Walking into a Weight Watchers meeting is like coming home. In an utterly pathetic way. My grandmother was a Weight Watchers member. My mom has been a Weight Watchers member. My aunts. My cousins. It’s in my blood, it seems. Last week, when I walked into the door for the umpteenth time it felt like every other meeting I’d ever been to. No matter what the city, the year or the program, there is the exact same mix of women to be found at the local Weight Watchers meeting. And, not surprisingly, I find myself among them once again…
1. The nutty woman who, despite below freezing temperatures, shows up to weigh in every week wearing spandex running shorts a skimpy tank top and not a single accessory.
2. The bride-to-be who will rock that wedding gown, dammit. Only to re-gain every pound she loses.
3. The frazzled new mom bouncing a crying baby, reeking of spit-up and sporting milk stains on her shirt.
4. The enthusiastic new member who excitedly purchases the scale, the cookbooks and countless boxes of Two Point Bars, diving into three of them mid-meeting.
5. The obese woman who has never lost a pound, yet obnoxiously hijacks every meeting with her tips and tricks.
6. The hot young bitch who has five pounds to lose so she can wear her size 2 designer jeans.
7. The loud old lady crew who’ve been battling their mid-sections for 50 years and have imaginary plaques adorning their front row seats.
8. The annoying middle-aged woman who yells out every minor accomplishment she has to collect as many cheap little gold stars as possible.
9. The mother with the pre-teen daughter who is torn between gratitude and mortification.
10. The lone man who shuffles awkwardly and thinks that the only place he’d fit in less would be a Loehmann’s dressing room.
Did I miss anyone?
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{ 145 comments… read them below or add one }
I need to go to one ASAP. Seriously. Must. Go. Soon!
Life with Kaishon recently posted..Life is beautiful
oh dear god, did you nail it! When I go I play a little mind game– I don’t have to stay for the meeting and deal with all that as long as I lose something. Even 0.2 will do. Serious motivation!
meg recently posted..Positive Power- Kicking and Dreaming
Oh boy, you *nailed* it! I’m not sure why I put myself through the torture of the meeting, but it does help me, despite the predictability of its members. I now go to a meeting that is specialized for those who have 50+ lbs to lose and it’s a little better. I was that girl trying to rock her wedding gown & the mom with a baby (ies) in the stroller, so I always cut them some slack. lol. But the ones who think they are, in fact, the leader, cause my eyes to roll into the back of my head and pull out my smartphone.
Momlissa recently posted..First Weigh in & Email to Teacher
Ha! I always pull out my smartphone after something like that too! lol
Oh my gosh this is so so funny. Don’t ya just hate or strongly dislike would possibly be a nicer way of saying the women who are there to lose 5 pounds!
Great post!
Renegades recently posted..PINT
I went to one WW meeting after I had my twin an quickly decided that I needed to find another weight loss method. I know that WW is effective, but I can’t handle a group like that. It seemed a bit like AA to me. Hi, my name is Amanda, and it’s been 15 minutes since I had chocolate. No thanks.
Good luck with the WW!
Amanda recently posted..Doesn’t he know who’s boss
hahahahaha
Oops. I recognized myself in description # 6.
Lynn from For Love or Funny recently posted..That funky green cloud is my breath
Sounds very intrigueing, but I think I will stick to good old Montignac.
Didn’t see myself there – the middle-aged mom who is back yet again because she thought she could do it on her own, but gained 25 pounds instead.
Sheri recently posted..Writing News!
You are the majority. The everyone else.
Sheri, Now you’re talking my language (drawing little air hearts), wanna go out for coffee and carbs? :)
That’s me! That’s me too! Wanna form a club?
Varda (SquashedMom) recently posted..Over Ouch! at Hopeful Parents Today Ouch!
I’m all about the carbs and coffee club!
Sheri recently posted..Writing News!
I am that guy in the room listening to all the stories. Too funny!!
Yes, the “please God let me get through this meeting so I can go home and cook dinner for my kids and do the laundry and get baths over with and tuck everyone in so I can have a cookie” group. That’s the group you call “normal”.
