Twitter is hot. If the internet were high school, Twitter would totally be the knock-out cheerleading prom queen. You can’t turn on the news without hearing requests to Twitter the station your thoughts. Stores offer Twitter only discount codes. There’s the CNN/Kutcher race to gain a million followers. There’s Hugh Jackman’s promise to donate 100k to one individual’s favorite non profit, provided the person convinces him of their worthiness in one tweet. There are over 8 million people twittering. Even my husband is contemplating creating an account, and he’s always the last on board.
It’s an interesting place, Twitterville. I was hesitant to join— it’s hard enough to find decent subject matter to write on my blog, never mind interesting 140 character updates. But I succumbed, and I can see why people like it. It’s a fantastic networking tool. It’s a great place to get instant opinions on any number of topics, and to spew out fleeting thoughts. I have a tendency to keep e-mail correspondences going for way too long, always wanting to have the final word even if it’s just an emoticon. With Twitter, I don’t feel the need to respond to everything and I don’t get offended when people don’t respond to me. It’s fast moving and fluid and a great way to meet new people. And one of the greatest things is the ability to unfollow those new people in an instant if they piss you off.
Last night, I received an aggressive e-mail from someone I recently unfollowed inquiring as to the reasons I unfollowed her. The fact that she bombarded me with that question solidified my decision, but for her (and you,) here goes… The people I’m sure to unfollow:
1. The Twitter Addicts: You know, the ones who post a constant stream of tweets, every minute or two throughout the day. The people whose icons totally monopolize my screen and prevent me from seeing anyone else. What do these people do? Do they have jobs? Lives? Apparently Jennifer Aniston dumped John Mayer for being addicted to Twitter and I can see why. It’s annoying as hell.
2. The Auto Message Senders: Please don’t thank me for my follow and tell me how much you look forward to getting to know me. It’s a surefire way to guarantee that you won’t because I unfollowed you the minute I got the message. Tweet me or send me a personalized message or just ignore me. Please.
3. The Sketch Balls: Folks who follow thousands and have no updates or followers themselves, but want access to the inner workings of my head? No thank you, they get blocked from my updates.
4. The Pimps: People who do nothing but promote their own cause. Sure, I post links to my blog when I have a new post, and I’m fine when other people do the same. But people who do nothing but pimp themselves? I don’t want to see that.
5. The Lazy Bones: If you haven’t updated in six months, I’ll probably unfollow you. Nothing personal, but what’s the point?
6. Annoying Famous People: Celebrities who send public kisses to each other all day long. As fascinating as I find celebs, I prefer to read about them in US Weekly. On Twitter, they are a bit too much like “us” and I find it irritating rather than endearing.
7. The “Follow you, Follow me” folks: Have you ever been followed by someone only to follow them back to be unfollowed? How rude is that? Two can play that game, so consider yourself dumped.
8. Social Media Experts: What qualifications do these people have? I have a blog, a Facebook account etc. Maybe I should start calling myself an expert? Would you all buy that? Exactly.
9. The Overshare-ers: Twitter is innately narcissistic. Are any of us really as interesting as we think we are? Probably not. But do you really think that people want to know about the zit on your forehead or the dump you just took? Maybe they do, but I don’t.
10. The Sunshine Spreaders: Maybe I’m too jaded, but having messages constantly pop up that tell me to smile and love life make me want to punch the computer screen. Perhaps that’s my problem though.
Edited to add the following, because this list would be incomplete without and I wish I’d thought of them at six o’clock this morning…
11. The Bible Quoters: {Inspired by Barefoot Foodie} You love Jesus. You know Bible passages. A lot of people do, but is Twitter really the place to profess that? All day long? Not for me.
12. The Number Seekers: {Inspired by Marinka} “I need 876 followers to reach 1,000!! Please re-tweet!!!” And… what’s the point of doing this for you? Tweet something of substance and your numbers will grow. Keep doing this and they won’t. Or at least they shouldn’t.
13. The Contest Whores: Bloggers often offer an extra entry for their contest for tweeting it. There are many people who do nothing but tweet about contests, all day long. I believe these people should disqualify from that extra entry because they rarely have followers and the whole point is to gain visibility. And also they’re really irritating. A new laptop might be worth entering, but a box of two dollar breakfast bars? Not so much.
I might be willing to let you slide if you only possess one of the above, especially if you offer me some value mixed in (or if you’re hot, Ashton.) But, two or more and you’re history. And I won’t miss you one bit. And thank you, annoying woman for inspiring a blog post– I was stumped on what to write about today. Now I’ll go and Twitter about it. And you won’t even know, because I blocked you. So there.
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{ 188 comments… read them below or add one }
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I agree with your list. I follow people for what they have to say and b/c they interest me. I really wonder sometimes how such random followers find me, only to be unfollowed when I don’t follow back.
Karen Hartzell, Graco’s last blog post..Dinner as a Family…Tips & Tricks for an “Easy Dinner”
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I have to bookmark this and post a hat to to you for when I have a writers block coming on.
