13 Things Non-Parents Should Never Say to Parents

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We all know there are certain things we parents say that annoy the happies right out of childless people — things like how difficult life is with kids (the insinuation being that childless people have nothing to complain about) and how meaningless our lives were pre-children (I bet that makes them feel SUPER). As a former non-parent, I totally get why people without kids want us to stop it already. In reflecting on the annoying things parents should never say to non-parents, however, I also began to think about things non-parents should never say to parents. Things like these…

1. Ugh. No way. I don’t ever want to have kids. Like, ever. Well, sweet. Good to know you think our life is so disgusting/annoying/monotonous/wasted/insignificant. Perhaps you’d like to come over and murder our souls as well?

2. What do you mean you haven’t seen that movie/heard that song/checked out that new TV series yet? It’s been out for 3 weeks! Yeah. Believe it or not, we can go 3 weeks without having done laundry, let alone having taken time (and paid for a babysitter) to see a movie or go buy an album or be alone to watch a TV show. (I mean, I’m typing this as I supervise “careful cutting” and set the table for dinner.) We probably won’t see that movie/TV series or hear that song ever. IN OUR WHOLE LIVES.

3. You never call anymore. You can’t imagine how much attention it takes to keep people alive. If you turn around for, like, 5 seconds, somebody’s bound to fall down the steps or start table dancing next to the scalding stove top burner. And once we’ve put those kids to bed (which should be an Olympic event all its own, believe me), we often fall asleep on the couch, glass of Merlot barely touched. (I have a show DVRed that I swear I’ve tried to get through at least a dozen times without success.) It’s not you, it’s us. Really. And we think about calling all the time. That’s gotta count for something, right?

Related post: Talk To You in 30 Years

4. We’re having an afternoon picnic in our back yard, but it’s strictly an adult-only event. And we won’t be attending. We understand not every gathering is appropriate for children, but things like barbecues and graduation parties — especially when they’re held outdoors — are things kids could barely screw up even if they tried. (And do you even know how much babysitters cost these days? Let’s just say it ain’t like in The Babysitters Club anymore.) We promise not to bring our spawn to the next pub crawl, if you promise to lighten up a bit.

5. We’re thinking of having a baby, so we’re getting a puppy first to see if we’re cut out for the job. Bitchsaywha? Just because puppies are like babies does not mean puppies are babies. Both are needy — it’s true. Both cry when they’re hungry or need attention — also true. But similar does not mean equal. Puppies are like babies in the same way cinder blocks are like bricks of gold, kittens are like tigers, André is like Dom Pérignon, and a light sprinkle is like a monsoon. To assume raising a puppy and a child are comparable experiences is insulting in a way, not to mention indicative that you’re so not ready for a baby. Want to know what it’s really like? Come on over for a day and check it out. If you survive, you might just be cut out for the job.

6. You’re not going to start buying “mom jeans”/”dad shorts” now, are you? Only if you start buying things with “douchebag” splayed across them. Just because we’re parents doesn’t mean we’ve completely lost our pre-children identities. We’re still the same people. We just have a new found taste for “Chicks Dig Me” onesies is all. (Get it? Because new babies are like new chicks? And then there’s the whole chicks as in girls? Because stereotypically, girls like babies? So, it’s a play on words? See how they did that?)

7. It must be so relaxing to be home all day with the kids. Yes, it is. In the same way thwarting an apocalyptic alien takeover might be relaxing. It’s wonderful; don’t get me wrong. But it’s a bit much after a while. Try watching 12 hours of Dora the Explorer on repeat. It’s kinda like that.

Related post: 25 Ways You Know You’re a Stay at Home Mom

8. Don’t be so lame! You’re kid-free tonight! Light weight… Yes. Yes, we are. But tomorrow, we’re not. And tomorrow, those kids of ours will deliver a punishment second only to taking a blow torch up the rear should we get too crazy tonight. And if that happens, we just might bring them over to your house for the day. AND YOU DON’T WANT THAT. We’re OMGtotallynotevenkidding.