Jennifer recently posted..The magic bracelet and indoor rainbows
EXACTLY. Except my kids are older, so I don’t have to deal with the baths and bedtime routine anymore. Now it’s them showering and putting themselves to bed – bliss! Of course, they go to bed later, so I get my snack later.
Sheri recently posted..Writing News!
That’s my group too! The only reason I stay for the meetings is because I’m pretending I’m at a retreat. Sometimes I have to pretend very, very hard.
Mandyland recently posted..Itchy Fingers
that’s me too! And I stay for the meeting because it’s 1 hour I get to have something close to “me-time”. A little break from the cooking, dishes, cleaning up toys….and at the same time I might find about some lower point groceries.
That’s eerie. Seriously- you summed up every meeting I’ve ever been to!!
What do you think of the new plan? I’ve heard mixed things and am debating joining.
I really like it, actually. I’ve heard it’s been tough for people who knew and loved the old plan, but I like it much better. It’s encouraging me to eat lots more fruit and veggies and not as much low-point processed crap. That was my problem with the other plan– why would I eat a banana if I could have a 2 point chocolate bar instead? This is better.
I like it, too, although it seems I’m eating a ton more food, and some day struggling to make all my points. I didn’t lose my first week, but didn’t gain, either. But I was on my period, so maybe that had something to do with it. Hopefully I’ll see results this week.
Sheri recently posted..Writing News!
I agree. I had my doubts about the new plan and it’s taken some adjusting for me. I have done the program with success, so it’s hard for me to change (plus, I’m stubborn) but it really does force you to eat healthier as we all know that it was possible to lose weight before on WW without eating healthy. And by making veggies and fruits zero points, that has made me want to eat them more, which I imagine is why they did it. I did have the highest 1 week lb loss this first week on the plan, so I’m definitely impressed.
I desperately need to start going to meetings again. I lost quite a bit of weight with WW before I had kids and if I did it once I can do it again, right? RIGHT?!
Sunday recently posted..Life is a risk
RIGHT.
What meeting do you go to? Maybe we could go together?! Misery loves company, you know?!
Sunday recently posted..Life is a risk
Eerie…. I hve only been to one meeting and tose same exact people were there! Was that you in the second row?
myevil3yearold recently posted..Why Did You Let that Cow Lick Me
Funny! You forgot the leader. You could do a whole post on the different types of leaders. I’d do it but I’m too busy applying new math to this jar of Nutella.
I was going to say the leader too! And I totally judge them if they aren’t “thin” enough in my mind to be a leader!
ApparentlyP recently posted..First Monday of the New Year
So do I! The last meeting I was at was hosted by a woman at least 30 pounds overweight. But, apparently, she used to weigh over 250, so I suppose she does know something. It’s like the chunky yoga instructor-huh?
That’s my leader, entirely….somehow not so motivational when the leader clearly weighs more than you. Thank goodness she has a sense of humor – but its hard to take someone seriously when they say “I eat as many zero points as I can all day so I can have a lager or two or three when I get home!!!”
WW in the UK seems like a different beast, as they are addicted to… sausages here. Um, yeah.
Jenn recently posted..Talking to Dogs
I’m deciding whether I want to re-embark on a WW journey or try something more structured. But you’re right, the familiarity is comforting. I guess… ;)
Ha ha this made me giggle! Hi I’m the new mummy with milk stains and smell of baby sick! I did lose 3stones on WW before I became pregnant and have put it all back on during pregnancy and since giving birth! Am waiting for my 6wk check up then gonna re join!
I don’t understand the hype to ww. My parents did it and lost weight but the minute they stopped they put the weight back on ….so how is it any diff than any other diet plan? I don’t see the point in throwing away hard earned money on just another diet fad.
I actually think it’s the only healthy plan out there. Food-wise, it’s gimmick free. You lose the weight and then join the maintenance program (free) to stay on track. That said, nothing is easy and I’ve never been dedicated enough to make it that far. Hopefully this time.
Well it is supposed to teach you how to eat. If you don’t continue to follow the principles then of course you are going to gain the weight back. And I say that from total experience.
Jennifer recently posted..The magic bracelet and indoor rainbows
I know it really helped me be more cognizant of how MUCH I was eating. I still remember the first time I measured out my morning cereal. I realized that even though I was eating healthy, high fiber cereal, I was eating four servings.
