To My Favorite Child

To my favorite child, Lily:
I love you the most. You introduced me to the world of motherhood and made us a family. I love how genuinely kind and sweet you are. I love how you consider any alone time with me now a special date, even if we just go to the market. I love how nurturing and compassionate you are to animals and people, alike. I love watching you draw and the pride you take in your art. I love how you hug like you’re never going to let go. I love how thoughtful you are, always. I love your tan lines and the tiny birthmark on your cheek. I love hearing from teachers and neighbors how wonderful you are, even though I already know. I love talking to you on the phone, on the rare occasion when I’m not at home. I love reading the little notes you leave around the house and hearing you read to your brothers. You are my absolute favorite.

To my favorite child,

Ben: I love you the most. You were the sweetest baby in the world and I literally didn’t put you down for over a year. I love your exuberance and enthusiasm. I love how you wake up every morning in a fantastic mood, no matter how you went to bed the night before. I love how easy to please you can be. I love the smell of your neck and the color of your magic eyes, whether they are green, gray or blue that day. I love holding your hand and the face you make when you spot me at school. I love the way your voice gets really high when you’re excited and that you actually squeal with delight. I love that you “remember being born.” I love how much you worship your sister and the way you watch her when she’s not looking. I love your favorite teddy bear and how cool you look in sunglasses. You are my absolute favorite.


To my favorite child, Evan: I love you the most. You will always be my baby, even though you insist that you are a big boy. I love your husky voice and the way your repeat everything you hear even though half the time, you have no idea what you’re saying. I love watching you try to keep up with your siblings and their friends. I love the humming sound you make when you really like what you’re eating. I love watching you play and how you can make a game of pretty much anything. I love how much you love making people laugh. I love the way you say my name. I love your pudgy thighs and your knees and the way you look in your pajamas. I love the way you hold my face with two hands when you give me a kiss. I love hearing you thump down the stairs in the morning. You round out our family, completely. You are my absolute favorite.

{For the record, you each got the exact same number of words. It’s even.}


About the writer


What started as an innocent on-line baby book to chronicle Jill Smokler’s stay-at-home days with her children, quickly transformed into a vibrant community of parents, brought together by a common theme: Parenting doesn’t have to be perfect. Welcome to Scary Mommy!


Jennifer Leigh Matthews 2 years ago

I LOVE how she said they got the same amount of words, its even. I have three kids, and I understand every words wrote. One of kids makes me laugh more then anything in this world, I have a sweet hearted kind little girl and my oldest will always be smart, compassionate and sensitive, they all are different. I was scared I wouldn’t love more after I had my first child, but love is so strong and its amazing how I truly love them all the same.

Wendy Floyd Biggerstaff 2 years ago

LOVE this…I tell both of my boys “you are my favorite”

Heaven Jones 2 years ago

You had me crying before I got my first cup of coffee down :’) all 3 of mine are my favorite in their own ways and I really loved “same number of words” mine are like that too!

Deborah Laurenda Vrolyk 2 years ago

Well, it’s 2:44am, I’m up feeding my favourite baby while my favourite 5 year old sleeps peacefully, and I’m bawling. That was so perfect. I’m going to make time to write to my favourites this week!

Jeny Riordan 2 years ago

When my children were young, my great aunt passed away. At her memorial all of her adult children read a letter about their mother & each ended with, “Mom always said I was her favorite” I loved this, and from then on, I have told each of my children that they are my favorite. They are 22, 20 & 15. Last Christmas I had shirts made up for each of them that said “I am mom’s favorite” and I wrapped them. I have a pretty priceless video of them sitting together and opening them up and laughing.

Brittany Nicole Hahn 2 years ago

I love this. Made me smile

Leah Cusick 2 years ago

Aaaaand now I’m crying… <3

The Preemie Mommy 2 years ago

Good one…I still YEARS away from this stage, thank god!

Brandi Lazette Duffy 2 years ago

Love. Brought tears right to my eyes!

Amity Walsh Jones 2 years ago

I love this freakin much every child should have a love letter like this from their mother. It’s dead on too. I’m bawling.

Kelz Pyffer 2 years ago

I’m really against moms picking favorites. Ik how it feels to grow up like that and it sucks :(

Christine Witkowski Zimmer 2 years ago

So sweet

Cobb Huggins 2 years ago

Beautiful! I have two favorites of my own, and this really resonates with me. You are very gifted. What a great mom your three have.

