i’m getting at.
I think what I’m trying to convey is, don’t beat yourselves up for losing it. Are you kidding…they are children….they are monsters :) and I’m a firm believer that a good meltdown is good for them too!
I can’t wait for grandchildren!

Mychael 1 year ago


Mary Ellen 1 year ago

This is not only spot on..but so funny! I am an actress and I am always looking for monologues. May I PLEASE use this as one? I read it for my husband and he loved it. It’s better than any I have come across. I will be anxiously awaiting your reply! And man did you get it right. Motherhood is the biggest F You sometimes . Thanks so much!

Aaron 1 year ago

Seems to me that your kids managed to become obnoxious little shits in spite of your efforts to prevent them from being influenced by poor TV role models. Of course I’m sure you must realuze how impossible it actually is to shelter them from such things. Their friends at school are going to be repeating all the “obnoxious” things that they see on TV regardless. By being so overly hard on your kids with your restrictions, you’re creating frustration for them, which in turns makes them lash out and disobey. Stop being such an overbearing crone.

donna 1 year ago

you can’t let this stuff get to you. take a deep breath. when your kids are 25 they will thank you, appreciate all you’ve done and respect you. promise!

Dee 1 year ago

Doug, did you ever think that maybe he does “Treat her like s*”? She probably wouldn’t have said it otherwise.

Dee 1 year ago

I have one of these once every 1.5 months. It happens and I think it’s good for them to realize that we can only take so much.

MonaLisa 1 year ago

I have (thank the Lord) only one he is now in his twenty somethings. Which I call the terrible two’s. This set of terrible two’s is a 100 times worse than the the terrible two’s the first time around. Now they are considered adults and there is not a damn thing you can do about it. You can’t put them in time out or tell them to go to their room or even spank them. I really don’t think all I have done for him which none of I minded. I enjoyed all the sporting events I even miss getting up at 4am for hockey practice. I even expected all the stuff that happens when kids are growing up. School was tough at times. But then 17 hit and it has been down hill from there. Is Motherhood really worth all of this stress and worry? Not really! Not at all. If what I know now I knew then…I would still be a virgin. I love my son as they say to the moon and back…but if I had a do over. NO children. Just me. It is just so sad that whatever you taught them is just wasted.

Amy 1 year ago

1. Keep the TV off before school and after school until homework and chores are done.
2. Block Nick, Nick Jr and the Disney stations from your TV. If you have a DVD player, this should pretty easy, done through the remote.

Trista 1 year ago

If I could write like you, I would write these exact words and feelings. THANK YOU!

Beverley 1 year ago

I have never read anything more honest, and sooooo bloody true before… Seriously… Sometimes I feel like my life is a warzone. Don’t get me wrong, I love my boys, but sometimes I feel like their favourite pass time is winding me up. As for answering questions, I feel like I am living an episode of mastermind, specialist subject “what happens next” …. it’s like Mom, where’s Dad, Mom what time will he be home, Mom, what’s for dinner, , Mom, where’s my gym gear….. and from the younger one it’s , Is Santa coming tonight, Am I getting a surprise, why am I not getting a surprise, why are you cleaning up, is Santa coming…. This is in June…. and when he doesn’t get the answer he wants he and a tantrum and starts it all over again…..I love my kids, but since I have become, wife, mother, cook, cleaner, nurse, taxi driver….. I have forgotten who I am anymore. :) x

Elizabeth 1 year ago

You are not alone and certainly not a dick. I wish I could say this doesn’t happen at my house at least once a month – where I am stomping out of the house for an alone drive to calm down! I think my girls are spoiled and unappreciative. I just got more strict and less fun! Oh well!

Tracy 1 year ago

Well, if the TV is a point of contention (which it sounds like it is) then it’s easy… what I did was remove the tv from the house for about 15 years. No cable, no satellite. Only APPROVED dvd’s when they EARNED the privilege of a tv back. No more problem. I would also take the door knob off. No Child will lock me out of a room in my house. I’ve taken the whole door off too and did not ever feel guilty about it. I’m the parent here. Oh and my kids grew up and are AWESOME with mad respect for others. :))

Tiffany 1 year ago

Thank you for making me feel a little less insane. As much as I hate that I sometimes feel this way, I’m really glad I’m not the only one. I love my kids beyond measure, but sometimes it’d be nice if I only had to tell them once.

Lori Washburn 1 year ago

Thank you I have major meltdowns more than I would like to admit after of course I feel guilty like the worst mother ever so glad I am not alone

Lisa 1 year ago

THANK YOU! You are definitely not alone and you have just made me feel better (At least for the moment) to know that I am not alone either. I feel on such a regular basis that I am failing epically at raising our boys…I don’t like the nasty words that fly out of my mouth when I am yet again not able to get them to do the things I feel are normal and not out of the realm of what should be expected of them. After reading book after book to find out what I am doing wrong or the next trick I can try to avoid my meltdowns I realize that I already do most of what they say…be consistent, make sure your expectations are realistic, encourage, praise the good behaviour and choices, blah blah blah. So what does this mean I ask?!?! Do my boys really just like the sound of me yelling and screaming…because I have even bypassed the asking or telling nicely and gone straight to the yell only to have them look all offended that I am yelling at them again. When they question me I respond by explaining that they don’t do it when I ask nicely, they don’t do it when I ask in a more demanding tone…but they seem to move when I am yelling so I thought I would save us all time and just go right to the yell. I’m tired of feeling like my head is about to burst open just trying to get them loaded into the van to get somewhere for ONE OF THEIR ACTIVITIES…or out the door for school in the morning when I am not going to see them for 6 odd hours. I would like it to be pleasant between us before those hours spent apart. SIGH! If only there was a magic wand we could wave, or heels we could click, a nose we could wiggle to make things go smoothly. But, at least we know we are not alone…THANK GOODNESS WE ARE NOT ALONE!!!! So I thank you for being so honest and putting it out there that you are human and that these moments happen. THANK YOU!

Miju 1 year ago

I was getting ready to say “yeah! Big fat Fuck You to motherhood” myself (I have 9 yo & 5 yo) and your last paragraph just chocked me! I just started sobbing then. Thank you for this great article. It was quite therapeutic! ♥ Cheers! ♥

Tina 1 year ago

I thoroughly enjoy reading the rants.. oops I mean commentary. I am an old Mommy and have been raising and doing the school thing for 30 years. My last one finally graduated and I am free! I totally get you, my kids learned every bad word from me, every hand gesture too! I have done everything that you and everyone else have done or said. My kids are great, independent, working and paying their own bills.
They are a gift and I would not change a thing, I am still a cursing, hand gesturing mama that is blessed, I can’t wait for the grandkids!!

H. D. Gordon 1 year ago

You are NOT alone. Dear God, you are NOT alone!!!

Hollie 1 year ago

Hey, I feel your pain. I appreciate your story and would never judge. No parent should unless there is need. All good parents know what I mean. We are breakable. I wish they realised how fragile we can sometimes feel. Keep the stories coming, you are a breath of fresh air :)

Doug 1 year ago

The one mistake she made, yes I’m a parent, is she disrespected her husband like that. That’s where the mistake is made. When you undermine your partner like that in front of the kids how do you expect the kids to respect him and his authority? Yes you can scream and yell at your kids and it may scare them into listening but the one person you should be on the same page with is your significant other. Working in tandem as a team is the only way to really sound parenting and if you just simply don’t see eye to eye with your partner then you need to reevaluate why you’re even with that person.

amy 1 year ago

This site ROCKS!!!!!!!! I thought was the only mom to ever completely lose it on her kids such a nice feeling to know I am not the only one thank you.

Sam 1 year ago

Parenthood…it should say parenthood. dads have just a hard a time as moms…..Women dont have a monopoly on what it take or means to be a parent…sorry. Good article though.

Amber 1 year ago

I have to say compared to all the news I read this one I can relate to. I absolutely love the bravery it takes just to say the honest to god truth about being a mother that most of the world think is just false pretense and every moment is filled with laughter n love. Now don’t get me wrong their are those moments but the bad sometimes seem like they over weigh the good about 70% of the time. I can relate to being a mother pretty much raising 3 children of my own, mornings are straight out not what I had in store and the thanks or appreciation well those took a flight out on ” kiss my ass” yrs ago. They say patience, they say breathe, they say all of these and so much more that we are supposed to be and have it all together like they really understand, they aren’t dealing with it us as mothers are. I find myself sometimes feeling like anytime we state honesty about our lived we are judged but in reality all people want is the good news not the bad. I have up on that philosophy yrs ago and tell it as it is, raising children is difficult hell half the time I think if they just sent 10k mothers who raised children to forgeign legislative meetings all war would end, I mean hell we can get our shit together we sure the hell can get theirs together. In the end though every day has triumphs and and failures and we all question why we said or behaved how we did well in the end it’s trying. I’d rather my children remember their mother tried than never have a damn, making them understand that cookies on a gold plate don’t exist it’s what you make of those cookies that matters. Share them, cherish them, love them, and in every way let them know who’s boss, cause when the ate of cookies falls and breaks when their all grown up their gonna need the one who helped them put it all together in the beginning their MOTHER;)

AC 1 year ago

Thank you. You have no idea how much I needed this today!!!

Ryan 1 year ago

“Parenthood” is the word you’re looking for.

Jen 1 year ago

“Leave me alone!” I yelled at him. “I do EVERYTHING for you people – including YOU! – and you all treat me like shit! Every last one of you!” YES I think I have said this verbatim! Many times…..

vicki 1 year ago

Good on you, that is me at 6 PM at night after the fights over dinner, PJs and bed time all after 8 hours of work.

jess 1 year ago

So the kids are alive? Fed? Clean? Well done mum, you’re doing a great job!

Emi 1 year ago

Truer words have not been spoken… err, written. Same situation here, with less kids though. Of course I WANT to provide them with the best, to take care of them as well as I can. I just want to feel a little appreciation from time to time, a little “okay, mom”, instead of “pfffft, again???”when I ask my daughter to clean the damn litterbox or go to the corner for milk (which she drank). And when I lose it, she gets upset for half an hour and then she’s back on her phone, and I spend all day feeling guilty for shouting. Until the next day, rinse and repeat. That’s why I’m having another glass of wine now, cheers, ladies.

Crystal 1 year ago

I am not going to read the comments as I know there will be the usual self righteous ones but I just want to say, I could have written this myself, numerous times. You are not alone and now I know neither am I :)

Emily 1 year ago

My husband is a kind, patient, loving man. He’s helping me raise what I hope to be two kind, patient loving men. He can do this as well as I can. Sure, they’d grow up eating boxed mac n cheese and canned vegetables, but so did he, and he loved to tell about it.

bradaroonie 1 year ago

Dear mom,
It would be easier to DVR what you want your child to watch….. or maybe a book….. kids of this age do what they see you do…… since I can not be a dick and you are stressed ….. please le met tell you that your actions show your child who to be…… No, I do not have kids because I knew I would do this to them…. I came from a home where I no longer talk to my mom or dad….. and I get to watch my friends cry because their parents are dead… please don’t make your child hate you… plan your days…..they are a blessing and one day they will be my age… 42.. and want nothing to do with you and this is sad….. thank you for venting and yes I know it is hard…… good luck….

Heidi 1 year ago

Your blog is so relatable on so many levels. This one, specifically resonated with me. Thank you so much for giving moms permission to be human. Sometimes we need a reminder that we are not machines despite the fact that we are often expected to function flawlessly.

TiffanyC630 1 year ago

Wow I can relate to you….. while I don’t have 5 boys I do have 3 boys. Boy do they drive me up the wall. I feel like if their was a girl thrown in there it would maybe just maybe balance out all the farting, peeing on toilet seats, burping contest, wrestling matches, etc….Probably not but it is wishful thinking lol. Anyway awesome Job on this article. It’s about time we had an article written about parenthood with no filters. If any mother finds this offensive Please tell me your secret to a pleasant parenting.

Heather 1 year ago

Oh …yeah….my boys are 23, 21 and 17 and I have felt that way much of the time. It has been less as they have gotten older…but the 17 year old is still pretty much an ungrateful puke. :-) lol Motherhood is not for the faint of heart.

Kristen 1 year ago

You read my thoughts exactly!

caitlin 1 year ago

Ohhh mama. You just spoke to my soul!
My problem is that I’m not even the real mother. I’m the long time girlfriend/fiance that has been the only mom he 3.5yo knows, and as much step mom as possible to the9yo. I act like a mom. I am a stay at home with the little one. I have ALL the children’s interests at heart, vehemently more than anyone else in our side of the universe seems to, and Dad is always working so while he provides, his home habits aren’t as experienced as mine:he forgets the sweatshirt or the sunscreen or whatever other thousand things moms remember in a day…
And yet when he isn’t paying attention in the car, forgetting to tell me where to turn, etc, and the 9yo repeatedly gives me the wrong directions, and she cries when I tell her I want directions from daddy, while yelling at daddy to pay attention to help me out, after already going the wrong way three times(and I mean by miles before he noticed), and so now she tells her mom she doesn’t want to come up to see us anymore because of ME!? So dad blames me… says I shoulda listened to her cuz she knew where she was going… and I must just be jealous of their closeness and trying to make her look/feel bad…
even a step mom has the right to tell a kid she wants driving directions from an adult, right?
I mean, talk about a BIG fuck you from motherhood.

Christie 1 year ago

Oh Praise Jesus, it’s not just me!!! You very eloquently describe what the grind of motherhood can do to a person’s psyche. I had a screaming match with my 12-yr-old this morning and used words that I’m so not proud of. But it was just that flash of her attitude, that eye roll, that blatant refusal to just put her dirty clothes in the freaking hamper – which has been the rule Every. Single. Day! since she could first hold clothes in her chubby little fists and toddle over to the hamper unassisted, for cripes sake – that made me have to actively resist the urge to wring her precious little neck.

Minions’ Mom 1 year ago

So glad I found this site!!! I can’t tell you how many times I have said, “M is for Mom, not Maid!” Thanks for sharing this. It’s good to know that I am not alone in letting my frustration get the best of me. Sometimes we can all be scary.

Leslie E 1 year ago

If anyone says they’ve never lost it, they’re a liar. Being a mom is hard, plain and simple. Thanks for the realistic post without all the fluff and shit.

Rebecca 1 year ago

Thank you for having courage to write such an unpopular truth. I love my children so very much. They can be loving and smart and funny and ungrateful and mouthy and manipulative. Most of our battles stem from me sticking to biggest parenting goal; not releasing two assholes into the world. You’re words lessened some of the guilt I feel when I lose my composure with them. Thank you for the smiles and the tears! You’re post was like a pep talk in the boxer’s corner and a reassuring slap on the ass to get back in there and fight.

Rochelle 1 year ago

Honey, no criticism here. Your saying exactly what 99℅ of mothers feel but dont voice. I’m very happy I came across this article because just like you, I feel alone with these emotions too and its nice to see and not only hear that it’s a normal mom thing. Thank you for this.

Heather Holden 1 year ago

No criticism from this mom. Thank you for the honesty. It helps to know we are not alone!

Brandi 1 year ago

I literally got tears reading this. I’m not the only one. Sometimes I feel horrible, but at least I am not alone.

matt 1 year ago

Something my friend did when his daughter tried to slam the door in his face; he took it off it’s hinges and replaced it with strings of beads. It will be a very long time before she earns her door back. When she lost control of having a door, it changed her for the better.

Captain Obvious 1 year ago

If you don’t want them to change the channel, either keep the remote in your possession or hide it & alleviate the issue all together! Kids have shitty impulses & you’re setting them up to fail by leaving the forbidden item within their reach.

Momof4beasts 1 year ago

Again…a male with some kind of crazy opinion on what it is to be a mother. Fabulous…get a clue dude and stop criticizing others. Because obviously that is a horrible example to set for your children!

Momof4beasts 1 year ago

Seriously dude…not a mother, you wouldn’t get it. Go spread your sanctimonious criticism elsewhere!

