The Six Stages of Being on Bed Rest

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bedrest

Whenever I exchange pregnancy war stories with someone, (also known as the Mommy Friend First Date script), there is a mixed reaction when I reveal that I spent the last two months of my pregnancy on bed rest. Some women are envious, others think lying down 24/7 is a particular brand of torture. Truth is, it’s both.

1. Excitement (Week 1). You’re tired, your ankles are swollen and your lower back hurts. Having a doctored ordered excuse to kick up your heels and let your partner take full control of the cleaning/cooking/pets and kids sounds pretty freaking good right now. You can stop feeling guilty about not doing that pregnancy yoga DVD, and you’ll finally get to watch Breaking Bad again from the beginning.This is going to be awesome.

2. Entitlement(Week 1-2). Bed rest is like a fabulous extended spa weekend. You feel like a celebrity as friends and family come to visit you on the regular, bearing gifts of pretty pajama sets, yummy snacks and offering to paint your toe nails. You mention getting a bell to ring for summoning your husband. He laughs this off as a joke. You were not kidding.

3. Boredom(Week 2-3). You’ve reached the end of the internet, and there’s nothing good left on Netflix. All your admirers have gone back to their own lives, so you turn to online pregnancy forums seeking companionship. This is a bad idea, as you inevitably get into an argument on the comments board about vaccinations/breastfeeding/cosleeping and get all worked up with no one to vent to. Eating while laying on your side causes horrible heartburn, so not even snacking brings you joy. You begin to count down the minutes to your hourly potty break, just to have something to do. Getting wheeled into the doctor’s office for your weekly visit may result in hysterical crying as you are THAT excited to breathe fresh air and interact with other humans.

The following stages can strike at any time after week 3, may happen simultaneously and will continue until the birth:

4. Panic. The baby is coming, and you feel like you should be doing things to prepare, like painting the nursery, washing clothes or packing a hospital bag. Since you can’t, you act like a dictator by ordering people around and get frustrated when they aren’t done exactly how you wanted. You read everything you can find on the internet about bedrest, which ranges from articles that say bedrest does nothing to nightmares full of bedrest pregnancies gone horribly wrong.

5. Pain. Everything aches. Your left hip is painful enough to evoke frequent tears from constantly laying on it. Oddly, this will be more painful at night than during the day, making you reverse your sleep cycle. Now you lay awake all night thinking of all the things that could go wrong during the birth. You constantly wake your partner with your shifting around, or you wake them intentionally to share your anxieties. Learning to adjust to little or no sleep is a great skill for new parents to have, so you tell yourself you’re just training for life post baby.

6. Longing. Similar to the “birth amnesia” phenomenon, post birth, you will forget the icky bits of being bed logged. Inevitably, one day when your toddler is fussy, or running circles around you while you chase his naked butt with a diaper, you will think back and wish for just one more day when you could lie around with zero guilt and no responsibilities.

Comments

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  1. 1

    Bethany Ramos says

    Megan, this post is great! I’m happy I never had to be on bed rest because I probably wouldn’t have handled it as gracefully as you. :-) I remember feeling stir crazy when my midwife told me to lay in bed for 24 hours after having a baby, and I didn’t even want to do that.

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  2. 2

    says

    YES and it was sucktastic… I was running an in-home daycare. I was *supposed* to be on for almost 4 months… and couldn’t be, because SOMEONE had to keep running my daycare. We depended on my income. (My ex was working, but we were young and just starting out).

    It’s a wonder my doc didn’t have a nervous breakdown. lol All she did was yell at me for not following her rules. She saw me through two pregnancies, though, and we all made it. Fun times.

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  3. 7

    says

    This is totally on point! I was on bedrest from week 24 with my daughter, and it SUCKED! I hated it so bad. I can’t imagine how horrible it would have been if I’d needed it for my younger ones.

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  4. 8

    Tonya says

    Bed rest was the worse. I had the joy on still trying to take care of a 3yo while on bed rest. My husband had just started a new job and couldn’t take anytime off. I wish I had been lucky enough to have had a support system.

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  5. 11

    says

    Bed rest at 26weeks until 35weeks when my son was born. It was not 1 bit of fun especially having a 3yr old and 18month old at home. My husband was scared to come home everyday not knowing what the house would be like! The huge thing I was taught though was that I had a huge support system I didn’t even realize. When they could family and friends helped with child care, shopping, cleaning, and cooking. 5 years later and I’m still thankful and always try to pay it forward!

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  6. 18

    says

    SOO true! I was so miserable the day before I was put on bed rest and in so much pain ( hadn’t really thought about this being contractions) that I even said I would welcome it. 4 weeks in I was begging for it to end. 11 weeks later after 3 hospital stays I had a healthy full term – induced! Baby!

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  7. 19

    says

    Bedrest is awful! I was on bedrest with my youngest, and since I have absolutely no support system here and my husband is a workaholic/obsessive gamer (totally odd combination) my two oldest had to be sent to stay with their grandparents because I just couldn’t keep up with a hyperactive autistic 3 yr old and a 2 year old who followed along and does the exact same thing two seconds later! Now, with my youngest quickly approaching 1, I often wish for the days when I could just lounge around and watch That 70′s Show all day long! I still remember the moment about a week after I had my baby, when my hips finally pulled back together though. Intense pain followed by intense relief! Lol!

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  8. 21

    says

    OMG are you freaking kidding me???? I was put on bed rest with my first because of heavy bleeding, and there were no visits, no presents of cute pj sets, and no snacks. I was miserable and worried, so it’s not like I am sad that I didn’t get those things.

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  9. 22

    says

    With both of my pregnancies I had high blood pressure, so high during the 2nd one that the doc thought I was going to have a stroke if I stepped a foot outside the hospital. They wanted to do an amnio on me on my 23 birthday to see if my daughter’s lungs were developed enough to go ahead and deliver her because of the hbp, the stress tests showed that my hbp was not affecting my daughter so I rejected the amnio and told them if she’s not being harmed I’d prefer her to stay in until term or she’s ready (I was 36 weeks along anyway what’s 4 more weeks of pain and misery if it means a happy healthy baby). So they put me in a strict diet and bed rest. I didn’t make it through the first day before taking care of my eldest (11 months old at the time) or cleaning, 3 days later my baby broke my water. She was a tad early but happy and healthy. I could do 4 weeks of bed rest on my head now that they are 4 and 3.

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  10. 23

    says

    Minus step two and it’s all spot on. Since hubby was deployed and I had no friends or family nearby, I just went straight into the boredom part. I can say I’ve seen about 90% of what Netflix has to offer and my friends who were also pregnant at the same time were always saying how lucky I was to do nothing while they were out baby clothes shopping and getting foot rubs from their hubby. I wanted to kick them. HARD. That’s before you incorporate the three appointments a week (each was 100 miles round trip since that was the closest OB with the care required) to monitor baby due to pregnancy complications at 25 weeks. Every week up until 42 weeks when I was induced. Yeah, it was a total blast.

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  11. 24

    says

    I got bed rested on my last two pregnancies. From 27 weeks to 36 weeks with my second and from 13 weeks to 34 weeks with my third. Both were miserable since my now ex husband wouldn’t do anything to help out. Thankfully family and friends were able to pitch in. I was so bored and hated the helpless feeling.

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