Jessica Watson
Latest posts by Jessica Watson (see all)
- The Perks to Having an Autistic Teen - January 20, 2012
- Her Place - May 24, 2011
1. Seventeen years and counting and I have not had to endure a single boy band concert. My daughter has no interest in pop culture and if she did, she would need ear plugs and industrial headphones just to step inside so, of course, I would wear the same to make sure she doesn’t stand out in the crowd.
2. Fashion is a non-issue. As long as it is comfortable she does not care. I have ventured into those stores where you come out smelling like you swam to the cash register in a pool of their cologne and narrowly made it out without drowning. My daughter could care less what she wears, what you wear, what I wear. It’s nice, for her, for me, for my sense of smell.
3. While there may not be an over-abundance of eye contact going on over here it is not because she is staring down at a phone, texting someone who she would much rather be talking to than me, at a speed more rapid than I was ever able to attain in my high school typing class.
4. You never have to wonder what she is thinking. It just comes right out. She will tell you if you are late, early, too loud, in her way, going the wrong way, you name it. There is no beating around the bush and actually you can’t say “beating around the bush” because if you do she will tell you that does not make sense.
5. Curfews are a non-issue. I remember the days of negotiating with my own mom and also the nights of trying to tiptoe in the house after the day of negotiating proved unsuccessful. I can happily brag that I know where my teenager is every Friday and Saturday night. If she is pulling an all-nighter it is because someone forgot the melatonin.
6. We are saving on car insurance. I have not spent a single night lying awake waiting for the garage door to open or close or for her to drive through it.
7. I am still her friend. I have noticed that there are other people whom she would much rather see than me but for the most part, time with Mom is still on her list of things she can tolerate and I can pretend that I am cool until the rest of my kids become teenagers and tell me otherwise.
8. She is affectionate. We never hit the do-not-even-breathe-on-me phase. She will hold my hand, dole out the hugs and would no doubt sit on my lap if we weren’t the same size.
9. No drama. Okay, we have our fair share of drama but it is more of the you-screwed-up-my-schedule or the-bus-is-late variety not that mean teen girl drama that occurs in every other household. There is no catty, she said this or her boyfriend did this going on over here which leads into my final and favorite thing about my teenager with autism…
10. She is kind and innocent. There is seriously not a mean, malicious bone in her body. She will treat you the same whether you are rich, poor, famous, homeless, 2 years-old, 90 years-old, can’t speak, can’t shut up, she does not care. She will never speak behind your back, whisper about your bad hair day or spin the truth.
What you see is what you get and when all is right in our autism world, I know I have a lot more to learn from her than she does from me.
{ 44 comments… read them below or add one }
A beautiful post from my beautiful, wise, amazing and inspiring friend. Love.
erin margolin recently posted..Giveaway! Strong Like Butterfly: An Anthology
Thank you so much Erin.
Jessica recently posted..Pick your own purse
I have an autistic son, and have rarely heard from a parent of an autistic teen. This gives me a great deal of hope; since his diagnoses two months ago, I’ve been a mess. Thank you so much for this.
Oh I am so glad to hear that this helped a little bit Tracey. The early days after a diagnosis can be very tough. Please feel free to contact me if there is anything I can do to get you through.
Jessica recently posted..The worst gift ever
This was wonderful – passing on to several friends who I know would appreciate it.
Thank so much Kim.
Jessica recently posted..The worst gift ever
This is so awesome & very true, you could be talking about my son too. I worried what the teens years would be like but other than the fact he’s 6ft tall and climbing he’s still my sweet little guy who holds my hand to cross the street. When he does act up like a snotty teen I cheer inside a little because he’s “suppose” to do that like his peers, but when he’s asking me tuck him in and give him his stuffed animals still, most of me cheers I still have my baby longer than most moms. Finding the silver lining is key and cherishing ALL the milestones is important, even the ugly ones.
I absolutely love your honesty and wit in this, Jessica. You’er an amazing mom to a very special and lucky girl (+3).
Leigh Ann recently posted..Messy hair and I don’t care
This is AWESOME! There are times that I think about all that I will “miss out on” as far as teenage things go with my son Casey or my daughter Abby. I sometimes forget all of the good things that come from Casey’s autism and Abby’s Down syndrome. I might not have a daughter who fights with me the way I fought with my mom! That would be dreamy.