Mandyland recently posted..Itchy Fingers
I’m trying to figure out how long after having my baby (who will be here in about 3 weeks! EEP!) it’ll be before I can join a WW group. I’ve never been a group sort of gal, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I’m going to be dying for a little adult interaction quite soon, as well as some proper motivation for losing the baby weight. Even if it comes from a group of obnoxious stereotypes (of which, do doubt, I’ll be #3!).
There is no wrong time to start eating better. ;) It’s the exercise you’ll want to talk to your medical provider about. That Denise Austin chick? Back to a 6-pack inside of 6 weeks, the looney bitch. ;)
After you give birth, you have a dinner plate sized WOUND inside your body…it does need to take time to heal before you get into rigorous exercises…
Maegan recently posted..Kitchen inspiration
Good points. :) I am hoping that I’ll be able to exercise after about 6 weeks, which will give me time to heal AND allow me to bond with the baby. But maybe I’m being unrealistic! At least I’ll be able to get the him in his stroller and go for walks in the short term, which surely will help. The concern I have is that i’ll be breastfeeding exclusively for at least a year. I wonder if WW caters for BFing mothers who apparently need extra calories to produce milk?
I do believe they take that into consideration… :)
Maegan recently posted..Kitchen inspiration
I’m not sure with the new plan, but with the old plan breasfeeding moms got extra points. I started WW when my 2nd baby was about 4 weeks old.
I should mention that she is now 18 months old and I’m still trying to lose the weight. Well, not really trying, but really thinking about it ;)
SO incredibly true!!!!
What about the lifers? You know, the women who have maintained their goal weight and now are the honors students. The meetings seem to be the epicenter of their social lives and they’re bffs with the leader. WW is their religion. Damn, I’m jealous of the lifers…
Allison @ Motherhood, WTF? recently posted..Anything for Sleep!
I was going to mention the lifers too! So smug, tell how they go on a weeklong trip to the Bahamas and lose 5 lbs, bring in 8x10s of their old selves, fawn over the leader as if she were Oprah… :)
Allie recently posted..Weight Watchers Update & NYE Recipes
Oh, YES! How could I leave them out?
The loudtalkers. OH the loudtalkers… I find myself sitting in front of them all the time. The talk. Loud. About everything. All. The. Effing. Time.
Despite them, I heart WW!
I just joined (again) 2 weeks ago. The loud talkers actually stayed during the Getting Started meeting to continue their conversation the entire time. Even with all the quick glances back from everyone, they didn’t even try to talk quietly!
I used to take off my necklace and watch and bracelet, even the elastic from my hair, to get weighed! As soon as I am back from Florida, I’m starting WW again! Right now I’m suffering a diet of no carbs, since I packed on a few over the holidays.
I tried Weight Watchers years ago. I lost $00. (not a good fit for me, I guess)
Joanie recently posted..Six Word Saturday
Number 3.
You have every one 100% right… but is it bad that I have been #4 every time I join? lol I always feel if I stock up on those 2pt bars, Im a shoe in for losing big.
My favorites on this list though are the 1 lone guy and the sticker-whore… ok thats not what you called her, but thats what Im calling her… cause .5 lbs does not call for a shout out and sticker.
She’s totally the Sticker Whore. I love that.
Such great timing. I am thinking of going today for the first time in many, many years. I hear such good buzz about the new program. But, oh, how I hate counting points.
If you have a smart phone, the etools makes is SO much easier. Or, just the on-line tracking, even. I could never get myself to write things out, but since I’m on-line constantly anyway, I can do it. (So far)
I offered to go to a WW meeting to support a friend once (okay–more like to drag her there kicking and screaming so I would no longer have to listen to her bitch about wanting to go but not having the will power to walk in).
She basically told me I would be a #6 and would most likely be chased out the door while being pelted with snack bars.
I wasn’t sure if she loved me or hated me at that moment–probably both. C’est la vie.