Momof4beasts 1 year ago

You are so not alone! It is ok to lose it now and again…we all do it. Sometimes that’s what it takes for them to know we mean business…and NOW! Not tomorrow, no, ok mom, soon, no I will laters…NOW DAMMIT! I BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS WORLD..I WILL TAKE YOU OUT! Thank you Bill Cosby :)

Jedidja van de Geer 1 year ago

That sounds familiar… I am having a nope-week like that… Hugs to you! Thank you for sharing…

Lisa 1 year ago

Thank you, just thank you! I feel like this very often. Exactly like this. Thank you

astrid jain 1 year ago

I understand your frustration and as a single mother I don’t “feel like I’m solo” but am…but as I recall, we mothers have all made the decision to have our children and/or raise them…and we are incredibly blessed as a result. How fortunate are you to have an eye-rolling 8 year old with a remote compared to the tragedies some parents with children have to endure….seriously..”first world problems” as they say….whine no more…

Stephanie 1 year ago

Just want to say a big fat THANK YOU!! Thank you for saying what all of us have felt at one time or another. And any mother who says they haven’t felt that way is lying. No one is perfect. We all have times when we just lose it. We can’t take anymore. And when that happens, we have to let it out!! So here’s to you for getting it out and good luck.

Mary Close 1 year ago

My husband travels and no one understands the pressure that can come from handling so much alone but NOT being a single mom. It’s constant adjustment for everyone, no chance to get into any one routine. It’s tough. Sometimes we get overwhelmed. You realized you overreacted and flew off the handle. Kudos for realizing, because even that is pretty damn difficult. You opened yourself up to criticism but I sincerely hope you find only (or at least mostly!) support.

J R 1 year ago

Sounds like the kids are a result of poor up bringing and being spoiled from the get go. Teach your children to be proper from the beginning and I’ll bet your kid will show more respect by this age.

Elana 1 year ago

thank you for writing this. Seriously. it’s these moments- the ones where I break, and say things I later feel horrible for, or do things I realize are NOT the example I should be showing- that sometimes make me stop and think “dear god WHAT is wrong with me?!” it even went so far as “Do I have postpartum?” after my 3rd child. And the answer was- No – I have 3 children who are utterly exhausting. It’s just that no one talks about these moments. The one’s we’re not supposed to have. Because it’s all about positive parenting, positive re-enforcement and blah blah blah. whatever other parenting technique is trending. We’re attempting to emotionally and physically support these little people 24/7 when sometimes we forget to find ourselves enough support, or a break; and it can feel lonely. So thanks, for letting us all know we’re not alone !

TRACY 1 year ago

And you thought you were going to be ridiculed & judged! LOL My daughter is 17, son 14. I have been losing my shit for 17 years! And I’m a low key, type B, hippy chic! I def hold it together better now, as practice makes perfect! But, as they age, your expectations of what they should be doing to help you also grows. At this point, my daughter should be able to handle grocery shopping! Yeah, right. And, to make matters worse, the infractions are worse too!! Channel surfing? I wish! How about cutting school and going to a rave in NYC with all her friends? Ugh… Good luck to all of us! You rock, BTW! <3

Krystal 1 year ago

You are not alone! I feel the exact same way!

KErry 1 year ago

My children are in their mid-20’s now and have their own homes now, but I remember those days well! School mornings were ALWAYS the WORST! By the time they were in high school we had a standing rule in our house that whatever was said in the morning did not count and was forgotten by all! I was almost always a crazy woman in the morning, (usually for a fairly valid reason) and was grounding every one for life every day! I don’t miss that part of it at all, but just last night was reflecting on how fast it all went. So, just do your best to enjoy all of it, even the crazy parts!

Misty 1 year ago

Yes…a hundred times YES! I have three kids…19, 10 and 6. I know, what was I thinking. I go through this every weekday morning. My youngest has Apraxia and my middle child (and she is truly the poster child) is extremely jealous of the attention he gets. While she has to dress herself, I am helping him get dresses. He is always done before her and while he is waiting on her I have him play his Nabi 2. Just to keep him quiet while I do her hair, clean her glasses, etc. She will walk in and snatch it from him….there is where the fight starts. She always throws a tantrum, while he is SCREAMING at the top of his lungs! When I get on to her she goes in the bathroom, slams the door and locks it! Then I too yell obscenities through the door. I am right there with you, as a lot of other truthful mothers are. And I say that because a lot of my friends post and brag as to how “well mannered” their kids are. Well ….good for them. The sad fact is the men in our lives have no idea what we REALLY go through.

Jolynn Ferguson 1 year ago

Hey. I am feeling all sad here because I had so many meltdown and was all completely alone dealing with it thinking I was a horrible mom. I had kids way back in 1991’s. There were no internet, no googling, no sharing blogs. I was all alone in country far away from friends and they don’t have kids yet. There were no sharing, no understanding nod. Thank you for writing this blog make me thinking of all what I have done and deal with it. I really glad for all the social media now.

jodi 1 year ago

You have no idea how much I needed to read this today. I too, totally lost it today. In front of my parents and my 9-yr old. Letting the ex husband and 14yr old daughter have it. I am so glad I’m not alone. My mother pulled me aside and told me that it’s normal. Her mother told her the same and that unfortunately the kids don’t even “get-it” until they become mothers themselves. Sometimes , I just wish I didn’t have to feel like it’s always a losing battle. Doesn’t help that my ex is only around when it’s time to save the day. I am the enforcer while he is super dad.

Melinda 1 year ago

Thank you for writing this! I’m currently potty-training a toddler and nursing a 3 month old.
And yesterday, I lost it too.
Thanks for being real (and validating my feelings too!)

ShredderFeeder 1 year ago

This is why we don’t have cable.

*ALL* “Kids” shows seem to have a common theme, kids are snarky little assholes and parents are either absent or are portrayed as being uneffective.

That and advertising. My kids almost NEVER say “I want” or “Buy me this” anymore.

trevor 1 year ago

A few tips from my experience,Put some rules in place for what you want to acheive,a firm strong voice to reinforce them,be consistant with discipline and remember you are the parent not there friends and a cuddle every now and then would be good!!!

josilver 1 year ago

Have you heard of third child syndrome, something like that, it’s a thing where your third child is the most testing, or feels the most testing. It’s because they follow the clever one, the pretty one, or the funny one, or whatever the label, so they get to be the ‘pain in the butt’ one! Since I heard about this, I’ve felt a whole lot better, and a lot more patient with my third child. It may be a load of hearsay, but I like it!

Tara 1 year ago

Holy Jumping….Come to my house…lol
I have 5 kids and I am still talking to walls! There have been many a day (okay, nights too) where the not so proud momma moment comes through. But you know what, my kids realize that I actually care. At the time, whatever got us in the uproar, and let’s face it, it was probably something minor. But just at that right moment when you feel if you have to repeat, or count to three, or remove precious toys ( which you bought, and then they yell…..You don’t do anything for me…lol) and then that tiny thing will have you doing the ole cartoon….smoke coming out of your ears, not able to put two proper words together, frustration has you so bound up one little pin prick and you will be a whizzing deflating balloon squeaking by and then the kicker…they will call you to pick up the mess…..
When you leave the hospital with that beautiful baby, they should really make a you sign a sheet, that says, everything you have heard about its a walk in the park, you will love every waking moment is a bunch of bull caca….lol
I love and adore my children, and wouldn’t trade them for a pinto. But those days when all hell breaks loose, swapping them out for a two door Lamborghini. Sounds Amazing….lol

Kris Zimm 1 year ago

You are not alone. You are SO not alone. It’s nice to hear from someone who is a mom, talking about things that moms face, not seeking justification, just putting it out there to let the rest of us know that we are not alone either. Thank you for sharing.

Molly 1 year ago

I flipped off both my kids this morning, with both hands, as they were leaving for school with my husband. I also take my child’s door off if they slam it. God forbid they should lock that shit. They may never get their door back.

Chelsea 1 year ago

Thank you so much for writing this…my son is going through a horribly whiney attitude phase and I can only handle so much before I sound like an escaped mental patient with the way I yell (and sometimes thats how motherhood makes me feel) and even while im yelling I feel like shit for losing my temper. ..every night I go to bed promising myself that tomorrow I will have more patience, some days I keep that promise, alot of days I fail miserably…im glad to see im not to only one!

lorraine 1 year ago

i wanna say to the lady i would give anything to have all boys….girls are picky moody bossy snotty demanding laszy i have one boy 2 girls and am so greatful i found this site i felt so alone and like a bitch for so long u can only ask nicely for so long before u lose ur mind a spaz sometimes i even pout have a fit lay on the floor and scream to show them thats how they r and how stupid it looks….
i love my children and wouldnt give them up for anything i just wish they would listen the first time the dont even listen when i spaz my oldes girl even laughs at me then gets mad runs to her room and slams her door lol it did feel good to remover her door tho lol

anyway i am thankful to u ladys and knowing im not crazy and tont need to go to a mental hospital cuz the thought is there…

Debbie 1 year ago

Awesome story. i loved it. it is so true. I had 4 boys and a few step kids too. It was quite a challenge but so worth it. I can remember my mom saying “I hope you have 6 kids just like you” well i have 4 and they are great guys. they are their kids Dad. awesome parents and spouses. you all can just sit back and wait because your kids, kids will be here before you know it and while they will be a complete joy to you, they will not be you, they will not be to that smart mouthed kid that slammed the door in your face or rolled their eyes at you. so just sit back and enjoy and let them know how much you will enjoy when they have the same challenges you had with their own children. it is the light at the end of the tunnel

mallerii 1 year ago

So people do realize that no matter how hard you try to shield your children from those shows or outside influences that somewhere down th line there going to see it? I think this story is absolutely insane and not a triumph for this mother just because there was a happy ending you should feel like shit the rest of your life if that’s how youfeel over ssomething small like that lol

Stephanie 1 year ago

Thank you!!!!!! Thank you!!!!!! Thank you!!!! I am so thankful for this article!! I know now that I am not alone!!!

April 1 year ago

Thank you! I only have one child and face this melt down everytime we sit down to math homework. By the time were done we have laughed, cried, yelled, cried some more, laughed again. I told remember to breath and know you are not alone no matter how much you may feel like you are,

JDS 1 year ago

Thank you so much for your honesty! Had a crap day like yours and just needed to hear that someone else is singing the same tune 😉

Working Mom 1 year ago

Just another perspective, the life we have chosen requires that our children are dropped off at ‘before school care’ and also go to ‘extended day care’. I’ve lost it with my kids too, because, when I wake them (6 yrs and 3yrs) to get ready for ‘school’ at 6:15, and we are officially running ‘late’ by 6:45, cause mommy has to be to work by 7:30, it sucks. I don’t get to serve breakfast, or have snuggle time or TV time or down time. It’s go, go, go. And I drop my first grader at ‘before school’ care, which consists of large groups of kids huddled in the cafeteria before the sun is up good, I long to fight over TV time in the morning. And to be clear, I’m not judging, as this is the life I have chosen for my family, but the same is to be said for your choice.

Jessica 1 year ago

Wow!! Finally someone that I can relate too!! Everything you read about parenting is so positive; everything is ice cream cones and rainbows..totally a misconception!! Thank you for writing this….I feel a bit more sane and normal than before!

Melissa 1 year ago


Pam 1 year ago

The only silver lining in this cloud is that they will grow up and have their own kids and experience all the same “f*** you” moments plus more while you sit back and bask in their stress and misery. Ya you might feel a little bad for your own children but deep down the havoc that those grandchildren are bringing puts a big smile on your lips as you silently think “now you know how it feels”? What goes around comes around, and many times, it is worse! Each generation seems to push the limit a little farther with less respect for previous generations. Good luck to the future. I’m shocked at times at what I see and hear, but maybe I’m just old.

jennifer 1 year ago

Wow…Nick needs to get a clue. Ignore his rude remarks. Kids dont act this way with fathers. As mothers we get trampled on and the fathers never see it or experience it because the kids wait until the father leaves..what a jerk.

jennifer 1 year ago

This describes my daily life with my 2 sons. I feel utterly used, abused, unappreciated, disrespected, hollow, and empty at the end of each day. Everyone takes and takes and takes and by the end of the day there is nothing left of myself that I recognize. Nothing left for me to even want to do anything for myself. My stress level is at an all time high that my immune system has suffered from it. My nerves are a wreck and I suffer from migraines eveyday. I pray that this will ease up and I can get some cooperation for a more harmonious life but I’m not sure if I will ever see that day come to fruition. I completely undetstand and you are not alone.

wendy 1 year ago

Thank you for that. Then on top of that I am a single mom with two children whom both are diabetic type one. So I have attitude about what they can and can not eat at this time, sneaking food, high blood sugar, lost of glucose meters, low blood sugars at 2am chasing it with Orange juice, vomiting, dehydration. Ilose Iit a whole lot. Its so fucking frustrating.

Jennifer 1 year ago

Thank you so much for writing and posting this! You are spot on. I often lose it and feel so ashamed for not being able to keep my cool. Thank you for showing me I’m not alone. It is a hard job that is very taxing and doesn’t get the respect it deserves except from other moms who have been there, done that and understand. Good for you to stand up and say how we all feel at times!

Charli 1 year ago

I am almost (almost) ashamed to say that I laughed so hard at this that I nearly cried.

My parents, all three of them (mother, father and stepmother) were physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive and generally neglectful. I was hit, shoved, thrown down stairs, left alone with no food (for three days or more) while under the age of five, and in my teen years pretty much singlehandedly raised both of my younger siblings to keep them from the same fate. Does that mean that all kids should be abused or they won’t turn out like I did? Just because I managed to be a hard-working, dedicated, educated, and caring individual in that environment doesn’t mean that my parents did a good job. It only means that somehow I managed to minimize the damage they could have done.

So what, OP doesn’t want her 8 year old to watch a show that is clearly not appropriate for her 2 year old? That is completely within her right as a parent, and she is protecting her younger children. If she only had the 8 year old, perhaps she would feel differently about her daughter being able to choose what she watches. Or maybe not, a lot of the teen / pre-teen shows these days are much more mature than they were when I was 10, and even the ones I used to watch are too mature for some children.

I have one daughter, a little under the age of two. I’m learning as I go, and there are things that I do that make me miserable because I don’t know if it’s the right thing. There are days I lose it because “I swear if you throw one more tantrum” or “Just go sit in your freaking time out chair because I can’t handle you right now” and those days are normal and to be expected. We are humans, we’re not robots, we can’t turn off frustration 100% of the time. And if you’re parenting you can expect to be frustrated at least about 75% of the time. 😉

I want my daughter to grow up and make her own decisions, when it is appropriate. At the age of 8, when she has clearly been given rules and refuses to abide by them, is not an appropriate time to make her own decisions, and if she is going to make her own decisions, she’s going to learn to live with the consequences. If that means me chasing her into her room screaming at her because it’s the 7 millionth time she’s done the same thing and I’ve had it, then so be it. I just hope that if the time comes, I can be as honest as OP is about it.

Chris 1 year ago

This article, and the agreement within the replies, is frightening. Blowing up at your kids when YOU are ready to blow up sends them inconsistent messages about discipline and negatively affects their development. Your reaction should be as consistent as possible to what they are doing. When they do something really wrong, you should get really upset. When they do something slightly wrong, you should take slight action. Getting really upset over a slight wrong will affect your children’s future confidence levels. If your kids are unruly, I’m sorry, but this is a result of the environment they grew up in. If you can’t control your stress, you will see unwanted behavior develop in your children. They are mostly just reflections of you, so STOP BLAMING THEM.

Kem 1 year ago

Wow. I totally did the same thing just last week. I SNAPPED! I was literally SCREAMING at my 8 year old because she had just pushed that last button. It was horrible. She immediately began to dissolve into tears and terror, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” She wailed. “I’m a horrible person!” OMG…I did that to her. My words were literally tearing her to shreds. I hate that motherhood turns you into that, at times–that ugly person that I was that day. I later apologized to her and she apologized, again, to me. But I worry that damage was done. I worry that I’m not doing this motherhood thing right and my kid will be in counseling as an adult because her mom screamed at her…thank you for sharing your story. I’m glad I’m not alone.

