Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
@scarymommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
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- Met My Match At Disney… - May 13, 2013
- Sunday’s Baltimore Sun - May 11, 2013
I waited in line at Target yesterday behind a woman buying a Santa costume, reindeer footprints, fake snow and a cookie plate to feed the fictitious character. “My nine year old still believes,” she giddily told the cashier. Having an almost nine year old myself, I was pretty incredulous that any kid that age still bought the whole Santa thing, but if she wanted to put forth all that effort, more power to her. I’ve never been so glad to be Jewish.
I mean, there’s no way I’d be up for all of the work that you Christmas celebrating parents have to put forth. You must successfully convince your children that an overweight man, carted by twelve reindeer in the sky, delivered their presents via the chimney while they were sleeping. I have friends who leave faux evidence of reindeer poop or have family come dressed as Santa so they have photographic proof of the visit. Personally, I want some credit for the gifts, since I’m the one who shopped for them, bought them and wrapped them. But, bravo to you folks who go the whole nine yards.
You know who else deserves a bravo? The children belonging to those of us who don’t celebrate Christmas. It turns out, they are the true heroes of the season. Imagine the pressure those kids face of being in on the act and not being able to tell their friends that the whole thing is a hoax. We train our kids to tell the truth, but they have to bite their tongues while their friends get their pictures taken at the mall and find elves invading their homes and track Santa’s whereabouts online. The whole damn advent calendar is like a ticking time bomb, just waiting to see if our kid is going to be the asshole who ruins Christmas for the ones who still believe.
So, while you’re decorating your gingerbread houses or baking your Santa cookies or making your world famous fudge, think of that nice Jewish kid in you child’s class and make an extra batch for him. He’s been working his ass off for you and never gets any credit. Or, he’s the one you’re cursing for blowing the whole thing. In that case, cut him a little slack. He really did try.
{ 126 comments… read them below or add one }
So true! I’ve never thought of it like that…having kids too old to believe is fun too–they know who to suck up to for real now.
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I’m do there with you… Except i have to do the Santa nonsense with my inlaws….
I have 2 teens and my youngest will be 3 on Monday… I had to tell the teens ‘If you don’t believe in Santa, he won’t bring you presents.’
Essentially that if they blow it for their baby sister they get NADA! LOL
I am in that same situation, I have a 2 year old and older children, ages 9, 12, 14, and 15. The 12 and 14 year olds are my step sons. Their mother chose to tell them at a very young age that their is no Santa. However, she didn’t remember to mention that they needed to keep that information to themselves! When I met my husband, my children were 8 and 3. My 8 year old still believed and obviously so did my 3 year old. My now step sons ruined it for my oldest that year, by telling her. After I found out, I was so mad! They were told not to tell my youngest. And only a couple years later, they ruined it for him, too. I was furious with them, but also with their mother! They are not Jewish, their mother just decided to tell them the difference. Now we have a 2 year old. And the older ones have all been warned. It might seem “stupid” to the Jewish people and the people that just don’t want to have their children believe in Santa. But to me, there is a magic of Christmas and Santa, for the little ones. I love the smiles on their faces and how excited they get when Santa is coming. Once they stop believing, they start being greedy.
Not all children that don’t believe in Santa are greedy, I know a lot of “santa” children that are little spoiled brats…
While that’s true, I have also found that once they stop believing and realize that your the one buying the gifts, they get greedy and when they don’t get everything they wanted, they are more likely to complain about it to you.
We Jews don’t think it’s stupid. Though I will say that it’s a missed opportunity for kids to learn gratitude and giving. Xmas is not about what Santa brought them…so perhaps the innocent deception is what precipitates the bratty behavior that accompanies the truth.
Nope kids can be bratty before they know the truth. My 4 year old is an example of this. He was whining in a store about all the things he wanted Santa to bring him just yesterday. Yep, that was a fun parenting moment. I told him Santa didn’t like greed and greedy children get nothing. A woman over hearing me was not impressed with my comment.
Good for you!! Greed is a disease. Lets nip that in the bud early
Scary Mommy, I love this. I love it times a zillion.
I had to break it to my four year old today that we don’t get to have Christmas. She is so amped up about it from day care and all her friends and she buys into it completely. I explained to her that Santa doesn’t come to Jewish people’s houses but she is SO LUCKY because she gets Channukah. Which is so much fun. I mean who doesn’t want to light a candle once a day for 8 days and do all that other cool Channukah stuff? Oh…yeah…there isn’t any other cool Channukah stuff…
;p
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Remember the Holiday Armadillo from Friends? We have that! An Armadillo! So cool!
(Yeah… we got nothing.)
Do not complain, we, the parents of Muslim children get absolutely nothing to substitute Christmas. At least Jews have something.
And it gets even more complicated since my parents celebrate Christmas from a agnostic point of view but my husband and his crew do not celebrate it at all.
What about Eid Al-Fitr ? & Eid Al-Adha? Yes not Christmas but still a celebration and family and friends sharing time and food…
Forgive me i tried to edit to ad As salamu alaykum.
I’ve always wondered… For parents who don’t do Santa, what do you threaten your kids with the entire last half of the year?!?! Santa is my parenting wing man, baby. He can get the credit for the gifts because he keeps those lil effers in line!!! At least till Dec 26 :)
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I threaten with taking away a night of Hanukkah, of course, like any good Jewish mother. But that would come in handy to blame it on someone else. I’m jealous.
Well then I suppose I should go back in time and thank all of my Jewish friends’ moms…taking away a night of Hanukkah would have been a big motivator to stay mum! ;)
Santa doesn’t come to our house. Frankly, I’m a bit of a Grinch about it. Like you mentioned in the post, I’m not giving that gift-picking-out stress to some strange guy who comes down my chimney, eats my food, and leaves. Stranger-danger anyone?
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I freaking love this. I didn’t teach my 5 year old to believe in Santa; the rest of the world did. We also refuse to let Santa take the credit. He does the stockings in our house. When my husband spends hours putting toys together on Christmas Eve, you can be damn sure he wants to be the one getting the credit.