9. That kid is OUT OF CONTROL! Not that yours is. Just theirs. To be clear, not you. Them. Theirs isn’t the only kid out of control at times, so what this really seems like is, Oh. My. God. All kids are out of control. Oops. I forgot that you also have kids, so I’m just going to pretend like I don’t think your kids are out of control. But they are. They totally, totally are. Yeah. Kids are out of control sometimes. It’s called lacking the capacity for abstract thought and BEING FRICKIN’ KIDS. It’s one thing for people with kids to complain about another couple’s offspring, but people without them? Can’t do it. It’s like when people pick on their siblings; it’s OK for them to do, but not OK for anyone else. Sorry. Them’s is just the rules.

10. Try to be here on time. While seemingly innocent sounding, what we hear is, Jesus. Think you could make an effort to keep a schedule? How hard can it be to put a single tiny human in a car and drive? The answer is hard. Really, really hard. It’s not just the human we have to pack. It’s also the playpen, the bouncy seat, the bottles, the formula, the baby food, the diapers, the wipes, the change of clothes, the butt cream, the thermometer, the snot bulb sucky thing, the baby Tylenol, the gas drops, the Benadryl, the blankets, and the toys. (And I know I forgot something on this list. See? We then have to go back for whatever it is we forgot.)

11. I didn’t invite you because you never say yes. Please keep inviting us. PLEASE. There’s bound to be a day or an evening or a weekend that will eventually work out, and there’s nothing we’d love more than to accompany you on whatever it is you’re doing — and we mean whatever. We’ve never wanted to do anything more in our whole lives.

12. You look tired. Are you feeling OK? Holy Hell. If spending all night cleaning up puke and wading through poop is OK, then I suppose we’ve never felt better.

13. Well, when I have kids, I’m gonna ____, and my kids will never ____, and the rules will be ____. *silence* *death glare* *crickets* Go fuck yourself.

Comments

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    • 2

      Johnnie says

      I, not having kids, agree with all of these, but 4,5,9 and 11.

      4. Nobody is trying to be mean to you by saying that it is an “adult only” event. There are just some situations that are not meant for children. If you don’t want to come, that’s perfectly okay. Actually, your friends might be trying to save you from an embarrassing situation by telling you that it isn’t meant for kids. When adults hang out and many of them do not have children, they like to know that they aren’t going to offend anyone by using sh**, d*mn, fu*k, a*s, or any myriad of words that might not be suitable for children. At an ADULT party, people do not like to be bombarded by kids asking crazy questions, nor do they like having to be something other than themselves by censoring their words so that you or your kids might not be offended.

      5. Many people have started to contemplate children by starting with animals. Some have been successful and some not. Some are not safe taking care of a goldfish. But how dare you act all “mightier than thou”, like you were the parent of the year when you had your first. And just to be concise and succinct…I take better care of my dogs than most do their children.

      9. See the above. Not everything can be chalked up to …”They’re just being kids”. Some children are really nasty and need parents with some sort of control. If you are hearing this by ALL of your friends, then maybe you should consider that the problem isn’t them…it’s your kids and do the parenting, that you seem to pretend like you know how to do all the time.

      11. After about 10 or 11 times, we give up. No one can do it all. And sometimes parents totally get offended by “it’s an adult party”…remember? So hire a half-way decent baby-sitter and join the party every once in a while…Oh wait I forgot…as a non-parent I don’t know how hard that can be…never mind!

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      • 3

        Emmie says

        I am a parent, and I have also had adults-only events (#4). If I can get a sitter, you can too. I’ll even help you arrange it or share mine with you. The issue isn’t usually paying for childcare, it is when a parent can’t stand to leave their kid for a couple of hours.

        Moving along to #11…if you’re one of the aforementioned parents and you show up to a late ladies-night-out dinner with your 5 year old daughter, you’ll either have to deal with not being invited at all or stop sabotaging those #4 adults-only outings.

        The problem with #5 that I’ve witnessed far too many times is that people that do have kids after practice-parenting a pet end up rehoming said pet after baby arrives because they don’t have the time or energy to properly care for the animal anymore. What the hell?

        #9 if you kid is driving me nuts and you’re not reigning them in, I will speak up. If you get all butthurt about it, you can take your brat and go. Just because I’m a mom doesn’t mean I’m going to like your kid.

