At two months pregnant, you can barely keep your eyes open and feel like you could sleep 20 hours a day. Sneak in naps when you can, but don’t forget to set an alarm. It’s possible to fall asleep in the car after lunch and miss an afternoon full of meetings. Trust me.
• By now, you’ve probably realized that the term “morning sickness” is total bullshit and the sickness is round the clock. Some women find relief in ginger or lemon candies and some swear by sucking on lollipops all day, but the name of the game is to find what works for you… even if that means a double cheeseburger at 10:00AM. (Need more tips? Read the Morning Sickness Survival Guide.)
• Aside from the bubonic plague type feelings of nausea you’ve been experiencing, you may also get to experience your first bout of mood swings. This is just the beginning of a long road of feeling like you have zero idea or control over what’s happening inside your own body. Better get used to it!
• You may experience tender breasts, too, which may or may not be accompanied by rock star boobs. These may come in handy when convincing your partner to not leave you after your first psycho mood swing attack.
• There’s nothing like a pregnancy to turn a woman into a hypochondriac, so be prepared to interpret every single ache, pain, or gas bubble as a sign that something is wrong. Most likely, it’s not, but the doctors are used to dealing with neurotic moms, so put yours on speed dial.
Scary Mommy Tip: Be sure to use your newfound pregnancy status to your advantage, getting your partner to start taking over as many tasks as possible. You’re carrying a child now, dammit; you deserve some extra help! (Random bonus of pregnancy: You now have a real excuse to not clean your cat’s litter box. Silver linings.)