My best friend growing up was Jewish and now that you put it like that, I have to wonder if she ever wanted to tell me?! Maybe she was a better best friend than I ever even knew.
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She totally deserves some cookies.
I am not sure whether to laugh or say “hmmm….so cynical.” I grew up a Christian within a Jewish community and not once did I have a friend who “ruined” my holiday experience. And I jumped into the Jewish traditions as well (Chanukah was fun!). Perhaps I am not so worried about any of my nice Jewish friends blowing Christmas for my girls, ages 5, 7, & 11 (all still Santa smitten!) because that is the smaller part of our holiday celebration. After all, Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Christ – a religious holiday not a secular one, though the world does try! So don’t worry…many out here who do celebrate Christmas, both the secular and religious, have never once blamed any of their Jewish friends for ruining a holiday. Besides sometimes the pretending is half the fun. Like the boy in Polar Express, even I still believe! Blessings!
I LOVE this comment!!!! After reading this post I was bugged and thought, “Geez bah humbug!” but then i read your comment and was relieved to see i’m not the only one that still likes the fantasy that goes with childhood.
Totally agree! I was not particularly impressed with the original post. I grew up in a town that was
49/49/2 Catholic/Jewish/Protestant. The Jewish kids never said anything or complained about missing out on Christmas. In fact, they use to brag about how they received a gift every night of the 8 days of Hunakah. Lol. And they always seemed to get lots of $, too!
I still have lots of Jewish friends and love them all!
I totally agree. I actually thought the original post was pretty ridiculous. What I teach my child is that it is better to give than to recieve, and that you do not need to get credit for the giving that you do. Aside from marking gifts from santa I also anonymously sponsor an underprivleged family in my town each year. Like Heidi said, Santa is a smaller part of our celebrations. If you can look at Christmas and think it as all about giving a fat man credit for gifts you bought, then you really have no clue what it is really about.
LOL this post was hilarious. I have often wondered about this. I had lots of Jewish friends growing up and none of them spilled the beans. As a parent of two young kids, Santa is everywhere. When I think of all of the kids who don’t celebrate Christmas they do deserve some credit. Especially the parents, who help perpetuate the lie for the benefit of other people. Keeping your true feeling to yourself, telling lies and keeping secrets. Isn’t that what Christmas is all about? ;)
LOL.
My kids father just walked out on them a week ago so it’s been rough for them. My daughter just turned 3 and my son will be 2 in January. They are trying to smile as much as possible but it’s hard knowing daddy is not coming home anymore. Their faces do light up when I turn on reindeercam.com at 6 and let them see Santa. It’s something for my kids to look forward to. And while I am stressed and losing it this holiday season I know my kids have something to look forward to, Santa. So yea, I am going the whole nine yards and I don’t care what anyone says. I am glad my kids have something to look forward to because the holidays are going to be rough without their father around.
And I don’t think it has anything to do with “stranger danger.” They know not to speak with strangers and do very well at that. I don’t make this a “be good or Santa won’t come.” I hate that stupid elf on the shelf. I don’t need some elf to “watch my kids” while they are around the house in case they do something bad. But you can bet your butt on Christmas Eve the kids and I will be reading Twas the Night Before Christmas. Baking cookies for Santa and leaving out carrots for those reindeer. They deserve to have something special to look forward to.
Oh and yes, my kids understand that Christmas is about Jesus being born. They are learning about advent season and we are telling them the story about Mary and Joseph. So they do know “the reason for the season.”
BUT if some 12 year old twit decides to come up to my 3yr old and tell her Santa isn’t real, me and that kids mom will be having words. My kids have joy this holiday season in a time when right now all they can do is ask me when daddy is coming home.
Very well said!!!! You hang in there:) you sound like an awesome mommy!!!
I grew up without Santa, but my husband believed. It may have been the only thing his parents did with any passion, so it was very important to him to carry on the tradition. I, however, very much want to teach the art of gift giving. Soooo, we do a modified Santa. They ask Santa for one thing, nothing big; my 4 year old always asks for a Barbie. All the other presents are from Mom and Dad, and the kids actively help us shop for everyone.
Oh man. You have some strong kids!
When I was in 3rd grade, a Christmas celebrating friend of mine told me, “don’t tell my sister that there’s no Santa.” I was like, “ummmmm ok. I won’t.” and went home crying – SPOILER! Lol.
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My son is 2 and we celebrate christmas. But I want him to understand the real reason for christmas. This is the first year he understands santa, and we have an elf on the shelf (which only gets moved if we remember it lol). But we will also be explaining that we celebrate christmas to celebrate the birth of jesus, and that while its like a birthday party….its not our birthday party. For us there is no harm in teaching kids about Santa because its teaching our kids that giving is important no matter how old you are. If someone spoils santa for marty, ill be sad, but also relieved…I’m a horrible liar, and the santa lie is a lot of work!
My kids know that the real reason for Christmas is the birth of Jesus, but they also look forward to Santa. I look forward to it too…there is nothing like the magic of a child who still believes. My son is 8, and I’m hoping we get through this year without one of his friends giving him the next level of information about Santa. I know I can trust him not to ruin it for his 4 year old sister.
Hilarious. I’ve always imagined the kids who celebrate Christmas wondering why the Jewish kids don’t get a visit from Santa. Were our kids not up to snuff, this year (or ever)? I’ve had an a yearly post (like a Christmas Story) “Can a Jewish Girl Sit on Santa’s Lap Without Being a Ho Ho Ho?” that attacks this issue from the other side, though I may prefer your angle… at least my kids get cookies out of it!