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      • 4

        Liz says

        Agreed! Thank you for your rebuttal. In any case, this author seems very angry, so maybe she’s not handling motherhood as well as she’d like us all to think.

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      • 5

        Kathy Vargo says

        My comment will be much shorter than originally planned, since Johnnie covered most of the points that I wanted to mention (thanks, Johnnie!) ;) I want to add something to point #4 which has compelled me – as a childless person/mom of two dogs – to not invite parents with their children to events at my home. I have SOME friends (love ‘em!) who bring their children over along with entertainment for said children – and they are ALWAYS welcome!!! However, there is another subset of friends w/kids who have consistently shown up with brood in tow – and with NOTHING for them to play with. Seriously? This leaves me on a mad and desperate scramble for 1. Old toys circa 1975 that might have survived my last move; 2. Dog toys that might double as kid toys (?) 3. Anything that other parents MAY have left in my home at the last party — etc. To add insult to injury, many of them say breezily “don’t worry – little ____ will be happy just playing with your dogs!” No. The dogs, as sweet as they are, happen to be on the elderly side and did NOT sign up for ear pulling/being ridden like a small pony/chased around the coffee table 500 times. PLEASE. Do NOT assume that childless hosts have entertainment for your young ones. We don’t. Have anything. And this includes sippy cups, appropriate non-sugary juice options, bland food, child-proof cabinets, etc etc etc. Plan ahead and bring those kiddies something to do, don’t expect that I have stockpiles of apple juice and Goldfish crackers — and they are ALWAYS welcome in my home! :)))

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      • 7

        Linda Bevier-Vian says

        I am an adult and I would not want to go to a party if people were using those words. So that is not a valid excuse to leave children out. I started helping with my baby brother when I was 8 1/2. I am now a 62 year old grandmother raising my 16 year old and helping with my 3 year old Grandsons. So I know about kids, and so called adults.

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    • 11

      Melissa says

      I don’t get it either. A baby requires an extra 30 minutes (on a good day) to go grocery shopping for the week. A puppy you put in the training crate and head out the door. Not quite the same amount of work.

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      • 12

        Stephanie says

        It’s to see if you have the patience and ability to keep the animal alive and well maintained, training and care. If you fail as a pet parent, then most likely will not do so well as a parent. Sometimes, for extended periods, where you are able to run off for a day, you will need a sitter for a pet that requires special attention. Not all pets can be categorized into we’ll just crate them. Some are diabetic, some have allergies, some need medicine or they’ll have seizures. Just like a child, you never know what type of health you’ll get in your animal. And so nice of a person to tell a pet parent to just “crate them”. How would you like to be locked up in a cage for 8-15 hours? It would be nice to get out of the hell box and stretch your leg for a few minutes. Just because they’re animals does not mean they should be treated like a prisoner.

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        • 13

          recom1 says

          I’m going to have to disagree with you there, as I think you dove into the extremes. If your bet has allergies/diabetic/needs medicine/ has seizures, you usually have a time schedule to go around. What the person before you was talking about is the fact you don’t have to spend 30 minutes making sure you brought everything just to go grocery shopping. Putting your pet into a crate while you run out to do errands is normal, especially for young ones still being potty/chew trained.

          If I’m lucky, I’m preparing to leave and arrive home in just under 2 hours with my toddler and baby.

          Context, people! Obviously different circumstances require different ways about, but generally, most animals I’ve seen (my husbands side of the family has over 22 cats all together and only two have diabetes/cancer but are super old.) don’t have super special needs.

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    • 20

      Haley Johnston says

      I literally screamed at a guy and backed him all the way out of my house for this once. At that time my second child was about six months old and he was over with his girlfriend whose children (hers from a previous marriage) were in their teens and he tried telling a group of us, all with kids while he has none, how we should be raising our kids and each and every one of us was doing it incorrectly. I have never spoken to the guy since.

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      • 21

        Mike says

        From what you said, I would venture to guess that he’s happy to never speak to you again even more.

        It’s amusing to see how many parents are screwing up their kids yet react like you describe when it’s pointed out to them.