Libby Chapman 2 years ago

Aaaaaaaaah Jill h ow special

Gail Jantamrian Hetra 2 years ago

My 3, who are now adults, are all my favorites too. Great column :-)

Lani 2 years ago

I have 6 year old triplets.. My firstborn is Lily, second is Ben, and third born is Cameron. It’s eery how your description of your Lily and Ben is so similar to mine! And they have one cousin.. His name is Evan:)

Rachel Ann Termini 2 years ago

I have six favorites. I tell them it is a secret between us.

Stephanie Bonjack 2 years ago

Thanks for the bucket of tears!

Denise Beaman 2 years ago

I hope each of my girls believe in their hearts that they were my favorite.

Angela Giordano 2 years ago

This was so beautiful! This is like how I tell the kiddies I love them all equally but differently. Thanks for posting this, made my day after all of the sad postings I’ve seen today!

Nicole Van Hoose 2 years ago

My favorite is whoever is in the room. :) I tell my older one, you are my favorite kid over 13 and my tougher one, you are my favorite kid under 13. It changes with each birthday of the oldest child.

Hah! I accidentally wrote tougher instead of younger, even though it is true. I guess that was a Freudian slip–you know, when you say one thing but you mean your mother.

Gea de Jong-Kaynar 2 years ago


Bambi Q Weinstein 2 years ago

Ok you made me cry.

Melissa Hammond Rivera 2 years ago

I love everything you post on this site. It makes me feel like even in my bad days I am a great parent.

Abby Rose Blanch 2 years ago

Oh dear…crying!

Meagan Baker 2 years ago

Thank you for posting this, I don’t believe in having a favorite, they should be loved and treated fairly. I really hope my kids never feel that I have a favorite because I love them both equally with all of my heart

Amy @mommetime 2 years ago

Loved this post…. This: {For the record, you each got the exact same number of words. It’s even.} that is awesome –cracked me up! Just this morning my daughter says, “but Mom you gave her one more grape than you gave me…”

Miranda 2 years ago

I absolutely love this post! It’s beautiful. I have a feeling I’m gonna write something like this when my second child is born in december. My first child is a huge mamas boy.

Colleen Cameron Enders-hinman 2 years ago

Beautiful…I have 4 and “each one” is my “favorite”.♡

Anna Boyer 2 years ago

I have 3 favorite daughters <3

SB Lewis 2 years ago

Whaaaaaa!!! Oh, the tears.

Ellen McGilloway 2 years ago

I have two sons I love the most! <3

Becky Briggs 2 years ago

lol love the same number of words!

Martha Gaughan 2 years ago

Our third daughter is only two weeks old and this already resonates with me. So many different needs at the same time and three perfect little personalities to be loved individually as well as together x

Sarah Manro 2 years ago

I have a girl and 2 boys in the same order. I totally get it!

Trisha Beard 2 years ago

Scary Mommy, you are my absolute favorite!

Mysti Jacob Shellabarger 2 years ago

Love this! Your children are so beautiful!

Tut TheSphynx 2 years ago

No one loves one child more than another. You do however tend to have that one easy one who causes you 0 to little stress and you get along so well with. And it’s probably the one least like you.

Alexis Stein Tande 2 years ago

I’m not even kidding jill…still crying….

Stéphanie Fagnoni 2 years ago

I love my twins…and each one is my favorite……

Alexis Stein Tande 2 years ago

because I’m feeling sappy I read this with a few or maybe a lot of tears…

Maura Linkowski 2 years ago

Having just had my second, this so resonates. I love them both the most, so a million different reasons.

Sarah Sanchez 2 years ago

I love this because I feel the same way about my 3 favorites :)

Ruth Ivanisko 2 years ago

I love my children equally. However, that said. yes, the first get’s you all alone to yourself, so that is special. They should know how lucky it was to be the first.

Michelle Goddard 3 years ago

Geez, this got me balling for some reason!

Sara Ann 3 years ago

This is a wonderful idea! I love that you used the same number of words on each one, so thoughtful.

Amanda Martin 3 years ago

I love this, especially the last comment 'you're even'!

Jennifer Lizza 3 years ago

Beautiful! I can see why this would be a favorite post. I often find myself thinking about all the things I love about each of my boys…evenly but differently.

WeavingRoses 3 years ago

Beautiful. I can’t wait to have this slice of motherly heaven in my own life. Hopefully we’ll get pregnant with our first soon!

Amanda Johnson 3 years ago

This is fantastic and so true. Tears in my eyes reading it, wonderful and heart warming. Only a Mummy can understand and feel every emotion attached to every word in this post. Wonderful, love it xx

kyliasmommy 3 years ago

My dad would always say i was his favorite oldest daughter my sister his favorite middle and so on.. there were five of us

kyliasmommy 3 years ago

Oh that’s precious! Made me tear up. Lucky kids to have such a loving mama


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