Always a riot! XO- Jenny
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I have always told my son that Santa doesn’t visit EVERY child in the world, that there are many countries that Santa doesn’t visit because people there don’t believe. There are lots of people here in the United States that don’t believe either, and I have told him that there are many religions that also do not celebrate Christmas nor believe in Santa. So he already knows that there are many kids and grown-ups who don’t believe in Santa. I already told him other kids probably will tell him that there is no such thing as Santa, and that they say that probably because he doesn’t come to their house because they don’t believe… So for them there is no such thing as Santa. I doubt if another kid told him there was no such thing as Santa that he would believe them.
When I was a kid, my dad hosted Christmas parties. I always knew Santa as my dad’s er, weight-challenged friend who’d heave himself into the red suit, and sweat all night while he cheerily handed out presents.
Sometimes it’s awesome to already know the truth. No asshole could have ruined it for me.
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I was always a fan of the kids who got to celebrate both. They seemed to get double the gifts and the fun. I’m not quite sure how the parents explained it all to them. And, I don’t remember ever having the Jewish kids spill the beans. Oh what a tangled web we weave.
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My cousin ruined it for me. Can’t count on anyone like family. ;-)
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See, now we do “Santa” a little differently around here. The bikes the kids got two years ago? Yeah, Mom and Dad took credit for them. Santa? He stuffs stockings and gets them a little stuffed animal or what not. I guess it comes from my parents telling us that Santa only brought big gifts to kids whose families couldn’t afford the big stuff. Of course that was over 20 years ago and kids are different these days.
I also don’t understand why Santa has to be a Christian thing. He’s not in the bible anywhere…
We aren’t Christian or any of the “main stream” religions, yet we still entertain the jolly guy around here. A touch of whimsy and magic for the little ones is important to us, especially when one considers just how fast kids are growing up these days. Kudos to the kids that can keep their mouths shut.
Seriously! I cringe all month long. Loved this!
Growing up we were never taught Santa was real, so I never felt the need to tell my kids that. I’ve told them that Santa is part of the fun of Christmas but that he is like Disney characters – alive in their imaginations and the videos they watch but not in real life. This year we have a train going around the tree with Santa sitting on it and all 3 of them are enthralled by it.
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Excellent way to explain Santa! We aren’t going to do Santa (DS is 19 mos old) but I had no idea how to explain it to him. I’m totally going to steal this, haha. Thank you!
I told my kids almost the same thing! I explained that Santa is a really, really nice pretend, sort of like Disney characters. (Of course, that doesn’t work for everyone. Don’t even get me started on how pissed my husband’s family was when I told my kids that there was a person inside that Mickey Mouse costume!) But we also discussed the fact that just like they used to think Belle was real, some kids think Santa is real and we’re not going to spoil the fun for them.
This sounds awful but I never thought about the Jewish kids!! I live in Texas and I have to be honest, I don’t know any “real life” Jewish people. The ones who spoil it here are the older kids who have stopped believing.
My 10 year old niece was at my house this Summer and she spilled it to my 7 year old daughter that your parents were actually “Santa”. I wanted to throw her out the door….seriously!! I have worked HARD to keep up the charade and how dare she ruin it for me, lol!!! Somehow I managed to convince my daughter that she was lying and Santa would be VERY mad at her for saying that. We are still happy Santa believers in our house:-)
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My niece and nephew ruined Santa for my daughter when she was 4, she was sad for about a minute and a half, I’d planned to tell her the next year anyway. Now she’s almost 16 and all she really cares about is the stocking, I’ve never really understood that, it might be because her birthday is in January and that’s when she gets the really “good” present?
At least I can count on her not to ruin Santa for other little kids.
It could be worse…you could be the child of fundamentalist/religious parents who did not go along with the Santa thing at all and get to be the five year old asshole going around the kindergarten playground firmly insisting to everyone that there is no Santa and that Christmas is ONLY about Jesus. You make lots of friends that way. :-(
Which is why I still play along the Santa thing with not only my 9yo but my 11yo as well. I think they know better, but they also KNOW better than to stop faking it. ;-)
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OK, you’re right. That’s worse. :)
I was SOOOOO that kid. I was raised Hindu and though my parents got me a few presents for Christmas when I was really young, after a while, they would just make me pick it out and wrap it myself ;-) No, seriously. They did.
Being at home on Christmas always felt so sad and lonely for me as a kid. It didn’t help that my parents used the Christmas holiday to have their annual “Ramayan” which is literally, a non-stop prayer session for TWENTY FOUR HOURS STRAIGHT. IT so sucked.
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I’m one of those Santa-encouraging moms, but when I was a kid, a girl in my brother’s class crushed the whole thing. I was so sad, I went home and cried. I hope my kids get old enough to figure it out on their own and no one screws with their Christmas excitement.
My daughter believed until she was almost 11.She now knows but also knows if she outs Santa to her sister, it all ends for her. She was really enthusiastic about leaving out cookies and carrots last Christmas Eve.
I received gifts from Santa until I got married at 23. Who is going to complain about an extra gift?
I never thought about kids of other religions. Honestly in my Upper Midwest upbringing, contact with non Christian kids almost never happened. I remember one Jewish girl at Girl Scout camp and the only reason her religion came up is that she went to participate in a Sabbath Service on Friday night.
My godson and his sister were brought up not believing in Santa. Their mom was so devastated by finding out Santa wasn’t real and saw it all as a lie, she refused to do it with her own kids. Personally knowing her parents, I have a feeling they did not handle it right. But these kids know to never out Santa to other kids and I know they be ER said a thing to my kids.
We have also explained to ours that their Jewish friends are celebrating the spirit of giving with Chanukah, but just expressing it differently. I didn’t get into the details of the origin – I think trying to describe the story of the Maccabees would have done a grave disservice because I know just enough to be dangerous. I do always feel for all of the non-Christmas celebrating kids because everything IS so Christmas driven, that I know they have to feel left out. :-(
Rebeccah recently posted..Iron Will. And Cecilia too.
