Being a work-at-home mom gives a whole new meaning to the concept of multitasking. You aren’t just juggling laundry and dishes or deadlines and invoices—you’re balancing all of the aforementioned. Here are some of the thoughts WAHMs have during their day-to-day adventures:
1. Look at me, I’m in my pajamas. On the couch. Making money. I’m awesome.
2. Just logging in—time to get some writing done. Working at home is seriously the best.
3. Wait, what? My boss wants to have a conference call right now? My toddler is currently shouting “turtle” on repeat because it’s her newest word…
4. Hello, naptime conference call. Whispering during business calls is normal, right?
5. Hello, back porch.
6. Conference call is finished. Now I just need to frantically finish the new projects I just got assigned in the next few minutes before turtle girl wakes up again.
7. Nooooo, I just heard her say “turtle” upstairs!
8. Let’s check the Wi-Fi camera really quick. Maybe she was sleep-talking? Please?
9. Crap, she grabbed her laundry basket and she’s throwing clothes everywhere. Work is going to have to wait for now.
10. I smell poop.
11. What was I just studying about content marketing strategies? It’s hard to think over this gut-wrenching stench.
12. Can you potty train a 13-month-old?
13. Clean diaper, time for lunch. How about some strawberries while I quickly check my email?
14. Dang it. She fed it all to the dog when I looked away for literally 15 seconds.
15. Here, eat this sandwich.
16. Let’s just plan out my afternoon and respond to a few clients while she eats lunch.
17. OK, this workload is actually possible. I can meet my deadlines if turtle girl takes an afternoon nap.
18. What am I feeling right now between the couch cushions? Is that…bread? I knew she didn’t finish the sandwich.
19. You better get over this crippling fear of vacuums if you’re going to keep hiding bread between the couch cushions.
20. Loud screams. Red face. Gasping for air. She’s in full tantrum mode. I think it’s time to raid my hidden chocolate stash and call this day quits.
21. Actually, after all this destruction and screaming, I bet this child is ready for a nap now. Let’s do this thing.
22. She’s playing hardball. I’ve been rocking her for five minutes, and she hasn’t blinked once. I didn’t even know that was humanly possible.
23. After the fifth round of “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star,” the child successfully fell asleep. Touchdown!
24. Let’s get this work done! I am so pumped up by my impressive mom skills!
25. Oh hey, look, it’s one of those recipe videos on Facebook.
26. No! Stop that! This time is more precious than Daniel Tiger reruns.
27. Emails sent. Deadlines met. I’m awesome.
28. Aaaaand right on cue, she’s awake. Back on the clock as mama.
On Mondays, being a WAHM just plain sucks. But by the time Friday rolls around, and I’ve successfully met deadlines, kept my child alive, and maybe even taught her a thing or two, the chaos is all absolutely worth it.
Not only do I have a peanut-butter-and-jelly-stained couch and a heart full of memories, I also feel a very tangible sense of fulfillment from advancing my career with part-time work. And no matter what craziness happens during the day, turtle girl will always come first.