Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
@scarymommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- Insane Works of Sandwich Art - May 19, 2013
- The Disney Reveal - May 14, 2013
- Met My Match At Disney… - May 13, 2013
To my favorite child, Lily: I love you the most. You introduced me to the world of motherhood and made us a family. I love how genuinely kind and sweet you are. I love how you consider any alone time with me now a special date, even if we just go to the market. I love how nurturing and compassionate you are to animals and people, alike. I love watching you draw and the pride you take in your art. I love how you hug like you’re never going to let go. I love how thoughtful you are, always. I love your tan lines and the tiny birthmark on your cheek. I love hearing from teachers and neighbors how wonderful you are, even though I already know. I love talking to you on the phone, on the rare occasion when I’m not at home. I love reading the little notes you leave around the house and hearing you read to your brothers. You are my absolute favorite.
To my favorite child, Ben: I love you the most. You were the sweetest baby in the world and I literally didn’t put you down for over a year. I love your exuberance and enthusiasm. I love how you wake up every morning in a fantastic mood, no matter how you went to bed the night before. I love how easy to please you can be. I love the smell of your neck and the color of your magic eyes, whether they are green, gray or blue that day. I love holding your hand and the face you make when you spot me at school. I love the way your voice gets really high when you’re excited and that you actually squeal with delight. I love that you “remember being born.” I love how much you worship your sister and the way you watch her when she’s not looking. I love your favorite teddy bear and how cool you look in sunglasses. You are my absolute favorite.
To my favorite child, Evan: I love you the most. You will always be my baby, even though you insist that you are a big boy. I love your husky voice and the way your repeat everything you hear even though half the time, you have no idea what you’re saying. I love watching you try to keep up with your siblings and their friends. I love the humming sound you make when you really like what you’re eating. I love watching you play and how you can make a game of pretty much anything. I love how much you love making people laugh. I love the way you say my name. I love your pudgy thighs and your knees and the way you look in your pajamas. I love the way you hold my face with two hands when you give me a kiss. I love hearing you thump down the stairs in the morning. You round out our family, completely. You are my absolute favorite.
{For the record, you each got the exact same number of words. It’s even.}
{ 114 comments… read them below or add one }
In the future, I hope Lily doesn’t harp on the fact that she got written about first, though. You could always justify it by saying she’s the only girl–”ladies first,” and all that. :)
Jana @ Attitude Adjustment recently posted..Spill It!- Confessions of a Shoe Fetishist
It was in birth order- simply factual- there’s no arguing that. :)
I nearly cried and I don’t know you or your children. That was sooo sweet. I know this was a while ago but I just discovered your site last night. I have already told every mom I know about it. You are awesome!
Thanks so much! So appreciate you spreading the word– so happy you found me! :)
Love this- so sweet. I may have to write letters to my kids like this. :)
This is so entirely sweet. Love how you made it the exact number of words for each, great touch. We take so much time telling how unbelievable crazy they make us, it’s nice to hear the sweet stuff too.
Danielle recently posted..Thursday Thirteen- Does this baby make my butt look big
The baby must be making me hormonal.
I am sitting here, in the dark, before 5 am, crying over this post.
LOVE.
(Know that if I could bold the word love in red font, I would.)
Francesca recently posted..The Lowe Family News
I totally blame the hormones. What have you become??
I cried, too, and I am certainly not pregnant or especially hormonal… just a sap!
Pamela recently posted..Out Front
Beautiful! I want to copy and do it to my kids. Nice job.
Cindy S recently posted..When Reality Bites
The exact same number of words? How did you accomplish that? Hell, you can tell I still only have one, I would have never even thought about the number of words.
Very sweet, by the way. :)
Krista @ Not Mommy of the Year recently posted..Breaking one of my cardinal rules
If you should have more than one, you’ll see. There was no other way. :)
Jill, I just want you to know that I love you the most. You are my absolute favorite blogger! :)
Lynn from For Love or Funny recently posted..Wall decal giveaway!
Oh, I bet you say that to all the bloggers you read. :P
this is darling.
Dana recently posted..Happy Birthday- baby boy
That was wonderful…
Christine recently posted..Can she do it
So sweet! My mom used to tell us we were each her favorite. She’d say “you’re my favorite, but don’t tell your sister.” We both knew she said it to both of us, but we still both secretly believed she loved us best. How could she not?
This is a great blog post. I feel like we should all write something like this each year, since the kids change so much.
Allison @ Motherhood, WTF? recently posted..Poop Update
So true about writing it every year– I’ll have to do that. And I love that about your mom.