Nick 1 year ago

So, here’s the opinion from an outsider looking in: Motherhood: You’re terrible at it. Flipping out and telling your (you never mentioned how old she is) child to “OPEN THIS GODDAMN DOOR!”? What would your opinion be if I were around your kids talking like that? But it’s ok for you? What kind of example are you setting for your kids? Not feeling appreciated for what you do? Welcome to reality kid. Do you think mothers are the only people who work hard and are never noticed? I can go on and on but I really get the impression that you never really wanted to be a mom and now you’re frustrated because “you have so much more to offer the world” than this crap job. You need to grow up and start acting like an adult before you find wake up in ten years and wonder why your kids can’t.

bc 1 year ago

Stay at home dad so not sure if I qualify to add to the discussion, but will say, “I do EVERYTHING for you people – including YOU! – and you all treat me like shit! Every last one of you!”…yea, I’ve said that out of frustration before. Completely empathize.

Ann 1 year ago

OMG best comment ever.

Allison Olsen 1 year ago

You said it sister. Thank you for your honesty and candor. It definitely helps moms like me feel less alone in this pursuit of positive child rearing.

Kelly 1 year ago

Criticism? Uh….no way! My hat’s off to you! You were ready for school early enough for a timeout!!!!!! Well played, mama…..well played!

SweetPapa 1 year ago

Memorable Consequences. Your children are old enough to understand consequences. Consequences don’t have to be harsh, but to be effective they must be memorable. Children are no mystery, each one of us was a child once and we all know the impulses our kids are contending with. Plan ahead for misbehavior, it’s not like it will be coming as some kind of surprise! Plan ahead and let them know in advance what the consequences are and FOLLOW THROUGH. No, it’s not easy, but my wife and I were able to remain careful and consistent with our daughter because we always disciplined for her benefit, not to vent our feelings.

Crystal 1 year ago

I almost cried reading this. I have had countless days like this and I relate to EVERYTHING you said. It’s like you took the words right out of my mouth. I understand the love, the selflessness, the shame of losing control, the overwhelmingness. Motherhood is not all sunshine, rainbows and fucking unicorns! It’s hard, frustrating and trying, but it is worth it. Keep up the good up work momma! It will get better and they will understand one day.

Cindy 1 year ago

We have all been there, honey. A million times over. At past 50, and with grandchildren, I remember. If they weren’t so cute when they are asleep, why would we have more?:)… that’s why grand kids are the best. We can give them back at the end of the day:). Be kind to yourself. It’s a hard job.

mother fudger 1 year ago

Could that be the creation of the curse mother fudger?! Thank you! I’m often made to feel that im indequate by the blank stares or rolling eyes. Ugh – thanks for the confidence to contine the mommy job.

Tracy 1 year ago

Oh please people give me a break! You all have normal kids with normal “problems”. My only child is autistic; if you want problems, spend a day at my house. I’d give anything to have your problems! Quit complaining and be grateful for the fact that your kids are healthy with bright futures ahead of them. Enjoy them instead of wasting time bitching about how hard motherhood is. Good grief!

dawn 1 year ago

Oh yeah. I just had one of those freak outs yesterday. Well, at least I am relieved its not just me. I have one boy and cant even THINK of any more kids.

Kim Z 1 year ago

Did I write this in my sleep last night? Bravo dude.

Achaessa 1 year ago

Thank you for your honesty and openness, Lisa. Thank you Thank you Thank you…really. I never comment on what I read but I wanted you to know I deeply appreciate this post.

Mike 1 year ago

I understand. Don’t w

Michelle 1 year ago


Steven Douglas 1 year ago

As a once-single father of three this pains me, because I think this story is the rule rather than the exception. And it shouldn’t be. If you told them three times, that’s one time too many. Children test boundaries. Nothing wrong with that. Expect and welcome it. They need to know where the boundaries ‘really’ are. But be prepared to show them. If you’ve ever told your child something “a thousand times” (yeah, I know it’s figurative, meaning ‘many times’), you’ve already exposed yourself as weak, and you don’t get, nor do you ‘deserve’ respect. You’re busy demanding respect but don’t know how to command it. You “lost it” long before telling anyone anything the thousandth time.

MY ADVICE: Watch the Dog Whisperer, and learn how adapt and apply all the principles in his lessons to parenting. You’re not the Alpha in your own home, and that is 100% your doing.

Kryss 1 year ago

I hear you. Its like most days I come home from a full day of work, I come in and don’t even get to put my purse down when my daughter is in my face complaining or asking something of me when her Dad has been home for over an hour. Then I am trying to brush her off and I look around at a disaster of a house. Their chores are not done, their snacks and breakfast is all over, they are ignoring the dog who is chewing IP stuff, the cats food bowl is empty (dog probably ate it), their homework isn’t done… Or its missing, their room is a mess, something smells, then my son is asking what’s for dinner. I escape to the bathroom but can’t stay long because I have to hurry and take them to some activity that evening. Which by the time I can be home and sit, its time for bed. … But seriously… I do love my family but I do feel buried most of the time.

Jay Thomas 1 year ago

This is exactly the reason I do NOT want kids. I’ll keep my sanity, my sleep, my money and my time.

Amanda 1 year ago

You know they make parental controls for TV these days, right?

David 1 year ago

Sorry for the frustration! You’re not alone.

When I’ve talked to a professional therapist about similar frustration, the comment was this: Expectations – Reality = Frustration. Thus, he said, if my frustration was high, my expectations were probably out of whack. I’ve found that thinking about it that way has been enormously helpful, in parenting and otherwise. With respect to parenting, I’ve found it very helpful to a) expect them to act like kids generally and b) in particular act like spoiled kids because mine are spoiled. When I expect what’s inevitably coming, it helps me stay calm, which helps me do a better job of influencing the situation.

FWIW. Good luck!

NoCo’s Mommy 1 year ago

I found your page on FB by accident and have basically become addicted to it! And it is SO good to know that I’m not some crazy, selfish, horrible mother! You make me smile, laugh, teary-eyed and hell, I high five myself after reading many of your posts. Thank you for allowing me to exhale and validate my feelings, emotions and role as a mom. You rock!

Sarah Juelfs 1 year ago

I could have typed this letter myself, a hundred times. You are not alone!

Youatethegrape 1 year ago

There are days when I get more respect from my dogs, even when they are standing next to the toilet waiting to be petted while I’m ON It.

I’ve wigged out, but very rarely. Not because I don’t have the opportunity presented to me, but because no one gets a moral hangover to change their behavior. In fact, once everyone goes back to their normal selfish-selves, you know they are looking at you, thinking you are just a little crazy.

Lisa 1 year ago

I love you. Thank you for writing this.

Meghan S. 1 year ago

First of all, sister you are SO not alone. I seem to loose my shit quite often when my 8 year olds favorite quotes come out. The “I don’t know” or “I forgot” or just flat out blatantly lying about stuff that doesn’t even matter. I even went back to work and it only makes me feel worse because I don’t have lots of time with them as I work 12 hour night Shifts and it seems that the ride to school on the morning after I’ve gotten off work or the couple hours after school are just a condensed version of a whole days worth of pre teen angst. I never know what the right thing to do is but just remember we are all having some variation of these issues whether or not we want to publication fess up to it is a different story. Bottom line. You are NOT alone my friend.

Kath 1 year ago

Good for you! You’re human! Parents are people and people aren’t perfect.

Personally, I would have left Annanbelle’s lunch right where she left it and let her deal with it.

Next time, take the batteries out of the remote. Better yet, no TV for a week.

You’re the parent. You make the rules. If they don’t obey the rules, there will be consequences.

Hang in there xo

sarah 1 year ago

Your article made me smile. This was my morning in a nutshell. As moms we want to always make sure we are doing our best all with a happy face and clean house… This is not our reality and it gives me strength and encouragment to know I am not alone. We are human. Tried, tested and true. I loved your article and your bravery for sharing and reaching out to every day moms like ourselves who can’t deny that is this part of motherhood.

Angelia 1 year ago

I totally agree. My 14 yr old since his dad left thinks its his job to tell me what he wants. I can say he does help a lot but he is also very mouthy about things. He doesn’t listen to anything I say. He thinks he’s the boss and demands whatever. My 11 yr old is so He is always hurt ( not really) when something needs to be done. He’s so dramatic!! You have every right to get upset. Sometimes you need to let everything out.

SeanP 1 year ago

Actually I am a stay at home Dad for about 5 years now. I only have two boys as the world doesn’t need more people. Two make kids, two kids can be made. I really don’t get what all the fuss is about. Your kids are not automatons. They are people, immature, young, inexperienced people. Treat them as such.

By the way, the biggest problem with being a stay at home parent isn’t the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry…all that takes is organization. No, the biggest problem is the isolation.

SeanP 1 year ago

Why do things the hard way? She won’t listen? Take the batteries out of the remote. Put the batteries under lock and key. See if your 8 year old is willing to get up to channel surf.

Vicki 1 year ago

I’ll never forget the first time my mom SNAPPED on us. I was probably 12 and my older brother was 14. It was the first time I realized she was human too. It did not scar me for life. It made me a better human being in the long run.

Barbara Brady 1 year ago

I love you!!!!
I have 3 and I refer to motherhood as Psychological Warfare!!!
The Big Fat Fuck You is a magnificent description.
I live in Port Washington, ny if you ever want to have coffee!!! Yeah, what a joke right?…sit down and have coffee! xxooxxooxxoo

Thank you from the bottom of my exhausted/frustrated brain!

Christina 1 year ago

Craig, you are either a troll or you don’t have children. Which is it?

Christina 1 year ago

Thanks so much for posting this. My (almost) three year old was talking back to me repeatedly while out shopping a couple of days ago. I tried to put her in timeout on a bench outside the store and she continued to sass me. I took her straight to the car and lost it. I have felt so guilty the past two days for yelling at her the way I did. She is my world and I should have handled that in a more adultlike manner. It’s so good to know I am not alone. Thank you for your honesty.

Jenn 1 year ago

I did instill a sense of of discipline within my children early. From the beginning they were expected to behave a certain way and for the most part they always have. My daughter is the same age as the daughter in question and very similar situations to this happen between her and I quite often – it’s called growing up and finding her own voice and personality. Children have so many rules and expectations and so little control over their own self they eventually, even with the most disciplined upbringing, want to control something. They aren’t doing it to purposely irritate, they just want some control. I have to remind myself of this all the time when my daughter tests me. The discipline I instilled shows because both of my kids know how to behave at school and I’ve never been called to the school for behavior issues, they know how to behave in someone else’s house, in public, etc… my kids are 8 and 11 and since they were infants / toddlers I have been complimented on their behavior regularly by other parents. so if misbehavior is going to happen I’m glad it’s in the privacy of our home and I know it’s likely because they are finding themselves or I am frustrated with the repetition and I lose my patience. I think perhaps your mother didn’t instill much in you – especially not the most basic, if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all…. or maybe it was because your father wasn’t present… if you are a parent I wish your children good luck.

Krish 1 year ago

Just a thought (not a judgmental one as I meltdown like the best of them) but couldn’t you take the remote away and remove the lock from her door or even better, ban tv in the mornings? My 3 kids get on much, much better together when there is no tv and no computers. x

Stacey 1 year ago

Ummm BeachBadger – are you a therapist, a psychologist, a psychiatrist? No. Then quite regurgitating the psycho-babble talk that you have heard on Dr. Phil and open your eyes to the fact that we are all human. We make mistakes, we loose control – it happens – to all of us. And if it doesn’t happen – that is when I would go see a therapist because repressing those emotions are incredibly damaging.

This may be a completely different household than the one you grew up in. This incident was a one time occurrence – one. Those children will not be emotionally scarred because mom “lost her shit” once. Rules are necessary, they are a fact of life and learning to follow them is also necessary because then it allows people to discover why rules are necessary or why some rules seem arbitrary.

These are the symptoms of the disorder you have ascribed to yourself “narcissistic personality disorder”:
Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognised as superior without commensurate achievements)
Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
Requires excessive admiration
Has a very strong sense of entitlement, e.g., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
Is exploitative of others, e.g., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
Lacks empathy, e.g., is unwilling to recognise or identify with the feelings and needs of others
Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
Regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes

The writer (and mother) of this post exhibits none of these, based on what is written here. She admits guilt (something someone with NPD couldn’t even fathom. She understands her actions and the consequences that will come from them and what has to be done to rectify the situation – again something someone with NPD couldn’t possible conceive of.

She had a one time blow up – she’s human. Freud you are not. Of course neither am I but if you think you’re intelligent enough to diagnose someone from one post on the internet, then I should be to, right?

Stacey 1 year ago

Catherine – while I applaud your faith, we each have our own path to the Divine – whatever it may be (Buddhism, Paganism, Hinduism – whatever). But I think the core of your response is a good one. We have become a society where technology becomes the primary way we talk at one another and we are becoming less able to communicate with each other. However, to assume that this family doesn’t do all of those family -time things is somewhat short sighted on your part. And whether or not “god” is in the picture is irrelevant. You can be an atheist and still have family time and a loving relationship with your family.

Stacey 1 year ago

Did you seriously just write this? Are you a father? And frankly, I don’t see what having a “father” in the household has to do with anything! What are a caveman? If you are a parent – I feel sorry for your children. I’m guessing your idea of “discipline” (which starts at birth – really – idiot) must be corporal in someway and is not so much discipline as punishment. You can’t read a post online and then tell someone they are a “piss poor example for children” – why not you ask? BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT IN THEIR HOUSEHOLD 24/7!!! You have no idea what happens on a day to day basis – NONE – whatsoever. My guess would be that you generally don’t have a clue at all – EVER. She obviously has created rules – people, children especially, test those rules all the time – it’s learning, it’s self discovery, it’s becoming an autonomous human being.

Who the hell do you think you are judging someone based on one situation on one day? Crawl back into your cave.

Stacey 1 year ago

OMG! Thank you! I have done this a couple of times and I only have one kid. She is willful, stubborn and belligerent sometimes but she is also persistent, smart, creative and a truly beautiful soul. I feel horrible when I blow up like this but sometimes it really is the “last straw”. How many times can you ask someone to pick up their stuff, not leave their knapsack in the middle of the floor, their wet towel on the back of the couch, their dirty dishes everywhere in the house, to keep her room clean enough to walk on the floor and to turn off the technology by 9:30pm (she’s a teenager)? How many times before you completely loose it? I don’t know but I must have reached that limit a couple of times in her lifetime. I think I have repeated everything you said, verbatim.

I’m not sure what the answer is. Most would recommend giving myself a time out, finding a way to relax or whatever but in the moment you just react. It’s almost like watching a car crash happen – you want to stop it but there just seems to be no possible way to prevent the diatribe spewing out of your mouth. I know there was one mom who went on strike (interesting concept?) but could I do it – I don’t know. I think the mess and dirt would get to me and I would break before they figured out how much I actually do (but those are my demons).

Who knows, but I do know that I want to thank you for putting this out there. For exposing yourself to all the advice giving, arm chair psychology and ridicule (like the dumb a** James – obviously not a parent). I know how hard it is to do what you do – it’s hard with my one – it’s hard with your three – it’s just hard being a mom (parent). We love them with everything that is us and want so much for them. But sometimes we just want to get in our cars and drive away from it all – forever. We don’t have any mental issues (necessarily), we weren’t (necessarily) raised by crappy moms ourselves – we just can’t anymore – CANNOT – we need time for ourselves and we need to give them time to understand what it is that we do for them all day, every day for the rest of our lives. You never stop being a mom – EVER. It is a 24/7, nighttime, daytime, anytime, all the time, whenever position.

John 1 year ago

This also applies to me and other stay @ home Dads. I have MUCH more Respect for Motherhood,( I was raised by a single Mom),Being the stay @ home parent is a very very tuff job that has very little rewards Until you hear the teachers all say how wonderful and considerate they are of others at school ???WHAT I smile,or when they are in the Christmas @ the park concert and perform perfect. I <3 them dearly and would give my life for them. Just a little respect and consideration goes a long long ways…Both way.

emily 1 year ago

I could have written this myself, though with different kid names! Mother of 4 here, and I hear ya!!!! I’ve had those moments more than once!

Lisa 1 year ago

So totally there with you! I don’t have 7, I have 3. What you said, word for word, that’s me too. I spin in circles. I get one area done, move to next, but before I can even start the next task They have undone all the work I did to start with!!!!! My oldest is almost 16, yet he behaves at the responsibility level of a 12yr old!