Beautiful post, Jess, as always.
Lexi Sweatpants recently posted..Dyson’s suck…until they don’t…then they REALLY SUCK
I love this. I can hardly even imagine a teen scene that isn’t centered around texting, so refreshing and inspiring!
Anna recently posted..Inauguration Day: Red, White and Blue Breakfast Ideas
GREAT post Jessica (as always)! There are definite pluses during the teenage years! :D
Such a great post- I love ALL of the perks, but especially #10! Thanks for the smile today!
Kristin recently posted..Saying Yes
Absolutely beautiful! So well done, Jessica!
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..10 Cures for PMS
What a lovely, and timely, post. I’ve been thinking about this more lately as we face a different future with our son than the one we envisioned a while back. I really appreciate your perspective and your daughter’s spirit.
This: “What you see is what you get and when all is right in our autism world, I know I have a lot more to learn from her than she does from me.” I think about this constantly, too. Sometimes, it’s good to be reminded.
Niksmom recently posted..What we didn’t know then
This is beautiful, Jess. Thank you for giving me a hint of what might be my future, too <3
jillsmo recently posted.."All Kids Do That" Part 20: Finding a School
This sounds like a great perspective. Your daughter is lucky to have you for a mother.
Nicole(Whole Strides) recently posted..Blah, blah. Filler, filler
I love this! And I almost wish she could be my daughter – or at least precious niece – she sounds lovely. And you sound like a wonderful mother.
I love your perspective, Jessica. And the fashion thing made me laugh!!
anymommy recently posted..Never say never
Love seeing you two together today!
{And #s 7 & 10? Total and complete swooners!}
Galit Breen recently posted..Why I Hate the Word Tolerance, on The Huffington Post
I found you through Jillsmo, and perhaps I am displaying poor social boundaries, but I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!!! Everything you wrote? Yeah, that’s my 9 year old son. He’s loving, cuddly (except when he wants to be left the FUCK alone), a terrible liar, socially clueless, totally into licking anyone/anything, he doesn’t know why the FUCK I insist on his wearing underpants to a play date, and his favorite pasttimes are lining shit up, spinning shit around, and throwing magnets at shit. <3
Thanks so much Yvonne.
Jessica recently posted..Contract Revision
LOL glad to see someone telling it like it is!
Thank you for sharing. My son is 15 and an Aspie. He does occasionally tell me to go away and want his alone time. But I always know where he is. As you said, there are no arguments about curfew or worrying about him out running the streets with his friends. He is always here with us and when he isn’t focused on a video game he hangs out with us. He is sweet and kind. He would not hold my hand but asks for back rubs all the time. Not sure other 15 year old boys are that close to their moms. It is wonderful.
Neo Aspieside recently posted..Motivation
OH, my heart. Love love love this. Beautiful, gentle humor and such an amazing perspective. Your daughter sounds like an awesome person and so do you. :-)
Rebeccah recently posted..Stranger Danger and My Kids Were Unprepared
She sounds like a sweetheart, Jessica. It would be nice if more teenagers would maintain a little of this innocence.
Kathy at kissing the frog recently posted..7 Lessons My Family Has Already Taught Me This Year
Thank you so much for this. I’ve been muddling through since my 4 yr old’s diagnosis (PDD-NOS) in September. It’s good to hear from parents with older children.
Melinda recently posted..i got a makeover!
My daughter has PDD as well and, like you, I remember not quite seeing the light at the tunnel when she was young and newly diagnosed. I promise it will get easier. The days will not always be easy but you will get more of a handle on all of it and not feel so much like you are muddling through.
Jessica recently posted..Contract Revision
Thank you thank you thank you! My 2 year old daughter was just diagnosed…I need to read more of these stories for sure!
This was interesting to read. As a female adult Aspie, some of the perks for parents seem to some of the downfalls to the teen. Not to be a downer though. Lol. It just that as a teen I wanted to be a part of groups, I wanted to be dating…just didn’t know how. The driving was not an issue as I still cannot stand driving so I didn’t drive until after age 18. I only cared about fashion because it seemed to be “how to fit in” but I sure love comfy clothes. It sounds like you have a wonderful daughter and its always good to think about the positives, just wanted to share my two cents :)
Thanks so much for sharing Gretchen. It has to be hard to want so much to fit in. My daughter does not have as much social awareness as it sounds like you have so she is more comfortable wearing her comfy clothes and I don’t think that she will ever drive. I love hearing your perspective, thanks for sharing.