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        • 22

          recom1 says

          It can depend, although Hailey had said she screamed and backed them out does kind of sound like a person you describe, but I’ve heard people who aren’t parents try to tell parents about super simple things that they think we don’t know about.

          “They shouldn’t be running around naked.” In my fenced-in backyard?
          “Stop letting them run around the house opening and closing the doors, it’s annoying.” My son learning how to open and close doors? He isn’t even slamming them, he’s playing.
          “Ugh, why do you let him scream like that! When I have kids I–” He’s having a blast outside and causing no harm! But sure buddy! I’ll stop him and ruin his fun so you can have some peace and quiet! Okie Dokie!

          I won’t let them choke and die, and I sure as hell wont let them grow up to be rude. But jeez, some non-parents are damned picky and think you can control every fiber of the kids being. Thanks Hitler for the heads up!

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    • 34

      Stacy Gabben says

      I don’t have kids for every single reason listed here. As a married, childless, (By choice) woman in her 30′s, I hear WAY more NEGATIVE’s than positives from every parent I run into. People I know, people I barely know. Every single response on this list is negative, It’s like an alien invasion, I spent all night cleaning up puke, I have NO time to myself, I can’t watch anything alone with my spouse, Going to Walmart by myself is like a vacation, It’s hell to pack the kids up and go grocery shopping, but, after ALL that… you here the ‘Their worth it’….right…..That right there is a 6-1 negative vs. positive MAJOR loss. Why would I have kids when majority of parents talk more about the miseries of parenthood than anything else. I’m not having kids and I’m not murdering kittens either. (as so awesomely put by the woman above)

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      • 35

        Mark Buckingham says

        I know many people who have said to me i never want kids or anything like that, i dont take offence to it and i dont know why anyone would. its a persons choice to have kids or not and that choice should not affect you in any way. although i must say im going on my second kid (so still pretty new to this) but although having a kid it frustrating and stressful and VERY time consuming, also it limits what you can go out and do. but it also is one of the best most rewarding things i have ever done, cause every night when im reading my kid a book before bed i re fall in love with her and i kiss her goodnight. but like i said its all about how you want to live your life i dont judge anyone on not wanting kids, i just think that if your not having kids is based on a pro’s and con’s list know that that moment when you see them sleeping and so cute (baby cuddles are the best!) its one hell of a pro :) but once again everyone lives there life different thats just me :)

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        • 36

          wonderwoman1970 says

          I love being a mommy 40% of the time; and I have great kids and husband… 60% of the time I want to just be ME!!! Parenthood is more than a notion.

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      • 37

        Eric says

        Quite simply, having children is the single-most difficult thing my wife and I have ever taken on. It takes everything we are and takes up pretty much every thing we do. We make it a point to make time for ourselves. We get sitters when we can, and have “us” time. We each also step up and give each other our own alone time. But parenthood still has incredible moments of being overwhelmed. Maybe not daily, but multiple times a week.But what makes it all worth it, is every day, when I get home from work, I don’t have to say a word, and the look on each of my four daughters faces tells me I am their world. That I couldn’t have done anything greater than walk through that door. The sheer joy and elation of just seeing me has cured any woe they might have had. THAT is what makes it all worth it. That is the moment I live for, daily. So, yes, there might have been 5 negatives to 1 positive. But Each of those negatives was worth maybe 5 points. That one positive was worth 100. Having kids is not for everyone, and perhaps it’s not for you. But if you decide to have children, hopefully you’ll see THIS moment I’ve described is what every parent is talking about when they say “it’s all worth it.”

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        • 38

          Elie says

          EXACTLY. You can’t know until you KNOW. All those negatives don’t even add up close to the worth of the positives. It’s simply something that cannot be explained to someone who hasn’t experienced it for themselves. I have three children and all three of them have some amazing qualities and some not so amazing ones; they’re little humans and that’s the way everyone is. My 9 year old daughter has a huge attitude towards me when she disagrees with me and that is frustrating to deal with, but she has one super heart of gold. She is one of the most nurturing and caring kids I have ever seen and I feel honored and blessed to be raising her regardless of her less than stellar moments. I also feel proud that WE get to be the ones sending a person like her into a world that needs more people like that. Same goes for my other two children. So, give me the negatives any day, as long as it means I have those kids.