Another winner, Jill! Love it. As a chick whose family is a crazy bastardized mix of Jewish, protestant, catholic and atheists, I do so enjoy holiday posts from all perspectives. Now that we have three adopted kids as well, we get to add Kwanza to our holiday festival smoothie-woot! Hooray for the kids who don’t blow it for others! Yippee for the ones who try and do it anyway. God love them for trying and for putting up with the fact that their traditions are mostly ignored while half of the nation proclaims that there is some sort of war on Christmas in a world plastered with green and red glitter and Christmas music.
Yes, we do Santa because it was important for my husband but we also talk about and do parts of the Hanukkah tradition as well because they too are part of us. When you have a mixed racial, mixed ability, mixed biology brand of family, you have to choose to chuck it all or celebrate it all–I chose a party every damn time.
Thanks for sharing your voice and happy, happy holidays!!! Hugs to you and your awesome non-spoiling it kids:)
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I hadn’t decided if I would do the whole Santa thing with the boy. The girls are done being 12 and 9 (the 9 yr old is still so believing of whimsy, though, that I think maybe she still holds out hope for his existence). Eh. It’s fun (until they start asking questions).
I’ll tell you what, though: That Tooth Fairy bitch? SHE IS DEAD TO ME.
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Ya know, I have no problem with a kid saying there is no Santa to my kid if they are a different religion. I tell my kids, well Santa does not go there so the parents tell the kids there is not one so they don’t feel left out. So don’t worry about it. They have other holidays and customs that are their traditions. My problem is with some folks I know of the Christian persuasion who decide not to do the Santa thing. One August day, when my son was 4, I tried to pass the buck on whatever he was asking for one hot summer day and I casually said, “Ask Santa for that.” The other kid piped up importantly, as if this was something we should all know, and says, “He’s not real.” Like a shot to the heart. Thanks a lot kid.
This was great, thank you! My son no longer believes, so now he’s angling to be Jewish so he can get in on Chanukah and the EIGHT days of presents. . . sigh.
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Well……..so much for till the season to be jolly! We believe in Santa, in giving to other, after all Saint Nicholas was real. That is who Santa is based on! A man who gave to others in need! Truth is over the years it has gotten out of hand! In our home we donate clothes and toys around Christmas to help others, as well as give money! We are trying hard to teach our girls that it is about giving NOT getting! I think they understand, their list for giving is great than their list for getting! I have had many Jewish friends over the years, and cant recall one who did not want my gift at Chritmas time. Maybe because it was about my giving, making them feel special, not about Christmas or getting one back! I do tell my girls that Santa only goes to house who believe, and that not everyone believes! A little magic, and beleiving in something cant be that bad or wrong, just look at ho many people go to Disneyworld/Disneyland! What is wrong with beleiving in magic? After all how did they light a candle every night for eight nights, when they only had oil for one! I think we all beleive in magic!
Love this! I’ve spent years trying to keep my honest to a fault daughter from her one child campaign to put the kabash on Santa.
So thankful that my Christian husband’s family didn’t follow the Santa is real and provides the gifts parenting model. I don’t know how I would handle the fact that some poor kids get no gifts. A friend of mine created an elaborate story for her kids that included parents sending money to Santa to fund his shopping.
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Festivus for the rest of us, baby!!!!
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I am an at home daycare provider and have always asked before the holiday season what the parents feel the most secure with. I put a tree, stockings and a nativity up so if someone feels negatively I want to be able to talk to them further. We also cover all the holidays upcoming this month. My family may celebrate Christmas but the children will learn about everything while under my roof. :) So far so good, no issues and I’ve been doing this for just shy of three years.
My 9 year old has been asking for the truth, “Mom are you Santa?” and I’m all “I don’t know, are you?…HEY LOOK A BIRD!”
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As a Muslim mother – I totally get you. Try explaining to the rest of the school how your holiday isn’t on the same day every year and their eyes glaze over. I only hope my loud, boisterous, wild child doesn’t ruin it for the other kids….
PS – I would gladly accept cookies and fudge!
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After having to comfort my toddler over an unnecessarily frightening Halloween display in front of someone’s house, I have less patience for the Xmas hoopla than ever. I’m not worried about her blowing the Santa whistle on anyone, but I am worried about having to explain the over-the-top EVERYTHING that is Xmas in this country. Looks like we’ll be avoiding malls for the next two months. I don’t begrudge anyone a celebration of a holiday (hey, some of the Jewish ones involve stuff that may seem wacky or invasive to our neighbors, if not the entire nation), but honestly, being surrounded by the Xmas thing when you don’t celebrate it can be a drag. Not because you feel left out (I never did, as a kid), but because it’s so in-your-face in general.
Please don’t hate me, I’m not trying to rain on anyone’s parade. But this is the first year I’m potentially going to have to talk with my kid about what all that stuff is and why it’s not for us, and I’m disgruntled that it’s such a problem to begin with.
Are you kidding! I tell my (Jewish) kids that there IS in fact a Santa Clause and that on Christmas Eve he also visits the Jewish homes and punishes badly behaving children. They are terrified.
We are not Jewish but we don’t fall for that whole Santa crap around here, I don’t have time for all that! Plus my husband and I both put our time and money into getting our children things that they need, want and desire. No fat white dude that breaks into my house via the chimney is going to get credit for all that.
Not to mention, my kiddos know I can’t stand animals so there would never be reindeer hanging out on my roof leaving behind reindeer poop, nor would I ever leave carrots out for they nasty a@* animals, LOL!
For us Christmas is about Jesus birth, plus we spend more time giving to others than worrying about what they are going to get or not get…
I never told Lorelli about Santa. She has had her picture taken with him but she knows it’s just a thing that some grownups want you to do, sometimes. I buy her presents. I pay for them. With my money. And when she was younger that money was VERY VERY hard earned and spent. She knows, though, not to tell other kids that there is no Santa because that would hurt their feelings. But she does ask why their parents lie to them about a fat guy in a suit with a beard buying all their presents.
hmmm….true. I find, buy and wrap all those presents and some fake fat guy in a suit gets all the credit. I might need to rethink this whole Santa thing…
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my son will be 9 next week and he still believes. He has started making comments that lead me to think he is on the verge of realization. I am thankful that no one has yet to say anything at school. I’ve been waiting for that for the last 2 years.