Although its not the “politically correct” thing to say. I have a favorite. One favorite, well two of the four. I love them all but two of them just make my life bliss while the other two hold the job of undoing the bliss. So when I saw the title I thought “yeah!, another mom being honest about favoring one kid over the other” But then I read it and yup, I’m still alone on this. It’s okay though you have inspired me to write similar letters to my children. And to be fair I will start with my least favorite. Let me say again, I LOVE them all but whew a couple of them, particularly one drives me insane. I am certain he is here to challenge my mothering techniques. I’m working on it.
Raquel recently posted..I Almost Slapped Another Ho
You are not alone- I know plenty of moms who feel the same way. And, I do feel like I favor a certain child or two, but it’s really whoever I see as being the weakest or neediest at any certain point. And whoever is driving me the least insane. Fortunately, they seem to shake things up quite a bit.
I love my kids differently. I had moments of fear when my youngest was a baby that he would get favored, b/c he was so loving all the time, and the other was 4 at the time and driving me CRAZY. But they are two different kids, one of them requires more physical attention, while the other one wants quality time. I definitely go through times where I’d rather be with one than the other, and right now w/ the older one in school, life is SO MUCH CALMER than having them both here all the time.
I dont’ really know if that says anything about favoring or not, I guess it’s safe to say, like you said Jill, they shake things up a lot!
Julie recently posted..Confession
Awwwwwwwwww.
I love how they had to get the same amount of words per kid…you’re a sick woman and I kind of love it!!!
Rebecca recently posted..Preschool Orientation for the Crazies!!! and pre-surgery crap too
That is such a sweet post. How funny that they all got the same number of words. That way they know it is fair!! ha!
Kameron recently posted..Operation Purge- Part 1
oohhhh i love this!!!!!!!!!
Oh the tears! You melt my heart. You should frame each of these for them. SOOO Beautiful!
Beautiful. Don’t mind admitting that I wish I’d written it. The ‘same number of words’ made me laugh because, at some point, they may actually count them. I once caught my lot counting beans and declaring that one had SOOOO many more than the others, lol.
Aw, I love this!
Lin recently posted..September Is Full Of New Seasons
Love this! For a minute I really thought you were picking one and I got all jiggledy inside worrying about your kids. Phew. I always say, “You’re my favorite 5-(or 6-) year-old.” That seems to make things even.
mecarol recently posted..Online Deals
I think Evan got an extra letter.
DC Urban Dad recently posted..Moms and Dads will you join me
So brilliant. I would’ve been the child who counted the words to see who got the most. I need to remember to do this when/if I have more than one.
Candice recently posted..Keeping Nate Busy and Happy
So glad to see that my son is not the only humming fool when he eats. Love this post, such a wonderful thing the the kids to read when they get older.
Jacki recently posted..I Heart Faces Photo Challenge – Photojournalism
Amazing. They are really lucky children to have you as their mom!
He “remembers being born”–that is awesome!
I loved this whole post, but the last part about the even number of words is pure genius! (And omg, so so necessary.)
Liz @ Peace, Love & Guacamole recently posted..Play a song for me
Fantastic post!!!
This was so, so awesome, Jill! Aww, I LOVED reading this. You are such a wonderful mom and you have three amazing children. ALSO how on earth did you make it happen, to make sure each got the same amount of words? That is incredible. And so very, very good of you! Love this. xo
So sweet. I die. Love it.
Melissa recently posted..RESERVED for jojo – FULTON – repurposed vintage seamless grain sack tote
I love this post. Fantastic.
Love this. I have a confession, though. My baby is my favorite. Most days. I think everyone knows it, too.
Lolli recently posted..Taking The Next Step with Your Photography
mmm – sweet!! Add me to the list of “yep, going to copy that one” … and I agree too on the every year thing. I was writing a letter to each kiddo on their birthday, but I like this idea too!
Darling kiddos (“the smell of your neck” – yep, I’ve got one of those too!)
I’m a little sad the furry babies got no love, what if Lucky reads the blog? Tsk Tsk!
Lovely job, made me tear up.
Yuliya recently posted..Perils of Parenting
Wow this is precious and I am so with you – they are all my favorites for so many reasons. Right now though – Miles makes me exuberantly happy every day and he sounds so mch like Evan it is CRAZY. He rarely knows what he is repeating but he does it anyway and laughs so much and yes, he takes my face in his hands when he kisses me.
Your kids are all so lucky to have you as their mommy!
Brittany at Mommy Words recently posted..This is What I Call Indepence Day!
Love it!! So sweet:)
I absolutely love this!
tears *streaming* down my face. literally. who knew you could make me sappy?! this was beautiful, jill. truly.
