The Curse of the Light Sleeping Mother


My mission last night was to go to bed early. Simple enough, yes?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

8:28 Lie down in Evan’s bed. Read him stories and stay until he’s almost asleep. Debate just falling asleep with him.

8:49 Decide against falling asleep with him and get up to put Ben to bed.

9:01 Convince Ben to sleep in his own room. The two of us aren’t actually supposed to be roommates, Benjamin. Lie down with him. Ben wants to talk. Ben wants to read. Ben wants to play. Ben wants to make shadow puppets. Debate just falling asleep with him.

9:38 Ben finally asleep.

9:40 Tuck Lily in.

10:21 My bed. Hallelujah.

10:24 Jeff to bed.

10:41 Jeff snoring.

10:46 Evan coughing.

10:48 Jeff snoring LOUDLY. Jeff denies snoring. Jeff can’t hear snoring because Jeff can sleep through anything.

10:52 Jeff yelling because he was kicked in the shin during my attempt to stop his snoring.

10:54 Relocate to Evan’s bed. No snoring, no coughing.

11:00 Lily coughing.

11:07 Jeff snoring from across the hall. It’s that loud.

11:14 Evan sneezing.

11:30 Move to guest bed. Quiet. Finally.

11:48 Dog barking. Car alarm. Wind.

11:15 Couch. Computer. Facebook. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

1:31 Evan coughing. Evan whining. Move to his room.

1:32 Toilet flushing.

1:37 Ben calling for me. Ben to Evan’s room. Ben on top of me due to lack of space in twin bed.

1:42 My bed. Jeff still snoring. Jeff huffing and puffing after being punched in the arm.

1:43 Move to Ben’s empty bed. Note the faint smell of pee.

3:08 Evan cries. Finds me in Ben’s room. Lies on my face.

4:12 Penelope pacing. House settling. Evan playing with my hair.

5:50 Jeff’s alarm.

5:55 Jeff’s alarm.

6:00 Jeff’s alarm.

6:05 Jeff’s alarm.

6:10 Jeff’s alarm.

6:14 Evan wants breakfast.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

And I wonder why I’m always tired.


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  1. 7

    By Word of Mouth says

    My husband travels a lot, I get more sleep when he is gone – his breathing can even annoy me when he’s here. I try telling him that he should feel good about that – it means no one else is sleeping there when he is not.
    Also, I like to sleep naked when he is not there, if I sleep naked when he is home, he sees that as an invite – then I don’t get any sleep … please never share this information, he believes I have to sleep in pajama’s (else I can’t sleep)
    Hope you get a nap (ha ha) xxx

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    • 8

      Crystal says

      For the longest time, my husband would sleep on the couch because he said our bed was uncomfortable. I got used to sleeping by myself. Now we have a new bed so he sleeps in it with me. And oh my god his breathing annoys me so bad! So glad I’m not the only one this happens to :)

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  2. 11

    Varda (SquashedMom) says

    Wow, you have just described life in my house to a T. I feel for you, sister.

    Although I can sleep through snoring, having grown up with a pair of heavy snoring parents, I am inured to that. But my Ethan is just like your Ben – can’t fall asleep on his own, gets all playful and chatty at 9 pm at night, often can’t get to sleep until 9:30… 10… 10:30… Sigh. And then my other one takes the early bus and has to be up at 5:45.

    And my only time to blog, really? 2 AM.

    Sleep? What is this sleep thing of which people speak?

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  3. 12

    Jessica says

    Absolutely miserable! I must admit, I have had permanent bags under my eyes since pregnancy insomnia which was over 3 years ago! I thought it would change when my hormones were back to normal…nope! Still not enough sleep!

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  4. 13

    sandyj says

    Someone else in the family snores but denies it. So I taped him snoring with the Dragon app. Then I emailed it to him. Then he could not erase it so it kept coming up on his Blackberry, spontaneously.
    How about your own room [soundproof] , with a lock?

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  5. 14

    Lynn MacDonald says

    Wow….I NEVER ever slept in a kids bed…occasionally one slept in mine. I feel bad for you…I DO wake my husband up if he’s snoring and yell at him. I have a guest room if you’re interested…does NOT come with kids attached. Just saying…

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  6. 15

    Life with Kaishon says

    Oh my goodness. That is the WORST Jill. Serious craziness. Just glad you could catch some of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills in the midst of all of that! I mean, if anything can make your life seem better it is watching those girls in their zillion dollar houses with their botox out the wazoo!

    Wishing you the most wonderful winter break with your snorer, your cougher, your roomate and your princess : )

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  7. 16

    Raquel says

    Ha Ha This is so true. I love how you went from kids and car alarms to random ish like the Housewives of Beverly Hills. And I also can relate to Jeff’s alarm,, Jeff’s alarm, Jeff’s alarm. Why is it that men cannot hear their own alarm clocks?

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  8. 25

    Jennifer says

    Yes, all of that. I’m not sure how I manage to get through life on a daily basis with the small amount of sleep I get. And you need to invest in some kind of white noise machine for every bedroom in your house. It really does help.

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  9. 26

    How Does She Do It Mom says

    I got to 11:15 and was already feeling tired for you!! My daughter woke up 6 times last night with “bad dreams, I want water, I can’t remember how to sleep and coughing” and I thought that was bad….

    You need to invoke Scary Mommy nap time! :)

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  10. 27

    Anna says

    Went to bed around 11, had to get up at 3am with 10 year old to see the Lunar Eclipes. Here’s the part that pissed me off, we couldn’t see the damn moon because it was too cloudy also, it was very windy and cold. This was a school project. When I finally got back to sleep the alarm when off at 5am.

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