D 1 year ago

We’ve all been there. And I really believe that if it’s rare, it can be effective. Sometimes kids need to see us lose it. I remember seeing my mom lose it a few times. It was a huge reality check for me and made me appreciate her.

Renee 1 year ago

You are so not alone…I have 2 and I get that melt down moment…alot. You have 7…God love you for having any control whatsoever…;)

Lisha 1 year ago

Being a mother is a thankless job. They say it gets easier as they get older, but bigger kids, bigger problems. Thank you for your refreshing honesty. I love my son with every fiber of my being, but let’s be honest that kid is Work!

Taylor 1 year ago

I have anxiety disorder, panic disorder and OCD. I was seeing my OCD therapist this morning and we were talking about moms who talk about how perfect motherhood is are full of crap. I love being a mom, most of the time. I love my kids but I can’t stand them sometimes. It’s awful yes, but it’s the truth. Being a parent is the hardest job in the world. You can never love someone so much, but hate them at the same time. It’s not easy and sometimes it sucks! Then when my daughter hugs me and tells me she loves me I want to punch myself in the stomach to make the feelings of guilt go away. I pretty much let my kids get away with everything right now because I feel like a horrible mom all the time :(

Tash 1 year ago

You sound like my kinda girl! I loved reading this….made me feel normal. I love my boys but it turns out I’m not really cut out for motherhood. I lose it. A lot. But then I start all over again….back on my hamster wheel. Thankfully…I’m a try-er! Tash UK

M 1 year ago

I am a mother of 3. I am also a elementary school teacher. My husband leaves at 5:30am and I don’t see him till 8 pm… I have lost it many times. I appreciated your post! Thank you so much for sharing! You are not alone!!!!

Lea Ann 1 year ago


H 1 year ago

This could not have come at a more perfect time. This morning I seriously yelled “quit fucking fighting!” To my one and two year old. Afterwards I thought, “what mom does that!” I didn’t feel like an MBA/CPA, I felt like a horrible trashy mom. We all have or moments. Thank you for putting words to how I feel.

Wendy 1 year ago

Well! Now I don’t feel so much like an alien mother! Thank you! As a single mother of an 8 n 4yr old… Sweety? You are far from ALONE! Life SUCKS 75% of the time while we run ourselves completely ragged tending to the needs of the ungrateful wretches!!! But, the love for them is what keeps us going. I love them more than anything but seriously? I do fantasize at times of packing their stuff completely and dropping them on their fathers porch…. Routinely. Bit i wouldn’t, ever….. And I know the unconditional love they get here at home with me, is my job. And they deserve it. And in the end, at night, when they are wrapped all around me snoring peacefully? I know the pain and sacrifice is worth it.

Katerina 1 year ago

Hurrah hurrah!! All normal parents who have these moments and actually share with the world that they do, unite here!! Thank you for posting what the rest of the trophy wrapped world is too scared to admit…that we as parents are also something called HUMAN!

Laura 1 year ago

These things are never discussed at baby showers or bridal showers – to prepare us – they’re not discussed in childbirth books/classes or any manual issued by some knowing entity who should tell us BEFORE we have kids. So I hope a lot of young brides and preggos find your blog and get ready for the BIG FUCK YOU!
(I’m not saying there are no good days or rewarding moments – there are – but there are far more ordinary days where you just imagine yourself walking out the front door and keep walkin’.)

Sheila 1 year ago

You are so not alone. At this moment I’m so emotionally fatigued I just want to watch Breaking Bad on netflix all day. But I will rally and do the 50 tasks, no doubt I’ve brought on myself, that my 3 kids, their soccer teams, the service league, and the PTA droids all need to get done. All the while knowing that not one of my kids is going to start their homework when they get home nor go to bed when told, without me standing on my head. Just “Sorry Mom, I forgot” Again.

Denise Gabbard 1 year ago

Great post…I doubt there is a mother alive who hasn’t had a meltdown and felt exactly like this. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your children, it means you are human and have had enough.

S.L.C. 1 year ago

Oh my goodness…were you at my house this weekend? Because you pretty much just described my life right now.

Bethy 1 year ago

I personally feel it’s good to “lose it” once in awhile. If you lose it completely, and don’t insult or physically beat your monsters, then they learn that – SURPRISE!! – you DO have limits on how much of their crap you can take. And they see that you CAN completely lose it and still love them anyway. And maybe – just MAYBE – some of what you said will sink in, and they’ll take more care to be a part of the family instead of just a drain on it. Be strong – we’ve ALL been there.

Liz Raymond 1 year ago

Koodles to you for writing this today. I, like many others have my stories I could share too. A single parent of two boys and I admit the teenage years were hell. It gets better Thank Heavens. But is it tough. But they were my lifeline that kept me here. I love them tremendously. It is for days like today, for you, that I remind mothers that you need to make sure you take time for yourself. Let your children see that you are human too and need time away from them. They need to learn to respect as well. Not sure how much of today’s infuences from t.v. and internet are adding to the disrespect. Connecting and communicating and creating boundaries is key. It not only takes a village to raise a child, it just takes a village. We all need support in one way or another, and I think coming together can certainly help with that.

annie 1 year ago

Bravo! I “only” have two kids but this hit home! Carry on with the honesty!!

Miso N. Grey 1 year ago

THANK YOU for finally telling the truth. I am so sick of all these frilly new mom blogs salivating over their precious babies talking about strollers, haircuts, names, and all kinds of frilly shit that really doesn’t matter. But what you’ve written is truth – the nitty gritty, suck-the-life-out-of-you pain of being a parent that only materializes after the baby days are over. Great work.


Kris 1 year ago

I’m going through a spell of this right now but mine are late teens and should be more responsible and respectful. I know part of the problem is I let them get away with a lot. But they are also old enough to make their own decisions which is very difficult to adjust to.

I also feel like my husband is the third child. He leaves things for me to pick up and blames me when something isn’t done. The other night I yelled F*** you at him. I wish there was a way to make him understand that he is also the problem. Sometimes the kids don’t grow up I guess, they just get married and change mommies :)

Kelly 1 year ago

You aren’t alone… I have a 7, 5, and 3 year old. I have joked, with my husband, that if our seven year old son knew how to flip me off, he would. As a matter of fact, he does with his eyes and facial expressions. As of right now, I’m the worst mother because he can’t get or do all he wants when he wants it. It’s exhausting! Thanks for writing this… I don’t feel so alone in this crazy, hard role.

Deepa 1 year ago

Thank you for writing this! My son is only 9 months old n I love him to bits but it is so fucking emotionally taxing! True that!!

andrea 1 year ago

That’s me every day. Every moment feeling on the verge of snapping, losing the very unstable grip I have on sanity. I love my children dearly, all freaking 7 of them, but more times than not I find myself wondering what the hell has become of my life!? At the end of the day I take a deep breath, have a glass of wine (or a bottle), and swear that tomorrow I will become June frickin Cleaver.

Holly 1 year ago

Thanks so much for this. I have 3 kids, a 9 year old boy and 4 year old boy/girl twins. I absolutely needed to read this, as I turned into some kind of ogre last night because my son didn’t want to take his medicine last night. We spent like 2 hours getting him to take it. 2 HOURS!

And OHMYGOD girls. My daughter is the first girl born into my husband’s family in over a hundred years. I think we’ve got some sort of super estrogen flowing in her veins, because I have flashbacks to highschool and wanting to punch the mean girls in the face. Obviously I’d never punch my daughter in the face, but some days I wish she would aim her Diva somewhere else.

Mike 1 year ago

Change Motherhood to Parenthood. Single dads deal with this too.

Teffany 1 year ago

Everyone of you ladies deserves a hug, beer whatever you need!!! I only have one 8 yr old daughter who is as head strong, stubborn, and fearless when it comes to punishment. I’m a single mom and boy does she push my buttons on a daily basis. But She is also my little jellybean and wouldn’t give her up for the world!!! Thanks every one for being honest!!!

Julie 1 year ago

I thought stepdad was perfect

Julie 1 year ago

You were having an “Are you fucking kidding me?!?!” moment

Susan Alexander 1 year ago

Absolutely. You are so right and so not alone.

Sara Stevens-Stehl 1 year ago

I can so relate to this set of circumstances. How do our children know the day we are most likely to crack and keep pushing the boundaries until we crack? I don’t think it hurts kids to know we have limits, but I also feel like crap when I turn into a screaming maniac. Thanks for sharing and helping me feel human!

Chely 1 year ago

Slow, dramatic clap, crescendo-ing into a ferociously loud, ecstatic applause.
I’ve had quite a few “NO MORE WIRE HANGERS” episodes lately, largely steaming from being outright ignored by FREAKING SEVEN YEAR-OLDS who think they know better than I do.
And the comparison to your mom…YES.

Thank you.

Ann 1 year ago

Teachers, though, (good ones, I mean) generally have a predictable, consistent discipline strategy. Kids behave better when they know what to expect. That might be the reason some kids are “sweet little things” at school but not at home.

Mandy-lee 1 year ago

Oh I so feel u on this one. I have said to myself so many times it’s a miracle my mother didn’t kill us growing up. I have 3 kids. Two daughters that are 15 and 11, and a son that’s 14 and stuck in between them dealing with there ever changing hormones,drama and down right bitchyness. I love my kids to death but they need a reality check often. I’m one person dealing with the task of being a wife, mother, business owner, maid, short order cook, tutor, chauffeur, therapist, and lately a f*cking referee. And I can’t stand it. I hate asking for help so when I say dump the trash I don’t want to say it 10 times. And the talking back, they don’t consider it that. It’s debating or having an opinion. So many times I want to scream. shut the hell up and do what I said! Once they leave for school. I turn off the tv and just bask in the silence. But then reality hits when my husband gets up and I have to deal with the most neediest one of all. But at the end of the day they are my monsters and still love them more than air and know that karma is a bitch and they to will have kids one day. So for now ill just sit back and wait :)

carrie 1 year ago

This is exactly how i feel (and sometimes act). It is hard. Feels good to know I am not the only one.

Ann 1 year ago

Thank you! Exactly what I was thinking!

Maddy6 1 year ago

This is exactly why I quit teaching elementary school. Imagine 25 kids who all think that you exist to serve them? I taught for 5 years and every single year it was a battle to get kids to listen to me. It started to get to the point where I was scared to even have my own children so I quit.

I have more appreciation for my mom though. She was a stay at home mom and frequently lost her shit with us because she felt like we treated her like a servant. Kids only know what they know though, and do not really have the ability for empathy yet. We can’t expect them to truly understand that the world does not revolve around them until we show them.

Lu 1 year ago

I have two of my own (14 and 6) and two step children (26 and 9)… I can’t cope – literally. Yes I did say 26 – but she acts like a 3 year old, luckily she isn’t around much. The 9 year old lives in another world far far away! He can’t dress himself properly, he doesn’t even try to eat with his mouth closed, he literally lets food fall out of his mouth while he chews. When they are yours, for better or worse, you establish the rules and the message is always the same. When they aren’t yours… all hell breaks loose. I am at my wits end.

I Needed This 1 year ago

I found this post at the perfect moment. When I had just had an exhausting evening in which I actually made my 8 year old cry because he realized that I think he respects his teacher more than me.. “I respect you the most of anyone ever, mom. I just get upset and yell at you sometimes!” He said while trying to choke back those crocs. I’m not positive that they were sincere tears, but they sure seemed genuine. We all lose it to some degree, it is what comes next that really matters. My little guy has been correcting his outbursts with immediate apologies for a week! (Something we’ve been preaching for 2 years)

Sorry this is so long, but I also wanted to comment that at least your husband isn’t there… and by that I don’t mean you’d rather him BE gone, but the same day as the aforementioned incident, I was bombarded by feelings of utter disrespect and lack of appreciation as I was making dinner, facilitating homework and tending to a tantrumy 1 year old and looked over to see my loving husband on the couch watching reruns of The Office. Not to mention I’d worked a trying day…. oh the wonderful tribute to motherhood!

BeachBadger 1 year ago

Honestly, my mother was the same way with me growing up. She was extremely controlling, constantly lost her temper, chased me through the house, threatened me etc….. Everything you are doing here with your children. Right now you are permanently damaging your relationship with your children. When you are totalitarian, controlling force in their lives, they will always fight you.

You have to remember that your children are people, just like you. And they have thoughts and feelings just like you do.

It honestly sounds like you are suffering from what my mother and many people in my family (including myself) have and constantly struggle with; narcissistic personality disorder. Now bear in mind, this does not mean you are weak, evil, or an unfit mother. But I beg of you to consider therapy, both for your peace of mind and for you to have healthy and long-lasting relationships with your children. Therapy will give you the tools you need to work with your children instead of against them.

I honestly have no ill will here. I just do not want any more people to suffer like my family has suffered.

Sally 1 year ago

I am now a grandmother, but once when my girls were young they pushed me to my limit. On a morning similar to the one described but with a teenage twist. I completely decompensated and ended up with fists clenched, head thrown back, screaming “FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK”!!!!! At the top of my lungs mind you. The girls stood silently, staring at me before slowly backing away to do what I had asked them to do. My first thought was not guilt, nope I thought to myself “well that worked well, I’m keeping that little move in my back pocket”. I think I lost it 2 times in their teen years and used the “F” word. People might think I’m a terrible mother, but I gotta tell you when I used that word they knew I had been pushed too far and suddenly everyone was cooperative and putting on a happy face. You can’t put a price on that 😉

Tereasa 1 year ago

I’m in tears over here after reading this. I’m so happy to know I’m not the only one that goes through these meltdowns. I had one just today. My son is 13 and thinks he knows everything and has something to say about everything. He told me today that I make everything about me… I lost it! I always feel like a horrible mother afterwards. I should of had more self composure, but I was just blinded by fury and I couldn’t control it… I too feel completely alone. My husband is away and I feel like I’ve reached my max stress level and I’m about to have a nervous breakdown.
I’ll pull it together of course, I have no choice but too. But sometimes, I don’t want to hold it together. I would like for once to be able to lose it and have somebody else be the rock and pick up the pieces…

LeeAnn B 1 year ago

Thank you for losing it. Actually, thank you for being brave enough to say you lost it. WHEW! I feel less alone.

Michelle 1 year ago

You are not alone.

Sylvia 1 year ago

Thank you! It’s like you peered into my mind with this post. Man I feel like the worst mom in the world some days and this makes me feel better. Not alone.

Elizabeth 1 year ago

Hali-fucking-lulia! Someone else who loses her shit! Nothing worse than feeling that you’re alone with this. I’m glad to see I’m not and hope you feel better knowing that I’m right there too! Sometimes I am mommy of the year and sometimes I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing.

ParentingtheCore 1 year ago

We have all been there. The best we can do is try to make sure that losing it is the exception, and not the rule.

The door thing drives me batty. My older daughter slammed her door regularly when she was mad a few years back. Then a friend gave me a tip: new rule, if a kid slams the door to her room, the door gets removed from its hinges and placed under the parents’ bed until the parents decide to return it. We tried it. We had to do it exactly once. My kids can certainly be obnoxious at times in other ways, but they do not want to lose their privacy by slamming doors ever again (the kids’ bedroom doors in our house don’t lock). Good luck.

Kristen 1 year ago

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this. I’ve had what feels like word for word this same morning interaction right down to chasing my 8 year old up the stairs to have a door slammed in my face. I’ve dropped my three at school only to cry in the parking lot sad, ashamed and feeling like a failure and wishing for a “do over” to start their school day off “right”. But the truth is there is no right, only my best which sometimes isn’t that great.
Thanks again for helping bring me out of the bad mommy closet!

Lindy 1 year ago

Yes! I have done this! I’m sure that once my kid knows the meaning of bipolar he will say “Oh, THAT is why my mom screamed and ranted like a crazy person in the car and then pulled me out of class to hug me and tell me she loves me.” There is nothing like proving to your kids that you are a stark-raving lunatic.

Lucy 1 year ago

Love your comment !

Lucy 1 year ago

When I read this just now I feel the exact same way, you’re not alone going through any of this. I’ve had meltdowns exactly the same. It’s from not having help or cooperative children. My kids are grown and still disrespect me. It truly is a thankless job.
Stay positive think positive everything will be okay.