Minnesota Mamaleh recently posted..Noshin’- Jew on a Stick A Mid-Fair Report
So sweet. They’ll treasure this when they get older.
My mom still adds up hanukkah receipts between me and my sister to make sure she spent EXACTLY the same amount. That is what this post reminded me of.
jodifur recently posted..9 Years
Sweet sweet post! If you get any hate on this, well then the world is S.O.L.
Julie recently posted..Confession
Precious post! I only have one now but can’t wait to have another to see and love the similarities and differences between the kids. And love them all equally. Unequivocally.
Justine recently posted..Once upon a daddy
Very very sweet. I may have to do this too :)
Wendy recently posted..Oh Hail No- Part 2
And this is what makes you awesome. I love it.
Jennifer recently posted..Whats lurking under your bed
Love this! I totally lol’ed about the same number of words….my four count how many chips, fries, beans, etc. that the other has on their plate. So, I know how important cries of “it’s not fair!” are in a family with multiple children.
That was absolutely beautiful. I love how the first and last sentence were the same for each and that they even got an equal number of words.
Your kids are blessed to have such a great Mommy…I don’t think you’re scary at all! :-D
Beautiful post!! I adore it. You are my absolute favorite.
Peaches recently posted..Cant Get You Out of My Head
This post was awesome!
Jen recently posted..Silly Faces
I have one daughter, one son… I am always telling them ‘you’re my favorite girl’ or ‘favorite boy.’
You should make copies of these letters, and frame them for each of your kids. Such lovely, heartfelt expressions of devotion.
Tara R. recently posted..Homework hell…
I only have one, though I want another, and I often catch myself thinking, “but how could I possibly ever love another child as much as I love her?” It’s good to know it’s possible to find a way.
amber recently posted..If I Had a Million Dollars…
okay – I’m crying. no fair.
Such a sweet post!
Love that you made it totally even, too!
Mommy on the Spot recently posted..Spa-venture
An absolutely brilliant post, all mothers see where you’re coming from and propbably couldn’t have put it so well. xxx
daisie recently posted..A Funny Old Week
I absolutely love this post!
I really love reading your letters! I actually tell each of my kids that they are my favorite, and of course that they should keep it a secret! LOL
The truth is that I was blessed with such uniquely-minded children that I can find something about them that I absolutely love that the others don’t possess. They are all so different and they enrich my life so much.
I started a blog a week or so ago so that I can talk about mothering a child with Asperger’s Syndrome, but I couldn’t quite figure out how or what to write. Thank you for inspiring me to finally see what my blog should be about…
I just recently found you, but I will definiitely follow you from now on. GREAT JOB!
Love this–it is a sassier mommy version of the children’s book “You Are All My Favorites” which was one of the best gifts I received after the birth of my third child.
Practicing Mama recently posted..Thats A Fancy Way of Saying Ham and Cheese Sandwich
You (and them) will treasure this post forever. What a tribute to each of your favorites!
http://www.pampersandpinot.com
I love that you wrote this. It was beautiful.
Gigi recently posted..An Honest Opinion
I love this idea! I am actually going to write all my kids a hand written letter this weekend! When i had my final baby i had a extreme high risk delivery and knew it was risky and i started to write goodbye letters to my kids (age range of 21 to 1) but i could not get past the first paragraph before the paper was drenched in my tears! Thanks for the terrific idea!
jennifer recently posted..Oh HellMart!
Hi Jill,
I’ve been following your blog for a while and have only commented a couple of times. I loved reading these notes for and about your children. We have a four and a half year old. We’ve been trying for a second kiddo since January with no luck so far. Even with hopes and anticipation I was worrying and stressing over the distribution of love and the bonds we share with our children. My family is a bit atypical when compared to the “norm”. I am our daughters step-mother and I co-parent with her biological mother. Our little girl knows she has two moms and she swears she has the best two moms the way most kids swear to have the best mom and the best dad. I am the one who will carry next and I worry about the connections and if I will feel particularly attached to the second kid more than this one but then, in those quiet moments in the morning or as we’re getting ready for bed, our daughter will wrap her arms around my knees and tell me she loves me and I know she will always be my little girl, my first little girl and the poor child who had to experience my first attempts at parenthood. I think I might be indebted to her for the next few decades for that process. :) We are fortunate though, for those moments and I adore her.
Jaime recently posted..Veggies
This is such a sweet post!
Kimberly recently posted..Post It Note Tuesday
I love that you pointed out that each one has the same number of words. In true sibling form.