This post has everything pretty much covered and I cannot agree more. Especially #1 Freaking annoys me to see somebody tweet every 20 seconds about nothing.
macbros’s last blog post..The Economy Effecting AdSense?
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I loved this post! Echoed so many of my twitter frustrations.
I have another one for you though, people who only ever re-tweet or link to blogs, you get nothing original from them and all they do is prove they’re never off twitter and they’re very good at finding interesting stuff on the web.
Saying that I follow a few people who find such interesting blogs and links that I can’t bear to unfollow, HELP! :)
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That follow, unfollow thing is exactly why I don’t tweet. I’m already addicted to Facebook I don’t need something else to add to my time wasting habits. Plus, what happened to having a little mystery in life? I really don’t want to know every detail of everybody’s life! That’s something coming from me, since I’m one of the nosiest people on the planet!
Heather’s last blog post..More than a Mom?
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What is it about the number 3’s? I don’t get it.
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Thanks for a great list! I’ll be linking this. I too have to have some value for the time spent.
Lloyd Lemons’s last blog post.."Only Suckers Pay Taxes!"
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Yep! I have the same perspective on Twitter. I wrote about it on my blog as well. I put the link in the website section. I’m gonna go ahead and post a link to your blog in that entry. Another excellent post.
Jeannie’s last blog post..End-of-the-Semester Excuse Maker Strikes Again
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Loved the photos of your kids! I am Bubbe (grandma) to 10 and used to be the director of a preschool, so I know. These are happy kids, and their Mom is anything but scary.
all the best,
Lois Shenker
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Great info! Love your post and agree with ALL of them. It’s too bad that SPAMMERS have now found Twitter. yuk. I’m wondering how do you know if someone unfollows you? I think I tried Qwitter, but never got it to work… Thanks, d
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I totally agree with you on your points. I can’t stand automated anything. It drives me nuts!
Jamie Favreau’s last blog post..Blogger relations and how it works for your job search
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Twitter is handy for blogging. You can find a target group (over time) that both read your blog and provide good fodder for future blogs. I like the links provided…that’s how I got here.
Leslie’s last blog post..Music for a broken heart
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You have touched a very good topic. I am yet to understand twitter completely. Why should i follow one only to read the endless streams of tiny urls? I know very well that the same people even dont care to see my updates rather go on increasing their number of twits or number of followers as if they set a monthly or weekly target. this brand of twitter users just go on passionately without any care for others. You are right when you say that those twitter users who bombard the inbox, have got nothing do to then posting 100 urls per day or 100 twits per day.
This is rubbish. there is nothing like feeling and sentiment only professionalism or pseudo professionalism. “Oh thanks” Even this sentence follow a link. Nonsense.
Your article just summarizes what twitter is and what users have made it.
Thanks
Sudam Panigrahi´s last blog ..Wicked Wind
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Hi, I was looking for articles about good Twitter etiquette and I bumped into yours. I thought it was very well written and that very well applies for most of people. I would like to ask for your permission to quote some of your rules in my own blog (written in spanish), along with others I’ve found on the web.
I’ll wait for your answer, thanks!
Gonzalo Medel´s last blog ..Broken, beat & scarred…
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I recently had like 20 people unfriend me at once….. I thought ‘Did I do something offensive?’ Now I know it’s because I only tweet when I have a new blog post. I figured I’m not that interesting for everything I’m doing…. but I’m going to work at being more narcissistic and less pimptastic. Thanks!
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Great list, I think you just summed up what many of us think about Twitter morons.
Jessica´s last blog ..What Does A SAHM Do?
Twitter: Unemployed_Mom
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This is a GREAT LIST, that though it was published months ago is just as timely (if not more so) today. I’m going to Tweet the link to ScaryMommy’s story now for two reasons. 1st, I think it might influence those who are now playing the uncool following-unfollowing game who really know better — in the hopes that it will inspire them to change their ways. If they make the right choices they actually will get just as much from Twitter as they give back to it. 2nd, the newbies need to be educated and warned not to fall into the numbers game that so many Twitterers now compete in, because if everyone plays the game fairly it is a win-win for all.
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I would totally call you the expert of social networking.
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I finally protected my tweets. Too many freaks.
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I appreciate your blog, and your guidelines for twitter. Knowing that we’re all a little narcissistic but working on it, while loving our kids, is all we can ask of each other. Here’s to keeping it real.
Namaste, Bruce
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And months after the fact, I clicked the link in your sidebar to check this one out: still totally relevant.
I am guilty of tweeting about contests. I set them up to auto-tweet at 10:30 AM. Other than that I refrain. Although, for a while I was obsessing over trying to win a Tassimo system, and even I was annoyed with myself.
I totally agree about the Bible quotes, or The Secret quotes, or anything that is meant to inspire me, but only ends up irritating me. I have unfollowed a few people who I felt were spamming me with evangelism.
WannabeMomErin´s last blog ..Blog Design – credit where credit is due.
Twitter: wannabemomerin
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My biggest peeve, though: Retweeters. I hate seeing people constantly reteweeting other people’s crap. If I cared about said other people and their crap, wouldn’t I be following them?
