The Cry of the Early Rising Parent



It’s 7:23 AM and I’ve already been up for one hour and eight minutes.

On a flipping Saturday.

Pre 7AM starts are strictly not allowed in our house, yet they still seem to be happening, despite the fact that no one in their right mind would ever want to encounter me when there is still a six on the clock.

So here I am. One hour and 10 minutes into the day. Wishing it was over already so I could go back to bed.

But, it’s not. So here’s what I’ll be doing instead:

1. Crying. It’s ok to mourn the lie-in I will never have again.

2. Calculate the kids’ value on eBay, not mentioning the ‘early risers’ part.

3. Cursing all the neighbors whose houses are still in complete darkness.

4. Regretting having watched ‘just one more’ episode of Breaking Bad the night before.

5. Checking Facebook and Twitter and connecting with other insomniac parents.

6. Drawing up rules, reward charts and incentive schemes to keep kids in bed until 7:00 AM (these will be abandoned by next weekend when they will fail miserably and I’ll start the whole, sorry process again).

7. Eating breakfast. Even though this means I’ll be serving lunch at 10:30 AM.

8. Drafting an email to Fisher Price telling them their toddler clock is crap. That my child worked out how to ‘bring the sun up’ on day two. The sun now appears randomly at 4:00 AM, 5:00 AM and 6:00 AM.

9. Imagining all the things I could achieve … If I weren’t so damn tired.

10. Nodding off. And repeating. For the rest of the day.

See you tomorrow at 6:00 AM, folks!


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  1. Laurie says

    My daughter, who has always been an amazing sleeper (like 12 hours non-stop), has suddenly started waking up at 6am instead of her usual 8am. I’m reading this at 8:15 and I’ve already cooked breakfast, colored pictures, prevented an outdoor escape, put her in the corner for time out, and read several books. I fear that nap time is soon to go the way of the dodo.

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  2. Miindy says

    I’m so tired my daughter decided to stay awake ALL NIGHT taking her clothes and diaper off because she thought it was hilarious. Now she’s so overtired and off schedule she’s shrieking for no apparent reason. God just give me a couple hours of sleep.

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    • Jenny says

      cut the feet off of a pair of footed pajamas, put them on her backwards (zipper on the back!). Problem solved. They make footed pajamas with the zipper on the back, but they are way expensive. Solved my problem and it was recommend to me by my pediatrician, who has 4 kids.

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    • Lynee says

      With a little bit of skill you don’t even have to cut the feet off. It was the only way we kept our kiddo in jammies for a good 5 months. Kids have the worst sense of humor.

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  3. Someone20001 says

    My mornings start around 7:30……..SUCKS!!!! I just want to sleep. It doesn’t help that I have to work late, either! Thank goodness for coffee.

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  4. Dy says

    My son has decided that 4am is his wakeup time. He’s six months old and even in the womb, that was the time he got up. I’ve tried everything…pushing breakfast until later (which results in a splitting headache for me and hiccups for him), snuggling down into my bed (rest for him, a pinched muscle for me), getting up (being incessantly tired throughout the day and, as I’m unable to nap when the sun’s up, being entirely too jealous when the baby’s first nap is at 7am), and ignoring him (grumpy husband, grumpy child, grumpy mom).

    I feel for you!

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  5. Kyrie says

    As my empty-nester self rolled out of bed this morning at 6:30am, I thought about how my 20 yr old was still asleep in the next room. I remembered all of the times that I tried to sneak around the house if I awoke a little early to enjoy some peace and quiet. I also realized that next Sunday is the time change and was thankful that I wouldn’t be awoken against my will by small humans again:) 4-legged children don’t count.

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