This is a beautiful reminder to notice the uniqueness of our children, how blessed we are to have them in our lives, and to share that with them.
Thanks.
So diplomatic…and very sweet. I tell my kids all the time “I love you the most, don’t tell your sister” but I always say it where the other one can obviously hear me…they giggle everytime :-)
pamtastic recently posted..Happy Fall Y’all!
this brings me to a question that haunts me alot, i dont have a lot of time to expand on it, but i have 3 girls, 6, 4, and 1. the middle one constantly tells me she would rather live with her nana and never see us again. this is killing me. i try to make sure i am available for her whenever she needs me because i think in some way i may have shunned her or something. evertime the oppertunity arrises she wants to go there. and she never wants to come home. the only reason i get her to come home is for school. i love her so much. she is breaking my heart. should i take it so personally, she is only 4? but she means it with every ounce of herself. has anyone experianced this?
Sounds to me like middle child syndrome. Please don’t take it to heart, mom. Consider that when she is with mommy, big sister gets attention because she is the first to achieve everything (if only because of her birth order), and little sister is still toddling and needs mommy’s watchful eye. When she is at nana’s she’s the only one, and gets to have attention, hugs and kisses all to herself! Remember that our little people are opportunists by nature, so she’s only asking for what works best for HER! ;)
It’s perfectly normal and healthy for her to behave this way, and you are a great mom for indulging her even though it breaks your heart… I would suggest that you make some clear boundaries for her, and that means making sure you praise her for her unique gifts and talents, tell her you love her, and also explain that while she may lover her nana and want to live there forever, mommy gets to have her first and most.
A great book for her would be “The One in the Middle is the Green Kangaroo”.
Good luck!
Beautiful writing and the children are just as beautiful! Reading this as I am heading to bed for the night. How can I not have sweet dreams?!? Thank you
I love this post. I read it twice, teared up and plucked my daughter from her crib for a big hug.
beckie recently posted..1- 2- 3 go
Deeeee.Lish.Us. Absolutely darling.
Kate Shields recently posted..My Jersey Shore
Isn’t it great having a favorite child? xx the other jill
I love it! How in the world did you manage to do the exact same number of words? You are a rock star.
And *THIS* is why I love you most! What a fantastic post!!!
Kelly recently posted..MGB- Blogger of the Month is Here!
And *THIS* is why I love you most! What a fantastic post, I read it twice with a smile each tme!
Kelly recently posted..MGB- Blogger of the Month is Here!
jill, this totally made my day. sometimes it’s difficult to say all the things you love about your kids without saying anything that pisses you off about them, but you did it so well. no matter how much i complain about my children, they are my life–i think they’re probably the only people in world i would give up everything for (maybe my husband makes the list).
it’s so reassuring to know that you, who can find the humor and fun in all the crap that comes with being a mother, can also say exactly who her children are. loved it.
alexis recently posted..religion- awkward thursday-style
That was such a nice tribute to each child! I’m going to cut and paste it to my own three one day:)
I’ve seen something similar before and I love it! We just checked out a book from the library about a monster momma saying who she loves best. Too cute.
I am very impressed they all have the same number of words.
Awwwwwwww… So sweet…… Letters from a mom to her kids always make me cry. The words you wrote to them made me ache for my children also. Maybe I’ll try writing my kids letters also.:-)
I am SOOO doing this. My 3 boys all just assume they are the favorite…it’s rather comical as from day to day at least 2 of them are on my shit list.
Not to bring down the tone of this lovely post….but when my mom died, I sat at the bank with a lawyer and a representative from the state as we opened mom’s safe deposit box(in case she has squirrled away a zillion bucks that I was trying to avoid paying taxes on–jerks).
Inside, was a little note from her. A private joke that only I understood. You have NO idea how much that meant to me. I still have it (20 years later) and well up with tears every time I look at it.
Please make sure you keep those notes where the children will see them when the time is appropriate. You will be giving them the best gift they ever had.
That’s so sweet about your mom. The whole reason I started a blog was to leave the kids with something from me- hopefully they’ll appreciate it more than resent it!
Best idea ever. Isn’t so great to love your children in such individual ways? That’s what makes them so special!!! My favorite is the one who isn’t annoying me at the moment…is that wrong?
Your Mommy Friend Lori recently posted..My Lucky Charm
I love posts like these and peeking into another mother’s love for her children. And well done on giving each the same “gift.”
Love this!
Oh.My.Gosh. This post was perfection! I could feel the love you have for your kids wrapping around every word. Beautiful!