Jessica recently posted..Contract Revision
I love this. You’ve given me something to look forward to with my boys. So glad to know you.
Alysia recently posted..All Star
sweet post, Jess.
Jim W recently posted..The Benefit of the Doubt
I LOVE this. I have an 8 year old son who is also on the Autism Spectrum and can relate to almost everything on this list, especially #10. My son always has, and always will look at the world with very different, very kind eyes. He is my little miracle, though it can be very challenging, you are right, I have far more to learn from him than he does of me.
Kickass post, Jess.
Wow.. I am a proud Auntie of twin boys age 4, one is Autistic, and each of them is so loving and thoughtful and caring. I often think of their future together and the great things I believe they can accomplish together! The challenges they face during their lives will most surely create a force to be reckoned with. It is nice to have some reinforcement in this way of thinking from someone who has been experiencing it first hand.
“someone forgot the melatonin” – Bwahaha! SO true! Love this list!
A very sweet and touching post. My friend’s sister have autism and she is the 2nd sweetest little girl I know (of course she’s only second to my daughter). Most of the people are blind or too narrow minded that when they see a person who is different, they just started assuming that they’re too weird there’s nothing good about them. While the fact is, it’s the opposite. Special people will never disappoint us and can make us enjoy our life. I can’t get the right words but I think (and I hope) most of you understand what I’m trying to say. This blog post is great. God bless to you and your daughter mommy Jessica.
Child Psychologist Adelaide recently posted..Plan for better grades in 2013
I love this and totally get it!
Joy recently posted..We missed it by THAT much!
My middle child was recently diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, and found your post to be wonderfully positive. I agree with what you have written, especially when curfew is and what he is thinking. He doesn’t care about clothes, fashion, and what’s cool (yet) either. To see these as positive definitely helps put everything into perspective and see what wonderful children they truly are. To see the world through their eyes is remarkable!
Great post and so true! I have a 20 year old aspie son. And he still tries to sit in my lap!
Kristy recently posted..University Bookstore Conspiracy
I can so relate to the nice things about having a “non-typical” teenager! I have a 15 year old and an 11 yr old (both boys) who have Aspergers. My 15 yr old is so kind and sweet (except when his younger brothers are bugging him and he wants to play his video games). He’s got a small group of nice friends who get together to play video games, I don’t have to worry about them drinking, looking at porn, drugs, sneaking in girls, etc. because they are simply not interested in anything other than their video games, and Nerf guns! They would rather have Doritos and Mountain Dew. Last weekend, I think he was feeling a little blue, and he laid down on the couch and put his head in my lap. He just needed some “mom connection”. He’s 6’1″, 240 lbs and wanted a snuggle. He’s like a big bear cub. My 11 yr old son is going to be different – he’s also high functioning, but has the iPod plugged in constantly, loves cologne and beauty products for hair and skin, likes to dress nicely, and the girls sit with him at lunch, because he’s really cute. He also is extremely loving, gives hugs and kisses freely, and desperately wants to fit in and have friends to hang with. Although their younger years were really hard, and required tons of therapy, TSS, and creative parenting, I am really pleased with how my boys are maturing. I think so many “normal” teenagers are growing up way too fast.
I have definitely learned to see the positive side of autism. I think there is enough awareness about the struggles, so it always makes me smile when someone can express the perks. Love this post, Jess
Courtney recently posted..Praying for the Right Words
Somehow I missed you were on Scary Mommy! What a beautiful post. I love that my almost 7yo daughter still holds my hand, and I’ll be so sad on the day she doesn’t want to anymore…
JD Bailey @ Honest Mom recently posted..Blog Tip Friday : The Importance of Knowing Why You Blog
Thank you for this! It is all true! I have a son who is 14 (and who repeatedly asks me when is he going to get a drivers license – ummmmmm never!), but outside he occasional violent, fear for my life meltdown, he is kind, funny, helpful and a joy to be around!