Fred 1 year ago

As a single dad, I hear you. With a 13 yr old girl and 16 yr old boy, my job as a parent is a challenge.

I found that I had to earn my children’s respect rather than demand it. Part of that is allowing them to fail and not rescue them. When they go hungry because they left their lunch, snack or money at home, they have stopped “forgetting.”

Also, I’ve not yelled at them in over 3 years. I just turn off devices: TV, computer, tablet, etc. it’s much easier on their ears and no more feeling remorseful.

Anna 1 year ago

I feel your pain every single day. Wouldn’t trade them for all the luxury & freedom in the world, but man is it ever HARD!

Catherine Stone 1 year ago

Like everything else God has been taken out of the home and been replaced with TV, Video Games, virtual reality entertainment, our society has made us over the years feel guilty for not giving our children all the fun/hip new toys and electronics… were becoming institutionalized as a Nation… WE dont play board games read book or the bible anymore. We hardly even cook and eat meal together much less say Grace…. My husband and I do not have little ones home any more but we were becoming wrapped up in FB, TV, electronics, media and horrible world news…. We finally had enough we now have flip phones, no TV, we read at least 3/4 times a week in the evening , we are back in church… We do however have internet as I use it for work and we watch a movie now and then on Net flick or Crackle but thats it… Our stress level has dropped tremendously ….Put God first and things will change you’ll gain the respect of your children but most importantly self respect and a relationship with God and that my dear is Priceless…..

Lina 1 year ago

For those that feel the need to criticize, think again. No one is perfect. Being a mom IS hard. It CAN be rewarding but most of the time unappreciated. We have all been there before. I have been there before. I’m a single parent with a 16, 8, and 6 yr old so believe when I say I have those days too when all you want to do is get in your car and drive. With no particular destination but to just get out. You are not alone and I think it is very brave of you to tell your story.

Natalie 1 year ago

Exactly how I feel, we’ll written!

Dixie 1 year ago

I feel ya girl! I deal with that and more. I am a stepmom…aka the evil stepmother minus the hairy wart. I get zero support from the bio mom, and she preaches to the kids how horrible I am because she is insecure. There are many times I want to pack up and disappear. Where has all of the love and empathy gone in this world. I don’t want a gold medal, but let me have some peace! I’m sure you’re doing an amazing job…do something nice for yourself and carry on!

AnnaMaria 1 year ago

I just keep coming back to this. Over and over. Everything you said is right on the money! I feel you!!! All of it. The good, bad, and the ugly! You aren’t alone, and now I know I’m not either!

Tara 1 year ago

My sister in motherhood, I hear you and I validate you! Thank you for giving me the words to read to my husband so he, too, can know how we feel. Love my children, but geez-louise do they suck the life out of me! Your comment about opening yourself up for criticism is exactly why we are in this place. Moms need to uplift each other, cheer each other on, and give each other a hug every now and then, b/c motherhood is NOT for sissies! Love you big! I hear ya and I feel ya!

Rachel 1 year ago

It’s the “for me” thing that I have a problem with! If somebody dusted the entertainment center, it’s not “for me.” It’s for the household! I get almost as mad at people acting like they did a chore “for me” as I do about just having to do it all. IT’S NOT FOR ME PEOPLE! IT’S FOR THIS HOUSEHOLD! It’s for YOU. It’s for your DAD! It’s for ALL OF US!

Ann 1 year ago

Bravo! Totally agree with you, Joe.

Ann 1 year ago

Finally, someone with enough sense to understand how to prevent problems before they become huge issues, and who disciplines in a way that works the first time so you’re not constantly repeating yourself, which obviously eventually teaches your kids they don’t have to listen to you.

Ann 1 year ago

James didn’t say any of the ridiculous words you put in his mouth. He didn’t say that parenting isn’t difficult and messy and frustrating at times, and he never said that he’s a perfect parent. But it IS possible to get through the day without being verbally abusive, scaring and threatening your kids, and being, as James said, emotionally immature and dysfunctional.

Ann 1 year ago

I totally agree, Joey. She needs help.

Ann 1 year ago

I COMPLETELY AGREE with James and Tabitha Bee!!

Jamie 1 year ago

I can relate. I have a 3 year old, 1 year old and a 2 month old. Up until last week I had 3 kids under too. I also lost my daughter to SIDS and would be 4. Some days are thus hard. Other days they are like angels and I wonder what took over their body for this to happen. I don’t have many friends with younger kids and most the time I only get adult interactions while talking to my husband who is a truck driver. Most the time I’m on my own. I have break down and lose it at times but I know that it can all be taken away just like my daughter was. And I think that’s what hurts me most. That I Still Feel Over Whelmed Sometimes Even After What Happened To My daughter. Makes me feel like I’m failing as a mom.

Robin G. 1 year ago

Great post. It’s a universal situation. Yet I am wondering why the trip to take the forgotten lunch to the eight year old? That is old enough to begin to learn the consequences of our actions. Or maybe tell her “I am bringing you your forgotten lunch today, but next time it is forgotten I won’t bring it.” So that she has been warned. If she has a decent breakfast, which I know she will, then she’ll be okay for one day without lunch.

Alicia 1 year ago

Thank you for your very real and refreshing post. We all do it, or at least I know I do. You’re brave for sharing it publicly, thank you.

Jen 1 year ago

I feel like this all the time and have said all these exact same things to my kids! For everything we do its nice to have a little appreciation and respect! Your not alone I bet most mom’s feel this way :)

Bonnie 1 year ago

Being a wife and mother IS hard! My husband didn’t travel, but also never lifted a finger to do anything to help out at home. He felt his job was to work, then when he got home he was done. I work a full time job, always have! Then come home and take care of everything else, cook, clean, help with homework, taxi service, I even mowed the yard! Believe me, every mom has lost it with her kids! It can be very overwhelming being a mom!

Sarah 1 year ago

I love the raw, gritty, HONEST tone of this article. It reminded me of myself at times. Bravo Lisa for exposing what we all feel at times. And of course you drove the lunch back to school. Based on what you feel, the love you have for your kids, in spite of them giving you more “sparkle” (not gray hair, sparkle), we do our job as Mom. The end justify’s the means! Love it…want to read more. Have a beautiful Friday!

Malinda 1 year ago

so. much. YES!! I almost never post comments, but I just had to tell you: No criticism here. No judgment here. Just this: I COMPLETELY understand this. “Like you were watching my house” understand this. Thank you for being real and showing me that I’m not the only who loses it JUST LIKE THIS sometimes. Thank you. You are not alone, and I now I know that neither am I.

Kitty 1 year ago

The really screwed up thing is you
Think that once they turn 18 things get better . Not even they start having kids of their own then they get even by using the grand kids against you. When you don’t won’t or can’t help them out financially they will keep you form seeing the babies, or they don’t call just to chat or let ya know all is well they only call to ask you to pay for something .

Kelly 1 year ago

Umm maybe she shouldn’t have had 7 kids?!

Ashley 1 year ago

To all off the wonderful amazing moms that have read this and feel the same, you all incredible and appreciated. I am not yet a mom but I was an assholic daughter for many years. I want to tell you that something very positive will come out of all of the annoying, horrible, mean, disrespectful things your children do. One day they will be your best friend. I was a jerk of a daughter especially as a teen. My mom and I fought all the time. Now, I am 29 and I can honestly say that she is my best friend In the entire world. I do know what who or where I would be with out her. I talk to her every day and see her as often as possible. When your kids, especially the daughters, upset you, just remember that one day they will be your best friend. Even though they are jerks and don’t know how to say it they appreciate everything you do for them. They just have not realized it yet. :)

Jo 1 year ago

I have done this before, sadly more than once. And immediately afterward, I feel horrible. I feel as though I do everything and get nothing in return. Like you said, even just being listened to, if I don’t get a “thank you” would be enough, but one can only take being ignored and walked on for so long. I especially have to hold it in because I work five nights a week at a restaurant with coworkers whom I feel are getting special treatment and obviously customers, who come on, don’t always tip well, have me running all the time, and rarely say thank you, as adults. I just always feel neglected.

My outbursts, like yours, involve swearing and yelling, and most times, and I add tears, through no fault of my own. It’s just been so bottled up for so long. It frightens my boys, who are now 8&10. But only frightens them for a small amount of time, usually long enough to actually START unloading the dishwasher that I was freaking out about, then they start the arguing with eachother which makes me leave the room before I go ballistic lol.

We mothers! We need more hours in the day, more gratitude, and less sass from the wee ones

Peggy 1 year ago

Hey guys…I am 64 and when I raised my kids it wasn’t easy either. I think it must be a story hundreds of years old….

laura 1 year ago

Well, what are you showing kids when “breaking point” means turning into a swearing, screeching, mean person who blames others instead of taking personal responsibility to A) breath B) apologize for one’s behavior?

We all get frustrated, angry, break… but HOW we act is what defines us

Jennifer Wirth 1 year ago

Thank you for making me feel not alone. That situation you described happens at my house from time to time. And everytime I “loose” it I feel so guilty and such a failure. Thanks for showing us that motherhood is a marathon not a sprint!

Laura 1 year ago

Totally with you.

Amanda 1 year ago

Wow… just wow. THANK YOU!! I have a teenager who I have yet to figure out how he made it to being a teenager. So glad to hear that I am not the only mom who has a meltdown then feels bad over it. BUt you sound like one hell of an awesome mom to me. GO you!

Ann 1 year ago

I’ve read hundreds of replies to this blog entry and not one parent has denied having the occasional blowout; you’re putting words in their mouths. Folks have suggested that she was over the top, that she should learn some self-control, that she should have apologized, that she should get some help, that she should find a discipline strategy that works, that she should have prevented the whole channel-changing issue before it became an issue, and that her daughter was seeking attention, among other things. (All of which I agree with, BTW.) But nobody is saying they haven’t lost it themselves. Everybody’s done it. It’s snarky, rude commenters (much like yourself) who say crap like “oh, like you’re so perfect” or “I guess everything’s all rainbows and butterflies at your house” or “you must not have kids”–YOU’RE the ones saying that commenters who have a problem with this post are pretending they don’t ever lose their tempers. So keep your “fuck you” to yourself. It just makes you (and commenters like you) look guilty and defensive.

I’ve read a bunch of these “being a mom is tough” blogs and they’re great–they remind you that you’re not alone and that raising kids can be maddening at times, bla bla bla. But the one thing the authors of blog posts like those (generally) have in common is not only the ability to vent their frustrations in a relatable way and allow you to go “OMG parenting DOES suck sometimes!” but also to remind you about the times that don’t suck, or to lift you up a bit with a funny story, or suggest stuff you can do so you don’t lose it–whatever, just something positive or helpful along with the complaining. This post, to me, is full of nothing but self-centered anger, venom, whining, and martyrdom. I feel sorry for the kids of all the commenters who said they feel like the blogger does all the time, or that they blow up at their kids like that (or worse) on a regular basis, or that Annabelle deserved worse than she got. I feel like this post gives permission to parents on the edge to just go ahead and lose it instead of trying to reign it in, be reasonable, and model self control.

The first several years of my sons’ lives were nightmarish for all of us. My husband was deployed 9-10 months out of the year for 5 years. My bipolar was severe and uncontrolled at the time and I had no family support. If I had read this negative post back then I would have felt like hey, it’s OK to blow up over the little things! It’s OK to curse at and chase and frighten my kids and be angry and hateful. I finally got good help, fortunately, and my relationship with my boys is better than I ever imagined it could be. Yeah it sucks sometimes but most of the time they behave and they’re respectful and life is good. So we haven’t had it easy (and I know that many have been through/are going through much worse) but hopefully things can get better for those of you who are struggling.

Anyway, my point is–get over yourself. Motherhood isn’t saying “fuck you” to you. It’s just another life challenge and you suck it up and figure out how to manage without making yourself and everyone else miserable in the process.

Cindy 1 year ago

Thanks for being honest. You are certainly not alone and anyone who doesn’t get this, hasn’t walked in your (or my) shoes. I felt like I was reading my own blog!!

Mom of 4 1 year ago

You just wrote down everything I feel on a daily basis. Being a more m is a thankless job. That is until your children become parents themselves and they have that moment of melt down. I sometimes understand why some animals eat their young!

Wendy 1 year ago

Good for you! Sometimes, just getting it out in words and throwing it on the table is the best way to move past the absolute absurdity of these moments.
If it’s any consolation, I’ve recently reached the point where they circle back around, and i’ve become awesome and knowledgable; damn, I actually know shit! My oldest is 24 and living on his own about 90 minutes from me. And he calls a few times during the week on his lunch breaks, to chat and do things like ASK FOR MY ADVICE! And then, he often TAKES IT! For real, I do not lie. It is truly amazing and thrilling. I wasn’t sure I’d live to see the day.
I have three great kids that I’m reasonably sure they will be productive members of society. But, it’s often so hard to see the forest for the trees. I still have to get the other two to this point. I console myself with the thought that we are 7/8 and 3/5 of the way there. Wish me luck.

Rachel 1 year ago

Most of us have been there. It’s not easy, but it is worth the hugs, kisses and the “mom you’re the best” s, Stay strong, and know you are not alone.

Jessica 1 year ago

This article hits home. I have a two year old and four month old. I don’t remember what it was, but my two year old was pestering me for something yesterday that I’d already ‘no’ to (and she is plenty old enough to understand no, etc). Her little brother has been sleeping like crap, which means I’ve been sleeping like crap. He had been fussing all day. I ended up yelling at her to go to her room.

And immediately felt horrible. My mom used to yell at us like that, and I hated it as a kid, so I went in to her room, sat down with her, apologized for yelling and explained it wasn’t her fault (she’d been asking me to play, when I was caught up in a flurry of cleaning because family is coming to visit this weekend). I then asked her what she wanted to do and we went and did it.

I know I have a temper. I know I’m not always going to be able to control it. But I try my damn hardest to remind myself that even if my kids aren’t thankful for me (yet), I am thankful for them and they don’t deserve to be treated like crap because I am tired/frustrated/overwhelmed. I accept that sometimes, I’m going to yell, and remind myself to apologize afterward.

Jessica 1 year ago

Haha. My kids’ grandparents aren’t allowed to do that. It’s hard enough to raise kids in this day and age without my children having one set of rules here and one set of rules at the grandparents’ houses. (This would probably be different if they saw them occasionally, but they live a few minutes away and see our kids a few times a month). Because the last thing I need when my kid is asking for something I have already said ‘no’ to a dozen times is her tacking on a “But Grandma and Grandpa let me.”

Jennifer 1 year ago

OMG. I had THIS. VERY. RANT. on Saturday. The explosive white hot rage. Flames shooting from my head. So horrible that my husband, who walked into the house in the middle of the rage after taking family to the airport, told me I needed to leave the house to cool off. Yeah. Just what I wanted to hear from him, that *I’M* the one out of control and needs to leave. You can just imagine the anger. Our children exhibited no discipline, no respect for anything their mother has asked them to do for the last 2 hours, and you’re telling ME to leave the house!?!?!!!!!! You’re not even taking my side!?!?!!!!!!! You are, by no means, alone. Bless you for letting me know I am not alone.

Nitsa 1 year ago

I love you.
Thank you for such an honest, heartfelt peice.

kim 1 year ago

I have lived this same scene, same words, same feelings, everything but the catalyst that set me off was the same. Thank you for this post! It’s lovely to know I am not alone!

Ellen Z 1 year ago

Every mom feels that way, I do not care how wonderful you are.Thank God those kids do not judge you harshly for the few times (a month, a year, a day or an hour) that you lose it. They will remember the great mom that you are if you make sure to remember that they male mistakes too. This may sound wacked, but the kids may not say “I know you are a great mom, and thanks for the things you do for me” but they do say thanks in different ways, you just have to look for them. I just hope (speaking like the grandma of two and mother of two) that when the thank-yous come, you will not be too tired or stressed to notice. Thanks will come in the form of a restaurant lunch or dinner enjoyed with no screaming kids, or an excursion to the grocery store where those children help you get stuff in aisle and putting it into the cart, or when you can have an simple enjoyable conversation in the car without yelling. All those times when you enjoy your kids, and are having fun, you need to remember that the moment is a thank you for being a good parent. I only hope that you can enjoy those times and will remember to say thank you for a job well done to your children, because you know what it feels like to not be noticed and to be unappreciated. You would not want someone you love to feel the way you do. Don’t beat up on yourself moms, you are allowed to feel sorry for yourself for all of 15 minutes, then keep moving. Contrary to what a lot of “old” people say, the children today are no different than children of the 50’s or 80’s, they are smart and kind and mirror images of the love they receive. You are doing a great job, and the fact that you feel a little guilty is ok, it means your are self evaluating and can improve where you see a problem. Guilt is not necessary, feeling good about yourself and self reflection is. MARCH ON! You are doing a great job!