Santa does not go “all out” He does bring only 3 presents to each kid (1 toy, 1 book, and 1 set of clothes) the “big” and “fun” gifts do come from mom and dad.
We do not go to great lengths to keep the image of Santa alive, but we do try to keep the feeling of the magic of Christmas alive.
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When I was 8 years old, I stood at the top of the stairs, overlooking the living room of our house when my parents thought I was sleeping on Christmas Eve. I watched my dad, with “Santa’s” cookie hanging out of his mouth, crawl under the tree to arrange the presents my mom was handing him!
I wasn’t enthralled with Santa. My parents always addressed gifts to each other as “to Santa” and “to Mrs. Claus” – in the morning, someone would put on the Santa hat to be the official gift giver outer – and my dad would yell “Who wants to be Santa?” – Santa was a fun character, but no one put too much effort into making or keeping me believing.
We do the same for our kids – they like the idea of Santa (who doesn’t?!) but we aren’t putting any energy into keeping the myth alive. I am hoping, that just as I did, they will just outgrow the idea of the chimney & all, but not the fun of it.
Growing up as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, we never celebrated the holidays either. My husband and I have chosen to raise our children the same way. This is one of the particular times of year where we get to hear from others what we believe-most of it completely incorrect. Last year was the most difficult for my son as he is a perpetual truth teller and Kindergarten was his first time to be completely surrounded by it. I had a real appreciation for this post because we covered it ahead of time that it was up to each child’s parents what they decide to teach their children, and it was not his place to tell them anything different. It was the hardest thing for him and I was so proud he didn’t blow the whistle. He got to pick our ‘theme party’ that month that we do for our kids. (He wanted an Ocean party.) His entire class asked the teacher if they could make things for his party since they had been doing Christmas things for the last two weeks and the whole class worked on a large mural and decorations. It was priceless!
Great reply, Candy. I was raised as a Witness too and we are raising our 18 month old son as a Witness. My parents always told me not to say anything to the other kids because it wasn’t a nice thing to do.
This is great! Loved it!
I don’t let santa take all the credit either.
“remember last year, Santa got you a scooter and a lump of coal to remind you to be good next year, everything else you got mommy and daddy and your grandparents got you.” this I said to my now 6 yr old.
I must be an old grinch or something! I have a three year old and I told him already that santa isn’t real. In my mind its lying to your child. Why would I lie now and then tell him the truth later just to have him get sad and mad at me. I let him go see santa at the mall and stuff I just make sure to tell him its just for play and pretend..
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I was the Jewish kid who told the other kids that Santa wasn’t real, but that was because they tried to tease me about not celebrating Christmas. So when they tried taunting me I told them the truth.
Chanukah is a little more than a week away, can’t wait. We don’t go overboard with gifts at all. Kids won’t get stuff every night, but I do love lighting the menorah with them and the food.
Got to run hit the treadmill, all that fried food is going to kill me.
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I am not Jewish – but really don’t push Santa. It’s just Christmas time at my house. We celebrate Christmas, but I don’t have the time and energy to make up silly stories for my kids about Santa. I work full time, cook, clean, raise 3 kids (just like most of you). They get a handful of gifts and that’s it. I never even threaten to take away Christmas – just seems evil to me. But thankfully my kids haven’t been to bad to threaten them with no gifts.
Ha. Well said, Jill.
I’m particularly proud that I’ve lied to my kids, convincing them to sit on a stranger’s lap, accept candies and presents from a stranger, be OK with a stalker who “sees you when you’re sleeping”, and believe that breaking and entering is perfectly legit.
Fast track to therapy, please.
Happy Holidays!
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We aren’t doing Santa with our son because when I was a kid, I got really angry with my Mom when she wouldn’t tell me if Santa was real or just your Mom and Dad like the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny. I wanted to know the truth, dammit, which is funny in retrospect, considering I became a reporter for a living. I remember being hysterican and screaming, “if you’re going to lie to me, I’m never going to believe what you say ever again.” It was kind of a breaking point between us that has never really healed – I did stop trusting them on that day. Very traumatic for an 8-year-old, and I don’t want to ‘go there’ with my kid, because he’ll probably be a too-smart-for-his-own-good drama king just like his Mama. LOL
A ticking time bomb to see if your kid would be the asshole to ruin it all….I never thought of that! The whole post is hysterical. Also brings to mind Cynthia Kaplan, one of my favorite authors, also Jewish, who wrote and sings, “Merry Fucking Christmas.” Love that, too.
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You know, we’ve never done the Santa thing. Ever. We just go to the grandparents, and then when we’re home on Christmas they get presents. They’ve never once asked about Santa. Maybe that’s the advantage of having a child with severe ADD, he just has never noticed where those presents come from. And that’s just fine.
I am guilty of doing the Tooth Fairy tale, but she is a LAZY tooth fairy. She won’t even climb up in the loft. She just leaves money laying around…
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My kids are 4 & 2 and I definitely don’t think that they feel like they are “missing out” because we don’t celebrate Xmas. And for those of you who say “we got nothing” compared to that red & green holiday I think you’re the ones missing out. What kid doesn’t love 8 days of chocolate, doughnuts & presents?! We have the best time spinning the dreidel on the living room floor while basking in the beautiful light of our menorah, listening to Chanukah music, reading Chanukah books and attending holiday parties. The holidays are what you make of them. We all have lots to be thankful for and especially that we live in a country were everyone is free to celebrate their own traditions.