Vinobaby recently posted..Snooki Writes a Booki-Not A Shore Thing
Omg..Seriously dead on! Too funny! I quit WW right now…but once I had a weak moment and went to Tim Hortons for a donut and turned around and bumped into the WW check in lady…..totally busted! Talk about quilt! I’m sure she was there for the coffee not a donut…bitch!
Kathy recently posted..Out for a drive
OMG, I got a good laugh out of this today. I just rejoined WW for the bajillionth time, but I refused to sign up for the meetings plan. I am going the online route this time. I just can’t stand going to those meetings and listening to the perky people and the perky leader, and of course, I was the sucker that bought all the crap each week… so I needed to stay away!! Far, far away!
(And I LURVE the new plan, btw!)
Sincerely, Jenni recently posted..Torn
I am trying to figure out which one I am…
The one in the back trying to figure out how I can live on strawberries, so I have enough points for the Blue Moon needed to get my through my diet.
Thanks for post, and I am glad I am not the only one that ventured back to WW last week.
Never been to one, but this is what I have always imagined….Now you just brought my imagination to live. I dont think I will ever join weight watchers, its one of those things that I think wastes money and time. Or maybe its because I am 5’2 and 123lbs with a big big tummy from childbirth.
I already have a meeting circled on my calendar for 6 weeks after the birth.
And I plan on being this character: The nursing mother that everyone secretly loathes because she gets 1,000 extra points.
Great post!!!!
Jessica McFadden – A Parent in Silver Spring recently posted..UPDATED WITH LOTS MORE- January Preschool & Elementary Open Houses
You nailed it! Great post!
Mary Phillips recently posted..Digital Black and White – the basics
The cake hater. Usually a middle aged office worker, she loudly complains about the ubiquitous presence of sweets in her office, and how much she hates Birthday Cake.
I hate her.
You forgot the one who has to go pee immediately before weighing in, and then removes all jewelry, glasses, contact lenses, and blows her nose to ensure maximum ounce lossage. :) Sometimes these will actually ask someone to hold up a coat around them so they can strip down even further.
I haven’t been to meetings in years, but I re-joined the online program last month, right after they rolled out Points Plus. I lost over 80 pounds on WW between my 2 pregnancies, and baby number 2 is 9 months old now, so I’ve got to get back on track. Good luck to you!
Oh yeah, that’s me -run to the bathroom first thing. lol. I had a friend who would only weigh in on a certain scale because she was convinced the others were off. lol.
momlissa recently posted..First Weigh in & Email to Teacher
OMG you totally nailed it. Although in NYC we also have our obligatory flamboyant gay man and woman-of-a-certain-age dressed to the nines sporting big rocks and shoulder-width hat.
I lost 17 evil twin pregnancy pounds two years ago at WW & then have slowly gained it all back. Silly me – I had thought it was gone forever and had given away all my favorite fat clothes. (Apply palm to forehead.)
Varda (SquashedMom) recently posted..Over Ouch! at Hopeful Parents Today Ouch!
This is SPOT ON! I remember going to Weight Watchers in high school with my mom…all of those people were at the meetings for sure.
The Mommyologist recently posted..I Fell Off The Wagon
Amazing…I have been to Weight Watchers so many times…first with my mom and the last time with my 16 year old daughter. I no longer go and for some reason, in my 50′s I finally got control ofmthe entire situation and really don’t even diet anymore. I always love the truly overweight people with the “how to” tips.
Reminds me of a conversation between my husbands mom, aunt, and grandmother arguing about health and diets…all of them obese. Good times!
I’m with Jessica! I won’t be back on until May, but my motivation is going to be the extra nursing points! lol
I’m excited to see how the new plan works. My mother in law seems to really like it. I’m like whoever said why eat a banana, when I can have a 2-point chocolate bar instead. I’m not looking forward to that much discipline with so little sleep though. ugh.
So which one are you?
Mama Kat recently posted..Because It Just Doesn’t Happen Enough
The bitch in the back judging everyone. Obviously.
Haha. Clearly. I think you fall into the “doesn’t really need to be there” category as well. But hey, whatever floats your boat.
Mama Kat recently posted..Because It Just Doesn’t Happen Enough
Ooh my goodness. I totally was picturing everyone you were describing… they were ALL involved in my last Weight Watchers adventure. SO. FUNNY.
