2014-THANKSgiving

How to Get Un-Followed onTwitter

228 Comments

Twitter Etiquette

Last night, I received an aggressive e-mail from someone I recently un-followed on Twitter inquiring as to the reasons I un-followed her. The fact that she bombarded me with that question solidified my decision, but for her (and you,) here goes…

The people I’m sure to unfollow:

1. The Twitter Addicts: You know, the ones who post a constant stream of tweets, every minute or two throughout the day. The people whose icons totally monopolize my screen and prevent me from seeing anyone else. What do these people do? Do they have jobs? Lives? Apparently Jennifer Aniston dumped John Mayer for being addicted to Twitter and I can see why. It’s annoying as hell.

2. The Auto Message Senders: Please don’t thank me for my follow and tell me how much you look forward to getting to know me. It’s a surefire way to guarantee that you won’t because I unfollowed you the minute I got the message. Tweet me or send me a personalized message or just ignore me. Please.

3. The Sketch Balls: Folks who follow thousands and have no updates or followers themselves, but want access to the inner workings of my head? No thank you, they get blocked from my updates.

4. The Pimps: People who do nothing but promote their own cause. Sure, I post links to my blog when I have a new post, and I’m fine when other people do the same. But people who do nothing but pimp themselves? I don’t want to see that.

5. The Lazy Bones: If you haven’t updated in six months, I’ll probably unfollow you. Nothing personal, but what’s the point?

6. Annoying Famous People: Celebrities who send public kisses to each other all day long. As fascinating as I find celebs, I prefer to read about them in US Weekly. On Twitter, they are a bit too much like “us” and I find it irritating rather than endearing.

7. The “Follow you, Follow me” folks: Have you ever been followed by someone only to follow them back to be unfollowed? How rude is that? Two can play that game, so consider yourself dumped.

8. Social Media Experts: What qualifications do these people have? I have a blog, a Facebook account etc. Maybe I should start calling myself an expert? Would you all buy that? Exactly.

9. The Overshare-ers: Twitter is innately narcissistic. Are any of us really as interesting as we think we are? Probably not. But do you really think that people want to know about the zit on your forehead or the dump you just took? Maybe they do, but I don’t.

10. The Sunshine Spreaders: Maybe I’m too jaded, but having messages constantly pop up that tell me to smile and love life make me want to punch the computer screen. Perhaps that’s my problem though.

11. The Bible Quoters: You love Jesus. You know Bible passages. A lot of people do, but is Twitter really the place to profess that? All day long? Not for me.

12. The Number Seekers: “I need 876 followers to reach 1,000!! Please re-tweet!!!” And… what’s the point of doing this for you? Tweet something of substance and your numbers will grow. Keep doing this and they won’t. Or at least they shouldn’t.

13. The Contest Whores: Bloggers often offer an extra entry for their contest for tweeting it. There are many people who do nothing but tweet about contests, all day long. I believe these people should disqualify from  that extra entry because they rarely have followers and the whole point is to gain visibility. And also they’re really irritating. A new laptop might be worth entering, but a box of two dollar breakfast bars? Not so much.

I might be willing to let you slide if you only possess one of the above, especially if you offer me some value mixed in (or if you’re hot, Ashton.) But, two or more and you’re history. And I won’t miss you one bit. And thank you, annoying woman for inspiring a blog post– I was stumped on what to write about today. Now I’ll go and Twitter about it. And you won’t even know, because I blocked you. So there.

Comments

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  1. 1

    Connie @ Young and Relentless says

    It sounds like we have a lot of the same critieria. I don’t feel badly at all when I unfollow someone. Part of the problem is that if I follow too many people then I can’t really see the folks that I really know of whose blogs I read.

    I recently unfollowed Heidi Montag because all her tweets were about Jesus. Don’t get me wrong…I love Jesus as much as the next guy but coming from her it seemed fake.

    Connie @ Young and Relentless’s last blog post..8 Things

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  2. 2

    Joy @ Mommys Joy says

    Love it! I do the same thing. I had one guy, one night because he got blocked pronto, who kept turning the conversations I was having with someone else into puke jokes. How in the world he found that funny, I’ll never know. Love twitter but I don’ t love the twits!

    Great post!

