To my 16 year old self – Scary Mommy

To my 16 year old self

Have your eyebrows professionally waxed.

Don’t go on that fad diet. It will forever change your relationship with food.

Make friends with the theatre geeks, they’re some of the coolest people in school.

Don’t convince the principal to let you swap algebra and calculus classes for pottery. Believe it or not, math will serve you much better in life.

Don’t drink half a bottle of Goldschläger after your junior prom if you ever want to enjoy the taste of cinnamon again.

Be nice to your brother.

Stop biting your nails. It’s gross.

Don’t peg your jeans.

Use sunscreen. Just do it.

Pay attention when you shave your legs!

He’s going to end up fat, bald and living in the same town you grew up in.

Use leave in conditioner, buy a diffuser and don’t brush your hair when it’s dry.

Don’t rely on Cliff’s Notes.

You don’t need foundation.

The popular girl who you think has it all together, doesn’t.

Lighten up.