Julie recently posted..Would you Hold it Against Me
The woman who complains that someone in her office keeps bringing in snacks. Or cake.
I eventually left meetings and did it online. I hated meetings. they never did a thing for me. I think the program works, but not meetings. At least for me.
jodifur recently posted..Let Me Apologize Now- Im Going To Blog About Blogging
You pretty much nailed it.
Reason #248 that I loathe Weight Watchers meetings.
Blair@HeirtoBlair recently posted..I was going to name this after that Matchbox Twenty song- but honestly I don’t like Rob Thomas edit- & I effed up the title of the song anyway- so there
That’s great – and I met quite a few of those there – although I don’t think I fell in to any of those categories. I was just in a fat girl category all on my own. lol.
Lady Estrogen recently posted..Strange Addictions
I think you generally find this mix of women in any type of group. I mean, have you been to a girl scout meeting. Those chicks are nuts.
Jennifer recently posted..The magic bracelet and indoor rainbows
Nailed it. Except for the return visitor who went from a size 12 to a size 6, but still feels just as fat in a bathing suit due to bad genetics and a horrible case of cellulite. *le sigh*
Princess of Sarcasm recently posted..Dont mess with me
This was PERFECT until I read number 9. I AM number 9. Maybe I need to join…..ha
Gini recently posted..Well- hello there
Nope. I’m pretty sure you covered everyone except the awkward chubby teenager that her mother made her come because no boy will date her until she loses a few pounds.
with those descriptions, I’m pretty sure you were at my meeting! :)
LOL! That was very funny! If I ever go to a meeting I know what will be in the back of my subconscious.
After Weight Watchers
I always eat whatever
people confessed to.
This. is. awesome.
You made me laugh out loud with how perfect you got everyone. I’m so with you on thinking that this is a great healthy “diet” to most of the crap out there. I’ve also been through their doors many times but never stuck with it. I’m really hoping this is it for me too. I would rather spend my days trying to figure out how I’m going to meet Colin Firth, than trying to find the perfect cardigan to hide my embarassing gut.
Maria @BOREDmommy recently posted..Heart of Haiti
Wow- you really got it right!! That is why, this time I am doing it online where I can hide in my apartment and interact with only the people I choose- LOL!! I do like the new program, it is really encouraging me to eat more fruits and veg. Thanks for the laugh and the encouragement!!
Sandra Guirguis recently posted..Yes- I cook while listening to Akon radio- how about you
HOLY crap!!! You totally called it. I did WW back and forth at least 6 times. I lost 60 lbs on it years ago, loved me leader, but everything you say is true.
Julie {Angry Julie Monday} recently posted..Wordless Wednesday- Palm trees and a clear sky
I just wonder *which* one would I be if I went? The thought alone scares me enough to stay far, far away from those meetings. My jiggly arse cheeks thanks me for that decision.
Redneck Mommy recently posted..Fighting The Silence
Ha ha! I’ve never been to WW meeting, but now I feel like I have. I can totally picture this.
The Sweetest recently posted..Please Don’t Wake Me…
You forgot me! The WW nerd who writes down notes & the leader quote so I can blog about it later. Yeah I need to stop…can’t even believe I admitted that! LOL!
The rest are dead on! Great post!
NYCPatty recently posted..Wordless Wednesday- Snowy City
This made me chuckle because it’s SO true! My meeting has all of these people, AND a crazy leader who cusses and yells! Haha. I joined WW again, two weeks ago I lost 21 lbs a few years ago and managed to keep it off until I got pregnant. I am #3. I even bring my 4 month old daughter to meetings because my husband is in Afghanistan and I don’t want to go through all the trouble of finding a babysitter.
100% spot on!!! LOVED this! I did WW once in high school, then right after college, and one more time when I first moved to Mpls. Same, same, same.
Nina recently posted..Please Let Me Name Your Baby
You’ve made me want to join weight watchers, if only for the entertainment value!
