How to Get Un-Followed onTwitter

Twitter Etiquette

Last night, I received an aggressive e-mail from someone I recently un-followed on Twitter inquiring as to the reasons I un-followed her. The fact that she bombarded me with that question solidified my decision, but for her (and you,) here goes…

The people I’m sure to unfollow:

1. The Twitter Addicts: You know, the ones who post a constant stream of tweets, every minute or two throughout the day. The people whose icons totally monopolize my screen and prevent me from seeing anyone else. What do these people do? Do they have jobs? Lives? Apparently Jennifer Aniston dumped John Mayer for being addicted to Twitter and I can see why. It’s annoying as hell.

2. The Auto Message Senders: Please don’t thank me for my follow and tell me how much you look forward to getting to know me. It’s a surefire way to guarantee that you won’t because I unfollowed you the minute I got the message. Tweet me or send me a personalized message or just ignore me. Please.

3. The Sketch Balls: Folks who follow thousands and have no updates or followers themselves, but want access to the inner workings of my head? No thank you, they get blocked from my updates.

4. The Pimps: People who do nothing but promote their own cause. Sure, I post links to my blog when I have a new post, and I’m fine when other people do the same. But people who do nothing but pimp themselves? I don’t want to see that.

5. The Lazy Bones: If you haven’t updated in six months, I’ll probably unfollow you. Nothing personal, but what’s the point?

6. Annoying Famous People: Celebrities who send public kisses to each other all day long. As fascinating as I find celebs, I prefer to read about them in US Weekly. On Twitter, they are a bit too much like “us” and I find it irritating rather than endearing.

7. The “Follow you, Follow me” folks: Have you ever been followed by someone only to follow them back to be unfollowed? How rude is that? Two can play that game, so consider yourself dumped.

8. Social Media Experts: What qualifications do these people have? I have a blog, a Facebook account etc. Maybe I should start calling myself an expert? Would you all buy that? Exactly.

9. The Overshare-ers: Twitter is innately narcissistic. Are any of us really as interesting as we think we are? Probably not. But do you really think that people want to know about the zit on your forehead or the dump you just took? Maybe they do, but I don’t.

10. The Sunshine Spreaders: Maybe I’m too jaded, but having messages constantly pop up that tell me to smile and love life make me want to punch the computer screen. Perhaps that’s my problem though.

11. The Bible Quoters: You love Jesus. You know Bible passages. A lot of people do, but is Twitter really the place to profess that? All day long? Not for me.

12. The Number Seekers: “I need 876 followers to reach 1,000!! Please re-tweet!!!” And… what’s the point of doing this for you? Tweet something of substance and your numbers will grow. Keep doing this and they won’t. Or at least they shouldn’t.

13. The Contest Whores: Bloggers often offer an extra entry for their contest for tweeting it. There are many people who do nothing but tweet about contests, all day long. I believe these people should disqualify from  that extra entry because they rarely have followers and the whole point is to gain visibility. And also they’re really irritating. A new laptop might be worth entering, but a box of two dollar breakfast bars? Not so much.

I might be willing to let you slide if you only possess one of the above, especially if you offer me some value mixed in (or if you’re hot, Ashton.) But, two or more and you’re history. And I won’t miss you one bit. And thank you, annoying woman for inspiring a blog post– I was stumped on what to write about today. Now I’ll go and Twitter about it. And you won’t even know, because I blocked you. So there.

About the writer

@scarymommy

What started as an innocent on-line baby book to chronicle Jill Smokler’s stay-at-home days with her children, quickly transformed into a vibrant community of parents, brought together by a common theme: Parenting doesn’t have to be perfect. Welcome to Scary Mommy!

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Maira 5 months ago

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James 1 year ago

I’ve got quite a bit from this post – I’ve only recently joined twitter, even though I’ve used other social media for years! Part of the problem is knowing just what to post in the first place! I don’t want to be a ‘Sketch Ball’!

Pam 5 years ago

There are some real creeps in Twitter land. Someone followed me with a baby girl pic and the profile said. I just need a real man to take care of me.

creepy

heading off to whiddle down that mess.

brentheriot 5 years ago

I think I’m going to develop, what I like to think of as, Social Multiple Personality Syndrome. Ive recently opened a 2nd facebook acct to seperate my personal and business(?) personas. This way, I wont be constantly posting ‘GREAT DEALS’ or ‘FREE SAMPLE’ and ‘IVE JUST ENTERED __’….all over friends pages. *some people I know believe thrifty=crazy*
Instead I tell those friends that my dog barked last night so I slept with an machete under my pillow…. cause that doesnt make me sound crazy.

Shelly 5 years ago

I’m new to twitter and found this article VERY helpful! My thoughts exactly… its really about common sense.
Thanks!

Jamie 5 years ago

I’m late to the twitter party so I appreciate your sage and hilarious advice! I’ve just discovered your blog and it’s a riot! I look forward to catching up and reading more in the future.

Alicia @MommyDelicious 5 years ago

This. Is. HILARIOUS! And so so true. I’m pretty new to Twitter, but I have found these to be quite annoying and a surefire way for me to unfollow someone.

Marlie 5 years ago

This post was hilarious! I hate it when I follow people and they don’t follow me back! I mean if it’s famous person or a random person I might can understand that, but someone I’ve actually met, that’s just rude!

Dana 5 years ago

I loved this post and your honesty! I was hesitant to start tweeting too. Now I am hooked, still learning, but hooked. Enjoying all the information that can be learned and all the Mommy insight.

Thanks for sharing :)

Amanda Hall 5 years ago

I totally just unfollowed Sabrina The Teenage Witch (AKA Melissa “Melly” <-? Joan Hart) because she tweeted constantly. Good grief we don't want to know a celebrity is bored!

CalGirl009 5 years ago

My beef is with the half day one day followers. The people who fart around and leave without no reason. Then they get pissed when you find out. Send u a nasty message. I want to accomplish something here with Twitter. The one day half day people need to not follow for the hell of it. Opinions??

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