Tammy 1 year ago

This is my life to a T. I’ve been a stay at home mom of 4 for 13 years and ive dealt with those feelings more and more as the kids get older.

Ferrari Mom 1 year ago

Valerie, I have been where u are at! I am a mom of 5. I went through that for a little while with my oldest and finally decided enough is enough. Now I buy Walmart clothes, shoes, ect. I tell my kids if they want something other than what I am choosing/able to buy then they had better save up half the money on their own and I will match the other half. My 13 year old just purchased a brand new cell phone with $$ she saved from babysitting neighborhood kids and my 12 year old mowed lawns all summer to buy a kindle. Instead of the snotty entitled attitude they are seeing how hard it really is and showing WAY more respect and gratitude. Give it a try and you will be shocked at how well it works. :)

Heather 1 year ago

So so so true! I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels this way! Kuddos to you my dear for having the courage to post it. I read this right after dropping my 5 year old off at school late because someone moved my keys and I had to spend twenty minutes finding them. The overall is fulfilling but day to day is exactly what you put….emotionally taxing.

Tina Dulany 1 year ago

I feel the same way!!! You are the best and love reading your articles!!!!

Ness 1 year ago

OMG My eyes just welled up with tears. Thank you for being brave enough to tell it like it really is. I kirked out like this yesterday morning and was feeling like a horrible person. It never ceases to amaze me how beat up motherhood can make you feel at times. Some days, it just breaks you down…and the tears just start streaming down your face. How can people so small bring you so close to losing your mind? Thank goodness we aren’t alone.

Bianca 1 year ago

Same here, yelled at my 7 year old just two days ago uttering the words ” enough with this bulls@?t” felt so bad but sometimes it is just to hard. Reading covey book called 7 habits if highly effective families and must admit the book is giving me some new insight into how to make our family run as a better unit – myself mainly :-)

Bronwyn 1 year ago

I had a meltdown with my one child. He can be so in my face and the longer I stay calm, the harder he works at getting under my skin; he’s 17 and he know everything. He freely admits that. I told him if he feels the need to mock me, he better get used to having his ass chewed. He had no response. That actually almost never happens.

Missy 1 year ago

Echoing all that! Ashamedly. And here I am trying to get to know Jesus better. U know what tho? As I read someone else’s journey of the same stuff- I suddenly have a revelation. Jesus was the perfect kid. And God has adopted the rest of us. CHOSE! Kinda made me think- we get our ‘poor me’ pouts on, ‘we want’ this, ‘how come’ that, and ‘I don’t want to’ the next thing…He really is the Ultimate Mommy.
Thanks so much for sharing- right there in the trenches with u.

Krista 1 year ago

I cried reading this… it absolutely rings true… and the bad part is – I am “mom” at work and in social activities too… I feel your pain – and I admire you for your candor. <3

Gayla 1 year ago

You are most certainly not alone. I have 11 year old twin girls. One was diagnosed last year as ADHD inattentive type. Yet she’s less likely to cop an attitude when I need a chore done than her twin sister. “Set the table”. Eye roll. Take out the garbage,(insert whiny voice here) “why do you make us dooooo all this stuuuufffff!!!??” You would think I was asking them to sort me a bowl of m&ms by colour. Or milk the cows, or shear the sheep (btw, we have neither. We live in a suburb). You get my point.

My first piece of advice, get that lock off that door! Kids should not be able to lock people out.

Abbie 1 year ago

This is me. Oh my goodness it’s like you can read my mind. Fabulous post. Thank you for putting it out there.

Michelle p. 1 year ago

Wow. I felt like I could have wrote this article. I feel like this too done mornings. I’m a single mom getting 3 daughters ready for school and I have a routine and if one of them messes with it by fighting or whining or not listening it turns me into a monster ! I’m trying to do better. I hate cussing at my my kids and the f bomb comes out big time when I’m in monster mode!

Sherry 1 year ago

Fucking awesome. Love how you kept it real.

Diane 1 year ago

Luckily, I am a grandma now; however, to get here, I had to be a mother. I was a police officer & them an attorney, and there is no job harder than being Mom. I “lost it” a couple of times with both children, before they were teens. I think I gained wisdom during their teen years &, instead of yelling & screaming, I gained some wisdom. & set boundaries & consequences that were difficult to argue with.
Now I’m in a position to support my daughter with her two littles. There is light at the end of the tunnel, but it takes a lot of digging in to see it. It’s the most rewarding & yet, the most difficult job there is. I pray for mothers daily… It is so much more difficult with the social & electronic medium available to littles & teens today.

JD 1 year ago

Um, I love you for writing this! You are def NOT alone.

Ellen 1 year ago

Time to get rid of the TV and limit other screen time. If it’s such a point of contention, make it go away. Your kids will live and find other things to do. I watch so many friends’ families being over-run by screen arguments. Just get rid of it.

Tessa 1 year ago

So thankful to read about another mother losing it. I have been a single mother for almost two years now. My daughter fights me tooth and nail EVERYDAY for her dad leaving. I’ve had these moments many times and apologized many times.

Kelly 1 year ago

You are absolute NOT alone!! I am so happy and thankful to have a woman like you that puts it all out there, it makes me feel like I’m not alone so thank you!!

Amber 1 year ago

I just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to write this. I have been having a few mommy break Downs lately after just having our second (our first is 3.5) and it gives me great relief that I’m not alone and although I feel like the worse mom in the world after, I’m not alone.

Sherry 1 year ago

Finally, I am not alone!! Kids today are a real challenge. So much is thrown at them with the social media and all around ignorance in the world. Being a mom can really suck sometimes!!!

Amanda 1 year ago

Just to let you know how much this post belongs to me and my 3 boys, I have a friend who tag me in it and asked if I was the “ghost writer” for it. Every single friend liked it. I think she’s trying to tell me something. Amen for somebody to have the guts to say what motherhood is REALLY like. Yes we all have those days, yes we all have crazy kids and feel crazy ourselves. BUT being moms, we wouldn’t have it any other way. Not all kids are rainbows and sunshine (far from it) I think kids are put on earth to test our sanity. Then we can laugh at our own kids when THEY have kids and they are being tested. THANK YOU for this, it’s exactly what I needed today.

WildWmnDFP 1 year ago

I apologize in advance…

I laughed… I giggled… I rolled my eyes… :) Sometimes going BAT SHIT CRAZY is the only thing that works. I used to be the ever grateful for anything my child did type of mom. I praised him for everything. I hugged, I kissed, I mussed hair… I’ve driven all over the city to buy uniforms, sports equipment, school supplies, special tennis shoes, etc… THEN… HE TURNED TEENAGER on me… He used to be such a well mannered child. Please, Thank You, Yes ma’am, No ma’am… THEN…. PUBERTY struck. OMGawd! Ask him to take out the trash… it’s like slave labor. Ask him to empty the dishwasher… someone is going to call the cops. Ask him to feed the cats… they look at me because they know they’ll starve waiting for him.

Unfortunately for most of us… the Mother’s Curse works. You know… the one your mother cursed you with when you were a kid “I hope you have kids just like you some day!” I wasn’t a “bad” child, but I was a rebel. I defied authority every chance I got. I pushed my limits. I did things MY way. I don’t think I turned out half bad. BUT…. smh… I’m proud, and a little frightened, that he’s JUST LIKE ME. :)

His saving grace… EVERYONE tells me what a great kid he is… so polite, so very helpful, so sweet, so kind…. REALLY?!?! You ARE talking about MY child, correct? He has no problems carrying 50 lb bags of feed for several other boarders. He cleans stalls, picks up after other’s horses, moves hay, sweeps, rakes, ANYTHING & EVERYTHING for others. :) Of course, I’m always the one carrying feed for my horse… cleaning up after my horse… As long as everyone else LOVES him, I’m okay with the lack of “help” I get at the house. He’s a good kid and I only have 3 more years of him being MINE. :)

Tim 1 year ago

I should add that I do understand having an outburst of frustration and anger in front of your children. What I don’t condone is the excuse-making and rationalization after the fact without any sense of remorse. In other words, instead of writing a post about “I did this, here’s why and here’s why it was WRONG” the author wrote “I did this, here’s why and here’s why it was NECESSARY”. As I was reading, I kept waiting for the writer to redeem herself in the reader’s mind, and she never does.

Lori 1 year ago

I have raised three kids of my own and now raising my 6 year old grandson. I forgot how much work it was to raise kids! I have done the same melt down a few times and no Im not proud of it but I think its necessary to do sometimes. For our sanity and for the kids to understand what we do for everyone. It is very hard work. And very unappreciated at times but that’s why we are the stronger sex! LOL

Susie 1 year ago

I agree 100 percent . Kids get the better of you and know how to push buttons. This is a sincere Mom who knows she did wrong by swearing at her kids, but some days it just builds up and when it does there is an explosion and you never know what will come out. I have lived it too. Kuddos to her . I appreciate her honesty and I thought I was the only Mom who has had a blow up with her kids. Now I know from all the comments I am only human and not a monster. Thanks for the replies everyone , you all made me feel a whole lot better. Not right in the situation , but human by making mistakes and having blow ups.

Kelly 1 year ago

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Not only for being h

Joe 1 year ago

The idea that someone is frustrated because they have way more kids than they can apparently handle isn’t big news. The reason some people choose to have fewer kids is because we see our friends with 3, 4 or kids and see the nightmare that is their life. It is clled being a informed decision maker. Some people don’t think their choices through. This is one of the cases of you got exactly what you paid for. Sorry if this doesn’t add anything positive to the conversation, but the whole article is pretty darn negative.

Katherine Nobles 1 year ago

There’s a reason God only trusted me with one child. Bless you for putting up with more! Of curse, I did become a teacher, so perhaps I am a masochist.

Deven 1 year ago

A thousands yes! I have two boys, even though they’re under the age of 3 it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. I’m a stay at home mom and go to school online so it’s very hard trying to balance them, school work, house work and trying lose baby weight. My fiance is gone all day, he’s a teacher and when he’s home he doesn’t want to help. We live with his dad and brother and they don’t want to help either. So I’m not just picking up after my boys, myself and my fiance but also two other people. My two year old acts like a teenager sometimes. You tell him to do something and he just looks at you like your stupid or ignores you. Like he’ll look at you from the corner of his eye then keep doing what he’s doing. I haven’t had a day to myself in two and half years.

Jean 1 year ago

I know Motherhood is hard and I know all of you love your kids. I lost my only child, my Son, 17 years ago. He was a senior in high school. Raising him was the BEST years of my life and I would give anything in this world to have the opportunity to do it all over again. I wish I had your problems. God Bless every Mom out there.

JoCRNA 1 year ago

Here’s the problem, you feel alone and you shouldn’t! The perfect picture is a lie and should never make you feel less than who you are. We are moms and women who are held to unrealistic standards. Only when we talk and stop hiding behind that “perfect” life will others find it acceptable to just be who we are.

dawn 1 year ago

I am so on the same page as you…you are not alone…

Nichol 1 year ago

Yes!!! Well said.

Nichol 1 year ago

AMEN!!!!!!!! I too get to this exact same point. More often than not lately with a teen and pre-teen plus a 9 yr old girl child who thinks she’s 15.

And you know what? It’s OKAY!!! Motherhood is not martyrdom. We are ALLOWED our own emotions.
Thankfully, this day is not every day, and now is not forever. One of the guarantees of parenting is that change is your constant companion.

Victoria 1 year ago

DITTO! I felt like I was reading about myself! I 100% agree with everything you wrote! You are not alone in your fight for a little respect for the rules and a little cooperation! I get you!!!!!

Nancy 1 year ago

Omg!! This is the perfect article that describes the fear and blessing of being a parent, a mother at that. I thank you for writing such real thoughts and making me shake my head with agreement. I’ve learned thru the years that venting is helpful, a release so to speak. This article made me laugh this morning. I deal with a 13yr old every morning and although she’s not 8 she might as well be.

Naomi 1 year ago

I know exactly how you feel. I have 6 kids, 4 girls and 2 boys. I love them to death but they drive me crazy. Everyday my 4yr old has a meltdown that consists of her screaming for at least an hour and she does it 3 to 4 times a day. My 2yr old has picked up on this behavior and tries to do it now. I’m also dealing with 2 teenagers (a girl and a boy) and their hormones. My house is always in chaos!

kim 1 year ago

Well. I’ve been there. 4 kids and sometimes I’m afraid they’re going to tell someone how crazy I am. Thank God the little ones can’t use the phone yet. Thanks for letting me know I’m not the ONLY crazy one out there.

Daniel 1 year ago

I can only wish for those times with my children. To be able to teach them that being a respectable and polite individual will get them farther in life than being a person who lacks self control and discipline. There are times when displaying extreme emotional dissatisfaction is deemed appropriate. Like when crossing the street without looking to pet a stray dog. When reaching for a pan of food on the hot stove. When using a spray bottle of cleaner to style a siblings hair and not the spray bottle of water. Children learn from example. From being taught by explaination. Yelling and loosing it over changing the channel can easily be delt with by parental blocks, removing the remote control, and simply explaining to them that what they see is wrong. ” son, would you want someone to call you those names, treat you like they are treating them on tv?” Etc.
So many parents discount the gift they have been given in a child that it discussed me to read such posts from a parent who chooses not have self control. When the child gets older and the situation arises with their children would you want to witness this mistreatment. Or would you react to it as an adult teaching a child right from wrong. I lost my children. I would give my soul to have them back. Stop and look into their r eyes and see that they want to know why not to do this or that. Explain to them the outcome.AAppreciate your gift from heaven.

Liene T. 1 year ago

I could kiss you for saying all the things out loud that I say to myself in my head every day and occasionally take out not only on my kids, but on my husband. What we do is completely thankless and emotionally draining. I am exhausted. I just want my kids to tell me they love me as many times as they can a day. I have a 10-yr old, almost 11- yr old son that calls me either ‘stupid’, ‘idiot’, or ‘jerk’ daily. He yells and screams and thinks I am the worst mother in the world because I don’t want him to turn out to be a juvenile delinquent. Heaven forbid he be a upstanding, God-loving, decent young man!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Victoria 1 year ago

This is exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you.

Carrie-Ann 1 year ago

You have no idea how much I needed this post today – glad I’m not alone! Thanks for being real mama! :-)

Stacy 1 year ago

You are not alone! I am so thankful you took the chance to be honest.

Ruby 1 year ago

Wait until you become a grandmother and your grand kids add to the disrespect. It absolutely break your heart to be so disrespected. It’s like a knife stabbing you with each comment. Stab, stab, stab.

Samantha M 1 year ago

Oh my goodness I did this the other day at the mall. I told her not to wear those pink patent leather shoes because they would hurt her feet. She ignored me and then whined and bitched on the floor at the mall about her feet. So I picked her up and I left the shoes on the trash bin and went home. She cried about them all the way home. And I didn’t care….

Miranda 1 year ago

I have one boy. he’s not even 2 for crying out loud and there have been a few days where he drives me frickin’ BONKERS with his whining and up-my-ass-ness. lol i loved this piece and all the comments. FINALLY real people who aren’t afraid to admit they’re human!!

Kendra 1 year ago

I have lived this moment over and over again. I sometimes want to scream and scream until I know that they get it. I want to see that lightbulb turn on in their head.