I, too, come from a long line of WW women. My mom and grandmother were fanatics, carrying those damn scales everywhere we went, including restaurants. Epic embarrassment. I attended a few meeting as a kid and was truly scared. And the #1 reason I can’t do WW as an adult. I did attempt Jenny Craig a couple of times, the new gen private way of telling your stories of weight struggles, but the cost became too much. So now I sit in weight loss limbo……
Tara recently posted..The Checklist
I tried it last year and have found that I still can’t handle people telling me how to do things, I have serious issues with authority. *sigh* plus I see all “these people” on your list and know i must be one of them and I hate it even more. I want to look like Jennifer Hudson does now, but I do NOT want to go to those meetings.
I’m thinking WW online…..I like my message boards just fine. ;)
Kir recently posted..1- 2- 3
Oh dear, yes every meeting has these ladies.
But I finally found a meeting that isn’t like this. Most of the women above are represented. But the guy, he’s the crazy, never lose a pound, but tells long akward stories sort of guy. And 1/3 of the women have tattoos and piercings. And another 1/3 are wearing gym clothes and are actually sweaty since it is held in a YWCA. It is the best meeting I’ve ever been to.
But I once went to a meeting where the leader sang and signed ‘Wing Beneath My Wings.” My (then) husband and I were laughing so hard we were crying. We couldn’t go back after that.
Kassie recently posted..Drive Less
Your leader sang ‘Wing Beneath My Wings???” I would have DIED.
I’d be the quiet one in the back that doesn’t say much, just shows up to weigh in, listen to the talk and then slinks off without socializing. Yeah, I’m sad. ;) I haven’t been to WW for more than 10 years. I hate committment, you know committing to a meeting a week and then there’s the pressure to lose every week, the first week I don’t lose or maybe actually gain a little, I’m done.
Zeemaid recently posted..Devious- Ingenious or Just Really lazy
That’s exactly who I am. I don’t think I’ve ever spoken a word to anyone there.
I love this, It is so true. By the way I’m the Obese one who despite excersize and diet can’t lose a lb. lol. Love your sight!
There’s also the rebellious chicks in the room who go with every intention of following the program…then get really pissed off when you realize that margarita night with the girls costs you every dang point you will be allotted for the blasted year. Maybe that’s just me. I dunno know.
And while we’re at it…
Who are these leaders, anyway? Yeah, I know I’m a repeat client. I realize I haven’t reached my goal weight in say…three years. Must they look at you like you’re a fugitive? Is the eye rolling totally necessary? Must you remind me that a Bloody Mary, although made with tomato juice, is NOT a zero point food. So, I made a mistake and counted it as a tomato…with a splash of vodka. Ugh.
Just found your blog via the Baltimore Magazine and I LOVE IT. This post is perfect as I joined WW on Monday night and basically thought the same things!! Not sure who I am yet.
Thanks! Glad you found me. :)
Wow, the collection of people that frequent weight watchers sound like a depressing bunch. It doesn’t make me want to join and I would be the one that strangled the “hot young bitch who has five pounds to lose so she can wear her size 2 designer jeans.” It wouldn’t be pretty, is all I’m saying.
I still have never attended, just because everyone I know who joins..the second they stop they gain all the weight back and I hear that’s SO unhealthy. Also, I’m afraid if I loose weight in my face that all my blown up wrinkles will finally start to show. Just kidding. Man, I really need to do something. I’m getting pretty close to rock bottom.
How about the husband who is there with his wife, plays games on his phone during the entire meeting, rolls his eyes at everyone’s questions and comments, and has still managed to lose 80 pounds.
THIS is awesome! Haha. I was laughing through the whole thing…right from the “Skinny bitch”…to the ladies with front row seating!
Kelly recently posted..Wordless Wednesday- A New Addition to the Snow Day Dance!
I have never been. But have considered it. I desperately need to lose about 15 lbs. Does it really work? I would be the awkward woman thinking “oh my god what am I doing? Can I do this?”
It works. If you stick with it. Like anything, I suppose.
I just went back and have to say you’ve nailed it. Every, single woman listed was there. And I hate to admit it, but I was giving #6 the evil eye.
Mandyland recently posted..Itchy Fingers
I’m a total weight watchers vet…although I was pissed the bastards changed the program on me…forcing me to actually go back and start paying so I could get the new info…
I’m the nut…cause I’ll be damned if heavy clothes weigh me down…nary so much as a drop of water goes down my throat until weigh in…luckily though, in south FL, it’s only cold a few weeks..