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        • 39

          Melinda says

          I agree with you. When you walk through the door it is Very enjoyable to hear the joy and excitement in their voices and get all the excited hugs.

          Its a far cry from my own dad. As kids we had a lookout so that when he pulled in the driveway we all basically hid from him.

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      • 40

        jkratz says

        Parents talk about the negatives for the same reason all women seem to tell other women how bad their pregnancy/child birth experience was, or how horrible some other experience was. People like to brag about how awful their existence is even when most people in America have no freaking clue what an awful existence is.

        The issue with all of the stuff mentioned in this post is that its the first several years which honestly isn’t that big of a deal (and I’m speaking of kids that don’t have special needs). So it’s fine if you chose not to have kids, but I hope it simply wasn’t because of the “scary stories” told by other parents.

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      • 41

        Misty says

        At the risk of sounding like the worst mother on earth – Stacy, you have no idea how lucky you are to have friends with kids. My husband and I often wish we had known more people with children so we could know what it would *really* be like. We’ve got three, aged 12 and under, so we’ve been at it for a while. The “worth it” moments mentioned by mooning parents hardly carry us through to the next time we pull someone off the counter, break up a fight, clean up another spill, spend an hour and a half cooking dinner that no one eats, find dirty dishes where they shouldn’t be, remember when the last time was that we were out together – oh not for almost a year because we can’t afford to pay for a babysitter. It’s exasperating, and I’m still waiting for the “rewards.” I don’t think parenting is for everyone, and I wish society would stop assuming/expecting that once people get married they will have kids. If I felt that it was actually a choice, I may have chosen differently (which is why my kids know they don’t have to have kids). Sometimes I feel like I have the most horrible job in the world and I can’t quit.

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        • 43

          Queena says

          It took three kids for you to figure out you weren’t cut out for it? And you hear the negatives “described” more than the positives because the positives are not things that are easily put into words and the negatives are usually exaggerated anyway! You still have toddlers do you?? Lol! Well, well! We’ve been through a wrecked Grand Prix, Bonneville, 3 pick up trucks and a motorcycle! A blown up gold fish pond and a golf cart roll over as well as a 16 year old banned from a golf course! One kid with clinical OCD and another with allergies to EVERYTHING! But my kids are grown now and I have five grandkids! Right there is in itself a reward for many sleepless nights! My daughter’s work in Haitian missions is another! For them to hug me and say, “Mom, you and Dad were awesome parents and we hope we can be half as good at this as you were!” is another! When my youngest granddaughter smiles up at me and raises her little arms up for me to pick her up my heart melts! I’m “reliving my children growing up through them and it’s priceless! MORE dirty diapers, more sleepless nights, and yes more puke as well! And yes worth it! Not only that – but we’ve gone through two divorces (first daughter then son) child custody battles and a bi-polar ex-wife! You’ve only just begun!! And you know what??? It “sounds like life to me!!!”

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          • 44

            Misty says

            I did know after the first, but hubby wanted another, and despite our efforts to the contrary, we got the third (and most challenging, which is saying a lot).

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          • 45

            Chris says

            Sounds just terrible. All of it. You say I dont know what its like to hear the I love yous or see them grow up? Well If I dont have any children, I guess I cant miss it, now can I? I honestly dont see why its so shocking to people that there are some people that revile children (myself being one of them). They consume all of your time, they stink, are dirty, annoying, constant in need of care, and basically make you change your entire life to suit them. Is that the childs fault? Not really, but is it really that unbelieavable that some people dont want them? You want to help overpopulate us some more with a bunch of half-wit children, feel free, but Ill leave myself out of that one.

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        • 46

          Lizzie says

          I try not to be judgmental but this post is really upsetting. You knew you weren’t cut out for parenting after your first but you let your husband talk you into another and then you had a third? You say “If it was a choice” It absolutely WAS a choice. If you are not happy being a parent, your children are going to feel that. It was very selfish of you and your husband to keep having kids that YOU didn’t want to parent-and still don’t want to from the sounds of it.
          As far as rewards, maybe I can help:

          -When they smile
          -When they hug you and say “I love you”
          -When they’re little and they look at you with those eyes that trust you, need you, and love you more than anything in the world
          -When they learn new things and you get to say “I taught them that”
          -When you get to watch them become functioning, individual humans and know that YOU raised them with all those values, morals and manners that they have.