You’ve given me an entirely new appreciation for Jewish children across the world! :)
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Even though we weren’t Jewish, my parents were very religious and told us right from the start that Santa did not exist. In fact, they explained that the words were mixed up to really spell “satan.” Creepily, they are. Now that I have a kiddo of my own, I get super excited for Christmas and Santa because I get to do what I didn’t get to do as a kid myself. It’s hard to be a kid and miss out on the magic of Santa Claus. Whoa…I think I have entirely too much Christmas spirit this year. Anyway…
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Oh, my family’s church was in the “Santa is Satan” club, too! Talk about scaring a little kid.
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My kids are great about keeping the secret and last year one of their Christian friends said Santa didn’t exist! Every year I read a Chanukkah book to each of their classes at school & bring jelly donuts. They love it! On Christmas day we sleep in and then go ice skating or hit the indoor water park with all the other Jews!!!
TOTALLY. I agree with this 100%. I also owe a thanks to my Christian relatives children who don’t celebrate Santa in favor of celebrating Jesus (what’s up with that?). So far, even though they are little, they haven’t blown my cover.
PS – I’m kidding about the whole “what’s up with that” comment…I totally appreciate that some people can actually celebrate the holidays for the actual holiday itself.
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We’ve got the Hanukkah/Christmas thing going on and the kids are still equally happy to do both even if belief is dwindling. A friend of mine has a daughter who last year, when her peers were teasing her about being Hindu and getting nothing from Santa, she told those kids that there was no Santa. The school principal called the parents! While seven year olds may still believe that Santa’s real, to have another child get in trouble for standing up for her beliefs is ridiculous! Bravo to those who can keep their lips buttoned, but do we need to be upset with those who can’t?
Yep! Well, actually, I’m from a Baptist family that doesn’t celebrate Christmas…but the same thing applies. It was torture as a kid to listen to friends (and adults!) go on and on about Santa and just staring at them trying to keep my mouth shut. Now I have a 4 year old son who knows that “Santa is just a man in a costume” but I often have to cover his mouth or shush him in public when he starts answering to whoever asked him this time what Santa is bringing him.
Lillian @ Elle The Heiress recently posted.."cutest lil’ helpers" layout
I never thought of it that way. That would stink. I like to give Santa credit for half the presents, but take credit for the other half myself…
I’m not sure if we’re going to do the picture at the mall thing this year. I just found out that my coworker is the one who does the best Santa in town…that’s just creepy.
I never thought about it from the other side. While growing up, I knew there were people that didn’t believe but I always just thought, “sucks to be them.” LOL
True confession, I LOVE Santa. It is one of my favorite parts of Christmas. Not just because of the gifts, but because of the pure spirit of the giving. To me it is what brings the magic. Moving from a child that believed to a pre-teen that didn’t was not traumatic for me. The magic just switched. Being able to give that to my kids is pretty special. To me anyway.
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That is exactly how I felt. I remember switching from Santa is a real being to Santa is the embodiment of the spirit of giving. We have a three year old and are doing the Santa thing, but someday he will question it. We will leave out cookies and cocoa, because seriously, who doesn’t want cookies and cocoa? I remember carrots being left out as a child, but I know now that they went to the horses or back in the fridge, maybe even eaten in the house, I never asked. We are doing the elf on the shelf thing starting this year, but I am excited about it because I get to do things like hang my son’s undies on the tree or putting crepe paper across his door. I am a bit of a joker so this is fun for me.
I’ve never gone as far as leaving evidence of their visits but my DD5 absolutely believes that I have the phone number of Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Toothfairy on speed dial.
LOVED this Jill!!!!
Nina recently posted..Eight Nights of Gifts Without Spoiled Kids
We just say Santa is a game of pretend, and some of the other kids believe in it, so don’t tell them because their parents will be mad. We still pretend about Santa, but I am up front that Santa is not real, and we are just pretending.
This is our plan but my son just turned 3 so this will be the first year to give it a try. He loves playing make believe so hopefully it will be an easy concept. I’m just worried about him blabbing to all of his friends :/
You had me laughing out loud since I was one of the kids who kept the secret for years. In fact, I bit my tongue when I was a 4th and 5th grade teacher as well (just in case)!
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Ha. I was an agnostic Hindu. I was more connected to the Jewish kids. My parents did Christmas- I suppose Xmas- so we didn’t feel left out.
We always knew there was no Santa. Seriously I think my whole elementary school thought there was no Santa. So I never had to worry about blowing it.
I think they all just lied to our parents and said they believed.
Or I secretly thought- well I’m agnostic. Santa existence is like God existence- maybe? Possibly? And finally- do I care? Yea….I don’t.
Just being honest. I’m not telling my half Indian, half African American kids there’s a Santa. I don’t get the greedy argument- once Santa is phony- they get greedy. What do you with birthday gifts, get a birthday fairy? I pushed their asses out- or got sliced open- I teach them the value of what they get FROM ME. You ge t my love and what I can afford. It’s a priceless thing. Christmas doesn’t have to be different…. Greed is an emotion. They can ask. Why do we have to give just because they ask? Will they cry? Maybe. I pick one big thing and little things. Not everything.
I mean- I want Frye boots, a nook, a huge TV, jeans and a puppy- I won’t get it but I wil still be happy that day. That’s what I hope to teach!
I’ve never done “Santa Claus” for my kids. My oldest is 7 and my youngest is 2. I have issues with the fat man that stem way beyond religion or stranger danger… (social issues…shhhh) Sometimes I feel as if I’ve robbed them of some childhood wonder that will scar them for life and they will spend years on a therapists couch wondering why they are the only child that Santa never came to see… then I remember the alternative is spending years on the therapists couch wondering why mom lied to them for years about Santa, and I figure I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t so I might as well do what I think is best in the whole scheme of things and lets face it, it is a whole hell of a lot of work, and kids start thinking Santa can bring things like iPods and Nintendo3ds’s and it’s a whole lot easier to say ” hell no, I’m not buying one of those, you already have a wii” than to try to explain why they weren’t good enough for Santa to bring one. :) So far it’s worked fine for us, and my daughter hasn’t ruined it for anyone, and knows when well meaning adults ask about what she got from Santa just to say one of her gifts and move on…
Man I never thought of this *hanging head*
I will say that my son was almost 9 “the last year he believed”. And it was fun to have that kind of magic. But we still have it–as the saying goes in my family, “if you don’t believe you don’t receive” LOL So the stockings are from Santa now, even ours. Yes our 17yo has known for a long time (and let me tell you how awkward it was the year that both the Easter Bunny AND the Tooth Fairy had to show up!) But she had fun going along with it.