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  3. 3

    Loukia says

    Hilarious! I totally love this post and I think I will Twitter this link! ;) I block a lot of weird random people that start following me … kinda creeps me out… and I’m with you on the sunshine spreaders. Okay to hear it once from someone but like, all the time… “Smile, love life!” Come on! I love it when fellow bloggers link to new posts, and I love funny little stories or interesting updates.
    I unfollowed Demi Moore because she Tweeted way too much.
    I also get annoyed sometimes with the auto message senders.
    Thanks for a great post!

    Loukia’s last blog post..At the park

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  4. 4

    dawn says

    That was really well written Momma! I enjoyed it. And you know I’m still trying to deal with all the hate mail I get on my blog, I pray I don’t get the same following on Twitter.
    What I don’t get is, if people hate your thoughts or don’t like your style of writing then why do they keep coming back, why not just pass me by? And I love how they have to remain anynomous, are chicken to show their faces.

    dawn’s last blog post..tomato pie

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  5. 5

    Teri says

    For some reason, I just can’t get into the Twitter thing. I’m trying so hard to keep from answering my home phone…I can’t imagine being bombarded with updates of everyone all day long. Facebook is starting to irritate me. Is this unAmerican? :-)

    Teri’s last blog post..Culture Club

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  6. 6

    T&T says

    wow – someone actually emailed you about un-following them? that is – well, sort of creepy and scary! I’m sort of STILL not quite getting Twitter. I try, I really do, I just can’t keep up with it , or more so, my mommy brain can not keep up with it.
    ps – remind me never to piss you off (giggles)

    T&T’s last blog post..Capture: Rustic

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  7. 7

    SquiggleMum says

    Twitter hasn’t taken off in Australia quite the way it has in the US… yet! Glad I’ve read this article. Plenty for me to take on board. Thanks ;)

    SquiggleMum’s last blog post..What’s in a Name?

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  8. 11

    Shannon says

    Wait a minute… someone actually emailed you wanting to know why you unfollowed her on Twitter.

    Srsly?!

    No wonder you blocked her…

    Shannon’s last blog post..Name That Tune

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  9. 12

    Laura says

    Nicely written! I unfollow quite a bit! I get tired of hearing about everyones little aches and pains-save them for your blogs.

    Laura’s last blog post..Hairzing Giveaway 3 Winners!

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  10. 13

    Vickie says

    I have gotten a few of those, thanks for following messages. I didn’t know they were the auto messages. I am so clueless, I didn’t know you could do that on twitter, let alone on blogs.

    Wow, that is a little scary that she emailed you. If they dump me, I just dump them.

    Vickie’s last blog post..Blue Necklace Giveaway

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  11. 14

    Texan Mama says

    This post is perfection. SO hilarious. I am not that into Twitter but I agree – it is the place to be. I often feel like I did in High School: technically in the cool crowd, but always acting like I’ll be shunned any minute. “No, I’m not coming to that party. People probably won’t want me there.” I’m shocked when people follow me. I’m like, WHY? You don’t even know me! Whatev. I’m starting to feel more popular by the tweet.

    Texan Mama’s last blog post..One Spunky Mama

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  12. 15

    Sue says

    I signed up for twitter once just to earn points in a bloggy contest. I can’t find the time for all this electronic communication. I.just.can’t.

    Sue’s last blog post..I’M OUTTA HERE!

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  13. 16

    Michelle says

    I do not twitter, I do not facebook, I do not eat green eggs and ham. I do have a blog, but that’s it. I do not have time to do everything there is to do online. That being said, if I ever get the desire to twitter, I will certainly abide by these rules! I would hate to be unfollowed, I just don’t think I could stand the rejection (snickering), it would just break my heart (snort).

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  14. 17

    SWIRL GIRL says

    I totally agree with your #9. I don’t Tweet because people’s every moment thought or activity is , frankly, just not interesting.

    SWIRL GIRL’s last blog post..The One (what? only one?) with the Frilly Blog Award

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  15. 18

    Starnes Fam says

    Yeah, I just can’t make the move over. I do find it to be a fascinating tool, though. Can only imagine how good you are!

    Starnes Fam’s last blog post..Pre-Med

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  16. 19

    3 Peas in a Pod says

    Your story is a hoot. I still can’t fathom that someone actually cares about being followed or unfollowed. You should’ve told her you just weren’t that into her. That should do it.

    Much love from NJ,
    Sue
    xoxo

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