Melissa 1 year ago

OMG. I once screamed at my 4th grader so loudly, and scared him so badly, that he ran out of the house. He disappeared! I had just picked him up from school, and while we were still at school, I asked him point-blank, “Do you have everything you need for your homework?” Him: “Yes.” Me: “Do you have all the books you will need?” Him: “Yes.” Me: “Are you absolutely sure?” Him: “Yes.” We had this exchange because in the several weeks leading up to this exchange, he had continually, and almost daily, forgotten something he needed for his homework. A book, a paper, something. So now I was showing up and asking him point blank, before we even got in the car, if he had everything he needed. About 15 minutes after we arrived home, he come downstairs and reported to me that he had left his math book at school. That was it. I LOST IT. I screamed so loud and so violently that he was shaking. He ran out of the house and disappeared. I had to call my husband at work and beg him to come home and help me calm down and find my son. Turns out, he ran all the way back to the school to get that Math book. But he’s never forgotten that day (he’s 16 now) and the guilt I have because of it is tremendous. My worst parenting moment ever. At least he’s okay. He’s doing well in school and he’s a very funny, well adjusted kid. Thank God.

Sandy 1 year ago

Ok – So I know this post isn’t for the ONE time … But really? you KNOW your daughter is going to change the channel – take the remote with you. Better yet! NO TV in the morning! (i know – break through parenting ideas)

And, why are there locks on the doors if you don’t want the kids to use them? Kinda like leaving the remote there knowing it will get used. Remove the offending items. Make life easier for all of you. Kids are going to make bad decisions. That’s why we commit to raising them and why laws are different when you’re younger. Give them the ability to make some REAL life learning bad decisions that you can help them with rather than leaving the treats in reach and then flipping out when the hand is in the cookie jar.

Lori Toupal 1 year ago

I raised 1 biological child, 7 adopted kids and 14 fosters over the last 33 years. I have one 17 year old and two 19 year olds (both have special needs) still living at home now. I cannot tell you how many times over the years I felt like you. Motherhood is a thankless job and you usually get blamed for anything that goes wrong, even if you had absolutely no control over it. Just hang in there. They do eventually grow up and learn to appreciate their mom! (((Hugs)) to you.

Aj 1 year ago

Thank you. I am a mother of 3. my daughter is 10, and my two boys are 8 and 3. It often feels this way. My husband is gone a lot of the time, and I feel like I’m left on my own to handle everything. My 8 year old is the one constantly watching the shows I specificly tell him to not watch repeatedly. my daughter is the one who is constantly expressing her dismay over everything. Christmas, after all her presents are opened, the first words out of her mouth are “That’s all I got?”, and this is after we spent $1000 on each of them. Then i feel horrible when I lose it on her. Swearing I’m taking everything back, and send her to her room on Christmas day.

Chanelle 1 year ago

Thank you for writing this! I often feel like the “Debbie Downer” when I tell my friends without kids the “truth” about parenting. It’s hard. It’s tough. It’s a struggle most days…. ok, every day. Outsiders looking in always think it’s so easy. They judge. They don’t understand. But thank you for writing this, because this is REAL life and it happens in my household too!

-Chanelle ::

Jenn 1 year ago

My husband send me this link today with an apology for not being understanding. reading your words and knowing my husband read them and thought of our situation the day before brought tears to my eyes.

christine 1 year ago

I commend you on your honesty!! Most people want to act like they’re picture perfect parents who never make mistakes or struggle. I know I’m not the perfect mom to my 2 boys, and I apologize to them for my mistakes…but I also hold them accountable for theirs. Sure, they’re just kids but what kind of parents would we be if we didn’t at least try to make them see their own mistakes and appreciate anything that others do for them-out of obligation or just plain goodness of heart. At the end of the day, I still get lots of cuddles and I love you notes. They know I’ll do anything for them and always be on their side.

Melissa yurko 1 year ago

This is what I needed to read today and many other days. I so appreciate you even taking the time to write this. I almost thought this was me talking and you just where writing. Im so glad to know I dont have ti feel so guilty and just awful for saying and doing these exact things at times. Ugh… this is the hands toughest thing ever, parenting and you hit it in the head by saying all you and myself included want is some damn cooperation and respect. Even just sometimes. Loved this! Thank you!


Kiki 1 year ago

My husband and I were discussing the other day that it’s amazing how when we were kids, mom said do….you did it. That was it. My kids really try and negotiate and then if I tell them to do something they are responsible for like cleaning up behind themselves, brushing their teeth, putting dishes in the sink…..I have asked them to chop off their left arm and feed it to the birds. I mean really! It takes everything in my power not to pop dat ass! But I will…….IJS……

Kristi Morgan 1 year ago

YOU ARE SOOOOO NOT ALONE! I had only one child but I raised him on my own. EVERY mother at some point or another feels overworked, underpaid, unappreciated, disrespected…more so in the children’s growing years. My son is almost 21 years old…I am starting to see & feel that THE EMOTIONAL TORMENT I SUFFERED WAS WELL WORTH IT! Motherhood is a joy & a blessing…NOT ALL PEACHES & CREAM! And it can take decades to see why your suffering was worth it…

Victor 1 year ago

Love my kids and feel the same often. I wish the title had been titled “Parenthood.”

dee 1 year ago

The moms who”look perfect” or “act perfect” are so much farther from perfect than us “normal” moms. They are just able to hide it better that’s ask…lol

dee 1 year ago

You are so not alone! And just because you lost it, doesn’t mean you are a bad mom. It means you are a good mom who has reached the tipping point. We have all been there! Your story could be one of quite a few in my home. When your 17 year old looks at you as if you owe him the world, it can really make a mom crazy! And then the younger ones follow. It is enough to make you want to lock yourself in a room for 24 hours! Thanks for the read and keep your head up!

danielle 1 year ago

Truth. I had 2 kids by 20. I became a single mom at 21. I wasn’t the best at sticking to my guns and the daily stress got to me and I usually ended up yelling at my kids for something stupid. I can’t change the past, but I became a completely different mom when I gave birth to my 4th and final child at 30. Still a single mom, but I handle myself in a better manor. Hug and tell your kids you love them every single day. I had to bury my 18 year old last year. Appreciate every moment. Tomorrow is not guaranteed!

Kayleen 1 year ago

I like to call these my “Wal Mart Moments” and they usually occur between the front door and the car as we leave for school after an entire morning getting them ready and then, Blammo! The damn will burst in the driveway for all of the neighbors to see. Fun times.

Curtis 1 year ago

Mr Mom here~ not much different going on here. My wife and I were saying the same things last week. Chin up~ it can’t rain all the time!

Norah Johes 1 year ago

I am worried about you. Please can you get some help. Your husband sounds a bit controlling?

LS Babe 1 year ago

We are great moms even through our wacky days!!

LS Babe 1 year ago

And who there for mom!? No One!!!

WestchesterMom 1 year ago

Wow! Exactly how I’ve been feeling this entire summer! I want to please my child and think I’m making him happy only for him to turn around and act like it was boring or sucked. I’m going to change things around in my house new school year! New rules! For one hd will be spending more quiet time in his room when he hurts my or others feelings!

LS Babe 1 year ago

Your right and you are appreciated!! Sometimes i regret giving children to a man who just neglected his fatherly responsibility and walked away, but they are here now and i have to deal with it however i can and its a struggle on a daily basis..I commend you!

LS Babe 1 year ago

I feel this way all too often. I break down in private because i feel that no one understands,or the one you want to understand Will just receive it as a sign of weakness or complaining. Everything you said it’s very spot on and its a problem because there is no balance. Every mom needs to recharge, and I’m learning how to be a little selfish just enough to keep me happy…Happy mommy=Happy children!! Ladies we have to recharge by any means necessary!

Trish 1 year ago

Thank you for being so hone

Dannee 1 year ago

I have read your blog more than once and cried every single time. I too have had more moments of screaming and chasing and slamming doors than I should probably admit to. I love my kids dearly and feel absolutely awful after a screaming/ crying/ temper tantrum but there is only so much a person can take of “I can’t.” or my daughters (3 1/2/ yr old) new favorite phrase “I am too slow. I am running out of gas.” I woke up at 1 am this morning when my daughter came in my room and I have been up ever since crying feeling alone and discouraged. It is now 4:30 am and all I keep thinking about is how rough the day ahead will be because we are all going to be sleep deprived (late bedtime last night and early wake up time for all). I also babysit my nephews so at any given time this past summer I had 5 boys and one girl in my tiny little house and I am not sure my blood pressure ever came down out of the stratosphere. Being a mom is so incredibly hard. My husband has stayed home with the kids for a few days while I was on a much needed vacation and he has told me over and over again that he thinks my job is much harder than his and he does not envy me at all. I always tell him he needs to stop sucking up but then other times I feel like he truly means it. So even with all the stress and frustration and plain craziness do I feel the need to have another one? Anyone know where I can get fitted for a straight jacket?

Ana 1 year ago

Oh my god, I am not alone! Thank you, thank you for being brave enough to get this out here. I have one daughter and much as I love her, she has an unerring talent to push my buttons when they really need to be left untouched :)

Maria 1 year ago

I wish I could say this was true, but it is the exact opposite in our family. My husband is generally the more patient one. Although the tables are starting to turn now that our daughter’s becoming a teenager and he doesn’t understand why she spends so much time in the bathroom looking at herself in the mirror. I don’t believe as a mother I have been “given a job”. In other cultures, men and women share this more equally in the US. In Scandinavia, for example, where I live, it is very common for women and men to share in child-rearing and men take time off work when the kids are young to stay at home when women go back to work. As a result, you hear both men and women complaining about having days like this. I think it is a parenting issue, not a motherhood issue, but the way it is described in this article is something that most of us who have parented can recognize.

tml 1 year ago

Instagram? Don’t you need a smart phone for instagram? That’s a little young for a kid to have a smart phone.

Cortney 1 year ago

My kids drive me insane 95% of the time. My daughter is 3 and she has the biggest attitude. I think I’m getting payback for what I did to my mom growing up, except 10x worse. Sometimes I do blow up, then 2 secs later I feel horrible about it. Sometimes they drive me to my limit and I have to leave the room and I sit and bawl my eyes out. Then there’s the 5% of the time that my kids are the sweetest little angels. And they melt my heart. I just wish I could have that more of the time. Thanks for this post, and helping me realize I’m not the only parent in the world that gets that bad.

wonder mom 1 year ago

In February 2014 I finally lost it. Still unemployed, children home because of winter weather, the fact catching up to me that my father passed away, mother diagnosis with breast cancer, husband who didn’t feel he should be home to help or just take the kids for a little bit (without me), losing our house to live in an apartment. For him to say you are under a lot of stress why don’t you go stay with your mom to have a break just to come home 2 days later to him telling me he wants a divorce and he is taking the kids. Moms do have brake downs moms have to be wonder mom, make dinner clean keep everyone together for her to lose it all

Rhonda 1 year ago

Have I ever lost it? Certainly. Do I feel bad about it? Of course. Are there moments in my son’s life for which he will probably have to seek therapy later on because Mommy absolutely flipped her lid? Of course. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t have these moments. We love our children, but they are human also with minds and moods of their own. Mommies are not Saints. We are emotional humans who are in charge of other emotional humans. Thank you so much for being so open and honest. Trust me, you are NOT the only one.

Jamie Bourcy 1 year ago

Thank you, this is so raw and so real and the part that none us admit because we are embarrassed by our own actions, it is nice to know you are not alone, we have all been there and any mom who says they haven’t must simply be a robot

shari 1 year ago

Thank you for this. I thought I was the only one to feel like this and have those type of days. I really needed to see and read this.

yvet 1 year ago

Thank you for sharing your frustration! I often feel like I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life. Not just having kids but getting married also. There is never a thanks or show of appreciation for everything that’s done. They act like it’s just supposed to be but, by who? They don’t even acknowledge that. It’s so damn frustrating and I feel selfish for feeling that way. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and change things. I see moms that look perfect all the time, how do they do it? Please share! How will I ever get past this lack of appreciation? I’ve given up everything for them to get an occasional card, so not worth it! Feeling frustrated……..

AbeFroman 1 year ago

Hey, its not just you. Speaking as a dad who often stays home with the kids while my wife is at work, there are times you just want to scream at them. I’m not convinced that its always a bad thing either.

Liz 1 year ago

You are NOT alone…and your kids’ behavior isn’t either! You hit the mail right on the head with this blog…Motherhood in many ways is THE MOST unappreciated and rewarded job on the planet…yet in MANY ways it has the GREATEST perks and rewards on the planet! THAT very mixed concept IS what makes it a seemingly IMPOSSIBLE job, not everyone can do BUT most are proud and grateful for the opportunity! Thank you for your candor…it gives the rest of us proof that WE’RE not alone!

Lindy 1 year ago

As someone who was in Daycare business for 20 years, I can tell you that if you stick to what you said the first time, this would not happen again. Why would you leave the remote available and let her change it daily. The very first time she changed the channel, you should have unplugged the TV for a couple of days and that would be the last time it would have happened. Make a rule, stick to it, no if, and or but.

Trish 1 year ago

My son is 2. I have soooooooo been here. I hate when the words “what is wrong with you?!” come out of my mouth… Usually at top volume. It’s so exhausting, this business of trying to raise a decent human. 😛 I imagine it only gets worse when they are old enough to really argue! Sigh.

Jessie 1 year ago

Thank you for this. I read it about 5 times. I feel way less alone tonight because of this. Xo

Jorden 1 year ago

Excellent post. Though you dashed my hopes of our two boys listening more when they get older. As a stay-at-home dad I’m glad I’m not the only one out there that has lost it with the kids. Thanks for writing what is on many of our minds.

Marlene A 1 year ago

Wow, I think you said it better than I, certainly can relate to your comment. We moved closer to our son (3 hrs.) he seemed excited after 15 years we would be closer, have seen him 3 times in over a year. And a far as their memory, much different than actual events, like I wasn’t a part of anything they ever did. Just can’t dwell on these things or would drive myself nuts! We have our own life, but it’d be sure nice to know we have kids once it awhile!

DONM 1 year ago

Laura H – Such a great comment. I was feeling as you, when I read the post and all the comments supporting “losing your shit” with your kids. I was reminded of being on the other side – my mom losing her shit with me. And how horrifying, damaging, and chaotic it was.

Now I’m a mom. And I realized I had a bad role model for motherhood. I’ve lost my shit and felt AWFUL about it. I knew it was wrong. I knew it wasn’t helpful. And I definitely knew I DID NOT want to become like my own mother. But I didn’t know a better way.

So I sought help. I read numerous books – books about my own upbringing and healing myself, books about how to be a better parent, books about how to talk to your kids. and books about mindfulness. I got therapy to be healthier. And it worked. I refuse to scream at my kids. I will not hit them or threaten them. There are better ways. Using fear, unpredictable outbursts, violence or threats of it, and screaming DOES NOT WORK. I was screamed at, cursed at, hit/spanked, threatened… And I struggled with self confidence and trusting others. My mom actually said lots of the same things I see here – about all I did was take while she gave and how selfish/demanding I was, how much she sacrificed and how ungrateful I was. It all hurt. The pain and damage was so deep – it took years of therapy and lots of work to heal and repair it all.

If you find yourself losing it a lot, if you find yourself angry and resenting your children often, if you find yourself unhappy much of the time. Get help. It’s fine to have a bad day and we all aren’t perfect. But if you feel guilty, you probably could learn from the experience and work on being a mom who is happy more than sad/angry, who rarely “loses it,” who isn’t resentful most the time, who knows she’s doing her best for herself and her kids.

I’m not judging – just felt the need to share my experience, as a reformed mom who used to lose it because she was overwhelmed and didn’t know any better to a happier mom who has learned to be more patient, tolerant, calm, and loving (with herself and her kids).

Marlene A 1 year ago

Yes, I think it’s great you posted exactly how you felt and what you’re going through. I’m older but went through the same thing, my husband worked away a lot of the time, so the kids and all the house choirs, errands, etc. were left to me. It’s easy to go about everything one has to do but there are times it gets to you. My kids have grown to be wonderful adults but there are still times I would like to scream. Appreciation that is NOT shown for all I did, leaves a very empty feeling in my heart. I did not do it for accolades but just the rememberance that I was ( and still am) there for them would be nice.

