10 Reasons Age Three is More Terrible Than Two

302 Comments

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1. At two, they can barely talk. At three, they never shut the hell up.

2. At two, they cry. At three, they throw temper tantrums so epic, you become convinced that they are possessed by the devil.

3. At two, they’re happy to eat anything you present to them. At three, they eat only three foods (usually consisting of a starch and processed cheese.)

4. At two, baths are a ten minute event, the result of which is a clean child. At three, baths take over an hour, and result in a drenched bathroom, sopping wet mommy and 16 used towels.

5. At two, they wear diapers that can be changed on your watch. At three, they’re potty trained and the world revolves around their bladders and bowels.

6. At two, they are distracted by a box of Gerber Puffs at the grocery store. At three, they want to dictate your entire food list.

7. At two, they let you dress them, looking innocent and adorable. At three, they insist on picking out their clothes, looking like pint sized versions of mental institution inhabitants.

8. At two, they don’t like to get dirty. At three, they thrive on it.

9. At two, you can do things for them, saving infinite amounts of time. At three, they must do everything by themselves, taking FOR-fucking-EVER.

10. At two, manipulation is the last thing on their minds. At three, they own you. And they know it.

Comments

  1. 2

    Reinventing Dad says

    I totally agree and I was forewarned by friends and family long before I had children that three-year olds are much more “challenging” than the so-called “terrible two” year olds. Three-year olds seem to know just enough to push their own agenda and test their parents. Hang in there!

    Reinventing Dad’s last blog post.."That" annoying question

  2. 3

    Karen says

    I hear ya… My daughter will be 3 in September and she is morphing from bright and clever to bitchy and hateful. And my hubby had the nerve to pout about me wanting to purge all the baby stuff. I said what… we’re having more? He’s all… well, yeah I thought we were. He clearly has not spent enough time with our one and only lately…

  3. 4

    Cammie says

    My daughter just turned 3 last Friday. She is evil. Terrible 2s are TOTAL bullshit….I agree.
    I follow you on Twitter….saw your tweet about this post.

    Cammie’s last blog post..Not Me Monday

  4. 5

    KathyB! says

    It really is the threes that get you. They just tell you it’s the two’s so you won’t see it coming and try to trade them in for a new model :)

    KathyB!’s last blog post..Forever young

  5. 6

    Jamie says

    Well…that’s reasurring….or not! :) I thought I was entering the difficult stage now. Kind of sucks to know there’s another one around the corner. But, I’m glad to be forewarned!!! My child has decided to put a freakin fit if he doesn’t get his way at all times. And then he starts thrwoing stuff…..he’s only 21 MONTHS OLD. Not even two yet! What form of punishment do you use? Does timeout work? I think he’s a little too young for that so I just ignore him which right now tends to work. But i’m ready for #2…..LOL

    • 7

      GrandyTandy says

      Jamie,

      Consider growing pains. When a child is so out of control, try offering to hold them. Then hold them firmly, so they don’t have to be in charge. I wonder if they think no one will ever stop their unwanted and unhappy behavior? Sometimes a little one needs to move his bowels and other times the ‘time out’ means he’s too tired to be in charge any more. Naps are great. Suggested lovingly, most little ones can’t resist. A little understanding and tenderness lets them know how helpless they are to rule the world. You will take charge for now …

    • 9

      Mariela says

      Personally, I don’t think it ever ends. Each child age has it’s own challenges. Now is the terrible twos and threes, the whatever fours, then come the tweens and teenage years.

  6. 10

    christy says

    Yep, that’s what my relatives and moms with older kids tell me. Since my babe isn’t quite 9 months I can’t speak from experience. YET!

    Love the sunglasses bathtub shot. One for the album, for sure!

    christy’s last blog post..Yep, I want this

  7. 11

    Jen, buried with children says

    I totally agree with you. Hayden was a wonderful 2 year old but the three came and wow three was awful. I was hoping that the babies were going to follow this same pattern but oh no, two is pretty terrible here and they are not even two yet.
    Now four, four is an awesome age. So I guess there is hope.

    Jen, buried with children’s last blog post..When A Bear Attacks

  8. 12

    Ann says

    Oh the joys….you painted an honest and colorful picture. :) Good things to know. ***I just voted for you!!!**** I know what took me so long!?!

    Ann’s last blog post..Big Thanks, A Little Gobbling and a lot of Goodness!

  9. 13

    Missy Luce says

    We never had the terrible twos. We had the trilling threes. And then we had the all out F wording fours.

  10. 14

    Suzi says

    I have a 6 year old who still hasn’t outgrown the “Terrific Threes”. He pisses me off daily, he talks back, calls me names, swears at me, and the list goes on. He badgers his brothers too. I am just waiting for the day that he pisses off the wrong person and they give him hell. It doesn’t matter what I do to him he still rants at me. I hope yours out grows this stage.

    Suzi’s last blog post..Even The Birds Are HOT

  11. 15

    Shelle-Blokthoughts says

    I’m different in that my kids were worse at two and better at three… But I get it!

  12. 16

    James (SeattleDad) says

    I am where you were when Lily was two. This post was a serious rain on my parade. I was prepared to believe we had skipped that phase.

    Hey, maybe it won’t happen with Lukas….

    James (SeattleDad)’s last blog post..Secret Plan

  13. 17

    melissa says

    ok…finally someone agrees with me.
    twos…so cute.
    threes…not bad.
    fours…i’d rather suck the jowls of a rabid bulldog. four year olds are possessed by the devil…alleging one believes in the devil. although, if you have a four year old, chances are…you TOTALLY believe that there are evil forces at work…
    anywhoo.
    yeah, i agree with this post.

    melissa’s last blog post..To My Children. Here, Let Me Mark The Spot For You To Kiss

  14. 18

    Lizzie says

    yup! my mom always said they scare you about the 2′s to prepare you for the 3′s

    Lizzie’s last blog post..Kindergarteners & Nutjobs

  15. 19

    T Rex Mom says

    Too funny!

    But I guess I shouldn’t laugh too hard since I’ll be there soon enough. Thanks for the warning – always good to go into something fully advised.

    Oh, I voted too!

    T Rex Mom’s last blog post..My Second Award!!!

  16. 20

    Rhea says

    Sun glass in the tub, totally awesome photo.

    My kids’ 3′s were TOTALLY HORRIBLE and much worse than their 2′s. I agree.

  17. 21

    Julie B. says

    No, definately not just you. I’m only a month away from “4″ and hoping this whirlwind of whine, argue, ignore, and food apathy end soons.

    Julie B.’s last blog post..Baby Picture Sunday – All About Mom

  18. 22

    Sarah says

    Yes, 3′s are bad. My middle child is 3 and my youngest is days away from 2. But just wait, first grade girls are the worst!

  19. 23

    Christina says

    Mine had the terrible 3′s too! Now, I’m trying to prepare myself for puberty and teenagers.

    Christina’s last blog post..BACK TO BUSINESS AND…. I GOT TAGGED…. AGAIN

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