Parenting

The 10 Most Ridiculous Things This Adoptive Family Has Heard

by Rachel Garlinghouse
Updated: 
Originally Published: 

1. “Are you going to tell the kids they are adopted?” You do see that we are white and the kids are black, right? I’m pretty sure if we didn’t tell them they were adopted, they’d figure it out.

2. “Why didn’t her mom want her? I mean, she’s so beautiful.” Our kids being placed for adoption had nothing to do with their looks, and the kids were “wanted” and are loved by their biological parents. As for the reason the kids were placed for adoption? None of your business.

3. “Aren’t you scared that having open adoption will increase the chances of your kids’ biological parents trying to take them back?” No. Our adoptions were ethical and legal. We chose open adoption because we believe it’s mutually beneficial for us, our children, and their biological parents.

4. “What would you do if your kids’ birth parents just rang your doorbell one day?” We’d welcome them warmly, invite them in, pour some wine, and chat. But… thanks for being weird.

5. “Now that you adopted, are you going to try and have your own kids?” My kids are “my own.” Qualifiers aren’t necessary or appreciated.

6. “God bless you for adopting these poor children who needed a good home. They are so lucky you adopted them!” Our kids aren’t charity cases. They came from loving, biological parents who felt they couldn’t parent a child at the time the child was born. We are honored to be our children’s parents, and we are the lucky ones!

7. “Were his birth parents on drugs?” Are you on drugs? Because you are trippin’ if you think I’m going to answer your question.

8. “They are sooooooooooooo cute! What country are they from?” Um, Missouri.

9. “Oh! Well, are they full or mixed?” My kids aren’t a dog breed or a cup of Starbucks. They are people with thoughts and feelings. But thanks for being weird. Again.

10. “Are they all real siblings?Yes. Do you not see the way they are torturing one another right now? That’s as real as it gets!

This article was originally published on