Nicole 1 year ago

They would be more willing to work with you and not against you if they weren’t spoken to in an authoritarian way. If they were treated like people instead of less than adults who don’t know anything then they would make better choices. Would you speak to your husband like that about changing the channel? Why belittle your children then. Blessed day to you and your children

Angela 1 year ago

I think the next time you see a mother with a special needs child you should tip your hat to her. Because this little story of yours is NOTHING.

Betty 1 year ago

Ok, so you blew a gasket. No one was killed. The fact that you lost your temper shows your children that you are a person with feelings. You are not a robot. The children will always love you, despite your melt down and vice versa. I have 4 kids and know exactly how u feel. Think of it like this…you never locked them in a hot car, physically disciplined them, or put them on eBay. You are doing just fine.

Kris 1 year ago

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. I have two sets of twins (all are toddlers) and my husband is away a LOT (military). We are currently in two different countries for a over a year. I have been this mother too many times, because it is hard and will drive you insane. Thank you. Thank you for posting this. Now I know, I am not alone.

Tricia 1 year ago


mamadouce 1 year ago

I needed to read this this morning. ..Because I look around my house at the chaos and disorder and wish that my 6 and 8 year old could just exercise a LITTLE bit more responsibility. ..Like putting their dishes in the sink WITHOUT BEING ASKED 7 TIMES EVERY. SINGLE. MEAL. or picking up their toys without us having to grab a trash bag and threaten to throw them out. I do worry often that I am raising entitled little monsters who can’t see beyond themselves and see things from other people’s point of view. But I think it just takes time…and oodles of patience that none of us have, certainly not every day. It feels good to say fuck you to parenthood every once in a while!

Renee 1 year ago

You are Completely understood.
Motherhood isN’t all smiles and warm fuzzies, and we don’t need to pretend like it is either.
#Honesty – it’s good for Us, and often times it’s just what someone else going through the Same thing needs too!

shirley 1 year ago

I can totally relate! would take a bullet fur my family but have those mpments of no validation or appreciation period! but after a brief pity party and prayer im good fur another 24 hrs! ventings good!

Sarah 1 year ago

Thank you. It is so nice to not feel alone.

TwoYellowDogs.Terri 1 year ago

The frustration of motherhood, certainly can repeatedly be overwhelming. I raised two boys, only two. I don’t know how people have more than two kids. My husband left me with my kids were 2 and 3 yrs old. I raised them by myself for years. Eventually I met a wonderful man and we married… and he supported me emotionally while I raised my kids. I always worked… I maintained a stressful job. My kids grew up, moved out, got married and had kids of their own. Career wise I pushed to make more money (read work more and more hours), and sock money away for retirement. I retired. Now I have lots of time to look back on all that happened. The last many years of career stress (read I gave away the rest of myself to my job, not just to my kids like I had done years before). Today, I look in the mirror and I DO NOT RECOGNIZE the person in the mirror. Between motherhood and always trying to give to my kids (what I didn’t have and just the basics to grow up healthy), and then getting sucked into a career that really didn’t fill my personal needs, I basically lost myself.

Here’s some advice to mothers… (I certainly am not wise after my years of life, and my own children (now adults with children of their own) certainly don’t want to hear much less listen to any insights I’m, might try to share…) but here it is:

Take care of yourself. Between being a mother, a wife, and trying to achieve in career or job, don’t always put yourself last. You cut yourself short by putting kids, husbands, careers first; you will loose yourself and in turn resign yourself to being unhappy and not having your needs (and expectations) met. Even though as mothers, wives, we certainly don’t do things expecting for our actions to be appreciated, or what we do even be noticed… in the end, it feels pretty empty putting everything (but myself) first. I’m NOT saying, go get a massage or have a spa day. I sadly, over all those years, never never asked or told my family what I needed, what I wanted. I (must have) expected for everyone else to just know, to just see that me–the person I was–was slipping away, disappearing, eventually lost.

Now my family looks at me and can not understand why I don’t seem to be very happy. But they are happy that I (still) spend all my time in the kitchen cooking/cleaning for all the family gatherings… happy that I remember their birthdays and still try to make them feel special on those days.

I taught my family to not notice me. I taught my family to take me for granted. I did this to myself. I have no one else to look at in the mirror for my life but me.

Mothers, I can’t tell you how to navigate your happiness, but I can tell you to not teach your family to take you for granted… ask for what you want to make you happy. When those you love, just keep taking and taking and giving nothing to little in return, don’t be a martyr and keep doing it. Let go of your family just enough to keep your own sense of self. Let go of your own need to put your family first, and put yourself first.

Wendie 1 year ago

So true! We’ve all had those moments. Most days I love being a stay-at-home mom, but sometimes I’m like “Calgon, take me away!” Thank you so much for your honesty. It’s good to know I’m not alone.

Jennifer 1 year ago

I screamed “SHUTUP!” At the top of my lungs at my screaming 5 month old in the car yesterday. It was cathartic and horrifying all at the same time. I went back to work FT after awhile because, quite frankly, I do not find motherhood fulfilling. Going back to work was uplifting, fulfilling, enjoyable, exciting, and I don’t regret one minute of it. I am not cut out to be a FT mom and I am perfectly okay with that. I do my best to tell everyone that so people know that not all women are gushing joy and fulfillment over that little bundle that is completely rocking their world…and I have an easy baby! He almost couldn’t be easier. His screaming in the car yesterday was the first time EVER that has happened. Who can say that??? And I lost it. So, to all the mom’s out there who are willing to admit you scream and say shit you regret…I’m right there with you.

Connor 1 year ago

I’m a new mom. My little one is eight months old. Even with a little one like mine, where throughout the day he is learning something new and being cute, I still feel like this. My husband is a full time student and works everyday. I hate asking him for help because he does so much, and I feel even worse when I put him on daddy duty just so I can have a free hand. It’s been hard, and I know it gets harder. I’ve been feeling so worn down, but after reading this, I feel in a way that I can accept it all because it’s normal. Thank you for being brave and posting this. You’ve opened yourself to criticism, but it’s going to be from mother’s who lie about how easy their lives are. You’re helping mother’s kik me to not feel alone.

Deb 1 year ago

THANK YOU for this. I am a half-time stepmom to 2 kids, and am coming into their worlds (and they into mine) at 9 and 11… and it’s friggin’ hard sometimes. SO nice to hear that people sometimes don’t like their OWN kids. :) Most of the time, they’re pretty great little kids. But sometimes…
So thank you.

Lisa 1 year ago

I feel the same way on a daily basis! And all of my friends who are “perfect” moms don’t understand why I struggle so much with motherhood. I LOVE my children, but it is HARD work every day. Thank you for sharing, I don’t feel so alone anymore.

Marc Kaye 1 year ago

Well put – but, and I don’t mean this any self-righteous way, it’s not always the mommy’s doing the main caregiving. It is usually me left to clean up the kids’ messes, deal with their moods and handle these things – there are some of us dads who have to deal with this more than the moms.

Joi 1 year ago

Oh yea! I get a big old fuck you everyday from my 8 year old. She knows it all!

lachelle hurt 1 year ago

Thank you, thank you, thank you! You writing this helps me to understand that my actions, though sometimes a bit extravagant, are ok. I have two boys, 18 months apart, and there are days I literally growl at them. Yes, growl like a dog. But, after I do, the look in their little eyes, like they are terrified, makes me feel horrible. I have to remember that it’s ok to feel overwhelmed. I just need to control MY temper tantrum. Maybe wait til I can scream in a pillow. Or, go outside and do some crazy karate kick flailing thing. So, again, thank you for sharing with us. I’ll remember you next time my child kicks the dog food bowl across the floor for the 47483767th time. :)

Jen 1 year ago

This is 100% my life. I didn’t even know what to say after I read it. You are not alone! This is is practically my life to a T.

Paula Parmelee 1 year ago

Thanks for your post. I understand as I have raised 6 children. There are many moments I wish I could take back and undo. I do agree with Leigh Anne’s
comments about instilling faith and morals into our children. One important way to do this is to model the behavior you want them to exhibit to you. My suggestion is to remove the causes of the stress. Much like Leigh Anne who took her children for a walk after school. Do something different than the status quo. Turn off the T.V. In the mornings and any other time it starts causing friction. When you start feeling yourself ready to blow or loose it, take a break from that and change your behavior, count to 10 before you reply to obnoxiousness or rudeness from your children. Have your children write sentences addressing their misconduct. Let them know with calmness your expectations for behavior and when they don’t meet that expectation follow through with a consequence and each and every time they break the rule they get the consequence and then add on additional consequences until they know you mean it and you are in control and are not going to lose it again, because you are the mom and what you say is the final word. Then get your husband on board ( actually first thing is to discuss all of this with him) and hold a family meeting. Gather everyone together when you can talk about what needs to be done to make the family operate more smoothly. Have an agenda of what you need to discuss and give each family member a chance to speak about what they need from other family members. Do this on a regular, set aside a specific time and day, basis. As a result you can plan family time when every member can inform others of upcoming events, i.e. School functions, requests for visits with friends and you will become a better functioning family and accountable to each other and also children need that sense of belonging and consistency in their lives. I really hope this helps. Let me know what you think.

Katie 1 year ago

Thank you! With a 13 yr old, and twin 11 yr old’s (all girls). This made me laugh because I feel like this EVERY day. I am also glad I am not alone.

MommyEnnui 1 year ago

Thank you! I feel like I could have written every single word of this. I also brave the Happy Mommy Mafia on my blog MommyEnnui. It never ceases to amaze me what a radical act it seems to be to speak truthfully about the sucky parts of motherhood! You are doing important work. 😉

Tammy Jorgensen 1 year ago

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I feel so alone and horrible and mean when I do things like this. and everyone else acts like they Never Yell…. thank you for making me feel less alone

Mary Eisen 1 year ago

Take the door off – you lock me out, you get no door for a week! My friend did that and it stopped the slamming and the locking of her daughter’s door.

Liz 1 year ago

I lost a baby in December. During my grief, which is still ongoing, I have zero patience for my almost 13 yr old, for all the things you listed above. I thought I had just turned mean or stopped liking her, (we used to be so close!)

It really does suck sometimes but I wouldn’t change having my older daughter and would give anything to have my daughter in heaven.

Janette Brown 1 year ago

I have 8 kids. Yup, I am crazy. I am down to the last 2 at home. When my #2 child was 19, she was out with her friends and it was very early in the morning. I called her and asked her if she was ok. I also said I wanted to see her coming home as I was going to work. She drove past me as I was driving into work. We flashed our lights at eachother. Later she told me that , out of the 6 friends she was with, I was the ONLY mom who called. Her friends did not make fun of her, they said they wished THEIR moms cared enough to check on them like her mom did. Those words changed her attitude about my call. Another child of mine told me that it was hard growing up with a big family and the hardships they went thru, but she was thankful. Thankful because she felt well prepared to take care of herself, unlike some of her friends who didnt know how to do anything. To all you young moms, hang in there. The payoff at the end is huge. Here are my MOM STATS ( yes, I am bragging) #1 daughter, graduated from Harvard ( full scholarship), #2 daughter became an RN, #3 daughter Business degree, #4 daughter asst manager of food co-op, #1 son, US Army, 2 tours in Afghanistan and now works for Sikorsky building helicopters, #2 son, auto mechanic, #3 son wants to be a police officer after his church mission, and #4 son is a photographer and still in high school. 3 years left, and I will have finished my job of raising my family. No one got arrested, no drugs, no alcohol. I have done well. We had our fights and tears along the way, but I would not have missed any of it for any amount of money. A dear friend asked me once “How did you do it?” I told her that my faith got me thru it. It is a hard job, but the payoff is the best!! I did the best I could.

Kiera 1 year ago

I just cried reading this. Motherhood *is* amazing, but it’s also incredibly hard. A lot of the time I feel so angry and frustrated because, hey kids, when do I get my turn? And they just won’t/don’t/can’t cooperate without making me feel like a flaming axe murderer for asking….

Thanks for your honesty and bravery. You go, girl!

Robin 1 year ago

OMG! I thought you had been in my house listening to my rants this past month with my family. I think that very statement came out of my mouth like 100 x recently. It’s difficult when you can’t get anyone to assist and you spouse seems to side with the kids. I ask them to clean the kitchen after dinner, he says oh it will wait! REALLY?!?!?! I hate being the hard-ass and it pisses me off that he takes the good side. Therefore he is always the hero and I am the wicked witch. I want to be fun sometimes, but by the time you get off work, go to the grocery store and then home to cook dinner, wash dishes, file out school paperwork, showers and get laundry done what’s left? NOTHING! I’, latterly exhausted. Oh lets not forget romance time~ Seriously……? There is not enough of me to go around. I do lose it too and I think all good moms do. Motherhood is rewarding, challenging, exhausting and at times it sucks! I think it is the only job that every emotion can be experiences in less that a minute flat all at one time. I have two boys of my own and then I have 3 step-children. I do not refer to them as step children because I help raise them. BIRTH does not make you a parent! I love each of my children and would die for them…. Hats off to all the REAL moms out there doing it everyday! One last final note…. remember to put down the cell phones, computers, ipods and whatever other electronic you have and take the kids outside for 10 minutes to enjoy the time with them. We are loosing precious time with our kids and watching them grow up through our phones. WE CAN’T GET THAT TIME BACK! It’s gone before we know it~ Enjoy MOMS!

Nikki 1 year ago

After reading this I thought for sure you climbed around and my head and put all of my thought in your blog! You are most definitely not alone! I have three kids 8,4 and two. My husband is a fire fighter in the military so he is gone a lot of the time as well. What makes me crazier than the kids lack of appreciation is his lack of compassion! When I lose my shit when he’s home he looks at me like I’m nuts and tells me to calm down, not to speak that way and they’re just kids. Ahhhhh!!!! Motherhood, as rewarding as it is and of course we would never trade it for anything in the world, it is still damn hard!

Victoria Sivak 1 year ago

In the article you stated you didn’t want to feel alone. You are not alone. We’ve all done this….more than once. I’m happy to know that I’m not the only one either. I wish at times I could hold it together better too but there’s only so many times you can tell a 12 and 9 year old to pick up their things, brush their teeth, set the table etc. I think sometimes if I am a computer that spews out information because kids in this day and age don’t know how to do things on their own without being told by a video screen. Thanks for the blog. :)

Dorota 1 year ago

Sounds very familiar :(. The entitlement, being taken for granted, and dismissed when we do lose it with a “Mommy is feeling cranky…”

Sarah 1 year ago

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you to all the stay at home moms out there! You are greatly appreciated! I am recently disabled and no longer able to work at my chosen profession. I have a 6 yr old daughter and a 24 yr old son. Yes, I know, I chose to split them up a little. LOL. They are 18yrs 5 days apart. My son always said he wanted a sibling, just not when he had moved out of the house. Oops! My 6 yr old has started 1st grade recently and has become a different person this last summer. She gained her own opinion! What she wears, what she eats, what she does and when she does it have ALL become points of great contention. The other morning we were getting dressed for church. Nothing fancy, just clean and not shorts and a t-shirt. I gave her 4 outfits and was letting her choose which one. We had a limited time to get ready. 20 minutes later she still hadn’t picked one, so I made the choice for her. All were choices that she had made at the store, assuring me she would wear them for school. Within minutes, I was yelling, she was sobbing and the whole thing had turned into a great big mess! Where did my sweet, innocent little girl go?? In her place is a moody, argumentative, complaining 6 yr old who I don’t like a lot of times. I want my other child back. I don’t ever remember going through this with her brother, although we had our own share of yelling, door-slamming, cussing, “I HATE YOU” fits. At one point I took all the furniture out of his room and took the door of its’ hinges and he slept with a pillow and blanket on the floor for a month till he earned his mattress back! But girls are definetly different. God bless all moms out there who make it through everyday without killing the kids, who still hug them after school, and keep doing again day after day and keep on smiling. We do eventually win the war. :).

Jennifer 1 year ago

Amen sister, amen

Joy 1 year ago

If someone criticizes you, they need to go ahead and bite me. I only have two, and I’m trying to hold it together until naptime most days.

I remember the first time my husband was parenting alone when we only had one kid. I came home after being gone all day, and he looked like he’d been hit by a truck. He was burnt out, exhausted, on the verge of losing his shit, and he said, “I don’t know how you do this every day. This is so hard!” I just hugged him.

Tannie 1 year ago