We never went over the top where Santa was concerned. I did leave a letter to each kid, and there was the plate of crumbs (and a chunk of carrot–yes we fed the reindeer) plus a mug of rice milk (hey food allergies here!) But that was it.
Although the one year I was out with DD about 2 weeks before xmas….and a man in the Winn Dixie looked JUST LIKE SANTA. No kidding. You should have seen my daughter’s eyes. Priceless.
The only one I worried about “ruining it” was his sister. Cuz. um. I may have been the one that told my younger sister, but I recanted after a stern glare from my mom.
Wow really. We do definitely have a lot of scary mommys out there. No wonder your children depict you as monsters.
We do Christmas and Hannukah (worst parenting decision ever. Eight days of gifts followed by a giftapalooza)! And my kids have finally stopped believing in Santa, which is good because I was getting tired of the charade.
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Funny post…my kids range in age from 28 to 9. They all still profess to believe. Might have something to do with the fact that I told them only kids who believe in Santa get presents from him, lol. I was thinking, though…this year I am leaving an extra gift from Santa for my youngest, Gideon…along with a letter from the jolly old elf telling him how much he’s enjoyed visiting our family each year, how now that Gid will turn 10 in early January, he’s a big boy and won’t need Santa any more…and how very, very much he’s enjoyed watching over him and bringing him gifts for the last many years. That he’s a good boy, and Santa will see him again when he has children of his own.
Oh, and it’s not 12 reindeer, it’s 8…9 if you count Rudolf. Just sayin’ ;)
I have never EVER known a non Santa believer child to NOT ruine it for believers. I have never known a child who knew the truth about santa Jewish or not. To not jump at the chance to ruine it for others. The saying kids can be cruel exists for a reason. More often than not children love to ruine “it” what ever it is for other children.
Well, perfectly sane adults believe in an invisible sky friend, so why not Santa. At least they don’t usually grow into adulthood believing it.
Funny post.
But I have to confess that I’ve never outgrown the Santa fantasy. I’m a sucker for everyone of those Santa movies, and I’ve enjoyed maintaining the fantasy for my kids. This is likely the last year that Santa will be “alive” in my house since my youngest is slowly figuring it out. I will mourn his passing like he were a family member. I know it makes it hard on those families who don’t have this tradition, but please know that we appreciate the pickle it places your families in.
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I have some how never remotely thought of that. You’re completely right.
Also reindeer poop? Really? I mean isn’t that just taking it a little too far?
Marta recently posted..Telling the Truth.
Don’t be so proud of your children for not busting Santa to the young ones, unless you are proud of them for not going around and bursting young kids’ bubbles about the tooth fairy. The bigger picture is that all kids should learn that it is not always about them and different kids celebrate different Holidays. Being happy for others on their special day is the learning lesson, not that your child isn’t mean enough to purposely ruin other’s Holidays. The real meaning behind many Holidays is not what is commercialized to us daily, but these additions are fun. Teach your child to be proud of themselves for the right reasons, not because they didn’t choose a selfish path.
I some what agree with u..i wouldnt wont my kids to burst any childs bubble on there i guess important. Holiday. .but they better be careful asking questions why my child dont celebrate then they will get a straight answer that might burst their bubble depending on if they take what my child say and run with it…the its not my childs fault..lol
Our kids are still little but before we ever had them my hubby and I talked about this. Santa brings our kids stockings. What is under the tree is from mommy and daddy. It helps them understand that we work for what we give them.
My Jew envy is in overdrive right now. You know I want in the tribe.
Erin I’m Gonna Kill Him recently posted..I’m Nearsighted, Not Clear Sighted
Santa’s not real?!?! Gawd, it’s like one big cover up. While I envy my Jewish friends not having to create and maintain a farce around some old dude needing to do the Richard Simmons Deal-a-Meal, they can keep their Sabbath. I want my damn Internet 24/7.
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It was very hard to each my second DD, then 4 years old, not to tell her daycare friends that Santa was not real. She was “philosophically disturbed” about it and thought that her friends should know that they were being duped! LOL! I did manage to keep her quiet…
We do celebrate Eid, but it does not always come around during December so sometimes it does get hard explaining things to kids. My kids always wanted lights on the house. I told my eldest that some houses need to be dark so that the lighted houses look pretty and she was okay with that. My second immediately wanted to know who we can talk to about changing that and always pointed out a clump of houses all lit up together.
I do appreciate all the kids (and adults) who don’t ruin the holidays. My son still believes in santa, the tooth fairy, the easter bunny, and magic in general. I didn’t plan it and I don’t stage an elaborate show to make it happen, he just sees what he wants to see in the world. I see no reason to take the joy of magic away from him just so I can get a little more credit for having bought him gifts, or because I (not him) don’t appreciate the myth. I think he gains far more from believing in the impossible than learning about a budget or using Christmas as a teaching lesson about how hard the adult world is. He has an allowance and chores for that the other 51 weeks of the year.
We don’t celebrate Christmas; instead we celebrate the Winter Solstice, and we tweak the Santa thing to be more like the original legend of Odin’s journey across the sky leaving presents in shoes. We made a “special” deal with Santa to help make his run on December 25th easier and he visits us on the night before Yule. I figured if they get made fun of for not celebrating the “normal” holiday, they can always fire back with, “Well Santa gives us our gifts before you guys!” and gives enough leeway that wherever our doing of Santa differs from another child, we or the other child’s parent(s) can chuck it up to our special deal.