Ah, the frazzled mother..yes, I’ve played that role well also..
and the skinny bitch? shouldn’t be allowed in the goddamn door…
Holly W recently posted..Dont Ask Dont Tell
I have never been to a WW meeting but after reading this post I can practically *see* these women.
I think you pretty much covered it. I lost 25 lbs on WW after my 3rd kid. Haven’t put a pound back on. It worked for me!
Embarassingly, I think I overlap a few of the characters on this list!
YES! This is exactly it! WW was a life-saver for my self-esteem after ten years of letting my fitness slide, then growing a baby who needed lots of extra padding … For some reason, the program really worked for me and I learned I COULD actually “get fit”. By the end of my WW stint, I’d get dirty looks because I had become “the hot young bitch” (well, aiming for size 6, not 2), but then I’d get up and receive my award for hitting 35 lb., 40 lb., 45 lb., and I became and inspiration because I used to be “the frazzled new mom”! Good times.
Miriam Martin recently posted..What Would Your Mother Say
I just got back from my meeting… and yes, every single person was there. Including me the person that’s supposed to be the example but sits there squirming because she’s embarrassed by the weight gain. Good times.
Julie recently posted..Not Quite Wordless Wednesday- Week 2 of dutch365project…
How about the woman who goes to the meeting, takes a look around at all those woman (who you have nailed perfectly), and thinks, “Oh my goodness, I’ve become one of the crazies,” and goes home with even lower self-esteem? The Weight Watchers principle is sound…but going to a WW meeting made me feel worse…. (Kudos to you for working on being healthy!!)
Michele recently posted..Failure to Plan on Your Part… Or How I Said No and Lived to Tell the Tale
too too true and too funny!
I think I’ve been all of those people at least once in the 8 times that I’ve gone to Weight Watchers and failed.
Okay, not the man.
jillsmo recently posted..A Dive Bar of my own
Don’t forget the Whiners Who Use WW as Perpetual Self-Help Sessions. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr. Get a therapist.
I know every single one of those women. You hit it right on the head, particularly the obnoxious woman who has never lost a pound but has no problem “helping” everyone else.
dusty earth mother recently posted..Fluffy Flakes of Evil
Just found your blog and loving it!
You are spot-on! I was a part-time WW receptionist for a couple years after getting my lifetime status and those people are in every. single. meeting. Plus, I happened to work in the same building as the “lone man” in my regular meeting, so whoo-hoo! Extra awkwardness on the elevator once or twice a week.
The absolute worst, though, is the “I must strip down completely naked in order to weigh-in and I will only be weighed on the scale on the left and then I will jump off the scale and stand over your shoulder asking ‘did i lose?, did i lose? did I lose?’ while you make your calculations” woman. I know it’s just basic addition and subtraction but when when a half-naked woman is breathing over you while you’re attempting to operate a mostly-dead calculator to calculate her weight loss/gain all the while thinking in your head, “please for the love of god, let her lose this week because if she gained, then I have to ask her ‘were you expecting that?’ to which she will answer with a 30 minute diatribe listing every bite she’s taken in the last seven days,” math is hard!!!
I still follow the WW plan online (actually loving the new plan) but I admit I haven’t been inside a meeting since I gave up the receptionist gig over a year ago.
Off to devour your archives…loved this post!
I talked my husband into going to a Weight Watchers meeting a couple years ago. He was determined to lose weight, and he needed help. He came home furious with me. It was all women except him, and one of them talked about throwing away donuts and then fishing them out of the garbage can. I encouraged him to hang out with people who ate food out of the trash???
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As an alternative, try Power90. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it’s brutal. Yes, breaking off my love affair with butter has broken my heart. And yes, my calves and abs feel like they’ve been through hell and back. But it works. And you do it in the comfort of your own home, with only a seriously cheesy (but admittedly, kinda hot) guy cheering you on via DVD.
Sigh. Middle age sucks.
Good thing I am that broke ass, that can’t afford to go and there for doesn’t waste the money (I don’t have) on a meeting!! Woot!!
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bahahahahaha
that is all!