          Stop “waiting’ for them and open your eyes, they’re all around you.
          P.S. I hope you never tell your children you would have chosen not to have them if you felt it was a “choice’.

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          • 47

            Shocked says

            Whole lotta hate in these comments! I didn’t know that humor had such a tiny place in the world anymore. Maybe everyone should stop getting their knickers in a twist and learn a little empathy.

            Misty I’m sorry you’re in the place you are. My mother also feels like she would not have had kids if she’d had a choice. Choice is, in many ways, such a privilege. So few of us realize the cultures (familial, societal, national, whatever) that we are subject to, and it literally never occurred to my mother that she had a choice. She intellectually knew it, but she knew what was expected of her, my father wanted kids, and so she did it. And she was very, deeply, intensely unhappy.

            She was also an excellent mother. While I knew that she hadn’t wanted children, she was also clear on how much she loved us. As I’m sure Misty’s kids are too. Or at least, since she is a perfect stranger to me, I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt.

            Everyone struggles. Everyone. No one deserves to be torn apart on the internet.

            For me, humor is a coping mechanism. I didn’t agree with everything in the post, but I did find it pretty damn funny, since, you know, it wasn’t written as an advice column, it was written to be funny.

            Untwist the knickers, people. You can do it. A good stiff drink might help. Or go get laid. Whatever it takes.

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      • 48

        Merve says

        yes, I have 4 kids and as I was reading this, i thought, “Well, if you didn’t feel #1 before you read this article, you’ll probably feel it afterwards.” #13 is annoying, definitely, but it doesn’t bother me…because I know that the only thing that can educate you on this is experience!

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      • 49

        recom1 says

        All those negatives, you probably catch them on a bad day, as it’s mostly bad days. Sticky, sweaty, crying, puking, stressful bad days. But it has always suppose to be work. It isn’t suppose to be a vacation. You’re raising a human being! Some people can’t handle the stress 24/7 and just need someone to vent to (Probably you at that time!)

        Its everyone’s personal choice to have a child, and as a parent and a person, I have never asked anyone ‘when’s the baby coming?’ or ‘planning on kids?’. It may sound normal but nowadays it’s kind of rude! Enjoy your life with or without children! It’s fun both ways! :)

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      • 50

        says

        Because, my nature, that is what people do. When they vent about their life, it is usually in the form of a complaint.
        Kudo’s to you for being comfortable in your decision not to have kids. I have several friends that made the decision to not have kids. To each their own.
        But don’t think- because you hear more on the complaint side than the silver lining side- that having kids for those that have them isn’t one of the best, most rewarding things in their lives.
        Yes, cleaning up poop and puke in the middle of the night sucks. But the cuddles and the kisses and the “I love you’s” are wonderful.
        Answering “why?” questions endlessly can be infuriating. Watching your children experience things for and seeing the wonder in their eyes like they have never seen such a beautiful most amazing thing is fantastic.
        Raising and guiding a child to turn into a kind, responsible, loving, generous, considerate person is terrifying and daunting. It is also fabulous and remarkable watching them along the way.
        Single people complain too. Just as much as married with kids people do. Just about different things. I wouldn’t change my life for the world….but I will still complain about puke and poop in the middle of the night.

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    • 51

      Avery says

      Yeah, number one is bullshit. If a parent takes offense to another adult saying “I do not want children” then that’s the parent being an asshole. Having children is a lifestyle choice. If someone voices a preference for some other lifestyle, that is not a personal affront. Grow up.

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      • 52

        Heather says

        There’s a difference between saying to a parent that you don’t want children because it’s not the right choice for you, and saying you don’t want children because you think children are nasty little vomit bags who ruin people’s lives, make them boring, and are the most awful things everrrrr.

        The first one is okay and great and understandable and self-aware. The second is just dickish.