This is a great post. I had to laugh at the woman buying reindeer footprints and the fact that they even sell them. Really? My imagination more than made up those things when I was a kid. Now kids can’t walk through Target without seeing the evidence on display, which is probably one reason my daughter’s first-grade class had lots of rumors going around about the truth about Santa Claus.
Karen recently posted..Santa Is Real If You Know Where to Look
We’re Catholic, with kids in Catholic school. And yes we “do” Santa, and the school does too, but the main focus for us is on the religious aspects and the importance of family. My 8 year old still believes and I’m fine with that because I’m sure it won’t last much longer.
Santa brings one gift and everything else is from mom and dad. Not that we want them to consider how much we spent on them, but we want them to learn the effort that goes with gift giving–thinking of a thoughtful gift that someone will like that doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive. And yeah, moey doesn’t grow on trees, so you don’t get everything you want.
One of my Jewish Facebook friends said she thinks Christmas letters are weird. I had to laiugh at that because some of them ARE weird.
My kids know Jewish people mutilate their sons in the name of their imaginary friends, so they think in comparison they are pretty lucky to get gifts from theirs.
Hmmm I believed in Santa until I was 13/14! Yes I was 14 before I let the dream go!! I was told at 13 by a teacher that there was no such thing as Santa (my mother was pissed) but I didn’t want to believe her so I kept believing until the next year. My daughter believed in Santa until she was about 12 years old. My six year old still believes of course and he will most likely still believe at 9 years old too!!
I don’t try as hard as the woman your posting about but I tell him that Santa will only come if he believes in him. I use different wrapping paper that is about as far as I go with it though.
As far as Santa getting credit for the presents, I never even thought about this until my husband mentioned that hates that Santa gets all the credit for bringing gifts; to me it makes no difference I don’t need the credit for it! I find being jealous of Santa is petty! Besides Santa isn’t the only one who brings gifts! I buy some too :)
I don’t understand any of you!
So you are lying to your children and you expect other people to help you lie?
and then you get all pissy when a child tells the TRUTH to your children? Why do you expect kids to carry on with your lie?
Santa is such a materialized thing anyways, where on earth does Santa even come from?
Christmas is suppose to be a religious holiday, If you are celebrating Christmas celebrate it for the right reasons. If Christianity is what you believe in then celebrate Christmas for what it is. There is no mention of “santa” in the bible, you people are just teaching your kids to be greedy. Think about all the children in Africa who have absolutly nothing, why don’t you try to teach your kids about more important things in life, like giving to children in need.
I agree Ashley!
you women are being so selfish, all that you can think about it is getting credit from your children for the gifts that “santa” brought them. Really? that’s whats important to you? And like Ashley said, How can you get mad when another child tells yours that there is no such thing as an imaginary man dressed up in a red suit who brings gifts.
I found this blog when “googling” something about how to prevent my 3 year old from spoiling Santa for his friends. My husband never had Santa growing up. It was always very important to his father that his children knew why they really celebrated Christmas, and so the tradition continues. Also, we didn’t want to set the precedent that it is okay to lie. Even if it’s just sometimes. So, this year is the first year that he understands enough to get the truth. I don’t think it will be difficult for him. He knows that we are celebrating Jesus’ birthday and I’ve mentioned several times that this is the reason we have Christmas. But I’m so nervous that he’s going to go blow it for all of his preschool friends! Yikes! If anybody has any advice on convincing a 3 year old to keep his mouth shut, I’m all ears.
Never thought about that before – good perspective! Around here, Santa does not get all the credit. He gives a couple of gifts and fills the stockings. Mom and Dad and everyone else their credit too! And by the way, I had my daughter believing all the way up til 11.
just JENNIFER recently posted..Juicy Juice Fruitifuls Review & #Giveaway
My best childhood friend was Jewish — and she DID (gleefully) tell me there was no Santa when I was 4 years old. No “Bravo” for her! Hmpf.
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It is such a lovely article. You know your really articles that are different from that of other bloggers and that’s what makes your blogs so unique. I don’t really think anyone ever gave a thought about the elder kids who put on an act for their younger siblings just so that they can enjoy the magic of Christmas for a few years more.
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I plan to follow in my mothers footsteps because I think she was BRILLIANT.
1. We never did Santa. Both my brother and I were terrified by the idea of some strangely clothed man sneaking into our house in the middle if the night while our parents were asleep. Even though my parents went to great lengths to assure us Santa was NOT real, we spent many Christmas Eves huddled under our blankets, wide eyed and terrified, thinking every little sound might be the fateful reindeer on the roof. My mom was able to get so much done on Christmas Eve because we put ourselves to bed early and NEVER dared come out from under our covers until well after dawn.
2. My mom never had trouble with us finding our presents early. She had a hard and fast rule: Your presents are in my closet. If you go in there, I will immediately give all of your presents to a charity. We knew better than to test her.
3. Christmas or not, we also knew Mom’s other rule: Begging or whining earned you an automatic no. Yikes! We also knew that complaining wouldn’t end well. No anger. She just would have sweetly said something along the lines of, “We’ll, since I obviously don’t know what you REALLY want, you can use your allowance money to buy your own Christmas presents next year.”
I loved your article, it really opened my eyes. I was so busy making Christmas special for my younger kid that I completely forgot to appreciate the efforts my elder kid is taking in order to keep his brother happy. He really deserves something very special. I really don’t know how you do it but keep coming up with such good articles they are of great help for clueless parents like me.
Andru recently posted..John
My mother n law just tried me with that why my kids dont celebrate christmas when her son did growing up bull crap..listen i dont follow traditions..just because everybody else did it for decades dont make it right..its more than christmas that we been lied to about…my kids gonna kno the truth. like Easter.lol.
If yall knew the true meaning of Christmas….yall would kno that it really is no different from Halloween…it might look different but its the same evil rituals that they do every year while we or should i say yall are distracted from the bull crap holidays…please do ur reaseach even if i sound like a conspiracy qeen..im not just wise and see things past our flesh. .