Women You’ll See At Every Weight Watchers Meeting

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Walking into a Weight Watchers meeting is like coming home. In an utterly pathetic way. My grandmother was a Weight Watchers member. My mom has been a Weight Watchers member. My aunts. My cousins. It’s in my blood, it seems. Last week, when I walked into the door for the umpteenth time it felt like every other meeting I’d ever been to. No matter what the city, the year or the program, there is the exact same mix of women to be found at the local Weight Watchers meeting…

1. The nutty woman who, despite below freezing temperatures, shows up to weigh in every week wearing spandex running shorts a skimpy tank top and not a single accessory.

2. The bride-to-be who will rock that wedding gown, dammit. Only to re-gain every pound she loses.

3. The frazzled new mom bouncing a crying baby, reeking of spit-up and sporting milk stains on her shirt.

4. The enthusiastic new member who excitedly purchases the scale, the cookbooks and countless boxes of Two Point Bars, diving into three of them mid-meeting.

5. The obese woman who has never lost a pound, yet obnoxiously hijacks every meeting with her tips and tricks.

6. The hot young bitch who has five pounds to lose so she can wear her size 2 designer jeans.

7. The loud old lady crew who’ve been battling their mid-sections for 50 years and have imaginary plaques adorning their front row seats.

8. The annoying middle-aged woman who yells out every minor accomplishment she has to collect as many cheap little gold stars as possible.

9. The mother with the pre-teen daughter who is torn between gratitude and mortification.

10. The lone man who shuffles awkwardly and thinks that the only place he’d fit in less would be a Loehmann’s dressing room.

And, me. Again.

Comments

  1. 2

    meg says

    oh dear god, did you nail it! When I go I play a little mind game– I don’t have to stay for the meeting and deal with all that as long as I lose something. Even 0.2 will do. Serious motivation!

  2. 3

    Momlissa says

    Oh boy, you *nailed* it! I’m not sure why I put myself through the torture of the meeting, but it does help me, despite the predictability of its members. I now go to a meeting that is specialized for those who have 50+ lbs to lose and it’s a little better. I was that girl trying to rock her wedding gown & the mom with a baby (ies) in the stroller, so I always cut them some slack. lol. But the ones who think they are, in fact, the leader, cause my eyes to roll into the back of my head and pull out my smartphone.

  3. 5

    Renegades says

    Oh my gosh this is so so funny. Don’t ya just hate or strongly dislike would possibly be a nicer way of saying the women who are there to lose 5 pounds!

    Great post!

  4. 6

    Amanda says

    I went to one WW meeting after I had my twin an quickly decided that I needed to find another weight loss method. I know that WW is effective, but I can’t handle a group like that. It seemed a bit like AA to me. Hi, my name is Amanda, and it’s been 15 minutes since I had chocolate. No thanks.

    Good luck with the WW!

  5. 10

    Krista says

    That’s eerie. Seriously- you summed up every meeting I’ve ever been to!!

    What do you think of the new plan? I’ve heard mixed things and am debating joining.

    • 11

      Scary Mommy says

      I really like it, actually. I’ve heard it’s been tough for people who knew and loved the old plan, but I like it much better. It’s encouraging me to eat lots more fruit and veggies and not as much low-point processed crap. That was my problem with the other plan– why would I eat a banana if I could have a 2 point chocolate bar instead? This is better.

      • 12

        Sheri says

        I like it, too, although it seems I’m eating a ton more food, and some day struggling to make all my points. I didn’t lose my first week, but didn’t gain, either. But I was on my period, so maybe that had something to do with it. Hopefully I’ll see results this week.

      • 13

        momlissa says

        I agree. I had my doubts about the new plan and it’s taken some adjusting for me. I have done the program with success, so it’s hard for me to change (plus, I’m stubborn) but it really does force you to eat healthier as we all know that it was possible to lose weight before on WW without eating healthy. And by making veggies and fruits zero points, that has made me want to eat them more, which I imagine is why they did it. I did have the highest 1 week lb loss this first week on the plan, so I’m definitely impressed.

  6. 14

    Julie says

    Ha ha this made me giggle! Hi I’m the new mummy with milk stains and smell of baby sick! I did lose 3stones on WW before I became pregnant and have put it all back on during pregnancy and since giving birth! Am waiting for my 6wk check up then gonna re join!

  7. 15

    brandy says

    I don’t understand the hype to ww. My parents did it and lost weight but the minute they stopped they put the weight back on ….so how is it any diff than any other diet plan? I don’t see the point in throwing away hard earned money on just another diet fad.

    • 16

      Scary Mommy says

      I actually think it’s the only healthy plan out there. Food-wise, it’s gimmick free. You lose the weight and then join the maintenance program (free) to stay on track. That said, nothing is easy and I’ve never been dedicated enough to make it that far. Hopefully this time.

    • 17

      Jennifer says

      Well it is supposed to teach you how to eat. If you don’t continue to follow the principles then of course you are going to gain the weight back. And I say that from total experience.

      • 18

        Mandyland says

        I know it really helped me be more cognizant of how MUCH I was eating. I still remember the first time I measured out my morning cereal. I realized that even though I was eating healthy, high fiber cereal, I was eating four servings.