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I went to weight watchers a few times…for a few meetings worth – about 8 years ago.
I lost a pound the first week, half a pound the second week, then nothing. Then gained a half pound, and then for the next two weeks gained a pound each week. …The woman was like, “Are you sure you understand the program?” Turns out I was knocked up. Fabulous. :D
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Wow, my comment will be number 120 – which is exactly the weight I want to get back to! I was going to try weight watchers once with my friend but she said everyone would hate me because I wasn’t big enough to be there. I’m not the “hot young bitch” but I guess only needing to lose 5 or 10lbs wasn’t enough. My friend always lost weight with them but then always got back to her old habits and put it on again. Anyway, sounds like from what I’ve heard, your list is pretty spot on!
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This made me laugh out loud! So darn true!
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–>This is why I did weightwatchers.com a few years ago and probably should do it again.
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I’ve never been to one, but I probably should.
But I gotta ask, which one of those are you?!?!
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None. I’m the miscellaneous one who’s let herself go, but is otherwise perfect in every way.
I wish I had written this post… I was cracking up last week when I re-visited WW after a several year hiatus. You illustrated my visit perfectly! It sort of feels like I am sitting in the land of weight challenged misfits but yet there is something comforting about sitting there thinking gosh, my life isn’t so bad and I sort of have it together. I lost 4.6 this week.
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Yes, you do kind of feel better about yourself there. Fat, but better. :) And, 4.6 pounds is AWESOME!
I was contemplating “joining” weight watchers. After reading this post I decided it sounds dangerously similar to my family reunions . . . needless to say–I won’t be joining! Thanks for the laugh!
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No! Stop! The memories! I did WW right after college and I do believe you have accounted for everyone. Except the instructor. Who is in her 60′s. With fake nails. And a raspy voice. And has been doing it for 20 years. Rocking the WW tote with pride and confidence.
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I love WW and this is so perfect. I have one of each at my meetings. I’m the one who wears the work out clothes, no matter how cold it is!! LOL
You forgot that the skinny bitch meets her goal weight after one freakin’ weigh-in and get the “lifetime membership” gold book. Blech.
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Oh man, I have also seen every one of those people over the years. My first WW meeting was in 1986. My last WW meeting in the same city was in 2002. SAME leader! And I’m sure she was shaking her head at me because I had kept coming back several times throughout the years, and more that 15 years later, she was greeting me by name. Funny thing is, my current goal weight, which I’m more than 100 lbs from right now, was my starting weight in 1986.
When I join, I’m the “keener.” Buy the little canvas case, the 2 point caramel bars, the dining out calorie counting books, the scale, and whatever else I can find……..
Love your blog and sense of humour. =)
I am trying to get my head around the pointsplus program. I know from experience, I have to go to meetings to stay accountable. Now that my daughter and grandson are living with me, going to meetings will give me some time that is just about me. Once I start, I am a points nazi. I count everything, measure everything, etc. One thing that will be different this time is that I have started cooking more and taking leftovers to work instead of WW or Lean Cuisine meals. I also love that with the new program, most fruits and veggies are free.
I lost interest in the meetings when one lady got a gold star for taking her WW measuring cups to the Golden Corral to stay on track. I have opted for the online and Smartphone option now. I can’t shoot anymore coffee out of my nose when someone says something like that mid swig. It hurts.
Hah! Spot on Mommy! I am the leader and I know these people. Every one of them.
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I joined a few months ago. I’m the frazzled new mom with baby in tow. Although recently, I’m the absent, unattending screw up who has gained back 5 pounds and is desperately trying to lose it again before returning to stand on that damn scale again.
Oh my goooosh.
My boyfriend has decided that he will start the program next week… well, at least I know he’ll just be shuffling awkwardly and not checking out the girl in the designer jeans. lol
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MAN THAT IS THE TRUTH!!!! I just started weight watchers and decided to do the monthly pass because I heard meetings really help. However I’m doing great with the online part and it has really helped me to eat healthier and thus loose weight, but the meetings are boring, annoying, and not for me unless I could take my knitting with me and do it there without any looks! We have all those characters!
You just described Thanksgiving with my extended family. Haha! Very funny observation!