Rhea recently posted..Do You Give Good Phone Voice
Beautiful! Also, kinda eerie because it sounds like you’re describing my three almost perfectly. We are lucky mommies to have three favorites.
I’m going to share this post with the world (or at least the people I know.;) )
Cristie Ritz King recently posted..Private Investigating-Back to School Style
This-is-so-fabulous! Love it love it!
StacyQ recently posted..First Full Week of School
This is perfect, Jill. LOVE it.
Jennifer, Playgroups are no place for children recently posted..I have a Conundrum for you
I LOVED this post. I have two favorite children, and if we have a third, I’m sure I’ll have three!
christy recently posted..Farm fun
I’m 36 and the oldest of 4, and when I call my parents my Dad will call out, “Sue, it’s your favorite daughter!” Of course, we’re all the favorite daughter! I love your article. I’m the also the mom of two girls– one is my favorite older daughter, the other my favorite younger daughter!
Jessica recently posted..Totally Random Internet Find
I am a virgin to your blog and this is where I chose to start. You are a rock star – I aspire to be a ‘scary mommy’ like you.
I look forward to keeping up with your blog :)
OH MY GOD – this may be the most beautiful thing I have ever read – I love that you love your kids – I love your blog – I wish it was hormones but I have nothing to blame – I am shamelessly bawling and it feels good –
EVERY CHILD should have someone write them a letter like this –
as a high school teacher – often dealing with kids who have never had anyone feel this way about them – it would make a world of difference.
WOW. You are amazing.
Erin recently posted..Isnt It All Worth It
What a totally wonderful post! I just came across you this morning. Your Blog Title grabbed me because long ago when I was a new mommy I ranted in my journal about how we were never told the tough stuff about parenting. It was all sweet brochures about everlasting love.
I love that your generation is able to vent and share via blogging, FB etc.
Sorry about that, my last comment included the wrong website address, that’s not me. But interesting to find someone else with the same Blog name! Ha! This one is correct!
Brenda Susan recently posted..How I Became A Mother-In-Law
Absolutely fantastic! I loved each and every bit of all three letters…and to give each kid the same number of words…priceless!
Kimberly recently posted..One step forward- Two steps back
I LOVE this post! It reminds me of my mother who always needs to make everything even, but more importantly it helps put to rest my fears that I won’t be able or know how to love more children the way I love my baby. It’s so hard to picture any others around when I just keep loving her more every day. (except when she’s screaming for no reason. Then I don’t feel all that lovey)
Andrea recently posted..Friday Flip-Offs 11-5-10
Oh my goodness, I just stumbled across this one in your blog history. So sweet. So true. And yes, totally tearing up!! You rock!
Steph – 3 of Mine recently posted..Tis the Season
My favorite part of this is remembering to mention they have the same number of words!!! lol!!!
jill recently posted..Cooking with kids
I love this post. I tell all 3 of my kids they are my favorite. They just roll their eyes at me, but they each know that I love them most.
Love!
Jeannie recently posted..Mediation is done
Brilliant. After my Granny Sarah died (two of us cousins named our daughters Sarah, if that tells you anything about how much we loved her), come to find out, we all talked about this very thing. Every one of us, in our heart of hearts (all six of us), really, really believed that we were her favorite. Now I understand that we really were ;-)
So cute how they each got their own amount of words. This was so touching! It reminds me of me, my brother, and my mother. My brother and I are two extremely different people and I believe that we are both genuinely her favorite people in extremely different ways. I HAVE to share this with her. She will love it!
Am pregnant with my 2nd and often worry that i’ll love my first more…this made me realise that I’ll probably love them the same for different reasons…
This is the sweetest thing I have ever read. I’m only a 19 year old college student (sans kids) and I cried the entire time I read this!
I just found your site and you are fabulous. LOVE this particular entry. My 9yo asks me who my favorite is all.the.time (he has a 4 yo sister) and I tell him he’s my favorite son, and dd is my favorite daughter. I will have to follow your lead and write something akin for each of them.
Thanks :)
Love, love, love this!! Just getting into reading your blogs and loving what I have read so far. Thanks for showing I’m not the only insecure, hormonal, sometimes a little off the deep end, head-over-heels in love with my kids kinda mom :-) Certain days it’s hard to feel like anyone else has a clue.
Oh, Jill, that was so beautiful. Thanks for that. I have 4 kids and I need to do something like this for them–they deserve it. Great job. They’ll be so blown away by it when they get older, and realize how much mom loves them…even if she’s scary! :P
Oh that’s precious! Made me tear up. Lucky kids to have such a loving mama
My dad would always say i was his favorite oldest daughter my sister his favorite middle and so on.. there were five of us