  8. 20

    Sheri says

    Didn’t see myself there – the middle-aged mom who is back yet again because she thought she could do it on her own, but gained 25 pounds instead.

    • 26

      Jennifer says

      Yes, the “please God let me get through this meeting so I can go home and cook dinner for my kids and do the laundry and get baths over with and tuck everyone in so I can have a cookie” group. That’s the group you call “normal”.

      • 27

        Sheri says

        EXACTLY. Except my kids are older, so I don’t have to deal with the baths and bedtime routine anymore. Now it’s them showering and putting themselves to bed – bliss! Of course, they go to bed later, so I get my snack later.

      • 28

        Mandyland says

        That’s my group too! The only reason I stay for the meetings is because I’m pretending I’m at a retreat. Sometimes I have to pretend very, very hard.

        • 29

          Joy says

          that’s me too! And I stay for the meeting because it’s 1 hour I get to have something close to “me-time”. A little break from the cooking, dishes, cleaning up toys….and at the same time I might find about some lower point groceries.

  9. 30

    Sunday says

    I desperately need to start going to meetings again. I lost quite a bit of weight with WW before I had kids and if I did it once I can do it again, right? RIGHT?!

  10. 33

    myevil3yearold says

    Eerie…. I hve only been to one meeting and tose same exact people were there! Was that you in the second row?

  11. 34

    Lady of the House says

    Funny! You forgot the leader. You could do a whole post on the different types of leaders. I’d do it but I’m too busy applying new math to this jar of Nutella.

    • 35

      ApparentlyP says

      I was going to say the leader too! And I totally judge them if they aren’t “thin” enough in my mind to be a leader!

      • 36

        Scary Mommy says

        So do I! The last meeting I was at was hosted by a woman at least 30 pounds overweight. But, apparently, she used to weigh over 250, so I suppose she does know something. It’s like the chunky yoga instructor-huh?

        • 37

          Jenn says

          That’s my leader, entirely….somehow not so motivational when the leader clearly weighs more than you. Thank goodness she has a sense of humor – but its hard to take someone seriously when they say “I eat as many zero points as I can all day so I can have a lager or two or three when I get home!!!”

          WW in the UK seems like a different beast, as they are addicted to… sausages here. Um, yeah.

  12. 38

    jill says

    I’m deciding whether I want to re-embark on a WW journey or try something more structured. But you’re right, the familiarity is comforting. I guess… ;)

  13. 39

    Katie Reed says

    I’m trying to figure out how long after having my baby (who will be here in about 3 weeks! EEP!) it’ll be before I can join a WW group. I’ve never been a group sort of gal, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I’m going to be dying for a little adult interaction quite soon, as well as some proper motivation for losing the baby weight. Even if it comes from a group of obnoxious stereotypes (of which, do doubt, I’ll be #3!).

    • 40

      Maegan says

      There is no wrong time to start eating better. ;) It’s the exercise you’ll want to talk to your medical provider about. That Denise Austin chick? Back to a 6-pack inside of 6 weeks, the looney bitch. ;)

      After you give birth, you have a dinner plate sized WOUND inside your body…it does need to take time to heal before you get into rigorous exercises…

      • 41

        Katie Reed says

        Good points. :) I am hoping that I’ll be able to exercise after about 6 weeks, which will give me time to heal AND allow me to bond with the baby. But maybe I’m being unrealistic! At least I’ll be able to get the him in his stroller and go for walks in the short term, which surely will help. The concern I have is that i’ll be breastfeeding exclusively for at least a year. I wonder if WW caters for BFing mothers who apparently need extra calories to produce milk?

        • 43

          Melissa says

          I’m not sure with the new plan, but with the old plan breasfeeding moms got extra points. I started WW when my 2nd baby was about 4 weeks old.

          • 44

            Melissa says

            I should mention that she is now 18 months old and I’m still trying to lose the weight. Well, not really trying, but really thinking about it ;)

  14. 45

    Allison @ Motherhood, WTF? says

    What about the lifers? You know, the women who have maintained their goal weight and now are the honors students. The meetings seem to be the epicenter of their social lives and they’re bffs with the leader. WW is their religion. Damn, I’m jealous of the lifers…

    • 46

      Allie says

      I was going to mention the lifers too! So smug, tell how they go on a weeklong trip to the Bahamas and lose 5 lbs, bring in 8x10s of their old selves, fawn over the leader as if she were Oprah… :)

  15. 48

    Vicarious Chelsea says

    The loudtalkers. OH the loudtalkers… I find myself sitting in front of them all the time. The talk. Loud. About everything. All. The. Effing. Time.
    Despite them, I heart WW!

    • 49

      Joy says

      I just joined (again) 2 weeks ago. The loud talkers actually stayed during the Getting Started meeting to continue their conversation the entire time. Even with all the quick glances back from everyone, they didn’t even try to talk quietly!

  16. 50

    Loukia says

    I used to take off my necklace and watch and bracelet, even the elastic from my hair, to get weighed! As soon as I am back from Florida, I’m starting WW again! Right now I’m suffering a diet of no carbs, since I packed on a few over the holidays.

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