2014-THANKSgiving

A Case of The Man Cold

106 Comments

For the past several weeks, I’ve been sick. My throat has been sore. My nose has been stuffy. My sinuses have been achy and I’ve been coughing up green crap incessantly (sorry for the visual.) It’s no doubt that with an ear and strep infected son who insists on permanently residing up in my face that I would get sick. I finally went on antibiotics for a sinus infection last week and have slowly been on the mend. Unfortunately, just in time for my husband to get sick.

Now, I love my husband. I truly believe we are soulmates, my life wouldn’t be complete without him, he is the love of my life and all that crap, but when he’s sick? I have visions of stabbing him repeatedly with sharp kitchen utensils and making a run for it with our children.

What? He gives me no choice.

You would have thought he was dying yesterday. In fact, fifty years from now (God willing,) when he is on his death bed, I imagine his face looking remarkably similar to the way it did for much of the weekend.

I’m sick, he proclaimed pathetically. Barely mustering up the energy to get out of bed, he drove to the Minute Clinic to get a dose of antibiotics and a bucket of sympathy. An hour later he called sounding defeated. Did they give you something, I asked. No, he whimpered. The strep test was negative and she said it couldn’t be a sinus infection if it just started.

It’s a cold.

(A man-cold.)

Someone, save me. We may not survive this week. Either one of us.

Comments

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  1. 2

    Autumn says

    I believe the man cold has become an epidemic i have encountered many men with exact same symptoms. Fatigue, sore throat, inablility to rise out of bed and constant whineing. Oh well what can you do besides daydream beating them.

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  2. 3

    Deidre says

    My god!! How true is this? My husband becomes no longer functional as a human being when he is sick! Thank you for sharing, I feel much less alone in this crazy world!

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    • 4

      pammiesue says

      LOL. My hubby expects to roll over and die w/ the slightest hint of anything. And requests hot fudge sundaes as THE cure. Yeah, what ever. He makes the third of my children. I did however, realize after reading these posts… my maiden name is MANN. Oh yeah, next time I get sick? I’m cashing in THAT chip!

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  3. 5

    Barbara says

    I KNEW where you were going with this post just from the title and the first sentence. It must be in chromosomes. I guess they can’t help it. Be patient, honey, and lock up the sharp objects for a few days.

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  4. 7

    Christen says

    Haha. I understand this completely. This is the reason women were made to give birth and men were made to just sit back and watch– They can’t handle it!

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  5. 8

    Loralee says

    Your green mucous turns me on, baby.

    My husband that can lift couches by himself turns into an incapacitated three-toed sloth when he is sick. I always treat him well and baby him thinking that the favor will be returned when I am sick.

    Instead, when I feel wretched, I get treated like I should be that chick that births and then goes and works in the rice paddy right after giving birth in “The Good Earth”.

    Sigh.

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  6. 9

    Old School / New School Mom says

    I totally feel your pain. Wil acts like an overgrown baby when he’s sick. Meanwhile, when I’m sick? He thinks he is saving the world by “letting me sleep.”

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  7. 14

    Moomser says

    My husband watched the video and left muttering under his breath “you women think you’re soooo funny…”. Remember Jill, just stroke his head and say “you poor bunny” and then remind him what happens to bunnies in movies like, say, fatal attraction… bwahahaha

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  8. 15

    Sunday says

    I am sad to say that the cold I have had for the better part of the last three weeks may have been a man-cold. Too bad no one gave me a freaking little bell.

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  9. 17

    Diana @Hormonal Imbalances says

    Why is it that men always seem to sicker than women – with the exact same symptoms? Can you imagine a man being pregnant? Lordy, my husband would die.

    And you know what? When I am sick, he’s sick. Or getting sick.

    It’s not fair.

    :/

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  10. 19

    vanillasugar says

    god i love you.
    you speak my “i want to kill my hubby when he’s sick language too’
    i swear jill when my hubby is sick i want to throw him in the garage for quarantine.

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  11. 20

    The Domestic Goddess says

    You have my sincere sympathies. I have been laid up for three weeks in excruciating pain because of two badly herniated discs. While the husband has been great at doing just about everything around here, today he stayed in bed instead of going to work, I got the kids off to school (well, one kid, since the other one is sick) and when he finally rolled outta bed at 1pm (in the afternoon!) and I reminded him I needed a nap because I had been up since 3am with the little one and HELLO! HERNIATED DISCS! I can’t recuperate without sleep! He was all, “But I’m siiiiiiick.” HELLO? REMEMBER ME? Girl who leans to one side like quasimodo and limps?

    There must be something on the Y chromosome that says, “When sick, you will turn into a pile of gelatinous mess with eyes.”

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  12. 22

    Brittney says

    I’m glad I’m not the only one that has visions of stabbing my husband with sharp things when he is “sick” :) Divorce is not an option for me….ehhh, except sometimes I feel like divorcing him when he is sick:)

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  13. 24

    amy says

    I have recently started to use the line”when I am old and need someone to help me, I am calling you” this is usually addressed to my children after an afternoon of Chucky Cheese, rollerskating etc.
    The husband when he is sick I just leave the house since he doesn’t help me when I am sick,I will take that back one day since he did nurse me thru 2 bad bouts of flu and a few surgeries. He sleeps when he is sick and wants to be left alone. Thank G-d.

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