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        • 53

          AussieGal says

          Sadly, I’m still treated like dirt by some Mothers when I say children aren’t meant for me… And the older (mostly religious) women ALWAYS try to tell me I’ll change my mind and have children, as it’s my job… I don’t want to tell them I can’t have kids, but it’s the only thing that shuts them up. Kids aren’t for me, and my previous injury (fractured pelvis in a horse fall, right under a major artery, with arthritis in the hip) makes sure of that. My Sister has 4 (10, 5, 2 & 1), and I play an active part in their lives. It’s good enough for me. :)

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          • 54

            Beth says

            I don’t/can’t have kids either, but some parents act like my lifestyle is somehow judging theirs. (It isn’t — this isn’t a choice for me.) At the same time, they have no problem tell me how I’m incomplete because I don’t have kids, and that’s what life’s all about, right? One very religious Christian even told me that I shouldn’t ever marry because marriage and sex are only for procreation.

            Sometimes I feel like snapping: “Just because you’re looking down on me, doesn’t mean I’m looking down on you.” Not all childless people are clueless jerks.

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        • 59

          Amelia says

          No. 2 year old, not ready. Are you this woman’s child’s mother? NO. So if she says her 2 year old isn’t ready, don’t be all ‘seriously?’ You’re going on this list, Denise. You’re going on this list RIGHT NOW.

          Says the mother of a 2 year old that is NOT READY. And shit, even if he were ready, it’s none of your business what excuse I use.

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          • 60

            marquette says

            Giggles for your comment:) completely agree…never even tried to potty train mine until they were 3. They understand the concept better, which made things easier and less stressful on both of us :)

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        • 61

          Mary says

          Yes, Seriously. I tried training both of my kids at 2 and a half. THEY WERE NOT READY! My oldest had no clue when she needed to go. She would say she needed to go after she had already wet her pants. Trained them both right after they turned three and took one day.

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          • 62

            Shannon says

            My oldest trained in two days by age 2. My second by 2 and a half. My third age 3 and now my fourth is almost three and could give two shits about the potty.
            He’s my last. No rush.
            I’ve learned with many children to slow down with the kids. They are only little for a short time.

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    • 65

      Christine O. says

      I found most of these hilarious!! I try to keep our son from being out of control, even in situations with other kids. I’m already in the “if the other kids jumped off a bridge” category and he’s only 5! But he still has his days that he doesn’t listen and is out of control…and those days I’d be ok locking myself in a room for the day but he knows he can unlock our doors with the end of a floss pick so it wouldn’t work haha. And I was always the person that would be over by themselves reading or something at a party….so yeah…not going to a party isn’t anything new that came with child for me. But when I do go, if it’s adult only, we have friends that are okay watching him for a couple hours. 90% of the time though that only parties I go to are cast parties after a theater production and that means there are kids there because they were in the show as well. ;)

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  1. 67

    says

    I am proud to say that I never said any of these! I’ve had them said to me, though. The one thing I did do, and am now completely pissed at myself for, is getting upset when my parent-friends didn’t reciprocate visits and I had to go see them a lot. :-( I never told them, at least,

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    • 68

      recom1 says

      I know what you mean, I’m going through that right now. People want us to travel everywhere (I immigrated to Michigan from Ontario) and no one wants to take time out of their day to make the effort to drive to us!

      We drive 4 hours to stay with my mom, and if I don’t visit others, towing my kids in and out of cars all bloody day, I’m the jerk who didn’t make time for them. Seriously? I’m only up for 48 hours. Why can’t you all just come to me? It takes me so much time and work to get them ready. Ugh

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      • 73

        Amanda says

        I don’t mind when people tell me it’s adult only. Some people just aren’t comfortable around kids… they shouldn’t be forced to be around them at THEIR event. Just don’t go if their such “assholes” anyway.

        I think you are forgetting that your kid is YOUR problem, not others.

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        • 74

          Lucy says

          I love this comment. You are right. If someone is having an event it is their decision whether or not they want kids at it no matter what kind of an event it is, whether it is outdoor or indoor is irrelevant. If you are friends with them, you will respect their wishes and either not go, or find someone to watch your kid for a couple hours. I wish more people thought that way.

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