And sure twitter has that new updated version of retweeting and now you can selective opt out of recieving retweets. But… there are those who retweet the old fashioned “RT @” way instead of hitting the retweet button, and those unfortunately cannot be blocked.
Gets on my nerves!! EEE!
The Wifey´s last blog ..So Maybe I Lied
Twitter: ggthewifey
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OMG YES THE CONTEST TWEETERS. Gag me with a spoon.
Twitter: SaraPlaysHouse
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Amen, Amen, Amen! What a great post. I go through my new Followers every single day. Anyone who is a legitimate blogger or who seems like they might have something interesting to say, I keep, but the rest of them – block, block, block!
I just think the idea of all these strangers reading all my posts to my friends is kind of creepy. I posted something about being broke, living in a tent and eating top ramen and the next day @TopRamen was following me. Icky.
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I had to laugh at your post -thanks :)
The other thing that annoys me is when people tweet about a catastrophe or event with things like “Show your support for the people in Haiti by wearing a ribbon on your avatar”. To my mind, that does nothing at all except make you feel you’ve done something to help the cause, when really you haven’t – what you should do is get out there and donate your time/money/whatever
Sarah Stewart´s last blog ..PhD Dropout
Twitter: SarahStewart
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Great list! Can I tweet this? LOL :D Btw, I’ve been getting the spam “congrats Maureen you just won….” with a link to it. I’m like WTH? I’ve been combating enough spam on my emails already I don’t need them on Twitter too.
Maureen´s last blog ..10 Tips To Survive International Flight With Toddler
Twitter: tattertots06
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Whew. What a list. You put a lot of thought into this. What’s funny is I just tweeted you to tell you that I enjoy your blog, and asked if you follow back.
Not sure if that broke a rule, but I guess I’ll find out if you don’t follow me. No biggie!
The Pursuit of Mommyness´s last blog ..The Pregnancy Sign Mind Game: Saturday Confessional Part 1
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I just started on Twitter and this is sooooo helpful thank you! I don’t think I made any real mistakes yet because right now I don’t know what the hell I am doing!!! hahaha.
This Mama Works It!´s last blog ..Time Out For Theta Mom Thursdays: An Hour Alone…Just Me and My Brazilian Waxer!
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Bible quotes: Jesus wept…but I tend to think that if he had to tweet, he’d bawl hysterically
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laughing…oh my, these are spot ON-great!!!
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Excellent post! Thanks. May I add another category? How about “You Heard It Here First-ers”? People who RT the breaking news headlines, as if we don’t all follow CNN or some other news service. The first tweet about the celebrity death or earthquake is good…the 100 that follow, I’m not so interested in.
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Wow that is very interesting!!!! I am VERY new to twitter and am trying to figure out how it works….and boom you made me feel better!!! I thought it was me not understanding how it all worked, but obviously the things that were annoying to me is to others too!!!! thanks for sharing!!!! great post!!!!
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Wendy Wiseman Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 4:17 pm
Missyjensen,
Welcome to the newbee world of twittering. ME TOO am NEW!!!!
Wendy Wiseman´s last blog ..Following Your Gut Instincts
Twitter: kiboomu
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Wonder if I should tweet this….Hmmm…. ;-)
This is a great post. While I am guilty of tweeting contests, they are far and few between. But, when they happen, they come in bulk…just to be honest. I basically have the same rules as you…if you annoy me or over-tweet I will block you!
Lindsay @ Kids Are Teachers´s last blog ..Free Samples!!
Twitter: gamommy2two
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A very helpful post. I hope I stop reading these at some point or I might hesitate to join the party…naaah!
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I am thoroughly enjoying your blog, and learning how NOT to get followed! I don’t do any of the above. However, perhaps I am making the WRONG friends/followers? Somehow they just follow me, but when I go to them, they own many of the above traits, and so I just don’t follow them!
I plan to read all the links from your blog, and learn as much as I can, as quickly as I can.
XO
Wendy
Twitter: kiboomu
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Scary Mommy Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 6:07 pm
That happens to me, too. I used to try and follow people back, but I have so many spammy followers that I had to stop. A good thing to do is go to buzzom.com and click cross-follow. Type in a someone who is similar to you and follow the people they follow- it will give you a nice base. :)
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Forgot to leave my twitter. LOL
Wendy Wiseman´s last blog ..Following Your Gut Instincts
Twitter: kiboomu
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Ok, I am annoying myself now! I gave the WRONG twitter address!
I am such a newbee!
My twitter is @kiboomu
Wendy Wiseman´s last blog ..Following Your Gut Instincts
Twitter: kiboomu
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I wish I could tweet. I seem to have some blocking aura surrounding me. Can’t log-in, keep getting suspended. I have no idea what I’m doing wrong. Must just be the remedial child in the class!
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Thank you SO much for the twitter etiquette! I’m new to tweeting, and haven’t quite figured out all the ins and outs yet! This was very helpful!
Twitter: bloggingpink
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